Total Shuffled World Tour
by Fangren
Summary: [SEQUEL TO TOTAL SHUFFLED ACTION] After fighting to regain their fame, fifteen cast members and two newcomers have been given a place on season three: Total Drama World Tour. But this action-packed and drama-fueled journey around the world is not the same series you know - the cast has been shuffled through time and space. Season Three AU; pairing and update info in first chapter.
1. Chapter 1 - Walk Like an Egyptian, part1

**Author's Note**

It's here! It's here! It's finally here! The third season of the 'Total Shuffled' series has finally arrived, and I sure am excited about it. Please note, though, that _**THIS IS THE DIRECT SEQUEL TO 'TOTAL SHUFFLED ACTION', AND THEREFORE 'TOTAL SHUFFLED ISLAND'. PLEASE READ THEM FIRST IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!**_ As with last season, from here on out I'm going to assume that everyone reading this story is familiar with the series as a whole.

I've got a lot of interesting plot ideas going in to this season, and I sincerely hope I'll be able to implement all of them. It'll still be World Tour of course, but expect plenty of differences from canon - even the order of destinations and the pattern of rewards and eliminations have been changed (if only slightly, and mostly in the first half of the season). And if I'm being honest, there's a definite chance that I'll change even more down the line as my plans for the end-game change.

Right now, though, I'd like to remind everyone that a **TVTropes page for this series exists, and is in need of love.** You can find a link to it in the FanWorks subpage of the Total Drama page.

As long-time readers know by now, this is normally where I'd take the time to answer reviews...but since there aren't any yet, I'll just be posting the usual reminder of the current cast.

Girls \- Bridgette, Dawn, Ella, Sammy, Scarlett, Sierra, Staci, Sugar

Boys \- Alejandro, Beardo, DJ, Ezekiel, Geoff, Lightning, Scott, Shawn, Tyler

The pairings will continue naturally from what has already been established, though with two new characters there is always the possibility for more pairings to crop up.

Likewise, the update schedule will be the same as last season - you can expect a new chapter every Friday afternoon (EST).

This is the end of the main 'Total Shuffled' trilogy, so expect a lot of stuff to get wrapped up on this wild ride around the world. I truly, truly hope you all enjoy the show.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode One – Walk Like An Egyptian, Part One**

"Season _three_ of Total Drama, folks!" Chris McLean opened excitedly, briefly raising three fingers as a drumline opened a grand musical score. Judging by the building and airplane stationed far behind him, the ever-handsome host was standing in the middle of an airport and the sky above was a beautiful blue. "The world is gonna be _mine_ , sea to shining sea!" He slid an open palm through the air in front of him, then turned to the side as a sputtering engine was heard off-screen.

"Sadly," he said as the shot zoomed out as a bus pulled up along the road behind him, "I'm forced to share my world with a three-ring traveling teen freak show." The bus door opened, and the camera cut back to Chris' close-up. "They'll be competing all around the globe for _another_ million dollars," he announced as the familiar cymbals of the show's classic theme started to play. "So, let's meet our players!" The camera cut back to the front of the bus as the cast began to walk by.

"Lightning!" The Athletic Overachiever came out first, grinning at the camera and flexing his arms and wearing a blue backpack in addition to his usual clothes. "Alejandro!" The Arch Villain was next, waving at the camera and wearing a pack that was identical to Lightning's; the sun gleamed off his charming pure-white smile as he passed. "Scarlett!" Third was The Evil Genius, who had opted to go without her glasses, in addition to wearing her hair in a long and bushy ponytail. She still had a thick metal collar around her neck, and she was giving the camera bemused look as she walked past. Her hands were on the straps of her backpack, the same style as those before her but red in color. "Shawn!" The Zombie Conspiracy Nut's hair had grown even more since he'd last been seen, and was now about the same length as it had been in season one. He too wore a blue backpack, and was smiling nervously as he waved at the camera. "Sierra!" Fifth was The Bridge To The Fans, the tall girl wearing a sly smile as she walked past and winked at the camera. Like Scarlett, her bag was red.

The camera cut back to Alejandro and Scarlett as the charmer suddenly stopped, causing the brainiac to bump into him.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said with a dark smile, "I had forgotten about the _criminal_ element in this season's cast."

"If you'd like to make an enemy of me," Scarlett replied sharply, "I'd be _happy_ to oblige."

"You gonna _oblige_ sha-Lightning too?" the uber-jock interrupted as the camera pulled back to include him in the shot. "'Cause _he's_ the man to beat."

The camera panned over to Shawn as he sighed. "Well _that_ didn't take long..."

"Beardo!" Chris announced from next to the bus door, his arms out as The Human Soundboard walked out to the self-made sound of trumpet fanfare.

"Samey, DJ, aaaand, Dawn!" The host continued smiling as The Cheerleader stepped out with her red pack and waved at the camera before frowning at Chris.

"Umm, you do know it's _Sammy_ , right?" she asked.

"Sorry, but the official list says _Samey_ ," Chris told her. "So that's _officially_ your name."

Sammy sighed in annoyance and walked away, getting replaced in the doorway by The Brickhouse With Heart's giant frame. "Can't you just give her a break on that, man?" DJ asked the host, who shook his head and frowned. The gentle giant frowned right back, shaking his head as he walked away with the same blue backpack on his back.

"I know you're only using that name to annoy her," came the voice of The Moonchild as she stepped down the stairs and glared at Chris, her red pack looking almost comically large on her. "It's quite clear in your aura." The host just shrugged.

"And it's quite clear in _my_ aura that you need to _move_!" came the snide and nasally voice of The Devious as he forced Dawn out of the way and stepped out of the bus himself.

"And, _returning_ favorites," Chris said, "Scott! Sugar!" As the farmer walked off, The Pageant Queen stepped out with a wide grin and blew the camera a kiss with both hands. " _Aaaannd_...," the host continued as the camera's focus moved solely onto him.

"Hey, did you guys know that runways were invented by my great-great Aunt's second husband James?" the familiar and annoying voice of The Compulsive Liar prattled, earning a frown from Chris before the camera cut to Staci looking around after having stepped off the bus. "Before him, airplanes had to land on city streets, yah."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure they landed on grass at first, eh," The Homeschooler said as he started walking down the stairs. "At least, that's what my history books-!" With his eyes closed and a finger in the air, Ezekiel wasn't looking where he was going and promptly tripped on Staci.

"Yup!" Chris told the camera. " _Ezekiel's_ back! Also returning this season, Geoff," The Funnest Guy Around stepped out with a grin on his face and tipped his hat at the camera, "and his girlfriend, Bridgette." Geoff turned back and took The Surfer Girl's hand; they shared a kiss, but then Bridgette tried to take a step forward and tripped, adding both blondes to the pile of bodies outside the bus.

"Like, I think you forgot to introduce _me_!" Staci spoke up from the bottom of the pile.

Chris sighed. "And Staci...," he finally said. "And now to mix things up and keep it all fresh," he grinned, "we're adding two _new_ competitors! He's jock-of-all-sports with a famous sportscaster dad and a competitive enthusiasm that outclasses his athletic ability, Tyler!"

The camera cut to The Jock as he stepped into the bus doorway with an excited grin, a radical guitar riff playing in the background. "Aww man," he exclaimed, "this awesome! I'm gonna take this season to the _extreme_! Yeahhahah!" He was shown tripping over his own shoelaces in close-up as he tried to get off the bus, and fell onto the other five just as Bridgette and Geoff were trying to get up. "Oh, whoops, sorry..." Tyler said, his headband askew.

"'S no problemo, dude," Geoff said as he pulled himself out of the pile and stood up. "These things happen." He helped Tyler up, then Bridgette.

"Yeah," Bridgette added as she dusted herself off. "Nice to have you here."

"Except for the _falling_ part, eh," Ezekiel said.

"Yah," Staci nodded.

The scene cut back to Chris as a lighter and more reverent piece began to play. "And _she's_ a music-lover that acts like she came straight out of a fairytale, _Ella_!"

The Fairytale Princess leapt from the bus with a flourish as an elegant song began to play. "The airport at last," she sang, lingering near the five who'd gotten off just before her, "oh we sure got here fast, and I'm honestly very excited!" She smiled, and Tyler did as well before she spun along. "The old and the new," the shot pulled back to show the full cast as she motioned first to her left at the others, then at herself, "oh the journeys we'll do..." The sudden sound of a squeaky wheel and spluttering engine caused her to pause for a second and turn around, then excitedly point. "And oh look! Our ride has been sighted!"

First the grungy and patched-together triple-wheeled undercarriage landing gear. Next, the engines on the right wing, the one with a bird nest in front giving off a short burst of smoke. Then a closer shot of the top half of the plane as it passed the camera, Chef Hatchet visible through the cockpit window wearing a pilot's uniform. And lastly the Chris McLean logo on the side of the jet as the wheels screeched below.

"Sha-whaaaat?" Lightning said, tilting his head up as the jet approached.

Chris himself was shown standing proudly as the massive thing finally rolled to a halt behind him, and several bolts fell down to the pavement with noticeable plinks. The camera zoomed out to show just how large it was next to the cast.

"Excuse me," Alejandro spoke up, "but I'm having concerns about whether or not our plane is _safe_."

"Relax!" Chris told him. "It's perfectly safe!"

Naturally it was then that a panel on the side of the plane fell off, a rat and a raccoon clinging to the piece of metal as it clattered to the ground then running off. "Now boarding!" Chris declared.

"Umm, question," Shawn raised a finger. "Have you checked that thing for _zombies_? Because once we're in the air we'll basically be trapped, making it _super_ important to clear an infestation beforehand."

Chris groaned in annoyance. "There's no zombies, Shawn. Does anyone else have any objections?"

Scarlett immediately raised her hand. "I've already noted 137 _obvious_ mechanical flaws," she told the host with a small smirk, "but I'd be happy to fix them for you."

"Yeah, not after what happened _last_ season," Chris told her with a scowl. He took out a small remote control from his shirt pocket and pressed the button. "So don't get any _thoughts_." Scarlett immediately got shocked by the metal collar around her neck, and the camera cut away to Bridgette, Geoff, and Beardo wincing.

"As I was saying," the host said, putting away the remote and smiling as the camera cut back to him. "Now boarding! On a _voyage_ to a million _big ones_!" He turned and pointed directly at the camera. "We're saving _you_ a first class seat for _all_ the action. Right here," he spread his arms wide, "on Total!" The shot pulled back to show Scarlett on the ground next to him, smoking and twitching slightly. "Drama!" Another pull back showed Bridgette, Geoff, Beardo, and Shawn standing nearby. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" He sang the last two words and a grand little jingle played as the camera zoomed out to show the full cast as well as the jumbo jet.

"Seriously?" Lightning asked in disbelief.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

[The sequence opens with a tilted shot of a stagelight swinging up and turning on in front of an airport control tower, followed by another light popping out of an overhead compartment along with a pair of oxygen masks; then a camera forcibly ejecting a raccoon from a wing engine and another camera bursting out of a suitcase, sending undergarments flying. A pair of white-skinned arms clap a film slate in front of the camera, which then flies down the aisle of first class seats. It passes a drink cart, then forces Chris McLean to jump to the side as the camera flies into the cockpit.]

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;  
_ [Chef Hatchet is piloting the plane in its cockpit, bobbleheads of himself and the host sitting on the control panel. For a single frame he turns his head and glares at the camera before it passes through the windshield and out onto the runway, the silhouette of the CN Tower visible in the distance as the camera flies over and through several baggage tugs.]

 _You guys are on my mind!  
_ [Fading through the whiteness of a baggage cart, the camera emerges close to the CN Tower. The camera flies up along it, the sun shining bright at its peak. The scene arcs downward towards a lake, and speeds forward into it with a splash.]

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,  
_ [The bubbles from the splash fade to show Shawn floating underwater in his bathing suit, trying to pull a gold chain out from under a rock. The chain breaks and he tumbles backwards, and the camera pans up to the surface.]

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!  
_ [On the roof of the cabin of a boat woven from reeds, Lightning flexes his arms and waggles his eyebrows at the camera. A seagull promptly lands on his head and he swats it off, but not before it goes to the bathroom on him.]

 _I wanna be...famous!  
_ [The camera pans down and to the right to where DJ and Sammy are frantically paddling the boat as crocodiles leap out of the water on either side and snap their jaws. The boat leaves the screen, and on 'be' one of the reptiles winces; the camera moves back to the boat, revealing that it had crashed into an inflatable raft which Dawn was meditating on. The raft begins to sank, and while Dawn remains in lotus position DJ and Sammy each grab one of her hands and try to pull her on board their boat.]

 _I wanna live close to the sun!  
_ [The camera flashes to the Statue of Liberty, immediately cutting to the top of its head as Scarlett and Alejandro climb up from the side, then have a one-handed slapfight with one another.]

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!  
_ [The feuding pair stop with shock on their faces as Tyler suddenly runs past, pushing Ezekiel in a baby carriage. The homeschooler's eyes widen in alarm as the jock blindly pushes the carriage straight into Staci, who had gotten down on all fours in their path. The carriage flips over, leaving Ezekiel on the statue's head and flinging Tyler forward. He hits a warning sign with enough force to bend it, then continues on past the statue entirely.]

 _Everythin' to prove,  
_ [The camera quick-pans to Ella singing happily in a frozen setting. Tyler splashes down into a half-frozen body of water behind her, scattering the white-furred seals that had been listening to the girl sing.]

 _Nothin' in my way;  
I'll get there one day.  
_[Another pan to the right shows Sugar watching with her hands on her hips, disapproval and annoyance on her face. She begins to sing as well, only for a furry paw to quickly tap her on the shoulder. The camera pans to a polar bear glaring at the pageant queen, who promptly runs away. On the bear's other side, Scott begins to laugh...]

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!  
_ [...the polar bear then turns to glare at Scott instead, even roaring at the boy and chasing him off. The camera zooms in on the glacial background, and flashes over to Geoff and Bridgette surfing a rather large wave. The girl waves at the camera while the boy tips his hat, then the two move closer for a kiss...and crash, sending both into the water.]

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)  
_ [Beardo and Sierra were next, taking over-exaggerated steps along a certain British crosswalk as the Total Drama Jumbo Jet suddenly flew down the road, forcing both teens to duck in terror as the plane blew cars and trees past them. The scene changes again, now showing the entire cast in a human pyramid on top of the jet wearing parachute packs and kicking their legs to the beat. On bottom are Ezekiel, Scott, Geoff, Staci, Tyler, and Lightning. The second row consists of DJ, Beardo, Sierra, Bridgette, and Shawn. The third row is Scarlett, Alejandro, Sugar, and Ella; while on top are Sammy and Dawn.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)  
_ [The jet flies right past Big Ben, causing one face of its clock to spring off; the jet flies over the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, startling a very French mime into dropping a croissant; the jet flies past a rock balancing on a stone pillar, causing the rock to fall off and land in front of the camera with a cloud of dust.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)  
_ [The dust clears to show Sammy and Dawn in close-up on top of the human pyramid, smiling at one another. The camera then pans down to Scarlett and Alejandro as they glare fiercely at each other, then down again to Geoff and Bridgette looking at each other longingly from different rows.]

[The lyrics end as the scene cuts to Chef Hatchet in the cockpit, looking above him with a scowl on his face. A guitar is strummed as the hulking pilot looks forward and turns the plane sharply to the left, and the last few whistling notes play as, back outside, the cast falls through the open air. Most soon deploy their parachutes and float down safely, the camera panning down as Tyler and Ella arrive to show the majority of the cast lined up and smiling at the camera. The clumsy jock flops down on the far left end; to the right are Alejandro, Beardo, Lightning, Bridgette and Geoff, Dawn and Sammy, Scarlett, Scott, and Ella. DJ is sitting on his butt in front of Sammy and Dawn, the two girls putting their hands on his shoulders to comfort him. Sugar was posing on her side in front Beardo and Lightning, and Ezekiel had landed on his butt next to her in front of Alejandro. The jet speeds in for a landing behind them as the song ends, the logo for 'Total Drama World Tour' on its side. Only then does Staci finally land flat on her face in the middle of the group, causing everybody to avert their eyes from the camera and look down at her with surprise.]

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The scene faded back in to Chris leading the cast into what looked like an eating area. "Are we really gonna be _singing_?" Sammy wondered aloud. "I thought that was, like, a _joke_."

"Well I think it's _wonderful_!" Ella said cheerily.

"Duh, you actually _like_ singing," Scott said sharply.

"Well _Lightning_ don't!" the uber-jock interjected. " _Singin_ ' ain't a sport. Singin' ain't even sha- _physical_!"

"Long as I can beatbox I'm cool with it," Beardo added.

"Sha-good for you!" Lightning shot at the other boy. "Lightning still ain't gonna sing!"

"Is there _any_ point is asking why you've decided to do this?" Scarlett asked in a deadpan tone, still looking slightly singed.

"Singing reality shows are _huge_ ," Chris explained. "And! The worse the singing, the higher the ratings! _Which_ is why on this show," the camera began to pan across the mostly-nervous faces of the cast, "there will _be_ no vocal coaches, _or_ rehearsals, or _warning_!" The cast immediately began to complain.

"Anywho," the host continued over the annoyed murmur, "this is the dining area, where you'll enjoy in-flight meals!" He motioned to one of the tables behind him, the seats of which seemed to be a combination of crates and trash cans.

"Did you know it was my cousin four times removed Phyllis who invented in-flight meals?" Staci immediately asked, standing at the front of the group with Sammy and Lightning. "Yah, before her people had to bring their own food on long flights."

"Umm," Sammy spoke up hesitantly, noticing the glares the other girl was getting, "you _do_ realize that this is why we voted you out first last time, right?"

Staci looked at her and blinked. "Oh, yah, but ever since then I've been researching my family's techniques so that it wouldn't happen again. I'm, like, totally not gonna lose this time thanks to what I learned."

"Did that include how to _shut up_?" Chris asked in extreme annoyance, and Staci looked taken aback by the comment. "Now zip it and let me finish the tour," the host yelled, "so we can get this bird in flight." Staci cringed sheepishly.

With the sound of carnival strength tester's puck rising up and hitting the bell, Beardo raised his hand. "Yo, is there a little dude's room around here?"

"Just through there," Chris said with a smile, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb.

"Awesome," Beardo said as he walked past. "I'll be back in a sec."

xxx

After a bit of static, the beatboxer was shown walking into a small and slightly dirty restroom through a camera behind the sink. He unzipped his pants, and only then noticed the camera. He dinged in alarm, then frowned and said "Aww man, there's a camera in here _again_? What, can't a guy," he quickly put his hands to his mouth and made a few bathroom sounds, "in peace?"

xxx

The footage cut back to Chris, his back to the camera, addressing the contestants in another open room with what looked like a clothesline hanging between two rows of overhead compartments. " _Losing_ teams will enjoy luxurious economy class accommodations between destinations," he said as the shot pulled back to show the room had no seats, only benches along the walls on both sides; it also had a small drip of water coming down on the right.

"Whoa," Geoff said with a quick glance around, "where the _beds_ at, G?"

"I've already set up a little _demonstration_ for that," Chris told him, directing everyone's attention to the right. The camera panned to follow, stopping on what looked like a balloon version of Chef Hatchet strapped to the wall. It had a sleeping mask over its eyes.

"Wow," Sierra said a blank sort of giggle, "how... _uncomfortable_."

"No comfort for losers," the host said. "Safety harnesses _and_ an emergency exit," he added with gestures to where each was located off-screen. "But! No comfort here, here, _or_ here." he pointed around the room with double finger pistols.

"I can take it," Tyler said confidently, "not that I'm gonna _lose_ of course."

"Me neither, eh!" Ezekiel declared.

"Sha- _please_ ," Lightning added with a roll of his eyes, "the only one who's gonna keep winnin' is sha-Lightning, so just show him where he's gonna be sleepin' already."

Chris gave him an annoyed look, then rolled his eyes.

/

The scene flashed to the host standing in the aisle of a much fancier room, filled with actual seats and even a meeting table; a downplayed but elegant score began to play in the background. "This," Chris said as the camera panned to the left and showed the contestants enjoying themselves, "is the first class cabin. The domain of each week's winners."

The pan stopped on Ella and Alejandro, who were standing by the last row of seats next to a mini-bar. Sugar was watching them from a seat nearby, as was Bridgette from down the aisle.

"Now _this_ is the kind of accommodation ladies deserve," Alejandro told the new girl, flashing a smile that made her blush.

"Why, thank you!' Ella said. "Although I won't mind if I don't get to stay here _all_ the time, because then at least I'll know some of _you_ will be enjoying it instead!"

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Bridgette said, walking up to the two and quickly putting an arm around Ella's shoulders and turning her aside. "You watch yourself around Alejandro, okay?" the surfer whispered. "He might _seem_ like a real Prince Charming, but he'll stab you in the back if you're not careful."

"Oh, don't worry," the princess beamed, "I'm sure I'll be fine!"

"Indeed!" Alejandro interjected as the two girls broke their huddle. "I assure you, you have _nothing_ to worry about from me."

Bridgette crossed her arms and raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. "Were you _eavesdropping_ on us?"

The charmer shrugged helplessly. "My apologies, but it wasn't _that_ hard to figure out what you were talking about."

" _Maybe_ ," the surfer admitted through pursed lips, "but I still don't trust you. And I don't want you to string poor _Ella_ along either."

The girl in question looked like she wanted to say something, but with Bridgette and Alejandro glaring on either side of her she didn't get the opportunity.

"Ella is as intelligent and mature as any of us," Alejandro countered. "She can handle herself, and doesn't need _you_ to baby her."

Bridgette clenched her teeth, then whipped around. "Fine!" she said as she walked away in a huff.

"Oh my," Ella said softly, concern in her eyes as she watched the blonde go.

The camera zoomed over to Sugar in the seat nearby, who rolled her eyes and snorted.

xxx

The season's second confessional wasn't given in the restroom, but rather in the cockpit – Chef was even visible sitting in the pilot's seat behind Sugar.

"I don't _trust_ the new girl," the pageant queen began before looking around the room. "Huh," she said blankly, "smells diff'rent in here. Prob'ly on account of it not bein' a toilet. I kinda like it."

"Well _I_ don't" Chef turned around to tell her. "I'm tryin' to prep for a flight here!"

"An' _I'm_ tryin' to make a confession," Sugar shot back with her hands on her hips, "so shut yer yap! Anyway, I don't _trust_ Ella."

"She seems pretty nice to me!" Chef said.

"That's just a _performance_ ," Sugar snapped angrily.

"Good singer, too!" the pilot added.

"No she is not!" Sugar said.

"Sounded good to me!" Chef said without turning around this time.

"Aww, forget it," the pageant queen growled, crossing her arms in frustration.

xxx

"Whoa, where are we now, eh?" Ezekiel asked as the footage cut back to him standing in awe with his back to an entertainment system. "There's a grand piano," he added as the camera quick-panned to a grand piano, "some kinda fancy oven," the shot cut to a close-up of a roaring fire in a cast iron wood-burning pizza oven, "and a pretty kickin' hot tub too!" The shot pulled back from the oven to show a large hot tub set up next to it with lights around the edge and swirling waters.

Geoff whistled as he walked up to the pool. "Sa- _weet_! Dude, you _gotta_ tell me how to win this. Me an' Bridge _love_ rockin' the hot tubs."

Chris walked up behind him with a frown on his face. "Easy, Tiger," he told the party boy. "These are _my_ quarters. And they're _off limits_ ," he said sternly as a harsh line of music played, "clear?"

"Crystal, bra," Geoff said when faced by the host's stern look.

"Oh yes," Ella chimed in, "I'm sure we'll have no trouble respecting your privacy." Chris just raised an eyebrow at her.

xxx

"Anyway," Sugar continued to rant in the bathroom confessional, "Sugar sees right _through_ the new girl's nice girl act. She's tryin' to get everyone wrapped around her little finger so they'll hand her the win, just like Al tried to do. Heck, she's _already_ got him and Bridgette, and maybe Chris too! I'm gonna be keepin' a close _eye_ on her from now on." She leaned towards the camera and spread the lids of her left eye, then leaned back to end with a stern nod, her hands firmly on her hips.

xxx

The scene cut back to the dining area, the seventeen contestants seated at or around the two tables. Scarlett was standing the furthest apart on the left, while the first table housed Dawn, Sammy, Ezekiel, and Scott across from DJ, Staci, Alejandro, and Lightning. The second table, meanwhile, had Bridgette, Sierra, Sugar, and Ella on one side; the princess standing closest to the host, unaware of the pageant queen's glare. Geoff, Beardo, Shawn, and Tyler were on the furthest right, with Shawn in particular standing a few feet away from the table.

"And that's pretty much it," Chris told the group, and as he spoke the high-pitched sound of the jet engines built up around them. "I skipped the cargo hold and galley, plus there's a few 'surprise features' in the confessionals designed to make eavesdropping harder. I'm looking at _you_ , Scarlett," the shot cut to the evil genius as she rolled her eyes.

The craft suddenly shook, knocking Dawn into Sammy. "Oh!" the smaller girl said with a sudden blush as she leaned away from the cheerleader. "I'm so sorry..."

"Don't worry," Sammy said with a smile, "it's no big deal."

"It seems we're finally moving...," Alejandro said idly.

"One more thing," Chris announced. "I'm _sure_ you remember a little something called the _elimination ceremony_?" The shot pulled back from his close-up as a few deep and dramatic notes played and he pointed off to the right. "Takes place right in there my friends!"

/

The host and cast were now standing in another open room, Chris in particular next to an exit door that was flanked by giant wooden heads. "If you don't receive a barf bag full of airline-issue peanuts," the host began to say before he was interrupted.

"My third-cousin-once-removed Pietro came up with the idea of serving peanuts on flights," Staci said at the front of the group. "Before him, people had to bring their own snacks, yah."

"You will be forced to take the Drop of Shame," Chris continued with an utterly unamused glare towards the chatterbox.

"And before him-" Staci began to add before the host grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.

"Kinda like this!" The camera cut to the outside of the jet, now taxiing down the runway. Staci was thrown from an open door near the tail, and bounced off the pavement as Chris could just be seen looking out the door.

"Hey!" she said with a frown as she stood back up. "Like, what was _that_ for?" The camera pulled back from her close-up as she began to chase after the plane. "Hey! Can you, like, slow down so I can get back in?"

"All eliminations are final!" Chris said with a cheery wave from the open door.

/

The scene cut to a world map, an airplane symbol 'flying' from northeastern Canada towards Africa. As it flew, the real jet's engines were roaring.

/

Once again, the scene cut back to the dining area. The cast were in the same seats they'd been in prior to the impromptu elimination demonstration, save that Shawn was actually sitting and Staci was, naturally, completely absent.

"Every second we're getting closer to adventure," DJ said sadly as the shot zoomed closer to him, "and _further_ from _Momma_." He slumped down onto the table as Sammy patted his arms in a comforting manner, and the camera promptly panned over to Tyler on the other side of the room.

"Man, I can't wait to find out where we're going first!" the jock said excitedly. "But wherever it is, I bet it's gonna be _awesome_ , right guys?" He looked at the contestants sitting at the table with him; Shawn and Beardo and Sugar gave him blank looks, though Ella and Sierra and Bridgette and especially Geoff were smiling in agreement.

It was then that a small musical note logo twirled onto the lower right corner of the screen, accompanied by two quick rings of a bell. The cast looked to the left, and the camera cut to Chris leaning coolly in the passageway out of the dining hall. He was wearing a dapper, if old-fashioned, suit, complete with bowler hat and baton. A short show tune played as he stood up straight, removed his hat, and struck a wide-legged pose with his feet turned inward.

"Whenever you hear that friendly little bell," he told the cast with a wag of his finger, "it's musical number time!" He raised his hat and baton into the air in another cheery pose, then stood straight again and put both items behind his back. "So!" he smiled devilishly. "Let's hear it!"

Ella's face immediately lit up. "Ooh, what would you like us to sing?"

"You have to make it up as you go," Chris explained. "Wouldn't be challenging otherwise, now would it?"

~/~

A single blaring note accompanied Ella's opening line, the princess standing and raising her left arm with dramatic flare. "Oh how I love to sing~"

"Sing~" Sugar immediately joined in with a sharp look at the new girl, mimicking Ella's pose as both girls sung the word.

"Sing~" Sierra added her voice and pose to the two before her, uncertainty on her face.

"Sing~!" Bridgette repeated with the other three girls, as uncertain as Sierra.

"Fly~" Geoff sung, mirroring his girlfriend's pose but with a smile on his face.

"Fly~" Beardo confidently added his voice to Geoff's.

"Fly~" Shawn joined in with a resigned expression.

"Fly~!" Tyler sung uncertainly as the boys repeated their line.

"We're singing!" Ella, Sugar, Sierra, and Bridgette sung, joined by anxious-looking Dawn and Sammy in the back row; all six girls rising up from between the tables.

"And flying!" Geoff, Beardo, Shawn, and Tyler added, with sneering Scott, wide-eyed Ezekiel, nervous DJ, and neutral Alejandro adding their voices in the guys' back row; all eight rose up in front of the girls.

"We're singing and flying!" the fourteen castmates sung over an aerial view of the jet as it passed over a winding river, the camera zooming in and rotating so the plane was now soaring against the sunny sky; the music made a hectic transition along with the shot.

"Come fly with us!" Ella sang in the first class seating, twirling to the same sort of grandiose sounds that had started the song intermixed with some of Beardo's beats, the shot pulling back to show the hairy boy standing a couple feet away.

"Come fly with us!" Beardo joined in as Ella repeated the phrase. The two were suddenly shoved aside by Sugar, who jumped out from behind a seat.

"My singin's the bomb, it leaves 'em all in the dust, hah!" Sugar sang, the grandiose music temporarily getting replaced by a country-sounding banjo rendition.

"Come fly with us, come fly with us!" Bridgette and Geoff sang together as they slow-danced in another part of the first class area. They leaned in to kiss, but a camera suddenly popped out behind them and flashed. The shot pulled back out to show the camera in the hands of a sly-smiling Sierra.

"We have fans now, getting gossip is a must!" she sang. A few askew notes played as the two blondes were shown blinking and rubbing their eyes.

"Uh-uh, no way Lightning's _ever_ gonna sing," the uber-jock said back in the dining hall, speaking in time with the harsh drumbeats that had taken over the music.

"Come on man, who knows? Maybe it's your thing!" Tyler told him with an imploring look as the drumbeats briefly stopped.

"I _refuse_ to debase myself for Chris!" Scarlett said forcefully to the drum beats, standing on the opposite side of the table the jocks were at with her arms firmly crossed.

"After everything that you've been through, you're giving up at this~?" Alejandro sung at her with a taunting smirk on his face, taking her hand as he stepped into the scene and twirling her around.

"Come fly with us!" DJ sang, dancing in front of the first class minibar to a more jazzy rendition of the music. On either side of him Dawn and Sammy were also dancing, but each was doing their own thing without the involvement of the others.

"Come fly with us!" the girls joined their voices with the gentle giant as a bit of turbulence shook the plane.

"You have your pilot's license, right?" Shawn asked frantically in the cockpit, clutching to the copilot's seat.

"Mostly," Chef said with a laid-back shrug, hands behind his head and legs lifted up. The music briefly cut out as the camera pulled back outside the plane; the camera rotated and zoomed back in on the rear side door as the music resumed at a slower pace.

"They might have thought they've dropped me," Staci sung, a spotlight shining on an open piece of luggage in what was presumably the cargo hold.  
"But that will never stop me; Not while I have my family in my heart!"

The music promptly resumed its former pace as the scene cut from the stowaway to a smoking wing engine.

"Come fly with us! Come _die_ with us!" Scott sang, the camera panning right after the first line to show him watching with fear out the nearest window.

"I really don't think this plane is _safe_ , eh!" Ezekiel added in spoken word, the camera panning right even further to show him also looking out a window in alarm.

"Come fly with us!" a number of voices sang together, the show tune becoming more upbeat despite the camera focusing on Scarlett and Lightning sulking back-to-back in the dining hall.

"Come sing with us!" the voices continued, the camera pulling as the four singers revealed themselves as Sierra, DJ, Shawn, and Ella.

"NO!" the evil genius and uber-jock said forcefully just as the music cut down to a simmer and the four singers ducked back down to be replaced by Chris.

"Would anyone like a copy of the season three rules?" he asked with a grin, holding up a stack of papers. "Because in order to escape instant elimination..." Chris was cut off by Bridgette as the surfer walked up behind him and snatched away the rules.

"All contestants must sing in each show!" Bridgette sang to a lighter part of the tune, her back to the glaring host.

"Lightning, dude, get your head in the game!" Tyler told his fellow jock imploringly, the music taking on a forceful tone.

"So long, Scarlett! It sure isn't a shame~" Alejandro added, still with a taunting smirk.

"You won't get rid of me _that_ easily," the brainiac muttered darkly before getting on her feet and shoving the charmer aside.

"Come fly with us, come fly with us," Scarlett sang by herself, watched by Sugar, Scott, and Alejandro on one side; Lightning, Tyler, Bridgette and Sierra on the other.  
"Before, we hit, the dust~!" she kicked a few times, then got on her knees and spread her arms as she finished her part.

"Dude, c'mon, please?" Tyler begged once more, and Lightning pursed his lips for a moment before finally opening them, closing his eyes, and spreading his arms.

"Iiiiiiiiii better wiiiiiin~!" he sang grudgingly, the camera slowly pulling back to show the majority of the cast now standing around him: Dawn and DJ and Sammy in the back row; Shawn and Alejandro and Tyler and Scott and Beardo and Scarlett in the middle row; Ella siting down, Sierra on her knees, and Sugar on one knee to stage right of Lightning in the front row; Geoff and Ezekiel on one knee and Bridgette lying half on her side to stage left.

"Yeah!" the cast minus Lightning said as one, doing jazz hands as well.

~/~

The music ended, and the camera followed the cast's gaze over to Chris, who was reading a newspaper. A ding signaled the in-flight intercom coming on, and the host looked up as Chef began to talk. "Enough singin' fruitcakes!" he said, a loudspeaker on the wall shaking with every word. "Strap yourselves in! We are now beginnin' our descent into Egypt." He continued in what sounded like an under-his-breath tone. "Musical numbers. Worst idea ever. Chris is such an idiot." The host gasped. "Hey, why's the PA light still on?" Chef asked. "Aww, sh-" A screeching feedback of the intercom turning off signaled that Chef had finally cut himself off.

"We'll be right back," Chris told the camera, his face scrunched up in annoyance.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed with the jumbo jet having already landed on a runway in the Egyptian desert, the cast assembled out front and a great stone pyramid behind them in the distance.

"You guys ready for a little fun? Huh?" Chris asked as he entered the scene dressed as a Pharaoh, sipping some cold drink and getting carried in on a leaf-shaded sedan chair by two white-skinned men in stereotypical ancient Egyptian garb. "Wow, it's a scorcher out here huh?" he added before taking a sip of his drink through a bendy straw. "I call today's challenge 'Pyramid Over-Under'!" The nearby pyramid was shown as he named the challenge.

"An eleven hour flight," Scarlett complained, "Chef's _atrocious_ cooking, that forced musical number, and now a _challenge_ as well?"

"Don't you love this game?" Chirs asked with a grin, the litter now on the ground as one of his 'servants' fanned him with the leaf.

/

The scene flashed forward to the sixteen present contestants lined up in two rows at a starting line: Ezekiel, Ella, Bridgette, Geoff, Shawn, Dawn, Lightning, and Tyler in the front; Alejandro, Beardo, Scarlett, DJ, Sammy, Sugar, Sierra, and Scott in back.

The camera cut to a close-up of Scarlett, who clearly seemed to be suffering the most in the sizzling heat. "This accursed collar is going to cook me _alive_ if we don't start soon," she muttered angrily, trying in vain to cool her neck down by waving her hands.

"Shoulda thought of _that_ before you went on a rampage last season, cheater," Beardo told her in an uncaring voice.

Scarlett stared at the hairy boy. "That statement is absolute _nonsense_ , you simpleton," she said sharply. "How on Earth could I have predicted that my actions would indirectly bring about my current situation _months_ later?" Beardo just shrugged, still without an ounce of sympathy.

Chris suddenly banged to large cymbals together, distracting Scarlett before she could retort. " _Man_!" the host said with his typical smile. "That's satisfying. Alright! 'Pyramid Over-Under' means _you_ choose how you'll get to the finish line. Either _over_ or _under_ the pyramid. Got it?" Those on the right end nodded.

"Ready!" the host shouted as the contestants got into running positions. "Set!"

"Wait up!" came the voice of Staci, causing the castmates on-screen to look behind. "Like, wait up you guys!" Staci repeated, the shot pulling back to show her running up to the starting line with a huff. Chris was shown looking annoyed as the girl came running into the close-up, saying "I, like, said I wasn't gonna lose this time, remember?"

"Didn't we leave you in, like, Halifax, or Whitehorse, or, whatever?" the host asked.

"Oh yah," Staci nodded, "but I managed to grab the landing gear and climbed up into the cargo hold."

"Impressive," Chris told her. "Buuuut, you're still out."

"What?! No I'm not!" Staci countered. "The competition hasn't, like, even _started_ yet!"

"Hey, your funeral," the host said blankly before putting his smile back on and raising the cymbals. "Set? Go!" He banged them together and the cast started running, even Staci after a moment. Many of them were shown running into the pyramid.

/

The scene flashed inside, the camera looking into a room from the doorway – various things lined either wall, and there were three doorways out the other end.

"Great!" Scott griped. "Looks like _Chris_ forgot to mention there were different paths!"

The perspective inverted, showing some of the contestants who'd chosen 'under': Beardo in front; Scott and Ezekiel and Sierra behind him on the left; DJ and Sammy and Dawn looking out from the right.

" _Obviously_ ," Scarlett spoke up from behind the group, "we're meant to choose one of the paths."

"But which one, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Hmm," Sierra tapped her chin in thought, "any _one_ of them could be right!"

"Or _all_ of them could be," Beardo added.

"Maybe those symbols mean something?" Sammy asked, pointing above the doorways. The camera promptly cut to a close-up, showing an ankh above the left door, a scarab above the middle, and a mummy above the right.

"What do you think, Dawn?" DJ asked the mystic, who had closed her eyes, pinched her fingers together, and raised a leg behind her.

"Mmmm," she hummed for a moment before opening her eyes and pointing to the left path. "I believe that way will be the safest," she declared.

"Sounds good to me," DJ said as he and Sammy followed their friend into the passageway.

"Well _I'm_ going _this_ way," Scott said, heading through the middle door – the scarab door – with Ezekiel.

/

Another flash took the scene back outside the pyramid, the camera looking up at the sun blaring high above it's peak. A pan down the side put the focus on the unlikely trio of Alejandro, Ella, and Sugar standing at the base.

"Dang, maybe I shoulda gone _under_ instead," the pageant queen said, wiping the sweat from her brow with the hand she'd been using to shield the sun.

"Do as you wish," Alejandro told her as he climbed up the first level and turned around to help Ella up. "I know _I_ will be headed over."

"Oh no," Sugar said with furrowed brow, "I ain't about to let you two go off alone together."

"Fantastic idea, Sugar!" Ella smiled. "We'd be _happy_ to have you with us."

"...then we should hurry," Alejandro said in a neutral tone as Sugar grudgingly walked over. "Lightning and Tyler are already far ahead." He looked back up the pyramid, and the camera quick-panned up the slope to show the two jocks quickly climbing.

"Sha-bam! Sha-zing! Sha-woosh!" Lightning exclaimed as he made rapid climbing strides up the stone blocks.

"Extreme!" Tyler shouted enthusiastically a couple levels behind.

/

"Just so you know," Shawn said as he tied a rope tightly around his waist, still outside the pyramid, "I'm only doing this so that if one of us falls through the roof into the clutches of the _undead_ ," the shot pulled back to show Geoff and Bridgette also tied to the rope, "the other two can pull them back up."

"Uhh, I thought there were only, like, _mummies_ in pyramids," Geoff said with a concerned look.

"Mummies are basically just _zombies_ wrapped up in bandages," Shawn said matter-of-factly as he tightened his end of the rope one last time. "I'm not sure if they're still infectious, but I _do_ know that they're cursed so we have to be careful no matter what."

Geoff and Bridgette shared a quick look. "Oh, well thanks for letting us tag along despite the risk!"

"'Shyeah," the party boy added, "we'll, like, climb this pyramid _way_ faster now!"

"Just don't make me regret it," Shawn said as the trio walked over to the first level of the structure.

/

"Wow," Sierra said as she and Beardo walked through a passageway with a slab on the wall engraved with hieroglyphics. "This place sure is spooky."

Beardo nodded, and made an eery whistle for good measure.

"Makes you think that just about _anything_ could come popping out at you," Sierra continued.

"Yeah, like some kinda mummy or somethin'," the hairy boy added.

Just then, the two came upon a large pile of bandages on the floor. They shared a nervous look, then Beardo said "Please tell me that's just some extra stuff they forgot to clean up?"

Sierra gulped. "Only one way to find out..." She cautiously toed it with her shoe...and it just collapsed a little.

/

The camera flashed back outside the to peak of the pyramid, where a sign had been set up warning of the fact that it was, quite literally, all downhill from there.

"Sha- _bam_!" the uber-jock exclaimed as he hauled himself up from behind the highest stone block, vaulting up to the top where he landed with ease and kissed his biceps. "Looks like _Lightning_ is the champion pyramid climber!"

"And _Tyler_ is coming in at second place!" the other jock said, sweating heavily as he pulled himself up to the top as well, promptly flopping over onto his belly.

/

A close-up of an odd-looking floor tile back inside was shown next, and DJ's sandaled foot was about to step down on it.

"Wait!" Dawn exclaimed as the shot rapidly pulled out to show her quickly pulling the gentle giant back as Sammy watched on with confusion on her face. "There's traps everywhere," the mystic explained to her friends. "We have to be careful!"

"Right, got it," DJ told her with a smile and a nod. He finished his step onto the odd tile without thinking, and Sammy and Dawn quickly had to force him down to the ground as several spears shot out of the walls. The girls gave him annoyed looks, and he just smiled sheepishly.

/

Meanwhile, Alejandro and Ella seemed to be making fairly good time in their climb – and the charmer had even taken to carrying the princess on his shoulder. As they got up another level, the camera panned back to the grunting form of Sugar as she hauled herself up onto the next stone block.

" _Hey_!" she shot up at Alejandro and Ella. "You two better not be thinkin' of leavin' Sugar _behind_ , okay?"

"Oh," the singer said in concern as the camera moved back to her, "we really _should_ go back and help her."

Alejandro scowled briefly, but quickly hid it with a sigh. "As you wish," he told the girl as he gently lifted her off his shoulder. He quickly jumped down a couple levels to just above the pageant queen, and offered his arm to her.

She immediately grabbed it with enough force that Alejandro had to quickly regain his balance lest he fall. "Please try to keep up," he whispered to Sugar as he pulled the girl up.

She just sniffed in disdain.

/

Scott and Ezekiel were shown next, running through the pyramid past a shelf of mummified animals – a penguin, a monkey, a dog, an octopus, and a cat judging by their shapes. The homeschooler skidded to halt and turned back to get a closer look at them, prompting Scott to do so as well out of irritation.

"Pretty neat, eh," Ezekiel said. "Musta been some pretty important pets if they got mummified."

"Fascinating," Scott said, rolling his eyes. "Now let's get out of here. And don't _touch_ anything," he quickly slapped Ezekiel's hand as it reached for the dog mummy, "I don't wanna get cursed again."

"Good call," Ezekiel said, rubbing his hand as the two boys ran off again.

/

"Didn't you say this was the _safest_ direction?" Sammy asked as the scene flashed over to her sidling along a wall, Dawn ahead and DJ behind.

"It is, if we take things _carefully_ ," the mystic added with a pointed look at DJ that earned another sheepish grin from the boy. "Traps are _much_ easier to deal with than the dark energies that lie down the other paths."

"Dark energies?" DJ squeaked in fear.

"Oh, I'm sure the others will be fine," Dawn said reassuringly. "They didn't _seem_ too unlucky today."

DJ and Sammy shared a nervous look.

/

Another flash moved the focus to a close-up of a mummy icon at the top of a doorway, the camera panning down to show Scarlett walking with her hands clamped down over her ears as Staci followed along behind her.

"...and so that's how my great-great-great-Grandfather Hector discovered his seventh lost tomb!" the chatterbox said.

"I don't care!" Scarlett replied in the tone of one who was growing incredibly tired of saying the same thing over and over.

"Well I just thought it was an interesting story," Staci huffed, "you don't have to, like, bite my head off."

"Don't tempt me," Scarlett told her before noticing a small button on the wall ahead of them. She quickly looked over the hieroglyphics next to it, then smiled. As she and Staci walked closer, she pressed the button, then darted forward with a cackle.

"Hey, don't leave me-" Staci began to say, lingering behind just long enough for a pile of bandages to drop onto her from the ceiling, along with an ornate-looking ankh and crook.

/

"Hmm," Shawn tapped his chin in thought, now standing at the peak of the pyramid with Geoff and Bridgette. "This steep slope is gonna give us some trouble."

"There's gotta be _some_ way of makin' it easy," Geoff added, scratching his forehead.

Bridgette looked over at the warning sign and smiled. "I'm a surfer!" she said in realization, grabbing the signing and trying to pry it loose. "I can _surf_!"

"Boo yah!" Geoff told her with a grin as he helped her get the sign. "Looks like surf's up for the three of us, dudes!" The two blondes easily snapped the sign out of the rock, and Shawn shrugged in acceptance as they maneuvered it into surfing position.

/

The next flash took the scene to a different location outside of the pyramid – the exit. Scott and Ezekiel were the first two to make it out, running and panting all the way to the finish line where Chris was waiting for them.

"Good work guys!" he told them as they stopped to catch their breath.

"Wait, are we in first?" Scott asked in a suspicious tone.

"Yo, I think we are!" Ezekiel cheered, raising his fists into the air.

"Go stand behind the number one," Chris told them, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb.

"Aww yeah homie," Ezekiel said, high fiving Scott as the two boys started walking again, "Scott and Zeke are kickin' it at the _top_." The camera cut back to the host, who shook his head and rolled his eyes.

/

Back inside the pyramid, Sierra and Beardo were shown running from something – the girl screaming, the boy making sounds like a terrified racecar. They were followed by an ominous shadow on the wall that was soon revealed to be cast by what looked at first glance to be a hopping and heavily-bandaged mummy.

As soon as it got to the center of the screen it paused, wriggled a bit, and finally stuck an arm out to clear away the wrappings around its mouth.

"Guys, wait!" the voice of Staci said while uncovering more of her head. "It's just me! And I'm totally not a mummy, okay? I'm just looking for Scarlett!" The camera moved in for a close-up as she paused, the hope in her eyes fading as rapidly as the sounds of Beardo and Sierra's fleeing.

"...Guys?" Staci called again with much more uncertainty in her voice.

/

The background music became a little faster paced as the scene cut to Scarlett as she ran down a passageway, stopping at every doorway to look inside. "No...no... _no_!" she said at each successive one, finally stopping at the third one to growl in frustration and pound her fist on the stone wall.

"How am I supposed to free myself of this blasted _collar_ if I don't have any _tools_?" she said to herself, tugging a little at the metal ring around her neck. "I _know_ the ancient Egyptians were inventive, there has to be _something_ I can use to disrupt the circuit!" She began to run again, still pausing now and then to check through doors. "A chisel, a knife, a pair of _tongs_ , anything!"

The camera zoomed in on her foot as she stepped on an unusual floor tile, causing the room to shake. She immediately stopped and looked around, her eyes going wide as countless beetles began to pour into the room. "Except scarab beetles!" she exclaimed as she began to run from the swarm of insects.

/

Back outside, the music took a glorious turn as Lightning sprung down the steps of the pyramid. "Oh yeah," he said upon reaching the bottom, "who's the man? Oh wait! Lightning already knows!"

A series of grunts and thuds got hit attention, and the camera followed his gaze backwards to show Tyler tumbling down the pyramid in a rather painful and uncontrolled manner. He finally landed in the sand, groaned and weakly raised a thumbs-up. "Were you behind Lightning the whole time?" the uber-jock asked as he helped his fellow athlete up. He noted Tyler's woozy expression, then shrugged. "Whatever. Lightning woulda been ahead anyhow."

"You didn't beat _us_ ," Scott told him as Chris motioned for Lightning and Tyler to join the other boys.

"Only 'cause you two went _under_ ," the overachiever said with a scowl. "Lightning still beat everyone who went over!"

"Not by much, dudes!" Geoff's excited voice caught everyone's attention, directing the camera back to the side of the pyramid where Bridgette, Geoff, and Shawn were surfing down the slope perched somewhat precariously on top of the warning sign. They cheered as they slid onto the sand, then quickly untied the rope connecting them. They made a beeline for the four who'd already arrived, but only Geoff got past Chris.

" _Not_ so fast!" the host told the other two, sticking an arm out to stop them. "This season, _three_ teams!" He held up a trio of fingers, then put an arm around the shoulders of the surfer and survivalist. "Geoff rounds out Team One. Bridgette and Shawn, you're the first members of Team Two!"

"Wait, really?" Bridgette asked, giving her boyfriend a concerned look.

"Bummer," Geoff said sadly.

"If it's any consolation," Chris told the girl, "you also get...," he motioned to the side, the shot cutting to the pyramid's exit. A sharp and thrilling melody played as Sierra and Beardo ran screaming out the structure all the way to the finish line.

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing," Shawn said hesitantly," or a _bad_ thing."

xxx

"Not that I have anything against the two," Shawn clarified in the restroom confessional, "it's just that running screaming out of a pyramid is _usually_ a bad sign. For all I know, they've been _cursed_!"

xxx

Back at the pyramid's exit, the trio of DJ, Sammy, and Dawn were the next to emerge to another round of triumphant music.

"Finally we're outta there!" DJ said in relief as they ran towards the finish line.

"Yeah, I almost thought we were _goners_ for a few seconds," Sammy added with a small smile.

"Fortunately that was not the case," Dawn said as the trio reached the finish line.

"Best team ever, am I right?" the gentle giant said, pulling the two girls into a group hug.

"Oh my..." Dawn said with a sudden blush that the others missed.

"Aaaaand hug's over," Chris announced, the background music stopping abruptly. "DJ, get behind the number two." The gentle giant frowned, but went to join the foursome who greeted him with smiles and waves. "Samey and Dawn, you'll be on Team Three."

"Guess we're being split up again," Sammy told her boyfriend.

"I'm sure things will work out for u-I mean, for you and DJ," Dawn said, giving the cheerleader a comforting pat on the shoulder. "You got through last season just fine on different teams."

Sammy smiled. "Right. Now who's left?" she looked around the assembled contestants with a puzzled look on her face.

The scene immediately cut to the top of the pyramid where Alejandro was grudgingly pulling Sugar up to the highest block where Ella was already standing with a concerned expression.

"Should I assume you'll need my assistance in going _down_ , as well?" Alejandro said bitterly.

" _No_ ," Sugar told him sharply as she quickly brushed herself off, "I can do _that_ by myself thank-you-very-much."

"Oh _kiii~iids_!" Chris called up to them through a megaphone, and a familiar set of dings played. "Recognize that sound?" the host asked as the shot moved down to him. "Time for whoever's not finished yet to give us a little musical reprise!"

"I thought you said _one_ song per episode!" Alejandro called back down in confusion.

"Yeah," Chris told him, "and this is a _reprise,_ not a new song! So if you don't sing, you're out! So let's hear it!"

~/~

The three at the top of the pyramid shrugged at one another, and the same grand musical score that had been used for the earlier musical number began to play again.

"Come climb with us, come climb with us!" Ella sang happily as she elegantly leaped down two levels of the pyramid.

"The sun may be hot, but the rules say we must," Alejandro joined in as the camera moved back to him looking up at the sky with a hand shielding his eyes. He started his own descent as well, and the camera moved back to Ella who was still happily leaping from one level to the next.

"Come climb with us, come climb with us!" the princess repeated.

"What I sure wouldn't give for a bus," Sugar added, the camera panning to her slowly climbing down backwards.

A quick-pan moved the camera inside to Scarlett running through a passageway.

"Please someone tell me that that isn't what I think," she said despairingly to the harsh drum beats.

"Sure! And also, these wrappings really stink!" the voice of Staci added suddenly as a chute opened up in the ceiling and she dropped out in from of the evil genius, still mostly covered in mummy bandages.

"Gah!" Scarlett said, recoiling in shock. The grand music then resumed as the camera quick-panned back up to Sugar.

"Come climb with us, come trip with us!" the pageant queen sung as she lost her balance and fell backwards, quickly colliding with both Alejandro and Ella. The music seemed to skip a little, then resumed at a faster pace as the shot panned down to Scarlett and Staci once more.

"Come run with us, don't _fall_ on us!" the brainiac sang loudly and with great annoyance. The camera panned ahead down the corridor to show the exit a little ways away, then cut outside just as the two girls emerged...and Sugar, Alejandro, and Ella tumbled down onto them.

"'Cause laaaanding reeeeally suuuuucks!" Staci sung from the bottom of the heap.

"Yeah!" the five finished weakly, even including jazz hands.

~/~

The camera immediately panned over to Chris, who was clapping enthusiastically. "Great work!" he told them. "I loved it!"

"Gracias," Alejandro said bitterly as he and the others finally made their way to the finish line.

"Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, and Scarlett, you guys round out Team Three," Chris said, ignoring the glares from the latter two girls and gesturing over at Sammy and Dawn, who were shown watching with rather blank expressions.

xxx

"Well _this_ is sure to be an infuriating and tedious team," Scarlett complained in the restroom confessional. "Three of them are no more than ants, but Alejandro and Dawn will almost certainly make my life difficult. Well," she conceded, "more difficult than it already _is_ anyway." She tapped at her collar, and was promptly shocked.

xxx

"And that's about it I'd say," Chris said with a look of finality, pointedly ignoring Staci who was standing a couple feet away removing the bandages she'd gotten stuck in.

"Hey!" she said with a frown. "Aren't you forgetting me? I totally did everything like everyone else did, you _gotta_ let me back in the game!"

Chris sighed in annoyance. " _Fine_ , but only so you _shut up_ about it. Go ahead and join Team One."

Staci grinned. "Oh yah, thanks so much!" she said, eagerly tearing off the rest of the wrappings.

The viewpoint shifted to show the three teams standing in an arc around the host – Geoff, Tyler, Lightning, Scott, and Ezekiel on the left with Staci walking towards them; DJ, Shawn, Bridgette, Beardo, and Sierra on the right; Scarlett, Dawn, Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, and Sugar further back on the right.

"Okay teams," Chris said, "talk amongst yourselves and determine a team name. You have _three_ minutes," he held up the same number of fingers, "while I enjoy this ice cram cone," he held up said treat.

"Team Victory!" the six members of the former Team One cheered as one, the camera cutting to the yellowish sky above them as a circular logo spun into the screen with a ding; it depicted a yellow cup-style trophy.

"Team Universe!" the other group of six, formerly Team Three, announced, raising their hands together in the air. Another ding accompanied the appearance of their new logo, a blue spiral galaxy.

The third team seemed to be having trouble coming to a decision, the camera panning across the five as they muttered things like "Team Zombie Killers," "Team Fluffy Bunny," "The Awesomers," and "We're not getting anywhere!" Finally, the shot came to a rest on Sierra who seemed to be deep in thought.

"Got it!" she finally announced with a smile. "Team Chris is Really Really Really Really _Mean_."

" _What_?" her teammates chorused as their logo appeared: Chris McLean's face, colored red to suit his evil smirk and devil horns.

"All right!" the host told them with his usual smile. "I woulda preferred ' _Hot_ ' over ' _Mean_ ', but it's still the best name of the three. And here are your rewards," he added, gesturing to the side. "Team Universe," he pointed back at the off-screen team, "you win a camel!" He pointed back to the other side, and the camera cut to a camel and a goat standing on a wooden platform nearby.

Ella clapped happily, while Alejandro and Scarlett looked annoyed, Sammy and Sugar looked confused, and Dawn just looked calm.

"Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Really _Mean_ ," the host continued.

"I'm pretty sure there's only _four_ 'Really's," Shawn interjected.

"You win a goat!" Chris said without acknowledging the comment. The goat immediately rushed over to the team, forcing DJ and Beardo to step aside to avoid getting headbutted.

"And Team Victory, here ya go!" Chris finished, holding up a forked stick.

"Wait, if the guys who came in last got a camel," Tyler asked in confusion, "how come _we_ only get a stick?"

"All will be explained," the host said as the series' capstone theme started up, " _if_ I feel like it. Next time!" he pointed at the camera. "Right here! On Total!" the shot pulled back a little to show Shawn and Bridgette giving the goat uncertain looks. "Drama!" the next zoom-out included DJ, Beardo, and the camel. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" he sang the final two words, the entire cast now included in the shot along with the setting sun and a smaller pyramid in the background.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

So, there we go. The introduction of Tyler and Ella along with the reintroduction of the others, particularly the four who missed out on season two, are something I'm really hoping I got right. The newbies have their own quirks and difficulties with respect to their role in this season compared to their role in canon, while the others I'm just hoping I've kept consistent.

The songs...well, I hope that at the very least they weren't cringeworthy to read. I went with a 'Shuffled' version of canon's first song here just to start the season out with a bit of familiarity, though most of the songs won't have any connection to their canon counterparts. Incidentally, the titles for this episode's songs are _'Come Fly With Us (Shuffled version)'_ and its reprise, _'Come Climb With Us'_. Regarding the formatting, the '~/~' used to separate them was something I kinda came up with last second, and I'm still not sure how well it or the overall writing format of the musical numbers is gonna work.

The first challenge was pretty easy, since most of the groups were pretty obvious. Beardo and Sierra were basically leftovers that didn't really have any obvious partners in the cast, which is why they went together. Though the routes and obstacles were the same as in canon, the overall outcome is different - noticeably, nobody got cursed and nobody ended up quitting.

For the teams, I knew from the start that I didn't want to keep thing the same as canon. As such, only one team name was reused - but with Lightning in Team One, 'Victory' was an obvious choice. The naming of Team Two, though by Sierra as it was in canon, reflects the fact that this is her third season on the show instead of her first, so she's not as warm towards Chris as she used to be. And as for Team Universe...well, that name means something different to each of them, and overall I felt it was a better fir than 'Team Amazon'.

I will admit that, with my current plan for the season, there is at least one glaring problem with the teams as they are now that I haven't yet been able to fix to my satisfaction. It won't matter until much later on, though, so there's still time to rework things a bit even if I can't really change the teams themselves.

It hasn't come up yet, but I'll also be covering the post-elimination 'Drop of Shame' videos for each episode that has an actual elimination.

One last announcement before I wrap things up: for those who follow it, Total Drama Rebirth will almost certainly be updated some time tomorrow. For those who haven't yet, feel free to check out my other story.

Until next week, I look forward to your reviews!

\- Fangren


	2. Chapter 2 - Walk Like an Egyptian, part2

**Author's Note**

Here we are, the second week of Total Shuffled World Tour - and the second part of its premiere. The series as a whole has been fun to write so far, though admittedly the song for episode three had me stumped for a while before I finally figured out what I wanted to do with it. Still, the fact that it didn't end up delaying progress on the next episode is a good omen for what's to come, since I haven't figured out most of the songs yet.

But that, of course, doesn't quite matter yet. Right now I have a horde of reviews to answer - the first of many, no doubt.

 **chainedforce:** Thank you so much! I was really worried about how I was handling both the two newbies, and especially the songs. It's good to know I've done well so far, and with luck I'll be able to keep up the musical quality when it comes to my more original songs.

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** Haha, good to hear it. Although you shouldn't get your hopes up about Amy replacing Blaineley.

 **Guest #1:** lol nope. Missed it by two.

 **lordkalel:** I'm happy to feel that way. As for what plans I have in store for Staci and Scarlett...well, you'll just have to wait and see.

 **Boggie445:** Yup, and you'd better get used to it because I'm not about to force myself to churn these episodes out faster.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Thanks! And yeah, the reprise was an obvious addition since I really didn't want anybody quitting in the first episode. And with Lightning around, I honestly couldn't pass up the name of Team Victory.

 **DSX62415:** Oho, first predictions eh? Well, you'll find out in time whether you're right or wrong.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Uhh, pretty sure I've been hinting at Dawn's feeling for her friends since season one. That aside, thanks for complimenting the first episode's songs!

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks as always!

 **ashDanLand:** Haha, I can only hope you feel the same way at the end of this story.

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, I'm definitely gonna do my best to fix some of the mistakes of canon. Although I'm sad to hear that you didn't like my version of 'Come Fly With Us' - with such a different cast, I really saw no reason to keep the song the same as its canon version. Always good to hear your opinions of the characters, though, even if I disagree with some of them.

 **StarHeart Specials:** Thanks! As for the origins of 'Team Universe', I knew I didn't want to reuse 'Team Amazon' and universe just seemed like a word that most of that team could get behind. Though what exactly it means to them varies...

 **FOWLKON:** I'm glad you're so excited. As for what may or may not become of Staci...well, you'll have to wait and see.

 **Zak Saturday:** Thanks, I'm glad you like it!

 **Nickie Mudkip:** Oho, interesting predictions all around. I always enjoy seeing what people think will happen, even when it's a long way off.

 **Karts of Sugar Rush:** I'm glad you liked it! The returning recurring gag out of those three...is still changed quite a bit, so don't expect to identify it right away. And actually, Team Universe's name has nothing to do with that show, though I am quite a fan. Oh, and if anything, shuffled!Team Victory is more the counterpart of canon!Team Chris, which also had only one girl (first Sierra, then Izzy) on a team of boys. Also, I'm glad you liked the first song and its reprise - and I hope that you like this episode's songs, since they're a tad more original.

 **Anonymous:** Good to hear from a long time fan! And interesting predictions, as I always tell my reviewers. Oh, and about the trilogy comment, I just meant that it was the end of the I-A-WT trilogy - I'm still gonna do RotI, AS, and PI.

 **bruno14:** Hello! I'm glad you're enjoying the new season so far, especially the relationships revolving around Ella and Tyler. I'm also happy you like Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean. As for who gets eliminated first...well, read on and find out!

 **insertnamehere21:** Thanks! As for how Chris can roll his eyes...well, I'm pretty sure he manages it in canon. Maybe the black spots are really his pupils, and the 'whites' are skin-color for some reason? Oh, and technically Owen's canon stereotype is 'The Party Guy', while Geoff's is 'The Funniest Guy Around'. But Geoff's doesn't really suit him, so I decided to change it way back in season one. I might also change Owen's when he finally debuts.

 **Ddynamo:** Ohoho, thinking about All-Stars already? Well, I'll tell you now that your hero-villain balance is off in your prediction - it has to be balanced, and with most of the canon villains in the first gen cast there's not many left to pick from for the second gen cast. Other than that, interesting predictions for this season - I'm looking forward to seeing how those may or may not change as the season progresses.

 **Identification:** Thanks! I'm glad you like the direction I've decided to take Sierra in, and I hope the new elimination/reward schedule is to your tastes as well.

 **Joel Connell:** Ah, right, that...I kinda forgot about that to be honest. Umm...let's just say they settled out of court for now, and that Alejandro ended up getting some money out of it but not a whole lot.

 **Knifez:** Thanks! For reminding me to add the image as well. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this chapter.

 **Star Saber21:** I'm glad you like the changes that have been made so far! The rivalry between Sugar and Ella...even I don't know exactly how it'll turn out yet. And as for the separated couples...well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to stir up the drama in the cast.

 **BuckJohnson:** Believe me, I'm nervous too! The first two seasons are gonna be a lot to live up to, and so is the canon version of World Tour. Interesting predictions, of course, and I will say that I'm definitely gonna do my best with respect to Ezekiel's character. I don't have all the details planned yet, but I think it's time he, at least, got his character explored.

 **wifishark:** Thanks! As for what happens next...you're about to find out!

Phew! That's over and done with, at least for this week. All that's left right now is to remind you folks of who's on what team right now.

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Lightning, Tyler, Geoff, Staci

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Bridgette, Shawn, Beardo, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Dawn, Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

The race through the Egyptian desert is about to begin, folks! So sit back, watch out for scarabs, and enjoy.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode Two – Walk Like an Egyptian, Part Two**

"Let's take a few moments to review some of the features of our aircraft!" Chris opened from the Total Drama Jumbo Jet's first class seating area as the standard capstone theme for the series began to play. "Safety is our number one priority," he continued as the recap scenes began, starting with a panel falling off the side of the plane and a rat and raccoon chasing away from it. It was followed by the inflatable Chef Hatchet balloon demonstrating the sleeping procedure in loser class as the host added "So please, remain seated with your seatbelt fastened at all times."

"The plane has one exit," Chris continued over the clip of him forcibly throwing Staci out the back of the jet, "located, _here_. As we explore exotic destinations," Scott slapped Ezekiel's hand away from some mummified animals, then Beardo and Sierra ran screaming out of the pyramid; "take time to _familiarize_ yourself with the local architecture." Scarlett purposely pressed a button that dropped a load of old bandages onto Staci, then Dawn and Sammy pounced on DJ to get him out of the way of several spears shooting out of the wall behind them.

"The world is our playground," the host said over a clip of Tyler falling face-first down the far slope of the pyramid. "But remember, refusal to sing will lead to _immediate_ disqualification," Scarlett and Lightning's reluctance to sing during the show's first musical number was shown next. "When dividing into teams," Team Victory and Team Universe were shown announcing their names, "be sure to give your crew a catchy handle," while Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean had to dodge the goat they'd won.

"Upon arrival at our _final_ destination, one lucky competitor _will_ receive a parting gift to remember." The recap footage was replaced by a series of passports appearing on the screen a few at a time, each belonging to one of the contestants – Dawn and Sammy and Alejandro and Sugar; then Ella and Scarlett and DJ; then Shawn and Bridgette and Beardo; then Sierra and Geoff and Scott; and finally Ezekiel and Lightning and Tyler and Staci. "One! Million! _Dol-lars_!" the host announced excitedly over a picture of some kind of cart overflowing with cash.

"So _stow_ that carry-on baggage and _lock_ those tray-tables in the upright position," Chris said as the camera cut back to him in first class, "we're taking off for one _crazy_ ride!" The scene flashed to somewhere outside as the host rushed back into view. "Right here, right now, on Total!" a blaring note played as the shot pulled back to show a bit of the desert airstrip. "Drama!" the blaring note repeated as the nose of the plane was shown. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" the final two words were sung, and both jumbo jet and the nearby pyramids were shown in full.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

Some distant bird was whistling as the scene faded in to the harsh desert sun, the camera promptly panning down to the three team standing below a tall checkered starting banner. To the left were the six members of Team Victory – Lightning, Geoff, Tyler, Ezekiel, Scott, and Staci. In the middle, Team Universe – Scarlett, Alejandro, Dawn, Sammy, Ella, and Sugar. And on the right, Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean – Bridgette, DJ, Beardo, Shawn, and Sierra. Each group stood before a round mat in their team's main color, upon which the reward they'd won last episode sat – the stick on gold, the camel on blue, the goat on red.

"Why'd we get blue anyways?" Sugar asked with a frown. "Ain't it a boy color?" She shot a pointed look at Alejandro, who shrugged helplessly.

"Well Team Victory's color suits it," Lightning spoke up. "Gold _is_ the sha-color of winners, after all."

"Yup!" Ezekiel nodded in agreement.

"I don't see why it matters, to be honest," Shawn said, glancing down his team's mat. "It's not like the colors _actually_ mean anything."

"True," Sierra said thoughtfully. "I mean, maybe if one of the colors was Chris' _favorite_ it might be different, but his favorite color is black."

"That makes sense," Beardo said with a smirk. "Same color as his cold, cold heart."

"Man, I don't care _what_ color we are," Tyler spoke up enthusiastically, "Team Victory is gonna win this!"

"Sha-got that right, New Guy!" Lightning said. "With Lightning on the team, those others don't got a _chance_!"

"Yeah, because you're _totally_ good at this game," Scott said snidely.

"He's better than _your_ sorry butt," the uber-jock shot back.

"Chill, dudes," Geoff said, quickly getting between the two. "We're teammates! We're in this together!" He stopped there, and his lips began to quiver. "Too bad _Bridge_ isn't with us..." he cried sadly into his arm, earning odd looks from his teammates.

The camera quick-panned over to the girl in question, who sighed sadly as well. "I can't believe I actually have to compete _against_ Geoff!" she lamented.

"Don't worry," DJ gave her a reassuring smile, "it won't be that bad. Trust me, you'll get through this just fine."

"I hope so," Bridgette said.

"Me too," Sierra added. "Gidgette is like the number two Total Drama couple right now, the fans will be _devastated_ if you break up."

Though the surfer looked mildly disturbed by that, it was Beardo who spoke up next. "So who's the number _one_ couple?" he asked with a curious look.

Sierra opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by the sudden sound of cymbals clanging together. The shot cut behind the contestants to wear Chris, Chef, and a pair of white male interns were. All four men were dressed in stereotypical ancient Egyptian costumes, with Chris and Chef looking to be of higher class. Chris himself was using one of the interns as a seat to eat grapes on, while the other intern fanned him with a leaf; Chef was the cause of the cymbals clanging, the large instruments still in his hands.

"Mmm, don't know about you guys," Chris said while enjoying his treatment, "but I am _loving_ Egypt." He tossed another grape into his mouth. "And I'm gonna love it even more watching _you_ enjoy your second challenge: The _Amazing_ Camel Race!"

"Uhh, where are the _other_ camels?" Shawn asked hesitantly, the lone beast won by Team Universe shown briefly.

"There are no other camels!" Chris said in annoyance. "It's a Ca _mel_ Race, not a Ca _mels_ Race!"

"Excellent!" Alejandro said happily.

"Say _what_?" DJ added, his team's goat bleating angrily along with him.

"Sha-Lightning's team won last time!" the uber-jock protested. "So how come _we_ get stuck with a stick, while they get a goat," he gestured towards Team Chris, then Team Universe, "and the _losers_ get the camel?!"

"Each reward has its advantages," the host explained. " _trust me_. You'll be racing towards the world's most _infamous_ waterway," he continued over a shot of Team Victory, "the Nile!" The camera panned over to Team Universe, and then to Team Chris. "Teams must brings their rewards all the way to the finish. You have sixty seconds to strategize!"

The camera cut to a close-up of the camel before quickly pulling out to show the six members of Team Universe approaching it. "Now remember ladies," Alejandro advised before any of them could start climbing, "even though our camel is strong, there's six of us so we'll have to distribute our weight effectively to keep it from getting too stressed."

"Well _obviously_ ," Scarlett said as Team Universe's blue spiral galaxy logo appeared in the upper-right corner of the screen. "But on the same note the equations are so simple I've already solved them for the most optimal arrangement."

"Oh really?" Alejandro challenged. "Then what do _you_ suggest?"

"Taking into account each of our approximate weights, as well as the camel's center of mass," Scarlett began to say.

"Hurry up and get on already!" Sugar yelled at the two, the camera shifting to show that she was already perched on top the animal's hump, while Sammy and Dawn were sitting close together on the camel's neck. "It's just a camel, ya don't need _math_ to figure out how to ride it."

"Sorry," Ella apologized as she too climbed aboard, taking her spot behind Sugar on the slope of the camel's back, "but I'm afraid we should probably hurry things along."

Alejandro sighed. "Very well, I see your point. And at any rate," he began to walk towards the camel, "you've all managed to arrange yourselves properly." He quickly hauled himself up, taking a spot between Sugar and Sammy on the animal's shoulders. "You coming?" he asked Scarlett.

"Yes," the evil genius muttered dryly, "although I can already tell I won't enjoy it. And least of all because of the _seat_ I've been relegated to."

xxx

"Oh, Scarlett," Alejandro began in the restroom confessional, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "You make this too easy! Although I _won't_ make the same mistake of underestimating you as I have in the past."

xxx

The footage cut back to the view looking up into Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean's huddle, their red logo of the host's devil-horned face appearing in the center. "So, anybody have any ideas?" Bridgette asked. Nobody said anything for a moment, then Beardo made the sound of crickets chirping. "Come on, there's gotta be _something_!" the surfer told her teammates.

"I guess we could try to just pile on the goat," Shawn suggested, "though it'd take a _genius_ to keep us all balanced."

"Besides, wouldn't that just crush the poor goat?" DJ said.

"Nah, I think goats are pretty strong," Sierra spoke up.

xxx

"On paper," Sierra began her own confessional, "we've got a pretty good team. Shawn and Bridgette were finalists in season one," she ticked off two fingers, "though they didn't do so well in season two...but DJ has gotten far _both_ times. Beardo's got useful a pretty useful talent, and as for _me_?" She giggled for a moment. "Well, since I know so much about everyone, I guess I'm the _brains_ of Team Chris."

xxx

"So with all the jocks on my team," Scott told the confessional camera, leaning back on the toilet, "it falls to _me_ to be the brains of the operation. Not that I'm complaining," he smirked darkly. "This'll just make my new _strategy_ even better."

xxx

"So, like, what are we even supposed to _do_ with this?" Geoff asked, scratching his head as he held up the forked stick they'd won.

""Doesn't matter," Scott said as the yellow trophy that was Team Victory's logo spun into the upper-left corner of the screen. "Unless it can _fly_ , it's not gonna help us beat the other teams."

"Oh, my great-great-Auntie Helen had a flying stick once," Staci spoke up. "Although she never told anybody its secret. Yah, she didn't want it to fall in to the wrong hands."

"That sounds made-up," Tyler said with a confused sort of bluntness.

"What a surprise," Scott said.

"Well if we can't ride this thing," Lightning said, swiping the stick away from Geoff, "then that just means we're gonna have to run. And that's sha- _easy_."

"Speak for yourself, eh," Ezekiel said as he fanned his sweaty face with his hand.

xxx

"Yo, these clothes aren't really good for the desert, eh," Ezekiel confessed in the restroom, taking off his toque and wringing out the sweat. "But on the bright side, at least I'm gonna be keepin' in shape."

xxx

"Okay, just hold still a _little_ bit longer," Sierra said over a close-up of her right hand pressing down hard on DJ's head, then Beardo groaning in pain as the girl's left foot stepped off his stomach. "Almost...there...," she said while accidentally kneeing Shawn in the chest and stepping on Bridgette's hand, " _done_!"

Upon her declaration, the camera zoomed out to show the human pyramid that Team Chris had formed on top of their goat. Sierra was on top standing on the shoulders of Bridgette and Shawn, who in turn were sitting on the shoulders of Beardo and DJ. At the bottom, the goat gave a pained bleat as the five humans swayed and wobbled.

"Are you sure?" Bridgette asked in growing alarm.

"Uh-huh!" Sierra nodded as the stack stopped moving, and even the goat smiled in relief. " _Told_ you I could do it," she said snottily before the group suddenly became unbalanced again, the five humans crying in alarm as they started to sway.

And then, just as quickly, they became still again. "Okay, _now_ I'm sure," Sierra said with a hesitant frown.

"I hope so," Shawn said looking up at her, "because I really don't think we'll have another chance if we _fall_."

xxx

"I guess I shouldn't judge her since I came up with the idea in the first place," Shawn confessed, taking his turn in front of the cockpit's camera. "But still, I'm not really _keen_ on the idea of traveling by human pyramid. What if we stumble upon a bunch of zombies and I can't escape because I'm trapped between DJ and Sierra?"

"Why would there be a bunch zombies just wanderin' around the desert?" Chef turned his head back to ask.

"Are you _kidding_ , this climate is like _perfect_ for preserving dead bodies! There could be zombies out here that are thousands of years old!" Shawn answered, earning a shrug from Chef as he resumed his pilot work.

xxx

"A'ight," Chris told the cast, "Nile's _thataway_." He pointed with both hands off into the distance, then used one to shield the sun from his eyes. "Kinda big, blue, and watery," the perspective changed to show the sun over a vast expanse of sand, "can't miss it. Or I guess you can," the host added as the camera panned back across the group – Chef next to a large urn, Chris standing on top his intern seat, and the three teams waiting by the starting line. "But then you'll die. Prob'ly get killed by the local scarab beetles. It's mating season and they get all... _killy_...when they're in heat."

"What's the big deal?" Lightning scoffed. "It's just a bunch of sha- _bugs_."

"I'll tell them you said that," Chris said with a smile as he motioned to Chef, who promptly pushed over the large vase. A swarm of small black beetles immediately crawled out of it, and a few dramatic notes played as they quickly made their way across the sands. The intern Chris was standing on gasped and bit his lip as the scarabs started crawling up him, then both Lightning and the rest of Team Victory were shown recoiling and dancing in fear of the beetles that were surrounding them, with Tyler in particular giving off a high-pitched scream. A quick-pan showed all the members of Team Universe except Dawn to be screaming, as was the swaying stack of Team Chris.

The host laughed. He was standing safe on top the skeleton of the former intern, while Chef was standing on the overturned vase; the scarabs seemed to have moved on from them entirely, however.

"The stick!" Geoff said in a panic, picking up his team's reward and brandishing it like a weapon. He tried to wave it around at the scarabs that were surrounding him, but to no effect. "It's not working, dudes, what do we do?!"

The scene cut back to Chris and Chef as a pair of dings accompanied the appearance of a circular music note logo in the top-right corner of the screen. "Ooh, time for a song!" the host announced excitedly. "Think of it as a mini-challenge," he continued as the rest of Team Victory was shown – Scott standing on top of Ezekiel; Staci in Lightning's arms and Tyler on his back. "Music can _soothe_ the savage meat-seeking scarab, so, make up a good song and maybe they won't kill ya. Or don't," the shot cut to Team Universe on their camel, "and get disqualified."

"Wonderful!" Ella said happily while her teammates groaned.

~/~

The pyramid took over the scene as a slow love song started playing, accompanied by Beardo beatboxing at a similarly slow tempo. The hairy boy slid into view in front of the pyramid, then Geoff, DJ, and Alejandro slid in front of him, snapping their fingers to the beat as the scene behind them turned black. The beetles were shown crawling along the ground in columns, the camera panning back up to show the four boys lined up and doing there things.

"Oh dear scarabs, what'cha doin'? Chasin' after us~?" Ella opened the song with an unexpected deepness in her voice as she rose into view in front of the boys.

"Don'cha know that it's that time again," Alejandro and DJ and Geoff sang together as Ella sunk back down out of sight.

"Ain't no need to make such a fuss!" Sugar added next, rising up to take Ella's place. A few scarabs started to crawl up her, but she brushed them away.

Three rows of scarabs took over the screen, the middle one heading right while the other two went left.

"Can't you feel the season calling?" Dawn and Sammy sang, scrolling down from the top left in an inset scene.

"That desire to make lots of eggs," Scarlett added, a close-up of her moving two beetles close together with her hands scrolling in from the right.

"Who needs eating when you could be crawling?" Geoff and Bridgette sang together, the party boy's inset scrolling up on the left while the surfer's scrolled down on the right.

"To a special someone on six _sexy_ legs," Sierra finished the verse with a sly and knowing look on her face, walking in on her inset from the left. The current scene dissolved into a close-up of a single pair of scarabs as every contestant appeared in a ring around the screen.

"So don't mind us, 'cause there's love in the air!" they sang as the two scarabs pictured formed heart-shapes with their antennae and nuzzled one another.  
"Ohh~, ohh~!" the trio of Sammy, Dawn, and Scarlett added as they and the rest of the cast moved back out of sight.

"Yeah don't mind us," Sierra sang as the scene quickly zoomed out to show her walking cautiously away from several pairs of beetles.  
"We'll just be over there!" Bridgette added, following behind Sierra with the rest of their team.

"Yeah don't mind us, we'll be gone before ya know!" Shawn and Beardo sang at the tail end of their team.  
"Ohh~, ohh~!" Sammy, Dawn, and Scarlett repeated, the camera panning over to show the trio moving their arms in sync with each other.

"Oh don't mind us, just take your lovin' nice and slow," Tyler and Scott sang over a shot of even more scarabs pairing up, hearts forming in their eyes.

"Oh don't mind us," Ella sang next as the shot cut back to the cast slowing fleeing.

"Make out until the break of dawn!" Sugar, Lightning, and Ezekiel sang, the pageant queen following her teammates while the two boys walked past closer to the camera.  
"Ohh~, ohh~!" Sammy, Dawn, and Scarlett repeated again as they and the rest of Team Universe went off-screen.

"Just don't mind us!" Alejandro sang as the shot rapidly zoomed out to show all seventeen contestants walking cautiously away in their teams.  
"'Cause pretty soon we'll all be gone!" the teens sang as one.

"Yah, don't mind us-" Staci began to say, the camera zooming in on her as the music came to a sudden halt and the background became light again. "Wait, no!" The girl stopped herself quickly, but it was too late – with a few dramatic notes, the formerly pacified scarab beetles turned their attention back to the humans.

~/~

The cast promptly ran screaming, with Staci lagging behind just long enough for a few scarabs to start crawling up her.

"Nice one!" Chris said with a wide grin. He held up an air horn, then yelled " _Go_!" as he blew it. The teams were shown doing just that – Team Chris out first with their swaying stack atop the goat, then Team Universe on their camel, and lastly Team Victory on foot getting chased by the insect swarm.

"Who's gonna die?" the host asked the camera as it cut back to him. "And who's goin' _buh-bye_? Find out after the break, on Total! Drama! _World Tour_ ~chachacha!" He stage-whispered the last two words in tune with the rattling Western-styled music that played.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode returned to a shot of the scorching sun, the camera quickly pulling back to show Team Universe in the lead with Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean right behind.

"Mmm-hmm...oh yes, I see...," Dawn said as the camera zoomed in on her and Sammy sitting on the camel's neck together. The mystic seemed to be conversing with the team's mount, as evidenced by its grunts and occasional looks backward. Sammy watched her friend nod along to whatever the camel was saying, then decided to crane her head around.

"Hey, how's everyone doing back there?" she asked her teammates.

"Ella won't stop _hummin_ '!" Sugar immediately complained as the camera panned back to her and the princess, who was indeed humming the tune they'd all just been singing with her eyes closed. "It's annoyin' me!" the pageant queen added with a sharp look at Ella, finally attracting her attention.

"Oh, sorry Sugar," the girl apologized. "It's just that I like to use music to pass the time."

"I don't mind if Ella chooses to hum," Alejandro spoke up, earning a snort of contempt from Sugar.

"Ohh..well, what about you Scarlett?" Sammy asked uncertainly.

The shot cut to the evil genius who was clinging to the camel's rear end, occasionally getting hit on the head by its tail. "All _I_ care about-ow is getting this accursed ungulate to- _ow_ stop _hitting me_!" She swatted at the tail, and got another swat from it in return.

A long-distance shot of Team Universe and Team Chris showed the latter starting to trail behind. "Sorry amigos," Alejandro called out to them, "but your poorly-balanced team is _never_ going to win this race!"

"Yeah, so go eat sand!" Sugar added.

"No, _you_ go eat sand!" Sierra shot back from the top of her team's human pyramid. "We're a team of fan-favorites, we can do _anything_!"

"Your logic is as flawed as your understanding of social boundaries!" Scarlett replied.

Sierra gasped in offense, and angrily shook her fist at the other team. "You take that back!"

"Whoa, can you calm down a little before we _fall_?" Bridgette said in rising panic as the five began to sway again.

xxx

"I'll admit those taunts were starting to get to me too," the surfer confessed in the jet's restroom, "but somebody has to keep a cool head, even in the desert."

xxx

"Anybody see the Nile yet?" Shawn asked as the footage cut back to Team Chris. He and his teammates were looking around them, but as a quick perspective change showed there looked to be nothing but desert nearby.

"We should probably just follow the others," DJ suggested. "Dawn'll know the way, no doubt about it."

"Then we should probably start turning," Bridgette spoke up. "Look!" She pointed ahead, and the camera rotated around to show Team Universe's camel bearing right.

"Hold on," Sierra said as the camera moved up to, "just let me _adjust_...a little..." She moved her hips and twisted her body, and a triumphant tune welled up as the goat started to turn...then abruptly fell flat as the stack of bodies collapsed in a chorus of surprised gasps and bleats. The sand they kicked up quickly settled, and Beardo made a 'sad trombone' effect from the bottom of the new pile.

/

The scene flashed back to Team Universe as Dawn perked up and pointed ahead of them. "Look! We're almost there!" she announced, the viewpoint changing to show a few stand of palm trees along with a hint of blue and a finish line banner in the distance past some sand dunes.

"Good, because we've finally lost those imbeciles that were following us!" Scarlett added with a dark grin that was broken by a fart from the camel. "Oh no," she said quickly, turning wide eyes to the butt she was clinging to, "please don't be-"

The camera cut to the other members of the team cringing in disgust as the telltale sounds of steamy defecation were heard.

xxx

Sammy began her turn in the restroom confessional with a sigh. "I was hoping we could show DJ's team which way to go, but maybe it's better that they _didn't_ have to see that."

xxx

The footage resumed with a human skull laying ominously on the sand in the foreground before the camera panned over to the standing members of Team Chris.

"Well _that_ was a bust," DJ said gloomily.

"Maybe Team _Chris_ ain't cut out for _this_ ," Beardo added.

"What are you _talking_ about?" Sierra said angrily, throwing up her arms. "Of _course_ we're cut out for this! We just have to find those other guys again and we're golden!"

"Umm, Sierra?" Bridgette asked, tapping her teammate on the shoulder to get her attention. "I hate to break it to you, but I can't see Team Universe _anywhere_." The shot zoomed out fairly far, a scorching tune highlighting the fact that there wasn't another living thing around them.

/

The scene flashed to a close-up of Ezekiel's legs as he ran through the desert, the camera soon panning up to show the rest of him. "Yo," he panted, "we're so far behind we can't see the others anymore, eh!"

The shot zoomed out even more, showing him at the back of Team Victory's pack with Staci. Tyler, Scott, and Geoff were ahead of them, and Lightning was out in front by a couple feet.

"Lightning," the party boy asked with the stick in his hand, "dude, do you have _any_ idea where you're going?"

"Sha- _duh_ ," the uber-jock replied, "Lightning's followin' those footprints he spotted a while ago!" He pointed to the ground in front of him, and the camera cut to show a messy trail of prints in the sand – it was hard to make out how many individuals had made them, but they were all distinctly human.

Scott was shown narrowing his eyes suspiciously, then looking back – a similar trail was being made behind them. "Lightning, you idiot, those are _our_ tracks!" he announced, smacking his face. "You've been leading us in _circles_!"

The six teens immediately skid to a stop and groaned.

/

The scene flashed back to Team Universe as they rode their camel up to the bank of the Nile.

"Lookie, there's the finish line!" Sugar said excitedly, pointing across the water. The six promptly got off their mount, and Scarlett frantically pushed past the others to run towards the water, her face still covered in what was presumably camel poop.

"Too bad it's on the other side," Sammy said, the camera moving closer to the water to show Chris and Chef lounging on the far bank under the finish banner. Several crocodiles surfaced or jumped out of the water.

"Welcome to the third challenge!" Chris yelled.

"What?" Sammy yelled back. "We can't hear you!" The camera panned to the side, showing the faraway host yelling something that couldn't quite be made out. "Did anybody catch that?" the cheerleader turned back and asked her team.

The shot cut to Chris, who now looked annoyed. He snapped his fingers and was handed an oversized megaphone, which was promptly pointed at the river.

"I said, welcome to the third and final Egyptian challenge!" he repeated at a volume that shook the ground and blew back Team Universe's hair. "'Basket Cases'!" The camel bellowed in fear in the lull between sentences. "Each team must weave a basket of river reeds," Chris continued as the camera panned down to the reedy bank. "Your basket has to be big enough to hold your whole team, including your reward from the last challenge, a.k.a. Camel Breath over there!"

The shot promptly cut to Scarlett as she raised her head out of the water, a few bits of poop still on it. "Was that meant to be a _joke_?" she yelled at the host.

"He means the _camel_ ," Dawn told her calmly, pointing back at their ride which had begun browsing on the nearby plants.

"Hmmph," Scarlett sniffed, "I knew that."

"Then you're gonna use the baskets together with those oars," the host continued as the focus moved to a group of wooden oars leaning against a nearby tree, "to row yourselves _across_ the finish line. First team across flies _first class_ to our next destination."

"So, how are we gonna weave a boat big enough to carry all of us, _plus_ the camel?" Sammy asked.

"Don't worry," Dawn said, "I'm quite practiced in the art of weaving plants together. Never something so _big_ , but I doubt it'll be _too_ hard."

"We should start gathering reeds, then," Alejandro said as he walked down to the bank and plucked a handful of plants. "We're gonna need a _lot_ of them."

/

Another flash took the scene to some sort of animal skull lying on the sand, the camera panning over to show the six members of Team Victory trudging across the desert with despair on their faces.

"Man, I can't believe we're _lost_ in the middle of _Egypt_ ," Tyler said.

"Totally, dude," Geoff added. "We could, like, die out here, and...and..." he trailed off as he noticed the stick in his hand start to vibrate. "Aah!" he screamed dropping the stick. "Haunted stick!"

"It's not _haunted_ ," Scott said with a sneer as he walked over and picked the forked piece of wood back up, holding the two 'prongs' like handles. "It's a _divining rod_! They use these back home to find places to dig wells."

"Wait, if that thing can find water," Ezekiel spoke up, "maybe it can find the Nile, eh?"

"Sha- _bam_!" Lightning said excitedly. "Team Victory's gonna be back in first place in _no time_!"

"Oh yah!" Staci said as the boys began to cheer. "This is totally awesome!"

/

The changed back to Team Chris, who had gotten their pile sorted out but were now standing around aimlessly.

"Okay, so if the camel was heading that way," Sierra began to say, pointing off in one direction.

"Naw, they went in _that_ direction," Beardo corrected, pointing a different way entirely. Shawn walked into view behind him, his eyes fixated on the sand.

"But the sun was on our _left_ when we started the race!" Sierra countered with a frown.

"Was it?" Bridgette asked in an uncertain tone, Shawn still wandering around behind the group looking at the sand. "I can barely remember, it feels like we've been out here for _days_."

"Don't worry little guy," DJ told the goat in a soothing voice as he bent down to pet it, "we'll get you outta here soon, I promise."

"Don't forget," Beardo added, "those girls _turned_. We can't just keep goin' straight."

"I know, but-" Sierra began to say.

"Hey guys!" Shawn finally called out, the shot pulling back to show the full team as the four turned to look at the survivalist. "I found the camel's trail! We should be able to follow it all the way to 'em if the wind doesn't pick up." he announced as triumphant music started to well up and his teammates began to cheer and run over to him.

"Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean," Sierra announced with a dramatic point, "we're off! Time to _win_ this challenge!"

"Yeah!" the other four chorused. Shawn started running to lead the way, and the others followed – only DJ and the goat lagged behind.

"See, what'd I tell ya?" the gentle giant told his animal friend. "And you don't even have to carry us!" The goat bleated happily as DJ picked it up, then started running to catch up with his teammates.

/

The scene flashed back to Team Universe, who under Dawn's guidance were already about a third of the way done weaving their large boat. The camera panned to the left as Team Chris ran into the scene, quickly skidding to a stop on the sandy riverbank.

"Wait, we have to basket-weave a _boat_?" Shawn asked incredulously upon seeing the rival team.

"Oh em gee this is _perfect_!" Sierra declared excitedly, dashing to the front of the five.

"How's that?" DJ asked her, the goat still in his arms. "We're already pretty far behind!"

"I'm a fourth-generation basket-weaver," Sierra explained excitedly, "I can get this done in _no time_!" She immediately dashed off and started grabbing reeds.

"And since we don't have as many _people_ to carry," Bridgette added with a growing smile.

"Or a _camel_ ," Shawn pointed out.

"Then we don't need as big a boat as they do!" the surfer finished.

Beardo happily mimed pulling down on a rope as he made the sound of a loud clanging ship's bell.

"Okay, time to _weave_!" Sierra declared as she returned back to the group with an armful of reeds and quickly descended into a frenzy of motion.

"C'mon guys," Bridgette told the others, "lets start helping!" With a cheer, she led Shawn, Beardo, and DJ down to the water's edge to start gathering reeds.

The scene promptly moved back to Team Universe, focusing in particular on Alejandro. "We must hurry!" he implored his teammates. "The other team is going to get ahead of us!"

"What do you think we're _doing_ , sitting on our hands?" Scarlett hissed as she slid a reed into position on the side of the boat. "We have to build this thing _correctly_ or else our combined weight will cause it to sink!"

"Stitching and pinching and weaving the boating," Ella sang while she worked, "all to be sure that we'll stay a-floating!"

Sugar frowned at her in irritation, then said "Man, this sure would be easier if we could just leave the dang _camel_ behind. The we'd just need to carry the five of us!"

"Umm, I think you mean _six_ of us," Sammy corrected.

"Yeah, _right_ ," the pageant queen grunted with a quick glare at Ella.

"And anyway," Sammy continued, "we _have_ to bring the camel across, remember? So let's just work quickly so we don't fall too far behind."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about _that_ ," Dawn said offhand as she worked on extending the boat's frame. "The Universe is guiding us, after all."

Sugar gave her an incredulous look.

xxx

"What's she talkin' 'bout with that ' _Universe_ ' stuff?" the pageant queen asked in the restroom confessional, adding mocking air quotes around the word in question. "Yeah, we're _Team_ Universe, but I thought that was on account of it bein' the highest title there is, like how 'Miss Universe' is the highest level pageant!"

xxx

The background music became tense as Team Victory finally arrived on the scene, skidding to a stop in front of Team Universe. "Yeah, we're not too late!" Tyler said.

A screech of feedback got their attention, and the shot cut across the river to Chris and Chef lounging on the far bank – the host using the former intern's skeleton as a footrest, while Chef used a living intern. "Weave a basket boat out of reeds, row to the finish, yadda yadda yadda..." Chris said in a bored tone.

"You heard the host," Geoff told his teammates, "let's yadda yadda dudes!" They immediately ran off to the river.

The camera cut to a close-up of Sierra as she laid down a long reed on the conical roof of a cabin, the shot pulling back to show the rest of Team Chris' boat completed – it looked identical to the one used in the seasons' opening sequence. "Ta-da!" she called down to her teammates.

"Sierra, this _rocks_!" Bridgette said excitedly as her teammate jumped back down onto the sand. "Now let's get it into the water."

"You get on first little guy," DJ said as he set the goat down on the deck of the boat. He and Beardo started pushing it towards the water, the beatboxer accompanying the effort with the beeping of a truck backing up, but the camera zoomed back in on the goat. It looked down at the reeds beneath it, smiled, then took a big bite out of the floor. The two black boys pushing the boat raised their brows as the boat shook a little bit, then started to sink.

Beardo immediately gave off an alarm bell, and the other three rushed to the side of the boat. "Oh crap," Bridgette exclaimed as the camera changed perspective to better show the hole and the water pouring in threw it.

The goat had backed away a little, and had shifted it focus to the side of the boat. Just as it was about to take another bite, DJ picked it up and gave it a stern look.

"Great," Shawn said as he, Sierra, Bridgette, and Beardo hauled the boat back onto the beach. "There goes our lead."

"Not if _I_ have anything to say about it," Sierra said with determination on her face as she grabbed more reeds that were lying around.

"Having trouble?" Alejandro called with a mocking smirk as the camera panned over to Team Universe, their own craft looking nearly finished.

"Not enough to make a difference," Bridgette shot back with an unamused look.

/

The scene flashed ahead a little ways, the focus back on Team Universe as Dawn put the finishing touches on their simple-looking boat. "Done!" she announced.

"Great job, Dawn!" Sammy smiled.

"Let's get the camel," Alejandro said.

"Leave that to _Sugar_!" the pageant queen volunteered, dashing over to their extra passenger.

The scene quickly cut to Team Chris as Sierra, who was kneeling down in it, wiped the sweat from her brow and stood back up. "All done!" she told her teammates. DJ handed the goat to her, then he and the other members of the team pushed the boat into the water.

"Everybody hop on!" Bridgette said, leading the others in jumping into their creation with oars in their hands.

"It really floats!" DJ said happily as Beardo imitated a ship's bell again.

"Aah! Aah! Dudes, we gotta _hurry_!" Geoff hollered, clutching his hair in panic.

Lightning promptly slapped him. "Stop _cryin_ ' and start _weavin_ '," he commanded as the shot pulling out to show the six's crudely-shaped boat, "we're almost done!"

"C'mon, you lumpy horse," Sugar commanded as the scene cut back to her trying to push the uninterested camel from behind, " _git_!" The camel grunted, but didn't move.

Alejandro groaned and palmed his face. "This isn't working! We need to try something else."

"Hey there, our sweet camel fella," Ella sang from in front of the camel, immediately captivating it. "If you came over here," she danced down to their boat which was already in the water, "it would be mighty swellaaa~aaa~!" With a happy grunt, the camel finally started moving.

" _I_ coulda done _that_...," Sugar crossed her arms and pouted.

"Alright," Lightning announced, the music building dramatically as Team Victory pushed their shoddy-looking boat down the sand, "let's sha-sail!"

"Don'cha mean paddle?" Ezekiel asked as the team jumped into their now-floating boat, the homeschooler sitting in the middle with Staci – who now had the stick – while Lightning paddled in the back, Geoff and Scott on the sides, and Tyler in front.

"Whatever!" Lightning said as the team started moving through the water.

An ominous and reverberating note took over the background music as the camera cut to Chris and Chef on the opposite bank. "Well now," the host told his companion, "clearly this part of the challenge isn't hard enough. Sooo..."

The 'music' icon appeared in the corner of the screen with its usual dings.

"Time for a musical reprise!" Chris announced joyfully.

"Aaww!" the majority of the cast groaned, all three teams now on the water. Team Chris had Sierra sitting with the goat in their ship's cabin while DJ, Beardo, Bridgette, and Shawn paddled in front; Team Universe had Ella and Dawn standing in the back with their camel while Scarlett, Sammy, Sugar, and Alejandro rowed in front.

"Hey," Chris told the teams, "if you finished the song the _first_ time you wouldn't be here now, _Staci_!" The shot cut to Team Victory's boat, where the girl in question was receiving annoyed looks from the boys around her. "Start singin'!" Chris called out with a grin. "And put your backs into it!"

~/~

An up-tempo version of the love song that had been used for the earlier musical number began to play as the contestants looked behind them to a group of crocodiles rising to the surface.

"Crocodiles, please don't chase us! While we're rowin' past!" Ella opened with a worried look on her face, singing to the nearest crocodiles from the back of Team Universe's boat which was already in motion. The camera briefly panned forward to show Scarlett and Sugar pausing to beat a couple crocodiles with oars as the reptiles poked their heads up and snapped their jaws.

"We aren't on the menu, so;" Beardo sang as the camera panned further ahead to Team Chris, a couple more crocodiles jumping over their taller boat and snapping at the camel.  
"Don't waste your time tryin' to attack!" Sierra finished.

"We ain't gonna go down that easy!" Lightning said as the shot cut to him slamming his oar down on a crocodile's head.

"So don't bother, just go away!" Scott added, hitting another crocodile.

"Or else we're gonna bust out the mad skills;" Ezekiel added, trying to karate chop one of the predators but hitting the side of the boat instead.  
"We're not gonna give up today!" Geoff added while rowing.  
"Oh no!" Staci exclaimed, trying to smack a crocodile with the stick she'd been given, only for the reptile to swallow it with a growl.

"So don't eat us!" Alejandro sang as the scene cut back to Team Universe frantically rowing across the river as crocodiles snapped at them from either side.  
"We probably taste bad!" the other members of the team chorused as the camera panned to Team Victory on the left.

"Yes don't eat us!" Dawn sang just before her team went off-screen.  
"We're paddling like mad!" Team Victory chorused.

"Yeah don't fight us!" Tyler sang as he paddled.  
"So go swim back into your den!" his teammates sang as the camera started quickly panning back to the right, where Team Chris was in the lead.

"Please don't bite us!" Bridgette sang next, barely ducking under another crocodile that jumped out of the water.  
"Don't wanna have to ask again!" the other members of Team Chris sang while Beardo and Shawn smacked a few more crocodiles away.

"And don't sink us!" DJ sang with panic growing in his voice as the crocodiles that were hit retaliated by chomping off parts of their boat's bow and stern.  
"Don't give us those toothy grins!" the majority of the cast sang as the shot zoomed out to include them.

"You won't beat us!" Team Universe sang as they sped up and passed Team Chris.  
"'Cause now Team Universe...," Ella and Alejandro sang, holding the note as the music hung and their boat reached the finish line on the other shore, the six teens quickly running out with their camel in tow. Team Chris followed seconds after, and Team Victory seconds after that.

"Wiiiiinnnssss~!" Team Universe sang together, the camera pulling back from them as the music came to its end.

~/~

"Congrats!" Chris said with open arms as he walked up to the three teams. "You're alive. And, as long as you all brought your rewards across the finish line, there will be _no_ elimination tonight." Immediately, nearly all the contestants began to cheer – with one notable exception.

"Umm, I don't wanna say it, but I _kinda_ lost the stick," Staci hesitantly spoke up. A few dramatic notes played as the camera pulled back, showing the rest of Team Victory glaring at their lone female teammate.

Chris laughed. "Wow, sucks to be you!"

/

The scene flashed to the beating sun as the Total Drama Jumbo Jet flew up into view, and the camera cut inside to the elimination room. Chris was standing at a podium behind a short and uneven wooden partition, outside of which stood Chef Hatchet. The six losers were seated in wooden bleachers on the right wall under a straw overhang – Geoff and Tyler and Lightning on the top row; Staci and Ezekiel and Scott on the bottom.

"Team Victory," Chris said, "you came in last _and_ lost your reward on the way... _Staci_." He gave the girl a quick narrow-eyed look before resuming his usual manner. "So, it's vote time! Up in the loser class bathroom you'll find six passports."

"Unless _somebody_ messed those up too," Scott said with a sneer towards Staci.

"Like, I said I was _sorry_ , jeez," the girl huffed.

"Stamp the passport of the team member you'd like to send home," Chris explained before a deep and dramatic note played. "And make sure the camera can see it so we know nobody _cheated_."

"Who do you think we are, Scarlett?" Lightning said in minor offense as another deep note played, leading into a familiar low and tense tune used in past seasons.

xxx

Static cut the scene to the confessional bathroom, where Lightning held up a passport with Staci's face on it, slammed it down on the countertop, and stamped it with a cry of "Sha- _vote_!"

xxx

Staci was second, smiling as she held up Lightning's passport and stamped it.

xxx

The next voter was Scott, who smirked darkly as he stamped the chatterbox's passport.

xxx

Fourth was Tyler, who scratched his head in confusion as he looked over the five passports laid out in front of him. With an uncertain grimace, he finally stamped Staci's.

xxx

Ezekiel was fifth, but he paused after holding up Staci's passport to pick his nose. He looked at the booger he pulled out for a second, then wiped it on his pants and stamped the passport.

xxx

Geoff came last, although he was standing with his back to the camera with the stamp and open passports of Staci, Lightning, and Scott on the counter. He zipped up his pants, then turned and began to wash his hands...he finally remembered the passports as he was drying them, and with a slightly frantic expression he stamped Staci's.

xxx

The footage finally cut back to a close-up of several passports in Chris' hand. "I've got the results of your vote right here," he said as the camera zoomed out. "Those staying in the game will get in-flight snacks," he explained as he held up a bag of peanuts that seemed to have something coating its bottom. "Mmm, hmhmm! _Barfy_!" Chris laughed, taking a quick whiff of the bag.

"The following players are safe," he announced as the shot cut back to the contestants. "Tyler, Geoff, Ezekiel, Scott!" One by one, the boys caught the peanut-filled barf bags as they were thrown to them. "And, the last bag of peanuts goes to..." The background music trilled tensely as the host paused, Staci going wide-eyed with fear while Lightning pursed his lips in annoyance.

"...Lightning!" The uber-jock grinned as he caught his snacks.

"Wait, what?" Staci said in confusion as she stood up.

"You've got five seconds to strap this on," Chris told her with a parachute pack in his hand, "or the Drop of _Shame_ will become the Drop of _Pain._ " He tossed the pack to Staci with a short laugh, and the series' solemn but reverent elimination theme began to play.

"I...I got voted out first _again_?" Staci said as she walked forward as if in a daze, past Chef Hatchet who motioned towards the side door of the plane. "But _how_?"

She was answered by a swift kick from Chef Hatchet that sent her flying out the door, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"I _knew_ that would be satisfying!" Chris said with a grin.

The solemn music continued as the camera cut outside, focusing first on the parachute pack that was hooked on Staci's legs before panning up to the girl who was clinging to the tip of the horizontal stabilizer on the tail of the jet. "But...but I _can't_ leave yet!" she exclaimed over the roaring wind. "There's still so much I didn't get to-" she was cut off when she suddenly lost her grip, and despite scrambling to regain it she was still sent flying back from the jet, her final scream of "DOOOOOOOOO!" fading off into the distance.

The camera panned back to the still-open door of the plane where Chris was sticking his head out to watch Staci's departure. "Happy landings!" he called out with a mocking grin. He started to laugh, the viewpoint pulling back and rotating down as the plane ascended into the open sky.

xxx

"Man, voting someone out is _hard_ ," Tyler admitted in the restroom confessional. "Sure, Staci's the whole reason we had to do it in the first place, plus she's kind of annoying, but I can't help but feel for her wanting to win so badly after losing. Uhh," he suddenly became nervous and looked around rapidly, "not that I'm the same way or anything."

xxx

Scott opened the next confessional with a shrug. "What can I say, Staci was practically _begging_ to be eliminated. And if I get my way, so will the _others_ , heh heh heh..." After laughing he became serious again. "Of course, my _main_ strategy this season is gonna be different. I've come up with a new plan that'll let me mess with _everyone_." He grinned darkly and rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

xxx

"Wow, looks like we've got a _real_ competitor now," Chris, now wearing an old-fashioned pilot's uniform, said with a slightly mocking tone from the cockpit as the series' dramatic capstone theme began to play. "Where will our next destination take us, and," a faint springing noise in the background was followed by a muffled scream of 'zombies!', "will Shawn recover from the prank I just pulled? Find out next time, on an all-new episode of Total!" The shot cut outside one of the windows, catching the zombie survivalist struggling with what looked like the inflatable Chef wearing a zombie mask. "Drama!" The shot quickly cut to a side-view of the flying jumbo jet, then pulled back slightly for the final part. "World Tour!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The clip faded in to Staci frantically trying to readjust her parachute pack as she fell. "Yah, I probably should've seen this coming," she finally admitted to the camera that was falling in pace with her. "I guess I _did_ kinda lose the challenge. Still, like, I'm totally gonna be back. Every season has had people come back in the middle, and since I got voted out first both times I was on the show it's totally gonna be me next!"

She spent a few seconds in thoughtful silence, then said "Maybe I should go visit some of my relatives while I wait? I have so many and they live all over the world, isn't that awesome? I mean yah, it's a long way, but my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-Aunt Francis invented hitchhiking so it's like second nature to me." She pulled the cord on her pack, and her parachute deployed successfully.

Staci looked down and her eyes widened, and the shot quick-panned down to show a river teeming with rather lazy-looking crocodiles below her. She landed on the back of one, and cautiously asked it "Umm, can you take me to the nearest town?" It looked at her and growled menacingly as the parachute drifted down and covered them both.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Today's first song in titled 'Don't Mind Us', while the reprise is titled 'Don't Eat Us'. How did everyone like them? They're deliberately quite similar to the canon songs, but (obviously) different enough to be a decent showcase of what you can probably expect for many of the songs to come. I hope they weren't too bad, but don't spare my feelings if you didn't like them.

The elimination, on the other hand, was pretty obvious. Somebody has to get eliminated first, and I decided early on that it would be Staci again - as such, she pretty much filled the role Ezekiel got stuck in in canon. With one main exception, of course - she's not sticking around in the cargo hold as a stowaway. Seeing Zeke in the backgrounds of scenes was funny in canon, but what ended up happening to him because of it was not. What will Staci's fate be in the Shuffledverse? Only I know for sure.

But yeah, other than that most of this episode's challenge ended up being the same as the canon version. Most notably is the mostly-girl team's win at the end of the song, as well as Team Victory being the first real losers. Still, the character dynamics are so different from canon that it makes up for the challenge similarities.

Well, that's my perspective at least. Let me know what you think in a review, and I'll see you all next week!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)


	3. Chapter 3 - Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do

**Author's Note**

Welcome back, dear readers! As you might have already spotted, this isn't the Japan episode like you may have been expecting. Don't fret, I haven't made a mistake - this is just the first instance of my changing around the order of locations, as I talked about in the AN for the first episode. Why did I decide to move this episode up? Well, I'll talk about that in the Post Script. For now, I have a butt load of reviews to answer.

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** Are you actually reading the chapters? Because you always post your reviews so quickly, and this one doesn't really make that much sense to me since Ezekiel wasn't eliminated.

 **Nickie Mudkip:** Yeah, figured Staci wouldn't be missed too much even if people do feel sorry for her. As for what Scott's strategy is...well, you'll find out in time.

 **BuckJohnson:** Thanks! As for the losing streak that occurred in canon, the identity of the season's main villain, and the next elimination...well, all I can say now is that I will continue to enjoy people's predictions.

 **Zak Saturday:** Thanks! Also, the votes last chapter were made pretty clear - Staci was the only one who voted for Lightning; the rest of Team Victory voted for her.

 **Boggie445:** Well...you'll find out what happens eventually, I guess.

 **StarHeart Specials:** I'm glad you like it! As for Scott's role this season...well, only I know for sure.

 **Ddynamo:** Thanks for the review as always, and I enjoyed hearing your thoughts - especially about the future villains.

 **Bruno14:** Yup, Sugar's not really the type to like Ella even in the Shuffledverse. I'm happy you enjoyed the songs last episode, as well as Scarlett getting stuck on the hind end of the camel, Alejandro and Bridgette's continued rivalry, and the interactions between Lightning and Tyler. I hope you continue to enjoy this season!

 **insertnamehere21:** Yeah, probably. Anyways, I'm glad you liked the chapter! Especially the roles that are being filled, particularly Ezekiel's.

 **ashDanLand:** True, but last is still last. Thanks for the review!

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Agreed. As funny as it was to see Zeke lurking around in the background of the plane, it just wouldn't work with Staci.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Ah, I see. Well, you're not the only one who missed the first week. Anyway, I'm glad you;re liking how the season is shaping up so far, especially the songs! I hope I can keep up the quality.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Thanks! And I did briefly consider a team switch, but that would've involved probably Geoff and Bridgette or something and I wanted to keep them apart this season.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Thanks! It really makes me happy knowing that people like my songs. And sorry about not having her follow Zeke's path from canon, but I do think it's for the better in the end.

 **Karts of Sugar Rush:** Thanks so much about the songs! Although StarHeart Specials has already volunteered to help me with the songs if I need it, and I haven't taken them up on that yet - not that I'm doubting anybody's musical talents, just that I really want to try doing it myself first if only to grow my skills in that area. That aside, I'm glad you like Sierra's role as the brains of her team, and you're certainly right that Team Universe has the most friction in it by far. As for Team Victory...well, you'll see a bit more of them interacting in the next two episodes.

 **The Prime Writer:** Hey, no problem - there's nothing wrong with trying to get away from the 'net, or from loving it. I'm glad you're okay with Staci getting the first boot - she's an odd character to develop, and you're certainly right that I'd rather spend the efforts on Ezekiel and some of the others. I won't spoil my current plans for Alejandro and DJ, but Sugar and Ella's relationship is definitely something I'm still deciding on so far as how it's gonna end up. All in all, I hope you enjoy the ride!

 **Knifez:** Yup, you're exactly right - some people just have to be fodder in any given season. It can be a tough call to make at times, but it has to be done. And as for the relative lack of plots at the moment...well, I hope I'm not repeating my mistake from the past two seasons and starting off too slowly. I know I've said I'd try to fix that, but I hope I can actually do so. As for who's going next...well, you'll have to wait and see. And yeah, the character limit for chapter titles on this site is annoying, even if I do understand why it exists.

 **FOWLKON:** Yeah, I'll admit I'm kinda going with that vibe for Scott, especially with respect to Chris's opinion of him - we've already seen what he can do once, so he's not as surprising as Alejandro was in canon. And yeah, while Ezekiel's canon subplot had some good moments before he went totally feral, it was ultimately just a waste to set up a LotR reference. As for whether or not this season's eliminations will be balanced...well, they'll be more balanced than canon's at least.

 **Lowland Warrior:** Well, I won't say I wasn't surprised to see your reviews! You, uh, you might wanna finish TSA, though, just to understand what happened with Scarlett. Let's see...I did consider making Sugar's hatred of Ella justified, but I decided I like her better as her cheerful and good-natured canon self. I'm glad you caught the reference to both Scott's season one curse as well as the curse from canon...oh, and there probably won't be anymore reprises after the first two chapters, though the Aftermaths will still generally have two songs. Moving on to the second review...well, I'm certainly glad you're liking Team Universe. Although I do hope that you'll find something you really enjoy about the others teams too. As for Lightning quitting in the first episode...well, I won't say I didn't consider something along those lines, but it really wouldn't have worked out very well.

 **Eternal Nexus Warrior:** Yeah, Staci's elimination was pretty obvious. And as for Tyler...well, it was random after all.

 **DSX62415:** Yeah, it definitely seems like that right now as far as Staci goes at least. As for what will become of DJ, Sammy, and Dawn...well, you'll have to wait and find out.

 **aloasa:** Hey, no worries about not reviewing for awhile, I totally understand. And yeah, the ending of last episode's challenge was a deliberate parallel to canon, and I'm glad it still ended up feeling distinct enough.

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! And regarding Dawn's skill with reeds...well, I needed somebody on Team Universe to have that skill, and Dawn seemed like the best choice. All in all I'm glad you're liking the changes that have been made, and that you're looking forward to seeing how things develop. I hope you continue to enjoy the season!

 **Ruffhero77:** First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review all the way up to this point! I'm glad you've enjoyed the series. For this season, I'm glad you liked the songs as well as this season's intro sequence and it's hint about Geoff and Bridgette being separated. And I'm sorry I had to eliminate Staci, but, well, somebody had to go first. And as for Team Universe and the rivalries therein...well, I'm glad you like them, and I hope you like what I have in store!

 **I. M. Poik:** Yup, they definitely do. And as for the songs...well, I will agree that they still need some work, but I'm not gonna get better if I don't keep practicing. Sorry, but you'll have to bare with my songs for the rest of the season. I am glad you liked the rest of the chapter, even if Staci elimination was pretty predictable. And I can see what you mean about Zeke's elimination in canon not being fair, since he wouldn't have used the stick to attack if Harold hadn't suggested the attack in the first place.

 **Ali6132:** Aha, no worries, no worries, you managed to read it in the end. I'm glad you're enjoying the season so far! And...admittedly it was more of a surprise that you're supporting Team Universe than you expected, but only because with so many reviewers it's difficult to keep everyone's favorites straight...sorry. Also, yeah, I was super disappointed by that comment on Fresh's blog about Dakota and Ezekiel. With how sci-fi this show gets at times, it isn't too much to think that those two could return to some semblance of normality eventually.

 **atom king:** Ah, no, I have no plans for Scarlett to redeem herself now or ever. As for Jo, well, she'll be on the Aftermaths at least.

 **wifishark:** Yeah, I guess Staci can't. As for the rest of Team Victory...well, you'll find out soon enough.

And with that, the reviews are done with for the week. Next up is the list of remaining contestants:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Lightning, Tyler, Geoff

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Bridgette, Shawn, Beardo, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Dawn, Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

Obviously, not much has changed so far. But will that hold true this week? Find out and keep warm, because this story is heading north.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode Three – Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris began as he walked into a shot of the first-class seats from the left. "Egypt! Land of pyramids!" he made a triangle above his head with his arms. "Land of hot!" he mimed fanning himself in the desert heat. "Land of sweaty! Our contestants had _loads_ of fun, on the run, in the sun," he said over clips of Team Victory running on foot, Team Universe traveling by camel, and Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean's swaying stack on top the goat.

"And! They still managed to find time to," Team Victory was shown realizing they were lost, "meet some scarabs," Scarlett was shown running through the pyramid from a swarm of beetles, "chat up a camel," Dawn was shown conversing with her team's mount, "feed the crocs," Staci was shown accidentally allowing a crocodile to swallow her team's stick, "and feed a _goat_ , too," Team Chris' reward was shown taking a bite out of their reed boat.

"Showing style on the Nile, Team Universe pulled out a win," the host continued over footage of the six crossing the finish line first at the end of the previous episode's musical reprise. "Staci found a way to lose," Chris said over a clip of the chatterbox getting thrown out of the plane for the elimination demonstration, " _un_ -lose," Staci was shown arriving last to the starting line outside the pyramid, "aaaaaand lose again!" Chef was shown kicking the disliked girl outside the jet once more.

"This week," Chris said as the recap footage ended and the scene flashed to him in the cockpit in his antique pilot's uniform, "who's gonna sing? Who's gonna dance? Who's gonna sell out their friends for a chance at One! Million! Dol-lars! Welcome, to Total!" A blaring note played as the camera zoomed out to a close-up of the cockpit from outside. "Drama!" Another note accompanied another movement back as the rest of the plane was included in the shot. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" As the host sang the title, a V-shaped flock of birds flew past beneath the jet.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened to a shot of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet flying through the sky, pointed towards the left of the screen. The camera cut inside with a flash to a close-up of Ella's smile, pulling back slightly as she sighed happily and said "First class is _wonderful_!" She was reclining in her seat, and had her eyes closed in peaceful rest.

"Indeed," Alejandro said, reclining in the seat next to hers. The camera panned left to Dawn and Sammy sitting in the seats across from them; the cheerleader seemed to be asleep on her side, while the mystic was playing with a deck of what looked like tarot cards on a fancy tray table.

The camera quick-panned further to the left, landing on Scarlett who was sitting at the first class mini-bar. She gulped down a small glass of what looked like some kind of juice, banging both the translucent purple glass and her forehead down on the counter afterward. A muffled groan issued forth from her hidden mouth.

"What're you mopin' for?" Sugar asked, walking into view from the right. "We're in first class! We're _winnin_ '!"

Scarlett raised her head and glared at the pageant queen. "We've only won a _single_ challenge so far," she said bitterly. "...and I can't exactly enjoy our current accommodations knowing what will happen when we _lose_." She peered into her glass again as if searching for another drop, and Sugar gave her an odd look.

xxx

"It's no secret that with the team as it is now," Scarlett explained in the restroom confessional, " _I_ will be the first choice for elimination. And with Ella in Alejandro's clutches, my only viable choice is to align," she sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of her nose, "with _Sugar_."

xxx

The scene cut to economy class, focusing first on Lightning, Tyler, Geoff, Ezekiel, and Scott sitting along the left wall looking variously tired and bored. Panning to the other side of the room revealed Sierra, Beardo, Bridgette, Shawn, and DJ sitting opposite them. The surfer looked up from her lap and sent a soft smile across the room, a touching tune playing as Geoff's face was shown lighting up into a smile of his own.

"Aaaand how is everyone back here?" Chris asked as the camera cut to the curtain separating economy class from the rest of the plane. "That _is_ what I would ask if I cared," he added over shots of each team glaring his way. He walked into the room, saying "Coming through, make way," as he passed in front of team that had been named after him.

"Where are we going next?" Bridgette asked. "Can it _please_ be somewhere a little _cooler_?"

"No _mummies_ would be nice," Shawn added.

"Or _crocodiles_ ," Scott added from across the aisle.

"Our next destination is _everything_ you've just asked for," Chris told the two teams with one of his usual smiles, immediately earning a concerned look from Sierra.

xxx

"Yeah," the superfan began her confessional with a cautious look, "after two seasons with Chris, I can be absolutely _certain_ when I say that he wasn't really telling us the whole _story_. I'd say we're in trouble," she frowned.

xxx

The music became tense as the scene cut back outside and the jumbo jet started jolting up and down. A 'fasten seatbelts' sign was shown flashing and dinging, and the screaming members of Team Chris frantically tried to comply. Another jolt caused Beardo – who hadn't buckled himself in yet – to raise up and hit his head on the overhead compartment, making the sound of a car crashing as he did so, and another as he unceremoniously plopped back down onto the bench.

"We got some nasty air bumps," Chef announced as the scene moved to the cockpit, "lock your butts to a seat. _O-ver_!"

"You don't need to say 'over'," Chris pointed out in the seat next to him.

"I like sayin' it," Chef explained, " _o-ver_!"

"Aah! Aah! Aah!" Geoff screamed in terror as the camera cut back to economy class. "We're gonna die, dudes!"

Lightning promptly reached over Tyler and slapped the party boy. "Pull yourself _together_!"

On the other side of the compartment Bridgette was shown putting her hands together and uttering a silent prayer skyward while Shawn frantically tied his uncooperative seat belt into a thick knot. On the other wall Scott attempted to buckle himself up as well, only for one of the straps to break. "Seriously?!" he said in angry disbelief.

"Should we stop messin' with 'em and level out?" a bright-eyed Chef asked the host back in the cockpit.

"Ehhhmm...," Chris said as he thought, " _nah_!" He shook his head and grinned, and the two men shared a brief look before bursting out into raucous laughter. The jet was shown shaking from the outside again, and a world map took over the screen with a focus on an airplane icon meandering across northern Canada.

The jumbo jet was shown again as it touched down on a runway in some frozen landscape; the sun was nestled between forested mountaintops and shined down on a half-frozen river. The plane's landing was anything but smooth, and the cast could be heard screaming and yelling inside as their ride jerked and jumped and finally crashed just off-screen.

DJ was shown opening the back door and stepping out, immediately screaming and flailing his arms as he tried to stop himself from falling several feet to the snow below. Unfortunately, the moment he regained his balance his teammates came up from behind to check things out, and Beardo bumped into him. DJ fell, followed by Beardo, the rest of Team Chris, the members of Team Universe, and lastly Team Victory with Ezekiel and Tyler bringing up the rear as everyone landed in a heap around DJ below.

"Welcome to the Yukon!" Chris announced as he leaned out of the door. A hollow sound played as a chilling wind blew across the Arctic landscape, jostling something from the top of a pine tree – the camera zoomed in to show it as a bird that had been frozen into an ice cube, along with two similarly-icy eggs.

/

The scene flashed to an overhead shot of the ice floe, the camera panning down to the starting line where the contestants shivered before Chris, who was wearing a luxurious white parka. The camera panned across them and their chattering teeth, eventually landing on Lightning who angrily asked "Yo, where are _our_ sha-jackets at?"

"Relax, I ordered coats for everyone," the host told them reassuringly, earning a short round of cheers. "They won't be ready for weeks, _but_ , as soon as they arrive I'll be sure to hand them out." The contestants groaned in disappointment.

"I th-think we should h-huddle together," Tyler suggested, "y'know, to keep warm and stuff?"

Ezekiel promptly smiled and tried to huddle with Bridgette, but the surfer quickly held him back at arm's length and grabbed Geoff to huddle with instead. DJ and Sammy quickly closed in around Dawn, and a touching tune played as Alejandro moved closer to Ella and gave her a charming smile that made her blush.

"Little chilly without mittens," Chris commented.

"Cocoa?" Chef asked with a styrofoam cup in his hand; he was wearing a sleeveless down jacket and trapper hat over his usual clothes.

"Don't mind if I do!" the host said, happily accepting the beverage.

As he drank, the camera cut away to Alejandro as the charmer shot a sly smile off-screen. The focus cut to Bridgette as she huddled with her boyfriend, the surfer noticing her rival's look and scowling back at him.

"Ahhh," Chris sighed, the camera cutting back to him as he finished his drink, " _much_ better."

Sugar zipped over to him in an instant. "You gonna finish that warm beverage?" she asked bluntly, pointing a shaky finger at the cup.

"Of course he is," Sierra answered for the host with a somewhat bored look on her face, "it's Chris' favorite drink."

" _Wrong_ ," the host corrected, "my-"

"Second only to tomato juice," Sierra finished before the host could.

Chris pursed his lips in annoyance. "Yeah, not even gonna _bother_ asking. Aren't you, like, _not_ my biggest fan anymore...or something?"

Sierra shrugged noncommittally. "I've mostly moved on to the show as a whole, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten everything I _know_ about you. Especially since I'm-"

The host cut her off by putting hit mitten-wearing hand over her mouth and pushing her to the side. "Yeah, don't care," he said in an unamused voice. "Moving on now!"

/

A flash took the scene back to Chris addressing the line of shivering teenagers. "Crossing the icy river and Canada's frozen tundra _used_ to be easy," he told them, "back when the river was frozen solid. But thanks to global warming, Earth is finally becoming a lot more interesting. By which I mean... _deadly_!" he lurched forward in a sudden attempt to scare the cast, but Sierra, Tyler, Lightning, Ella, Alejandro, and Sugar just shivered on without flinching.

"Today's challenge is called 'Total Drama the _Icicle_ '," Chris announced, briefly pretending to shiver. "Teams must make their way across this watery chasm," the shot changed back to an aerial perspective as the host motioned behind him and the camera panned to follow, "by jumping from ice floe to ice floe." The camera lingered on the hunks of floating ice before returning to Chris' close-up.

"First team member across must make their way to the dogsleds on the far shore and become the _dog_." The shot followed his thumb across the river and zoomed in on a trio of sleds – one that looked sleek and new; one that looked more like an antique; and one that looked like some crates tied to a toboggan. "Pulling the sled all the way to the finish line," an ominous note was struck as the camera panned up, following a trail of flags going up a tall hill and over to an icy cliff where the finish line banner was, "as you grab the rest of your team along the way at marked meeting points."

"Sleds are first-come, first-serve, _so_ , move fast," Chris explained over one shot of Ella, Alejandro, Sugar, Dawn, Sammy, and DJ gawking upwards, and another of Geoff, Bridgette, Ezekiel, and Shawn in a similar position. "Don't worry," the host addressed the cast, "if you fall into the water we're legally required to save you. So! We have two divers downstream ready to pull you out."

The shot quick-panned to two people in scuba suits who had been frozen into solid cubes; one had even flipped upside down.

"You guys ready for some mad ice floe jumpin'," Tyler quickly asked his teammates, "'cause this guy," he pointed both thumbs at himself, "is kickin' it into high gear! _Hoo_!" Scott and Lightning shared an unimpressed look.

"I say those of us who don't get to the sled first all head _straight_ for the finish line," Sierra whispered to her teammates. "That way the sled can go straight there too." The other four responded with a hushed chorus of "Right"s and "Yeah"s.

"Umm, excuse me," Sammy spoke up, "but what's the _reward_ for this challenge?"

"Did I _say_ reward?" Chris replied with an impish smile.

"Well, that's how this works, right?" Sammy asked with a hint of confusion as an undercurrent of drama filled the background music. "An elimination followed by a reward?"

"Yeah," Sierra spoke up, "that's how it was last season, and we have about the same number of people this time."

"Yeah, but, we found teams try harder during elimination challenges," Chris explained as the dramatic music began to rise. "So, _this_ year, there's no set routine. _Every_ challenge _could_ end in elimination!" He chuckled, and the cast moaned and griped in protest. "That's the spirit! On your mark!" Chef walked up to him some kind of horn-based instrument. "Get set! _Go_!" He waved his hand down, and at the signal Chef blew the horn – it sounded enough like a bellowing moose that an actual bull moose raised its head in interest.

Tense challenge music began as the contestants started to run. Tyler was the first to jump onto an ice floe, but he immediately lost his traction and flailed his legs all the way into the water.

"Sha- _bam_!" Lightning said as he easily leaped from the first ice floe to the next.

"L-l-l-l-l-little h-h-h-help here, d-d-dude?" the less-adept jock asked through chattering teeth.

The overachiever paused mid-jump to look back at his teammate. "Sorry New Guy, but Lightning does _not_ stop once he's started." He jumped off, leaving Tyler to frown.

xxx

"I may be the new guy around here," Tyler confessed in the airplane's restroom, "but I'm still a serious contender! I _gotta_ show Lightning and the others that I deserve to hang with them. But that means I gotta dig deep, 'cause outdoing Lightning is gonna be _hard_."

xxx

A Latin riff played as the scene cut back to Alejandro deftly leaping from one chunk of ice to the next, the music ending as the camera quick-panned back to the shore of the river where Scarlett and Sugar were standing together.

"We may as well get this over with," Scarlett said dryly before jumping to the nearest floe; she began to slip, but with a lot of flailing she managed to stabilize herself on the far edge.

"Yeah!" Sugar cheered. "If _they_ can do it, so can _we_!" With a grin she jumped towards the same piece of cue that Scarlett was on.

"No wait!" the brainiac said in a panic, trying to jump to the next floe. She was too slow, and Sugar landing on the ice catapulted Scarlett into the air – fortunately, due to her placement, she was sent forwards and managed to land face-first on another chunk of ice.

"Oops," the pageant queen chuckled to herself. "At least you got ahead!" she then shouted to her teammate.

The challenge music resumed playing as the shot cut back to Scarlett as she groaned, and was promptly passed by Beardo. The hairy boy took a confident leap onto the next platform, only to slip – he made the sounds of a comic pratfall as he fell on his butt.

Bridgette was shown next, landing on a rather large piece of ice – surprisingly enough, at the same time as Geoff. The two lovers quickly grabbed each other's arms as the platform wobbled, then shared a smile.

"Fancy meeting you here, mister," Bridgette said.

"You too, babe," Geoff replied. They leaned in for a kiss, but it was stopped prematurely when the floe they were on cracked in two. "Or not...," he said in disappointment as they began to drift away from one another.

"I guess we'll see each other later, then?" Bridgette added with a hopeful note. Geoff smiled and nodded, and the two jumped to the next pieces of ice.

"Ice floe to ice floe, it's really quite nice though," Ella sang to herself while leaping gracefully across the ice. She started to slip on one, but managed to turn it into a spin into yet another leap. After landing on the next piece, she looked around thoughtfully. "Now where should I go next?"

"How about out of the _way_?" Scott said snidely as he landed on the floe she was standing on and barged past to keep moving.

"Whoa-oa-oa!" Ella said as she slipped right off the ice and into the water.

"Ella?" Alejandro said as the shot cut to him landing on another piece of ice and looking to his left, away from the camera. The perspective switched to show the princess floating in the water a little ways away, then changed again to show Alejandro leaping off in that direction to a triumphant piece of background music.

xxx

"Ella is someone I _enjoy_ playing the game alongside," Alejandro explained in the restroom confessional. "So of _course_ I'm going to help her out of danger. I _am_ a gentleman, after all."

xxx

The shot cut back to Ella, who suddenly smiled as she was lifted out of the water; the camera pulled back to show her sitting on the shoulders of a polar bear. "Oh, hello mister bear!" she said sweetly. "Thank you so much for rescuing me!"

The bear looked angry for a moment, then smiled as a few touching notes played. It growled softly, then carried her over to the next ice floe and let her jump off.

"Qué?" Alejandro said in shock as the camera quick-panned back to him. Too distracted by the sudden turn of events, he slipped on the ice and fell into the water as well. "Great," he muttered as he started swimming towards the nearest ice floe, but the polar bear suddenly rose up out of the water behind him. "I...don't suppose you'd like to give me some assistance?" the charmer asked with a cautious smile. The bear looked like it was considering it for a moment before it looked down at its growling stomach, then back up at Alejandro. It growled, and the young man swam away in terror.

/

The scene flashed back to Scarlett and Sugar as the two girls jumped from ice to ice along two separate 'paths'. They paused when they heard Alejandro scream behind them off-camera, and Sugar chuckled.

"Guess he ain't as charmin' as he thinks," she told her teammate.

"Perhaps," Scarlett said idly, "but we still need to keep an eye on him. To that end...," she stifled a sigh, "I think we should align with one another."

Sugar immediately laughed. " _Me_? In an alliance with _you_? Now why would I do that?"

" _Because_ ," the evil genius hissed in annoyance, "with Dawn and Samey together and Alejandro working Ella, we have no other viable option!"

The pageant queen raised an eyebrow. "Uhh, I think you mean _Ella_ is workin' _Al_."

Scarlett palmed her face. "That doesn't matter! The point is, if we _don't_ team up the others will vote us out!"

Sugar frowned. "Well that doesn't make sense! You're gonna have to be more convincin'." She turned and hopped to the next ice floe, leaving Scarlett to growl in annoyance.

xxx

Sugar began her confessional with a giggle. "Actually, I _do_ understand what Scarlett's sayin'. But since everybody seems to think I'm dumb, I figured I'd play along with it."

xxx

The footage cut back to a group of ice floes close to the far shore as DJ happily and easily ran across them. "Not too far from the sleds!" he said aloud. "Sweet!"

Elsewhere, Alejandro was struggling to swim in the icy water. "H-have to k-keep moving," he said to himself through chattering teeth. He reached the edge of a floe, and was offered a hand by someone just off-screen. He grabbed it without thinking, and only when the camera pulled back did he look up and see that it was Bridgette. "W-why didn't you just leave me?" he asked in surprise.

"I may not like you," she told the villain as she pulled him out of the water, "but that doesn't mean I want you to become an _ice cube_."

"...thank you," he said once he'd gotten back on his feet.

/

Back at the shoreline, Shawn jumped off a final hunk of ice and landed in a roll. He quickly looked to his left and right, then muttered "Okay, no zombies in sight. Should be safe to keep movin'."

"Watch out, yo!" a holler came from behind him, and the camera followed the survivalist's gaze backwards to see Ezekiel flying towards him. Both boys screamed right before they collided and rolled into a snow drift.

Shawn quickly raised an arm out of the chilly mound and gave Ezekiel a muffled "Thanks."

The homeschooler popped his head out and replied, "Well I warned ya, eh."

/

"We're almost there!" Sammy exclaimed excitedly, pointing at the shore from somewhere else along the half-frozen river. "You need any help with these jumps?" She looked back over her shoulder, and the camera quick-panned to Dawn who was standing in the middle of a relatively isolated floe.

"Thank you, but I don't believe that's necessary," the mystic told her friend as the hunk of ice she was standing on floated past Sammy. The cheerleader smiled, then sprung over the gap to her own next floe.

/

The scene flashed to Sierra jumping to an ice floe and then to shore as the camera panned to the right a little showing Chris watching nearby. "I did it!" she cheered upon landing on the shore. "Yay me!"

"Good job," the host told her as she began to run off. "And lucky you, DJ got here first!"

"Smiley face!" the superfan paused to clap excitedly.

"Yeah, he's on dog duty, so you get to kick back and enjoy the ride!" Chris added as the shot changed to show the gentle giant next to the tow harness of the newest-looking sled as Sierra ran up; he seemed to be sobbing into his hands.

"Let me guess," Sierra asked her teammate as she got in the sled and put on a furry Russian ushanka hat, "you miss your Momma?"

"All this ice is just like her freezer!" DJ explained between sobs as a touching tune played.

"Thought so," Sierra said with a hint of a sigh. "You _always_ cry when you're homesick, and being in Canada isn't helping."

"Yeesh," Chris said softly as the scene cut back to him, a tenser riff playing as Scarlett and Sugar ran past him; they were shown skidding to a stop in front of the old-fashioned sled at around the same time.

"Scarlett, first member of your team to arrive," Chris said while walking over to them, "grab a sled and start pullin'."

"Umm, what?" the evil genius asked flatly. "Sugar and I arrived simultaneously, if anything we should _both_ pull the sled."

"Yeaaaaaah, _no_ ," the host said bluntly. "In the event of a tie, we go alphabetically."

"You heard the man," Sugar told her teammate while quickly stepping into the sled, "get to doggin'!" Scarlett growled her annoyance, but the pageant queen ignored it in favor of grinning at her furry hat. "And hey, if you do a good job _pullin_ '," she told the brainiac, "maybe I'll join your alliance!"

Scarlett grit her teeth and stomped towards the sled's harness.

The shot cut to Lightning and Tyler racing from the shore to the sleds; just as they past Chris, Tyler tripped and slid ahead of his teammate.

"Oh yeah, I made it!" he said excitedly as got to the final sled first and promptly bumped into it; radiation warning signs were plastered to the sides of the crate and tanks that made up the bulk of the sled.

"You better do a good job pullin', New Guy," Lightning said with a scowl as he ran up.

Tyler looked from the uber-jock back to the sled, and gasped upon noticing the black-and-yellow insignias. "Is the box radioactive?" he asked the host.

"Ehh, what _isn't_ radioactive these days?" Chris told him.

"Aww man," Lightning griped, "we gotta use this thing? Sha-dang _ice_ slowin' Lightning down..." He kicked the side of the box, causing Tyler to gasp and flinch.

"Ahh, there, finally!" DJ said in relief as the shot cut back to him fastening the snaps of his harness. He started running, and the sled was pulled smoothly behind him.

"Oh em gee, Team Chris for the _win_!" Sierra cheered as her teammate pulled her through a few trees and past Team Universe.

"How is this thing meant to be _oriented_?" Scarlett growled as she tried to put her own harness on.

"Who _cares_?" Sugar told her. "Just put it on already so we can catch up!" Scarlett growled in frustration as she slung the harness onto her back and put her arms through it.

Tyler was shown putting his harness on next, and with a cry of "Sha-mush!" from Lightning he started to run as well, and soon past Scarlett and Sugar.

"What're you waitin' for?" the pageant queen demanded. "Get ta mushin' already!"

"I _know_ ," Scarlett shot back as she finally fastened the harness on and started to run as well, "I'm _going_!"

"Faster!" Sugar commanded, holding up a long whip. "Don't make me hafta use this!"

"You wouldn't dare!" Scarlett replied angrily as she pulled the sled past Chris, who was watching in the foreground.

"Will _anyone_ survive the coldest challenge in Total Drama history?" he asked the camera. "Place your bets and cross your fingers. The results, after this."

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The footage resumed on a long-distance shot of Dawn and Sammy walking across the snowy tundra together.

"W- _wow_ , it's cold out here," the cheerleader said as she shivered along. "I wish I had a sweater like you instead of my cheer uniform. A bare midriff _really_ isn't helping me right now."

"Don't worry," Dawn said, quickly stepping closer to her friend so that they were touching each other, "I'll help keep you warm." The two girls smiled at one another, but broke eye contact as slight blushes formed on their cheeks.

/

A flash took the scene to Team Victory's sled as they made their way across the landscape. Lightning was shown shielding the sun from his eyes as he looked around, and finally perked up and pointed off-screen. "There's one of our dudes!" he said, the camera quick-panning over to reveal Ezekiel waiting next to one of the meeting point flags.

"You want me to slow down?" Tyler asked as he started to veer left.

"Heck no!" Lightning answered before cupping his hands around his mouth "Jump on, Homeschool!" he shouted to Ezekiel as the sled drew closer.

"Aww, really guys?" Ezekiel said in annoyance as the sled past him. He ran to catch up, and finally managed to jump on the back of it. "Okay homies, I'm on," he told his teammate.

"Good," Lightning said before turning his attention back to Tyler. "Now hustle, New Guy, _hustle_!" The shot panned over to Tyler, who frowned in annoyance.

xxx

"As Team Captain," Lightning explained, leaning towards the restroom camera, "it is _Lightning's_ job to make sure the team is bringin' their A-game. But New Guy," he scoffed, "Lightning's surprised he has any game at _all_."

xxx

"Look, there's Beardo!" Sierra exclaimed as the scene moved back to Team Chris as they approached their hairy cohort. True to their strategy, the beatboxer wasn't at one of the designated meeting points, and in fact had been running through the woods himself when the sled caught up to him. "Hop on!" Sierra said as DJ pulled the sled alongside Beardo and slowed down a little.

Beardo made a cash register-like sound as he got on the sled, and DJ stepped up his pace again. "Alright," the beatboxer said, "just Shawn and Bridgette left to find, and then we're home free."

Sierra cringed just before a sob was heard from DJ. "You probably shouldn't have said that," she whispered to Beardo with her hand shielding her mouth. "DJ's pretty _homesick_ right now." Beardo's eyebrow shot up, and he made a quick 'wailing trumpet' sort of sound.

/

The background music picked up slightly as the scene flashed back to Team Universe. "Have you seen anyone yet?" Scarlett asked impatiently.

"I've seen you," Sugar answered with a nearly-suppressed giggle.

"I meant _besides_ the two of us," the brainiac corrected.

"Oh, well in that case," the pageant queen said as Sammy and Dawn ran up behind them, "yeah!"

" _Finally_ ," Scarlett muttered, slowing down and looking back over her shoulder to see the two blondes hop on to the sled.

/

"You don't have to follow me y'know," Bridgette told Alejandro as the two walked up to a meeting point flag. "I mean, we _are_ on different teams."

"You're heading straight for the finish line, right?" Alejandro asked, to which Bridgette just nodded and continued to shiver. "Then I think I shall do the same. It _is_ an intelligent plan after all, at least if we can make it all that way."

"Hah!" the surfer scoffed. "Don't act like you're not cold, I _saw_ you shivering when I pulled you out of the river."

"That was then," the charmer explained. "My _Latin blood_ has warmed me back up since."

"Oh really?" Bridgette retorted. "Are you sure it wasn't all that _hot air_ you're full of?"

"Oho, such a _witty_ comeback!" Alejandro said with a short chuckle. "You humble me, Bridgette." The surfer just rolled her eyes.

xxx

"Honestly, he hasn't changed a _bit_ since season one," Bridgette told the restroom camera. "If anything, he's become _more_ of a flirt. Too bad for him it'll never work on me."

xxx

"Okay, I can _not_ believe that," Sierra said to Beardo as the scene cut back to them getting pulled along in their sled. "I mean, even for him that seems a little much."

Beardo nodded. "Needless to say, that song was _awful_."

"Uh, seriously you guys, I can't _see_!" DJ spoke up as a few dramatic beats played.

"Wait, really?" Sierra asked in confusion and alarm. "Why not?"

"My tears froze my eyes shut!" the gentle giant explained.

Beardo quickly looked around, and made a few rapid dings of alarm. "Guys, I don't see the path anywhere!"

"DJ, you have to _stop_! We don't know where we are!" Sierra commanded. The brickhouse gasped and skidded to a halt, the sled slowing down gently behind him. "Beardo, try and find the path," Sierra said, earning a salute from the hairy boy. "I'll help DJ!" She jumped from the sled, ran over to her teammate, and started trying to rub his frozen-shut eyes.

"Jeez, watch it!" DJ cried.

/

A flash took the scene to Shawn, who was currently looking out over the landscape from the top of a pine tree. "Hold on," he said, his eyes briefly widening before he squinted and shielded the sun from his eyes, "is that...?" He dropped down from his perch, and the shot cut to him landing in the snow just as his team's sled pulled up to it from the right.

"What happened?" he asked as he hopped on the sled behind Beardo. "Why are you guys so far from the trail?"

"DJ had some, umm, _eye_ problems," Sierra explained, "but he's okay now."

"I'm really sorry!" DJ said, his eyes wide open as he pulled.

"You're lucky I was looking for a shortcut," Shawn told his teammates. "By the way, the finish line is in _that_ direction." He pointed back over his shoulder, and the shot pulled back as Team Chris went off-screen, then came back on it heading in the right direction.

"Whoops," Beardo told an annoyed-looking Sierra.

/

The shot cut back to Bridgette and Alejandro as they trudged across the tundra. The camera cut in to a close-up of them shivering, but the sound of an engine caused the shot to zoom back out a little as Chris drove up on a red snowmobile.

"Oh my," he said with a deliberate slowness, "what do we have here? A couple of lovebirds looking for some privacy?"

"What?!" Bridgette exclaimed in outrage. "No _way_. You _know_ I have a boyfriend."

"It's true," Alejandro explained, "we just happen to be headed for the finish line together."

"I _see_...," the host said, rubbing his chin in thought. "You know what would help ease the tension between you two?" he asked, the two campers sharing a look of dread. "A _song_!" At Chris' excited announcement, the music note symbol appeared on-screen with its usual dings.

"Oh no, seriously?!" the surfer groaned.

"Just the two of us?" Alejandro asked. "Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure," Chris said excitedly. "gotta mix it up some times, and I _looove_ a good duet."

~/~

A slow piano tune began as the camera focused in on the two singers, and the background of trees and snowy hills began to fade.

"You think that you know me," Alejandro sang slowly as he walked forward while holding his arms close to his body, gaining a slight lead on Bridgette.

"You haven't changed a bit," Bridgette answered with a dirty look as she quickly caught up and even got a few steps past the boy.

"But you can't see through me," Alejandro sang, regaining his slight lead.

"Yeah, I'm not buying it!" Bridgette responded, getting ahead once more as the background faded completely into a pale blue color that rapidly got darker until it was nearly black.

"How can I trust you after everything you've done?" Bridgette sang as the two walked against a backdrop of several clips from previous seasons – a rapid montage of Alejandro duping Ezekiel, Sierra, Beardo, and Dakota; scheming with Jo and Scarlett; and forcing Chef into an illegal alliance.

"That's in the past," Alejandro sang, the montage seemingly getting ripped away by the sound of his voice.

"It doesn't matter now... 'cause a _new game_ has begun!"

They continued along in relative silence for a few seconds, the piano music leading in to the next verse.

"I can't let you hurt her," Bridgette sang as the two walked up to a snowman shaped suspiciously like Ella holding her hands over her heart, eyes closed and a smile on her face.

"But Ella knows her heart," Alejandro replied, grasping the snow princess's hands with his own.

"You'll lie then desert her," Bridgette sang, the snowman unceremoniously falling apart into a pile of snow.

"Not if she plays her part!" Alejandro answered, giving the pile a sad look before he started moving away from it and the background began to fade to white.

"I'd rather not drop her until the game is fin'ly won," the charmer continued as a montage of his interactions with Ella played on the backdrop, starting with their meeting on the red carpet and ending with his readiness to save her after she'd fallen into the icy river.

"I won't believe," Bridgette sang, a shake of her head seemingly scattering the backdrop and allowing the actual landscape to be seen again.

"'Cause that's so far away... and the new game's just begun!"

"We'll wait and see, how ev'rything turns out...," the two slowly sang together as they walked a few more steps. They paused suddenly and looked back over their shoulders., and the camera quickly panned over to show Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean approaching on their sled. The camera promptly cut back to the two singers.

"But for now it seems I've won!" Bridgette sang with a bright smile on her face.

"But for now it seems you've won!" Alejandro sang at the same time, but with a noticeable frown.

The piano faded out as Team Chris pulled up to the two, and Bridgette hopped on the sled.

~/~

"Aww, no!" Alejandro groaned, slumping a little as he watched Team Chris speed off.

"Sucks to be you right now," Chris said, riding up again on his snowmobile. "Guess you're stuck walking to the finish line alone. Unless you can find your _team_ , of course."

"I don't suppose you'll tell me where they are?" Alejandro asked with hope in his voice.

"Haha, no way dude!" the host laughed. "You're on your own. Good luck!" He promptly sped away, leaving Alejandro to groan again.

/

"So what was _that_ about anyway?" Shawn asked Bridgette as the shot cut to Team Chris.

"Just Chris forcing me and Alejandro to sing, it was no big deal," the surfer explained.

"Huh," Sierra said, "I was _wondering_ when the musical number would come up."

"Nice to know it's been taken care of," DJ said as he continued to run along, pulling the sled behind him. His teammates nodded and murmured their agreement, but the camera cut in close to Bridgette's face as she sent a sad look behind them.

/

"It's about time!" Scott told his teammates as Tyler pulled Team Victory's sled up to the meeting point he'd been shivering next to. "I thought I was gonna freeze to the pole!"

"Sorry guy, I got here as fast as I could," Tyler told Scott as the latter hopped on to their sled.

"Well get to the next dude _faster_!" Lightning commanded.

The footage flashed forward to show Team Victory in motion once again, the three members riding the radioactive 'sled' actively looking around for their final member.

"Hey look!" Ezekiel said excitedly, pointing off into the distance. "I think I see Geoff over there, eh!" The camera quick-panned forward, showing the party boy standing with his back to the sled with a look of concern on his face.

"I'm on it!" Tyler exclaimed as the focus cut back to the sled. He clenched his eyes shut in determination as he sped up, a victorious tune playing as the camera pulled back to show the sled rapidly approaching the flag pole that marked the meeting point.

Geoff finally turned around and noticed his team barreling towards him, and ducked to the side with a panicked yelp. Tyler, unable to see where he was going, promptly crashed straight into the pole...and was hit by the sled moments later, forcing it to a stop and him to gasp in pain.

"Whoa, dude, you guys came outta nowhere!" Geoff exclaimed as he hopped on the sled and Tyler got back up and shook his head.

"Yeah, but we gotta go _somewhere_ ," Lightning said, "so get movin', New Guy!"

"I'm _am_ moving," Tyler said wearily as the focus cut back to him making all the right motions for running. The shot pulled out again, showing that he was going nowhere – his shoes seemed to have no traction and were just squeaking against the ice. "But my court shoes are no good on ice!" he explained in a frustrated tone. He stopped, then added "If the contest was pulling a sled across a volleyball court, we would have already won!"

A few dramatic notes played as the shot zoomed out even further and Team Chris ran across the screen several yards in front of the stunned Team Victory.

/

A flash took the scene to Ella, standing alone by a meeting point and humming to herself. She opened her eyes at the sound of a sled approaching, and said "Hi everyone!" as the shot pulled back to show most of Team Universe pulling up to her.

"Hop on already!" Sugar commanded. "We ain't got all day!"

"But of course!" Ella said, complying happily. "Looks like we've nearly reunited our whole team!"

"Yes," Dawn said as Scarlett started pulling the sled again, "all we have to do now is find Alejandro and get to the finish line."

"Oh, I hope he's alright," Ella said with a look of concern.

/

The shot cut to the handsome young man in question, shivering as he trudged through the snow and ice. He looked up and saw a meeting point, then ran towards it with a smile. "Finally! I _never_ should have followed Bridgette."

/

Another flash put the focus on Tyler as he struggled to pull the rest of Team Victory over a narrow icy arch.

"Dude, come _on_ ," Geoff said in an antsy tone, hopping from foot to foot with his hands over his crotch. "I gotta take a whizz, and I don't wanna have to do it out here!"

A few dramatic notes played as the camera zoomed in on the ice they were standing on just as cracks started to form in it. "Yeah, I think we gotta get-" Ezekiel said frantically as the shot panned up to show him looking down at the ice with wide eyes. He was interrupted as the shot zoomed out to show the ice below the sled breaking away, but managed to finish with "Moving!" as he, Geoff, Scott, and Lightning fell, the other three boys screaming for their lives.

As he was attached to the sled by a rope, Tyler was thus yanked along with them as they fell. The shot zoomed in to the edge of the broken ice as he slid past, arms out in front as they tried to grab hold...which they finally did. The viewpoint moved to the bottom of the icy valley they had been crossing, showing the human chain that Team Victory had become: Geoff hanging onto Ezekiel hanging onto Scott hanging onto Lightning hanging onto the sled tied to Tyler who was holding them all up.

xxx

"I've got wicked strong fingers,' Tyler explained in the restroom confessional, looking at his digits with a proud smile. "Docs can't explain it! My first piano lesson, I broke the piano. Got into sports after that."

xxx

Dramatic music rose in the background as the scene cut back to Team Universe.

"Anybody see him?" Sammy asked as she, Dawn, and Ella scanned their surroundings.

"I see the finish line!" Sugar announced as she excitedly pointed ahead of them. "And nobody else is around! We're gonna come in first place again!"

"Shouldn't we wait for Alejandro?" Ella asked. "I don't want to leave him behind."

"He'll understand," the pageant queen said with a scowl as she turned her head back forward. "Now keep movin' straight forward, Scarlett! _Mush_!" The camera panned forward to the evil genius, who grit her teeth in frustration.

/

Back with Team Victory, the music took a tense turn as the boys climbed up one by one. "Thanks for savin' us, dude," Geoff told Tyler as he climbed over the jock and onto the ice.

"Yeah, eh," Ezekiel added as he followed suit.

"Who'd've guessed you had it in you?" Scott said with a smirk as he pulled himself up.

"Maybe you aren't so bad after all, New Guy!" Lightning added as he was shown joining the other three on top of the icy cliff.

"Th-thanks," Tyler told them, struggling to pull the sled up as well. He finally managed to get it back over the edge, but in doing so caused it to fly forward over him. His teammates cheered as the sled landed by them, and they quickly grabbed on as it slid along. "Ow-ow!" Tyler cried in pain, bouncing and tumbling as he was dragged along behind them.

The viewpoint changed to a long-distance shot of the finish line, where Team Universe was quickly approaching with Team Chris not too far behind – and Team Victory rapidly entered the shot from the slope on the left.

"Aww man," Lightning said, "we're in last!"

"Quick," Ezekiel said, "everybody lean forward!" The other boys complied, and the sled seemed to speed up – with Tyler still dragging behind them, even smacking into an icy crag.

The shot focused in on the finish line just as Team Universe crossed it and cheered; mere seconds later, the speeding sled of Team Victory passed Team Chris and stole second from them.

"Yeah, dudes!" Geoff cheered, the camera showing that they'd finally stopped. Ezekiel and Scott cheered as well while Lightning just crossed his arms and looked unimpressed. The shot panned to the left, where Tyler stuck his arm out of the snow and cheered as well.

"Aww, what?" DJ said, his team stopped just past the finish line. "We got _last_?"

"I can't believe it," Bridgette said sadly as Beardo chimed in with a 'sad trombone' effect.

"Actually," Chris corrected, "Team Universe crossed the finish line _without_ Alejandro," the shot pulled out to confirm the charmer's absence, "so _they_ come in last."

"Aww, fudge knuckles...," Sugar said with a snap of her fingers as her teammates also expressed their disappointment.

"Which means Team Chris is Really Really Really _Wicked_ Mean is in second place, and Team _Victory_ takes first," the host added.

The five boys immediately began celebrating, with Geoff high-fiving the others and Lightning walking over to Tyler as the boy pulled himself out of the snow.

"Guess you did good today, New Guy," the uber-jock said as he helped pull the lesser-jock up. "Maybe Lightning underestimated you."

"You really mean that?" Tyler said excitedly.

"Don't get too excited," the overachiever said sternly, "Lightning is _still_ sha-better than you." He walked away, leaving Tyler to frown.

xxx

"I can't believe the team _lost_ because of _me_!" Alejandro exclaimed. "This just doesn't _happen_! I could understand if it had been due to Scarlett not pulling hard enough, or Sugar getting her _tongue_ stuck to a _pole_ , but this?!" He groaned and palmed his face. "It's gonna take a _lot_ of work to make sure I don't get voted off."

xxx

A few dramatic notes played over a shot of the jumbo jet flying through the air. The camera cut inside to the elimination room, where the six members of Team Universe were sitting before Chris.

"Team Universe! I have peanut-filled barf bags for all but one of you." the host opened with a motion to the tray sitting next to him. "Dawn and Samey, you're safe," he said as he tossed the first two bags to the blondes who caught them easily and shared a smile. "Sugar, Ella, so are you." The singer and pageant star also accepted their prizes with a smile.

"That leaves us with just Alejandro and Scarlett on the chopping block," Chris said as a few more dramatic notes played over the worried faces of the two villains. "Alejandro, it's no secret that you messed up today. By choosing to follow Bridgette instead of look for your team, you caused them to come in last place, and thus end up here. It's gonna be hard to win back what little trust they had in you in the first place." Alejandro hung his head and groaned.

"As for Scarlett, you're up for elimination because, well, nobody really likes you," the host admitted with a frown as he idly tossed the final barf bag in one hand. "You proved yourself to be a major menace last season, and it seems like everyone's afraid of what you'll do next. So much so, in fact, that the only person who _didn't_ vote for you, was _you_." The evil genius gasped as a devilish smile formed on Alejandro's face, the handsome boy quickly catching the bag of peanuts that was thrown at him.

"That's right, you're out," Chris said as Scarlett stood up, nostrils flaring and fists clenched with rage.

A moment of silence passed, then... "PSYCHE!" The host's sudden proclamation was accompanied by a quick blow on a party horn. "Yeah, this wasn't actually an elimination challenge, you're all safe," he told the stunned teens. "Although now that Scarlett knows how you all feel, maybe you _aren't_ , haha." The focus moved back to the brainiac as she turned around and faced her team, visibly seething with enough fury to make all of them nervous.

"Anyway-" the host continued before he noticed Chef walking up behind him. "If we're both here," he asked, "who's flying the plane?"

"I have it covered," Chef answered.

/

The shot cut to the inflatable balloon version of Chef Hatchet floating in the copilot's seat in the cockpit. "I repeat," came a voice over the radio, "uncharted aircraft this is a no-fly zone, over." Obviously, the balloon gave no response. "...Hello?"

/

"Just wanted to tell you that I gave the winnin' team their reward," Chef told the host.

"Awesome," Chris said before turning back to Team Universe. "So while Team Victory enjoys their reward in _first_ class, the six of you get to enjoy more time together in _loser_ class. Have fun!" He laughed as he walked off with Chef, leaving Scarlett to glare angrily at the teammates who'd just tried to vote her off.

xxx

"I really shouldn't be surprised," the brainiac seethed in the restroom confessional. "But this just gives me all the motivation I need to work _harder_. If they wanted me gone, they just lost their only chance. And don't think I'm done with _Sugar_ yet, either."

xxx

/

A relaxing yet triumphant song begun to play as the camera panned through the first class seating area, showing the members of Team Victory enjoying mugs of hot chocolate and what looked like some kind of dog sledding movie on a hanging TV screen. The shot zoomed in on Tyler as he leaned back in his seat, put his hands behind his head, and sighed happily.

xxx

"Well, I _totally_ rocked it today," he told the restroom camera. "I saved everyone's lives with my bare fingers." He looked at his fingers, then raised his arms and looked up. " _Everyone_ is gonna know who Tyler is now. Hoo! Mission accomplished." He crossed his arms and nodded in satisfaction.

A loud buzzer startled him, and the restroom door suddenly opened to reveal Lightning. "Whoops, didn't notice ya New Guy," he told his teammate before leaving.

Tyler groaned, and another buzzer heralded the arrival of Chris McLean. "Will the New Guy _ever_ earn the respect of his teammates," the host asked, leaning into the restroom.

"I have a _name_ y'know!" Tyler protested.

"Find out next time," Chris winked, "on Total!" The shot cut outside the plane, showing most but not all of it. "Drama!" Another zoom-out as the season's dramatic musical signature played showed the whole of the jet. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" The camera zoomed out even further from the plane as it wobbled slightly.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

The Yukon has come and gone, and surprisingly enough works pretty well in the earlier slot. Why did I move it up? Because I decided that I wanted it to be a reward, and that moving up would give everyone one more episode with most of the characters in it before the next elimination. Why didn't I just make Japan the reward challenge instead? Well, I felt it would work better for the second actual vote to happen there - you'll find out why when that episode comes up.

This week's song is titled 'A New Game has Begun', and I gotta say I'm not sure it isn't cringe-worthy. It's the first one that's majorly deviated from the source song for the episode, and as such might be a taste of other songs later on that get changed drastically as well. It took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to do with it, but I'm not certain if it actually works since nothing new really comes out of it. But, well, I guess that's something I need to hear from all you reviewers out there. Incidentally, the next songs for the next two episodes will be closer to their canon counterparts.

Other than that, I think the episode was pretty okay but not astounding. Adapting Tyler's canon subplot to fit his new circumstances worked out pretty well, as did the look at Scarlett and Sugar working together. DJ being homesick felt a little awkward in the re-read, but it still makes sense, I think, given who he is. Hopefully you all think so as well.

And, of course, we have our first fake vote-out, of what will no doubt be many. Gotta keep you all on your toes!

As always, let me know what you thought of the episode, and I'll see you all next week!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)


	4. Chapter 4 - Super Happy Fun Time Japan

**Author's Note**

Holy cow, folks, things are getting super excited on my end! Not only am I really liking how episode five turned out, but The Ridonculous Race starts next Monday in the USA! For those not already in the know, make sure to tune in to Cartoon Network at 5:00 PM EST for the first episode, with the second to be aired at 5:30. After that, new episodes will be airing at 5:00 PM every weekday until the season is over! It's gonna be _awesome_!

Meanwhile, this week's episode will be taking the contestants to Japan. Which, of course, means that I've really only switched it and the Yukon episode around rather than doing any major rearranging. Honestly, this is what most of the re-ordering is gonna be since i don't want to have to rewrite challenges too much.

But that probably doesn't matter right now. On to the reviews!

 **Boggie445:** Cool, I hope it was worth it!

 **aloasa:** I'm glad you liked the song last episode! As for Scarlett's mood, only time will tell...and Japan, of course, is this week if you haven't already noticed. I hope you enjoy it!

 **Guest #1:** Honestly, I have absolutely no idea on the specifics of Alejandro's settlement, it's just such a low priority thing for me to think about now. Sorry. And yeah, I am definitely looking forward to the final three seasons since they'll be much shorter.

 **Zak Saturday:** Haha, I'm glad you liked it! Honestly, I knew pretty early on that I wanted Team Universe to lose last time, and from there it was pretty obvious that it should be Alejandro's fault, both to give an ironic sort of echo to canon events and to give a plausible second option for elimination, even though that too was gonna be a fake-out from the start. And Team Victory winning was basically just me thinking that they should catch a break after doing the 'lean forward to go faster' thing.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Thanks, I'm glad you liked the song last episode. As for what's gonna happen next with Scarlett and her teammates...well, you'll see sooner or later.

 **Joel Connell:** Glad you're fine with my decision to eliminate Staci first again. You're right that she doesn't seem to have much going for her, unlike Ezekiel and Beardo (although I believe you mean one-dimensional, not two-dimensional). That aside, I'm glad you like that I'm shaking things up a bit!

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** Ah, right, my apologies. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I'm glad you like DJ and Sammy as a couple!

 **BuckJohnson:** Ezekiel's crush on Bridgette is definitely something I'm thinking about in the coming chapters. Don't look too much into DJ's homesickness, though. That aside, I hope you enjoy the season!

 **Karts of Sugar Rush:** Well, you'll get some of that stuff this week! The stuff you expected for Japan, anyway. Super glad you liked the chapter, though, considering how ambivalent I was feeling about it myself. And I can definitely see what you mean about the song echoing 'Steven's Lament'. I wasn't watching it while I thought the song up, but I do like it and it's entirely possible that it subconsciously influenced last episode's song. As for Geoff...while he was definitely worried about Bridgette when he was getting picked up, I don't think it was because he could see and/or hear her singing with Alejandro.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Alejandri and Ella? Who knows, except kinda me I guess. Glad you're liking Sugar's strategy, as well as the fluff between Geoff and Bridgette. And the rest, of course.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Yeah, I figured putting a reward on episode three would be a bit sketchy, especially since in-show Chris wanted to really emphasize the 'anything can happen' aspect in canon with three eliminations in a row. Well, I think my plan will still work out.

 **bruno14:** Glad to hear it! Glad you liked the duet as well. And yeah, Scarlett getting everyone's votes wasn't surprising, but it was something that needed to happen. As for the relationship between Lightning and Tyler...well, you'll see eventually.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. He's not as alone (relatively speaking) as he was in canon, so even though he was homesick last episode it's not gonna last.

 **Knifez:** The fact that you were getting worried about Alejandro going home for a bit means I did good with last episode's elimination - I gotta keep people on their toes, after all. As for Tyler trying to prove himself, all I'll say for now is that it's not just gonna be a one-episode thing. And yeah, I can see what you're saying about songs not really working in fics unless you know the tune. And since I'm not really good at describing the tunes that I hear when I sing them in my head, the songs this season may not get all that better - for you, and for those like you at least. As for the Scarlett-Sugar alliance...well, I guess it's to be expected that not everyone is gonna like Scarlett's stay. Or Ella's, for that matter, though I'm strangely happy that you don't like the Alejandro-Ella pairing. And yeah, the screentime was pretty lopsided last time...not quite sure how it is this episode, but I am absolutely confident that next week's episode is gonna be amazing in that respect - I swear, it's like I was on fire while writing episode five.

 **FOWLKON:** Haha, I'm glad you both caught and like those gags! Regarding Geoff and Bridgette...I definitely have some kind of drama in the works for them, but I doubt I'll go so far as to break them up. And while Alejandro and Bridgette having *something* almost has an appeal, I don't think it'll work in this universe. I'm glad you're liking what's going on with Team Universe, by the way, and Tyler too.

 **Ddynamo:** Huh, lucky hunch I guess. As for something foreboding happening this season...

 **DSX62415:** Hey, I'm glad you liked it!

 **The Prime Writer:** Haha, yeah, the amount of reviews this chapter has been getting has been nearly overwhelming...but I'll deal with it, as I always have. It's super nice knowing so many people love this series of mine! And yeah, I noticed the mentions of Alejandro and Bridgette maybe hooking up this season or something in that vein, though as I kinda told FOWLKON I'm not really sure that's the direction I'll be heading with them - it could lead to some fun moments, but I'm not sure it'll work with my other plans for the season. Sorry if I'm spoiling this, or bursting someone's bubble. And I am super happy I kinda stumbled on the notion of Tyler trying to get his teammate's respect, it's been an amazing direction to take him in so far. As for, well, most of the others who haven't gotten a lot of focus so far, I will be trying to rectify that in the coming weeks.

 **OMAC001:** You mean like how I format the intro fully detailed intro sequences? Yeah, I like this idea, so I decided to try it out this chapter and the next. If it works, I'll keep going with it.

 **Ruffhero77:** Haha, glad I was able to fake you out then! And yeah, I felt the same way about last episode's song though I am glad that several other reviewers liked it. As for why Bridgette was looking back sadly at Alejandro...well, perhaps I'll be able to answer that in the future. Other than that, glad you're (mostly) happy with how last week's episode turned out, and I hope you like this week's even better!

 **RedHornedUnicowz:** Haha, you and Knifez both I think. Although the exact dynamic between Alejandro and Ella is something I've enjoyed playing with so far.

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, it's certainly not gonna be the last time episodes are out-of-canon-order this season, so keep that in mind. That aside, I'm glad you at least liked that Team Victory won and Team Universe lost, and I hope you like this week's chapter more.

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! And yeah, both destinations and eliminations are changed around, especially in the early parts of the season. But there's still the same number of people that need to be eliminated each quarter, so you will be able to predict how at least some of the episodes will end.

 **Guest #2:** Yeah, I know, both about the reviews inevitably exceeding the number TSA got and how The Ridonculous Race is looking to be amazing. I've said it before, but I'm probably not gonna make a Shuffled version of that show simply because with only four returning contestants there's probably not much I'll be able to change. And...thank you for the praise, I haven't been compared to Kobold Necromancer before but since he's one of the big fanfic names in this fandom I'll happily accept it.

 **Sleep Arypsure:** Oh, wow, yeah, it really has been a while hasn't it? No worries, though, I totally get that people get busy and thus don't have time to keep up with this. I'm glad you've liked this series, though, and that you're looking forward to seeing how Tyler and Ella do.

 **wifishark:** Yeah, pretty much. Filler though it may be from an elimination standpoint, every chapter has its merits in terms of character development and subplots and such. All in all, I'm glad you liked it and I hope you like this episode as well.

 **Ali6132:** Thanks! I'm glad to hear that yet another regular enjoyed the song last episode, as well as the direction I'm taking Tyler in right now.

And with that, the reviews are taken care of for the time being. The list of remaining contestants hasn't changed since last time, but I'll still post it to refresh everyone's memories.

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Lightning, Tyler, Geoff

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Bridgette, Shawn, Beardo, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Dawn, Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

All that said and done, it's time for this week's episode at last. Strap yourself in folks, because things are gonna get wild!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 4 – Super Crazy Happy Fun Time Japan**

"The Yukon!" Chris began, the recap opening with a panning shot of the tundra before flashing to a downward-panning shot of the ice-filled river the cast was to cross. "Canada's frozen gem! Here our competitors discovered the _thrill_ of ice floe jumping," shots were shown of Scarlett and Sugar's initial jumps onto the ice as well as Alejandro having a much easier time of it. "The _chill_ of dog sledding," Team Victory was shown passing Team Universe as the teams began to sled. "And the buzzkill of frigid romance," the host finished over clips of Bridgette and Geoff trying to kiss only for the ice floe they were standing on to break apart, and of Alejandro slipping into the water after he was shocked by a polar bear rescuing Ella before he could.

"In the end, nobody went home," Chris continued over the fake-out elimination and Scarlett's subsequent rage, "not that Team Universe didn't try. The Yukon!" he repeated over shots of Chef blowing the horn made of horn, a bull moose looking up, and Alejandro and Bridgette trudging through the snow and ice together. "Live the Adventure!"

"Where will we dump our remaining competitors this time?" Chris asked from the cockpit. "Find out right now, on Total!" A blaring note played as the shot zoomed out just past the windshield. "Drama!" A second note blared, and the entire plane was shown flying toward the camera. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" The final zoom-out showed a flock of birds flying across in a V-formation below the plane.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened on a shot of the jumbo jet as it flew to the right and experienced some minor turbulence. Inside, a bolt was shook loose and hit Scarlett on the head causing the girl to rub her head and glare at the ceiling. She was sitting against the left wall of the plane with most of her teammates to her right; only Sugar was absent from the line-up.

A metal nut fell as the shot panned across the room to Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean on the opposite wall.

"Okay," Shawn muttered to himself, "just ten more minutes before my next zombie check. Not gonna compromise our safety."

"Uhh, pretty sure our safety's _already_ compromised just bein' here," Beardo told him.

The music rose dramatically as the shot switched to an ominous patch of boards as a few of the smaller pieces began to fall to the floor, and with a great rumbling the larger ones got sucked out the hole they had been covering.

"See?" Beardo said in panic as the compartment began to decompress in a rather explosive manner. "What'd I tell you?"

Team Universe was shown straining to stay in their seats, Dawn having the most difficulty. "Oh my," she said in alarm as her body began to float a little. A few papers were shown getting sucked out of the hole, and the mystic turned herself around in mid-air and scrambled to get hold of her seat. "This isn't good!"

The background music peaked as she was about to go flying, then suddenly switched to a more lilting tune as Dawn's hands were suddenly grabbed by Sammy's. "Don't worry," the cheerleader told her friend, "I've got you!"

"Thanks," Dawn said, her smile getting replaced by growing dread as she noticed Sammy's seat belt straps start to tear. "But who has _you_?" The camera quickly cut to DJ as his eyes widened in fear.

"Oh em gee, this _definitely_ isn't good!" Sammy said in panic as she saw her straps as well, and the two girls began to shriek. The background music peaked as the straps finally tore completely, sending Dawn and Sammy flying off-screen...and the rush of air promptly stopped.

The sweet and lilting tune played again as the camera cut to the hole, revealing that DJ had, in a manner of speaking, caught the two girls before they'd been sucked out the plane. "I gotcha," the gentle giant said, wedged into the hole with Dawn under one arm and Sammy under the other – although the former's legs and latter's head seemed to be wedged in the hole as well.

"Wow," Sierra said blankly as the shot cut to the others with rather stunned looks on their faces. "I bet I could write a _week's_ worth of blog posts just on that alone."

"Quite impressive," Alejandro said, cracking a small smile. "Personally, I would've done it _without_ getting stuck."

"Uhh, okay, but...," DJ said distractedly.

"Pfft, I _seriously_ doubt you'd have been able to given the force of decompression we just experienced," Scarlett commented.

"Excuse me," Dawn tried to interrupt from off-screen.

"I disagree," Alejandro countered with an unamused expression, "it would've been _simple_ with the right placement."

"Guys!" DJ finally yelled, drawing the camera's focus back to him and his squirming friends. "Would you quit it with the jokes already? We need some _help_ over here!"

/

"Alright," Lightning said as the scene flashed to a close-up of him stretching his arms and getting out of his seat, "Lightning is ready to lead his to team to their next victory."

"How about a speech?" Scott suggested with a mocking smirk.

"Good idea, dude!" Geoff chimed in. "Speech!"

"Speech! Speech! Speech!" Geoff and Scott chanted, joined by Tyler and Ezekiel. Lightning grinned, then stood up on his seat and cleared his throat. A victorious piece of music started to play as he began to speak.

"Alright Team Victory, listen up! Today, we are gonna destroy the other teams no matter _what_ Chris sha-throws at us. We are gonna beat them both, and we are gonna come back to first class like we deserve." The camera quickly panned across the other boys as three looked at him in awe and Scott just smirked. "And you know why? Because we are Team _Victory_ , the best team there is. We are five dudes, and we are _strong_."

"To Team Dude!" Tyler said, sticking his hand into the middle of their group.

"Team Dude!" the others repeated as one as they put their hands on top of his and broke.

"Nice pep talk," Scott told the others. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go use the little _dude's_ room." He motioned over his shoulder with his thumb, then rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Just remember not to use the confessional one, eh," Ezekiel told him. "I made that mistake already."

"Uhh, right," Scott said, giving the homeschooler an odd look.

/

The scene flashed not to the bathroom, but to what looked like the cargo hold as a tense tune began to play. Sugar was already standing amongst the boxes with her arms crossed and an annoyed look on her face, and scowled even deeper when she saw Scott walking up to her.

"It's about time!" she berated him. "You told me to meet ya here five minutes ago!"

"I got held up by the others," Scott explained.

Sugar scoffed. " _Whatever_. If this is some kinda secret _admirer_ confession, I _ain't_ interested."

The farmer's brow shot up in confusion. "What? No! I just wanted to form a secret _alliance_ with you."

Sugar's eyes narrowed and she put her hands on her hips. "I'm listenin'..."

"Look, the others don't think much of us, right?" Scott explained in a hushed and conspiratorial tone, the camera moving closer to the two. " _Especially_ Al and Scarlett," he added, which earned a thoughtful nod from Sugar. "The way I see it, that puts the two of us in the best position to _dominate_ this game. If we work together, we can manipulate _both_ our teams and decide who wins and loses each challenge!"

"You mean we'll get to choose who has to vote someone out?" Sugar asked with a skeptical-yet-hopeful expression.

"Yup," Scott told her.

"Even if it's our own team?" Sugar followed up.

"Right again," Scott smirked.

"Then you got yerself a deal!" the pageant queen declared. She spat on her hand and offered it to the farmer, who accepted it without flinching.

xxx

"Getting Sugar in an alliance is just the first part of my strategy," Scott explained with a devious smile in the restroom confessional. "The _second_ part is using her as a _scapegoat_ in case somebody catches on."

xxx

"This is perfect!" Sugar smiled in the next confessional. "Now I got someone to help me get Ella voted out, _and_ someone to pin the blame on when it all turns to muck!"

xxx

"This is your Captain speaking," Chris's voice came over an intercom as the scene cut back to Sugar and Scott in the cargo hold. The focus moved to a nearby speaker as the host continued. "It's time for everyone to join me in the common area. And I mean _everyone_."

/

The scene flashed to a panning shot of the dining compartment, the teams already seated or standing around the two tables – Team Universe at the table closest to the host; Team Chris sharing a table with Team Victory further back.

"Welcome to today's challenge," Chris began. "It's-"

"Umm, is it a reward or an elimination?" Sammy asked.

"Good question Samey," the host told her, "aaaand like I'm gonna tell ya."

"There was a reward last time," Tyler told his teammates in a hushed voice, "so this has gotta be an elimination, right?"

"Yeah, probably," Ezekiel nodded. "I mean, it's not like there's gonna be two rewards in a row, right?"

"And I hope you all brought your giant radioactive monster repellant," Chris continued, "because, we are about to land in...," he raised his pointer fingers up, "JAPAN!" He quickly motioned to the doorway he was standing by, and Chef Hatchet suddenly broke through it, an orange martial arts uniform in place of his usual clothes and a katana clenched in his teeth.

"Once again," Scarlett said dryly, "you demonstrate _complete_ ignorance of the cultures you're forcing us to visit."

"Thank you Scarlett," Chris said dismissively. "Now as a reminder, anyone who doesn't sing-"

"For reference, Chef's uniform is of _Chinese_ origin," the brainiac continued. "They're so different that it would take-"

She was cut off when her collar suddenly electrocuted her, and the shot cut to the host holding his remote control with a scowl on his face. "Anyone who doesn't sing," he repeated forcefully, "is _immediately_ disqualified."

"I hate to say it," Ezekiel spoke up with a wary look at the slightly-smoking form of the evil genius, "but I'm pretty sure Scarlett's right, eh. You should really try harder with these facts, and-" As he spoke, Chris gave Chef and evil smirk with the hulking man eagerly returned. A fast-paced drumming tune played as Chef darted toward the side door, and the screen turned black. A few streaks of white crossed it in quick succession, each one accompanied by a metallic sound that implied the door being cut.

The footage resumed with a close-up of the door as Chef walked away from it. Despite the obvious slash marks it held its shape, but only for a second – the shot zoomed in dramatically as the door shattered and the pieces flew out into the open air. The plane began to shake, and the explosive decompression quickly sucked the contestants out of the jet; the camera cut outside to show Sierra, Scott, Bridgette, Ezekiel, and Scarlett fall back from the plane.

"Or we could've just landed the plane!" Chris said irately to Chef as both men held onto the doorway for dear life.

"Nah, too boring!" Chef told him.

/

Back outside, several campers were shown falling to their presumed dooms: Ezekiel, Sugar, and Tyler; Beardo, Bridgette, Sammy, and Sierra; Scarlett, Ella, and Scott. Their screaming was halted by the trademark dings of the music note icon in the corner of the screen, accompanied by an almost angelic rendition of the series' elimination theme.

""Seriously?!" Scott asked. "You want us to sing _now_?!"

The shot cut up to the doorway as Chris leaned out with a megaphone to his mouth. "Sing, and I might think about saving your musical buttocks! Maybe you'll try _harder_ this time, 'kay?"

~/~

" _We're falling on a sunny, sunny day;"_

[Ella opened to an elegant tune with a smile on her face.]

" _We may just hit the ground, lest we find some way to stop."_

[The camera zoomed out to show Alejandro falling next to her.]

" _But now it seems our dreams will fade away~!"_

[Alejandro sang before Beardo fell into view from above in the foreground and Ella and Alejandro fell down out of sight.]

" _We're fallin' fast, and scrollin' past us, lives we're sure we've loooost~!"_

[Beardo rapped before he too fell away from the camera. The music picked up, becoming deeper and more hectic.]

" _I remember! All the championships I've won!"_

[Lightning sang excitedly as the shot changed to his close-up. The camera zoomed out, putting the uber-jock in the background.]

" _I remember! All the pageants that I've done!"_

[Sugar sang next, entering the screen from below and moving to the center. Lightning dropped out of sight as the camera continued to move back.]

" _I remember telling Momma that I'd take her back home;"_

[DJ sang somberly, coming in from the left.]

" _I remember finally getting a surfboard of my own!"_

[Sugar dropped out of view as Bridgette sang, miming surfing as she entered the shot from the right. DJ fell and so did she as the hectic tune leveled out a little, and Dawn and Sammy dropped down from above.]

" _We really just can't help these things we see;"_

[The two blondes sang before separating as the camera pulled back from them and leaving the screen in opposite directions.]

" _Our memories are short, cause dudes, we're way too young to die!"_

[Geoff and Tyler sang as they, too dropped from above.]

" _And although Chris would prob'ly disagree;"_

[Sierra sang, flying into view from the lower left corner as the boys moved to the background.]

" _It sucks to sing for a life that's in front of your eyes!"_

[Shawn sang rapidly, sliding across the screen from the right after Geoff and Tyler abruptly dropped away and Sierra slid off to the left. The camera kept on Shawn as he joined Ezekiel, and he took him by the arm. The music became quieter, yet much more tense as the camera rapidly panned left, pausing on each contestant in turn who had joined hand-in-hand with one another.]

"I remember the farm, eh!" Ezekiel said.

"And shooting the rats!" Scott chimed in.

"I remember the singing!" Ella was next.

"My first physics class!" Scarlett added.

"I remember the parties!" Geoff continued.

"And all of the beats!" Beardo said.

"I remember my best goal!" Tyler declared.

"My bird friend's first tweets!" Dawn added.

"I remember my first kiss," Sammy said next.

"And then going steady!" Sierra continued.

"We don't wish to die, Chris!" Alejandro said. The camera abruptly cut to a shot of the entire cast in the circle, with Lightning, Sugar, DJ, and Bridgette bridging the gap between Alejandro and Shawn.

"SO SAVE US ALREADY!" the cast yelled together.

~/~

The music ended there, and the scene changed to a long-distance shot of the now-scattered cast falling and screaming through the air.

They landed in, of all things, a gigantic bowl of rice, with Ezekiel being the last one to plop into the grain about a half-second after the rest of the cast.

"Well _this_ definitely seems Japanese," Scarlett said dryly upon surfacing.

"Oh really?" Scott asked snidely, coming up next to her. "What makes you think that?"

"Prob'ly all the rice," Sugar said, popping out behind them, various other people's limbs sticking out around her. "They eat rice in Japan, right?"

"Among other things," Alejandro told her as he came up and took a breath. "Fortunately I know Japanese, in case we need it."

"Me too, eh," Ezekiel chimed in weakly, earning a skeptical look from the charming villain.

/

The footage skipped forward with a flash to a panning shot of the teams, now completely rice-free – Team Victory on the left, then Team Universe, and finally Team Chris. A gong sounding led into a quick 'Far East'-style theme, ending as the camera reached the host and the gong he was standing next to.

"Okay, our first challenge is inside a Japanese game show studio," Chris explained. "Bow down before...," he bowed as he spoke in a dramatic tone. The shot changed to a pair of odd structures which, upon the camera's rapid outward zoom, were revealed to be the flippers on a giant pinball machine. "Super Human Mega Pinball Smash!" the host said to a techno theme.

Tyler gasped in excitement. "I _love_ Japanese game shows!" he said, pumping his fist and whooping excitedly. "My favorite is 'Human Itchy My Car Go-Go'," he said to his teammates who were giving him odd looks, "where you gotta throw a _banana_ into a car window using a giant _shrimp fork_!" He mimed throwing the banana, then pumped his fist again. "This is _awesome_!"

He was startled by a sudden sounding of the gong. "Oh look," Chris smiled as the shot cut to him, "my own personal _geek_ gong! 'Kay, I'm gonna need one volunteer from each team to climb into these giant hamster balls," he explained as the camera cut to a line of three balls already loaded by the plunger, each one of the team's colors. "Then, your teammates are gonna beat you around the gameboard," the music became tenser as shots of the flippers and the playfield were shown, "scoring points by bouncing you off bumpers and posts." The scoreboard was shown with Team Chris' icon with the top row, Team Universe's with the middle, and Team Victory's with the bottom; close-ups of the various bumpers and such were shown as well.

"Most points win," Chris told them, "and I have a _special_ local surprise for each of you to share your little ball-shaped paradise with." The members of Team Chris were shown exchanging confused and skeptical looks. "So! Teams! Select a ball guy, or gal. Universe?"

"I'll do it," Alejandro and Sugar volunteered at the same time, prompting the two to look at one another.

"My apologies," the charmer said, "but I must _insist_ since I'm the most athletic member of our team."

"Athletic _nothin_ '," Sugar countered, " _I'm_ the one who's gonna be ridin' that hamster ball!"

xxx

"I've wanted to know what it was like inside one of those things ever since I saw one on TV," Sugar explained in the restroom confessional. "I bet the whole _world_ looks different when yer rollin' around!" She spread her arms wide as a grin formed on her face.

xxx

"Very well," Alejandro told the glaring pageant queen, "I'll let Sugar do it."

"Coolio," Chris said. "Here's your pinball buddy!" He held up an adorable baby panda.

"Once again," Scarlett said in a belligerent tone, "this show has demonstrated its appalling ignorance. Pandas are native to _China_ , and thus are _not_ a so-called 'local surprise'."

"Hey, do you want me to shock you again?" Chris told her with an annoyed expression. "Because I will." He locked eyes with the evil genius, and Scarlett scowled and looked away. "Right. Here ya go, Sugar," he told the pageant queen just before tossing the baby panda at her.

She caught it under its armpits, and it growled at her. "Hey, don't you be tryin' nothin'," she scolded it.

"Team Chris is Really Really Really Mean?" the host next, pointing to the next team who looked suddenly sheepish.

"Uhh, I think DJ should do it," Sierra suggested.

"What? No! What if I hurt the panda?" the gentle giant squeaked in alarm.

"I'd be more concerned about _it_ hurting _you_ ," Shawn said. "For all we know it could be carrying some kind of _zombie_ virus!"

"DJ, don't _worry_ , you'll be _fine_!" Sierra reassured the brickhouse. "You're _tough_ enough to handle being a human pinball, and _gentle_ enough to make sure the panda isn't hurt!"

"I don't know...," DJ told her.

"Well I do!" Chris said off-camera before a second panda came flying at the gentle giant. "Think fast, DJ!" he said seconds after the panda had already landed on the boy's head and started to bite and punch him.

"Get it off!" DJ cried in panic. "Get it _off_!"

"Mmmaybe this _wasn't_ such a good idea," Bridgette told Sierra, both girls watching with wide eyes.

"Aaaaand Team Victory," the host continued without concern.

"Lightning ain't afraid of no panda," the uber-jock spoke up. "Bring it on, Chris!"

"Uhh, you sure about that dude?" Geoff asked with a wary look at the other teams. "Those things look _vicious_."

"Do I _look_ like I'm not sure?" Lightning asked. "We are Team Dude, we are _not_ gonna let ourselves get beaten by a baby bear."

"Glad to hear it!" Chris grinned. "That's why I saved the _meanest_ one for you guys." He held up a metal cage, which rattled as the panda inside hissed and growled. The host opened the door, and the bear shot out like a black-and-white blur, tackling Lightning to the ground. His teammates winced as he hollered out in pain.

/

"It's Human Pinball time!" Chris announced over another shot of the three balls in the plunger as dramatic challenge music began to play. Chef, dressed as a fairly stereotypical samurai, pulled the knob back and sent the balls flying – red, then blue, then yellow; all three rolling around the curve of the playfield.

"No!" DJ shrieked during a close-up of the red ball, the panda still assaulting his head. He hit a red bumper, and 1000 points were shown being added to Team Chris's score. The blue ball was also shown ricocheting off a few bumpers, scoring a thousand points for Team Universe. "I gotta _stop_!" DJ shrieked again as his hamster ball bounced off another bumper, and barely missed another. "And you do too!" the brickhouse added as he was shown trying to pry the panda off his head while trying to control the ball by running.

"Sha-bang!" Lightning exclaimed as the focus cut to the yellow ball, which rapidly bounced between the wall and a series of posts. "Sha-pow! Sha-zap!" The camera cut in closer to show the uber-jock wrestling with his ball partner, getting the panda in a headlock but having the situation reversed after the ball ricocheted again.

Meanwhile, Sugar was also having difficulties with her panda partner. "C'mon you, let go of me!" she demanded as she ran the ball along, the baby bear biting down hard on her left arm. "I gotta concentrate!" The camera cut outside as the blue ball bounced of another bumper, putting Team Universe's score at 11,000. Sugar's ball rolled into a center hole, and was promptly launched straight up into the air. "Now what's this about?" she said, both her and her panda floating in confusion.

The shot cut to the left paddle as the other members of Team Universe tried to move it. "We need a 33.7° angle in order to maximize the desired impact!" Scarlett directed, pushing at the tip of the flipper with Dawn.

"We _know_ that already," Alejandro said from closer to the flipper's base, "so stop telling us!"

The group was startled and staggered by the sudden impact of the yellow ball against their flipper. "Thanks for the sha-boost, losers!" Lightning taunted.

The blue ball was shown again, making several rapid bounces across the playfield; their part of the scoreboard was shown ringing up to 38,000 points. Lightning's ball also continued to bounce, racking Team Victory's score up to 40,000. The camera got a shot of all three balls next, the blue and yellow ones continuing to ricochet rapidly while the red had slowed noticeably. The scoreboard reflected this – Team Universe and Team Victory now had 44,000 each, while Team Chris was lagging behind at a meager 15,000.

DJ's ball was shown rolling around again, only bouncing off a single bumper as it headed into the drain. The camera cut to it coming to a stop against the back wall, after which one half popped open and DJ slumped out onto the floor. "Aww man, that bit _big time_ ," he moaned. "But at least I didn't hurt the panda...right?" He lifted his head and looked back just as the panda walked out calmly and without a scratch.

xxx

"What was I supposed to do," the gentle giant asked in the restroom confessional, his whole body covered in scratches, " _let_ the panda get hurt? Nuh-uh," he shook his head, "no way."

xxx

/

The challenge footage resumed with a shot of the remaining two balls bouncing around; they soon collided, and the yellow one was sent rolling all the way to the drain.

"Aww, man!" Lightning griped as he exited the giant hamster ball with an unconscious baby panda under his arm. "Lightning had that in the _bag_ , too!"

xxx

"Dang bear musta messed me up," the uber-jock guessed in the restroom confessional. He'd been scratched up like DJ had been, but not nearly as badly. "Oh well. Team Victory's _still_ gonna win today."

xxx

The final ball made its own final bounces, and rolled to a stop next to Team Chris's. Sugar and her panda exited at the same time, and while both were so dizzy that they immediately fell over neither looked much worse for wear otherwise.

Sammy, Dawn, and Ella were shown cheering, and the background music took a triumphant finish as Chris walked up. "With a score of 101,000," he announced as the middle part of the scoreboard was shown again, "Team Universe takes the Super Human Mega Pinball _Smash_ , and wins a leg-up in the next Japanese challenge."

"Did somebody get the number on that tractor?" Sugar asked weakly, lifting herself up just enough to collapse again.

"Will Sugar recover from her harrowing victory?" the host asked the camera as a tense theme played in the background. "Or will Team Universe be forced to go on without her? Stay tuned," a gong sounded and he began to chop the air with his hands, "there's more wacky-cappy-macky-teriyaki action, after the break." He winked at the camera, and an Eastern-sounding music riff played.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

Another stereotypical east Asian theme played as the episode resumed with a scene of Chris standing in what appeared to be last season's film lot. "Welcome to Total! Drama! Action!" he announced as the camera pulled back and a line of Japanese text appeared at the top of the screen.

"Where there will be crazy action," he continued over a clip of Shawn and Bridgette running from a bear during the second season's first challenge, as viewed through a monitor. "And kooky filming," the host added over a clip of Jo and Shawn and Alejandro setting down film equipment at the top of a hill. "And somber eating," Chris said over a clip of the whole season two cast eating breakfast in the craft services tent.

"This is _not_ the food that I desire." Though the words came out of Alejandro's mouth as he was shown reaching for a pepper shaker for his eggs, it was very blatantly not Alejandro's voice -though it still spoke English.

"I think you're very cute," 'DJ' told Sammy as the two hid in a dark room together; once again, his voice was not his own though it still spoke English.

"I think you're very cute too," 'Sammy' replied as the two kissed, and another line of Japanese text scrolled down the screen.

"Total Drama Action!" the actual Chris McLean said over a shot of his gleaming gold statue that was followed by a shot of the host and Chef in their formal attire at one of the Gilded Chris Ceremonies. "Pears and apples of fun!" A few shots of the animatronic monster's first reign of terror over the contestants was shown next with yet another line of Japanese text on the screen, and the feed cut to static.

xxx

The scene immediately cut to a shot from behind the cast, sitting in standing in front of a movie screen, the static it showed getting quickly replaced by a generic globe image.

"Woah, what was _that_ about?" Geoff asked in confusion.

"That piece of cinematic gold is the Japanese promo," Chris explained as he walked in front of the movie screen. "Total Drama is _huuuuge_ here!"

"But that was in _English_ ," Sammy said. "Why did they change our voices?"

"Turns out the locals just don't like the sounds of y'all," Chris said with an impish shrug. "Sorry!"

"You don't look it," Scott said.

"True...," the host conceded with a smile before moving on. "Ready for the next challenge? I hope you paid attention because you'll be writing, directing, and producing your very own Japanese commercial!" he announced happily.

"There's a brand new candy hitting the Japanese market," he explained before pulling out a pinkish bag of snacks with the image of a fishtail on the front. "It's Chef's 'Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails'!" he said as an appropriate tune played. "I call this the 'Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails' Challenge," he said as the same stereotypically east-Asian tune played, "of Celebration Fun." He winked at the camera and the light gleamed off his smile.

"Mmm, you said we were gonna pay a _real_ Tokyo ad firm," Chef said in annoyance.

"Oops," Chris said with an unapologetic smile, "I did! Didn't I? As props," he continued without further thought towards his assistant, "you'll be allowed to use _anything_ you can find in the airplane's storage area. Since Team Universe won the first challenge, they get to choose their props first."

The six teens cheered and shared a group high five that was soon dissolved by the distrust between several of their members.

"With Team Victory choosing second," the host added, "and Team Chris is Really Really Really Really _Mean_ stuck with...whatever dregs are left..." The five members of the team in question glared at the man they'd been named after.

/

The scene flashed to Team Universe in the cargo hold where they were looking over boxes and crates full of miscellaneous junk.

"Hmmm...I'm seeing...," Alejandro said as he peered into an open box and pulled out a miniature house and a spider costume, "a tiny Tokyo...a giant radioactive monster...!" A grin formed on his face as he looked between the two objects.

Scarlett sniffed in disdain. "That's _it_? That idea is too bland, it'll never work!"

"I dunno," Sugar said as she approached with a curious look on her face, "I kinda like it. And I should know, I was in an _actual_ commercial once," she told her teammates proudly.

"Oh really?" Alejandro asked with an amused expression.

"Sure was!" the pageant queen said. "I was the star of the 'Darwin's Food Safari' restaurant commercial! I played a talkin' _cow_."

"Well then, I bet you'd be _perfect_ as our monster!" Alejandro told her, holding the spider costume up to her body to see how it fit. "Ladies, what do you think?"

"I think it's great!" Sammy said with a smile that was shared by Ella, while Dawn merely watched passively.

"Excellent," the charmer said. He picked up the box he'd found the miniature house and costume in, and led his team away – right by Team Victory. The camera zoomed in on Sugar as she gave Scott a sly wink, which the farmer answered with a knowing smirk and nod.

"Good luck with your video!" Ella told the boys just before she followed her teammates out of sight.

"Thanks," Tyler said with a smile, "you too!" His gaze lingered in the direction Team Universe had left in before he turned back to see Lightning glaring at him.

"Now _tell_ me Lightning did not just see you wishin' the other team good luck," the alpha jock scolded. "They're the enemy, New Guy! We want them to have _bad_ luck, right boys?"

"I guess so," Ezekiel said thoughtfully. "I mean, we do want 'em to lose, eh."

"Definitely," Scott said with a nasty grin. "The worse luck for them, the _better_ luck for us."

"I dunno, guys," Geoff said, "that seems a little _harsh_ , don'tcha think?"

"Not if we wanna keep winnin'," Lightning said. "Now come on, Team Dude! Let's grab some stuff and get movin'!" He picked up a seemingly random crate and carried it off, leaving his teammates to give each other wary looks.

/

The scene flashed to the five members of Team Chris looking at what remained of the props.

"Well _this_ certainly doesn't look good," Shawn commented as the camera panned from one useless-looking pile to the next, including a box of crumbs, an empty and cracked fish tank, and a dead seagull.

"Well I'm not about to give up," Bridgette said as she looked more closely at the dregs and held up a string of Christmas lights. "In _fact_ ," she started to smile, "I bet we can put together something that just might work!"

/

Another flash took the scene to Team Universe as Sammy and Scarlett set up a bunch of miniature buildings and cars. Sugar cleared her throat off-screen, prompting the camera to pan to her as she declared "Grr! I am a giant monster!" In addition to the spider costume she was wearing what looked like the head and hands of Chef's 'Mama Alien' costume from the second season. She paused, then frowned. "Hold on, somethin' ain't right. What's my motivation again?"

"You're a giant radioactive _abomination_ ," Scarlett told her impatiently while still adjusting one of the buildings. "You just want to _destroy_ everything in your way."

"Oh," the pageant queen said. "So, kinda like you, then?" She gave Scarlett a cheeky grin, and received a glare in return.

The camera panned over to Alejandro as he tossed one of the candy fishtails into his mouth, chewed it a couple times, made a face of disgust, and puked it back out.

xxx

"Like...rotted _fish_ intestine with a side-order of fermented squid and _dirty hockey equipment_ ," he explained in the restroom confessional before bending over and throwing up on the floor.

xxx

"Okay, so once the fishtail breaks out of its tank to escape the _seagull_ ," Bridgette said as she moved the various props they'd gathered through the motions she'd described, her teammates watching over her, "it hops down the beach and into the water!"

"Ooh!" Sierra spoke up, excitedly picking up a string of flashing lights. "Maybe we can use _these_ to spell something out, or have them light up as the fishtail passes or something?"

"Great idea, I think we can work with that," Bridgette told her.

"What about this?" DJ asked, drawing his teammate's attention to the beach ball he was holding above his head. "I was thinkin' the fishtail could narrowly avoid gettin' _squashed_ by it a couple times as it tried to get to the water."

"Awesome!" the surfer told him. "Yeah, I think that's just what we should do. That makes it..."

"Hold on, we're still gonna have the fishtail jump into my mouth at the end, right?" Shawn asked, holding up a small box. "Because I found a few fireworks we might be able to use."

"Awesome!" Bridgette smiled. "See, I _knew_ this was gonna come together perfectly! Beardo, you ready to start filming yet?" She looked over at the beatboxer, who held up a camcorder and raised a thumbs-up with the sound of a ship's bell. "Great," the surfer said. "now everyone, get in your places so we can get started."

"Ooh, I am _sooo_ excited," Sierra gushed as the five moved apart and she picked up the fishtank. "I just _know_ that Chef is gonna love it."

/

"I still think this is _ridiculous_ ," Scott told Tyler, taking off the hockey mask that along with a kabuto helmet and black robe comprised his costume. "Chef's never gonna take this seriously!"

"Just trust me, I know what I'm doing," the jock said. He was also in costume, though his was little more than a salmon-colored baseball helmet with long springs attached like horns, as well as an empty back of candy fishtails taped to his chest. The two boys were standing in front of a city backdrop and on top of what looked like green carpet.

"You have five minutes left to film your ad," Chris announced from off-screen. "Then it's Happy Fish...Yum...wha... _whatever_. We'll be watching them in five minutes."

"Good thing our _trainwreck_ is already done," Scott said snidely as he walked off, leaving Tyler to scowl.

/

"And that's a wrap!" Bridgette said happily as the scene cut back to Team Chris. Sierra and DJ set down the string of lights and dead seagull; Shawn licked his fingers and extinguished a sparkler; and Beardo pressed the button on his camcorder.

"Alright," he told the others, "just leave it to me. I'll get this edited in _no time_."

"Thanks, dude," DJ told him, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he walked past; other members of the team doing similarly.

/

The footage skipped ahead to a shot of Beardo wiping the sweat from his forehead and grinning. " _Perfect_ ," he said as he leaned back in the chair he was sitting in, "Chef's gonna love it."

"Hey!" Sugar called from off-camera, attracting the attention of both it and Beardo. She was still in her costume, and was fiddling with a zipper that ran down the front of it. "Gimme a hand here, will ya? My teamies ditched me and I can't get this dang suit off!"

Beardo stared for half a second, then shrugged and walked over. As he began to help, the perspective moved over Sugar's shoulder to reveal her watching Scott tiptoe up to the video editing equipment the beatboxer had been using. She grinned and gave him a thumbs up as he started messing with Team Chris's tape, then quickly changed to more frantic gestures as Beardo made a cash register sound and got the zipper unstuck. In rising panic Scott made several more changes, then ducked behind a nearby crate just as Beardo stood up and looked back.

"Hey, thanks!" Sugar said, distracting the boy again. "Now we better hurry, the film's are gonna be shown soon!" Beardo nodded and made the sound of a ship's bell again, then turned around and grabbed a disc out of the computer.

/

The scene flashed back to the room the Japanese promo had been shown in, the camera panning across Team Victory, Team Chris, and Team Universe as they stood together in wait.

"Oh, were you just changing?" Sammy asked Sugar as the latter walked up.

"Yup!" the pageant queen said, ignoring the peculiar look Dawn was giving her. "That suit was makin' me all _sweaty_ , so it took a while but I got it!"

"Oh, good," the cheerleader said blankly.

"Alright," Chris said as he walked up to the front of the room, "now that you're done filming it's time to see if your hard work has paid off. Chef?"

The shot panned over to the sulking man. "No budget no ad agency rip-off cheese-ball cheap show," he grumbled as he pointed a remote towards an unseen projector.

"First up," the host said, "Team Universe with 'Monster Rampage'!"

xxx

The grainy film began with a close-up of one of the cardboard box buildings before zooming out dramatically to reveal Monster-Sugar tromping and smashing around the fake city to an appropriately dangerous and old-timey musical score. "Roar! Grr! Smash!" the pageant queen roared over various close shots of her destroying the city and smashing a pair of model trucks together.

The shot changed to look down on Alejandro, Sammy, Scarlett, and Ella, standing tense and fearful with army helmets on. Monster-Sugar stood up in the foreground of the shot, the angle making it look like she was towering over the others.

"Oh no!" Alejandro cried as the music became tenser. "The large out-of-shape monster!"

"We have to run!" Sammy declared dramatically.

"Think of the children!" Scarlett said in a remarkably neutral tone.

"Oh what shall we do?!" Ella finished.

The next shot looked up at Sugar as she roared again, and the camera cut to Dawn as she descended in front of her teammates in lotus position, a wire clearly attached to her back. "Fear not, mortals!" she declared. "Use _these_ to defeat the monster!" She pulled out a back of candy fishtails and tossed them to Sammy, and the music turned triumphant as a close-up of Sammy pulling a fishtail from the bag was shown, and followed by her throwing it at Monster-Sugar.

It was shown landing right in the pageant queen's mouth, who quickly swallowed it and grinned. "Hey, that's _delicious_!"

The old-timey music was replaced by a more modern electronic beat as Monster-Sugar began to dance in front of an orange-and-yellow spiral background, the heads of her five teammates appearing around her – Dawn on top, then Alejandro and Sammy in the upper left and right, and Scarlett and Ella on the bottom.

"Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time," the five sang together as their heads pulsed and bobbed and the background spun, "Candy Fishtails, better than no-no. Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time, tastes so good! Wash your face!" The heads and dancing monster were replaced by a lone bag of the candies as the commercial came to its end.

xxx

/

"Next up," Chris said back in the viewing room with the final shot of Team Universe's movie still lingering on the movie screen, "Team Victory with 'The Masked Fishtail's Victory'." The screen behind him turned to static, which promptly took over the scene.

xxx

The commercial opened Lightning, Geoff, and Ezekiel tossing a flying disc to one another in front of what was clearly the city backdrop from earlier. A fast-paced and energetic tune was playing, but it was interrupted after only a few seconds when a fireworks 'explosion' went off next to the boys, forcing them to dive to the side in an exaggerated fashion.

"Watch out!" Lightning declared with a dramatic point off-screen. "It's the _evil_ Warlord, uhh...Scottayama!"

"He's gonna destroy us all, eh!" Ezekiel cried, clutching his head in his hands.

"Nyahaha!" a familiar voice laughed, the camera panning awkwardly to show the costumed Scott standing on top a nearby crate. "Bow down and tremble before me, mortals! And _watch_ as I unleash my...my...," he faltered a bit, then opened his robe just enough so that the corner of a piece of paper could be seen. "My Doom Laser of Evil Destruction!" he finally declared, with an additional "...seriously?" muttered under his breath.

"Not the Doom Laser of Evil Destruction!" Geoff exclaimed in over-exaggerated shock. "Won't someone save us from it?!" He grabbed his hair in panic, but the music shifted into something triumphant and yet distinctly Japanese as the shot cut Tyler striking a heroic pose on top of yet another crate. He was also in costume, and was even wearing a simple superhero-style mask under his helmet.

" _You_ should be trembling, Warlord Scottayama," Tyler declared with a dramatic hand sweep, "for the Masked Fishtail is here!"

"Hah!" Scott laughed as the shot pulled back to show both of them on their crates, with the other boys crouched in front of the obvious backdrop. "You'll _never_ stop me!" He hunched down and cupped his hands together, then sort of hummed in concentration as a frosted donut appeared between his hands.

"Thanks to Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails," Tyler declared over a close-up of a bag he'd pulled out from behind his back, "I can do _anything_!"

"Nyah!" Scott yelled, launching the the donut from his hands. It was shown hitting the crate Tyler was standing on and 'exploding' into a few more fireworks, but Tyler had already jumped. The shot changed to show him jumping over the camera, then cut again to show him launching a punch at Scott who had gotten down from his crate.

"Fishtail Punch!" he announced before completely whiffing the punch, losing his balance, and knocking into his teammate-turned-nemesis. Scott grunted in pained annoyance as Tyler landed on top of him, and the other three boys cheered.

"You did it, Masked Fishtail!" Geoff said.

"And so can you," Tyler told the camera with a smile as he held up his bag of snacks, "with the power of Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails."

xxx

/

"That was _awesome_!" Tyler declared in excitement as the footage cut back to him and his teammates in the viewing room.

"That was _embarrassing_ ," Scott countered while palming his face in shame.

"Whatever it was," Chris interjected with a scowl, "it's _over_ now. Next up, Team Chris is Really Really Really Mean!"

"You're gonna _love_ it," Bridgette said as the camera cut to the five members of the team, all smiling confidently. "We call it 'Fishtail Happy Go Time'."

Chris raised an eyebrow at them, then turned to the screen as it cut to static.

xxx

For some reason, the video started already in-progress with a shaky shot of a single candy fishtail landing in a tub of water as Sierra sang "...don't let it be in vain" to a hectic tune. A line of flashing lights followed the candy into the pool, but as the camera zoomed in after them it suddenly cut to an entirely different scene.

"Eat them now, eat them then," Sierra sang, still off-camera, as the shot focused on a single candy fishtail swimming in a cracked tank, "eat them anytime!". It seemed to 'look' from side to side in time to the lyrics, each time seeing a dead seagull outside with its mouth wide open as if trying to eat the candy. Sierra stopped there but the music itself continued, and the seagull was seen getting dropped by a black-skinned hand just before it reached in and plucked the fishtail out of the water.

Another abrupt scene change put the focus on Shawn's face as the candy fishtail suddenly flew into his mouth. The music seemed to come to a dramatic conclusion as Sierra sang "You'll _shine_!" in a similarly conclusive manner, a line of flashing lights forming a border around the scene as four sparklers and a few other fireworks were lit behind the survivalist, who was forcing a smile.

"... _very_ good, eat them and you'll shine!" Sierra sang during the next abrupt scene change, this time showing the fishtail swimming up out of the water as the string of flashing lights spiraled around it. Part of Shawn moved into frame just as the clip ended.

"Okay, take two," Bridgette said clearly as the scene abruptly changed yet again, now showing a still shot of a bag of fishtails against a yellow-orange starburst pattern. "Action!"

The music that had been used throughout the video 'started' there, as Sierra also 'began' to sing. "Total Drama Yum-" she sang as the bag started to 'dance', but the video noticeably skipped there and continued as "-Candy Fishtails!"

"You'll _shine_!" Sierra sang again in what appeared to be an exact duplicate of the earlier scene depicting the fireworks going off as Shawn ate the fishtail. The music ended there once again, as did the video.

xxx

"Yeah," Chris told Team Chris with an unamused look on his face, "I definitely _didn't_ love it."

"What was _that_?!" Sierra hissed in disbelief at Beardo as Bridgette, DJ, and Shawn gaped – as did the other teams who were standing on either side of them.

"I don't know!" Beardo answered with panic and confusion in his voice. "That ain't what I wanted to put together! It musta saved _wrong_ or somethin'!"

"Save the excuses," Chris told him before looking at his assistant. "Well, Chef?"

The shot cut to the hulking man as he tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Chris, ah, I think I gotta go with Team Victory." The five boys immediately began to cheer as victorious music began to play. "I don't know, I just loved the explodin' donut ray."

"Dude, that was totally off the _hook_!" Geoff told Tyler, sharing a double low-five with the jock as Ezekiel and even Lightning gave him a pat on the back.

"Thanks," Tyler said with a quick rub of his nose and a proud smirk, "I did my best."

"Guess I was wrong this time," Scott admitted with an impish shrug.

"Congratulations Team Victory," Chris told them. "But Chef, I also have to know: who _bit_ the biggest?"

"Uhh," Chef said with a contemplative glare, "those guys." He pointed at Team Chris, who hung their heads in shame. "You had a good concept, but that was some _awful_ editing. You lose!" he declared with a fierce expression as ominous chanting music welled up in the background. "You're sending someone home! Tonight!"

"Aww man," DJ cried, "I knew it was comin', but this still _really_ hurts."

Shawn sighed. "Well guys, it was bound to happen eventually."

"I know _I_ was looking forward to it," Chris told them with a wide grin.

/

The scene flashed to some secluded part of the cargo hold, where Scott and Sugar were meeting once again.

"Heh heh, today turned out better than I thought," Scott said in a hushed tone.

"I know!" Sugar chuckled in a low voice. "And the best part is, I hardly had to do anything! Guess you were right about us teamin' up."

"Looks like it," the farmer said. "Just make sure to keep this a secret, we don't want the others seeing us together."

"Got it," Sugar nodded. The two walked off together, and the ominous music began again just as they passed a large stack of crates, and Dawn stepped out from behind it the moment they left the screen.

"I wonder what _Sugar_ was doing with _Scott_?" she muttered in confusion.

/

"Iiiit's vote time!" Chris announced as a few dramatic notes played to the members of Team Chris, currently sitting at a table in the dining area. "Up in the loser class bathroom," he explained a deep note was struck. "you'll find five passports," the note was struck again as he held up five fingers. "Stamp the passport of the team member you'd like to send home." The deep note transitioned, as usual, into the standard voting music. "And make sure it's _clear_ who you're voting for, okay?"

The camera panned across the five teens as they nodded sadly.

xxx

"Hmm...," Sierra said as she looked over the passports of her teammates that were spread on the bathroom countertop. "Who messed up the _most_..."

xxx

Bridgette was next, bringing a stamp down hard on a passport. It's picture, however, wasn't quite visible in the clip.

xxx

"I still don't know what happened," Beardo said as the camera focused in on DJ's passport laying on the counter, "but I can't give up now. Sorry," he finished by stamping down on the brickhouse's picture.

xxx

DJ himself was next, holding up Beardo's passport in one hand and his own in the other. "If I hadn't choked in the first challenge," he whispered uncertainly, "maybe we woulda done better on the video."

xxx

"Sorry," Shawn told the camera while holding up Beardo's passport to it, "but we can't afford another mistake like that." He set the passport down, then stamped it.

xxx

A gong sound as the scene cut to the elimination room, Chris and Chef standing by the door while the five teens waited near the seats. The host was holding five passports fanned-out in his hand, while Chef carried a tray with four bags of barf-coated peanuts.

"Those staying the game will get in-flight snacks," Chris said while Chef smiled at the camera, "aaand if you don't get one, you'll be taking the Drop of Shame." The camera followed his hand to the door as it swung open. The five contestants were shown standing in stunned silence, and the host continued. "The following players are safe: Shawn!" Chef eagerly threw a bag of peanuts at the survivalist, who quickly ducked before they hit him. "Bridgette!" Next in line, the surfer wasn't as quick to dodge and grunted in annoyance when her prize hit her in the side. "Sierra!" Likewise, the tall fangirl made a noise of displeasure upon getting hit in the stomach.

"And," Chris said with a pause as the music ramped the tension and Beardo and DJ were shown looking nervous, "the final bag goes to...DJ!" The gentle giant was shown wiping his brow in relief shortly before all attention moved to the beatboxer.

Beardo made the familiar sound of a classic video game character dying as he stepped forward, his head hung sadly.

"For what it's worth," Bridgette told him with a hand on his shoulder, "I do wish it didn't have to be this way."

"Yeah, me neither," Beardo said. "I just wish I'd had the time to figure out what _really_ happened to our video." He sighed, and the music faded out as he put his hands to his mouth and began to play 'Taps'. He made his way to the exit, then stopped playing to accept the parachute pack from the smiling host. He put in on as the somber elimination tune started up again, but paused before jumping to make the sound of a lightbulb clicking on. "Hold up," he said with realization on his face, "I bet it was because of-"

He was cut off when a frowning Chef Hatchet kicked him in the back, sending him flying out the open door. The shot immediately cut outside and zoomed out as Chris leaned out and waved. "Good luck, dude!" he said before the perspective switched back inside, where Beardo could just be heard hollering as he fell. "He's yelling something back at me," Chris said while bending down slightly. "Can't make it out, though."

/

"Sayonara, from Japan" Chris said over a close-up of an airplane symbol placed over the relevant spot on a world map. The shot zoomed out as the series' dramatic capstone theme played, and the symbol began looping westward across the map to the roar of the real jet's engines. "Where will our travels take us next?"

"Will Scott and Sugar _actually_ dominate the game?" he asked over a shot of the two villains shaking hands, then turning their backs to one another and exchanging suspicious glares. "What other weird products does Chef want to sell?" The next shot showed the cook grinning at a donut held in his palm which had a firecracker stuck in it; the fuse burnt down and the donut exploded, covering the man with dough.

"All these questions, and many more," Chris continued as the camera cut to him lounging in the cockpit, "probably won't be answered. On the next episode of, Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" At the final zoom-out, the furthest-out engine on the left wing suddenly exploded and fell off.

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The clip faded in to Beardo performing a hiphop remix of 'Taps' as he floated downwards, his parachute completely and safely open. He finally stopped beatboxing, and looked straight at the camera. "Man, I have the _worst_ luck on this show. Backstabbed, cheated, and now sabotaged?" He shook his head in disappointment and sighed. "At least, I _think_ I got sabotaged," he clarified. "Probably when I was helpin' Sugar."

"Least I got more time to work on my solo album now, and-" he cut himself off upon glancing downward, and the camera zoomed out to reveal that he was approaching another giant bowl of rice, this one strapped to flatbed truck. "Huh, what're the odds?" he said. He quickly started making the whistling sound of something falling, which turned into a watery splash as he landed in the grain, and finally switched to the sounds of a ship sinking as he himself sank dramatically.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And thus falls Beardo, victim once again to the necessities of plot. Sorry to all his fans, but as much as I've enjoyed writing and developing him I just wasn't able to come up with a good subplot that would warrant a longer stay. As such, he becomes the victim of Scott and Sugar's alliance. Incidentally, this is why I decided to switch around Japan and the Yukon - I figured Japan would better lend itself to Beardo's elimination since there was an obvious way to get the villainous duo involved. Hopefully everyone is at least fine with how things turned out, at least in terms of the elimination.

Regarding Scarlett...I know a lot of you were hoping for her to get some kind of revenge against Sugar here, but obviously that didn't really happen. Sorry. If it's any consolation, you can think of it as Scarlett just biding her time and laying low until she can really act.

Once again, Tyler helps his team to win. I decided to expand upon the love for Japanese game shows that he displayed in canon to include tokusatsu as well - basically, Power Rangers and the like for those who aren't familiar with the genre. It's the sort of thing I can see Tyler really getting into, and it showed here in the direction he had his team's commercial take.

This episode's song, by the way, is titled 'I Remember'. The tune is sort of a mix between 'Before We Die' from canon and the song Ella sang while falling during the first episode of Pahkitew Island. It's not perfect (Bridgette's first line still feels awkward to me for instance) but I think it works. Also, as I told OMAC001 in response to their review, I decided to change the song format to be something more like the detailed intro sequences. How does everyone like it?

And, of course, how does everyone like the chapter as a whole? Let me know, I'm excited to see your reviews!

Until next week, and enjoy the debut of The Ridonculous Race!

-Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)


	5. Chapter 5 - The Am-AH-Zon Race

**Author's Note**

Here we are dear readers, at the end of the first quarter of the season's main plot! As I said last week, I'm really really liking this episode and I hope you all do too. Next week if our first Aftermath, and I'll admit it hasn't actually been finished yet - the fact that it's an Aftermath, plus the fact that I had to come up with two new songs for it, really slowed me down. Fortunately, the musical numbers are out of the way so it's just the rest of the second interview and closing segments that I have to write on Saturday.

So, how has everyone been liking The Ridonculous Race so far? By the time most of you read this, the first week of episodes should be over with (the Brazil episode hasn't officially aired yet as I read this, and as such I haven't seen it as I have been avoiding watching the early episodes that Cartoon Network themselves put out). Personally, I love it - Don is a great host, the teams are pretty much all amazing, and I've really only taken issue with the first elimination.

But, of course, that's not why we're all here right now. There's an exciting and dramatic episode to get to, and also a bunch of reviews.

 **CVluvFoxy:** I'm so glad you liked it! I like Sugar as well, and it's been fun doing more stuff with her this season than I was able to in season one. And yeah, I haven't given Beardo much of a break...it's sad, but somebody has to get eliminated early on. I hope you enjoy this week's episode!

 **Glowing Insanity:** Yeah, I think a few people were expecting him to get farther. Sadly, I just wasn't able to do it. I'm glad you still liked the chapter, though.

 **aloasa:** Ah, thanks. Yeah, I already know I'm not gonna please everyone with all of my songs, especially since a lot of the canon songs were so beloved. But yeah, Scott and Sugar are currently our Big Bad Duumvirate...more or less, anyway. As for the romantic subplot between DJ, Dawn, and Sammy following the same path as Duncan, Courtney, and Gwen...well, whatever similarities maybe present along the way, the ends will certainly be different.

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** Yeah, you and a few others. I'm glad you loved my version of the song though! And honestly, I don't mind early predictions at all so if you wanna make one, just go ahead and do it.

 **Animation Adventures** (formerly Karts of Sugar Rush for those not in the know) **:** Yeah, sorry I had to let Beardo go so early on. You're right that this seems like a good season for him to make use of his talents, but unfortunately it means nothing if the author can't think of a decent plot for them and is in need of an early boot. Glad you liked the song though, and the curve it had compared to canon.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** I'm glad I was able to make the elimination tense for you! And also the pinball, since I didn't think it was all that good - it's hard to translate something like that from animation to writing.

 **Zak Saturday:** Well, most of these early songs I ended up writing back when I was working on Action - only Bridgette and Alejandro's duet and, uh, basically everything after this episode weren't already mostly complete when the season began. But more to the point, I honestly don't know where I find the time or inspiration. Sometimes I'll be lucky and have a good idea of what I want to do almost immediately; other times (like with next week's episode) it's just like several hours of slogging trying to work it all out. Honestly, this is why I'm glad I decided to leave Saturdays open for when I need some extra time to work things out, because these songs aren't gonna always be easy.

 **DSX62415:** Haha, glad you liked it! I'm more of a Super Sentai fan myself (only Kamen Rider I've really watched was Gaim), but I can appreciate the appeal of Kamen Rider as well.

 **bruno14:** Yup, it was sad to get rid of Beardo too. But it had to be done... And yeah, having Tyler actually be useful has been pretty fun, since he's usually just clumsy comic relief.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Hah, yeah. But it's not like the others aren't gonna keep bringing up what Scarlett did, so she'll have to get used to it.

 **BuckJohnson:** Yeah, I see what you mean about the underdogs. But sometimes things like that just have to happen. I am super glad you like the Scott-Sugar alliance, it just seems like the sort of thing that would work. Also glad you like Tyler, since I wasn't really sure at first if I was gonna be able to do all that much with him. That aside, I hope to keep on surprising you!

 **FOWLKON:** Yeah, I really haven't given Beardo much of a break at all. I am glad I was able to at least lead up to his fall fairly well though. Regarding the locations, obviously this week's isn't New York, but most of the locations that have been shuffled haven't been done so very much, usually only one or two positions different. Also, nearly all of them occur in the first half of the story. And as for what'll happen with Dawn, Sugar, Scott, and Scarlett...well, you'll just have to wait and see.

 **ashDanLand:** No worries, no worries! I didn't really like DJ's curse from canon either, and I'm glad I've been able to explore what his time would be like without it. And I'm glad you didn't expect the alliance between Scott and Sugar, since it helps make it more realistic that they'd be able to hide it from the other contestants.

 **Ddynamo:** Hmm, I wonder how long your prediction streak will last? I'm glad you liked Scott's new plan - it is, as you say, an advanced version of what he originally used,just with less risk. His main target is Team Chris, and he has an accomplice, making his sabotages both more likely to actually work out, and making it more likely that he won't anger his teammates into voting him off. That's the plan, at least - how everything actually goes down is something only I know.

 **Nickie Mudkip:** Yeah, early eliminations can always sting a little I think. Glad you aren't too sad, though.

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, I'm glad you liked last week's episode better even if you still aren't feeling the songs. And yeah, there just wasn't much for Beardo to do. Though I will say that I'd honestly kind of forgotten about him being one of the canon first boots when I decided to eliminate him, it's not something that factored into the decision. Oh, and don't worry, this week's episode is gonna be an elimination.

 **OMAC001:** Well then, I hope you're ready to find out!

 **Boggie445:** I'm...honestly not entirely sure what you mean, but I can tell that it's something I'm absolutely not gonna do. There's absolutely no reason for me to mix TRR with Shuffled RotI, like at all.

 **Ruffhero77:** Yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing my song writing improve as well, since it's such an important part of this season. And yeah, part of the reason Beardo got eliminated the way he did was to give Scott and Sugar actual credibility as a villainous alliance. I'm glad you're liking Tyler so far, as well as Scarlett being on the outs with her team. What becomes of those subplots...well, you'll just have to wait and see.

 **crossoversfanTJ:** Always good to hear from new reviewers! Especially when they're such big fans. And yeah, I get what you're saying about the new songs seeming a little weird since they're not what any of us are sued to in terms of this season, but I'm glad I was able to keep things fresh. And as for the casts for the next two seasons...well, I don't want to spoil anything for All-Stars right now, but later on in the series there is a possibility that I'll give some sort of minor hint as to who'll be in Revenge of the Island.

 **Sleep Arypsure:** Well, I'm not about to comment about the romance-related stuff you noticed, since I don't want to give away what I have planned right now. The two country folk having more-or-less the same idea was just something that ended up feeling right for the characters, and as much as it sucked having to get rid of Beardo so soon it's what I needed to happen. And no worries, about the reviewing-with-insomnia thing, I understand.

 **The Prime Writer:** 1,000 reviews might be stretching it, but this fic will definitely get more than Action did, which is really saying something. Once more, I'm glad to see you liking the alliance I've set up between Scott and Sugar, even if it did come at Beardo's expense. And have no doubt that I have many plans in store for this season. And also, happy birthday!

 **Knifez:** Glad I was able to surprise you with last week's elimination! Good to see you're liking what you're liking too, and I will admit that I'm working on giving Shawn more lines. Moreso in the next quarter, mind, but still. I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter!

 **Guest #1:** Well, just keep in mind that the contestants for next season were chosen just as randomly as the contestants for the first season and the newbies for this one - it wasn't done by following any kind of logic. As for what the next season of Total Drama could actually be like, I can actually see it being another new cast, if only to have there be more time between All-Star seasons. I could also see a return of the Pahkitew Island cast, or perhaps a mix of old and new in a Fans vs. Favorites type of thing.

 **Guest #2:** And by my calendar, World Tour should end on February 5th; Revenge of the Island on May 6th; All-Stars on August 5th; and Pahkitew Island on November 5th. Not sure where you're getting Black Friday for PI to finish.

 **ferguson97:** Haha, yeah, I noticed. Glad to see you've caught up, and that you love the story so much. Regarding Amy and Sammy, I think I mentioned it back in season one but the original shuffling had one of the twins and either Katie or Sadie in the cast (can't recall which it was), but since they only work with their other halves (who were also, conveniently, in the same other season) I decided to switch them around so the twins were in TSI and the BFFFLs were in a later season together. Every other placement has been sheer luck, Ella included.

 **Mister Kennedy:** Thanks! And yeah, Ezekiel deserved a better break than in canon. I'm not making any promises about him hooking up with anyone, though, especially not with Dawn.

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks! And I'm so happy people are liking Scott's new plan; it just seemed like the sort of underhanded thing he'd try to do. And yeah, Team Chris' commercial would have probably gotten at least second place had Scott not messed it up, but of course that's not what I needed to happen.

 **Ali6132:** Thanks, and as I've said before I really haven't given him much of a break. I feel bad, but these things have to happen sometimes. I'm glad you like the new song format, and as for whether or not Team Victory and Team Chris have swapped roles compared to their canon counterparts...well, you'll just have to wait and see. And as for TRR, I'm not sure who I'm rooting for the most since I love so many teams. I think I'll go with the Goths and the Sisters though.

And once again, the reviews have been answered for the week. For those who want the reminder, the remaining contestants are as follows:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Lightning, Tyler, Geoff

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Bridgette, Shawn, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Dawn, Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

Who will be going home this week? You'll have to take a trip through the jungle to find out, dear readers, because that's where we're headed this week. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 5 – The Am-AH-Zon Race**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris said, the recap opening on a map of the world that, after a few seconds, zoomed in on Japan. "Steeped in a tradition," the host continued as the montage of clips began with the cast falling into a giant bowl of rice and continuing into a few seconds of Team Victory's video, "Japan's modern allure is as fascinating as its rich history."

"Here," DJ was shown first getting attacked by a baby panda and then trapped inside an oversized hamster ball with one, "our competitors experienced Japan's innovative entertainment." The three colored balls were shown bouncing around the pinball playfield, and a dizzy Sugar exited her ball and promptly collapsed.

"Meanwhile, Scott and Sugar engaged in a little _underhandedness_ that would make a ninja proud." The two were shown agreeing to an alliance, then working together to distract Beardo and sabotage Team Chris's tape. "Because of them, Beardo took the _fall_ for his team's loss." The beatboxer was shown getting voted out, and getting forced out of the plane just as he had a realization.

"Beardo's sacrifice means we're _two_ warriors down," Chris said as the recap ended and the camera cut to the cockpit, "fifteen to go, with _one_ million big ones up for grabs. On Total! Drama! Woooorld Tour!" For once he didn't sing the final two words, but the music played nonetheless.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened with the now-typical shot of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet in flight, the camera quickly cutting to economy class as Sammy asked "So...how've you been lately, Dawn?" The scene was focused squarely on the two blondes, the smaller of whom seemed to have been caught off-guard by the question.

"Oh, well, fine I suppose," the mystic told her friend, not meeting the cheerleader's gaze. "Though it's been difficult to meditate in the plane."

"Hah, yeah, I kinda noticed," Sammy said with an awkward sort of laugh. "So, umm, y'know," she continued with a hesitant eyeroll, "I was thinking, it's been awhile since you and me and DJ really _talked_ , y'know? Especially since you still haven't really explained why you just... _disappeared_ between seasons."

"Oh, yes, well," Dawn said, blushing slightly and still determinedly avoiding Sammy's gaze despite the girl's efforts to lean over and look, "it's really not that important. Just...didn't have the time to stay in touch."

Sammy frowned and leaned back against the wall and shot a look across the room; the camera briefly cut to DJ shrugging helplessly on the opposite side. Sammy sighed. "Dawn, just because I can't read auras doesn't mean I can't tell when you're lying." The mystic said nothing, but the camera angle shifted to catch her closing her eyes and taking a breath. "And I'm pretty sure I know why you've been avoiding us, too. I just...want you to know that I care about you a lot, Dawn."

"So do I," DJ chimed in, the camera once again cutting to him on the opposite wall. "We just wanna work all this stuff out with you _together_ , y'know?"

The focus cut back to Dawn as she let out her breath and opened her eyes.

xxx

"They're right," Dawn admitted in the restroom confessional, becoming more confident with each word.. "It's time that I _stopped_ avoiding my feelings for them, and _started_ to accept them for what they are!"

xxx

"You're right," the mystic said, finally turning a small smile to her friends who smiled back in turn. "I've been avoiding this for too long. Let's...talk _after_ the next challenge, though," she added quickly. "I'd rather we not have to interrupt our, umm, discussion."

Both DJ and Sammy grinned. "Sure! Awesome!" the cheerleader said.

"Great idea!" DJ added.

A touching tune played, but it quickly morphed into something eerier as the camera panned to the left, away from the brickhouse and on to his teammates.

"Oh em gee," Sierra told Bridgette and Shawn in an excited whisper, a sly leer on her face. "This is like the best development _ever_!"

"Uhh, why?" Shawn asked in hushed confusion. "Sorry," he added quickly at her stern glare, "I just never really got what was going on between them."

"Oh, well, DJ and Sammy are going out," Sierra immediately began to explain, continuing her hushed tone and even putting a hand up to shield her mouth, "but they've _also_ each had a crush on Dawn since season one. And Dawn has been crushing on them _too_ , but didn't wanna act on it since they hooked up. But then _last_ season that video of Dawn talking to her dad was leaked all over the internet, and like _everybody_ found out about her crush. And so ever since then, the fandom has been wondering, like, what're DJ and Sammy gonna do about it? But then Dawn _totally_ went off the radar for a couple months, and so the tension has just been _building_ all this time! And since Dawn was _clearly_ nervous when she suggested they all meet later, she's _obviously_ gonna try to work things out with them! _Now_ do you get why this is such an _amazing_ development?"

Shawn gave her a blank look, then scratched his head. "Uhh...I... _guess_?"

"Don't worry about it," Bridgette chuckled, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. "It's a little complicated, but this is probably good news."

"Oh," Shawn smile, "good to hear that. Hopefully when they have their talk they won't get eaten by any _zombies_ that might have stowed away."

"You want me to help you check the plane again?" Bridgette asked the survivalist with a small smile of her own.

"That would be nice, thanks," Shawn said." The two unbuckled and stood up, then as they started to walk off the camera quick-panned in the opposite direction to the entrance to the cabin, where Geoff could just be seen peeking past the curtain that separated to two parts of the plane.

/

"Aww man," the party boy said as the scene cut to him and the sad look on his face, "are you sure we can't invite Bridgette up here to stay with us?" He looked over his shoulder, and the camera pulled back to show Scott standing next to him.

"Sorry, but you heard Lightning," the farmer said with an exaggerated shrug. "First class is for winners _only_." Geoff hung his head sadly and sighed. "Don't worry, though," Scott told him, "it looks like Bridgette's getting along just _fine_ without you."

"Wha...what's that supposed to mean?" Geoff asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"It's just that she's been getting pretty _chummy_ with Shawn, after all," Scott explained with another shrug, turning around to hide his impish smile from his teammate.

"Well yeah, they've been buds ever since first season," Geoff said, confusion still on his face.

"If you say so, man," Scott said as he started walking away from the door. "But if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were into each other." Geoff gasped. "And don't get me started on the sparks that fly every time she looks at _Alejandro_."

Geoff gasped even sharper. "Are you sayin' that my Bridge is...is..."

"Is thinking about other _guys_?" Scott finished with a devilish look. "Who knows? But I know _I'd_ be worried if my girl was acting like Bridgette has been." He walked away, and the camera lingered on Geoff as he shot a nervous look back at the door to economy class.

/

The scene cut to Lightning, Tyler, and Ezekiel relaxing in their seats. A high-pitched squeal signaled the intercom turning on, and the three boys shot annoyed looks upward. "Brace for landing!" Chris announced over it as a few tense notes were struck. "We've arrived at our next destination: The _Amazon_! Buuut the runway's a liiiiittle _short_." The camera focused on Ezekiel grimacing and buckling his seatbelt as another squeal signaled the end of the transmission.

"The Amazon?" Tyler repeated with a grin forming on his face. "Sounds _awesome_ , right dudes? I bet we're gonna dominate it just like the _last_ two challenges!"

"New Guy," Lightning replied with an incredulous look, "how have you not learned by now that Lightning _always_ dominates the challenges?"

"Actually, that's not really-" Ezekiel spoke up.

"Did Lightning _ask_ you?" the uber-jock said sharply, causing the homeschooler to shrink in his seat. "Didn't think so. You and New Guy _both_ need to recognize that Lightning is the reason behind Team Dude's success."

Tyler and Ezekiel exchanged an incredulous look.

/

The scene flashed to a runway in the middle of the jungle as the jet descended into the scene trailing smoke from one of its engines. It touched down in the middle and immediately left the screen, a dramatic riff playing over sounds of a crash that shook the camera.

/

"Welcome to Peru," Chris told them, the cast now gathered in their teams at the jungle's edge. The background noise was filled with the chatter of birds and insects and frogs, and the ruins of a small stone building were visible through the trees. "Birthplace of the _mighty_ Amazon River! This challenge is called the 'Am-AHHHH-Zon Race'," he explained, acting scared as he pronounced the second syllable. "Team must hike along an ancient Inca trail," the camera panned across a dirt path leading through the jungle, "through the Peruvian jungle, all the way to Machu Picchu." Another dramatic score played as the camera cut to the base of the famous site and panned up to the top, where a statue with a familiar silhouette stood atop a building. "Hidden somewhere among the ruins of Machu Picchu, a _golden treasure_ awaits discovery!" The members of Team Universe were shown exchanging excited smiles.

"Find the treasure to win first class passage to our _next_ destination," Chris said. "Last team to arrive at Machu Picchu will have to send someone _out_ the elimination door." One by one each team was shown looking and listening with wary expressions. "And be warned," Shawn immediately looked nervous, "the jungle contains _many_ vicious insects!" The survivalist raised his hand.

"Let me guess," Chris sighed in exasperation, "you wanna know if any of them are known to transmit some kinda zombie plague, don'tcha?"

"Pretty much," Shawn admitted. "You can never be too careful. The vegetation in this place is so dense it could hold just about _anything_."

"True," the host admitted with a thoughtful look, "but zombies aren't one of 'em. What you _should_ be on the look out for are the Zing-Zings," he told them, holding up a photograph. It depicted two brown-skinned individuals in colorful headdresses with monstrous masks that covered their faces; both of them were half-hidden by the trees they were peeking out from behind. "A native tribe who have _nev-er_ encountered modern man," the host explained over a shot of the skeptical members of Team Universe, " _and_ , they're not about too," the photo was shown in close-up. "So, if you spot a Zing-Zing, do. Not. Make. _Contact_." As he spoke, a loud drum started up behind him. "They-" he began to add before pursing his lips and shooting an annoyed look behind him, where the camera revealed Chef Hatchet beating on a tall drum. "Will you stop that?!" Chris said, and the hulking man obliged with a shrug.

"So how far is it to Maggy Pig-Shoe?" Sugar asked.

" _Machu Picchu_ ," the host corrected with a smile, "is a hop, skip, and a jump from here. Plus eighteen hours."

The cast groaned in unison, with Team Chris getting shown by the camera. "The jungle is too dangerous to travel at night," the host warned them, "so, teams will have to break at dusk and camp along the trail until sunrise."

"And I assume there are no tents?" Alejandro asked, a worried Ella beside him.

"Correctamundo," Chris told him. "Now, because the playing area is _so_ vast and dangerous, each team will have a walkie-talkie in case of emergencies." He picked up a cardboard box filled with the devices. "Teams, I wish you good luck," he said as the background music took a deep and ominous turn. "Or, at the very least, a lack of _death_."

/

The footage skipped ahead to Team Chris and Team Victory standing at a fork in their trail, their respective team icons hovering above them on the screen.

"So, what do you think?" Bridgette asked Shawn who was kneeling down and inspecting a bush by the side of the trail.

"Well, I'm pretty sure this plant isn't edible," the survivalist admitted, standing back up. "Also, I have _no_ idea which way to go."

"Hmm," Sierra said as she tapped her chin in thought, drawing her teammate's attention to herself. "Based on the times Chris has presented us with a choice like this in the past," she explained, "65.7% of the time the correct choice was left. But I don't know if that'll be true in the jungle too."

DJ shrugged. "As good a reason as any, I guess."

As Team Chris headed down the left path, the camera moved on to Team Victory. "Well dudes," Geoff told the other boys with a smile on his face as he exchanged a wave with his girlfriend, "how 'bout we go left? Seems like a good path to me."

"Agreed," Scott chimed in.

"Well too bad," Lightning told them. "Sha-Lightning is feelin' sha- _right_ -ning," he pointed a thumb to the right path, "so that's the direction Team Dude is gonna take." Without giving his teammates a chance to respond he dashed off down the path; Tyler and Ezekiel shared a look and a shrug before following suit.

"Aww man, really?" Geoff said, casting a forlorn look down the left path before turning to catch up.

"Crap, there goes my chance to mess with the other team," Scott muttered, lingering behind the longest. He looked back over his shoulder and smiled darkly, and the viewpoint shifted to show Team Universe finally approaching the fork as well. "Go...left...," Scott hissed through his teeth at Sugar, accompanying it with a few short, sharp gestures towards the left as well. The pageant queen was shown raising her brow in realization, and Scott ran off down the right path just as Team Universe reached the fork.

"Finally!" Alejandro said as he gave Sugar, who was at the back of the pack, a dirty look. "What was that farmer _doing_ , anyway?"

"Uhh, I dunno!" the pageant queen lied. "But I'm thinkin' we should go left, on account of Team Chris bein' smarter than Team Guy."

"...a valid point," Alejandro admitted. "Ladies, what do you think?"

"Well, _I_ certainly wouldn't trust the decision-making capabilities of that muscle-headed _brute_ ," Scarlett said.

"The left path _does_ have a slightly better feel to it," Dawn said after peering closely at each path.

"Then we go left," Alejandro declared, pointing off in the chosen direction.

"To the left~!" Ella sang, skipping ahead of the group. "To the left~!"

/

"Welcome, Team Me!" Chris greeted the smallest team as the footage skipped ahead again. They were standing on top a platform rising out of a tree by the river; a zipline extended from above them in the top-right down to the bottom-left part of the screen. "Glad to see my name is _finally_ in the lead. And since you're in first, you get to cross this water hazard using the t-bar," he pointed at the triangular piece hanging just above him. "Everyone else will have to take the line hand-over-hand."

"Sweet!" DJ said happily as Sierra clapped and Bridgette and Shawn shared a grin. The gentle giant grabbed hold of the bar, the camera pulled back to show the girls holding onto his massive arms and Shawn hugging him around the waist, and the team of four took off down the line.

"Wooo hooo~!" Bridgette hollered in excitement as Team Chris rapidly descended.

/

A flash took the scene back to Team Victory, who were now running through the jungle with flies swarming around them.

"Dude!" Geoff called out to Lightning, who as always was at the front of the group. "Don'tcha think we should slow down and pace ourselves a little?"

"And fall behind?" the uber-jock replied with an incredulous look. "Are you for real?"

"He's more for real than _you_ are," Scott spoke up, running alongside the party boy with Tyler and Ezekiel behind them. "We can't _possibly_ keep this going for eighteen hours!"

"I think they got a point, bro," Tyler added. "Besides, thanks to you I'm sure we're already _way_ ahead of the other teams. We can probably slow down and take it easier, so we don't get all _tired_ at the end."

"That...kinda makes sense?" Lightning admitted a tad uncertainly. "Yeah, can't wear ourselves out on the first day of the challenge."

"Especially since I think we're the only team that took this path," Ezekiel added.

"Meanin' _we're_ the only ones headed in the right direction!" Lightning said with a bright and confident grin. He slowed to a stop, then turned around to address his teammates. "Alright Team Dude-Victory, we're gonna ease up for the rest of the day," he told them, the camera panning across their smiling faces. "But _only_ so we can get goin' faster tomorrow, got it?" The shot panned across the other boys again as they grumbled their understanding.

/

A slightly tense tune began to play as the shot cut back over to the zipline, where Team Universe was now standing on the high platform with Chris.

"Wait, isn't there supposed to be something we can use to slide down the line?" Sammy asked in confusion.

"Normally, yes," the host explained with a smile. "But as Team _Me_ got here first, you ladies will have to go without." Sammy turned an anxious look towards the line.

"What a surprise," Scarlett glared. "Now we'll fall even _further_ behind."

"Hey, don't make me shock you," Chris told her sternly.

"We need no _t-bar_ ," Alejandro declared, stepping forward and grabbing the line as the background music welled up dramatically. " _We_ are Team Universe!" Close-ups were shown of him taking off his belt, throwing it over the line, and grabbing Ella around the waist. "Arriba!" he called out as he jumped off the platform and slid down the line.

"Arriba!" Ella copied happily.

"If they can do it, so can _Sugar_!" the pageant queen declared, grabbing the line with both hands and jumping off. The shot pulled back to a distance as it had for Alejandro and Ella, but this time showing a distinct trail of smoke along the line as her bare hands rubbed against it. "My hands are on _fire_!" she hollered in pain before she let go of the line and plunged into the river below.

She immediately jumped up out of the water as several small fishes began to bite and chomp at her. "Oww! Stop that!" she told the fish.

"Oh yes," Chris said as the shot cut back to the platform where Sammy and Dawn were watching with concern and Scarlett seemed to be glaring. "There may or may not be piranhas in this water."

/

The music became tenser as the scene moved back to Team Victory, Geoff now walking at the front of their group. He stopped suddenly and surprise filled his face, and the viewpoint shifted to show a pair of brown-skinned men sitting on rocks on opposite sides of a campfire. They were holding spears, and their garb and masks were identical to the tribe that Chris had warned everyone about.

"Dude, those are _Zing-Zings_!" Geoff whispered to his teammates. "We gotta be careful. Don't wanna make contact, so let's just..." He looked over his shoulder at the other boys, and the camera showed that they had frozen still. Geoff looked back in front, and let out a startled yelp when he saw one of the Zing-Zings staring at him mere inches away. He quickly scrambled back to his teammates, who were shown front-on as a pair of spears were pointed at them.

"What a great path, _Lightning_ ," Scott told the uber-jock.

Ezekiel, who was standing to the right of the two, quickly held up their walkie-talkie. "Hey, Chris?" he whispered into it. "We need some help here, eh!" There was no response, so in growing panic Ezekiel repeated "Yo, Chris? Chris?!" A small panel sprung out the bottom of the device, revealing two free springs. "No batteries," he told Tyler on his other side.

/

The scene cut to a close-up of a pile of batteries lying on what appeared to be the rim of a tub of water. The camera pulled back to show Chef Hatchet in the jumbo jet's hot tub, playing a handheld game console. "Hyaah! Eat that, ghost! Eat it!" he said over the sounds of the game.

/

Back with Team Universe, Chris was standing with Scarlett, Sammy, and Dawn on the treetop platform.

"And naturally, Sugar was the only other person on the team with a _belt_ ," the evil genius grumbled.

"No point complaining now," Sammy told her.

"No, but there _is_ a point in doing _this_ ," Scarlett said with a dark grin as she darted towards the host and tore his belt off his pants, the background music taking a hectic turn.

"H-hey! What're you _doing_!" Chris shouted in alarm, but was unable to stop the cackling brainiac from slinging the pilfered belt over the line and taking off down it.

The camera zoomed out to follow Scarlett as she descended, then moved back in as she was suddenly electrocuted by her collar and dropped into the river.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT!" Chris yelled down at her angrily, one hand on his remote and the other holding up his pants. The sounds of Scarlett getting attacked by piranhas could be heard faintly in the background. "THAT BELT WAS _EXPENSIVE_!" He huffed, then turned back towards the last two girls. "So, who's next?" he asked impatiently.

"Umm, I think we'll go together," Dawn said cautiously. The scene skipped forward to show that she had removed her dark green sweater, revealing the short-sleeved light blue collared shirt she wore beneath. Sammy had strung the sweater over the zipline, and with Dawn clinging to her back she jumped off the platform.

"Look out below!" the cheerleader called out as they reached the far shore, where Sugar and Scarlett were stumbling up the beach looking quite worse for wear. They sluggishly stopped to look behind them, and were immediately bowled over by Sammy and Dawn.

/

Once more, the scene flashed to Team Victory. They were now tied up along the trunk of a massive tree near where the two Zing-Zings were tending to their fire; from left to right were Tyler, Geoff, Lightning, Ezekiel, and Scott.

"Zeke, you speak a lot of languages, right?" Scott asked the homeschooler in a hushed tone. "Can't you _talk_ to them or something?"

"They're an uncontacted tribe, eh!" Ezekiel said. "I don't got a _clue_ what kinda language they speak!"

"Well this is just _perfect_ ," Scott grumbled.

"Wait a minute...," Geoff said in sudden realization. "The flashlight! Maybe we can put the batteries from _it_ into the walkie-talkie!"

"Good idea!" Ezekiel said. "Oh, but wait, it's in my back right pocket and I can't reach it 'cause of the ropes."

"Well, maybe someone _else_ can grab it," Scott said with a pointed look at Lightning.

" _Tell me_ you're not talkin' about Lightning," the uber-jock asked in disbelief.

"Who else can reach?" Scott hissed.

"Nuh-uh, no _way_ is Lightning puttin' his hand down another dude's pants," Lightning protested.

xxx

"Might as well ask me to touch Homeschool's _butt_!" the overachiever continued his protest in the restroom confessional.

xxx

I don't get what the problem was, eh," Ezekiel confessed next. "I mean, I was wearin' a clear pair of underwear. Err, well, as clean as I can get on the _plane_ anyways."

xxx

"Dude, just do it!" Tyler implored his fellow athlete. "You're the only one who can save us right now!"

Lightning pursed his lips in annoyance. "Fine, but you guys owe Lightning a sha- _favor_ after this. Now hold still, Homeschool." He turned his attention to the boy on his left, and the camera focused in on his hand sticking out from under the ropes and reaching into his teammate's pocket. "Got it!" he said, a grin forming on his face and a triumphant tune playing as he pulled out the flashlight.

/

The music took a tense turn as the shot flashed to a close-up of a toucan perched on a branch; it looked back and flew off with a squawk as the camera panned to the right, showing Team Universe entering a small clearing nearby.

"Dusk!" Alejandro said with a brief look skyward. "We can make camp here."

A short pan a little ways back left showed Sugar crawling out of a bush on her hands and knees. "So tired," she moaned. "Need food! Somebody _please_ tell me there's a restaurant around here."

"We're in the middle of the _rainforest_ ," Scarlett snipped as she stepped into the clearing after Ella, Dawn, and Sammy. "Why would there be _anything_ like that out here?"

"How should _I_ know?" Sugar shot back. "I ain't ever been to the jungle before, and neither have you!"

/

The music took a more victorious turn as the focus cut to Team Chris as they ran through the jungle, DJ and Bridgette at the front.

"Chris," the brickhouse said as the four skidded to a stop in front of the host, " _tell_ me you have food 'cause we're starvin'!"

The handsome man, who was standing in front of a long length of rope tied to a tree branch and leading up above off-screen, smiled. "Once again, Team I-Am- _So_ -Awesome, you're in first! And _this_ is your reward!" He took a machete out from behind his back, turned around, and chopped through the rope. A small crate promptly dropped in front of the team, breaking open and revealing a bunch of bananas.

" _Super_ smiley face!" Sierra said in excitement as she and her teammates gazed upon the fruit.

" _All_ the bananas you can eat" Chris said before a high-pitched screech came from his pocket.

"Chris, dude, can you hear me?" Geoff's panicked voice came over the walkie-talkie the host took out. "We've got trouble, dude, with the Zing-Zings and the tree, and-"

"Wow," Chris told the camera blandly as Bridgette gasped in concern. "He sounds like he's really in trouble. I should pick this up."

"The _spears_ , dude!" Geoff's voice came through again.

" _After_ the break!" the host grinned.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The scene faded right back in to Chris and the team named after him staring at the host's walkie-talkie as Geoff's panicked voice repeated "Chris, dude, can you hear me?"

"Walkie-talkies are for _emergencies only_ ," the host said sternly into the device. The close-up of him shrunk and was joined by an equally-small close-up of Geoff, the two scenes set against a black background.

"This _is_ an emergency, dude!" the party boy said quickly. "The _Zing-Zings_! And now we're tied to a _tree_! And there's _spears_!"

"Whoa, Geoff, slow down," Bridgette said as the camera that was on Chris panned right just enough to include her in the shot as well. "You're talking a mile a minute!"

"Sorry babe, it's just that I'm _freaking out_ right now," Geoff told her.

"What's all this racket about?" Sugar interrupted, a third inset scene appearing in the blackness and forcing the first two up.

"I don't know," Chris said into the walkie-talkie, "but if it's not an emergency I don't care."

"It _is_ an emergency," Tyler said as he took hold of his team' walkie-talkie. "We've been captured by Zing-Zings!"

"They've got _spears_ , dude, help us!" Geoff added.

"We have to help them!" Bridgette said in panic.

"Okay!" Chris said with a smile. "Team Victory, remain calm, aaaaanndd..." The pair of dings heralded the appearance of the music note symbol in the lower-right corner, Sugar's inset scene moving aside to accommodate it. The background music was taken over by the tense theme that normally accompanied the build-up to an elimination ceremony.

"Are you sha-jokin'?" Lightning asked, the camera panning onto him as he swiped the walkie-talkie from Geoff.

"Ooh, would you like us to sing back-up?" Ella asked, entering the bottom-left inset next to an annoyed Sugar.

"Nope!" Chris answered. "This one is _all_ Victory. But! Let's make it end with a little _solo_ from Lightning. Aaaaand...begin!"

~/~

[Team Victory's inset immediately took over the scene again as the boys began bobbing their heads in time with a vihuela that one of the Zing-Zings started playing. The camera followed all the way to the end of the tied-up line, where the other Zing-Zing was also playing a vihuela.]

" _If we had just gone left, we wouldn't be in this mess;"_

[Scott opened the song, a panpipe entering the Zing-Zings' music.]

" _I thought so too, but Lightning just had to charge ahead;"_

[Geoff sang, the camera quick-panning to the left and showing another tribesman playing the panpipe.]

" _We got tied up by these guys;"_

[Ezekiel sang as the camera panned past Lightning pursing his lips in annoyance.]

" _And now we're going to die;"_

[Scott added with a sneer.]

" _Team Dude, it's time to cry~y~y~!"_

[Geoff finished the verse, hanging his head sadly.]

[The camera closed in on a Zing-Zing strumming their vihuela, then suddenly zoomed in on the sound hole as the beat dropped. The scene faded back in to an upward-angled shot of Tyler holding a coiled-up length of rope.]

" _Dudes, c'mon, this isn't a joke!"_

[Tyler rapped to a mix of stuttered vihuela riffs and lone drum beats.

" _How could Lightning ever know that we'd find these folks?"_

["Sha-yeah!" the jock in question chimed in from off-screen as Tyler recoiled from a spear that was pointed at him.]

" _Those paths were the same so it's not his fault;"_

[Tyler continued his rap, seemingly pleading with the retreating camera as he took a few steps towards it and put a hand on its side.]

" _So stop pointing fingers and start pointing...salt? Yeah!"_

[Tyler leaned back as he finished his rap, briefly appearing thoughtful as he tried not to fumble the last word, and smiling proudly when he thought of it.]

[Scott and Geoff shared an incredulous look, while between them Lightning raised an eyebrow and Ezekiel just looked smiled blandly.]

" _Sha yeah yeah~!"_

[Lightning quickly began his prescribed solo as the camera focused on him.]

" _No~ot my fa~ult, so do~on't, blame me!"_

~/~

As soon as the solo ended the music did as well, and the Zing-Zings dropped their instruments. They gasped, then pointed at Lightning and jabbered something in their native tongue that caused Ezekiel to raise an eyebrow.

"Hold on, was that-?" he murmured thoughtfully as the Zing-Zings scampered away.

"What're they doin' now?!" Lightning asked in alarm.

The shot cut to the Zing-Zings as they jabbered something else and pulled back some long leaves to reveal a large bust carved into a tree that bore a resemblance to the uber-jock. The camera focused in on the golden lightning bolt symbol on the bust's neck, which gleamed in the sunlight and looked identical to the necklace that Lightning always wore.

"Dude, maybe they think you're like a god!" Geoff whispered to his teammate.

"Then what does that make _us_?" Scott asked as the camera showed the two Zing-Zings approaching in a menacing fashion.

/

The scene flashed to a bunch of banana peels scattered on the ground before the camera panned up and over to Team Chris, who were gathered around a campfire. DJ and Sierra were both curled up asleep, but Shawn and Bridgette were still awake.

"I don't think I'm _ever_ gonna be able to sleep tonight," the surfer said. "I'm just too worried about Geoff!"

"He'll be okay," Shawn told her. "They all will. I mean, it's not like they were captured by _zombies_ or anything."

"They were tied up and held at _spear point_!" Bridgette countered.

"True," the survivalist admitted, "but Chris _did_ say he was gonna send someone out to rescue them. Plus they're still coming over the walkie talkie now and then."

Their gazes turned to the walkie-talkie just as Geoff's voice came over it. "Dudes, this is getting _seriously_ freaky!"

It cut off there, and Bridgette sighed and hung her head. "That doesn't make me feel much better."

Just then, a rustling from the bushes got their attention. Shawn immediately tensed up along with the background music, but that quickly eased up into something more lilting as the camera zoomed in on a tree and a small monkey poked its head out of the leaves.

"Huh," Bridgette said as the monkey dropped to the ground and cautiously walked towards them. "I guess it was attracted by the bananas..."

The shot pulled out as, all at once, countless more monkeys stuck their heads out of the surrounding foliage.

"Great..." Shawn said nervously.

/

Another flash took the scene to another campfire, this time where Team Universe was making their camp. Alejandro and Ella were sleeping next to each other on the ground, as were Dawn and Sammy, while Sugar and Scarlett were sitting closest to the flames.

"Consider yourself _lucky_ that I still require an alliance," Scarlett hissed angrily to the pageant queen. "Just don't assume that I've _forgiven_ you for attempting to eliminate me in the Yukon."

"Well, I was only goin' with the _flow_ ," Sugar explained in a whisper. "Can't blame me fer that. Buuut...," she added slowly with a roll of her head, "I _am_ willin' to get into an alliance with you now. I'm gettin' sick of _those_ two," she nodded towards Alejandro and Ella, "actin' all lovey-dovey, so-"

A ferocious growl from nearby interrupted her, and prompted both girls to look around for the source of the noise. "This isn't good," Scarlett said as the camera pulled back to show the whole group as another growl caused Alejandro, Ella, and Sammy to wake up.

"What is that?" Alejandro asked.

"Dawn, wake up!" Sammy told her still-sleeping friend in a close-up, nudging the girl with her hand. The mystic was tossing and turning and murmuring in a not-at-all peaceful manner.

The camera cut back to the group shot as Sugar leaned forward and blew on the fire, causing it to flare up just enough to illuminate a group of truly monstrous caterpillars that had surrounded the team. One reared back and spit something at the flame that extinguished it, and the waking members of Team Universe began to scream as the giant larvae attacked them in darkness.

/

Yet another flash took the focus back to the tree-carved bust that resembled Lightning, now illuminated only by the light of the nearby campfire. The camera panned to the left, where Lightning was now seated on a wooden throne and getting attended to by the two Zing-Zings.

"Sha- _watch it_ , dudes!" he told them angrily, even flailing his arms to drive them away. They backed off obligingly, revealing that they had painted Lightning's face in a fashion that resembled the markings on the carved bust. "That's right, don't mess with the Lightning!"

The camera zoomed out to show the two Zing-Zings kneeling on either side of the throne, spears in hand. They raised their heads and jabbered something to one another, and the shot cut to the other members of Team Victory who were still tied to the tree trunk.

"Okay, this is startin' to get _weird_ , eh," Ezekiel commented, his brow raised in disbelief.

"It's only _starting_ to get weird?" Scott repeated with disbelief of his own.

xxx

"The Zing-Zing's language almost sounds like a dialect of Spanish," Ezekiel explained in the restroom confessional. "But I don't see how that's possible, on account of them bein' an isolated tribe that's never been contacted by modern man before. Unless maybe Chris was _wrong_ about that," he finished with a thoughtful head-scratch.

xxx

The footage skipped forward to the smoldering remains of a stone-lined campfire pit; the sun had clearly risen. The camera panned up and to the right, showing most of Team Universe battered and holding long sticks. Alejandro was on one knee and looking the most alert; Scarlett and Sugar were leaning against each other and looking incredibly sleepy; Sammy was also alert as she crouched over the still-sleeping form of Dawn; and Ella was nowhere to be seen.

"Daybreak!" Alejandro said, causing three of the girls behind him to stir and stand up. "I'll go find Ella, the rest of you should head towards Machu Picchu and get a head start on finding that treasure."

Scarlett and Sugar ran off past him with little more than a grunt of acknowledgment, while Sammy tried to jostle her friend awake.

"Get _up_ , Dawn!" she told the mystic. "We have to get moving!"

The shot cut closer to Dawn's face as she blearily opened her eyes. "I...no...what? S-Sammy? What's...?"

"Don't worry about it," the cheerleader said, the shot pulling back out as she helped her friend to her feet. "I'll explain on the way, but I'm surprised you slept through all that!"

"...yes...," Dawn murmured, shaking her head rapidly as she tried to wake up.

"Good luck finding Ella!" Sammy told Alejandro as she grabbed Dawn by the hand and lead her down the path at a jog.

"Thank you!" Alejandro called back to her.

/

A single dramatic note played as the scene flashed to the members of Team Chris crawling up a steep staircase cut into the side of a mountain. Oddly, all of them were being ridden by a few of the tiny monkeys that had visited their camp last night. The four finally reached the top, and the camera panned to the left a little ways as Chris walked up.

"Welcome, Team Me!" he greeted. "Somehow, the four of you are _still_ in first place. Find the treasure before anyone else," he said with a motion behind him that was matched by the camera zooming out to reveal the ruins of Machu Picchu, "and you'll leave Peru in _first class_."

"Yay!" Sierra said brightly. "This is _so_ exciting."

"I gotta ask, though," the host said with a frown, "what's with the monkeys?" The camera zoomed in on one that was sitting on Shawn's head; it combed through his hair with its fingers, pulled out a small insect, and happily ate it.

"They were attracted by those bananas you gave us," DJ said, happily patting one of the monkeys on the head. "They haven't left us alone since."

"To be honest it's a little _unnerving_ ," Shawn added, "but at they haven't bitten any of us yet."

"Darn," Chris said, still frowning.

/

The scene skipped ahead again, now showing four members of Team Universe running up the stone steps with Sugar in the lead.

"Uh-uh-uhh," the host tutted to them at the plateau at the top, "you can't start searching until the whole team is here."

"You neglected to mention that _earlier_ ," Scarlett snapped. "Are you just making up rules on _impulse_?"

"And this surprises you because...?" Chris asked.

"It doesn't...," the evil genius admitted.

"Ella got captured by some giant caterpillars last night after she sang to them," Sammy explained. "But Alejandro went to rescue her, so they shouldn't be _that_ long...right?" The camera closed in on her worried expression as a few more tense notes were struck in the background music.

/

"Lightning, get these _weirdos_ to let us go already!" Scott said angrily as the scene flashed to Team Victory, four of whom had apparently spent the night tied to the tree.

In response, he was met by two spears getting thrust into his face and some more angry words from the two Zing-Zings holding them all captive.

"Why'd you have to go and do that for?" Lightning told Scott. "Lightning's been _tryin_ ' to keep these dudes happy so they don't sacrifice y'all, and you mighta just messed it up!"

"They're not gonna sacrifice _anybody_ , eh," Ezekiel said, giving the two Zing-Zings a stern and unamused look. "I can understand enough of what they're sayin' to _know_ that they understand English, and that they _know_ who we are. They aren't _real_ Zing-Zings, they're just messing with us, eh!"

Tyler, Geoff, and Scott all gave him stunned looks, as did Lightning. The two masked men shared a look, then dropped their spears and began untying the ropes binding Team Victory to the massive tree trunk.

"Sorry, guys," one of them said in clear Spanish-accented English as the ropes fell away from the utterly shocked contestants, "we just couldn't help ourselves."

/

"Ella!" Alejandro called out as the scene flashed to him walking through the jungle. "Where are you?"

"Over here!" the princess's voice came faintly from off-screen. Alejandro's face lit up, and he bounded through the bushes.

The camera cut in close as his boots hit the ground again, the zoomed out dramatically to show the charmer standing in a clearing before a massive cocoon, Ella's head sticking out the top.

"What happened?!" Alejandro asked in alarm, walking up to the cocoon.

"Oh, those adorable caterpillars just _loved_ my singing!" Ella explained in a happy whisper. "So much that they brought me here to sing to them for the rest of my life."

"Don't worry, I'm here to rescue you," her teammate said, easily tearing away at the silk wrappings.

"Oh, thank you," Ella said with a blush. "But I must ask, where are Sugar and the others?"

Alejandro sighed sadly. "The others wanted to leave you here and go ahead," he explained. "But I _refused_ to move on until I found you."

"Oh my, I can't believe they'd _do_ that," Ella said, quite distraught.

"Neither can I, but I heard it myself," Alejandro said as he finished tearing the cocoon open and helped Ella out of it.

"At least I can always count on you, Alejandro," Ella said, giving the charmer a small smile. He returned it, then turned his back to her and adopted a slightly more sinister, if uncertain, expression.

/

The scene cut back to Machu Picchu, where Team Chris could be seen searching the ruins while most of Team Universe waited on a log near the top of the steps with the host checking his watch nearby.

"Tick-tock tick-tock," Chris said as the camera zoomed in on him, then panned over to the four girls as they looked around impatiently. The sound of footsteps got their attention, and all but Dawn raised their heads to look as Alejandro and Ella finally arrived on the mountaintop.

"Let's find that treasure!" Alejandro said after pausing a moment to catch his breath. He ran into the ruins with Ella following happily; Scarlett and Sugar promptly followed them, but Sammy had to nudge Dawn before she got on her feet and started moving too.

Calmly, Chris moved to take their place on the log and even whistled to himself as he did. A couple grunts of effort came from off-screen, then Sugar exclaimed "I found it!"

"This is weird," the host commented, the camera zooming in on him as he stood back up and walked over to see what had happened.

The shot cut to Sugar wrestling with some sort of crystal-topped stone pillar that was stuck into the ground. "Hey Sugar," Chris asked as he walked over, "what'cha doin'?"

"What's it look like? I'm gettin' that _olden treasure_ like you said!" the pageant queen explained impatiently, pausing to wipe the sweat from her brow.

"We're looking for a _golden_ treasure," Scarlett interjected, the camera panning left a little to show her watching nearby. "Not an _olden_ one!"

"Scarlett's right," Chris said with a nod as the shot panned back to him and Sugar's eyes widened.

"Hey, we found it!" Shawn exclaimed as he and his teammates ran up, still accompanied by a few tiny monkeys. The survivalist was holding a melon-sized and vaguely head-shaped golden idol, the sight of which caused the host to grin.

"Speaking of, looks like Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean found it! They win the challenge!" The music took a triumphant turn following his announcement, and the members of the winning team cheered. Even their monkey companions joined in, the camera zooming in on a pair on DJ's back that exchanged a happy high-five.

"Aww shoot, then what's this thing?" Sugar said with a frown, turning her attention back to the strange pillar. She finally pulled it out of the ground, and the shot cut up to the sky. A hollow sound was accompanied by sparkling noises as a cloud moved away from the sun, and the rays struck the pyramidal crystal that topped Sugar's pillar.

Sugar gasped as it began to radiate teal light and emit a sort of reverberating wubbing, and the music became ominous and tense as the whole mountain began to shake. Stone began to crack and crumble and fall, monkeys shrieked and fled, and with a cry of "RUN!" from the host the people gathered fled for their lives.

The ruins collapsed behind them, kicking up a cloud of dust.

/

"Wait, so if you guys aren't Zing-Zings," Geoff asked in confusion as the shot flashed back to Team Victory, "then who _are_ you?"

"They look like local Peruvian _teenagers_ to me," came the surly voice of Chef Hatchet as he walked out of the nearby bushes with a cleaver in hand.

"But what about the costumes, and the masks?" Tyler asked.

The two locals looked at each other, shrugged, and took off their masks. "We're actors," one said, holding up a flier with an image of a castle turret on it.

"We play the porters in this year's 'Shakespeare in the Jungle' production of 'Macbeth'," the other added.

"You stumbled on us while we were practicing, so we decided to mess with you guys a little," the first said. "Sorry for the trouble."

As he and his companion walked away, Lightning yelled "You sha- _better_ be!"

A few moments passed in silence as the team regrouped, then Chef said "By the way, you lost the challenge. Y'all gotta vote someone off."

"Well nobody better be votin' for _Lightning_ ," the uber-jock said. "He's the only reason you guys didn't die last night!"

"We weren't _gonna_ die," Scott countered.

"But we didn't find that out until just now!" Lightning counter-countered. "We should probably vote off someone useless, like _Homeschool_."

"Hey!" Ezekiel said in outrage.

"Dude, why?" Tyler asked in disbelief. "He's the reason those guys let us go!"

"Well would you rather we voted for you, New Guy?" the overachiever asked. "'Cause Lightning didn't see _you_ doin' anythin' today."

A few dramatic notes played as the camera zoomed out to show the rest of Team Victory giving Tyler thoughtful looks, to which the boy groaned and slapped his face.

/

A dramatic tune played over a shot of the jumbo jet flying away from the camera, towards the sun and over a mountain range. The camera then flashed inside to a plate of cookies, and a classically elegant tune began to play as the shot zoomed back. The cookies were being carried by a white woman, a flight attendant by her uniform, who brought them to the lounging members of Team Chris.

"I am _loving_ first class," Bridgette said as she grabbed a cookie and stuffed it into her mouth.

"I gotta admit, it has its perks," Shawn said, taking a cookie for himself before the flight attendant turned and walked away.

"Hey guys," DJ spoke up, standing in the aisle next to the couch his teammates were sitting on, "would it be okay if-"

"You went and had your _secret meeting_ with Sammy and Dawn?" Sierra finished, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"Go right ahead," Bridgette said with a bit of laughter. "And good luck, too."

"Thanks!" DJ told them with a grin.

xxx

Dawn opened her confessional with a deep sigh. "Where should I begin...," she murmured, her head hung for a moment before she looked up at the camera. "Last night, I had a _very_ unusual dream. Normally I can control what comes at night, but not this time. I...," she took a deep breath as the background music turned tense and ominous, "I believe it was a _vision_. The Universe has sent me a warning that something _terrible_ is going to happen, and although I don't know exactly what it is, _I_ must be the one to stop it."

"The only problem is that I don't think I'll be able to do so while I remain on the plane, with the others," she admitted sadly. "But...as Daddy says, sometimes we must go where the Universe wants us to, even if it takes us away from the ones we love. I...," she faltered for a split second, "I've left a letter for Sammy and DJ where we promised to meet explaining what I'm doing, as well as the suspicions I've been having about Scott and Sugar. I can't _bare_ to tell them everything in person. But I am confident that they will understand."

xxx

The tense music continued as the scene flashed to a close-up of a pale pink envelope lying on the floor of what was revealed to be the cargo hold when the camera zoomed out. Footsteps could be heard approaching, but the two who entered the scene seconds later weren't Sammy or DJ.

"You're _lucky_ I didn't mess up today," Scott hissed at Sugar. "Otherwise _I'd_ be gone, and _you'd_ be left all alone!"

"What was I supposed to do, huh?" the pageant queen countered in a hushed tone. "Those other guys were ahead of us even _before_ little miss _singy-pants_ got herself hauled off by a buncha oversized bugs."

"I don't know, you probably could've done _something_!" Scott said, throwing his hands up.

"And _I'm_ sayin' there was _nothin_ '!" Suagr countered. "Do you even know what I went through last night?" she added, starting to tear up. "I'm lucky to be _alive_!"

Scott seemed at a loss for how to deal with his crying ally, and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Look, I'm _sorry_ okay? It's not your fault my team lost," he told her. "It's just that the two of us need to work harder to make sure we don't get voted off."

"R-really?" Sugar sniffed, her tears causing her mascara to run.

"Yeah," Scott said awkwardly. "Now, uhh, I gotta go cast my vote. I'll see you later."

He turned and walked away, but the camera lingered on Sugar. She sniffed one more time, then wiped away her tears and grinned. "Well that was easy," she said under her breath. She took a step forward, then looked down and stopped. The shot cut to the pink envelope lying at her feet, and the music turned ominous once again as she bent down and picked it up.

"Now what's this?" she asked in confusion as she looked it over. Shrugging, she opened it up and pulled out a piece of paper. The camera zoomed in on her eyes slowly moving side to side as she read, then pulled back as she gasped.

xxx

"I don't know what she was thinkin' writin' this," Sugar said in the restroom confessional, the letter in her hand, "but I am _not_ gonna let somethin' this valuable go. You'll be safe in here, little letter," she said cheerily as she folded the paper back up and stuffed it into her blouse.

xxx

/

The scene moved to the elimination room, Team Victory's logo spinning into view in the top left corner of the screen.

"Alright Team Dude," Chris greeted the five boys sitting on the stands, all of whom perked up, "are you ready to find out who you chose to eliminate?" The camera cut to the host, who was leaning against a the drum that served as his podium and was pointing a remote control at a nearby television set. "What'cha think, New Guy? Ready to find out what your teammates _really_ think?" Tyler was shown frowning at the host.

"Let's see who you _all_ voted for!" Chris said happily. "Just for _fun_!" He pushed a button, and the camera panned close to the television as it cut from static to a video of Lightning standing in the restroom confessional.

xxx

"Lightning has thought long and hard on this," the uber-jock said as he stamped one of the passports laid out on the counter top, "and he's votin' for _Scott_. Dude's just too sketchy! Even New Guy and Homeschool ain't _that_ bad!"

xxx

The television cut to static, then cut back in to Geoff's vote. "I know Lightning messed up today," he said while holding up someone else's passport, "but I can't _stand_ what Scott's been saying about Bridgette!" He put the farmer's passport back down, then stamped it.

xxx

Another bout of static transitioned the footage to the voting confessional of Scott himself. "See ya later, _Lightning_ ," he said with a mocking sneer.

xxx

"Who's useless now, eh?" Ezekiel said in the fourth clip as he aggressively stamped Lightning's passport.

xxx

The fifth and final voting confessional was Tyler's, and his face was filled with uncertainty as he looked from Scott's passport in his left hand to Lightning's in his right. "I know Scott did some bad stuff last time he played," Tyler said while looking at the farmer's passport, "but Lightning's been dissing all of us, especially me and Zeke! And we've been really helping the team win, too! I thought it was getting better, too, but then it just got worse again at today's challenge..."

He sighed, then added "I really hate doing this, but you give me no choice. I really look up to you as an athlete, but if you're not gonna treat me like an equal then I don't want you around." He put both passports down, then grabbed the rubber stamp. "I'm voting for Lightning," he said as he stamped the uber-jock's passport.

xxx

A few drum beats played as the television cut back to static and Chris popped up in front of it. "There! All done!"

The camera cut to the five boys. Scott was glaring at a sheepish Geoff; Tyler was hanging his head in shame; and Lightning was sitting with eyes wide and mouth gaping.

"Sha- _what_?!" he exclaimed, standing up forcefully. "You guys voted for _me_?!"

"Well ya didn't leave us much choice, eh!" Ezekiel told him.

Lightning glared at him for a second, then turned sharply on his heel and crossed his arms. "Fine! Lightning was too good for this show anyway!" He walked towards the host, snatched the parachute pack that was silently offered to him, and kept moving with his eyes shut uncaringly.

"Later, dude," Chris told the overachiever. "And watch out, that first step's a _big one_."

"Sha- _duh_ ," Lightning said, opening his eyes to glare back at the host. "Lightning knows-"

The overachiever suddenly dropped off the screen, and the camera pulled back to show that he'd walked right out the open door without realizing it. He could be heard screaming "THAAAAAATT!" as he fell through the air outside, Chris leaning out the door to watch with mild interest.

xxx

"So _Party Boy_ doesn't like what I said about his girl, eh?" Scott said in the restroom confessional, leaning forward slightly with his hands on his knees. "That just means it's _getting_ to him. And _that_ just means I should double down on it. Because now that Lightning's out of the picture, _nothing_ is gonna stop me from running this team. _Nothing_."

xxx

The confessional footage cut to static on another television screen, the camera pulling back to reveal it hanging in the jet's cockpit as the series' capstone theme began to play.

"Ooooooh," Chris said mockingly, "Scott's maaaad!" He laughed, then looked straight at the camera. "Tune in for the fallout, next time! On Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" The season's own blaring theme played as the camera pulled back for a distance shot of the plane, and a flock of birds passed by underneath the plane.

The shot held there for a second, but rather than fade out as usual the camera rapidly zoomed in – through the cockpit, through the floor of first class, and into the cargo hold where DJ and Sammy walked up to one another with confusion on their faces. And as the camera moved, the background music rapidly became tenser and more ominous.

"Have you found Dawn?" Sammy asked.

"No, and I'm pretty sure we've looked everywhere!" DJ replied.

"I hope she didn't get cold feet or anything...," Sammy said with a worried look. "She's been acting strange ever since she woke up this morning. I hope she's okay."

"Well we're not gonna find out until we find her," DJ said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Now c'mon, let's keep looking for her."

"Right," Sammy nodded. "She's gotta be around here _somewhere_."

The music spiked dramatically, then just as rapidly fell away all together as the shot cut outside.

/

The Total Drama Jumbo Jet was still flying towards the sun, but the camera quickly pulled back and down, further and further, until the crumbled ruins of Machu Picchu. A lone figure could just be made out standing atop a pile of rubble, and the camera quickly cut in for a close-up.

Even the birds were silent as Dawn watched the plane fly away.

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

"Man, this sha- _bites_ ," Lightning complained at the camera as he floated down through the open air, his parachute already safely deployed. "Seriously, reality TV has gotta be like the _one_ game that Lightning ain't the best at. I mean, three seasons and I ain't won yet? I never woulda believed it had I not just lived through it."

"Guess I shoulda paid more attention to what those other guys were feelin'," he said with a thoughtful look as he began to drift past treetops. "Especially that New Guy, whatshisname. Guess he was too _soft_ for Lightning's tough love."

Branches obscured the camera as he continued to fall, and when he was finally seen again he was dangling over a clearing from his parachute, which had snagged on a branch. He quickly cringed and raised his legs up as four spears were pointed at him, and the camera panned down to reveal a group of Zing-Zings in a clearing below.

"Uh, hey there!" Lightning greeted awkwardly. "You're more of those actors guys, right? Y'all wanna help sha-Lightning down?"

The Zing-Zings jabbered something angry, and poked their spears at him again.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Eliminating Lightning was, by far, the most difficult decision I've made in this series to date. He's such a beloved character that I know I'll have broken more than one heart by giving him the Drop of Shame today. But on the other hand, I couldn't find a good reason not to. See, I knew for awhile that this was gonna be a double elimination, more or less, and that Dawn was definitely gonna be dropping out. That meant that Team Universe wasn't gonna be losing the challenge and thus two team members, and since Team Chris lost Beardo last week I didn't want them voting someone out this time. That left Team Victory - and unfortunately for Lightning, I still need to give the four white boys some screentime and development. As such, Lightning fell victim to his own attitude, and in doing so gave Tyler and Ezekiel the chance to stick up for themselves.

If it's any consolation, Lightning will get a song in the first Aftermath next week, as will Beardo. Still, I am sorry that I had to vote the guy out third - I tried coming up with other arrangements, and even other team compositions, but nothing ended up fitting with what I wanted for this season. My apologies for the disappointment. I did want to at least give him a decent sending off with an elimination that made sense, and although a lot of you probably saw it coming early in the chapter if you recalled how the canon episode went, I think I at least made Lightning's elimination make sense.

Regarding Dawn, as I mentioned earlier I've known for awhile that I wanted her to essentially quit in the first quarter for some time now. Leaving it until episode five just made it more dramatic, I think even if it does pretty obviously cut/re-purpose the bits of plot she was starting to accumulate. But of course, it might just be that her willing and secret departure was not the correct choice, as we'll no doubt see later in the season...

But, ah, that's enough of that! Today's song is called 'Team Dude's Lament', because the title of its canon counterpart contains a slur that I refuse to use. As should be obvious, it is basically the same song - since the music was started and played by the fake Zing-Zings, I decided the correct move was to make the shuffled song for this episode fill it's canon counterpart's mold, so to speak. I hope everyone enjoyed it, even Tyler's awkward rapping!

I'm fairly certain I've done a better job of distributing the screentime, I hope. Shawn and Sierra could still use some more attention I think, but I'll do my best to rectify that in the second quarter. I hope everyone enjoyed the totally dramatic chapter, and is looking forward to the first Aftermath next week and the fallout with the main cast the week after!

Let me know what you think!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)


	6. Chapter 6 - The Aftermath IV

**Author's Note**

Here we are, folks, at the first Aftermath of the season! I'm aware that these episodes aren't exactly the most popular, but they gotta be done. Hopefully you'll all at least enjoy seeing the non-contestants in this little intermission between segments of the season's main plot.

Regarding next week's chapter, I have unfortunately not quite finished it - working out the song ended up taking up more time than I'd liked, but luckily there's only like three or four minutes worth of material left to write - an easy job for Saturday.

I'd also like to remind everyone that _**a TVTropes page for this series exists, and is in need of love.**_ A huge thanks to Animation Adventures (formerly Karts of Sugar Rush) for putting so much work into it, as well as the couple others that have helped. But there's still so much that can be added, so if you have the time and the know-how I'd greatly appreciate your help in fleshing out the page.

The last little bit I want to say before getting on with the reviews is that The Ridonculous Race has, by the time I actually get this chapter posted, finished it's second amazing week. Episode 11 is still about thirty minutes away as I write this and I've been avoiding watching it online, but I'm confident it'll be a great episode. I hope everyone has been enjoying the new installment to the Total Drama franchise as much as I have!

On to the reviews.

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** Aha, glad you liked the final scene with Dawn - I was hoping it would shock people.

 **Guest:** Ah, right, I see. Well, the only reason I took those 'breaks' after the first two seasons was to build up my buffer - chapters are written a week in advance, but the two double-length specials had to be posted as soon as they were finished. Then a I skipped a week of posting so that I could write the first two chapters of the next season before it premiered. In truth, I haven't skipped a week of writing this series since it began.

 **Zak Saturday:** Not much...Ella is crushing pretty hard on Alejandro, and Alejandro may be having some second thoughts about using that against her.

 **Animation Adventures:** Thanks! I'm glad you liked my decision to boot Lightning, and even more so that you liked the chapter. As for what Dawn is up to, or what she was thinking...well, as you said, it's an intriguing mystery that won't be answered until, well, it's answered. Oh, and I love 'I'm Gonna Make It' as well. Really, nearly all of the end-game songs are just golden, and I'm gonna try to recapture their essences once I finally get to those episodes next year.

 **DSX62415:** Well, you're certainly right in that the plot comes first. As for whether or not Dawn will return, and when...well, the first is pretty much a given; but I'm not about to spoil the latter. As for Ninninger...well, it's been okay so far. Kasumi is really the only one I really like, but the rest aren't awful or anything.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Haha, I'm glad I surprised you! I hope you enjoy what happens next...

 **lordkalel:** Thanks! As for whether or not Area 51 will be involved with the Great Danger that Dawn saw...well, youll just have to wait and see.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Ah, I see. I'm glad you liked what Sugar's been doing so far, it's been fun exploring her character ore than in season one. And I'm also happy you're liking Shawn getting more screentime, since it's something I've been trying to make up for. As for Tyler's subplots...well, he certainly isn't done yet in that regard.

 **The Prime Writer:** You got that right! This season I've been trying more than ever to make the chapters right before the Aftermaths be pretty important plot-wise. They're milestones, I feel, and as such should be extra dramatic. Glad to hear you're looking forward to this week's chapter, too! It won't have too many answers to the questions you asked just out of necessity, but I think it'll be enjoyable nonetheless.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Glad to hear you liked the episode! Well, except for you not really liking Ezekiel or Tyler, but everyone has their favorites so it's no big deal to me. Glad to know you're liking Geoff, though! And as for Dawn...well, to an extent she doesn't want to confront her feelings, but more importantly she did actually have a dream-vision that she's considering even more important. I guess she's kind of weird like that.

 **aloasa:** Haha, well at least in the sense that they both willingly dropped out of the game. As for what's gonna happen with Scott and Sugar, Geoff and Bridgette, Alejandro and Ella...well, you'll have to wait until next week at the very earliest, I'm afraid.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yeah, that's pretty much what I've been hinting at for the entire series.

 **FOWLKON:** Yup, you've got a pretty good handle on some of the consequences of Dawn's departure. I won't spoil the specifics, though, or what Scott's trying to do either. Oh, and for the record? Please don't post spoilers in reviews, even though admittedly I did know of that particular development. Also for the record? NoCo is a bottom-tier ship. Always has been, and always will be. Nowen is the best gay Noah ship, and while I am disappointed it was kind of sunk I am also liking Nemma.

 **Bruno14:** Thanks! I'm glad you liked the song last chapter, and what's been going on between the contestant.

 **Nickie Mudkip:** Right, right, fair enough. I knew going into last week that I would be disappointing some people, and you just happen to be the first one that posted. At least Lightning's gonna be a guest on today's episode, though. And while I could have had Dawn decide to leave publicly...it just wasn't what I felt she would do. She didn't wanna have to face anybody on her way out, and so she didn't. And yeah, Lightning's part of last week's song was probably the most awkward to imagine, but I couldn't work out a better way to write it.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Thank you so much! It's always really great to hear from long-time readers, first-time reviewers. I'm glad I was able to make you like Scott and Sugar more, since they're pretty important to the story right now. And yeah, I'm watching and loving The Ridonculous Race - hard to say who my favorites are at this point, but I've enjoyed rpetty much everyone. As for whether or not I ever include the new characters in my work...it's hard to say right now. I'm not entirely certain what fics I'll be writing in the future, but I'd say it's pretty likely that I'll make use of the new characters at some point.

 **Star Saber21:** Haha, I'm glad you liked Team Chris' victory, but in all honesty I was just cribbing that from canon - it was one of the few episodes in which the canon version of Team Victory actually won. I did re-purpose the monkeys, though, and I'm glad you liked what I did with them. Same for the various tricks and scheming that are going around. As for Dawn's sleeping problems being related to her inability to meditate on the plane...well, perhaps there could be something to that, I hadn't actually thought of it so thank you for bringing it up!

 **OMAC001:** Well, perhaps not this chapter as it's an Aftermath, but eventually...

 **Boggie445:** Ah, I don't think so. I'm not really looking for a recurring animal character right now, sorry.

 **TaitanoRules555:** Thanks, but I can't take credit for a scene that was in canon.

 **I. M. Poik:** Ah, nice to hear it! And...really? You spoil yourself like that? That's honestly kind of unexpected. But I guess it's worked for you so far... Anyway, I'm glad you understand the reasoning behind Lightning's elimination, and that you're curious about Dawn's departure. Hopefully it'll all pan out as well as I've envisioned it. Same with the other plot developments which, as you've said, will happen next week. For now? The Aftermath.

 **Knifez:** Hah, yeah, I knew you'd be annoyed that Lightning was eliminated. Although I'm kinda glad that it's more the 'how' than the 'why' - I figured you'd object about some of his development from last season being ignored, and perhaps that it was too obvious too early. My thoughts regarding the votes, at least, was that I still wanted to build some suspense - have two obvious votes for Lightning from Scott and Ezekiel, followed by two votes for someone else. I'll admit that my earliest idea for this vote was that it would be Geoff who cast the deciding vote against Lightning while Tyler stuck by him, but I ended up deciding that it would be a bigger step for Tyler to vote for Lightning instead to show that he has his limits with what he'll put up with. And once I decided that, I figured Geoff would be the one to vote for Scott, and that Lightning also voting Scott would hopefully work as well (even though it didn't quite). I wouldn't say this whole situation is a cop-out on my part to get rid of Lightning early, but rather that once I to think of an idea I like even a little bit, I tend to latch onto and go with it no matter what (Dawn leaving is also an example). It hasn't always worked out perfectly for me, but it's the writing style I'm comfortable and I don't intend on changing it.

 **Ddynamo:** Yeah, sorry you had to see that. Not much else to say to the short review, but thanks for the continued reading!

 **NewAgeHero:** Forget about Blaineley? Sorry, not gonna happen. Though I will grant that giving Lightning that spot has crossed my mind, but I just really don't think I'll be doing it.

 **Ruffhero77:** Ah, thanks, it's nice to hear that. I don't think the build-up was quite as good as I would've liked, but I suppose it does work for most people. And yeah, Dawn's departure was meant to be sudden in shocking, so I'm not surprised it left a bad taste. Don't worry, though, I'm not gonna forget about her.

 **ashDanLand:** Well, I'm glad you liked last chapter! I hope you like this chapter too. I'm not really a fan of people quitting reality shows either, but what works for the plot works for the plot.

 **ferguson97:** Thanks! And I'm glad I was able to make you happy about Lightning's development, even though I had to eliminate him. I hope you like his appearance this episode as well. As for the skipping around with the episodes...well, I just wanted to change things up a bit, keep all you readers on your toes and such.

 **BuckJohnson:** Hey, I'm glad you liked it! how the season is turning out so far! And yeah, I've been trying to avoid the losing streak that canon had. The eliminations aren't perfectly balanced, though, but you'll have to wait to see what I mean.

 **musicalBooknerd13:** Well...I'm glad you like how I'm portraying Ezekiel at least. And also Sierra, Shawn, and Bridgette too. Thanks for the review!

 **VIPGuest:** Thanks! And yeah, I can understand finding some of the songs awkward. I'm still not really sure how I can make them better. As for when The Ridonculous Race is gonna come out in Australia...sorry, I have no idea. As far as I know nothing's been announced for anywhere yet, so the only ones who'd know is whatever network is gonna air it.

 **wifishark:** Right, that's kind of what I was hoping - Lightning's had a good run, so it's not that bad if he gets an early boot here. I hope you like the Aftermath!

 **Sleep Arypsure:** No problem, no problem. To be honest, I'm a little out of it too after answering so many reviews. The important thing to me is that you liked last chapter, so thanks for letting me know.

Phew! That's all of them, finally. Took longer than I expected, so sorry for getting this chapter out so late. It won't change today, but the remaining contestants are as follows:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Tyler, Geoff

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Bridgette, Shawn, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

We've got the season's first Aftermath today, and two new songs along with it. I hope you enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 6 – The Aftermath: Lightning Strikes Thrice**

A riff from an electric guitar opened the episode, the scene fading into a close-up of a spinning blue globe. As the camera moved up across Africa and Europe, the words 'TOTAL' and 'DRAMA' appeared in white block letters with a flash, moving up at an angle to make room for 'WORLD TOUR' in two additional rows of larger letters. One final word, 'AFTERMATH', appeared below it in a shower of stars, and as the theme music reached a tentative low the gleam from the words took over the whole screen.

xxx

"I just wish I'd had the time to figure out what _really_ happened to our video." Beardo sighed, then put his hands to his mouth and began to play 'Taps'. He made his way to the exit, then stopped playing to accept the parachute pack from the smiling host. He put in on, but paused before jumping to make the sound of a lightbulb clicking on. "Hold up," he said with realization on his face, "I bet it was because of-"

He was cut off when a frowning Chef Hatchet kicked him in the back, sending him flying out the open door.

xxx

The new Aftermath logo appeared again, its gleam taking over the screen again to transition to the next clip.

xxx

Lightning glared at Ezekiel for a second, then turned sharply on his heel and crossed his arms. "Fine! Lightning was too good for this show anyway!" He walked towards the host, snatched the parachute pack that was silently offered to him, and kept moving with his eyes shut uncaringly.

"Later, dude," Chris told the overachiever. "And watch out, that first step's a _big one_."

"Sha- _duh_ ," Lightning said, opening his eyes to glare back at the host. "Lightning knows-"

The overachiever suddenly dropped off the screen, and the camera pulled back to show that he'd walked right out the open door without realizing it. He could be heard screaming "THAAAAAATT!" as he fell through the air outside, Chris leaning out the door to watch with mild interest.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The new intro sequence played again, with the words 'TOTAL DRAMA WORLD TOUR AFTERMATH' flashing into position on-screen to that same electric theme. An unseen audience went wild as the music neared its end, and the scene flashed to the Aftermath studio, nearly unchanged since last season save for a few barely-visible repairs to the right wall and ceiling.

Two figures sat on the central couch, and surprisingly they were both blonde-haired white women: on the left was the familiar form of Dakota Milton, heiress and Daddy's girl; on the right was a relative newcomer sitting prim and cool in a low-cut red dress.

Further right was the Peanut Gallery, currently staffed by six former contestants. In the bottom row, from left to right, sat Sam, as chubby and scruffy as ever but now looking distinctly annoyed; handsome Topher with a wide grin pointed directly at the camera; and Amy looking rather haughty. The top row, also left to right, held Beth, still quite dorky but with a slight hint of class; B's distinct coolness; and Jo, arms crossed and smirking happily at the camera.

"Who's ready for some _totally_ dramatic aftermath?" Dakota opened giddily as the camera slowly focused in on her and her new cohost. "I'm Dakota," she greeted with a giggle.

"And I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran," the other woman added. "I'm sure you recognize me from such entertaining programs as Celebrity Manhunt!"

"But today we're here to talk about Total Drama World Tour!" Dakota said, prompting another loud cheer from their audience.

"We've got the _juiciest_ dirt," Blaineley said, "and the dirtiest juice! Everything you've _ever_ wanted to hear dished about season three."

"Plus we've got some special guests," Dakota added, "and some surprises you guys are gonna _love_! But first, let's introduce my friends." She motioned towards the Peanut Gallery, but the camera stopped on her cohost.

"You mean the _other_ sad bystanders," Blaineley said, "who can't even play this season?"

"Well that's _rude_ ," Dakota said with a frown as a few audience members laughed. She put her smile back on, and motioned once more to the side as a low drumming tune began to play. "Please welcome the Total Drama Peanut Gallery, Sam," a round of applause went up as the camera cut to a close-up of the gamer who smiled and waved; "Topher," the pretty boy shot a finger pistol at the camera; "Amy," the mean girl flipped her hair a little and smirked; "Jo," the jock-ette gave a curt but good-natured wave; "B," the silent boy smirked and nodded to the camera; "and Beth!" the wannabe-turned-model smiled and waved.

"So, how does everybody feel about the fact that you're the only ones that _didn't_ get to compete this season?" Blaineley asked. "Must be pretty _harsh_ knowing that you weren't chosen."

"Why are you acting like we got snubbed on _purpose_?" Sam said. "We lined up against a wall and got shot at random," he explained, "it isn't anybody's fault that we're not competing. Though I wish I could say the same thing about _me_ not getting my _job_ back." He glared at Blaineley, who in turn shot an awkward look at the camera as it zoomed out and the audience 'oooh'ed.

"No idea what you're talking about, Sam," Blaineley said, quickly returning to her normal demeanor. "How about the rest of you?"

"Being on that show was _not_ what I needed for my career," Topher admitted.

"And it's not like _I_ need _another_ million dollars," Jo added cockily.

"But what about the free trip around the world?" Blaineley asked.

"With Chris and Chef _torturing_ us?" Beth responded. "No thank you!"

"But what about watching _all_ your old friends hang out without you?" the hostess followed up.

"Please, who'd _want_ to hang out with those losers?" Amy scoffed.

"Guess they're just being honest," Blaineley told Dakota. "But what about you? Any regrets?"

An inquisitive melody started to play as the shot cut in close to the heiress' face as she was momentarily taken off-guard. "Umm, like, _no_! One season of that was more than enough, and now I get to host the Aftermath show in front of all my fans!" She turned and blew a kiss to the audience, who went wild again.

"Care to prove it with a game of ' _Truth_ or _Hammer_ '?" Blaineley asked, impishly waggling an eyebrow at the camera.

The same grand tune that had been used last season played over the traditional shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice; and another round of muted cheering could be heard when the original wooden mallet swung down and destroyed the statue.

"Ummm...okay, I'd be happy to!" Dakota declared hesitantly, the music spiking dramatically as the titular hammer swung down at her from above; she narrowly ducked under it with a hurried yelp.

"Nice moves, Dakota," Blaineley said with a light chuckle. "But I've caught wind of something that suggests you really _do_ wish you had another chance at the game." A few audience members gasped.

"As if," Dakota said haughtily. "All that pain and humiliation, and only for a _single_ million? That's, like, _nothing_ to me!"

A few ominous chanted notes sounded as a safe, an anvil, and a baby grand piano fell in quick succession; Dakota barely dodged them all, and ducked behind the guests' couches for cover. "Hey, watch it!" She said in outrage, sticking her head up once the dust had settled. "This game is _over_! Time to move on to an _actual_ segment, okay?"

She walked back towards the center couch, casting a wary look at the large hole that had been made in the hardwood floor. "We'll be spending time with _everyone_ who's left the show since the season began," she said, resuming her cheerful tone.

"Everyone we could _find_ at least," Blaineley clarified with a light chuckle, "because _two_ ex-contestants have gone 'AWOL'. Which leads us to our new segment, as designed by _moi_!" She gestured proudly to herself.

The scene cut to a largely black screen, two familiar silhouettes frozen into a running pose under a lone spotlight. "Total! Drama!" Dakota began to say as the crowd began to cheer. " _Fugitives_!" In one fluid motion a large cage slammed down over the two silhouettes, which stopped running and were revealed to be Dawn and Staci. A light and mysterious tune began to play in the background.

"After having some kinda of _mysterious vision_ ," Dakota said over muted footage of Dawn's fretful sleep in the Amazon and her later confessional as displayed on a wide-screen TV that had been lowered in front of the host couch, "Dawn became the first contestant in Total Drama history to _quit_."

"I'm not surprised," Amy said. "She's such a _freak_ that you could expect her to do anything!"

"But what's _weird_ is," Blaineley continued, ignoring the cheerleader, as a darkened silhouette of the mystic's head stamped with a white question mark slid into view on the screen behind her, "Dawn didn't come home!"

"She was last seen in the ruined, umm, _ruins_ , of Machu Picchu," Dakota told the camera. "But since then, _nothing_. She's, like, totally _disappeared_!"

"So we spread the word and our viewers responded like never before," Blaineley said confidently, "with some seriously _incredible_ sightings and photos."

"Let's take a look at a photo taken by Juan Carlos Ramirez of Florencia, Colombia," Dakota said.

The audience gasped as a still and grainy image of a roughly Dawn-shaped figure swinging by a vine in the distance; her face was obscured by a passing macaw. "Real sighting?" Blaineley asked as the photo lingered on screen. "Or fake?"

"That is _such_ a f-," Dakota tried to say, only to have her lips pinched shut by her cohost.

"We sent a roving reporter to interview our eyewitness," Blaineley said, quickly looking back over her shoulder to holler "Roll it!" before smiling for the camera again.

xxx

The footage cut in to Topher standing with a middle-aged latino man wearing a checkered shirt and a straw hat in front of a patch of jungle.

"So, Señor Ramirez, tell us what you saw," Topher said amicably before moving his microphone towards the other man.

Juan Carlos immediately launched into a low, rapid, and matter-of-fact explanation in nearly indecipherable Spanish. He punctuated it with several hand gestures, pointing first into the forest, then back over his shoulder, then back at the forest again.

"Uh, c-could you slow down a bit?" Topher said, trying to disguise how lost he was looking. "I can't make out what you're saying."

In response the man gave a deep and disgruntled sigh, then turned and walked away leaving Topher to stare helplessly at the camera.

xxx

"Like I said," Dakota said as the feed cut back to the studio, "that sighting was _totally_ a fake."

"Fine," Blaineley told her, " _don't_ believe. But just _yesterday_ we had another sighting from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil!" She smiled at the camera, and another video clip promptly began.

xxx

The scene was set at Cristo Redentor, the famous statue that overlooked the city. It looked to be just about daybreak, and there was a light fog in the area.

"Olha! Olha!" a masculine voice called from off-camera as a brown-skinned arm pointed up at the statue. The camera zoomed in on it shakily, showing what looked like a small figure with long, pale hair sitting in lotus position with its back to the camera on one of the statue's outstretched hands.

The fog moved in front of the figure for a brief second, but when it parted a loud gasp was heard – the figure was nowhere to be seen.

xxx

"What about that one?" Blaineley asked as the camera moved away from a close-up of the figure on the TV screen, which despite the low resolution did look an awful lot like Dawn. "Real? Fake?"

"Ooh, tough to say," Dakota said with her face scrunched up in thought. "We didn't get _that_ good of a look at... _whatever_ that was before it disappeared."

"But who else but _Dawn_ could disappear like that?" Blaineley asked. "It would be hard to fake _that_!"

"But the big question remains," Dakota told the camera with a knowing look, "just _where_ is Dawn _now_?"

"Nobody can find her!" Blaineley said. "Not even everyone's fave host, Chris McLean."

"Chris is looking for Dawn?" Beth asked from the Peanut Gallery.

"Chris has the entire Total Drama _machine_ looking for Dawn!" Blaineley said.

xxx

A few sharp notes played as the scene cut to a massive and blocky robot walked through a suburban neighborhood, repeating "Dawn!" in a computerized voice. The camera cut inside a bedroom where a white woman was sleeping soundly. The massive robot's bulbous yellow-and-red eye appeared outside her window, its pupil contracted, and with a shake broke through the ceiling. The woman woke up and screamed in terror as she saw the robot's clawed hand approaching her.

xxx

"So keep those Dawn sightings coming," Blaineley told the audience. "She can't hide from us forever!"

" _Also_ acting camera-shy," Dakota said with a clear image of Staci on the wide-screen television behind her, "everyone's _favorite_ chatterbox!" The audience cheered as the camera pulled back from the hosts.

"Camera-shy? _So_ not cool, Staci!" Blaineley told the picture above her.

"Please, like _anything_ about Staci could ever be _cool_ ," Amy chimed in.

"Oh, I don't know about _that_ ," Dakota said. "This _is_ kinda cool."

"That's right," Blaineley said. "Just like Dawn, Staci up and _vanished_ after leaving the Total Drama Jet in Egypt."

"She mentioned something about visiting her relatives," Dakota added as muted footage of the compulsive liar's Drop of Shame played behind her, "but with all the stuff she's made up, nobody knows which ones are even _real_!"

"So true," Blaineley said with a sage nod. "Luckily, the Total Drama fans answered the call and produced the following two sightings. Let's watch." She motioned to the screen as it cut to static and overtook the entire scene.

xxx

"Our first clip was taken in the outskirts of Damascus, Syria," Blaineley said as the clip began, showing a cloaked figure walking along a desolate road at night. It was clearly taken from inside a car, and showed a large truck pull up next to the cloaked figure.

"Ehh, you want ride?" a masculine voice asked in broken English.

"Yah, that would be great, thanks" the cloaked figure said in a familiar voice. She stepped into the truck, which promptly sped off.

xxx

"Well, that _definitely_ sounded like Staci," Dakota said skeptically as the scene cut back to her and Blaineley with their necks craned up to watch the video.

"I know, right?" the older blonde said. "But that's not all, look!"

xxx

The next clip was taken from what seemed like a boat on a body of water; the camera was trained on a suspension bridge in the distance and zoomed in when another large truck, distinctly different from the one in the previous clip suddenly stopped. A large pinkish object was thrown off the bridge from it, and fell into the water below.

xxx

" _That_ was taken from a freighter in Istanbul, by the way," Blaineley said as the static cut back to the studio. "What do you think," she added as still images of both the cloaked figure and the falling pink blur appeared in a split-screen behind her, "real or _fake_?"

"Ehh, I'm not convinced," Jo said from the Peanut Gallery with a thoughtful look at the screen. "Don't know why anyone would wanna fake being _her_ though."

"Good point," Blaineley said. "But as great as this manhunt has been, I think it's time we moved on."

"Time to spend time with today's Aftermath guest, _Beardo_!" Dakota finished, earning another round of applause from the crowd.

"Sad to see him come back on the show so soon," Blaineley commented.

"Like you were even _here_ last time," Sam said, earning a quick glare from the older hostess.

The crowd 'ooh'ed, and the camera quickly cut to Dakota. "Umm, anyway, what happened to Beardo was _such_ a tragedy, am I right?" the younger woman asked the audience, earning a smattering of light applause. "I totally didn't see Scott and Sugar's alliance coming, like, at _all_."

"Neither did anybody!" Blaineley said with a small chuckle. "That's why they were able to trick Team Chris into voting off Beardo. Which is such a shame, he's so talented!"

"Please welcome our beatboxing legend, Beardo!" Dakota said to an energetic theme as the audience applauded. She motioned stage right and the camera followed, catching Beardo as he strutted out on stage and waved at the crowd.

"Yo yo yooo~," he said as he paused on-stage. "Beardo is _back_ in Toronto~!" The crowd went even wilder, and the hairy boy walked over to the couches with a confident smirk.

"Welcome back to the show!" Dakota greeted, standing up to exchange a hug with the hairy boy. "Shame about what happened, though."

"Don't I know it," Beardo told her amicably as he sat down on the guest couch, earning a laugh from the audience.

"Well then Beardo, it's time to look at your _journey_ video," Blaineley spoke up. "All the dramatic events that brought you to this moment." She looked up at the widescreen, which promptly cut to static.

xxx

An elevator music-like tune played over the montage, which began with a short clip of Beardo looking up at the jumbo jet and saying "Dang!" in a drawn-out manner.

The second short clip showed him running in fear through an Egyptian pyramid with Sierra, while the third was just him wiping the sweat from his brow as he trudged through the desert while making a sizzling sound.

Fourth was him sliding smoothly across the frigid Yukon landscape on his feet, giving the camera a finger pistol and saying "Cool," as he passed by. Fifth was him holding a camcorder and giving a thumbs-up to someone off-screen and saying "Perfect!"

The sixth and final was of him falling through the sky, hollering "Not again!" until he pulled the cord on his pack and the parachute deployed.

xxx

The crowd applauded as the widescreen cut back to static and the camera moved back to the hosts and guest.

"Whoa, hold up," Beardo said with wide eyes, following it up with the sound of a video being paused and then rewound. "I've been on this show for _three_ seasons, and all I get is like six _seconds_?" He made the sound of something sizzling, then exploding. "You didn't even show off any of my best moments! What kinda highlight video is _that_."

"Well then Beardo, have we got some highlights for you!" Blaineley told him impishly before the scene cut to static again.

xxx

The first highlight started with a close-up of Beardo lying in a bunkbed, wide awake. Based on the light coming in from the far window it was morning, and the hairy boy promptly signaled it by performing a very good rendition of 'Reveille' on imitated bugle. The camera zoomed out and panned slightly to the left to show DJ, Alejandro, and Topher all glaring at him with their hands covering their ears, and Topher threw a pillow at the beatboxer in annoyance causing the studio audience to laugh a little.

Static cut to the next highlight, which showed Beardo lounging against a tree in some wooded area with Beth sitting nearby. He put his hands to his mouth and made a loud moose call that made Beth giggle, then gasp in fear when a grizzly bear stood up out of some bushes behind them and growled. Moments later, it bellowed in fear of its own as a bull moose charged into the scene, chasing the bear and two humans out of sight. Another bout of laughter was heard from off-screen.

More static, and the third highlight – this time he was standing in a film studio loitering around while a pair of familiar-looking crewmembers carried a large stage light together. Donning an impish smirk, the camera zoomed in as he put his hand to his mouth and made the sound of a door slamming open, a few sharp footsteps, and then suddenly the sound of a flurry of gunfire. He stopped when he heard a crash, and the camera zoomed back out to show that the two crewmen had dropped the light in panic, and were now glaring back at Beardo and punching their fists. The audience laughed yet again.

The fourth and final highlight was the longest, and it took place in the economy class compartment of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet, the darkness outside the windows suggesting it was night. A lilting tune played as the camera panned across the sleeping forms of Team Victory, then Team Chris. Once more the shot focused in on the beatboxer as he snored...or started to snore, anyway. Instead of the standard noises, the slumbering soundboard produced the sound of a plane engine sputtering and stalling. It was enough to wake a few of the others up, but they soon fell back to sleep as Beardo's sounds temporarily ceased. Seconds later he made the sound of a plane experience some awful turbulence which caused those around him to clench their eyes shut and cover their ears in irritation, only to be startled fully awake when Beardo suddenly launched into a full-scale warning siren amidst the continued rumblings.

He was still asleep even when he suddenly stopped a moment later, and as such did not notice the glares he was getting from the rest of the compartment. Nor did he notice Scott grin and shove what looked like a ball of sweatsocks into his mouth.

xxx

"Huh, so that's why I had that taste in my mouth," Beardo said idly as the shot cut back to the studio, the audience laughing yet again.

"Aren't you embarrassed that we showed the world the less flattering side of your skills?" Blaineley asked in slight confusion.

"Not really," Beardo answered with a shrug. "I mean, at least you showed off my _range_ pretty well. Besides, I know I can be bothersome sometimes. It's a curse that comes with skills as sick as mine." A few cheers came from the audience.

"Hey," Blaineley said, quickly moving on as a fast-paced techno tune played, "it's time for Beardo to sing!"

"Wow, I didn't think you'd do that to him _now_ ," Topher spoke up.

"A reunion of your band 'Drama to Drama'?" Blaineley replied. "Right here on the Aftermath? Great idea Topher!"

"Haha, sure was!" the handsome boy laughed with a nervous look around the room.

"Umm, I know you're a huge fan," Dakota told her cohost, "but this might be a _little_ over the-"

"Nah, it's cool," Beardo interrupted. "I don't mind the back-up. But what about Alejandro? He's part of the band too."

"Already covered," Blaineley smiled.

Beardo nodded and cleared his throat. "Right. This one's goin' out to Scott and Sugar, so get ready 'cause it's gonna be _wild_."

~/~

" _Not gonna lie, ya beat me;"_

[Beardo opened in a close-up of his head, facing to the left against a purplish background. No music had begun yet.]

" _Ya covered my eyes to cheat me;"_

[The first close-up froze in place and was relocated to the left side of a mirrored split-screen, the beatboxer singing his next line on the right side, the close-up now against a teal background.]

" _Out of that million dollar prize..."_

[The first two close-ups looked down as the screen was split again and a head-on shot of the beatboxer against a pinkish background covered the bottom half.]

[A keyboard began to play slowly with a tambourine accompanying it, then Dakota and Blaineley were shown sharing a look.]

" _But though that alliance of yours seems strong,"_

[Beardo continued, rising from his seat on the guest couch.]

" _I know that your plan for winnin's wrong,"_

[A spotlight was shown on him as he began to walk towards stage right; he paused by a few trunks by a wooden divider.]

" _'Cause it's built on fragile lies..."_

[He paused, then walked behind the divider.]

" _And it'll all...fall down!"_

[The first phrase was sung while he was still hidden from view and the music began to pick up, even adding an electric guitar to the mix. The second phrase came as he stepped out from behind the divider, revealing a new outfit – massive bush of hair tied back; shades; an unzipped black hoodie; and a thin gold necklace with a rainbow-colored pendant.]

" _Oh yeah!"_

[Topher added as the shot abruptly cut to the rest of the band – B on the left playing his keyboard, having only added shades to his normal attire; Topher in the center with the tambourine, also wearing shades in addition to a sleek khaki-colored shirt and expensive-looking blue jeans; to the right on the guitar was, surprisingly, Sasquatchanakwa who was wearing a knit cap and gold chain in addition to his shades. Behind them was a backdrop depicting the two who'd earned Beardo's ire, grinning evilly and separated by a jagged split that left Scott on the left and Sugar on the right.]

" _You think you all are gonna dominate, and facilitate, the eliminates,"_

[Beardo rapped, sliding into view in front of his bandmates and casting the backdrop a harsh glare.]

" _But Beardo's here to tell ya that you aren't so great, and your downfall's comin' soon."_

[He looked back at the camera as it focused in on him and B, who smirked at the camera, then panned slightly to show Topher grinning.]

" _Oh yeah!"_

[Topher repeated as the shot briefly cut to the Peanut Gallery where Beth was brimming with excitement, Jo was tapping her foot to the beat, Sam was watching happily, and Amy was trying to hide her interest.]

" _'Cause Bridgette, DJ, Sierra, and Shawn,"_

[Beardo continued as the camera cut back to him. He raised a finger for each name he called out, and with each one a corresponding picture appeared in one quarter of the screen behind him – the surfer in the upper left against a green background; the brickhouse in the upper-right against light blue; the super fan in the lower-right against red; and the survivalist in the lower-left against light brown.]

" _Are still in the game and it's gonna dawn,"_

[Beardo suddenly faded as the split-screen of his former teammates took over the scene, then suddenly split to show Scott and Sugar standing confidently in the cross of white left between the four.]

" _On them – that you two are just up to no good;"_

[The portraits of Team Chris turned as one to glare at Scott and Sugar, who flinched in fear.]

" _And they'll beat your butts just like they should."_

[The four angered portraits pulled back slightly, then slammed into Scott and Sugar creating a swirling cloud of green, blue, red, and brown.]

" _Yeah!"_

[The cloud immediately faded back to a shot of the full band standing against the unchanged backdrop as Topher chimed in again.]

" _And did ya forget that Al's there too?"_

[Beardo continued, pointing above him as a close-up of Alejandro smiling nefariously took over the top third of the screen.]

" _You think he's not gonna notice you? Please."_

[The picture of Alejandro donned a knowing smirk and wagged a finger.]

" _His eyes might be on that singer girl,"_

[Beardo pointed downwards as a picture of Ella smiling at a bird that had landed on her finger slid into the bottom third of the scene, surprising the picture of Alejandro.]

" _But his mind is on that million, girl,"_

[With a swipe of his hand Beardo sent the picture of Ella sliding off to the right, getting replaced by a close-up of a glistening stack of cash that made the picture of Alejandro smile greedily.]

" _And Sugar? He ain't gonna like you steppin' on his turf."_

[Another swipe from Beardo, and the bottom third was replaced yet again – this time by an image of Sugar which gulped nervously when she looked up at saw Alejandro grinning deviously down at her.]

" _And we all know that Scarlett's worse."_

[Beardo pushed the two images away as he leaned forward and gave the camera a knowing look.]

" _Yeah!"_

[Topher added again, the shot briefly zooming out before cutting back in to Beardo as he began to beatbox freestyle. This continued for a several seconds, during which the Peanut Gallery was shown getting even more into it; Beth even got stood up and started cheering along with the crowd.]

"Umm, this might be getting a little _too_ wild..." Dakota said with a nervous glance aside.

"Yeah! We love you, Drama to Drama!" Blaineley suddenly jumped up and cheered, startling her cohost. The older woman screamed, then fainted flat on her back between the couch and table with her legs sticking up in the air.

"No doubt," Beardo said with a cool nod to the hostess as he slid into view again.

" _So Scott and Sugar, tell me again,"_

[Beardo started rapping once more.]

" _Exactly how you're gonna own this game, and when?"_

[The camera rotated as Beardo took a sliding step away from the hosts, putting himself back in front of his bandmates,]

" _'Cause the way I see it y'all got no time to harm,"_

[He said, leaning towards the camera for emphasis.]

" _Before your last day comes and then it's back. To. The farm."_

[He finished by busting a few moves, then once the music had finished as well he stood up straight and dropped his mic.]

~/~

"Can I regain control of this _totally_ messed up situation?" Dakota asked the camera over the roar of the crowd and the beginning of the Aftermath theme, pointing a thumb to her fallen cohost. "Stay tuned, and see if we'll even be _back_ with more Total Drama: The Aftemath." She winked at the camera, and the scene cut to the show's new logo as its gleam took over the scene.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The Aftermath theme played again and the audience cheered as the show's logo re-appeared, then flashed back to the studio.

"Hi everyone!" Blaineley greeted, holding an ice pack to the top of her head and looking generally disheveled. "And welcome back to the Total Drama Aftermath!"

Dakota giggled as the camera pulled back to include her in the shot. "Yeah, the aftermath of _you_ losing it over a _boyband_ ," she said to a few chuckles from the audience.

"I was demonstrating enthusiasm," Blaineley said, "it's part of my job." A snazzy beat played as the camera focused on her. "As we've just proved, Total Drama is the _most_ dramatic show in the history of drama!"

"And _Blaineley_ proved that she's not as cool as she wants you to _think_ ," Dakota smirked.

"In entertainment news," the older woman continued in annoyance, "Drama to Drama has just caused a minor riot here!"

"They were last seen on foot," Dakota told the audience with the air of someone sharing some juicy gossip, "running for their _lives_ from a..." she paused to put her hand to her ear, then furrowed her brow and said "a yellow _school bus_? Seriously?"

"Let's go to the scene and see what we can find out!" Blaineley suggested excitedly.

xxx

The scene cut to what looked like a backstage hallway where an old man was mopping the floor and what was clearly Topher in a dime-store disguise stood by with a microphone in hand.

"Tell us what you saw, _roaming reporter_ ," Blaineley said from off-screen.

"Well Blaineley," Topher said in a deepened voice from behind his fake nose, beard, and mustache, "the incredibly handsome and amazingly talented rock legend Topher of Drama to Drama just ran past here with his two bandmates, barely escaping the _horde_ of girls chasing them."

"And what did these girls look like?" Blaineley asked.

"Young and wearing plaid kilts, Blaineley," Topher answered. "If I had to guess, I'd say they were _students_ at a private girl's school."

"Interesting," the hostess said. "Anything else to share?"

"Yeah, they-" Topher began to say, but was cut off when Beardo and B, still in the outfits they had worn for their performance, peered out of the star-bearing door to the right.

"Yo Toph," Beardo asked, "is it safe to come out yet? Those girls gone yet?"

A sudden resurgence of screaming and a horde of footsteps got their attention as the camera pulled back and began to shake. "They _were_!" Topher said in his normal voice, taking off running with his bandmates – as well as the startled janitor.

xxx

/

"Ooh, looks like the boys are in trouble again," Dakota said with a light giggle. "They'd better hope those _fans_ of theirs don't catch up with them."

"Hmmph," Blaineley replied, rolling her eyes. "How about we move on to our next guest," she asked both the camera and her cohost, "unless _you'd_ like to answer a few questions?" She smiled impishly at the younger girl.

" _Actually_ ," Dakota said with a look of annoyance, "I was thinking it was time for everyone's favorite montage of pain, 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark'!" She spread her arms wide as the audience cheered and her cohost huffed again, and the scene cut to static once more.

xxx

The segment's familiar tune began to play as the first clip started, depicting Alejandro and Ella running through the Amazonian rain forest together. The charmer paused to move was appeared to be a thick vine out of the way for his teammate, who blushed and smiled at his thoughtfulness as she walked past. But as soon as Alejandro tried to walk forward too, the vine revealed itself to be a large constrictor snake that immediately coiled around the handsome boy and squeezed him tightly enough to earn a laugh from the audience.

Static cut to the second clip, which began with DJ calmly walking towards the bathroom on the plane. When he opened the door, however, a baby panda leaped out and began to maul him. The crowd laughed over his shrieks of pain.

The third clip was set in the Yukon, where Tyler was standing on an ice floe on the half-frozen river. He flailed his legs as he slipped and fell face-first on the ice, then as he stood back up Lightning came out of nowhere from behind him, his eyes shut confidently as he jumped onto the ice...then promptly tripped over Tyler and fell into the frigid water. The audience laughed yet again as the camera panned over to a polar bear and its cub watching nearby; the adult covered the cub's eyes.

xxx

The scene cut back to Dakota giggling in the studio while Blaineley looked at her with a mixture of boredom and annoyance. "Like I said earlier, I _so_ wouldn't wanna be back on the show right now," Dakota said.

"I doubt that," Blaineley told her. "I have it on good authority that you're lying."

"Well I'm not," Dakota said with a sterner and forced giggle. "Why would I be? Instead of being out _there_ getting eaten or attacked or _frozen_ or whatever, I get to be here! Staying _perfectly_ adorable and chatting with all of you." She winked at the audience, who cheered again.

"Really? Chatting?" Blaineley asked. "Because if you ask me, you haven't been chatting _enough_."

"Hold on, we're not done with 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark' yet!" Dakota countered with a pout.

"Really?" her cohost asked skeptically. "There's only room for so many clips in each segment, you know."

"Well duh," Dakota said with a dismissive handwave, "obviously. But I just have one left over, and it's a good one." Blaineley crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "I call it, 'Dakota's Mark to Remember'!" the younger woman told the audience as a rocking tune played. "Who's interested?" she asked, receiving cheers in reply as the camera pulled back. Blaineley groaned and put a hand on her forehead, and the widescreen above them cut from the Aftermath logo to static.

xxx

Surprisingly eerie music began along with the clip, which seemed to be located in some secluded corner of the cargo hold. The camera panned across a very complicated looking device consisting of countless different objects taped and tied together that was partially suspended from the ceiling, ultimately leading to an eager-looking Scarlett fiddling with a safe tied to a rope and perched precariously on top of a box.

"That just about does it," she told herself, stepping down from the small stepladder she'd been using and walking over to what appeared to be the blueprints for the device that she'd laid out near a red 'x' on the floor. "With this, I'll _finally_ be free of this accursed collar and will be able to leave this show for good. I just need to double check that everything is positioned exactly according to my calculations, and-"

A bit of turbulence just then shook the room, Scarlett and her device along with it.. "No!" she gasped as the music became tenser, and the safe she'd been adjusting was shown falling off its box and swinging towards her. She gasped again, but couldn't get out of the way before she was struck in the back by the swinging safe – the audience laughed as she fell on the ground, twitching in pain.

The plane shook again, and Scarlett groaned in anticipation just as the rest of her cobbled-together machine came falling apart and landed on her in a heap. The audience laughed again, and the camera focused on her hand as she stuck it out and started to dig herself out.

She was then promptly electrocuted, and the camera quick-panned over to Chris McLean, shaking his head in disapproval and holding his remote control. A triangular green icon appeared in the corner of the screen, which changed to a pair of bars as the video was paused. It was then rewound back to the close-up shot of Scarlett trying to remove the things she'd been buried in.

"Look at her," Dakota said as a red circle was drawn around the brainiac's hopeful face, "she _so_ doesn't know what's coming. And then...," the clip was unpaused and Scarlett was shown getting shocked again, " _zap_!"

xxx

The scene cut back to the studio as the audience laughed, the camera focusing on Dakota as she leaned over the console on the table in front of her with a stylus in her hand. "Serves her right for trying to wreck the studio last season, am I right?"

She looked up at the camera, but before anyone could react Blaineley leaned over and snatched the stylus away. "Umm, _rude_!" Dakota said.

"Yeah, I think it's time we finally moved on," the older woman said.

"Fine," Dakota pouted. "I guess we shouldn't keep you all waiting for our _second_ guest any longer."

Blaineley sighed. "Fine, but at least _this_ one should prove interesting." She turned her attention to the audience as a trendy tune began to play. "Our next guest is the super-talented super-jock known for dominating just about everything _except_ Total Drama. Fresh off his quickest loss yet, you know him and love him, Lightning!" The crowd applauded as Blaineley put her hands in the air and a smiling Dakota directed the cameras to the backstage entrance.

Nobody came on-stage.

Blaineley grunted angrily. "Put the backstage feed on the screen!" she demanded to someone off-camera. "And get my agent on the phone!"

/

The camera quick-panned to the backstage hallway where Sam was standing outside the star-marked door. "Dude, Lightning, what's going on?" the gamer asked through the closed door. "I thought you'd be all _over_ this interview after not getting one last season."

"Are you sha- _kiddin_ ' me, did you _see_ the way Lightning just got introduced?" the voice of the overachiever came. "Lightning knows he's just gonna get made fun of, and that's _not_ the kind of interview he wants."

Sam sighed. "I won't lie, you're definitely right that they'll try to skewer you," he said. "And not much else, if that job-stealing _Blaineley_ gets her way," he shot a bitter look behind him. "But dude, if you just hold up in the green room they're gonna give it to you worse. Why not just come out now, and keep your dignity?"

"...you're probably right, dude," Lightning said, finally opening the door and stepping out with a sulking expression. "Lightning's just been feeling really weird about doin' this after gettin' booted out _third_. How can he face all his disappointed fans?"

The scene cut back to the stage where the backstage feed was being aired on the widescreen, and both Blaineley and the audience 'aww'ed.

"Let's bring him out," Blaineley said as the backstage feed faded to black. "It's _Lightning_!" The snazzy theme played again as the crowd cheered and the camera panned to the stage-right entrance, only for Sam to appear instead of the promised guest.

The cheers abruptly cut off, and Blaineley angrily said "I said _Lightning_!"

"Yeah, Lightning wants to sing," he told the older hostess in a no-nonsense manner.

"Oh, we'll make him _sing_ -" Blaineley began to say with a chuckle before the gamer cut her off.

"And not _your_ way, either," Sam said harshly. "Lightning is gonna sing his _own_ song on his _own_ terms, and that's final."

Blaineley looked like she was gonna say something angrily, but Dakota cut her off with an excited squeal. "Ooh, I _love_ it! Great call, Sam, I _totally_ approve!" The gamer crossed his arms and shot a mocking smirk at Blaineley, who huffed and looked away just before the studio lights dimmed.

~/~

[The audience cheered as a spotlight was placed on a grand piano, Sasquatchanakwa at the bench playing a slow R&B tune.]

" _Back again, on the Aftermath,"_

[Lightning began somberly as he walked out from backstage in a tuxedo, holding a microphone.]

" _And way too soon, for real,"_

[He walked over to the piano, and paused at its side.]

" _Last time in third, this time for laughs,"_

[He held up three fingers on his right, then swept the hand towards Blaineley who blinked in surprise.]

" _Tryin' to ruin my appeal."_

[He brought the hand back close to him, balling it into a fist and leaning dramatically over it with his eyes closed]

" _They wanna act that since I lost,"_

[He shook his head in disapproval.]

" _On three seasons of this show,"_

[He quickly switched the mic to his other hand, and held up three fingers on his left.]

" _That losin's all I'm ever gonna do..."_

[He raised his head and placed his free hand over his eyes, then smiled.]

" _But don't... they know...?"_

[He began to tap his foot and bobbing his head to the beat as it quickly picked up.]

" _That I'm Lightning! Sha-pow!"_

[The main instrument rapidly switched from piano to a lighter and more synthetic keyboard sound as the lights were turned up again, Lightning slid forward on his knees, and tore off the top half of his tuxedo to reveal what looked like a higher-quality version of the jersey he usually wore, the golden '1' gleaming in the light. As he made his sha-declaration, lightning actually struck the stage on either side of him, surprising the hostesses.]

" _Magnificent, and so diligent!"_

[Lightning stood up, and Sasquatchanakwa slid forward on his own knees behind the athlete, now playing the keytar.]

" _Yeah, Lightning! Sha-bam!"_

[He pointed at the camera, then dropped down on one knee to flex his arms as lightning struck the stage once again.]

" _Not gonna lose it today!"_

[The camera cut to the two women on the center couch, Dakota smiling in excitement and Blaineley looking somewhat lost.]

" _You think that Lightning's down-and-out? Sha-you ain't seen a thing;"_

[Lightning popped up to Blaineley's left, startling her as he sang in her face.]

" _So what if I got voted out? That isn't all I bring!"_

[Lightning turned his back on her and walked away, the camera following him as he made his way closer to the Peanut Gallery.]

" _These muscles!"_

[He flexed his biceps again and kissed one, prompting Beth to say "Ooh!"]

" _This game!"_

[He hopped to the side and crouched down into a runner's starting position, prompting Amy who was behind him with her gaze locked firmly on his rear end to utter "Ohh...!"]

" _Just think about it, it's still the same!"_

[He suddenly darted into a forward somersault towards center stage, singing the next line as he came up back on his feet.]

" _Ain't gonna fade away so soon, so let me hear my name!"_

[He waggled his finger at the audience, then put his hand to his ear and leaned towards them.]

" _Uh-huh it's Lightning! Sha-zam!"_

[He jerked a thumb towards himself with a cocky smirk. Lightning bolts struck for a third time, no longer phasing Dakota but forcing Blaineley to dodge out of the way.]

" _So glo-ri-ous and so gor-ge-ous,"_

[He struck a pose with his left arm outstretched and his right arm drawn back, then spun around and motioned over his general physique.]

" _Just Lightning! Sha-wow!"_

[Blaineley was shown tiptoeing back to her seat, then glaring sternly when she saw Sam had taken it. The gamer grinned sheepishly, then stepped away as lightning struck in front of the camera.]

" _Nobody can take that away."_

[The brief flash receded to show the shot focused back on the star athlete, who shook his head and waggled a finger again.]

" _Not hostess girl, in her messed-up world;"_

[The camera rotated slightly to show Blaineley behind Lightning, freezing in place when she saw his pointing a thumb at her.]

" _And Amy, babe, you're old news!"_

[The viewpoint rotated again, now showing the cheerleader crossing her arms and looking away as her ex-boyfriend turned to look at her.]

" _The world ahead is in my hands, and my destiny I'll choose!"_

[The shot suddenly cut above him as he raised his free right hand high, grasped at something, then pulled the hand back close to his body with a serious expression.]

" _Won't even stop if I lose!"_

[He added with an optimistic smile.]

[The music suddenly stopped, and Lightning's expression became serious again.]

"And for real, don't get used to what happened to me on Total Drama, 'cause, that was an _exception_ to my general awesomeness," he said matter-of-factly.

[The music started up again, and Lightning smiled and bobbed his head to the beat a few times before resuming his song.]

" _'Cause I'm Lightning! Sha-woo!"_

[He sang, tapping his foot and ignoring the bolts that struck down on either side of him.]

" _Resilient, 'cause I'm brilliant;"_

[He pointed straight at the camera, then at the side of his head.]

" _Sha-Lightning! Sha-yeah!"_

[He struck his signature bicep-flexing pose, but no lightning struck this time.]

" _And I'll never forget how to play!"_

[He put his hand on his hips and stood proudly and confidently, and was promptly struck by lightning as the music came to its final beat.]

~/~

The crowd gasped, then cheered and applauded as the smoke began to clear. The camera cut in close to Lightning as he coughed, then smiled and turned around. "Well then, I guess it's time for my interview!" he told them.

Dakota gasped, and Blaineley's eyebrows shot up.

"What?" Lightning asked in confusion, the shot still in a close-up of his face. "Somethin' happen?"

"Umm, _yes_ ," Dakota said, handing the athlete a compact.

Lightning caught the compact, then looked in its mirror and whistled in admiration. "Sha- _dang_ ," he said as the camera finally zoomed out to show his hair – and the lightning bolt-shaped streak of white that had appeared in it. "That's pretty sweet!"

He snapped the compact closed, tossed it back to Dakota, then took a seat on the guest couch. "Anyway, let's get this sha-over with," he told the two hostesses.

"But first," Blaineley told the camera with a wide smile, "let's watch Lightning's _video montage_ , specially edited by me!" She motioned to herself proudly, then the shot cut to the widescreen as it switched to static and then to the series of clips.

xxx

The montage was set to the same tune used for 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark', and began with Lightning sliding out of the woods with a few bits of leaves and twigs in his clothes, and getting greeted by the glares of his Killer Bass teammates. The second clip showed him getting dragged down the Dock of Shame by Chef Hatchet, the uber-jock looking angry and sullen.

Next was him uselessly flinging flower pots of water over his shoulder on the beach, which was followed by him walking away on the Dock of Shame once more, this time away from the first season's Final Four.

After that was him racing Scarlett while getting mauled by a stray cat, then getting escorted down the Walk of Shame by Chef Hatchet, then getting into the limousine of losers and speeding off.

The final pair of clips were the most recent, showing his decision to lead Team Victory down the right path in the Amazon, then walking blindly into the Drop of Shame the next day.

xxx

The crowd continued to laugh as the scene cut back to the studio, Blaineley smiling up at the widescreen while Dakota gave the annoyed-looking Lightning an uncertain look.

"What do you think?" Blaineley asked the guest. "I think it was a pretty accurate look at what you've accomplished on the show."

"Uhh, all _Lightning_ just saw was a montage of all the times he's gotten kicked off," the overachiever corrected. "Seems to Lightning like you're still just tryin' to make him seem like more of a loser than he really is."

"Huhuh, he's got you there," Sam laughed from the Peanut Gallery, causing Blaineley to roll her eyes in irritation and glare at Dakota when the younger girl giggled.

"Well, you have to admit that you're the only one in the show's history to get voted out _four_ times in _three_ seasons," Blaineley told the uber-jock.

"Oh, Lightning ain't denyin' it," Lightning replied, "but Lightning just thinks you shoulda showed all the times he was _cool_ , too. Give him a fair wrap, y'know?"

"That's not really how things work on this show," Blaineley told him bluntly.

Dakota interrupted with a giggle. "Well, to be fair, _I_ wouldn't mind showing off some your better moments," she told her guest, "but we should probably move on to the next segment."

"And _that_ means it's time for 'Truth or Tractor-Trailer'!" Blaineley announced excitedly, the camera zooming out to focus on a lime green tractor-trailer dangling precariously above Lightning's head.

"Sha-what?" the athlete muttered in shock as the truck made a braking sound.

"Umm, hello?" Dakota spoke up. "Main host here? I don't recall agreeing to _that_."

"That's because I convinced the producers to do it _myself_ ," Blaineley said.

"Yeah, just like you convinced them to give you my job...," Sam muttered bitterly.

"What was that?" the older woman asked sharply, prompting the gamer to avert his gaze. "That's what I _thought_...," Blaineley said as she turned her attention back to Lightning. "So as I was saying, Lightning, it's time for you to tell us what we wanna know. First question! Which member of Team Victory do you hate the _most_ right now?"

The shot pulled back again to show the swaying tractor-trailer, which Lightning was ignoring as he tapped his chin and thought. "Lightning ain't sure he can answer that," he finally said with a shrug. "He don't really hate _any_ of 'em. He ain't even mad!"

The audience gasped, but the tractor-trailer didn't fall.

"Really?' Blaineley said in disbelief. "Even after they voted you out of the game, you aren't even _mad_ at them? What happened to the Lightning who thought he was the best at everything and that his teammates were all just jealous?"

"Well, gettin' captured by a buncha _real_ Zing-Zings for, like, a day or somethin' gave Lightning time to reflect on why he got eliminated," the uber-jock explained. "Now, Lightning's always demanded that his teammates give him the respect he deserves. But Lightning's never been good at _returnin_ ' that respect, see? But after thinkin' about it, Lightning realized that even the people who ain't as strong or fast as him got _some_ stuff goin' for 'em! Take Tyler, for instance. Dude's got like no game whatsoever, but his super strong fingers saved our butts in the Yukon, and that dorky video idea he had won us the Japanese challenge! And while Ezekiel might _seem_ useless, he was helpin' Team Dude figure stuff out from the beginnin'! Lightning thinks that since he didn't recognize their talents, they decided to vote him out. And he really can't blame 'em for it, since he woulda done the same if they'd kept on disrespectin' him!"

"...Seriously?" Blaineley asked, still disbelieving.

"Wow, it's...actually pretty cool to hear you say that!" Dakota said much more happily, looking briefly towards the audience as they cheered and applauded. "I guess that even though you've lost, you still, like, _learned_ something from being on Total Drama."

"Yeah, Lightning guesses he did," the jock said with a thoughtful look. "Losin' so much has forced Lightning to accept the he is _not_ the unstoppable juggernaut he thought he was. And since some of the losses were _his_ fault, he can learn from his mistakes and, uh, grow as a _person_ and stuff."

"And what about your _other_ losses, hmm?" Blaineley asked dryly, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

"Oh, well, the first one was because Scott hit Lightning on the head when his back was turned," Lightning explained with a point to the back of his head, "and the one _last_ season was because of that dang _cat_ gettin' in Lightning's face. None of that was Lightning's fault."

"So, you think you'd have done better in those seasons without those things happening to you?" Blaineley asked hopefully.

"Well yeah," Lightning answered before becoming thoughtful again. "Well, uh, last season anyway. Lightning woulda won the whole _thing_ if it hadn't been for that cat. But instead, that cheater Scarlett got _lucky_."

" _Now_ we're getting somewhere," Blaineley said softly in a tone that caused Dakota to raise an eyebrow. "Ever since the end of Total Drama Action," she told the camera, "fans have been speculating about who _really_ would have won had it not been for Scarlett's cheating ways. And with the other two members of last season's Final Three here today," Jo was shown reacting with surprise as the audience cheered and a trendy beat started up, "I'm proud to finally give that question an answer in our biggest, baddest, _newest_ segment ever, Total Smackdown!"

"Whoa whoa whoa," Jo interrupted, causing the energetic background music to screech to a halt. "Don't drag _me_ into this, I already _won_ last season."

"What, afraid that Lightning will take the title _away_ from you?" Blaineley asked impishly.

"Hey, I can take Lightning on any time, any day," Jo shot back.

"Sha-as _if_ ," Lightning replied. "Lightning woulda beaten you no sweat if it hadn't been for Scarlett!"

"Oh yeah?" Jo said, standing up in her seat.

"Yeah!" Lightning responded, standing up as well.

"Well then," Blaineley said excitedly, "why don't you two _prove it_ by stepping into the ring just over there." She motioned to stage-right and the camera quick-panned over to a boxing ring set up nearby.

"Wait, why boxing?" Lightning said skeptically as the shot cut back to him. "Shouldn't we be doin' somethin' more like the final challenge from last season?"

"Yeah, just _wailing_ on each other won't prove who would've won had it not been for Scarlett," Jo added.

"Yes it will!" Blaineley said quickly. "Besides, don't you two wanna settle the rivalry you've had since season one?"

The camera pulled back as Lightning and Jo shared a look of disbelief and Blaineley stared blankly from one to the other.

" _Settle_?" Jo repeated. "What needs to be _settled_?"

"Yeah, Lightning'll go head to head with Jo _anytime_ , and he expects her to do the same! There ain't no competition that can _settle_ that," Lightning added.

"But...then...don't you at _least_ have some kind of _grudge_ you wanna settle?" Blaineley asked, growing frantic. "The triathlon from season one? The slam dunk challenge from last season? _Anything_?!"

Lightning and Jo shared another look. "Sha-nope," Lightning said at the same time Jo said "Not really."

"Y-you're not gonna _fight_?" Blaineley asked in rising panic as the two athletes sat back down. "And you're not even _mad_ at anyone? What is _wrong_ with all of you, this is Total _Drama_ , not Total Everybody's _Fine_ With Each Other!"

"Sorry Blaineley," Dakota told her cohost, putting a sympathetic hand on the older woman's shoulder, "but you can't really _force_ these things."

"Don't you _dare_ talk to me like that!" Blaineley said, slapping her hand away in outrage and standing up. " _I_ am the star of this show, okay? _Me_! I decided to take over as host to _save_ this pathetic show from you amateurs, and this is the thanks I get? Not _one_ of you has been the _least_ bit entertaining!"

"Really?" Dakota asked with a wary look. "Because I think we've been doing totally great. Isn't that right?" She turned to the audience, and they responded with another round of cheering.

"Hey, maybe you're just not cut out for this?" Sam heckled from the Peanut Gallery.

"Not cut _out_ for this?" Blaineley growled, fuming with anger. "I'm too _good_ for this stupid show!" With another growl she picked up a small television set and threw it down on the stage, smashing it. The shot cut back to her now in center-stage as she picked up a chair and flung it away in rage, and a pair of male interns was shown approaching her from either side. They grabbed her by the arms as she continued to mutter hatefully, kicking the black one between the legs and punching the white one in the face. The two men were unphased, however, and began to lead her towards the backstage exit.

"They better give me my old job back," she said angrily. "I'm _never_ doing this show again! Never ever!"

The crowd went wild as she finally disappeared behind the backstage curtain with one last half cry of "And don't for-" that was never quite finished as the camera panned back to the host's couch where Dakota quickly recovered from her shock to smile for the audience.

"Ooh, now _that_ was dramatic," she said excitedly.

"Huhuh, totally!" Sam added as he slid into the seat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. "I guess Blaineley decided to provide the 'entertainment' herself."

Daktoa giggled, then said to the camera "Tune in next time, because the action and excitement has only just begun..."

"On Total," Sam added, raising his left hand out towards the audience.

"Drama," Dakota continued, raising her right hand.

"Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" the pair sang together as the same blaring and dramatic tune from the main series played. The crowd went even wilder, and the odd couple began to make-out.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

I'll be honest: in the re-read, I'm not entirely sure this was as good as it could have been. It is, in many ways, too similar to the canon Aftermath; probably as a result of me just wanting to get it over with. That's not to say the chapter doesn't have it's merits, though - I enjoyed trying to showcase the tension between Blaineley, Dakota, and Sam, though I think it could have been smoother. Also, just writing the non-competitors again was nice.

The two songs, 'Beardo's Rap' and 'Sha-Lightning' (both terribly uncreative titles, I know) are...not as good as I'd hoped. Again, I think they suffer from me trying to make them too much like their canon counterparts...and also, they're kind of too similar to each other. My apologies if they're cringeworthy.

That aside, this chapter basically wraps up Beardo and Lightning for the season, having Beardo being annoyed but accepting that he's been screwed again and Lightning actually getting some character development that I hope didn't seem either out-of-place or too sudden or too late.

Then again, perhaps all my doubts and criticisms are just in my slightly aching head. Let me know what you all think, and what you're looking forward to in the second quarter of the season!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)


	7. Chapter 7 - Broadway, Baby!

**Author's Note**

Here we are once again, dear readers! And with the onset of the second 'quarter' of the main story that I know you're all eager to see develop.

The TVTropes page for this series could, of course, always use a little more work (though I do understand that with such a long fic, finding every last trope will be time-consuming to say the least). I do greatly appreciate the work that has been done on it so far though!

The chapter for next week has, regrettably, not been finished yet again - I fear that this truly will be a running thing with this season, but as I have not yet once failed to meet a deadline I'm not too concerned. Losing some Saturday free time is certainly a drawback, but until I get better at working out the songs it's a necessary one.

And, of course, The Ridonculous Race is now over halfway done - episode 16 hasn't aired yet as of my writing this, so I don't know what surprised it may hold, but with only nine teams remaining things are only going to get more exciting from hear on out.

But that, of course, is not what you're here for. Let's get on to the reviews, shall we?

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** Thank you, but no thanks on your offer to help. I know that sometimes these chapters get delayed by a couple hours, but that's mostly because my attention is required elsewhere. And since all I really do on Friday is give the chapter one final edit, then write up the Author's Notes and upload the chapter to the story, there's really nothing that can be helped anyway. This is all stuff that only I can do (though if it wasn't, I'm still not the type to accept help).

 **Glowing Insanity:** Wow, thank you so much! It really is nice to hear that about a chapter I wasn't very certain on, the songs especially. Though I won't take credit for Blaineley getting dragged away - that was just an adaptation of a canon scene, after all.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yeah, that's what I was trying to go for with the dynamic between Jo and Lightning - they're definitely willing to compete against each other, just not for something petty like giving Blaineley a good show. They like proving themselves against a good rival, even if they haven't outright realized or expressed it themselves.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Hey, glad to hear you liked the Aftermath! And yeah, I wanted to make Lightning's song an amusing display of his ego, while also showcasing that he has accepted some of his flaws.

 **Solarr-Eclipse:** Thank you! Regarding your question about Blaineley, what happened to her last week was basically what happened in canon. She began as an Aftermath host in Bridgette's place, who was one of the first guests. Blaineley spent most of the episode trying to force a confrontation between Geoff and Bridgette over Bridgette's infidelity, but their fighting fell apart when they began to make-out. Blaineley snapped and started throwing stuff around, got dragged away, and stopped being a host. However, she was still forced to be part of the later Aftermaths as a roving reporter of sorts, but she mostly just caused mischief until she was forced to compete on the main show. So, my apologies, but this is probably going to be the path I put her on in the Shuffledverse as well. I am glad you liked Lightning's character development, and you're right that if he'd had it sooner he probably would still be on the show...but ultimately, that's just not what I needed to happen.

 **StarHeart Specials:** Hah, wow, thanks!

 **bruno14:** Glad to hear you like the Aftermaths! And I'm glad that I was able to do so well with the first one of this season, between Lightning song and character development; Blaineley trying and failing to cause him to fight with Jo; and Dawn and Staci being on the run. For Topher I think I'll probably try to expand his role a bit more in future Aftermaths, though it might be a little tricky. Still, I'm glad you liked last week's chapter and I hope you enjoy whatever comes in the future!

 **FOWLKON:** Yeah, I get what you mean. So much of the canon episode was devoted to the tension between Geoff and Bridgette and Blaineley taking advantage of it, and there was nothing that could really take the place of that in the Shuffledverse. Still, it looks like at least some others liked what I put together, so even though I know the chapter is far from perfect I'm pretty happy with it. For The Ridonculous Race, I enjoyed Zimbabwe though the Austrlian episodes had some problems. And yeah, that's a pretty good description of Noah and Owen's dynamic.

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, I'm certainly happy that I was finally able to produce some songs you actually like. I don't mind 'I'm Sorry' myself, and I quite like 'Baby', so it was hard to figure out what to replace them with. I'm glad they both worked out by and large, and you're right that 'Beardo's Rap' mirrors Leshawna's song from later in the canon season, and intentionally so - I figured singing about those who'd taken him down would work well for Beardo. And as for what happens this week...well, it's certainly gonna be set in New York.

 **Boggie445:** Hey, thanks! It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing I decided to do, and I'm glad it was appreciated.

 **Knifez:** Yes, believe me, I know you don't like Aftermaths. Still, I am glad you liked what happened with Beardo and Lightning. As for Staci...well, I do have a plan for her, and I don't think it's gonna be something ridiculous, but that'll come when it comes. Regarding the All-Stars cast, I will be picking them all myself as I did for last season's cast and most of this season's. I am almost certainly going to derive all the first generation returnees from this season, though ranking isn't really gonna be that big a factor. I haven't quite finalized the All-Stars cast since I want to see how this season and season four turn out, but there's only a few spots I'm not nearly certain about. And for the record, the casts for ROTI and PI were determined before I even started writing season one, and I've also figured out what the teams are probably gonna be. There's gonna be a lot of...interesting dynamics in those seasons, I think.

 **DSX62415:** Yeah, I'm starting to agree. Thanks for the review!

 **aloasa:** I'm glad you liked it! Although I personally did like Bridgette's song in canon. Also glad you liked Scarlett's little clip; I wasn't certain how to fill that spot initially, but I'm happy with what I came up with since it shows that she's still trying to free herself.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Thanks! As I've already said, I do have plans for Staci, and Blaineley isn't gone yet... As for Sam being angry about losing his job to Blaineley, well...I expect you'll find more about that when the next Aftermath airs.

 **Guest #1:** Area 51? Well, I do certainly have something in mind already for that episode, but I'm not about to say what.

 **Call Me Ishmael:** Yup, I'm glad I was able to develop Lightning and Jo over these three seasons. It's been pretty fun fleshing them out as being more than just super-competitive jocks, and I'm glad it all turned out so well. And believe me, I'm looking forward to what I have in store for Drumheller's song.

 **Animation Adventures:** Yeah, I kinda miss the Aftermaths myself, if only because they gave us another look at those who were eliminated. And I'm glad you enjoyed the start of this season's Aftermaths, and the plotlines they're gonna bring to the series. I'm happy I was able to give Lightning's song a little pizzazz, and also kinda happy that I'm not the only person who thought they were a little cringeworthy. I...vaguely get the joke, I think? Pretty sure it's from a Disney movie I've never seen. Blaineley's coming back, as I've said, and you may have seen me mention the possibility of rethinking my stance on not doing Shuffled RR on Tumblr. It was, admittedly, mostly a knee-jerk reaction to Leonard getting booted so early, but, well...I have also begun to think about what exactly I would have to do to make such a fic work. No promises, though. One of the main reasons I've been reluctant to adapt the show is that this series takes up so much of my time, and once it's over I'll finally be able to use it for other things I need to do like get an actual job. Adapting TRR would just delay a lot of things I really need to do.

 **The Prime Writer:** Agreed, that was easily one of the best parts of the Aftermaths - they gave other characters a chance to develop a bit, and wrap-up their plotlines. And in this season's case, it also meant building up Blaineley's eventual downfall. Glad that yet another long-time reviewers has enjoyed Lightning's growth over the past few seasons, and also that you liked Beardo's reunion with his band (Drama to Drama in the shuffledverse, not the Drama Brothers) and Blaineley's fangirlish reaction to them. I won't spoil my plans for Dawn and Staci, but I do hope you enjoy how this trilogy ends up ending.

 **Guest #2:** ...what? Please don't leave one-word reviews.

 **Ddynamo:** Hmm...not much else I can say other than that the predictions are interesting like always.

 **TDIMudkip77:** Aha, thanks! Personally I think some of the early chapters could use some edits, but even I was surprised by how good it was when I re-read it some months ago.

 **Guest #3:** Thanks, I know answering reviews takes up a lot of time and space but I think it's worth it. And I'm still leaning away from doing TRR anytime soon, but shuffling the locations is, admittedly, a good idea for it.

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks! And yeah, we haven't seen the last of Blaineley. I'm glad you liked Beardo's Rap, and as for who will discover Scott and Sugar's scheme...well, you'll just have to wait and see.

 **ashDanLand:** Well, I'm glad you liked the first Aftermath of the season and are looking forward to the next one, though I am sad to hear that you think Beardo and Lightning were/are boring guests. Hopefully you'll like the next guests better, I guess?

 **wifishark:** Ah, thanks. I knew it was pretty close to the canon episode, and I wasn't really feeling too happy about it, but I'm glad my reviewers don't all feel the same way.

And with that, the reviews are answered for the week. The list of contestants hasn't changed since last time, but here it is anyway:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Tyler, Geoff

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Bridgette, Shawn, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

The cast is finally off to New York City this week, and I hope you enjoy the adventure that is to come!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 7 – Broadway, Baby!**

"Last time, on Total Drama!" Chris opened the recap, the clips starting with a pan across the jungle path. "The contestants experienced _every_ pitfall Peru could put forward," he said over shots of Sugar getting bitten by piranhas, Team Victory getting cornered by the pair of fake Zing-Zings, and Team Universe getting attacked by giant caterpillars. "They visited some ancient landmarks," Machu Picchu was shown crumbling, "hung out with the locals," Team Victory was shown tied to the tree while the two actors tended their fire nearby, "and made friends with the native wildlife," Team Chris was shown looking shocked as a bunch of tiny monkeys popped out of the trees above them.

"Shockingly, Team Victory actually _lost_ , and Lightning paid the price for it," the host added over shots of Lightning getting the star treatment from the locals, then taking the Drop of Shame. "But what was even _more_ shocking was that _Dawn_ quit the game!" Part of the mystic's final confessional was shown, as well as the shot of her watching the plane fly off from the ruined ruins.

"Thirteen contestants," Chris said as the recap ended and the scene flashed to him in the cockpit with Chef. "One million dollars! Loads more exotic locales to destroy!" He punched his open hand. "Right here, on Total! Drama! World Tour!" As the shot pulled back in time with the usual blaring music, a single red balloon was shown floating up below the plane.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A reverent tune began as the episode opened, starting with a shot of the plane flying before switching to DJ and Bridgette sitting in first-class seats. Both had bowls of what looked like oatmeal, but only the surfer was eating it.

"How can I enjoy first class after Dawn disappeared on me and Sammy?" he moped, halfheartedly stirring his bowl with a spoon. "I mean, she didn't even tell us why she left!"

"Maybe something just...came up?" Bridgette suggested.

"In the middle of the jungle?!" DJ countered on the verge of tears.

"Well...it's not like she left because of _you_ , right?" the surfer said. "Right?" she repeated, looking across to Shawn and Sierra sitting opposite her and DJ.

"Don't expect answers from me," Shawn said with a wary look. "Unless she left because she knew she was infected and wanted to save us, I got nothin'."

"I'm pretty sure that's not it...," Sierra said as the focus moved to her. "Dawn's always been mysterious, so it's hard even for _me_ to figure out why she's gone, and I've analyzed everything any of us has ever _done_ on this show. But if I had to guess, I'd say that she felt she _had_ to abandon you."

A moment passed, and DJ burst into tears. Bridgette and Shawn glared at Sierra, who sheepishly said "Maybe I should've said that a little _differently_..."

/

The scene flashed to the economy section, the camera focused on Team Universe on the left wall. Sammy was sitting in the middle of the five, with Alejandro and Ella on her right and Sugar and Scarlett to her left.

"Don't worry, Sammy," the singer said, "I'm sure you'll meet her again some day!"

"Though perhaps you shouldn't force it," Alejandro added quickly. "Dawn must have left for a reason, after all, and you should respect her desire to stay away."

Sammy sighed despondently. "I guess, but it still _majorly_ hurts, you know? Like, if she didn't wanna talk to me and DJ she could've just said so, we'd understand."

"Sadly, it appears she didn't agree," Alejandro said, patting the cheerleader on the back. "Leaving in such a _secretive_ manner can only mean that she wanted to make sure nobody saw her. Perhaps she just didn't feel the need to say goodbye to you."

Ella gasped. "Oh, say it isn't so!" she said. "It would be _dreadful_ if Dawn didn't want to say goodbye to such close friends."

"That's assuming she felt the same degree of closeness to you that you did to her," Scarlett interjected. "After all, this isn't the _first_ time she's gone off without either of you. Perhaps she's merely grown tired of you?"

"Oh wow, I _really_ hope not," Sammy said sadly.

"Well, whatever the reason she left," Sugar said, suddenly throwing an arm around the cheerleader's shoulders and pulling her close, "just know that Sugar is gonna be _there_ for you. Strong, independent girls like us gotta stick together, y'hear?"

"Oh, thanks," Sammy told the pageant queen with a small smile.

xxx

Sugar began her restroom confessional with a giggle. "What they don't know is that _I_ know why Dawn left," she explained, "on account of my findin' the letter she wrote." She patted her chest. "But since it also talks about how me an' Scott are in a secret alliance, I ain't about to hand it over just yet. Besides, as long as she's mopin' it'll be easier to get her into a _regular_ alliance so I can get rid of Ella and Al."

xxx

The handsome boy in question donned a suspicious look, and the camera pulled back as he smiled at Sammy. "Likewise, I will gladly lend you a shoulder to cry on is you so desire," he said.

"Oh, me too!" Ella added happily. "I'm so happy our team is so close, even in this tragic time!"

/

The camera quick-panned to the other side of the room to where Tyler was watching with a dreamy look on his face.

"Dude, are you _seriously_ making eyes at her?" Scott whispered sharply from next to him as the shot pulled out and the jock was startled out of his reverie.

"What, Ella's pretty hot!" Tyler whispered back defensively. "You know, in an _adorable_ kinda way."

"More like in a _creepy_ kinda way," Scott retorted. "Besides, inter-team romances never work out. I mean, just look at Geoff and Bridgette," he jerked a thumb at the party boy next to him.

Geoff looked shocked for a moment, then furrowed his brow in outrage and said " _Hey_!"

"Say what you want," Scott told him, "but I still think there's more to Bridgette and Shawn's ' _zombie checks_ ' than they're telling us."

"La la la, I'm not _listening_ , I can't _hear_ you!" Geoff said, putting his fingers in his ears and clenching his eyes shut.

xxx

"Ever since Peru, Scott keeps going on and on about Bridgette secretly wanting to hook up with Shawn or Alejandro," Geoff said coolly in the cockpit confessional. "But I don't believe him. I _know_ Bridgette's into me, alright. She told me so herself, and I trust her."

"Doesn't mean she can't be into that scruffy boy, too," Chef interjected from behind him. "Though personally, I think _Alejandro's_ more her type. The guy's just too pretty."

"Not helping here, dude!" Geoff yelled, causing Chef to shrug and turn his attention back to piloting the plane.

xxx

"I wouldn't mind it if Bridgette showed interest in _me_ , eh," Ezekiel said. "She's pretty cute."

"Dude, not you too!" Geoff exclaimed, throwing up his arms in exasperation. "Bridgette is _my_ girlfriend, okay? Not yours."

"Sorry, eh," Ezekiel said, "guess I've just been a little jealous of you. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I've never really had a lot of, umm, _luck_ with girls."

"Don't worry, man," Tyler told him with a smile. "I bet that after this season, girls will be all _over_ the two of us."

"Definitely, eh," Ezekiel grinned, and the two boys bumped fists while Scott rolled his eyes.

xxx

"Yeah, girls'll be all over them alright," Scott said in the restroom confessional. "Probably to laugh at the two biggest _dorks_ on the show. Still, I gotta make sure they don't hook up with anyone. Which'll probably be easy," he said with a thoughtful chin-scratch, "since Ella's crushing on _Al_ and Zeke wouldn't stand a chance with a hunk of _wood_."

xxx

/

A dramatic tune played as the season's world map was shown, depicting the plane icon flying up across the Gulf of Mexico from Peru to the northeastern United States.

/

The scene flashed to the cargo hold where the contestants and Chris were standing in an orange and black motorboat; Chris was notably wearing an orange life jacket. "Take a seat," the host commanded, following it up with "Grab a handle" when they complied. "And I'll tell you where we're going!"

"Ho, sweet boat guy," Tyler said before turning to the girl next to him. "Right, Ella?"

"Oh yes," the princess nodded. "Don't you think so, Alejandro?" she asked her teammate.

"Any boat is sweet if you're in it," the charmer told her, earning a giggle and a blush, as well as an annoyed glare from Tyler. "Though I am concerned that only _Chris_ has a life jacket."

"That's 'cause there's thirteen of you," the host replied, "but only one valuable _me_. HIT IT CHEF!" he cupped his hands to holler, and the camera cut to the cockpit as the pilot unblinkingly pulled a cord over his right shoulder.

The dramatic background music that had been building up peaked as the scene moved back to the cargo hold, the bay door suddenly opening causing the boat to plummet. Chris smiled and the contestants screamed all the way down, until they landed safely in some urban waterway with splash. A few angry mutters and thrilled laughter issued from the teens, and the host sped the boat off.

"Welcome to," he said as the boat sped past a buoy and up to a wooden dock; the camera panned up it and the island it was connected to up to picturesque shot of the Statue of Liberty, "New York City!"

xxx

"Wow, New York City!" Tyler said excitedly in the restroom confessional. "Do you _know_ how many awesome teams _play_ here? Man, I _really_ hope we at least get to see one of the stadiums, how cool would _that_ be?"

xxx

The footage cut back to the cast standing before Chris at the base of the statue. "Your first challenge is a carriage race to Central Park," he told them, "which I like to call 'Liberty or Death!'" He adopted a dramatic pose and tone of voice as he announced the name of the challenge.

"Ooh, a horse-drawn carriage?" Ella spoke up excitedly. "How _romantic_!"

"I just hope that _we_ aren't gonna be the _horses_ ," Shawn said.

"Slow down, conclusion-jumpers," Chris told them with a smile. "It's a _baby_ carriage race!"

"Oh, sweet," Geoff said before looking around. "So where are the carriages at?"

"Yeah," the host said with a finger pointed directly upwards – the camera cut to the Statue of Liberty's crown, where a baby carriages in one team's color was perched at the end of three of the spikes, and likewise three ropes were tied and hanging down the statue's front. "Hope you brought your climbing gloves!"

The contestants groaned as dramatic beats played, each in time with a shot of one of the carriages – first the yellow of Team Victory on the left, the blue to Team Universe in the middle, and the red of Team Chris on the right.

"You think it's _dangerous_ enough?" Scott asked in a snarky tone, craning his neck to look upwards.

"It better be," Chris answered. "It took the interns _forever_ to put those carriages up there, and I don't wanna have to wait around for the crew to make the climb harder."

"Oh, I'm sure it'll be hard enough as is," Scott said, stealthily winking at Sugar while most of the rest of the cast were still looking up at the statue. Sugar grinned and quickly winked back, and the camera quick-panned to Sierra turning her head towards them and wordlessly raising an eyebrow.

xxx

"Okay, are my eyes playing tricks on me, or did I just see _Sugar_ winking at _Scott_?" Sierra asked the restroom camera. "I don't know what's going on between those two, but I intend to find out," she added with a suspiciously thoughtful look. "The fans will _definitely_ wanna know if those two hook up." She finished with a matter-of-fact nod.

xxx

"Okay," Chris said as the shot cut back to him, "let's cut the chatter and get on with the splatter. Err, _climbing_ ," he corrected. "We'll leave the _splatter_ to fate. Anywho, once you reach Lady Liberty's crown," the top of the statue was shown again, "pull up your rope to bring your team up faster." The camera panned up the grayish ropes as a tense tune played. "Once everybody's up, your team grabs the correct carriage off the spike," the camera panned from the end of the ropes to the carriages, "races back down to your boat," the shot cut to a trio of motorboats in the teams' colors waiting at the end of the dock, "and follow the buoys to your next exciting destination," the camera panned over to a buoy as a drumroll started up, "Central Park!" A gushing fountain was shown in the middle of the park.

"Hey, are we gonna visit any of the stadiums or anything?" Tyler raised his hand and asked.

"Nope, no sports today," Chris answered. "Only challenges."

"Aww...," Tyler said, slumping over in disappointment.

/

The footage skipped forward to the three teams gathered at colored mats below each of the three ropes – Team Victory on the left; Team Universe in the middle; Team Chris on the right.

Chris blew a whistle, and a tense challenge tune began to play as Alejandro immediately jumped onto his team's rope and started climbing.

Sammy sighed, then grabbed the rope next. "Might as well get this over with..."

A flash took the focus to Team Victory, as Geoff grabbed the rope and recoiled in pain. "Ouch! Dude, what is this rope _made_ out of?"

"Steel wool," Chris answered after walking over. "Strong and rough, just like the Big Apple."

"Killer," Geoff said blankly before jumping up and climbing again.

"Alright, time to do this thing!" Tyler declared, jumping and grabbing the rope as well.

A third flash took the scene to Team Chris. "Guess I'll go first," Shawn volunteered. "Should be a piece of cake, right?"

"You _do_ have the best climbing skills," Bridgette told him with a smile that he returned.

"Exactly," Shawn nodded before he grabbed the rope. "And since zombies can't climb, we should be safe. As long as they aren't already up there."

Bridgette chuckled. "I'm sure we'll be fine," she told him as he began to climb. She turned to her other teammates, and with a smile asked "Okay, who's next?"

"Oh, sorry," DJ said when he realized Bridgette was looking at him, "what're we doing again?"

"Climbing the Statue Liberty, remember?" the surfer said with concern on her face.

"Right, sorry," the gentle giant said in embarrassment. "I've been kinda zoned out for the last few minutes thinkin' about where Dawn coulda gone. You think maybe she ended up comin' to New York too?"

"Well if she _did_ , I don't see why she would have left in the first place," Sierra commented.

"You...go on ahead, Sierra," Bridgette told her teammate, seeing DJ's sad look. "DJ and I will be up soon."

"Okay," Sierra said as she grabbed the rope, "just remember that we're in a competition, and that losing isn't gonna help _any_ of us."

"Don't worry, we know," Bridgette insisted, motioning for Sierra to climb.

xxx

"What was I supposed to do?" the surfer said in the restroom confessional, shrugging helplessly. "I couldn't just let DJ stand around looking so _sad_! Honestly," she put her hands on her hips as her expression became stern, "I don't know _what_ Dawn was thinking letting such sweet people go without so much as a goodbye! She better have a _good excuse_ for putting DJ and Sammy through this heartbreak."

xxx

"Look, DJ," Bridgette said, putting her hand on the brickhouse's arm, "I get that you're pretty messed up over Dawn leaving, but Sierra does have a point. I hate to say it, but if we lose you might end up going home. And I _know_ you don't wanna have to leave Sammy, too."

DJ sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't be slowin' everybody down over this. I'll start payin' more attention."

"Good," Bridgette smiled. "Now let's climb!" DJ smiled and nodded as a triumphant tune welled up in the background, but it quickly fell flat when he jumped, grabbed the rope, and immediately let it go with a wail of pain. Bridgette sighed and put her hand on her forehead.

/

The scene cut forward and up to the statue's crown where Chris stood on one of the spikes. "It's been twenty-five blister-busting minutes," he yelled both at the camera and down towards the contestants, "and _nothing_! You guys are bumming me out!"

As he yelled, the shot cut down to Shawn making his way up the rope. "Hey, this is pretty easy!" he commented to himself as he climbed past Sugar to his left. "A little _slow_ , but it shouldn't be much longer!"

The Pageant Queen scowled nastily, but he ignored the look and kept moving. The camera shifted focus to Sugar as she leaned further left and saw the members of Team Victory making good progress as well.

"Psst," she hissed to Scott, easily gaining his attention. "You keep goin', I'm gonna try to mess with Bridgette and DJ," she whispered.

"Good idea," Scott replied with a grin. "I'll see if I can cut the rest of their team off at the top." Sugar donned a serious look and nodded, which Scott returned before he resumed climbing.

/

"Hurry it up, people!" Chris called down as the scene cut to the crown again. "I'm officially _bored_!"

With a grunt of effort, Alejandro pulled himself up nearby. "You...are _pure_... _evil_!" he told the host, glaring as he caught his breath.

/

The shot flashed down to DJ and Bridgette climbing up level with the statue's chest, the brickhouse out in front and wincing with every inch he climbed.

"You got this, DJ," the surfer called. "You've made it this far, you can make it all the way to the top."

"I know, oww!" DJ said. "I just, _oww_! Wish we were climbin' somethin' _softer_!"

The camera panned up and to the left, where Sugar was watching from near the statue's chin. She smiled impishly, then allowed her foot to slip off the side of the statue. "Whoops!" she declared as she was sent into a spinning rightward swing. She bumped into Team Chris' rope and caused it to wobble and sway as well, and the camera panned down to DJ and Bridgette as they voiced their surprise.

"Whoa!" Bridgette said as she and DJ swung, then slammed into the statue and suddenly stabilized. "Phew!" the surfer added in a close-up, wiping the sweat from her brow and smiling upward. "I thought we were gonna fall! You okay up there DJ?"

"No!" the gentle giant squealed in discomfort, the camera panning up to show that he'd gotten his foot caught in the statue's chest.

xxx

"That was _really_ embarrassing," DJ confessed in the restroom. "You just don't put your foot there, even if it's a statue! Man, Momma is _not_ gonna like seein' that on TV. Sorry, Momma."

xxx

"Ughhhh, let's goooo!" Chris exclaimed in annoyance as the camera panned across those who'd already made it to the top and were trying to pull up their teammates. Shawn and Sierra were pulling hard for Team Chris; Alejandro was joined by Sammy and Ella for Team Universe; and for Team Victory Geoff, Tyler, and Ezekiel were confidently pulling up their last member. "I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I gotta pee!" Chris complained, now out of the shot.

Scott finally reached the top of the statue, and Geoff and Tyler whooped with joy as Ezekiel helped the farmer up. "Boo yah! Team Dude's rockin' it in _first_!" the party boy exclaimed, and the four boys shared a high-five. "I'll go snag the carriage, bros," he added eagerly before dashing off, and the viewpoint shifted to show him cautiously making his way up one of the spikes towards the yellow carriage.

"Uggh, what is _taking_ them?" Sierra grunted as she and Shawn continued to pull on the rope with no sign of their teammates.

"I don't know," the survivalist commented, "but they'd better be _alive_ when they get up here. I don't wanna fall behind _and_ lose two teammates to the undead."

The shot cut over to Team Universe, who were also still struggling. "Seriously, did Sugar stop to eat the _statue_ or something?" Alejandro said in annoyance. "She and Scarlett can not be _this_ bad at climbing."

"Don't say that," Ella said with a light scolding tone. "I'm sure they're trying their best!"

"Perhaps Sugar is," Alejandro conceded, "but I wouldn't put it past _Scarlett_ to make our lives miserable just out of spite."

Sammy sighed. "I wish Dawn were here right now," she said.

"I suppose she _would_ be another person helping us pull," Alejandro said, gaze still locked on the edge of the statue.

"Well, mostly I just miss her," Sammy said, "but that would be nice too I guess."

"Woo hoo!" Geoff hollered excitedly, drawing the focus back to him and his teammates as he carried the yellow carriage back down the spike. "Piece of cake, dudes!"

"Team Victory takes the lead," Chris said off-screen.

"So how are we supposed to get back down?" Tyler asked.

"Fireman's pole anyone?" the host replied, the camera cutting to him standing next to a pole rising up from a hole in the statue. "It's only a thirty story drop!"

Tense music played as the shot moved to the pole hole looking up at the four boys looking down.

"Whoa," Geoff said blankly.

"That's a long drop, eh," Ezekiel added.

"Well _someone's_ gotta go first," Scott told them.

"On it!" Tyler said with a confident grin. The viewpoint changed again, now showing a side-view of the jock sliding down the pole. "Extreme!" he shouted excitedly, and the shot changed back to the view looking up at the other three boys as they winced at the sound of a crash. "I'm okay!" Tyler called up from below, and they shared a look.

"Woo hoo!" Geoff whooped as he slid down along with the carriage. Ezekiel and Scott followed after him, both screaming in fear.

/

A flash took the scene back to Team Universe as Alejandro helped Sugar up to the statue's crown, with Scarlett having already joined them.

"Phew, that was _tough_!" Sugar said in relief as she finally regrouped with her teammates.

"I'll grab our carriage!" Ella volunteered cheerily, and a grand and elegant tune played as she was then shown dancing gracefully up the spike and grabbing the blue carriage.

xxx

"As I've always _adored_ singing, it felt natural to take dance classes too," Ella explained in the restroom confessional. "And I must say, being able to stay balanced anywhere has sure come in handy."

xxx

A couple dramatic notes played as the five members of Team Universe were shown screaming as they descended down the fireman's pole – first Alejandro, then Sammy, then Scarlett, then Sugar, and Ella bringing up the rear with the carriage in her hand and a musical twinge to her voice.

/

Back up top, Shawn and Sierra were still having trouble pulling up their teammates. As they yanked and heaved, the camera quick-panned down to Bridgette and DJ – the brickhouse still with his foot caught, the surfer trying to help him, and both trying to hold on to the rope that was being pulled on.

"Almost...got it!" Bridgette said, a short tune of triumph playing as DJ's foot was finally freed. The two were suddenly yanked up by their teammate's efforts, and immediately hit their heads on the statue's chin.

/

Down at the base of the statue, Team Victory ran out of a door with Geoff and the carriage in the lead. "There's the boat, dudes!" he called as Scott, Tyler, and Ezekiel followed him out.

The scene moved to the motorboats waiting at the docks, and the four boys quickly and easily jumped into the blue one. Scott took the wheel and started the engine, and sped the boat away with enough force that Ezekiel stumbled and fell backwards into the water.

"Aww, man!" Tyler said in shock.

"Turn around, bro!" Geoff told Scott, who was concentrating on driving.

"What?" the farmer asked over the roar of the engine.

/

"Finally!" Shawn said as the shot flashed to DJ and Bridgette flopping over onto the statue's head.

"Sorry guys, I got my foot stuck," DJ explained, rubbing the foot in question.

"Doesn't matter," Shawn told him. "You two pull yourselves together, I'll grab the carriage." The shot cut to him gulping nervously and inching along the spike, the dramatic and tense music continuing to play.

"Man, if I hadn't been so clumsy I could've gotten it easy!" DJ said sadly.

"It's alright," Bridgette told him "we understand."

"Well _I_ don't" Sierra countered with a frown. "How _exactly_ did you get your foot stuck anyway?"

"I don't know, we just started swingin' when Sugar accidentally slipped and hit our rope!" DJ said defensively.

"Hmmm...," Sierra said, rubbing her chin in thought before Shawn suddenly rushed past behind her pushing their red-colored carriage.

"Alright guys, let's go!" he called out to his teammates, who quickly scrambled to follow. The viewpoint cut to the pole inside the statue again as Shawn was shown sliding down. "Look out below!" he yelled confidently.

He was followed shortly after by Bridgette, Sierra, and DJ, all three screaming for their lives.

/

The scene cut to a close-up of the back end of the blue boat as Ezekiel struggled to pull himself out of the water. The dramatic challenge music returned as the five members of Team Universe hopped onboard, Alejandro taking the wheel and starting the engine.

"Alright ladies," he said, "let's move!"

"Wait, eh!" Ezekiel tried to say before they sped off, leaving him to tread water by the dock. He looked back at the final boat as Shawn untied it from the dock and jumped on, then Bridgette drove it off. "Guys, wait!" he called out to them, only to quickly dive as they unwittingly drove over him. "Watch where you're going, ya knobs!" he yelled at them after resurfacing, angrily shaking a fist.

"Aww man, now we're in last!" Tyler groaned as Team Victory's boat was shown turning around and heading back for their missing teammate.

"Get on, bro!" Geoff said, pulling Ezekiel out of the water as their boat approached.

"Wait, are we in first place?" Sammy asked with a hint of distractedness as she looked around.

"We sure are!" Sugar said with a chuckle.

"Yes," Scarlett spoke up, "but more _importantly_ how are we supposed to reach Central Park by boat? It's completely landlocked!"

"I fear I know," Alejandro said. "There's the next buoy!" He pointed ahead of them, and the camera cut to a close-up of the buoy as it bobbed and rang. The shot zoomed out to show that it was in front of a partially-barred and distinctly dirty opening in the side of a cement wall; another similar opening was situated nearby, and several smaller pipes jutted out all around. The water around the various openings was noticeably brown.

As the boat sped inside, the members of Team Universe began to groan in disgust. Team Chris' boat followed them in seconds later and also bemoaned the smell, and Team Victory followed too moments later.

"The sewer? _Seriously_?" Scott's voice echoed after he and his teammates entered the tunnel. "I knew this show was a bunch of garbage, but I didn't think it was _literal_!"

"Who will survive?" Chris said as a few booming notes played. "And who's takin' a dive?" The shot cut to him looking through a telescope on top of the Statue of Liberty. "Find out when we return, on Total! Drama! World Tour!" The camera zoomed out as he spoke, ending on a full shot of the statue.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

An eerie tune played as the episode resumed on a shot of Team Victory motoring at a decent pace through the sewers.

"Oh my gosh you guys," Sierra said through a pinched nose, "this place is worse than the bathrooms from season one. I _so_ hope we get first class again for this, we are all _seriously_ gonna need a shower."

"Totally," Bridgette said before a deep, loud growl rumbled through the air. "What was that?!"

"The alligators down here are just an urban myth, right?" DJ squeaked in fear.

"Maybe," Shawn said, "but that might just be what they _want_ you to think..." DJ whimpered again as they sped off, and the eerie music hit a few deeper beats as the camera lingered just long enough to catch a giant albino alligator poke its head up on the surface and growl again.

/

The growl continued as the focus moved ahead to Team Universe, who shot uneasy looks around them.

"Oh my," Ella said worriedly.

"Whatever that is, it sounds _hungry_ ," Sugar added.

"We'd best keep an eye out for alligators," Alejandro said, eyes wide as he looked around.

" _We_ will keep an eye out," Scarlett corrected harshly. " _You_ need to watch where we're going so I won't have to verify the creature's existence from inside its _gastrointestinal tract_."

The shot panned over to Sammy as she looked around in silent horror, the camera rotating to get her point of view. The background music became even eerier when she caught sight of a familiar blonde-haired figure standing with its back to the camera in a side passage. Sammy was shown gasping sharply, then furrowing her brow in confusion – the shot moved back to her perspective, but that short, blonde, and waifish figure was now gone without a trace.

/

Another growl echoed through the sewers as the scene flashed to Team Victory.

"Okay," Geoff said with a worried look ahead, "is it just me, or did that come from ahead of us?"

"I think I heard it too, eh," Ezekiel said nervously. "And I'm also thinkin' that I don't wanna meet an alligator right now."

"Well it's not like we have a choice," Scott spoke up over the motor. "We're behind enough as it is, so you'd better hang on tight 'cause I am _not_ slowing this thing down!" Tyler was shown gulping, and gripping hard on the side of the boat.

/

The tension in the music faded slightly as the scene cut back to Team Universe.

"I'm telling you, I saw _Dawn_ back there!" Sammy told her teammates.

"What would she be doing in the sewers of New York?" Alejandro asked skeptically.

"I-I don't know," Sammy told him, sitting near the engine with Sugar, "but maybe we should go back and look for her?"

"Hah!" Scarlett barked out a laugh from the front of the boat. "As though we'd compromise our lead in order to entertain what was _obviously_ a hallucination induced by a mix of stress, sewer gas, and wishful thinking."

"I know what I saw," Sammy said forcefully, the camera once again shifting to her perspective as a white-scaled head began to rose out of the water in the distance and the music rose dramatically, "and now I see an _alligator_!" Her rapidly-panicked voice was accompanied by a vigorous point that successfully got the attention of her teammates, and all five screamed as the giant alligator jumped out of the water to lunge at them. Fortunately Alejandro had already swerved out of the way, and the albino reptile completely missed them.

It splashed down into the water, then surfaced facing the other way. A moment later Team Chris' boat entered the scene with a scream of their own, ramping off the alligator's head and landing in the water. The boat continued forward a few feet, but soon stopped as the the engine began to sputter and puff and die.

"We've stalled!" Shawn shouted as he frantically tried and failed to drive the boat.

"What are we gonna do?!" Bridgette said, holding her head in panic. She looked up at the alligator behind them as it growled again, and the four teens screamed.

The shot cut to Team Victory approaching rapidly from behind. Geoff, Tyler, and Ezekiel were already screaming, but Scott's eyes narrowed as a smirk formed on his face. "Hold on, boys, I'm gonna bring this puppy around!"

The other three answered by screaming even harder as Scott maneuvered their boat around the alligator's right side, deliberately taking it as close as possible and angling the craft so that it slammed into the side of Team Chris' boat and bounced off, knocking their four opponents off their feet as they themselves continued on.

"Dude, what was _that_ for?!" Geoff exclaimed. "Bridgette's on that boat!"

"Sorry, I guess I just lost control for a second!" Scott explained with a sorry expression that rapidly faded as Geoff sent a worried look behind him.

"This isn't good!" Bridgette exclaimed in panic as she got back on her feet and immediately noticed the alligator that was now looming angrily over them.

"You're telling _me_!" Shawn said as he tried to start their boat.

"We're all gonna die!" DJ screamed in terror as the gargantuan reptile opened its mouth and lunged at them.

/

The scene briefly cut to black as the four members of Team Chris screamed in terror, then cut back to Team Universe and Team Victory racing through the sewers.

"Oh man," Geoff said with an immensely panicked expression while pulling on the brim of his hat, "oh man oh man, this is _horrible_ dudes!"

"Uh, yeah, totally!" Scott said with an unnoticed lack of sincerity. He noticed Sugar look back at them and winked, and after a moment's confusion the pageant queen winked back.

/

The scene cut outside to the end of a large pipe as Team Universe's boat sped out into the open, and Team Victory followed shortly after.

"Woo hoo!" Tyler cheered in a close-up, the dramatic music pausing. "We made it!"

"Wait, where's DJ's boat?" Sammy asked frantically as the focus moved to her team.

The dramatic music resumed as the shot cut back to the pipe and the giant albino alligator began to shoot out, only to get stuck. It coughed up Team Chris' boat, the four teens screaming as they hit the water with their motor running once more.

All three teams breathed sighs of relief as they reached another dock at around the same time, with Team Universe taking a slight lead and Team Chris taking a slightly greater loss.

"Whoa, hahaho!" Chris laughed through a gas mask, waiting on the dock with Chef Hatchet. " _Nasty_! That's the kind of stink that _never_ comes out." The camera pulled back a little as he looked at the hulking man beside him. "Make the gator sign a waiver so we can show it on TV."

"Stupid show...," Chef grumbled, the dramatic music resuming again as he exchanged his chef's hat for a purple swimming cap and dived into the water. He tapped the trapped gator on the arm, then raised a clipboard to it – it signed with its claw.

"Man, sorry Bridge," Geoff told his girlfriend with a genuinely apologetic look on his face, "we didn't mean to ram into you back there."

The surfer sighed. "I know. I'm just glad we all made it out of there in one piece. Any _one_ of us could have been eaten in there."

"Yeah, guess we _all_ managed to avoid certain death," Scott said. "So, uh, no hard feelings, okay?" He smiled oddly, and while Bridgette gave him a stern and disbelieving look only Sierra looked truly suspicious.

xxx

"Okay, knowing Scott he probably crashed into us on _purpose_ ," Sierra said in the restroom confessional. "It fits with the strategy he used last time, although I guess he's moved on to sabotaging other teams now and not just his own. But some reason, I can't help but feel like there's more _to_ it this time..."

She ended her confessional with her hand on her chin and her brow furrowed in deep thought.

xxx

"Alright, focus people!" Chris clapped, now standing in front of a small blackboard that showed three curved and crisscrossing lines – one in each team's color – leading to a bluish circle, and then to a heart. "Welcome to the second half of the challenge, 'Bobbing for Big Apples, NYC Style'!" As he named the challenge the camera zoomed out to show the three teams assembled with their carriages next to the dock.

"Here's how it's gonna go down," the host continued, taking a pointing stick out from behind his back. "Team must push their carriages along one of the three paths," the shot zoomed in on the three colored lines, with a particular focus on the blue one in the middle, "to Central Park's fabled Turtle Pond." He traced the short and to-the-point path all the way to the bluish circle representing the pond.

"There, one member of each team will bob for some very special apples, using _only_ their mouths." The shot briefly cut to Chris pointing at his shining teeth. "No hands! Once they get it to shore," the focus moved back to the image on the blackboard, "the rest of the team must load it into their carriages and race to the finish line in the heart of Central Park." He traced the remaining path with his pointer, then tapped the heart symbol.

"And what's a baby carriage without a _baby_?" he asked with his usual smile.

"Uhh, some kinda tiny shoppin' cart, I guess," Sugar guessed.

"It was a rhetorical question," Chris said blankly.

"Umm, Chris?" Sammy hesitantly raised her hand. "I think I might've seen-"

"Yeah, I'm sure you saw a _lotta_ things down there, Samey," the host answered sternly. "And I don't wanna hear about any of 'em. _Ev-er_."

Sammy sighed sadly, and DJ raised an eyebrow at her.

"Anyway, one member of each team _must_ ride in their carriage," Chris continued his explanation, "and stay there all the way to the finish line."

"Guess that's me," Shawn volunteered for Team Chris with an uncertain shrug.

The camera panned left to Team Victory as Scott, Geoff, and Tyler simultaneously declared "Not it!" They looked at their fourth member, and Ezekiel hung his head and groaned.

The focus moved further leftward to Team Universe. "Obviously, we should give the role to whichever one of us weighs the least," Scarlett said as Alejandro gave her a skeptical look. The evil girl grinned viciously, then suddenly shoved both Ella and Sammy from behind – both girls screamed, but while Ella managed to regain her balance immediately the more distracted cheerleader fell flat on her face.

"And that proves _what_ exactly?" Alejandro asked dryly while helping Sammy up.

"The fall notwithstanding," Scarlett answered matter-of-factly, "Sammy's abdomen gave slightly _less_ resistance, implying she has less mass."

"I'm fine being the baby, but you could've just _asked_ ," Sammy said in mild annoyance as she dusted herself off.

"True, but this was more satisfying," Scarlett told her.

"Universe got here first," Chris announced as the shot cut back to him, "so, they get the shortest path to the pond." He pointed to the middle blue line on the blackboard. "Team Victory gets the longest path on the left," he pointed to the yellow line, "and Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean gets the longest path on the right. Oh," he grinned as he looked back at the teens, "and, a little _traveling music_ please?"

"Oh, I've always _dreamed_ of singing in New York City!" Ella said excitedly.

"So we really _are_ doing the music thing every time?" Shawn asked.

"Yup!" the host smiled. "Fun, huh?" The familiar bell chimes heralded the appearance of the music note icon, and were accompanied by a grand showtune-like theme. "Now move it!" Chris added sternly. "We only have permits to cordon off this section of the park for another hour."

~/~

[A grand show tune began to play as the teams started running, and the camera quick-panned first to the Washington Square Arch, and then to the Brooklyn Bridge which faded into a color drawing of the same area.]

" _What's not to love about New York City? The skyline's high and the view is pretty!"_

[Ella began the song, an all-pink version of her popping up on the right side of the screen. The bridge faded in favor of the skyline behind it as it was mentioned in-song, Ella putting her hand on her brow to shield the sun as she smiled at it.]

" _The subway lines, are right on time;"_

[She rapidly faced the camera and moved to the left side of the screen as the background shifted to a subway station near the tracks.]

" _What's not to love about New York?"_

[She through up her hands as she finished the verse, and behind her a subway train sped by with its headlights flooding the 'camera'.]

" _The food is hotter, the trash is trasher;"_

[A cyan-colored Geoff sang next as the lights faded into him walking and dancing along a street, the music taking a deeper tone; he passed a hot dog stand and leaped over a pile of garbage bags.]

" _The mugs are mugger-er and the fast are faster;"_

[Geoff danced past the next alley which was completely blocked by what looked like a burly and menacing white man colored dark green; once that alley was out of sight Geoff paused as a horde of differently-colored silhouettes ran past him in the opposite direction.]

" _The roads get clogged and traffic is a slog; What's not to love about New York?"_

[As the runners cleared away they were replaced by a swarm of cars which Geoff happily took to dancing on top of. As he finished his verse the taxi he was standing on drove out from under him, and with a stunned "Whoa!" he fell face-first through a manhole.]

" _The news, and the papers, big scoops, and headline breakers;"_

[A lavender Sierra sang next as the music became a bit grander. She was wearing a press hat and holding a small notepad as the camera panned up to her in front of the skyscraper. The background shifted as she sang, putting her in a newspaper printing press.]

" _It's crazy 'cause the city never sleeps!"_

[She spread her arms wide, and one of the newspapers that was printing behind her flew off the press and into the 'camera'; the headline read ''Total Drama World Tour' Is International Sensation' over a picture of another stretch of New York City, which promptly enlarged and took over the screen."

"Yay!"

[Ella cheered as she popped into view again; she started dancing as the tune slowed down, beginning with a few simple tap steps before twirling ballet-style. Light-blue Alejandro stepped in to join her, taking her by the hand and spinning her around even more. The two joined hands but were startled to a stop when light-green Sugar bounded in front of them and started dancing for the camera in her own awkward and nameless style. The three were interrupted even further when Scarlett's head appeared, red and furious. "GET MOVING!" she yelled at them, shocking the three into running again.]

" _Baseball games and the parking limits;"_

[A low drumroll led up to the scene moving to Team Victory singing together as they ran through a purple-tinted Central Park; they were all colored yellow like the the carriage Geoff was pushing Ezekiel in.]

" _Cross Manhattan in a New York minute!"_

[The camera panned back a little ways to a blue-colored Team Universe as they sang the next line; Alejandro pushing Sammy in the carriage.]

" _And pretzel stands for all you pretzel fans!"_

[Sierra said with a wink as she and Team Chris, all colored a light red, passed by a food stand with a pretzel painted on the side. DJ, of course, was doing the pushing with Shawn in the carriage.]

" _What's not to love;"_

[Team Chris sang as one.]

" _What's not to love;"_

[Team Universe joined in as the shot cut to back to them.]

" _What's not to loo~oove about New York!"_

[Team Victory joined in for the final line as the camera pulled back to show all three teams running in a cluster with Team Universe and Team Victory barely in front. Shot were shown of the printing press, an empty alley, the Washington Square Arch, the pretzel stand, and the Brooklyn Bridge again as the music came to its conclusion.]

~/~

The scene moved to a close-up of three large apples floating in a pond, a pigeon sitting on the rightmost one and hocking up a throaty bit of spit before flying off.

"Aww shucks!" Sugar exclaimed in disappointment as the camera pulled back to show the three teams, the host and assistant, and a young white woman on a nearby park bench attending an actual baby carriage. "I thought we had the short path, how come everyone else is here too?"

"Well, you guys _did_ stop to dance," Sammy said.

"Sorry everyone," Ella sheepishly told her team. "Those apples look nice, though," she added as the camera cut in closer. "And also very large."

"Remember!" Chris said, drawing the camera's focus to him an Chef atop a large rock in the pond. "No hands!"

"I've totally got this, guys!" Tyler declared confidently, dashing from his teammates to the pond and jumping into a dive...and smacking flat against the water, earning a wincing groan from the others as he sunk into the murk.

"Don't expect me to do this," Scarlett said as the shot panned slightly to the left. "Not only am I the reason we didn't fall behind even further, but this wretched collar might short-circuit in the water and _kill me_."

"Well, _I_ can't go in and risk ruining my hair," Alejandro said. "And, of course, I wouldn't want Ella to have to swim around in that filth. And since Sammy can't leave the carriage, I suppose that leaves only..."

Four pairs of eyes moved to the pageant queen who crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Fine. Guess it's time for _Sugar_ to step up and show the rest of you how it's done." She walked over to the edge of the pond and jumped right in, her make-up running as she came up to the surface again.

"Bridgette?" Shawn asked his teammate as the focus moved to Team Chris; Sierra immediately looked at the surfer while DJ looked lost in thought.

"Uh, sure, I guess I can do it," Bridgette said. "I'm still a little wary about swimming with _turtles_ again, but it can't be _that_ bad, can it? Wish me luck!" She smiled at her teammates and started walking forward.

"Good luck!" Shawn told her with a smile of his own.

"Huh?" DJ said, blinking a few times as he remembered what as happening. "Oh right, good luck!"

Bridgette took another step, but Sierra quickly stopped her. "Be careful around Sugar, okay?" she whispered in the surfer's ear. "I think she's _up to_ something..."

The surfer stifled a laugh. "Sorry," she told her frowning teammate, "it's just that's it's _Sugar_. I don't think she's the scheming type." Sierra made a displeased noise and looked away, and Bridgette walked over to the pond and dived in as well.

"Well you might not think she's the scheming type," Sierra muttered with narrowed eyes, "but _I'm_ not gonna take that chance." She sneakily stepped forward and grabbed some of the reeds growing next to the pond, then darted back to her teammates and grabbed Shawn's hat.

"Hey!" the survivalist said in bewilderment as he reached up to feel his shaggy hair.

He only got a rushed "Sorry I'll bring it back later thank you!" from Sierra as she ran off.

The background music picked up the pace and intensity as the camera moved to Team Victory cheering their teammate on. The shot then cut to Tyler as he swam behind one of the giant apples, then began to blow on it to no effect. "Uggh, it's not working!" he called out.

"Yo, try usin' your head, eh!" Ezekiel suggested.

The jock complied by repeatedly bashing the apple with his skull, and slowly but surely it started moving through the water.

The camera zoomed out slightly as Bridgette swam rapidly past Tyler, behind another apple, and began pushing it along with her head in a much smoother fashion.

"Yeah!" the camera cut to Shawn cheering excitedly from his team's carriage. "You can do it, Bridgette! _Nobody's_ better in the water than you are!"

As the others continued to cheer, the shot cut to Geoff as he glared sharply at the survivalist. "You got this, dude!" he called to Tyler, the scene briefly going back to them to show the jock falling behind the surfer. "You're _unstoppable_ , bro, the _greatest_! Bridgette's _nothing_ next to you, bro! Less than a worm, even!"

Bridgette gasped indignantly, then repeated the gesture when a grinning Tyler bashed his apple ahead of her.

"Vamos! Vamos! Get going, Sugar!" Alejandro yelled as the focus moved to Team Universe. The pageant queen was only just at the final apple, and paused to glare back at her teammates.

"I _am_ vamosin'!" she yelled. "Ain't my fault these turtles keep gettin' in my way!" She raised her left arm out of the water, revealing the two small turtles that were biting down angrily on it. "Get off, you!" she said, wildly shaking her arm and successfully dislodging the reptiles. As luck would have it, they landed on the back of Tyler and Bridgette.

"Yeow!" Tyler hollered in pain as the turtle bit down on his shoulder, halting his progress through the pond.

Bridgette smiled as she passed him by a little, but then frowned in shock and horror as she looked back and saw the turtle riding her. " _Oww_! Hey!" she said as it bit into her butt.

"It's called 'Turtle Pond' for a _reason_ ," Chris said with an amused expression as he watched from atop his rock.

"Now make way for the Pond Queen," Sugar said as she swam past Tyler and Bridgette. Unlike them, she had opted to balance the oversized fruit on her head; like them, however, she was now being swarmed and bitten by multiple turtles. She was the most persistent, though, and soon managed to pass both Tyler and Bridgette up.

"C'mon, dude, _hurry_!" Geoff yelled, gripping his hair in rising panic.

"You can do it, Bridgette!" Shawn added. "Just ignore the pain, and-"

He was cut off when a figure suddenly ran past him, dressed in a familiar knit cap and sunglasses and with a long magenta-dyed braid slung over her mouth like a mustache – clearly Sierra in disguise. A trophy woven from reeds and stuffed with pretzels in her hands, she skidded to a stop at the edge of the pond right in front where Sugar, Bridgette, and Tyler were moving their giant apples towards shore.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" Sierra called out in a deepened voice, waving at Sugar at immediately gaining her attention.

"What is it, I'm busy!" Sugar yelled back in irritation.

"I'd like to inform you that you've just been selected the winner of, uh, the annual Central Park Stealth Pageant!" Sierra said.

Sugar paused, and the apple fell behind her with a splash. "Central Park _Stealth_ Pageant?" she repeated. "What's that? I ain't ever heard of no _Stealth_ Pagent before."

"It's...a little-known New York tradition," Sierra quickly explained as Bridgette and Tyler, shrugging away their momentary confusion, continued the challenge behind Sugar. "Doesn't get much press. On a randomly-selected day each year, judges scour the park for the most _beautiful_ and _talented_ girl they can find, and-"

"Get _moving_ , you imbecile!" Scarlett yelled angrily from the sidelines. "This is _obviously_ a trick!"

"You don't know that, so hold your horses!" Sugar shot back. "So then," she asked the disguised Sierra, "you're sayin' that li'l ol' me was judged the most beautiful girl in the whole park?"

"And _talented_!" Sierra repeated with a nod. "Here's your grand prize." She thrust out the cup trophy woven from reeds and stuffed with pretzels.

Sugar's face lit up and she squealed with delight. "Oh my gosh, thank you so much for awardin' me such a wonderful prize!" she said, swimming towards the shore Sierra was standing on. "I'm not prepared to make a speech, but just give me a second and I'll see what I can come up with."

"Take your time," Sierra said, looking warily over her shoulder. The camera followed her gaze back to the shore where the others were standing – Tyler and Bridgette were nearly finished, and the members of Team Universe were largely yelling at Sugar to focus on the challenge.

"C'mon, we're barely in the lead!" Scott hissed as Tyler bashed their apple close enough for him to grab it out of the water. As he walked off with it, the dazed-looking jock sunk into the pond – luckily, Geoff had lingered behind and quickly pulled him out with a concerned look on his face. Scott put the apple down on Ezekiel in the carriage and ran off with it, Geoff and Tyler following shortly behind.

The camera moved to DJ helping Bridgette out of the water with one hand and holding up the apple in the other. "Let's get goin'," he said, gently handing the fruit to his carriage-bound teammate but partly crushing Shawn just the same.

"Right," Bridgette said, dripping wet and covered with bites and scratches. "C'mon, Sierra!" she called as the trio began to move again, and the shot moved back to Sugar and their disguised teammate.

"Coming!" Sierra said in her normal voice, tossing the pretzel-filled trophy away and running to catch up with Team Chris. The trophy landed in the lap of the young white woman on the bench nearby, who looked at in confusion before her baby reached out and grabbed a pretzel.

"It was a _fake_!" Sugar gasped in sudden realization.

"That's what we've been _telling you_!" Alejandro yelled in frustration.

"Well she is going to _pay_ for that," Sugar grumbled, diving underwater and coming back up a moment later with her apple on her head. With a grunt of effort, she easily headbutted it all the way to her waiting teammates, and Alejandro easily caught it.

"Come on, we have to make it to the finish line!" he called, slamming the apple down on Sammy and taking off at a run with Scarlett and an uncomfortable-looking Ella. Sugar joined them as they rounded the edge of the pond, and the background music deepened a moment before leveling out.

/

The scene flashed to an angel statue atop a fountain as Chris said "She's got a sister, y'know." The camera panned down to him and Chef sitting on the edge of the fountain's pool; in the background, a tallish brown-haired white boy in a blue hoodie and shorts walked by, staring at his hands in bewilderment. He looked up just long enough to notice the camera, then promptly forgot where he was walking, tripped over a barricade, and fell out of sight into a larger body of water in the background.

"For real?" Chef said, paying attention only to the host. "A'ight, give her my digits man."

"Oh, hold on," Chris interrupted as he looked off to the side, "here they come."

The challenge music briefly returned as the camera cut back to show Team Victory arriving first with Team Chris in a close second. The music wrapped up triumphantly as Team Universe came in a couple seconds later, and the boys of Team Victory whooped and cheered.

"Great, we _lost_!" Alejandro exclaimed in annoyance.

"And the winner of the New York challenge is," Chris announced as a drumroll began, "Teeeeeam _Victory_!"

A triumphant tune played as the shot zoomed in on the four boys cheering. Geoff shot a grin over at Bridgette, but it quickly turned sad as the camera panned to show her commiserating with Shawn over their loss.

'Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean, congrats on getting second place once again," the host told the other team of four, none of whom looked particularly excited about it.

"Aaaand Team Universe," Chris told the third team with a frown, "you're facing elimination again. Buuut," he donned an impish smile and raised a finger, "you won't have to go through with it, 'cause _this_ is _really_ a reward challenge!" He put his hands on his hips, then crossed them and smugly said "Psyche!"

Immediately, Scarlett wiped her brow in relief and Sugar cheered excitedly. Sammy and Ella also exchanged a happy smile, but as the camera panned to Alejandro the charmer frowned in annoyance and shook his head.

xxx

"Although losing because of Sugar would have been irritating," Alejandro explained in the restroom confessional, "at least I would have finally been able to get rid of _Scarlett_." He sighed. "Now, I must suffer in economy class without benefit."

xxx

/

The scene flashed to the jumbo jet flying through a flock of birds and scattering them, then into the elimination room where Team Victory was sitting.

"What did I tell you?" Scott whispered to a depressed-looking Geoff. "She was so into _zombie boy_ she didn't even notice you!"

"Aww, dude! I don't even wanna _think_ about that right now." Geoff replied. "Did I seriously let things between me and her get so _bad_?"

"Looks like it," Scott said with feigned sympathy as he pat the party boy on the back.

The camera abruptly zoomed out to show the whole room, Chris standing at his podium and the three giant apples lined up against the wall. "As the winners of this reward challenge," he told them as their team logo appeared on-screen, "Team Victory gets to keep or dump the prizes contained in the apples. So, have at it dudes!" He tossed the wooden mallet he was holding to Tyler, who missed the catch.

"Oww!" he said as it hit him in the eye. He picked the mallet back up, then grumpily walked over to the middle apples and whacked it hard. The side broke open, and a pile of smaller apples tumbled out. "Huh," he said blankly, "who woulda guessed they'd be filled with more apples?"

"At least they look pretty good," Ezekiel said.

"True that," Tyler said with a smile as he walked back to his team and handed the mallet to Geoff. "You take the next one, man. You need it the most."

"Thanks, man," Geoff said as he accepted the mallet and stood up. He gave the apple a neutral look as he walked over, then spun the mallet around and cracked the fruit open. The shot cut to his close-up as his brows shot up, and a grin formed on his face. "Candy?" he exclaimed as a pile of wrapped sweet cascaded from the broken apple. "Sweet!" He eagerly scooped up a hat full, then tossed a few pieces in his mouth and began to chew.

"Almost...," he said, sniffling and tearing up as he walked back to the bleachers, "almost as sweet as Bridge!"

"There there," Scott said, giving him a comforting hug and pat on the back. He snatched the mallet, then broke the hug and let Geoff sit down. Scott walked over to the last apple, raised the mallet over his head, and brought it down hard and vicious. It shattered into tiny pieces, and he raised an eyebrow as he bent down to pick up his unseen prize.

"A _meat grinder_?" he said skeptically, holding up the device, it's power cord and on/off switch marking it as being an electric one. "Cool!" he smiled. "Pappy always did say that ground meat was a luxury you shouldn't turn down."

"Looks like we're gonna be eatin' even better than usual, eh," Ezekiel said happily.

"Too bad I'm not _feeling_ better than usual," Geoff chimed in sadly as he tossed another handful of candy into his mouth.

"Will Geoff _ever_ reconnect with his lost love?" Chris asked the camera as the series' usual ending music began playing.

"Dude, he's like _right here_ ," Tyler said in shock, pointing to his teammate as the music briefly paused.

"Find out next time," the host continued with a renewed smile, "on Total!" the whole room was shown. "Drama!" the shot cut outside the plane. "World Tour!" the final shot cut even further away as the blaring music concluded.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

So, as in canon, this challenge ends in reward. I did it this way because, to be honest, I didn't want to figure out how to A) get the meat grinder into play in some other fashion, or B) fit both the reward and elimination into the same episode, which would have been really weird. So the challenge remains the same, but unlike canon the reward remains on the plane - what becomes of it you'll see next week, as I'll say now that the Alps is the next destination.

This week's song is merely a Shuffled version of 'What's Not To Love?'; even keeping the same melody getting the right words was a bit annoying. I think it does work, though, and in many ways can be thought of as something like a second half to the canon version. Admittedly I could have made something more different like I did with the first two episode's songs, but those had the luxury of being completed before the season began whereas this week's song did not, and I didn't want to rewrite everything from scratch. Plus the visual style for the canon song were pretty great, and I wanted to adapt them for this story.

A few things started here, and a few things continued - most notably Sierra becoming suspicious enough of Sugar and Scott to interfere with the former; and of course the fallout from Dawn's sudden departure. Things are getting interesting on that plane...

Oh, and by the way, that kid who was walking behind Chris and Chef in the fountain scene was a cameo requested by Animation Adventures, formerly known as Karts of Sugar Rush. I hope it wasn't too intrusive, though I'm not too certain whether or not I'll have other cameos in the future. Certainly not any time soon.

That aside, I'm eager to hear what you all think of this chapter and all its developments! The second quarter of the season has just begun, and I have a lot of things in store for you all.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)


	8. Chapter 8 - Slap Slap Revolution

**Author's Note**

Welcome back, dear readers! I hope you've all been looking forward to this week's chapter, it's a pretty good one in my eyes. So is next week's, and happily enough I was able to finish it last night so I'll have a Saturday to myself for the first time in a couple weeks.

In other news, The Ridonculous Race is ending it's penultimate week tonight - we're at the Final Six, and the premise of the episode that I read suggests it's gonna be a great one.

I'm probably gonna keep mentioning this from now on, so get used to it: The TVTropes pages for this series could always use more love and work! I greatly appreciate anyone who's able to contribute to it.

That aside, on to the (relatively low number of, considering how it's been the past few weeks) reviews!

 **lordkalel:** Thanks! I've been enjoying writing Scott and Sugar as a villainous duo, I think it suits them really well, and I'm glad people like what I've been doing with them.

 **Animation Adventures:** Thank you so much! Glad you're liking how the plots are developing. Regarding the deleted scene thing, I had actually completely forgot about it until you mentioned it as my copy of the episode is, I assume, the original version. I didn't even realize it was anything but crude joke that wouldn't work as-is for my purposes, so I repurposed it...and hey, I'm glad it ended up working out!

 **Glowing Insanity:** Yeah, I think keeping the melody was definitely a good idea, if only because it helps all you readers 'hear' the song better. It's not something I can, or should, overdo (though I have been doing it a lot lately), but I'm glad I've given myself that option. And as for Geoff and Bridgette...well, you'll see soon enough.

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** I'm glad you liked the chapter, though I'm afraid I do have a soft spot for Sugar myself. Though I will agree she didn't get proper comeuppance in canon.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** I'm glad you're liking my take on Sugar! And even more so that you've liked all my songs.

 **TaitanoRules555:** Thanks, I'll do my best to do so.

 **DSX62415:** Oh yes, it does certainly seem like Scott's made the smarter choice than Heather did in canon, even if he wasn't really thinking of the reward being useful in a later challenge. I'm glad I decided to have Scott keep it, it was fun to see how things played out with Team Victory having the electric grinder.

 **Solarr-Eclipse:** Honestly, seeing Geoff in TRR and writing him here hasn't been all that weird for me, even though the two hims are in pretty different situations. Maybe it's because he still has basically the same personality...I remember that writing Jo in TSA last season while I wrote a much more canon-like Jo in TDR at the same time was much weirder. As for Scott and Sugar being suspicious of Sierra being suspicious of them...well, I certainly haven't forgotten about it. Likewise for Dawn possible appearance in the sewers. Those aside, I'm glad you're liking Ella in this story! Surprisingly, working her into the story hasn't been all that difficult for me, probably because I've had so long to think about it.

 **Zak Saturday:** I'm glad to hear it! Hopefully you like what I do with it.

 **aloasa:** Yup, this episode is the Alps, meaning you'll get to see what becomes of the meat grinder. As for Dawn's 'cameo' being earlier than expected...well, there's a reason for that, more or less, which may or may not become apparent as times goes on.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks! I'm glad I was able to pull it off, Sierra especially seems like she would be great at figuring out how the others think and using that against them. It was a shame it was never really done in canon, but I blame her Cody fixation for that.

 **turn forever you and me:** Thanks! The truth of what Sammy saw down there is something I'll be keeping secret for now, and as for any TRR characters...well, as I've said before, the chances are low that I'll be doing a Shuffled version of that series, at least any time soon. Cameos are even less likely, to be honest, unless I decide to write a spin-off or something.

 **FOWLKON:** Oh, you'll see what I'm doing with Geoff and Bridgette sooner or later. And yeah, Sierra was the obvious choice to become suspicious of Scott and Sugar, since she's on the team being targeted the most. As for Ella maybe influencing Alejandro for the better...perhaps, perhaps not. Only time will tell for sure.

 **VIPGuest:** Thanks! And yeah, it does seem like more people like the shuffled versions of canon songs than my original ones, but it's not like that's gonna stop me from trying to write my own songs for the chapters that need them. And I'm not in the market for cameos right now, least of all from leprechauns.

 **ashDanLand:** Oh, I see, I understand what you mean now about your comment from the Aftermath review. And yeah, Scott and Sugar are definitely evil...and I haven't forgotten about Sugar's alliance with Scarlett, don't worry.

 **Bruno 14:** Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying the alliance between Scott and Sugar! And I'm not sure I'd say DJ is taking things worse than Sammy, more that he's taking things differently.

 **The Prime Writer:** Yup! Sugar's natural personality is, I think, what attracted me to her as a villain - she is both incredibly and genuinely positive and cheerful a lot of the time, but she's also more than willing to mess with people for her own gain. And when you're sued to dealing with more deceitful types like Alejandro, Scarlett, and even Scott, you wouldn't expect Sugar of all people to be the one to watch out for. I'm glad I've been able to capture that in the story. Glad you're looking forward to seeing more of Dawn, and as for what'll happen In London...well, you'll see when the story finally gets there.

 **ferguson97:** Uh, no? Why would you think Sammy's being stupid for listening to Alejandro and Scarlett's interpretations, she's basically feeling a mixture of grief and heartbreak over the sudden and unexplained departure of a loved one. And coupled with her own self-doubt that she's had for years (thanks to Amy), it's only natural that she'd be willing to listen to just about anyone, even if another part of her knows she shouldn't trust them. That aside...I am glad you liked how Sierra tricked Sugar.

 **Star Saber21:** Glad to see you're looking forward to seeing how the troubles between Geoff, Bridgette, Shawn, and Scott are gonna pan out. Likewise, I'm happy you enjoyed how Sierra tricked Sugar; it took some thinking to come up with, but I think it really fit both the characters and the series.

 **OMAC001:** Yeah, she's definitely catching on to the secret alliance. But as for the truth about Dawn...that'll come in due time.

 **I. M. Poik:** Haha, yup. And...well, I guess you're always just gonna be the toughest critic of my songs, hah. As for the elimination, and fate of the meat grinder, you're about to find out!

As always, here is the list of remaining contestants:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Tyler, Geoff

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Bridgette, Shawn, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

Get ready and be quiet, because the cast is about to enter avalanche territory. I hope you enjoy this week's episode!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 8 – Slap Slap Revolution**

"New York!" Chris opened to the series' introductory tune, the recap clips beginning with a shot panning up the Statue of Liberty. "The city that eats other cities for breakfast!" Shots were shown of the Brooklyn Bridge and the fountain they'd visited in Central Park, then the montage moved on to show Alejandro and Scarlett began climbing their team's steel wool rope. "Here our competitors went to new heights to discover New York's finest." Shawn was also shown, easily climbing past Sugar. "From the bosom of Lady Liberty," the statue was shown again, "to the Big Apple's rotten, stanky sewer core," and was followed up by a shot of Team Chris driving their motorboat through the sewers.

"In the end," a short clip from the previous episode's musical number showed the three vibrantly-colored teams racing their carriages together, "Team Victory claimed another victory, and surprise reward." Tyler, Geoff, and Scott were shown smashing open the giant apples, and claiming the prizes within. "Which meant _no one_ got booted off, not for lack of effort." A few shots in quick succession of Sugar, Scott, and even Sierra's sabotage throughout the previous episode finished off the recap, and the scene flashed to host and chef in the cockpit.

"We have lucky number _thirteen_ competitors still in the running," Chris told the camera before raising a finger and donning an attempted German accent. "Und ve shall zee who vill win ze one! Million! Bucks, zoon!" He resumed his regular voice to finish the bit. "On Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

As per usual, the episode began with a shot of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet in flight before cutting inside to the contestants seated in economy class – currently Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean on the right wall and Team Universe on the left, with Sugar noticeably absent.

"So, how are you two holding up?" Bridgette asked both DJ and Sammy, who immediately locked eyes across the aisle.

"I guess we're doin' okay," the gentle giant answered. "Of course, both of us would _love_ to finally get a clue or somethin' about what Dawn's up to, ain't that right?"

"Oh," Sammy said nervously, "yeah, totally."

xxx

"I haven't told DJ that I saw Dawn in the sewers back in New York yet," Sammy explained in the restroom confessional. "It's not that I don't want him to know, it's just that...I don't want _him_ to think I was seeing things too. It's bad enough that most of my teammates think that, I don't think I could handle my _boyfriend_ feeling the same way."

xxx

"I guess right now all we can do is remember that we still have each other," Sammy said, earning a smile from DJ.

"It truly is just _lovely_ to see you two sticking together," Ella told them. "Like they says, true love conquers all. Isn't that right, Alejandro?" she asked with a faint blush and a glimmer in her eyes.

"Perhaps," Alejandro answered coolly, "but as touching as their relationship is, I feel I must remind Sammy that this _is_ a competition, and she and DJ are on opposing sides. Team Universe _must_ stick together, regardless of any outside relationships."

"Umm," Sammy said uncertainly before a haughty laugh from Scarlett caught her attention.

"Perhaps, but that's only _truly_ important during challenges," the evil genius said with a slightly mocking smirk. "Outside of which, I see no reason why Sammy's romantic pursuits can't be allowed to continue, and even be encouraged. It will help with a _valuable_ team member's morale, after all."

xxx

"Before she went off to whatever corner of the plane she likes to do her alleged 'pageant practice' in," Scarlett explained in her own turn in the restroom confessional, "Sugar requested, essentially, that I begin acting more amicable towards Sammy in hopes that she'll align herself with us. A surprisingly logical suggestion from her, though _obviously_ I had already thought of it myself."

xxx

"That's...surprisingly nice of you, Scarlett," Sammy told the collared brainiac.

"Don't let them fool you, Sammy," Bridgette told her with a frown.

"Yeah, talkin' about teamwork might be nice and all," DJ added, "just don't forget who it's comin' from."

"Don't worry," the cheerleader reassured them as both villains rolled their eyes and looked away, "I can handle myself."

DJ was shown smiling happily, but Bridgette, Shawn, and Sierra exchanged a skeptical look before a flash took the scene away.

/

"And so ever since New York, Bridge hasn't said a word to me!" Geoff complained at the first class minibar, flanked on either side by Tyler and Ezekiel. "Man, I _knew_ I went too far cheerin' you on back there."

"Guess so," Tyler said blankly. "Getting blanked by your own girl is _rough_."

"I don't get how she could be _ignoring_ you, eh," Ezekiel spoke up. "Haven't you been hiding in first class the whole time since we took off?"

"Well, mostly," Geoff admitted, "but I _did_ see Bridgette in the halls once, and she didn't even look at me! Plus, Scott _totally_ said he heard her talking to Sierra about how mad she was!"

"Oh, I gotcha," Ezekiel nodded.

"Speaking of Scott, where is he?" Tyler asked, looking around the room in confusion. "He keeps disappearing on us."

"I don't know, dude," Geoff said, "but if he's really telling the truth, I'm _seriously_ gonna have to talk to Bridgette about it." Ezekiel and Tyler nodded their agreement.

/

The background music became tenser as the scene moved once more to the plane's vast cargo hold, where Scott and Sugar were sitting on a pair of crates.

"I'm still mad at that _Sierra_ fer trickin' me," Sugar grumbled, her arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "We can't let someone as crafty as her stick around. I say we go after her next."

"Good point," Scott considered, "never would've thought _she_ would be such a threat. Then again, we can't really just ignore the rest of her team either. Shawn's already proven he can win a season if everyone ignores him, and Bridgette too."

"Hrmm...," Sugar said, adopting a more thoughtful look. "And if we get rid of DJ, then that'll make gettin' _Sammy_ on my side easier. And then I can finally get rid of that darn _Ella_."

"Though if we're talking about messing with the others," Scott said hurriedly, "maybe we should go after Bridgette next. I know for _sure_ that Party Boy will freak if she goes home, and I bet Team Chris would fall apart without their goodie-goodie _mom_ around."

"Huh, I guess that make sense," Sugar admitted. "But that just means any one of 'ems a good target to eliminate next. Maybe we should just play it by ear, like we've been doin'?"

"We'll have to," Scott said, "unless Chris decides to tell us the challenge _before_ we get to wherever we're going next."

xxx

"Personally," Scott confessed in the restroom, "DJ is the only person I _don't_ wanna go after right now. If he leaves and Sugar gets Samey into an alliance, then she might decide she doesn't need _me_ anymore. And I still need a patsy to help carry out my plans."

xxx

A close-up of the season's world map showed the plane icon meandering its way over Europe, then the scene flashed back into the cabin were Alejandro was casually looking at the view outside the window.

"Interesting," he said aloud. "Those are the _Alps_ , if I'm not mistaken."

"Achtung, mein wiener schnitzel!" Chris called over the loudspeaker in his German accent, gaining the attention of Team Chris before the shot moved to the cockpit. "In preparation for landing, please unbuckle your seat belts and head to the cargo hold." As soon as his transmission ended, both he and Chef Hatchet snickered.

/

The footage skipped ahead to the whole cast assembled on top the cargo bay doors. "We'll be dropping in three," Scarlett said dryly.

"Two," Scott continued.

"One," Sierra finished, just as the doors opened up beneath and sent the thirteen teens fell into the open air. "Eeee! I got it right!" Sierra squealed happily, clapping as the others screamed around her and a tense, trilling tune played.

They all landed safely moments later, plunging one by one into a snowy landscape dotted with conifers. Shawn was the first shown to recover from the fall, but quickly looked up in shock as he heard screaming. He held out his arms, and was promptly landed – and forced back into the snowbank – by Bridgette.

"Thanks!" she told her teammate and friend. "And sorry, too."

"No problem," Shawn's muffled voice came from under her.

The camera briefly cut to Geoff narrowing his eyes and scowling, then over to another drift as Ella and Tyler popped up out of it. "Hey, are you alright?" the jock asked the singer.

"Yes, thank you," Ella said as she brushed the snow off herself. "Fortunately all the snow cushioned the fall."

"Haha, yeah," Tyler laughed, "guess it did. Snow's kinda cool like that, and, uh, not just because it's already cold."

"Oh, yes, I suppose it is fairly cool, isn't it?" Ella said after a moment. "Though I suppose the _cool_ thing to do now would be to help dig out our teammates," she added with a gesture back behind her.

"Oh yeah, totally," Tyler said. "I'll just be going then."

"Then goodbye!" Ella waved before trudging off through the snow, leaving Tyler to look down sadly.

The camera panned across the half-buried legs of Ezekiel and an annoyed-looking Scarlett before stopping on Sammy, who was pulling DJ out of the snow by his arm. She managed to unearth him, and they shared a sweet smile.

"Thanks!" the gentle giant said jovially. "For a moment I thought I was gonna be frozen _solid_ in there."

"Oh em gee, don't even _joke_ about that," Sammy told him with a frown. "Losing you like that would be worse than even Dawn's disappearance."

DJ winced. "Ooh, right, sorry. Wasn't thinkin' about that."

The couple's attention was drawn skyward by the sudden sound of a fan, and a stereotypical Bavarian tune began to play as the camera cut to Chris McLean paramotoring down towards them. "Guten tag, und willkommen in Deustchland!" he whispered down to them. "A.k.a., _Germany_ ," he added as he swooped past them; the music paused as the mountaintop rumbled ominously.

"We're in avalanche territory, _soooo_ , ya might wanna keep it down!" he added in another pass over the contestants.

"What?!" Sugar asked indignantly. "Speak up, I can't hear you!" She cupped her hands around her mouth, then began to repeat at the top of her lungs "I SAID, I CAN'T-" The mountaintop was shown rumbling again, and the shot cut back to Scarlett and Alejandro frantically covering her mouth.

"Welcome, to today's musical challenge!" Chris announced without missing a beat. The music note icon appeared in the corner of the screen with a muted ding, and he continued with "Avoid the _Song-alanche_! To avoid a potentially fatal tumble down the mountain," he explained while swooping a few more times down the snowy slope, "and a suck-tacular climb back up, ya better keep the singing nice and not loud!"

~/~

[The mountaintop was shown rumbling again as a Bavarian folk rendition of the first movement of Mozart's 'Eine kleine Nachtmusik' began to play. The scene cut to Scarlett, Sugar, and Ella as they opened up the song.]

" _Keep it down, or we'll be buried deep_!"

[Scarlett sang, hissing in a low but sharp voice at Sugar.]

" _Fine, I will, 'cause I don't wanna climb,_ it's steep!"

[The Pageant Queen responded, the final two words said out of line to complete the rhyme and loud enough for the evil genius to shush her for it.]

" _Steeper, upon the mountaintop, be careful of the drops_ ,"

[Ella sang next, taking dancing steps away from the two girls and pausing to look out over a sheer cliff.]

" _You know your singing is the best part of this game_!"

[Tyler sang, walking up behind her with a grin on his face.]

" _It's really true she's a credit to her team_!"

[Alejandro replied, quickly stepping between the jock and the singer, giving the boy a sharp look that Ella didn't catch.]

" _Bridgette, sorry for my words before but I don't like you spending time with Shawn, Shawn, Shawn_!"

[The shot cut to a close-up of Geoff's face as he sang next, drawing out his girlfriend's name and narrowing his eyes further and further each time he repeated the survivalist's name. The camera also pulled back and rotated to show a shocked Bridgette in front of him and a nervous and uncomfortable-looking Shawn further past her.]

" _What's that s'posed to mean? He's on my team, I can't just act like he's already go~one_!"

[Was Bridgette's angry reply, putting her fists on her hips and leaning towards her boyfriend as she repeated the same melody he'd put his words to. Then she leaned back and said "Seriously, what's your deal?" to which Geoff just pouted and looked away.]

[The scene cut to DJ and Sammy, briefly showing the cheerleader shooting a nervous look off-screen while her boyfriend occupied himself by peering down the mountain.]

" _Hey, do you see that over there? With the long, flowing hair_?"

[He sang to ask his girlfriend, the camera following his point off-screen and zooming in on a faint but familiar silhouette next to a faraway tree.]

" _Not really, where? The slope looks bare!_ "

[Sammy replied as the scene cut back to her with her hand to her brow trying to spot what DJ had.]

" _Not seeing things, I swear! It's her, I know it and I'm not just gonna stare_!"

[DJ sang determinedly, briefly putting his hands on his hips. He stopped singing, but the music continued as he began to take a deep breath. "Wait, DJ, no! Don't do it!" Sammy told him in a panicked hurry, tugging on his arm and glancing nervously back up the mountain.]

[Scott, Ezekiel, and Sierra were shown looking over with wide, fearful eyes as both the music and DJ's breath continued, and Bridgette and Geoff broke their mutual glare to do the same.]

[At last, the gentle giant cupped his hands to his mouth and yelled out down the snow-covered mountain. "HEEEEY DAAAAWN!"]

~/~

The effect was immediate – the mountain began to rumble, and a sheet of snow on top slid off as a high-pitched and tense tune replaced the previous music. Scarlett, Sugar, and Alejandro were shown screaming in terror as the avalanche engulfed them, and several others were shown getting carried down the slope against their will – Shawn clinging to a terrified deer; Scott tumbling on top the snow; Sierra already half-buried with only her arms sticking out; and DJ and Sammy were clutching each other and screaming as they drifted along. The snow eventually covered them all.

Chris was shown laughing in close-up, the camera quickly zooming out to show him swooping over the jumbled pile of contestant and snow that had accumulated at the foot of the mountain. "Awesome!" he told them as they groaned.

xxx

"Okay, first of all," Shawn opened his restroom confessional, "I can't believe that DJ nearly _killed us_! Did he already forget that we're in _avalanche_ territory?! This whole _Dawn_ thing is _seriously_ making him lose focus."

He paused, then scratched the back of his head as a troubled expression formed on his face. "But more importantly, what's up with Geoff? I thought we were friends, but now he doesn't want Bridgette around me? _Why_? I mean, I'd understand if it were for zombie-related safety reasons, but that's not something he's ever cared about so I'm kinda _lost_ about his motivations."

xxx

The footage cut back to various contestants climbing up the snowy slope, and the camera focused in on the four members of Team Chris.

"Sorry, guys, I just really thought I saw Dawn out there," DJ explained, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "I couldn't help it."

"Don't worry, we understand," Sierra told him before looking at their other teammates – Shawn was looking fairly annoyed, but Bridgette looked more distracted than anything else. "Haha," Sierra laughed nervously, "well, _I_ do at least. I have trouble controlling myself when I see someone I really, really like too."

"Thanks," DJ smiled. "I'll try to keep myself under control from here on out."

The background music took a low and rumbling turn as the shot panned to Sugar, already looking exhausted as she hiked back up through the snow. "This mountain's too steep, just like I sang about," she groaned. "Can't we stop for lunch or somethin'?"

"I doubt it," Scarlett said, the camera pulling back to show her walking a little bit ahead of the Pageant Queen. "Although I do smell something unexpectedly _spicy_ given our current location." The two girls shared a curious look, then increased their pace up the slope.

Sugar gasped in joy as they reached the top, and with a short drumroll Chris was shown standing next to a large pile of what looked like meat and an even larger machine crank. He was wearing a warm leather jacket, a Tyrolean hat, and his usual smug smile.

"We _are_ havin' lunch!" Sugar declared excitedly before rushing towards the meat pile, only to be held back by Scarlett.

"Stop, you ravenous oaf!" she yelled. "That meat is _raw_ , you'll make yourself sick!"

"Wow, Scarlett, who knew you _actually_ cared," Chris said mockingly, enough for the evil genius to scowl and release her hold on Sugar, the larger girl immediately falling face-first into the snow. "Anyway," the host continued as the rest of the cast arrived, "don't think of this as raw meat – think of it as raw _building materials_. Over fifteen hundred species of sausage call Germany home, hence the theme of our most efficient challenge yet!"

"SHUT UP UND STUFF IT!" Chef Hatchet yelled in a German accent, popping out from behind the meat pile as the jovial Bavarian tune played again.

"Danke, Chef," Chris said before walking away. "Each team must make a _giant_ German sausage by shoveling meat into the grinder," he explained as the camera zoomed out to reveal the machine crank was in fact a giant meat grinder with a translucent sausage casing already attached; two other grinders and meat piles were stationed nearby, "push it down and grind the mixture out into an oversized sausage casing," he added as he reached and then pointed out the casing. " _All_ without losing a finger or toe."

" _Sausages_?!" Bridgette repeated in queasy disbelief. "This is disgusting! And not just because I'm a vegetarian, either!"

"Count yourselves lucky you're not makin' hot dogs," Chris told her. "No beaks, hooves, or _butts_ in this meat pile." The shot cut to DJ as his cheeks bulged, and he leaned over to vomit just behind Alejandro. "You'll have to shovel fast," the host continued, "or risk getting stuck with an incomplete sausage. _Which_ will be a lot harder to ride down the hill."

An idyllic snowy slope was shown, clear of rocks and with a lovely rainbow arcing between mountains in the distance. "Uhh, no, not that hill," Chris said as a light angelic chorus played over the first shot. The shot quick-panned rightward to a darker slope littered with rocky outcroppings and overturned trees. "Thaaaat's the spot," Chris said over an eerie and ominous tune that was punctuated by a sudden bolt of lightning that struck a spot of bare snow.

"Of course," he added as the camera panned over the shocked and gaping faces of the contestants with only Scott looking pleased, "if you had a shiny new _electric_ meat grinder, just plug her into our portable generator and _voila_! Sausage stuffed in seconds!"

"Step aside!" Scott declared, pushing through DJ and Sammy to proudly strut forward. "Lucky me that I happened to bring the _reward_ Team Victory won in New York," he said smugly, taking the electric meat grinder out from behind his back. The angelic chorus played again as the camera zoomed in on the device, which was temporarily surrounded by a shining golden aura.

"Aww, what? That's not fair!" Alejandro complained. "How come they get an advantage _this_ time for winning _last_ time?"

"Well it wouldn't be a _reward_ if it weren't _rewarding_ , now would it?" Chris told him.

"He's got you there," Scott said with a mocking grin as Alejandro crossed his arms and scowled.

"Umm, speaking of _reward_ ," Ella said, turning an anxious look from her teammate to the host, "I don't suppose we'll be getting one for our sausage-making skills, will we?"

"Oh, there will be prizes for those who make it down the hill alive," Chris answered with a broad grin. "And, there will be _punishment_ for one sorry loser on the last-place team. Behold," he turned and motioned off-screen, "der _penaltyhosen_!" The shot cut to Chef Hatchet, who was holding a small-sized Bavarian tracht, including lederhosen. He was also holding onto an alphorn, which he promptly blew.

"Go, go, go!" Chris said, raising his arms as tense challenge music began to play.

The camera zoomed out enough to show the teams arriving at their grinders – Team Universe at the leftmost one; Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean at the one in the back, and Team Victory at the one in front – though Scott kept running towards Chris, the electric grinder in hand.

"Alright, where's the generator?" he asked the host.

"Right over there," Chris answered, the camera following his sideways point to show Chef leaning against a boxy generator mounted on a wheeled cart. "Just plug it in and Chef'll start it up."

"Cool," Scott said. He walked over, then held up the electric grinder's small cord. He looked back over his shoulder, the camera showing the rest of his team and their meat pile a good ways away, then asked Chef "Got any extension cords I can use?"

"Nope," Chef answered gruffly.

"Then are you gonna move this thing closer?" Scott followed up.

"Nope," Chef repeated.

"Great," Scott groaned as he palmed his face. "Hey guys," he turned around and shouted, "grab the shovels and the casing, we gotta stuff it _here_!" Ezekiel, Tyler, and Geoff's groans were heard from off-screen.

/

The scene flashed to Team Chris as Bridgette cringed at the sight of the meat pile then fell to her knees and threw up.

"Well I guess Bridgette's not gonna being doing much right now," Shawn sighed. "Alright, DJ, you scoop." The brickhouse nodded and picked up a shovel. "Sierra, you stuff."

"On it," the fan girl said, already standing by at the casing.

"And leave the grinding to me," Shawn finished, pushing up his sleeves and grabbing the crank. DJ was shown tossing a shovel of meat right into the top of the grinder; Shawn turned the crank; and Sierra watched it carefully as it oozed out into the casing.

"Ooh, neat!" she giggled.

The camera panned over to Team Universe, where Alejandro had climbed on top the grinder with a shovel. "Scarlett, shovel the meat up here so I can pack it in. Sugar, we need your strength on the grinder. Ella, Sammy, stuff that casing. Everyone understand?"

"Yes, Alejandro!" Ella said, happily taking her place alongside Sammy.

"I guess," Sugar said as she grabbed the crank.

"Why am _I_ the one shoveling?" Scarlett asked in annoyance.

"Because _I_ need to be up here making sure the meat goes into the grinder," Alejandro replied. "Unless _you'd_ like to risk losing a finger to the machine?"

He was answered by a shovelful of raw meat hitting him in the face. "On second thought, I _retract_ my previous objection," Scarlett said with an evil smirk.

/

"Alright, I think we got this," DJ said confidently as he was shown scooping and Sierra was shown holding on to the partially-filled casing.

"Oh, definitely," Shawn said, grunting slightly with effort as he turned the crank. "Still, I think we could be going faster. Bridgette," he turned to the surfer, the camera angle changing to a frontal shot of her looking down sadly with her back to the grinder, "I know you don't like the meat, but could you at least help me grind?"

Bridgette bit her lip uncertainly, and turned to look to her right – the camera focused on Geoff who was busy running through the snow with a shovelful of meat; their eyes briefly met, but he immediately frowned and looked away. Bridgette's eyes narrowed, then shut as she spun around and walked to her team. "Yeah, I...I can do that," she said, taking a spot next to Shawn and giving him a smile as she started to help him crank.

/

"Uggh, this is _disgusting_ ," Alejandro muttered under his breath as he stomped on the meat packed into the top of the grinder.

"Keep it coming, Alejandro!" Sammy called up to him. "I know it must be hard with your weak stomach and all, but it's just raw meat! You don't have to eat it, and it'll wash right off!"

Alejandro blushed and sputtered in a sudden fluster, and the shot cut to Ella who now looked concerned. "Oh my, I didn't know you had a weak stomach, Alejandro," she told her teammate, who groaned in embarrassment. "Oh, but it's quite _brave_ of you to volunteer to stuff the meat for us!" Ella added with a reassuring smile that only seemed to embarrass Alejandro even further.

/

"C'mon, dudes, we gotta _move_!" Geoff said as he dumped a shovelful of raw meat onto the pile on the ground.

"I know, I know!" Scott said as he hurriedly scooped handfuls of the meat into his electric grinder which instantly whirred and spat it into the casing that Tyler was holding open. "This thing can only handle so much at a time!"

Geoff ran off, and Ezekiel arrived with the next shovelful which he promptly dumped into the pile. "Yo, maybe usin' that thing was a bad idea," he said as he caught his breath.

"Well it's too late to stop _now_ ," Scott told him, eyes still locked on the grinder he was scooping meat into. "We'll just get further behind if we switch back to the big one!"

"I know, eh," Ezekiel said with a frown. "Just thought I'd speak my mind a little."

"If you've got time to do _that_ , then use it to haul the meat!" Scott told him irately, giving him an angry look that caused Ezekiel to immediately run off with his shovel.

/

The footage skipped ahead to a zoomed-out shot showing all three teams hard at work, their respective logos appearing above them on-screen. Both Team Universe and Team Chris has sausages that were nearly full, while despite their alleged advantage Team Victory's casing had only been stuffed to about two-thirds the level of their rivals. DJ had gotten on top of his team's grinder to shovel the last small pile of meat they had; similarly, Scarlett had joined Alejandro for Team Universe while Sammy had moved from casing duty to cranking duty with Sugar. Team Victory, of course, only had Scott and Tyler doing any real work as Geoff and Ezekiel had already moved over their meat pile.

"I hate to say it," the homeschooler said, "but I think we might lose this one, eh. The other teams are really workin' well together despite havin' the worse grinders."

"Just look at them," Geoff said bitterly, glaring over at Bridgette and Shawn who were shown working the crank together. " _I_ should be the one grinding meat alongside her, not _him_!"

"You'd have to be on the same team for that, I think," Ezekiel told him. "But since ya aren't, I guess there's nothin' you can do other than accept that she's gotta spend a lotta time with her teammates."

"I guess...," Geoff said sadly. "I just want her to spend more time with _me_. Is that so bad?"

"Err, I don't think so?" Ezekiel said uncertainly. "But maybe the only reason you two haven't been spendin' a lotta time together is because we're always stayin' in different classes on the plane."

Geoff's brow raised in surprise at the idea, but Scott quickly said "Or _maybe_ it's because she doesn't _want_ to hang out with you anymore." The party boy's glower returned, and Ezekiel raised a puzzled eyebrow at Scott.

"Done!" The boys of Team Victory were snapped out of their discussion by Alejandro's sudden declaration, and looked over to see Team Universe standing proudly with their fully stuffed sausage.

/

"All aboard the sausage train!" Sugar cheered, riding the oversized sausage with Sammy in front of her and Scarlett and Ella behind. Alejandro was pushing it up to the edge of the slope, and hopped on when it teetered just past a metal flagpost.

"I hope everyone's holding on tight," Sammy said as their five-person sausage sled tipped forward, "'cause this is gonna be rough!" Her voice rose into a scream on the last word as Team Universe began their rapid descent.

Team Chris arrived next, Shawn and Bridgette and Sierra already riding the meat while DJ pushed. The three onboard looked nervous but excited, and as soon as DJ got on and the sausage sped off, they whooped and hollered in the thrill of it.

"Forgot to mention," Chris called down, the camera looking up from below the drop, "watch out for the rabid mountain goats! They're _super_ deadly!" He chuckled, then told the camera "We brought 'em in _special_."

/

The scene flashed back to earlier footage showing Chef Hatchet kneeling on top of a metal crate, a nervous and fearful look on his face as he grabbed the lip of the crate's side cover. A mountain goat watched with annoyed disinterest nearby, and curiously a yellow triangle-shaped warning sticker on the crate's side showed a silhouette of a much younger goat.

A playful tune played as Chef stood, pulling up the side cover and releasing an adorable goat kid out onto the snowy mountainside. It hopped towards the larger wild goat and bleated cutely, to which the older beast growled a reply.

The baby goat then unleashed a truly savage roar, revealing a mouth filled with dangerously sharp teeth. The older goat looked taken aback, and the shot cut away in discretion as Chef Hatchet cringed and looked away from the sounds of crunching bones that were coming from off-screen.

The shot cut back to the young goat as it happily slurped up a goat leg, then bared its sharp teeth and leaped away.

/

Tense and fast-paced music began to play as the scene seamlessly transitioned back to the challenge, showing Team Universe and Team Chris about neck-and-neck on their sausages. The shot cut to the goat kid standing in their path; it roared ferociously, then jumped at them. The two teams were shown screaming, and the goat was shown jumping straight at the camera with its mouth wide open.

"Duck!" Shawn cried, hunching down and putting his arms over his head. Bridgette, Sierra, and DJ quickly complied, and the baby goat sailed right over them. It closed its mouth mid-air and looked backwards in confusion, then smacked into the side of a rocky outcropping. It fell to the snow in a daze, and the shot cut back to the bewildered faces of Team Chris.

"Well that was easy," Sierra commented.

/

"Move! Move! Move!" Tyler chanted as her and Geoff quickly pushed Team Victory's finished sausage to the starting line, Scott and Ezekiel already riding it.

"Cowabunga, dudes!" Geoff cheered as he and Tyler jumped on and the meat-sled tipped forward and began its descent.

"Lean forward, eh!" Ezekiel said as the camera tracked their speedy progress. "We gotta catch up with the other teams!" The four boys did so, narrowing their eyes and leaning forward and speeding up soon after.

"Wait a minute," Scott said, his eyes going wide, "is that a _goat_?"

The shot cut to the baby goat trudging through the snow towards them with a menacing look on its face. "Get out of the way!" Tyler yelled at it, but instead the kid roared and leaped – but not as high as it had when it attacked Team Chris, causing it to land on the front of Team Victory's sausage.

"What the-" Ezekiel said in shock and confusion before the ravenous mountain goat tore into the sausage, biting rapidly and disappearing into the meat filled casing. "Yo, this isn't good!  
Ezekiel said as their ride began to squirm.

The camera panned to the other end of the sausage, where Tyler was looking down with dread on his face. The goat, now covered in meat and bulging in satisfaction, popped out the other end of the sausage and tumbled away. "Aww man, seriously?!" Tyler exclaimed as the sausage started leaking, then suddenly collapsed entirely and sent the four boys tumbling forward end-over-end.

/

The scene cut back to Team Universe, where Alejandro had gotten hold of a long branch and was using it as a rudder to steer their sausage around rocks.

"Great steering, Alejandro!" Ella complimented.

"Thank you," he replied, "but it is no big deal."

"Would you quit _flirting_?" Scarlett snipped. "The other teams might catch up to us!"

"I doubt that," Alejandro said bluntly with a point ahead of them, "seeing as we're already at the finish line."

The focus cut to a zoomed-out shot of the finish line at the bottom of the hill as Team Universe slid past the banner; Team Chris followed about a yard behind them. After that was a tiny piece of sausage, then the screaming snow-packed ball that Team Victory had become which crashed into something off-screen.

/

The members of Team Victory were shown groaning in the remains of the snowball, now next to a wooden platform. The camera pulled back, showing not only the other two teams in similar situations, but that the platform was a stage where Chris and Chef waited along with four pairs of what looked like dancing game mats.

"Congrats on arriving first, Team Universe," the host told the five. "Too bad about that landing, though. I would've used someone as a brakepad but hey, your call." The members of Team Universe gave him glares of various strengths.

"On to part zwei of today's challenge," Chris continued. "Competitors must learn, and _perform_ , a traditional German dance on this very platform. The mats are rigged to deliver a _hilarious_ and painful jolt _every_ time one of you missteps," he briefly motioned to his foot, "or, I need a laugh. Last team standing wins."

"And what about the _reward_ you promised?" Sammy asked.

"Patience, mein flower," Chris told her. "Team Universe," he declared, turning to Chef who was holding an armful of pickelhauben, "first to arrive, first to get their reward." Chef tossed the helmets to the five, and only Alejandro and Sugar didn't immediately sag under the weight.

"Oh my," Ella said, "these are _quite_ heavy."

"Yes they are," Chris said happily. "Team Chris is Really Really Really Mean," he said next, the camera cutting to the four as they were tossed ushankas.

"Ooh, neat!" Sierra said excitedly, putting the furry hat on and admiring the ear flaps.

"And, in _last_ place, Team Victory," the host said next, the four boys getting tossed Tyrolean hats similar to what Chris was wearing.

"Gonna be _weird_ trading out my lucky hat for this thing," Geoff said as he hesitantly replaced his cowboy hat.

"You got that right," Ezekiel chimed in, also removing his trademark headwear.

"Now, we need eight people for this," Chris explained, "so two of the teams are gonna have three people dance and the rest sit out. And Team Universe, you're one of 'em."

Alejandro and Sammy immediately stepped forward, but Ella was stopped from joining them by Sugar. "Nuh-uh, missy, _I'm_ gonna be doin' the dancin', so step aside!"

"Oh, certainly Sugar!" the singer said happily, smiling nervously under the suspicious look Sugar was giving her.

"Alright then," Chris said, "the other team with three dancers will be...Team _Victory_."

The boys shared a look, and Ezekiel spoke up. "Uh, I don't really know how to dance, eh, so maybe I should sit this one out."

"No prob, man," Tyler told him, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "We got this." He, Geoff, and Scott stepped forward.

"And as for Team Chris is Really Really Really Mean," the host told the other group of four, "two dance, two sit out."

"Guess it's me and DJ, huh?" Sierra asked her teammates as she stepped forward.

"I dunno, I'm gettin' a bad feelin' about this," DJ said nervously.

"That's fine," Bridgette whispered, her hand on his arm but her eyes on her boyfriend, "I'll do it. This might be my chance to ask Geoff what's up with him."

"Thanks," DJ smiled as the surfer stepped forward.

"Cool," Chris said. "Now which member of the losing team must wear," he started slipping back into his German accent as the shot cut to Chef, "der _penaltyhosen_?" Chef held up the costume, and the jovial Bavarian tune played again as the eyes of Team Victory went wide.

xxx

"It's not like I _wanted_ to wear it," Geoff coolly admitted in the restroom confessional, "I just thought that maybe it would impress Bridgette."

xxx

" _I'll_ do it," Geoff declared bravely, stepping forward and earning a gasp from his teammates.

"Whoa, dude!" Tyler said in awe.

"Are you sure?" Scott asked in a skeptical tone. "That thing's like a German _bikini_!"

"I know what I'm doing, dudes," Geoff said determinedly. "And that's putting on some embarrassingly tight hosen."

"Haha, awesome bro," Chris laughed. "I was gonna make Tyler wear 'em, but after that I'm changin' my mind. Congratulations." Geoff gave him a blank look that quickly changed to dread as the penaltyhosen landed on his head.

/

The footage skipped ahead, showing everyone in place with Chef standing nearby just off the raised stage. Sierra and Bridgette were on the leftmost pair of pads while Scott and Sugar stood on the rightmost; Sammy and Alejandro were on the back-left pads, and Geoff and Tyler were on the back-right.

"How are the hosen?" Tyler whispered in concern to his teammate.

" _Way_ too tight," Geoff answered, trying to pull down on the short legs. "This wedgie is _killing_ me!"

The two were interrupted by the end of an alphorn blowing right next to them, the camera cutting to Chef who was holding the instrument. "That's German for _shu~uut up!_ " he told them before tossing the alphorn over his shoulder. "Follow my lead and nobody gets hurt," he added, "yet."

A snazzy drumbeat opened the next piece of music, several brass instruments joining in after a few seconds. "Right knee up, left arm swings," he commanded to the melody, demonstrating the motions as he called them out. "Stomp, hop, slap your thighs. Kick your butt, jump and clap."

xxx

"My grandparents are German," Sierra confessed in the restroom, giggling and calling a quick "Schnitzel!" to the camera. "So I'm like a tenth generation slap dancer! It's what kept me alive on the school playground, and probably why I didn't make any friends," she said with a thoughtful look. She shrugged, then happily said "But who cares? I have all my _Total Drama_ friends now!"

xxx

The footage resumed with a close-up of the leftmost dance mat as the music restarted itself, and Sierra jumped down excitedly. The camera pulled back to show her bobbing up and down excitedly while Bridgette watched with a cautious but amused look on her face.

"One two three, slap my knee," Sierra sang, slapping her knee and turning around, "we're on TV, so I'll dance with glee," she continued, a smile forming on Bridgette's face as she began to bob in time with the music as well.

"Four five six," Sierra continued, the camera focusing on her butt as she put her hands on it, "pick up sticks," the shot cut back outward as she leaned back and raised her left knee, "we're an awesome mix that won't fall for their tricks!" Her line earned an odd look exchanged between Scott and Sugar.

"Seven eight nine," she leaned towards the camera, "straighten your spine," she leaned back again, the camera showing Sammy, Alejandro, Geoff, and Tyler watching in amused confusion. "They think they're so sneaky with their secret align," Sierra sang to the camera.

"Ten eleven twelve, nothing rhymes with twelve," she sang, bending down then singing at the camera positioned between her legs. "Don't think you're gonna win is 'cause this one's _mine_!" she finished with a confident declaration, sweeping a pointed finger across the other teams.

/

The footage skipped forward slightly, now showing both Sierra and Bridgette going through the motions of the dance.

"So what exactly were you singing about?" Bridgette whispered to her teammate.

"Huh?" Sierra answered with a moment's blank stare before realization came to her. "Oh! Well, when I get into the groove like that, I tend to just sing about whatever's on my mind."

"You've been thinking about a secret alliance that's been trying to trick us?" Bridgette asked in mild alarm.

"Kinda," Sierra said, casting a suspicious glance around before leaning in slightly towards her teammate. "Scott and Sugar have been acting _totally_ suspicious lately. And I wasn't sure at first, but I'm starting to think they might be working together!"

"... _really_?" Bridgette asked skeptically. "I mean, don't get me wrong I wouldn't put it past Scott to do something like that, but I don't see Sugar doing the same. She's not exactly, umm, _subtle_."

"I think she might be craftier than we realize," Sierra said. "I did some research between seasons, and not only has she _actually_ won a bunch of beauty pageants, but some of those wins were kinda _sketchy_."

"Sorry," Bridgette shook her head, "but I still just can't see it." Sierra sighed in annoyance.

/

The scene flashed over to Scott and Sugar, also having a hushed conversation while they went through the motions of the dance.

"I think we need to get rid of _Sierra_ next," Sugar hissed. "You heard her song, she's onto us!"

"I know," Scott replied, "but if we go after her _now_ it might just make her teammates _more_ suspicious of us!"

"Then what are we s'posed to _do_?" Sugar asked.

"Lay low for now, and don't do anything _obvious_ ," Scott told her. "Maybe if we're lucky, we can get somebody to mess up without trying."

/

Another flash took the focus to Sammy and Alejandro.

"You're doing quite well," the charmer told his teammate as they danced. "I'm glad you volunteered to do this."

"Thanks," Sammy said, "but if you're trying to get me into an alliance, I'm not sure I really want one with you right now."

"I understand," Alejandro said sadly. "I haven't given you much reason to trust me, after all. But still, with Dawn's departure you'll have to pick a side _eventually_. I'm fairly certain Scarlett's already roped _Sugar_ into an alliance, and between them and myself I hope you'll go with the side that's only a _strategic_ threat."

"That's...a good point," Sammy said anxiously, causing Alejandro to smile.

/

"So what're you gonna do if you go up against Bridgette?" Tyler asked Geoff as the scene flashed over to them.

"I guess I'll just ask her what's going on, once and for all," Geoff answered. "And if she really _does_ wanna leave me for Shawn or something, then I guess I'll find some way to win her heart again."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Tyler told him. "I'm gonna try to win Ella's heart myself. I bet once she sees my awesome dance moves, she'll fall for me big time."

"Good luck with that, bro," Geoff said.

"Thanks, guy," Tyler replied, "you too." They bumped fists and smiled, then were suddenly electrocuted.

"Hahaha!" Chris laughed as the camera cut to him. "Looks like it works," he said, looking fondly at the remote control in his hand. "But just to be _sure_..." He pressed the button again, and the camera zoomed out to show all eight dancers getting shocked at the same time. "It's _challenge time_!" he declared.

Bridgette, Scott, and Sammy were shown stumbling around the stage in literal shock, and Tyler said "Jeez, I'm starting to feel like a sausage that's been overcooked," before getting zapped again and falling over.

"Last person standing on the platform wins the challenge for their team," Chris told them before the camera cut in close and he whispered "This is gonna be fun!"

The shot zoomed back out as Chef Hatchet pressed another switch, which caused hydraulic pistons to extend and raise the dance mats high into the air with the contestants already on them. Scott and Bridgette were on the far left mats, while Geoff and Sugar were on the far right. Alejandro faced off against Tyler on the back-left, and Sierra and Sammy squared off on the back-right to round things out.

The music started up again, and the contestants stared at their mats in shock for a second before beginning.

Geoff and Sugar were shown first, the pageant queen aggressively trying to smack and slap and kick at her opponent, and Geoff frantically trying to both defend and get a few hits of his own in. The shot zoomed out again, showing that all four pairs were slapping each other and several were complaining about it.

Tyler made a misstep and was shocked for it, causing Alejandro to laugh as well as Chris and Chef. Bridgette also moved wrong, causing Scott to roll his eyes while she was being electrocuted. When she recovered, though, she frowned and slapped him harder. He paused for a split-second then stumbled backward slightly, giving the surfer an opening to slap him again – he pinwheeled his arms comically, but made no other move to stay on the platform and soon landed on his butt in the snow.

Alejandro and Tyler's duel was shown again, the two boys narrowing their eyes at one another and raising their hands to strike once more. Both boys glanced to the side, and for a moment Ella was shown watching with concern on her face. Alejandro and Tyler looked back at each other, and Tyler was the first to strike. Alejandro dodged it, grinned confidently as the jock's overexertion caused him to spin around, then slapped him clear off the platform. He landed face-first in the snow, twitching and groaning in pain.

Sierra and Sammy were shown watching the boys from their own mats, but Sierra broke her gaze first to give her opponent a vicious grin. "Oh no...," Sammy said in dread the moment she noticed Sierra's look, and the background music took a sharp turn as the tenth generation slap-dancer launched a barrage of slaps and knees that Sammy failed to block. Sierra finished it off with a flying kick to the cheerleader's stomach, sending her hurtling off into the snow.

"Sammy!" DJ cried out in concern from off-screen as Sierra seemed to realize what she'd done and smiled sheepishly.

Meanwhile, as the music returned to normal Geoff and Sugar were still battling furiously with neither dancer gaining a clear upperhand. The shot pulled back to show Bridgette, Alejandro, and Sierra watching from the other raised mats, then the camera cut to Scott scowling in the snow. He glared straight at his secret ally and made a short but sharp downward motion with one of his hands, repeating it until it finally caught Sugar's eye. She raised an eye in confusion for a brief moment, just enough for her to miss a step and get shocked. Geoff took advantage quickly, slapping her as soon as the electricity stopped. It was enough to finally send her falling backwards off the mat, after a second of annoyed wobbling at least.

/

The footage skipped ahead a few minutes to show the dance mats rising for the second round – Alejandro versus Sierra on the right; and Geoff versus Bridgette on the left, the two semi-estranged lovebirds already blushing. Their teammates were briefly shown watching silently from the sidelines, but the camera quickly focused on the two blondes.

"So, are you finally gonna explain what's been up with you?" Bridgette asked unamusedly. "I'll accept your apology for what you said in New York, but what do you have against _Shawn_ all of a sudden?"

"You know why," Geoff said bitterly, beginning the dance as the music started up again. "I've seen the way you two act together, and I _know_ you two go off alone all the time. I can put two an' two together, y'know."

"Geoff, the only reason I go off with Shawn all the time is to help him check the plane for anything _dangerous_ ," Bridgette explained while dancing.

"Mostly zombies," the survivalist piped up from off-screen.

"Including those, yes," the surfer said. "And also because sitting in one place all the time gets kinda boring after awhile, especially in _economy class_."

"W-well," Geoff sputtered, "why didn't you ever spend any time with _me_ , huh?"

"Because we've been staying in different classes ever since _Egypt_ ," Bridgette told him. "And the few times I've _tried_ to talk to you, either Lightning or Scott got in the way!"

Geoff stopped dancing, shock and confusion on his face. "Okay, Lightning I understand, but _Scott_ got in your way too? Dude _knows_ how much I've been wanting to talk to you. Heck, he's the one who...!" He stopped again in realization, face blankly stupefied as he continued the dance.

"Let me guess," Bridgette said dryly, " _he's_ the one who said I was cheating on you with Shawn?"

"Aww, man!" Geoff said, slapping his face. "I totally let him get to me, even though I _knew_ how bogus it was!" He turned towards his teammate, who was shown looking sheepish, and angrily said, "You're in _big_ trouble, dude!"

"H-honest mistake?" Scott told them with an anxious grin.

"Pfft, whatever," Geoff said, turning his attention back to his girlfriend. "So...we cool then? You're not, like, interested in other guys?"

Bridgette giggled and put her arms around him. "How could I when you're around? Though I _am_ sorry we haven't been able to spend time together."

"Aww, I love you babe," Geoff said, pulling her close.

"I love you too, mister," Bridgette replied as they began to make-out on top the dance mats.

The camera cut to Alejandro and Sierra, who were paused in mid-grapple – Sierra had Alejandro in a headlock, while he in turn had his left hand pushing against the side of her head and his right leg wrapped around her left.

"Aww," Sierra cooed as she watched the touching scene just off-camera, "I _love_ happy endings!"

"Well _I_ love distracted opponents," Alejandro countered, quickly releasing his leg, putting his hands on her stomach, and shoving her off her mat before she could react.

"Oof!" Sierra winced as she landed in the snow on her butt.

"Wait," Bridgette said, breaking her kiss as the shot quick-panned back to her and Geoff, "did Sierra just-whoa!" As she tried to break away from her amorous boyfriend, she took a blind step backwards – and right off the mat. She promptly fell, dragging Geoff down into the snow with her.

"And Team Universe wins!" Chris wasted no time in announcing, the shot from the two groaning blondes to the grinning young man still on his dance mat.

xxx

"I don't know _what_ that dirt farmer intended to do with his attempt to break up Geoff and Bridgette," Alejandro told the restroom camera with a mocking smile, "but I _am_ grateful for the free win he's given me."

xxx

A triumphant tune played as the footage resumed on a shot of Chris and Chef on-stage, addressing the three teams standing on the snow. "Team Universe, fresh-baked strudel awaits you in first class," he told the five on the right.

"Yippee!" Sugar cheered, sharing an excited high-five with Ella before realizing what she'd done and glaring at the singer, who just looked bewildered. Sammy also jumped and clapped excitedly, while Scarlett merely crossed her arms and smirked.

"No thanks are necessary," Alejandro told his teammates smugly.

"Team Victory," Chris told the four boys in the middle, "you're in not-winner, not- _total_ -loser purgatory for the second time ever." Scott, Tyler, and Ezekiel gave him neutral looks, while Geoff hung his head sadly. "And Team Chris is Really Really Really _Really_ Mean," the host told to the final group on the left, "you're voting someone out." DJ, Bridgette, Shawn, and Sierra shared a nervous look.

/

A tense and hollow sound played as the scene flashed to the plane in flight, then to Scott and Sugar at their usual meeting place in the cargo hold.

"Well _that_ could've gone better," Scott griped. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you to take a dive after all."

"Oh, is _that_ what you were wavin' yer arms around for?" Sugar asked. "If I'da known that, I woulda fallen more _grace_ -fully."

"Yeah, well, we still would've been in trouble for it," Scott told her. "Who knew Geoff and Bridgette would make up so quickly?"

"Or that they'd realize you were tryin' to split 'em up?" Sugar pointed out with a jovial smile.

"Exactly," Scott said dryly. "Now we gotta lie low so nobody else gets suspicious of us, and we gotta make sure my team doesn't lose again before I can get Zeke and Tyler back on my side!"

"Aww, don't worry!" Sugar said happily, putting an arm around her ally's shoulders, "I'm sure you'll think of _some_ way to get outta the mess you got yerself in!"

"True," Scott smirked. "In fact, I think I know _just_ what I need to do..."

A few ominous notes were struck, and the scene flashed away.

/

The four members of Team Chris were already seated nervously in the elimination room, and the host was standing before them with a tray of season's symbols of safety.

"I have three barf bags full of the finest peanuts never allowed to be handed out on commercial planes, due to allergy-induced lawsuits," he said, ending with a short wink at the camera. "Time to vote who gets 'em!"

xxx

"Sorry dude, but you nearly buried us all in ten feet of snow," Shawn said as he stamped DJ's passport.

xxx

"Sorry Sierra," DJ said while stamping his teammate's passport, "but did you really have to kick Sammy so _hard_?"

xxx

"Okay, I know I messed up too," Sierra said as she looked at one passport, the picture hidden from view, "but I don't wanna vote my _self_ out. And although your make-up with Geoff _was_ super cute, my _expert analysis_ tells me that it's just gonna distract you from now on. Sorry Bridgette," she revealed the surfer's passport and stamped it, "but I gotta vote for you."

xxx

Bridgette was last; she bit her lip nervously as her stamp-holding hand hovered and dithered over the passports spread out on the countertop.

xxx

"Okay, the votes are in," Chris told the four as the scene flashed back to the elimination room. "Shawn, you're safe," he said, tossing the first bag to the excited survivalist. "The rest of you, however, messed up today. Sierra," the taller girl suddenly became nervous, "you managed to get distracted in the crucial final round. Lucky for you," he tossed the second back to her, "your team isn't holding it against you." Sierra squealed happily and stuffed a fistful of peanuts into her mouth.

"Which brings us to you two," Chris told Bridgette and DJ, who looked suddenly nervous. "DJ nearly got you all killed, while Bridgette is pretty much why you lost the challenge. So, the last bag goes to...," the music became tenser as he paused, and both surfer and brickhouse became even more anxious. " _DJ_ ," the host finally announced, tossing the final barf bag to the gentle giant.

DJ, Shawn, and even Sierra gasped in surprise as Bridgette stood up sadly. "It's okay, guys," she told them. "I couldn't stand the idea of voting for any of you, and I felt really guilty for losing us the challenge, so...I voted for myself."

Her teammates gasped again, and the door to the elimination chamber suddenly slammed open as Geoff barged in. "Say it isn't so, Bridge!" he cried, running over to his girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, Geoff, I really am," she told him as they embraced. "It was a dumb move, but-"

"But we're outta time!" Chris interrupted with a smile, forcibly separating the two lovers by shoving a parachute pack into Bridgette's arms then pushing her over to the open doorway. "So long! Farewell! Auf wiedersehen! Good night!" He left her there balanced precariously, and walked away with a smile on his face.

"I love you, Geoff!" Bridgette said quickly as her boyfriend and teammates rushed over. She tried to reach out to her lover, but the wind caught her from behind and pulled her away and out into the open air.

"I love you too, Bridgette!" Geoff called back sadly, leaning out the open door as the camera fell away from it, mimicking the eliminated surfer's viewpoint.

"Will Team Chris is Really Really Really Mean _ever_ live up to their namesake?" the host asked, the usual ending music starting up as the shot cut back to him, the remaining three members of the team in question, and Geoff. DJ, Shawn, and Sierra gave the host a glare that he shrugged off effortlessly. "Find out next time, on Total!" the shot cut outside to the image of Chris on the plane's tail fin as the first blaring note played. "Drama!" the shot pulled back just enough to show the edge of the wings. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" The final shot showed the plane flying off to the left, and nothing more.

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

"I can't believe I just did that!" Bridgette exclaimed as she floated downwards through the chilly air courtesy of her open parachute. "What was I _thinking_ voting myself off like that? Geoff was feeling awful enough as is, and now he's probably blame _himself_ that I'm gone. Which...isn't technically wrong, I guess," she said sadly, "but I don't want him to beat himself up over me!"

She sighed. "And then Shawn's gonna have to find someone else to check the plane with...Ella has one less person watching out for her...and the same for DJ. But it's not like I could just vote somebody _else_ off when I was the one who screwed up, that would be just as bad!" She moaned sadly. "Maybe this is what I get for caring so much about everybody? Maybe I'm just not cut out for this?"

She paused a moment, then shook her head rapidly. "No. No! There's nothing wrong with caring about other people and trying to do the right thing, even if it _does_ cost you a million bucks!" she declared. "I may not have made it very far again, but I'm still happy with myself for how I played." She glanced downwards, and a flat note played as the shot cut outward, showing her drifting towards one of the oversized meat grinders, now loaded onto an unmoving flatbed truck on top of the snowy mountain.

"...nnnot so happy about _this_ , though," she commented as she slowly landed inside the grinder. "Ewww, didn't they wash this thing?!" she exclaimed, her voice taking on a metallic echo.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And so, the subplot between Bridgette and Geoff comes to an end, on both high and low notes. The two are still together, but sadly it caused Bridgette's elimination...among other things, as you'll see. Although I knew going into this season that Bridgette was almost certainly gonna be eliminated here, I wasn't sure until I started work on the chapter exactly how it was gonna play out. I knew Scott and Sugar would have to be involved, which ended up being by way of them semi-purposely failing in the first round of the dance-off, but the exact logistics of the second round of dancing, as well as everyone's logic in voting, took a bit more work.

Still, I'm happy with what I came up with - though Bridgette wasn't the last person standing for her team, it was her fall that caused Sierra to fall. That would justify Bridgette voting for herself, and with Shawn and DJ's votes being fairly easy to arrange, that just meant I needed Sierra's to make sense. But since she'd already forgiven DJ and would have no reason to vote for Shawn or herself, that means she'd have no choice but to vote for Bridgette...her justification for it might sound flimsy, but I like to think it also sounds flimsy to Sierra herself.

This week's song is just a Shuffled version of 'Eine Kleine'; I liked the melody and also the opportunity to use it to advance several romantically-based subplots at once. I do apologize if DJ maybe-seeing Dawn during it was a little out of nowhere, but I needed some way to cause an avalanche. Plus, I wanted to kind of follow up on Sammy's sighting last week...

Well, that's about all I have to say for this week. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, shocking though some of it may have been! Let me know what you thought, and I'll see you all next week!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)

Bridgette - (13th Place)


	9. Chapter 9 - Newf Kids on the Rock

**Author's Note**

Welcome back! This week has been both interesting and somewhat hectic, primarily due to the song for next week's chapter being the most difficult to work out in some time. Luckily, I was able to figure it out yesterday, and got enough done that there's no doubt in my mind that chapter 10 will be complete tomorrow. But that, as always, is something that won't matter until next week.

Also of import, tonight is the finale of The Ridonculous Race (in the US at least)! The Final Three teams will be competing, and although last night's episode took out my favorite team I do know who I'll be rooting for to win this series.

As mentioned last week: The TVTropes pages for this series could always use more love and work! I greatly appreciate anyone who's able to contribute to it, especially since I did check earlier and see some new entries! Thanks again to those working on it.

And that now brings us to the reviews.

 **Animation Adventures:** Thanks, I'm glad! I knew pretty early on that I wanted Bridgette to last longer here than in canon, and also to get eliminated before Geoff, and it just happened to work out that the best time to eliminate her was in the Alps. I'm glad I was able to give her a good storyline and resolution despite her only lasting eight episodes, and not only stay true to her character but also set up some animosity between Geoff and Scott. You're right that Scott and Sugar definitely have some hard-headedness about them, particularly Sugar, but I think that's just another reason why they work so well together. And I'm glad you liked DJ's ending to last week's song, I wasn't certain how well it would go over.

 **Solarr-Eclipse:** An apt summary of last week's events, I'd say. I'm happy you're looking forward to seeing who Sammy decides to align herself with; hopefully when the time comes her decision will make sense. And...now it's my turn to feel like a broken record, because I have indeed mentioned several times that I'll be doing Shuffled version of Revenge of the Island, All-Stars, and Pahkitew Island - their casts were determined in the initial shuffling I did before season one, though I haven't yet determined a lot of the plots and eliminations for the next three seasons.

 **TaitanoRules555:** Thanks. And for the record, please don't post insubstantial reviews just to bump the count up to a significant number like 200. I'd really prefer the review count to go up naturally.

 **lordkalel:** Honestly, I'm just not really that fond of the 'haha fat people eat a lot' kind of jokes. I get that Sugar is a big eater like Owen, but I just didn't want to force her to repeat a joke I don't like. As for Ridonculous Race cameos, don't count on it. The most that'll happen is Geoff possibly mentioning/alluding to Brody in passing, and similarly with Leonard and Tammy when our wizard friend makes his debut.

 **aloasa:** Yeah, I was honestly never really keen on breaking them up. Causing strife between them is one thing, but I'm a sucker for sappy romances so Gidgette was always gonna be a thing that worked out, more or less. Regarding Alejandro, I'm glad you're liking his development and interactions with Ella; they've been a fun pair to work with recently. Glad you liked the song, and thanks for the review!

 **DSX62415:** Haha, yeah. Perhaps not quite smart, since he wasn't specifically thinking of the electric grinder being useful in a future challenge when he decided to keep it, but yeah, it was fun writing out the consequences of his choice.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Well, I wouldn't really say that since they've only lost two members by now, same as Shuffled Team Victory. Poor Bridgette indeed, though, especially since had she not been eliminated she and Geoff would've been in the same seating class for the first time since Egypt.

 **ElizabethLifeStone:** Ah, I see. Well, I hope you've caught up by now - every episode except the unaired 26 should be up somewhere on the web, with the finale popping up some time in like 4 or so hours after it's aired. And as I told PizzaTheBomb, this Team Chris is nowhere near as bad-off as canon Team Victory, having only lost two out of their original five instead of four of their original six by this point in the game. At any rate, it's way too early for the two smaller teams to group up even if I did decide to do that. Regarding Scott and Sugar as the new AleHeather...well, I don't think I'd go that far, but they are certainly the new villainous duo at least. Just more cooperative than adversarial like Alejandro and Heather were. Anyway, good luck with school and your new series!

 **Ddynamo:** Yup. They're still doing better than Team Victory was in canon though.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yup, my thoughts exactly. Bridgette's just too nice to blame others when she knows it was her fault they lost.

 **OMAC001:** Well not the alliance, per say, just that Scott was up to no good. Sugar, on the other hand, wasn't connected to Scott messing with Geoff and Bridgette.

 **CVluvFoxy:** I'm really happy you liked Bridgette's ending, even if it was kind of a shame she had to go. You're gonna find out how Geoff's handling things soon enough, and as for Sierra...well, even I'm kind of surprised at how much of a threat I've been able to make her.

 **turn forever you and me:** Yup, the tension is certainly ramping up! I hope you enjoy what's to come.

 **Nickie Mudkip:** Aha, well, I'm not really good at remembering people's favorites (much less changing the plot to suit them) so no guarantees on that. I'm glad you really liked last week's episode, the song included! I hope I can keep up the quality.

 **Zak Saturday:** Thanks.

 **Knifez:** Wow, thanks for the praise! Though I do hope I'll be able to top last week's episode before the end of the season. Regarding Tyler/Ella...well, who knows, maybe I'll be able to surprise you with something. I'm glad that at least you liked how Geoff/Bridgette ended up, and how Scott/Sugar are developing. As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on future developments.

 **FOWLKON:** Oho, most definitely. Writing these recent development with Scott have been pretty fun. As for what Scarlett would say if she knew...who knows?

 **I. M. Poik:** I'm glad you liked what I did with the electric meat grinder. And hey, there's nothing wrong with being picky about music, and I certainly know I can do better with the songs I write. I just hope I'm able to come up with one you really like before the end of the season.

 **ashDanLand:** Ehh, I can see why you'd think Sierra would be going, but she still has stuff to do in the story. Bridgette, though, had her time and spent it well. I'm glad you liked the chapter though.

 **bruno14:** Hey, no problem if you didn't review earlier. Glad you liked that scene with Alejandro and Ella; I figure even Alejandro would blush when he was sufficiently embarrassed like that. And yeah, DJ managed to maybe catch a glimpse of Dawn but in doing so almost lost the game. Regarding Bridgette's elimination, her being a former finalist didn't really matter when I was making the decision; it was more that the timing was right and I didn't want to eliminate someone else more. I'm glad to know who you're supporting for winning this season, as well as who you're expecting to debut next season, but as always you'll have to wait to see how things turn out.

 **The Prime Writer:** Haha, yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking with the electric grinder. And as I told Knifez, perhaps I'll be able to surprise you with something I do with Ella and Tyler, who knows. As for what happens with Sugar and Scarlett's alliance, as well as the rest of Team Universe...well, you'll just have to read on and find out. And I'm glad you like my series so much, but honestly I don't think it would work nearly as well as the canon since some of the humor relies on what happened in the original canon to make sense.

 **Star Saber21:** Glad you liked my version of Sierra's slap dance! And yeah, she does need to be careful, but then again Scott is in a pretty negative spotlight right now... And I'm happy you thought DJ's actions during the song last week made sense.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** I know you haven't gotten too far yet (you've only reviewed Ch. 1 as I write this), but I'm glad you're catching up. It sounds like there's gonna be a lot of things you like about this season, and I'm eager to read the rest of your reviews.

And with that, we move onto the list of remaining contestants:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Tyler, Geoff

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Shawn, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

I hope you're all hungry for seafood, because there's gonna be plenty by the time this episode is over. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 9 – Newf Kids On The Rock**

"Germany!" Chris said as the recap footage began, starting with a clip of him swooping and gliding down a mountainside and above the contestants. "Here our competitors encountered the glorious Alps, as fun to go up," Sammy smiled at DJ as she pulled him out of a snow drift was shown next, "as it is to come down," and followed by the song-induced avalanche. "They also learned why Germany is world-renowned for the care they put into their sausages!" Chris added over shots of Alejandro stomping raw meat into the sausage grinder, Scott trying to make use of the reward he'd won in New York, and Team Chris beginning their trip down the mountain on their fully-packed sausage.

"From this day on, however," the first round of the second challenge was shown briefly, showing the wins of Bridgette, Alejandro, Sierra, and Geoff, "Germany will only be known for _two_ things: it's _traditional_ dance, and for being a surprisingly romantic getaway." Geoff and Bridgette's make-up and make-out was shown, as well as the losses for both the surfer and Sierra that followed. "Too bad for Bridgette that it was cut short," Chris added over one final clip of the blonde standing up in resignation, saying goodbye to Geoff, and getting sucked out into the open air.

"There's an even dozen left," Chris said as the scene cut to him and Chef in the cockpit, "but not for long, on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A dramatic tune played over the usual starting shot of the plane in flight, and the camera quickly cut inside to the first class seating area where Ella was happily reading a magazine. "I'm so happy we're in first class again after so long," she said happily. "There's so much more to do here than in economy class, don't you think Sugar?" She looked up from her reading material, and the camera pulled back just enough to show the pageant queen glowering in the seat opposite her.

"Oh, sure, there's _tons_ of stuff to do," Sugar said with a mix of resentment and sarcasm. "Too bad for _me_ you won't shut up about any of it. 'Ooh, this food is just _delightful_ '," she said in a mocking tone that was clearly meant to be an imitation of Ella, "'and these seats are so _comfortable_!' Uggh, it's gettin' on my nerves!"

"Oh...," Ella said in a mix of shock and sadness.

xxx

"I've been getting the feeling lately that Sugar doesn't like me for some reason," Ella explained in the restroom confessional. "Hopefully I can fix whatever it is I'm doing wrong. But until then, I'm afraid it's just making everyone else uncomfortable. And between Scarlett's feud with Alejandro, Sammy and DJ still being heartbroken of Dawn's departure, Geoff being mad at Scott, and Bridgette not being around to help cheer everyone up, I think I'll have to start being more... _proactive_ in my attempts to keep everybody in high spirits. Wish me luck!" she told the camera with a smile.

xxx

"I'm sorry for annoying you, Sugar," Ella told her teammate, who huffed in disbelief. "I'll stop."

"Don't bother trying to please her, Ella," Alejandro said, walking up from the right, "it's not worth the effort. She's just too determined to find fault in you, when in truth you have none."

A scoff from behind him gained his attention as Scarlett looked up from her seat in the next row over. "Please, I've already taken note of over a dozen of Ella's faults," she said, "the _least_ of which is her attraction to _your_ obnoxiously fake persona."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Alejandro sternly replied. "I have not been _fake_ with Ella, or anyone this season!"

"Oh?" Scarlett replied with jovial skepticism, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. "Then why hasn't Sammy agreed to an alliance with you yet?" She pointed towards the camera, which shifted around to show the cheerleader sitting on the opposite side of the aisle, staring wistfully out a window.

"I've just been...giving her time," Alejandro answered. "She _is_ still recovering from Dawn leaving the game, after all."

"Sure," Scarlett said, smirking as the charmer narrowed his eyes at her and Ella looked anxiously between them.

/

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Scott told Geoff as the camera cut to Team Victory back in economy class. The party-lover was sitting with his back to the farmer, and Tyler and Ezekiel were sitting between them looking rather uncomfortable. "I made a bad call thinking Bridgette was going behind your back with another guy. But I was just looking out for the _team_ , and trying to get you to focus more on the game."

"Oh yeah, sure," Geoff said bitterly. " _That's_ what you were doing, and not trying _mess_ with me so I'd screw up in a challenge and you'd have a reason to vote me off. It's not like that's what you did _last_ time or anything."

"Why would I try sabotaging my team again when that's what got me _kicked off_ last time?!" Scott countered. "Dude, I _swear_ , I wasn't trying anything!"

"Whatever," Geoff told him coldly, standing up. "You're totally bogus, and I'm not gonna put up with it anymore." He took a few steps away and the camera panned to follow, showing the three members of Team Chris watching silently on the left side of the plane. "Hey Shawn," he said to the survivalist, who perked up in surprise, "I know we're on different teams and all, but with Bridgette gone I figured I'd try to make things up to you for, y'know, wrongly accusing you and stuff."

"Oh, uh, thanks," Shawn told him. "But it's really no big deal."

"Naw bro, I gotta," Geoff countered. "Now I know you need another partner to help you check the plane for undead dudes, so I figured I'd offer you my services."

Shawn stared at him blankly for a moment, then smiled and said "Yeah, cool, thanks."

"Coolio," Geoff said. "You mind if we do it now? I kinda wanna get away from Scott right now," he asked with a thumb over his shoulder at his scowling teammate.

"Uhh, sure, I guess," Shawn said, standing up. "Come on, I'll show you the ropes." He motioned for Geoff to follow, and the two boys walked out of economy class with their teammates watching all the way.

"Well, I guess they're friends again," DJ said to Sierra. "Good thing, too, I was feelin' really bad for Geoff. I don't know what _I_ would do if Sammy left too and I thought one of my friends betrayed me."

"Better not say that in front of Scott," Sierra whispered back, shielding her mouth with her hand but still pointing and looking in the devious farmer's direction so that he knew what she was talking about. "He might get _ideas_." DJ's eyes widened slightly, and he nodded.

Scott, meanwhile, snorted and rolled his eyes.

xxx

"Yeah, saying I'm in trouble right now would be an _understatement_ ," Scott said bitterly in the restroom confessional. "And the worst part of it is that with everyone suspicious of me, I've only been able to talk to Sugar once, and that wasn't even to figure out who to target next! I'm gonna have to lay low for a little while and hope she doesn't mess things up."

"Still," he added with a slight smirk, "if Geoff wants to leave me alone with Zeke and Tyler, then fine with me. After all, as far as they know _I'm_ not the one going off alone with someone from another team. I just have to convince them that Geoff can't be trusted anymore, and that'll be easy. But more _importantly_ I need to make sure Zeke and Tyler are on my side so I'll have allies later on."

xxx

The roar of the engines was heard over the season's world map, its plane icon making odd bouncing motions across the 'ocean' just off Canada's eastern coastline. The camera cut to Sammy looking out the first class window, wincing as the plane splashed down on water.

"Wait, why are we landing in the middle of the ocean?" she asked aloud, growing even more confused as the plane seemed to ascend again. "...we _are_ landing, right?" she added, wincing yet again as the plane splashed down for a second time. "Right?"

"Oh...oh my," Ella said, stumbling forward as the plane shook again and falling onto her knees in front of Sugar. "This is...I hope this ends soon, I'm afraid it's making me feel a teensy bit...," the plane jolted again, " _bad_."

"You better not be thinkin' of barfin' all over my _shoes_ ," Sugar told her angrily, "or any of my other clothes, either!" Ella's only response was a whimper.

/

The scene cut to Chris and Chef laughing raucously in the cockpit, then outside as the jumbo jet finally slid to a stop on top of the water. "Attention all Total Drama passengers!" Chris announced over the plane's intercom. "In accordance with emergency landing procedures," the shot cut closer to the door on the tail of the jet, "you will now be shown the nearest exit."

The door immediately slammed open, a few long and deep notes began to play, and DJ was pushed out screaming. He was followed by Sierra, Shawn, Geoff, Scott, and Tyler one after the other before the shot cut inside to Chef pushing out Ezekiel, Scarlett, Sugar, Ella, and Alejandro all in a line as well. He looked back over his shoulder, then the footage cut to him walking up to Sammy in first class – she was clutching onto a seat cushion, and when Chef pulled her away she managed to pry it clear off the seat entirely.

She was sent flying out into the ocean, the cushion held under her butt causing her to skip as she screamed. Chef laughed at her from the open doorway.

The camera panned across the floating contestants, the sound of DJ's splashes and cries for help heard long before he was seen. "Don't worry DJ, I'll help you!' Sammy called out to him before tossing the seat cushion his way. It landed right in front of him just as he began to sink, and fortunately he was able to grab it and pull himself back up above water. Sammy quickly swam over to him, passing Alejandro who pursed his lips as she went by.

"Thanks," DJ told his girlfriend, still gasping for air.

"No problem," Sammy smiled. "I know you're not a good swimmer, so I figured I'd grab something that floats."

"Glad you were able to," DJ told her with a short laugh.

"As are we all," Alejandro said as he swam over. "Especially since Sammy has already had _one_ person she cares about disappear mysteriously, it would be _truly_ tragic if she were to lose you as well. I apologize for trying to make you focus on the team first, it was thoughtless of me."

DJ and Sammy shared a skeptical look, then Sammy said, "Oh, thanks, I guess."

xxx

"I've decided to change strategies with Sammy," Alejandro explained in the restroom confessional. "Instead of trying to divert her attention _away_ from from her affections, I will instead work _with_ them. I will admit that Scarlett thought of the idea first, but I doubt she will _actually_ be able to follow through on it. That means it's only a matter of time before Sammy agrees to an alliance with me."

xxx

A small green fishing boat blew its horn as it drove up alongside the plane and in front of the contestants. "Hey dere, ya gowdy angishores," Chris greeted in some nigh-incomprehensible accent as a jaunty sea tune began to play, "ever been to sea?" He was standing on the deck of the boat, of course, and wearing an olive-colored oilskin and sou'wester.

"Uhh, come again?" Shawn asked in confusion before Sierra, treading water next to him, gasped in realization.

"It must be Newfoundland!" she exclaimed. "Chris is originally from 'Blow-Me-Down Highlands'," she explained to her teammate, crossing her eyes as she mimicked the accent.

"Aye, it's a bonney homecomin' for Buddy McLean," the host confirmed as he walked from the cabin to the bow of the ship, "Canada's _beautiful_ east coast!"

"Ooh, I've always _wanted_ to see where you grew up," Sierra said. "Well, not as much _now_ , but still."

"Aww, thanks!" Chris told her in his usual accent. "It's just a hop, and a skip, _thataway_!" He pointed off to his right, the camera panning over to show...nothing but ocean, and a single goose flying towards the camera that suddenly had a heart attack and dropped from sheer exhaustion.

"First part of the challenge," Chris told the contestants as the camera cut back to them all, "swim over to your team's boat and start paddling." Three small, identical rowboats were shown floating together a little ways away. "The teams are little bit uneven, _but_ since there's only two oars per boat anyway I don't think it'll make a difference here." Shawn, Sierra, and DJ shared a nervous look.

/

The scene changed focus to Team Universe as they regrouped in the water. "If we mimic the flight patterns of migratory waterfowl while swimming," Scarlett said immediately, "we'll be able to reduce water resistance and thus swim faster."

Alejandro snorted. "Can't you just say 'V formation' like a _normal_ person? Honestly-"

To his surprise, he was interrupted by Ella putting a gloved hand over his mouth. "That's a _lovely_ idea, Scarlett!" she told the brainiac. "We'll swim in a V like happy little geese. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"Well, funner that sitting around listening to Scarlett and Alejandro _argue_ at least," Sammy told her with a smile. "Let's get moving!" She began to swim away, and Ella followed quickly and happily. Alejandro and Scarlett glared briefly at each other before joining as well, leaving a scowling Sugar to trail behind.

xxx

"Uggh, there goes _Ella_ actin' like she's in charge," Sugar sulked in the main confessional. "Figured it was only a matter of time before she _really_ started bossin' us around. First she acted all _sweet_ and _nice_ to butter everyone up, and now she's gonna try and take control of the team. Well I ain't gonna let her!" Sugar declared with her hands on her hips. "I just gotta work fast to get Samey into an alliance, then get Scott to sabotage us so we can get Ella _gone_!"

xxx

The focus remained on Team Universe as they and the other teams swam towards the off-screen boats. "Sammy, I think _you_ should be the one to take point in our little V," Ella suggested. "I'm quite confident that leading us will help boost your spirits."

"Hey, that was gonna be _my_ idea!" Sugar said angrily. "Don't be takin' it!"

"Of _course_ it was," Alejandro told her with a hint of smug mockery. "But regardless, I agree that it's a good one. Sammy, if you'd be so kind as to lead the way?" He looked at the cheerleader, who looked mildly stunned.

"Oh, uh, sure!" she said with a smile.

/

"You okay, DJ?" Shawn asked his teammate, still clinging to the cushion his girlfriend had given him.

"Yeah, I got this," the brickhouse said with a nervous squeak. He was kicking his feet and moving forward, but not as fast as either of his teammates. "Just gotta go at my own pace."

Sierra laughed anxiously, pausing to watch her teammate's slow advance. "Well, hopefully your pace will be faster _rowing_ ," she said.

/

"Okay dudes," Geoff said as swam up to Team Victory's boat and hopped in with ease, "we just gotta keep ourselves together and we'll win this. Just as long as _Scott_ doesn't try to sabotage us again!"

"He said he was sorry, eh," Ezekiel said as he pulled himself out of the water and flopped down on the boat. "An' I think he makes a good point, too, aboot not wantin' to sabotage his own team after it went so badly for him before."

"Maybe," Geoff said as he grabbed Tyler's hand and pulled the jock onboard, "but I'm still mad at him, and, I want him to know that!"

"No problem there, guy," Tyler told him, "just make sure you don't stay _too_ mad at him or it'll distract you big time."

"No worries!" Geoff reassured him. "I may not be able to trust Scott ever again, but I'm still _totally_ cool with Team Dude! Especially you two bros!" He put an arm around Ezekiel and Tyler's shoulders and drew them into a side-hug.

"Hey, would somebody give me a hand up?" Scott interrupted, the camera cutting to him floating just off the side of the boat. "Unless you _want_ to leave me here and probably lose the challenge because of it."

"Fine," Geoff said, grudgingly offering him a hand and pulling him up.

/

The focus cut back to Team Universe, where Sammy was heading their V formation – Alejandro and Ella had formed the left wing, while Sugar and Scarlett were to her right.

"Well, here we are," Sammy said as she reached their boat and grabbed the back of it.

"Indeed," Alejandro said as he swam to the side and climbed up at the same time as Sammy, then turned around and pulled Ella up. "Minor though it may have been, you still did a good job leading the formation."

"Thanks," Sammy told him.

"Yeah, _real_ good," Sugar added as she and Scarlett climbed on board the small boat. "In fact, I think Sammy should take the lead for the rest of the challenge!" The brows of her teammates rose and Sammy smiled.

"Seriously...?" Scarlett muttered under her breath, pinching the bridge of her nose as the camera cut in close to her.

/

"Almost there, DJ!" Sierra called out to her teammate, already sitting on the boat with Shawn. "You can do it!"

"I can do it! I can do it!" the gentle giant repeated, his eyes clenched shut as he kicked forward. The background music became triumphant as he finally reached the edge of the boat and was pulled up by Shawn and Sierra. "I made it!" DJ said in happy relief.

"Yeah, and not a moment too soon," Shawn said with a nervous look back at the ocean they'd just crossed; the camera quick-panned over to show the distinct dorsal fin of a killer whale breach the surface for a few brief seconds.

"Aye dere, contestants!" Chris greeted as the shot cut to him approaching the teams on his fishing boat, the background music shifting back into a more dramatic challenge tempo. "Ready to row, row, row yer boats? First two teams to get their dories to the shore," he said, switching back to his usual voice as the camera panned downward across Team Chris, Team Victory, and Team Universe, "will take part in the final challenge. Oh, and if you land some seafood along the way," he added, "you'll get a special reward. On your mark!" he raised his right hand high. "Get set!" he moved it onto the unseen helm of his own vessel. He finished with a short blow on his ship's horn. "Now go!" he declared, the teams and music both taking off in full force.

Team Chris and Team Victory got an early lead. The former had Sierra and DJ rowing while Shawn sat in back; meanwhile, the four boys had arranged themselves so that Tyler and Geoff were manning the oars, Ezekiel sat in back, and Scott took a seat in front. "Watch out for the killer whales!" Scott taunted Team Chris as his boat passed theirs.

"Don't worry," Shawn quickly told DJ as the larger boy cringed in fear, "I don't think they'll bother us but I'll keep an eye out anyway."

The focus quickly moved to the unmoving Team Universe as Sammy looked around nervously from her spot in the middle next to Sugar, with Ella at the bow and Alejandro and Scarlett at the stern. "Uhh, I guess me and Sugar are rowing?" she said hesitantly.

"Finally," the pageant queen said in a surprisingly good-natured fashion, "I thought you were never gonna decide!" She quickly grabbed an oar and started rowing, as did Sammy.

"Sorry, I just didn't realize we were waiting for me to give an order," Sammy explained. "I'm not really used to being in charge."

"Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it," Alejandro told her as Scarlett tossed out a lobster trap with an annoyed expression. "And if you tire of rowing, just let me know and I'll swap places with you."

"Thanks," Sammy told him with a smile, "but I don't think I'll need it."

"And how about I act as the coxswain?" Ella suggested before immediately and cheerfully calling "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" at an even pace. Sugar was shown glaring, and the focus moved back to Team Victory.

"Whoa, I think I got something!" Ezekiel called out to his teammates as he frantically pulled up the rope hanging out of their boat, revealing a lobster trap with what looked like a single lobster in it. "Err, now what do I do with it?"

"I don't know, just dump it in the boat," Scott told him. "And make sure it doesn't fall out or pinch anyone."

"Really?" Geoff said accusingly. "I thought you woulda _liked_ to see that happen." Scott just rolled his eyes.

The camera panned up to Team Chris, where Shawn was looking nervous at his own lobster trap. "I'm...not sure I wanna risk dredging up a sunken _zombie head_ with this thing," he said before setting the trap down and picking up a fishing pole. "This should be better," he smiled.

The background music increased its dramatic tone as the three teams were shown rowing nearly side-by-side, with Team Victory in a slight lead and Team Universe slightly behind. "Who's gonna make it to the rock?" Chris narrated. "And who's going to the chopping block?" the camera cut to the host on his fishing boat as he switched back into his native accent. "Find out, after da break dere b'y."

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

As the episode resumed, Team Universe were shown to have closed the gap between themselves and the other teams. "Isn't this just so _exciting_?" Ella asked aloud. "The sky may be cloudy, but it sure does set the mood, doesn't it?"

"And what mood is _that_?" Scott asked from his boat with a skeptical smirk. "Cold, dreary, and seasick?"

"No, not _that_ ," Ella told him, "although it _is_ a little chilly. What I _mean_ is that although a lot of sad things have happened lately, that's no reason we can't enjoy ourselves right now! We get to be out on the _beautiful_ north Atlantic, competing with each other and the noble creatures of the deep, and honoring Canada's _finest_ fishermen! Isn't it just amazing?"

"Yeah!" Tyler answered, immediately and enthusiastically.

"Not really!" DJ said a moment after, clearly still apprehensive.

The three teams were interrupted by a sudden and familiar pair of dings, the accompanying musical note logo appearing in the corner of the screen."Yes!" Ella cheered. "Thank you Chris, a song is _just_ what we need right now!"

"Glad you're getting into it, Ella!" Chris said as he drove his boat up alongside the three teams. "I'm expecting this to be a good one!"

"I won't let you down, Chris!" Ella called back eagerly. "Now start the song!"

~/~

[The music was opened by an accordion, playing jauntily over a close-up of Ella's pink slipper as it stomped down on the side of the boat to the beat – once, then again, then three times quickly. Drums joined in as the princess began to sing.]

" _We're heading down to Newfoundland, that rocky eastern shore!_ "

" _We'll test ourselves against the sea for the win we're fighting for!_ "

[Alejandro added as a fiddle and tin whistle joined the music. He had somehow gotten hold of an accordion and was playing it in the boat, and the camera panned down during the lyrical intermission as he danced a few steps.]

" _I can't get a thing to bite so we gotta get there fast!_ "

[Shawn sang, bobbing his head to the tune as the focus moved over to Team Chris; true to word his fishing line wasn't moving. He turned his gaze forward, and the camera panned to Sierra and DJ.]

" _Oh Shawn we hear you loud and clear, 'cause we don't wanna come in last!_ "

[The fangirl and brickhouse sang together as they paddled quickly; Sierra followed up with a chant of "Go! Go! Go!" to the song's beat.]

" _It's a sea shanty, and it's darn catchy!_ "

[Ella sang as the camera moved back to her, step-dancing a little before eagerly calling out "Okay Team Victory, it's your turn!" Still rowing, Sugar was glaring at her.]

" _Sure it's kinda cold out, but at least Zeke's catching fish!_ "

[Tyler enthusiastically answered, looking back over his shoulder as his homeschooled friend hauled a fish up that was larger than he was, and with a startled "Whoa!" promptly got crushed by it.]

" _Great job guy, don't be shy, 'cause your haul sure looks delish!_ "

[Geoff sang back to Ezekiel as the homeschooled fisherman pulled himself out from under the giant fish. The camera panned a short way over to Scott as he smirked and said "Looks like the reward's ours, boys!"]

" _This trap is inefficient, to the net I will resort!_ "

[Scarlett sang next, the camera cutting over to her holding up a lobster trap with only a single lobster, then putting it down and picking up a large fishing net.]

"Wait, do I see? Could it be?"

[Sammy exclaimed suddenly, causing the camera to pan to her wide-eyed face as it filled with hope. She gasped.]

" _Steer us hard to port!_ "

[Sammy finished as the scene cut to an approaching shot of a foggy outcropping of rock, with a familiar silhouette standing on top of it.]

" _It's a sea shanty, and it's darn catchy!_ "

[Ella repeated as the camera cut back to her step-dancing at the ship's bow, Sugar and especially Sammy rowing hard with fierce determination on their faces. Ella looked happily expectant at Sugar, the only one yet to sing.]

" _Won't make me happy, with a sea shanty!_ "

[Sugar sang without looking at the object of her hate.]

~/~

The jaunty rock music stopped there, getting quickly replaced with something hollow and sad as Ella's face fell. "Oh," she said, "I'm sorry to hear that, Sugar. I was really hoping to lift everyone's spirits with a song."

"Well _my_ spirits are raised," Sammy interrupted, "so let's get going!" She pointed off to her left, then resumed paddling with Sugar.

/

"Wonder where _they're_ goin'?" DJ asked, having stopped paddling to look in Team Universe's direction.

"No idea," Chris called out, gaining the whole team's attention. Another hollow note played as the perspective changed to show the camera moving away from him and his boat, and he added "Ya might wanna take a wee gander over dere, b'y!"

Team Chris were shown looking forward again, and the shot zoomed out to show they were drifting straight towards an iceberg. All three started to scream, and DJ and Sierra started to frantically paddle to the side. They managed to dodge it, but Shawn's eyes widened as he noticed another smaller hunk of ice float by between them and the camera.

"We're in an ice drift!" Sierra exclaimed, briefly stopping her rowing. "We have to make sure we don't hit anything!"

"What do you think I'm tryin' to do?" DJ replied as he frantically tried to move the boat by himself.

The background music became tense as the camera switched to an aerial view of the ice drift, showing Team Chris' boat as they tried to maneuver their way through the sea ice. Several times they screamed again as they neared one of the floes or bergs, but they managed to avoid them all just in time and maneuver their way through the drift and off-screen.

They let out a sigh of relief, and the scene changed to the beach they'd come ashore on. There were a few rocks lying around, as well as a mound of lobster traps, several upturned boats, and a lighthouse on a cliff far in the background.

"Oh em gee, we're alive!" Sierra said in amazement.

"Yeah!" DJ added.

"Great steering guys!" Shawn told his teammates. "You two really saved us!"

"Aww man," Scott's annoyed voice came in. "I _knew_ we shouldn't have slowed down to land that cod!" Team Victory was shown approaching the shore, Ezekiel struggling with another large fish.

"Ooh, we even won!" Sierra said excitedly. "Go us!"

The dramatic music peaked as a strange high-pitched noise got Team Chris' attention, and they turned their heads just in time to see Chris, now wearing a jetpack over his raincoat, land in front of a nearby lobster shack. "In a surprise finish, Team I-Am-So- _Wickedly_ -Cool is first!" he announced.

"Uhh, that's not _technically_ our name," Sierra corrected.

"Meanwhile," Chris continued, ignoring the comment, "Team Victory gets _second_ , and Team Universe is currently a no-show."

"Really?" DJ asked in concern. "Where _are_ they?" As he put his hand to his brow and looked back out towards the sea, a few ominous chanting notes played...

/

The scene changed to a shot looking up at the mysterious silhouette on top of the rock formation, the sun shining bright behind it.

"For what _reason_ did you take us so far off course during a _race_?" Scarlett asked angrily as the camera quick-panned down to Team Universe's boat floating at the base of the rock formation.

"Because," Sammy said as she climbed out onto the nearest rock, "I saw something that I can't just ignore, even _if_ we end up losing because of it. And since you all decided to make me leader for this challenge, you're just gonna have to go along with it."

Alejandro sighed and stood up. "Fair enough," he told her. "I'm not happy about it, but since I think I know what you're feeling I won't argue. Still," he stood and grabbed onto the rock, "at least let me go with you. I'll admit I'm curious as to what's up there, and it's safer if we go together."

"Oh, uh, okay," Sammy told him.

"In that case, I'm comin' too!" Sugar declared forcefully.

"Perhaps I should come as well?" Ella offered uncertainly.

"No," Alejandro told them. "Somebody needs to stay here to keep Scarlett from leaving without us."

"That's...probably a good idea," Sammy admitted, causing the evil genius to purse her lips unamusedly.

"Fine," Sugar said, sitting back down and crossing her arms. "But only 'cause Sammy's the leader, like _I decided_."

Sammy and Alejandro smiled, and as they began to climb the scene flashed away.

/

"Okay everybody!" Chris addressed the two teams who had assembled before him at the beach's picnic table. "It's time for the next leg! Since Team Universe are the big losers, they're out." DJ gasped. "They'll have to clean the fish and the lobsters the other teams brought in. Aaaaand," he added as Chef quickly leaned forward and slammed a juicy bucket of clams down in front of him, "shuck all these giant clams!" A few of the clams had bounced out of the bucket when it was slammed down, and Chris caught one in his hand.

"Yo, I'm sure glad I'm not them, eh," Ezekiel said, "'cause I caught a _lotta_ fish."

"Unfortunately, they're not here yet," Chris said. "And since _I'm_ hosting a swanky beach shindig in a couple of hours, which I need some clean and beautiful Atlantic clams for, I'm not very happy right now." Still wearing his usual bland smile, he squeezed the clam in his hand hard enough that it spurted a large amount of fluid onto DJ.

"Uhh, maybe they'll be here soon?" the gentle giant said with a squeak in his voice.

"They better hope so," Chris said, waving the clam around and scattering a few more drops of fluid. "Otherwise, I'm gonna have to have Chef supervise them while they work. And by 'supervise', I mean 'throw things at them so they work faster while I watch and laugh'."

"So, uh, didn't you say the team who brings in the most seafood gets a special reward?" Scott asked cautiously.

"You do," Chris said, still smiling blandly. "You get to watch Scarlett, Alejandro, and the rest of their team shuck clams and clean fish when they get here. How's _that_ for a special reward?"

Scott rubbed his chin in thought for a moment, then smiled and nodded. "Cool, I'll look forward to it." The rest of the contestants were shown looking slightly uneasy, with DJ being the most noticeable.

xxx

"Okay, if it was just Scarlett and Alejandro doin' the work," DJ confessed, "I probably wouldn't mind watchin' that much. But I _don't_ wanna have to see my girlfriend cleaning fish, especially if Chef's there throwin' stuff at her. Plus, she might have to face elimination tonight!" He paused, then added "Then again, I doubt _she'd_ be the one voted off. Unless she was the reason they're so late gettin' here? But I don't see how _that_ could happen."

xxx

"Dawn!" Sammy called out as the scene cut back to her and Alejandro climbing up the rocks. "I'm sorry if you don't wanna see me right now, but _please_ , just tell me why you left! DJ and I have been worried sick!"

The camera looked up at the mysterious silhouette again, a few wisps of light fog surrounding it. It gave no response, but as the shot moved back to Sammy she didn't falter. "Dawn, please!" she repeated as the perspective moved up to the top of the outcropping, focused on its edge as Sammy's hands reached up to it. "Just-" Sammy pulled herself up to face the camera, then froze in mid-sentence with eyes wide and mouth agape. Alejandro pulled himself up besides her, and his eyes immediately went wide as well.

The shot zoomed out from them, revealing that the top of the rocky outcropping was barren, with nothing that even remotely resembled Dawn.

"I...but...she was _here_ , I-I _saw_ her!" Sammy stuttered as she frantically scrambled up top and frantically looked around. "Did she jump off into the ocean or something?"

"I'm sure we would have heard the splash," Alejandro said calmly as he pulled himself up as well and walked over to her. "I fear she may not have been here to begin with," he told her as she continued to crawl around and look over the edges in a panic. "The fog plays tricks on the best of us, I'm afraid."

Sammy sat up on her knees and turned a desperate look to her teammate. "I wasn't seeing things, I _swear_! Dawn was up here, just like she was in the _sewers_ in New York! Just like DJ saw her in the _Alps_!"

"So what, you think she's following us in secret to keep an eye on you two?" Alejandro asked skeptically. "Because as much as I'd like that to be true, for your sake, I just don't see how Dawn could possibly keep up with the plane, even _with_ her... _gifts_."

"Then...then what have I been _seeing_?" Sammy asked herself, looking down despairingly. "What did _DJ_ see?"

"You saw what you _wanted_ to see," Alejandro told her, walking up and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's obvious that you two care a lot about Dawn, and with the way she left us it's natural for you to want resolution. But you have to accept that she's _gone_ now, and that you need to focus on what _remains_."

"DJ...," Sammy murmured. She sighed, then stood up. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I _do_ need to move on from Dawn leaving and focus on my relationship with DJ."

"I'm glad you've realized that," Alejandro told her with a smile that quickly turned into a more anxious look, "but you should _probably_ also focus on the competition."

Sammy's eyes went wide. "Oh crap, the challenge! We gotta get back to the boat!"

/

The scene flashed down to Ella, Sugar, and Scarlett in the boat below, the singer looking distinctly uncomfortable. The three were startled when Sammy and Alejandro suddenly dove into the water nearby, splashing all three of the boat-bound girls.

"You're back!" Ella said excitedly. "How did it go, did you find Dawn?"

"Not so much, sorry," Sammy said sadly as she and Alejandro quickly swam over and boarded the boat.

"Well, now that your _snipe hunt_ has concluded we can finally go to our fates," Scarlett said as Sugar and Alejandro took up the oars and began paddling.

/

The scene flashed away again, taking the focus back to the other two teams. They were now seated on opposite sides of a long table inside the lobster shack; various seafood paraphernalia dotted the back wall and a few traps lay on the right. Also on the right was an open screen door, while on the left a Dutch door remained close.

"Welcome to my _traditional_ Newfoundland kitchen party," Chris greeted from the head of the table along the back wall. "In this part of the competition it's Team Victory," he motioned towards Scott, Tyler, Ezekiel, and Geoff on the left, "versus Team Chris is Really Really _Mean_ ," he waved an arm towards Shawn, Sierra, and DJ on the right, "in a 'Screeching In' relay!"

A jaunty tin whistle tune played as he turned around and opened a cupboard set into the wall behind him, revealing a few jugs. "'Screeching In' is a ceremony performed by the locals to welcome newcomers. First, ya have to swig a whole lot of apple cider," he said as he put three jugs down on the table.

"Hey, not too bad," Tyler said with a small smile.

" _Correction_ ," Chris said, "that was supposed to be apple cider vinegar. It'll put hair on your chest." Scott and Tyler shared an odd look. "Scott, Tyler, and Shawn each have to finish a _whole bottle_ ," the host continued over a shot of the survivalist raising an eyebrow.

"Soon as you do, you will tag Ezekiel and Sierra," the two contestants were each sown watching blankly, "who will _then_ have to decipher a local Newfoundland saying, spoken by my cousin," with a smile he motioned over to the Dutch door and announced, "Jeeerrrrd McLean!"

Another jaunty tin whistle tune played as the bottom half of the Dutch door was swung open by a short man in a yellow raincoat similar to Chris'; despite his bushy red beard the man's face looked distinctly similar to the host's. He walked across the room quickly, put his arms around the shoulders of Tyler and Ezekiel, and said "How's i' gotten dere b'y?" The two boys shared a bewildered look.

"Then Zeke tags _Geoff_ ," Chris said as the camera zoomed out to show him standing behind the homeschooler and party-lover, "and Sierra tags _DJ_ ," the opposite pair were shown glancing at one another, "and they will have to kiss a cod. Like they _mean it_." Geoff's brow shot up in shock.

"First team to finish all three legs wins the challenge," Chris said before a loud and sudden crash from outside got his attention. "Huh, probably Team Universe," he said with a blank frown. "You all stay here while I take care of this." A few deep notes played as he walked towards the open door, and the two teams shared a nervous look.

/

"Maybe we were rowing _too_ fast," Ella groaned as the scene moved to the members of Team Universe lying scattered under and around an upturned boat on the beach.

"Aww, shut it," Sugar grumbled, pulling herself out from under the boat.

"Hello, ladies," Chris said, the camera pulling back as the approached the five. "And Al. Glad you finally decided to show up."

"Are we in last?" Sammy asked anxiously, propping herself up on one arm and rubbing her head.

"Yup," Chris said bluntly. "The other teams got here awhile ago and are about to get started on their next challenge" he added with a thumb pointed back over his shoulder. "What _you_ kids have to do now is clean and shuck _all_ the seafood you and the other teams brought in. And believe me," he chuckled, "Zeke caught a _lot_ of fish."

"If we finish processing the catch before the other teams complete their challenge, will we have to go to elimination?" Scarlett asked as she stood up and brushed some sand off her clothes.

"Nope," Chris said with a mischievous smile.

"Then there's no reason for us to delay," Scarlett said before walking towards the table nearby. "Let's get started, _team_." Sugar followed her with an annoyed look, with a nervous Sammy, happy Ella, and disinterested Alejandro joining moments later.

/

"Well then, now that _that's_ taken care of," Chris said, now back in the lobster shack with his cousin and the other two teams, "it looks like it's time for Team _Dude_ and Team _Me_ to go head-to-head." Scott and Tyler shared an anxious look, and Shawn gave a similar look at the jug in front of him. "Let the Screeching In," Chris said as he and Jerd raised their fingers simultaneously, " _begin_!" The two McLeans pointed at the contestants, and a deep and tense piece of music began.

All three boys were shown raising their jugs of vinegar and beginning to chug – first Scott, then Tyler, then Shawn. Jerd was shown grinning and pounding his fists against the air excitedly, then the camera moved back to the farmer. To a triumphant tune he finished his jug and set it down, coughed dryly, then grinned. "Please, that was nothing!" he said cockily. "I've drank worse things I've found in Pappy's _shed_."

Shawn finished next, his face already scrunched up as he put the jug down. "Okay," he said with a dry wheeze, " _that_ was almost difficult." He wiped his mouth on his sleeve, then grinned.

The tense music returned as the focus was put on Tyler, who was still chugging. "Come _on_ , man!" Scott told him. "It's just _vinegar_!"

Tyler made no sign of hearing him, instead grabbing the jug with both hands and tilting it higher as he himself leaned back. The music became triumphant again as he quickly swallowed, and eventually he pulled the jug off his lips with a 'pop', weakly wheezed "Done!", and in one swift motion dropped the jug on the table and fell over backwards.

"Awesome," Chris said with a grin. "Both teams move on to the interpretation part of the challenge!" He raised his arms, then said "Ready? Take it away, Jerd!"

The camera panned down to the shorter man as he happily said something akin to "Ring da bell at da pumphouse."

"Uhh...what?" Sierra asked in blank confusion.

"That's...kinda hard, eh," Ezekiel added.

"Dese kids are as smart as a bag o' rocks, b'y," Jerd told his cousin.

"Oh," Chris laughed, "I know."

"Hey, it's not that I don't know what he _said_ ," Ezekiel spoke up, taking offense, "I just don't know what he _means_ , okay?"

"Oh really?" Chris asked, sharing a skeptical look with his cousin. "What makes you think it's not just what you _think_ he said?"

"Because that would be too easy, eh!" Ezekiel answered, mildly exasperated. "It wouldn't be a challenge if his sayin' was straightforward, so it's gotta be, like, a euphemism or somethin'."

The McLean cousins shared a look of mild surprise, and Sierra was shown thoughtfully muttering "Euphemism, huh?"

"Aggh, Zeke!" Scott said, slapping his face then leaning towards his teammate and gesturing towards his opponent. "Why'd you have to tell _her_ that?"

"Sorry, homie," Ezekiel said sheepishly. "But at least I got an idea of what it is, eh."

"Would you care to take a guess?" Chris asked with a hint of impatience.

"Err," the homeschooler looked thoughtful for a second, then hesitantly said "Can I use the bathroom?"

Jerd snapped his fingers and smiled. "Correctamundo!" Chris said, causing Team Victory to cheer and group high-five. "Jerd asked to use the washroom like a true Maritimer! Surprising display of smarts, Zeke."

"It ain't _that_ surprisin', eh," Ezekiel replied, slightly offended again.

"And with that, Team Victory is in the lead," Chris said. "They can now move on to the third and final part." Geoff was shown raising his eyebrows in surprise and dread. "Yo, Chef!" he called out, and the camera moved to the wide-open Dutch door as the music became tenser.

"Keep your shirt on, I'm comin'!" the hulking man said shortly before walking into the room with a clothespin on his nose and a bucket in his hands. He reached into it, pulled out a fish of decent size, and casually tossed it on the table in front of Geoff.

"All you gotta do is smooch the cod for the win," Chris told the taken-aback party boy. "And remember, dude," he added as the shot cut to him winking and his cousin making kissy faces while a harp played, " _like you mean it_!" Geoff shuddered.

"Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean, you better get a move on!" the host told the team of three, Sierra in particular watching blankly. "Jerd, another saying if you would please?"

He motioned to his cousin, who smiled and said "Tha worst thing ye can have in yer head is a na'r tooth!"

Sierra's eyes went wide, and she said "... _huh_. Is this another euphemism?"

"Not really," Chris answered plainly. "Any guesses?"

The fangirl frowned thoughtfully, then hesitantly answered "The worst thing you can have in your head is...no teeth?"

Jerd nodded as a mild tune of triumph played. "Bingo!" Chris said. "And how true. DJ!" Chef thrust another cod into DJ's hands. "It's time to pucker up!"

"I don't know if I can do this," the brickhouse said, not taking his eyes off the cod in his hands. "I don't wanna hurt the poor thing."

"Me neither," Geoff chimed in, nervously looking at his own fish. "I don't think Bridgette would like me kissin' a fish."

Chris and Jerd just rolled their eyes.

/

The scene flashed to another, deader-looking cod getting slammed down on a table, but the camera quickly zoomed out to show that it was on the table outside. It had been slammed down on the table by Sammy, who was wearing gloves and holding a knife over the deaf fish. All five member of Team Universe looked like they had been splattered with various fluids.

"Okay, this is worse than the _clams_ ," Sammy said, wincing as the camera panned up from the fish she was now cleaning.

"Too bad," Scarlett said as she slammed one of the large fish Ezekiel had caught down on the table. "We have to process _all_ of it, _regardless_ of how disgusting it is."

"Oh, certainly," Alejandro said as he grabbed another clam out of a cooler on the table. "We wouldn't want to invoke the wrath of our _host_ after all. Of course," he chuckled lightly, " _some_ of us have more to worry about than others."

"Haha," Scarlett said sarcastically. "Making an obvious reference to both my unwanted _accessory_ ," she rapped on her collar with her knuckles, "and the fact that _I'm_ the most likely to be eliminated. Hilarious."

"Stop yappin'," Sugar scolded as she casually tossed a cleaned fish over her shoulder. "Ain't none of us is goin' home so long as we focus on the fish."

"Quite right, Sugar!" Ella said happily, to which the pageant queen glared at her.

"I'm just...glad that none of you are mad at me for making us lose," Sammy told her team with a smile as she dropped her cleaned fish into a bucket and grabbed another one from a cooler on the table.

xxx

"I'm pretty sure the only reason my teammates aren't openly talking about voting me off is because they still want me in their alliances," Sammy told the restroom camera. "Which I gotta say is almost nice!" she added with a smile that quickly faltered. " _Almost_."

xxx

The scene cut back to Geoff and DJ anxiously holding up their cods. "Just tell yourself," Sierra whispered to her teammate, "Dawn would _want_ you to show that cute little fish some affection!"

"I...that actually kinda makes sense!" DJ whispered back with a growing smile, causing his cod to look nervously at the camera.

"Yo, just ignore the fact that it's a cod, eh," Ezekiel whispered to Geoff. "Just think about kissing Bridgette instead."

Geoff gulped. "I'll try, dude." He closed his eyes, and a touching tune began to play as the fish was overlain with an image of Bridgette puckering up to him, a heart in the background. "Oh, Bridge," Geoff moaned as he kissed his 'girlfriend', "I really miss you."

"Oh, fishy...," DJ murmured in a similar tone as he was shown kissing his rather bewildered-looking cod.

First Sierra and Shawn, then Ezekiel, Tyler, and Scott were shown all watching uncomfortably over sounds of repeated kissing. The shot cut back to Geoff and DJ, now sitting back-to-back on the table but still kissing their fish.

"Okay," Chris said as the music turned sharper, "we've seen enough!" Geoff's cod broke the kiss and slapped him. "It's a tie!" the host declared as the camera moved to him waving his arms and Jerd covering his eyes. "A _draw_!"

Just then, Team Universe came running in through the open screen door on the right. "We're done cleaning the fish!" Alejandro announced at the front of the group. "Did we finish in time?"

"Nope!" Chris said with a wide grin. "Team Universe, you are today's full-on, big-time, can't-get-any-bigger, _losers_!"

"Aww, no!" Alejandro groaned with his teammates. "I thought for _sure_ we had finished before one of the other teams!"

"Well, I suppose it had to happen sooner or later," Ella said sadly.

Scarlett sighed. "Well, _I_ suppose we'd better prepare ourselves for a vote," she said in an annoyed but defeated tone.

"Except that," Chris interrupted, "in celebration of my home and native land, _this_ is a reward challenge only! No eliminations!"

"But you told us we'd only avoid elimination if we finished cleaning the fish before the other teams finished their challenge!" Alejandro said in shock.

" _No_ ," Chris corrected, "I said that if you finished before the other teams you wouldn't have to vote someone off. Not _once_ did I say what would happen if you _didn't_ finish cleaning before the challenge ended."

"Then...why did you lie to us?" Sammy asked.

"'Cause I figured you'd work faster if you thought it would save your butts, _duh_ ," Chris answered with a laugh before turning his attention back to the other teams. "Anyway, Teams Chris is Really Really Really Mean and Victory are tied for a reward," he told them, Geoff and DJ still sitting on the table holding their cods. "A delicious clam and fish chowder _supper_!" The seven teens immediately cheered.

/

The footage skipped forward to Tyler drinking a bowl of chowder, then setting the bowl down on the table and wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "Man, that sure hits the spot after all that vinegar!" he told his teammates, the camera pulling back to show both them and Team Chris enjoying their meal at the same table.

"It got the taste of fish outta my mouth too!" Geoff said happily.

"Wouldn't the chowder only increase the taste of fish?" Sierra asked.

"Whoa," Geoff said, stunned by the revelation. "I didn't even think of that!" The others laughed at him in a mostly good-natured fashion.

"Y'know," Scott mused between slurps, "we never _did_ get to watch Team Universe clean the fish."

"I doubt we missed very much, eh," Ezekiel told him. "Just them gettin' some fish guts on 'em."

"Still wanted to see it," Scott said.

The camera panned back over to Team Chris as DJ stood up. "Hey, I'm gonna go find Sammy, okay?" he told his teammates.

"Go right ahead," Shawn told him as Sierra nodded. "Just watch out for _maritime undead_."

DJ chuckled. "Right."

xxx

"Me and Sammy haven't seen each other all day," DJ told the restroom camera, "and with _her_ team, I bet she really needs someone to talk to right now. Plus," he looked around and blushed happily, "it's kinda been a while since we were really _alone_ together, y'know?"

xxx

The scene cut to Sammy sitting sadly on a rock at the edge of the beach, a light but ominous tune playing in the background. She sighed forlornly, then looked up and around at the sound of footsteps. The camera zoomed out, but it was not DJ who was approaching but rather Alejandro.

"Still thinking about Dawn?" he asked her.

"Yeah," Sammy said sadly. "I've been trying not to, but..."

"No need to explain," Alejandro told her with a curt handwave, "it's only _natural_ to struggle with those feelings."

Sammy sighed again, and looked up at him. "Look, I know you're only trying to make me feel better so I'll join your alliance, but...," she looked down again and smiled halfheartedly, "surprisingly, I don't really _mind_ that much."

"And...?" Alejandro said, eyebrow raised intriguingly and smile half-formed on his face.

She sighed a third time, but this one was much shorter. "I'll join the alliance with you and Ella," she told him, extending her hand. He reached out to shake it, but then she abruptly pulled it back a ways and sternly told him "But _only_ until the merge." She re-extended her hand and smiled.

"Fair enough," Alejandro said, grinning as he shook her hand. "Welcome to the alliance, Sammy."

A few deep, chanting notes played as the camera cut to DJ standing in the doorway of the lobster shack, gasping at what he saw. The shot pulled back to show Sammy and Alejandro shaking hands in the foreground, then pulled back even more and panned left to show Chris watching the scene from afar.

"Wow, that's gotta be a shocker," the host turned around and told the camera as the series' usual capstone music began to play. "Not every day you see your girlfriend making a deal with one of the biggest villains on the show, after all. What will become of this new development? Find out here, on Total! Drama! World Tour!" Though the grand and blaring music did not play, the camera still pulled back three times to show the whole beach, Sammy and Alejandro still shaking hands in the background but now looking straight at DJ.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

As was probably predicted as soon as most of you saw the title, this episode was another reward challenge. Honestly, the entire challenge was set up to be one, so I saw no point in changing it. The tie either, for that matter, since it's gonna play out a little bit differently than in canon since DJ's not a team of one.

And, of course, Sammy maybe-saw Dawn again as I'm sure you were all expecting. But unlike in canon, what she saw wasn't just a Dawn-shaped rock. Oh, and for the record, the Duncan-shaped rock does totally exist in the Shuffledverse, but nobody had a reason to notice or care about it.

The song, of course, is a Shuffled version of 'Sea Shanty Mix' that I've taken to calling 'Sea Shanty Shuffled Mix' just because. I hope I got the right feel to the lyrics; as stated in-story Ella was hoping to raise people's spirits with an upbeat and jaunty sea tune.

Overall, this episode played out a lot differently without a one-person team in it, while still retaining what I feel is a comfortable level of same-ness with the canon episode. I hope you all enjoyed it!

One last thing - I did my best transliterating the Newfoundland English, but I'm not certain on some of it (particularly Jerd's lines) so if you're a native speaker of the dialect I apologize for any mistakes I made.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)

Bridgette - (13th Place)


	10. Chapter 10 - Can't Help Falling in Louvr

**Author's Note**

Hello again, dear readers! Can you believe we're already at episode 10? I can, but it still feels pretty surreal. Even more so that I'll be starting work on the second Aftermath of the season this Sunday, after I put the finishing touches on next week's chapter on Saturday. Surprisingly, it wasn't really the song that took up so much time for me, but rather the changes I had to make to the plot. Next week is Jamaica, and if you recall the plot from the canon episode you'll see why I had to change so much.

Also hard to believe is that it's now been about a week since The Ridonculous Race ended in the US! I've seen both the original aired finale and the alternate ending, and I liked them both. Still, for the time being I'd prefer it if reviewers left out spoilers for the series - many people read this story, and the reviews, and I'd rather nobody gets spoiled about a series they haven't seen yet.

Now, let's move on to the reviews!

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** I'm glad you liked last week's chapter, and I hope you were able to find the last couple episodes of TRR! Also happy you like DJ and Sammy as a couple.

 **I. M. Poik:** Glad you're liking Sammy's choice to join Alejandro's alliance, and are looking forward to what's gonna happen next. As for your rating of last week's song...meh, I'll take it.

 **TaitanoRules555:** Thanks!

 **Solarr-Eclipse:** Glad to here from a Newfoundlander! Especially since my writing of the dialect was apparently pretty good. I've given my thoughts about doing a Shuffled version of TRR before, but I suppose I can say it again: Basically, although I do have ideas for what I would do, don't get your hopes up that I'll cover the season any time soon. Likewise, don't expect to see any of those characters get cameos in this series. I'm glad you agree with Sammy's decision regarding her alliance, and as for whether or not Dawn will return in London...well, you'll just have to wait and see!

 **CVluvFoxy:** I see, I see. Well, I'm afraid you'll just have to read on and find out more about what DJ's reaction to his girlfriend's 'deal with the devil' is, as well as what Scott's position in the game is really like. I'm glad I've been keeping you guessing about who's going home next, though.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Haha, I'm happy you enjoyed last week's song! As for Dawn...well, that's just something you'll have to wait to find out about. And yeah, just like in canon Sugar really doesn't like or trust Ella.

 **aloasa:** Ah, sorry to hear that but at least it doesn't seem like it was my writing that you didn't like since you liked the drama and alliance between Sammy and Alejandro. I do hope you find this week's episode more entertaining though.

 **DSX62415:** Hoh, perhaps you're right about Sammy needing to be careful, perhaps you're not - only myself and time know for sure. And I hope you're able to watch - and enjoy! - the rest of TRR.

 **turn forever you and me:** I'm happy you liked it! I just hope what becomes of the new alliance meets your expectations.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks as always! I hope you were able to watch the finale.

 **bruno14:** Glad you liked the song last week, and Scarlett too! As for Sammy and Ella...well, you'll just have to wait and see what happens to them next.

 **FOWLKON:** Yeah, I suppose a lot of last week's episode was predictable. Oh well, it's still good. Thanks for the review!

 **Glowing Insanity:** Glad you liked it! And I'm glad I've been able to keep surprising you with unexpected developments.

 **Zak Saturday:** No problem.

 **ashDanLand:** Thanks! And I hope you have a good field trip.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Welcome back! I'm glad you've caught up. I'm glad you're liking the mix of canon and original elements, since I feel that's one of the reasons why the Shuffled series has been so successful. Scott having his sabotage backfiring was honestly not something I consider, but I can see it working in another fic, at least. Regarding the lack of a real losing streak, it was something I decided I wanted early on as I felt it was caused, in part, by DJ's curse in canon and I knew I wanted to avert that subplot as well. It allowed me to make the teams seem more balanced, even if Team Universe has avoided elimination so far. For Sierra, I'm pretty happy with the direction I decided to take her in. For a while I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to do with her, but without Cody around to distract her I feel like she really has a lot of potential I've been able to tap. And as for last week's episode...well, I'm certainly glad you liked it so much! I look forward to your reactions to the rest of the second quarter.

 **OMAC001:** You'll find out with time on both accounts, and I hope you like what happens.

 **LadyEnigma888:** No problem! I'm glad you're liking how this season is shaping up, between Sugar as a main villain, Alejandro's developments, Bridgette and Geoff's subplot, and of course the mystery surrounding Dawn. As for TRR, it was honestly one of the best seasons I've seen in a while. I really liked the Goths as well, and also the Sisters.

 **Animation Adventures:** Haha, yeah. I'm happy you liked Ella taking initiative last week, both with the song and making sure people were having a good time. It's been...interesting trying to figure out her motivations, and what she would and wouldn't want to do. She's a very sweet person even when compared to other nice people in the cast, and it's been fun writing her. Regarding the Newfoundland English, Jerd's phrases were the same ones he used in canon so it was just a manner of transliterating them. Actually getting the spelling right for both McLeans just took some googling common Newfoundland phrases and such, it was more straightforward than it seems.

 **Mister Kennedy:** Ah, I see, well everyone is entitled to their opinions I suppose. Don't worry though, I will definitely be giving time to other characters. As for your questions about The Ridonculous Race, I suppose I must answer yet again: Yes I have seen the entire series, yes I really enjoyed it, but no I'm not gonna do a Total Shuffled Presents version anytime soon. Nor will those characters have any cameos in the remaining three Shuffled series fics that are planned right now. There is a possibility of me including them in other, shorter works though.

 **Star Saber21:** Yeah, you've got Sammy down pretty well. As for Zeke's fishing skills, I needed someone to bring in a big haul, and I figured why not have it be Ezekiel? I'm glad you liked my version of Sea Shanty Mix, it's one of the songs I really like from the season as well. And as for Dawn...well, when I do explain it I hope you like it.

 **wifishark:** Who knows?

 **Knifez:** No problem! You're trying to finish up Total Drama Chaos, right? Totally understandable that you're strapped for time right now. Moving on, yeah, it would've been hell turning Newfoundland into an elimination. The entire challenge is set up to eliminate one of the teams early on, so I'd either have to have that team not be up for elimination (similar to the bike challenge in season one) or just have the usual 'minor perk for the next challenge' thing. But that would still require some big changes to the Screeching In, and then there'd still be a lot of time lost from not having the aside scenes to the losing team, and...yeah, it would've been a pain in the ass. That aside...yeah, having DJ not being a mess right now was weird. Sammy...well, her reasoning will be explained soon enough. Glad you're liking who you're liking, and yeah the merge is super late this season so I always wonder if people wanting certain character to make the merge really mean the fourth quarter of the story, or the second half...anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and I wish you good luck on finishing your project!

Aaaand that's it for now! As usual, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work. I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far!

The remaining contestants this week are, of course:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Tyler, Geoff

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Shawn, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

With all that taken care of, we're off to the City of Love! Who will score, and who will strike out? Find out soon. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 10 – Can't Help Falling In Louvre**

"Previously, on Total Drama!" Chris opened, the recap starting on the series' world map as the plane icon 'bounced' towards Canada's eastern coast. "Newfoundland showed us a _whale_ of a time," he said over a shot of a killer whale's fin breaching the surface of the sea after Shawn and Sierra pulled DJ up into their boat, "as the cast was _stranded_ in the open ocean." The contestants were shown getting forcibly pushed out of the jet, then shown lining up in their respective team boats. "Forced to race to shore, each team was pretty much left to fend for themselves." He chuckled over shots of the race beginning, and a few clips from the musical number showing Ezekiel, Shawn, and Scarlett attempting to catch fish.

"Although Team Chris is Really Really Mean was still hurting after having booted off Bridgette," the host continued over a shot of the team of three ricocheting through an ice field and washing up on shore, "Geoff was hurting even _worse_ , and took it out on his team." A montage of the party boy's glares and bitter words from the previous episode were shown, all directed at one person. "By which I mean _Scott_ ," Chris clarified with a light chuckle.

"Meanwhile, Samey took advantage of her teammates trying to get her in an _alliance_ by taking _them_ on a wild goose chase to find Dawn," the host continued, the recap montage showing Sammy 'spotting' her missing friend, followed by Team Universe's boat docking against a rocky outcropping, and finally Sammy and Alejandro reaching the top of the rock to discover it barren and empty. "Needless to say, she found diddly- _squat_."

"In the end, DJ and Geoff managed to secure a tie for _first_ between their teams," Chris added as the clips flashed to the two boys sitting back-to-back kissing cod. "And Team Universe was _spared_ because it was a reward challenge of the lobster kind." The losing team was shown running into the lobster shack after the final challenge had ended, then an earlier clip was shown of Ezekiel excitedly holding up a lobster in a trap. "Mmm, tasty!" he added with a chuckle as Tyler was shown chugging his bowl of chowder.

" _Twelve_ players are still fighting for a million clams," Chris said as the recap ended and the scene flashed to him leaning up against Chef in the plane's cockpit. "Who's falling apart? And _who'll_ storm the world of art? Find out now," he spread his arms wide and accidentally smacked Chef upside the head, knocking his pilot's hat off. "On Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" A flock of geese flew by under the plane in the final zoomed-out shot.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened in the cargo hold where DJ and Sammy had already met up.

"I just don't see why you went and joined Alejandro's alliance," the brickhouse told his girlfriend. "Dude's _bad news_ , don't you remember all the stuff he's pulled?"

"It's not that I've _forgotten_ ," Sammy told him, "and I don't think he's really _changed_ , but, I mean, I was pretty much gonna vote with him anyway since we _all_ want Scarlett gone. So I figured why not just let him think I'm on his side until the merge?"

"I guess...," DJ told her uncertainly. "Just be careful, okay? I'm worried about you. I know Dawn leavin' like she did messed us _both_ up, and I don't want your teammates taking advantage of you because of it."

"Thanks," Sammy smiled, before looking down and away. "And, umm, about Dawn..."

"Yeah?" DJ asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, y'know how you think you saw her back in the Alps?" Sammy asked, and her boyfriend nodded. "Well, I really should've told you then, but...I saw Dawn too, back in New York." DJ's brow shot up. "And then again back in Newfoundland, it's why my team was so late to the challenge."

"Whoa, really?" DJ smiled. "You saw Dawn too?"

Sammy nodded. "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you before now, I didn't want you thinking I was seeing things."

DJ shook his head. "Don't worry, I get it. But I think this means that Dawn really _is_ followin' us! I mean, me just seein' her one time coulda been a fluke, but if you're seein' her too then it _can't_ be a coincidence!"

Sammy shook her head. "I'm sorry, DJ, but I think it really was just us seeing what we _wanted_ to see. There's no way she could have followed us all over the world, not when we're in a plane!"

"Maybe she stowed away somewhere," the gentle giant said with a squeak in his voice as he started looking around, "and we just haven't been able to find her?"

"DJ, _no_ ," Sammy told him, looking straight into his eyes. "I wanna see Dawn again too, but I don't wanna get my hopes up that it'll be any time soon."

They stared silently at one another for a moment, then DJ took a deep breath. "Yeah, I understand," he told his girlfriend. "You're probably right. We gotta move on from this."

They hugged, then broke apart. "Thanks," Sammy said. "Now let's get back to our teams."

"Good idea," DJ said, and they walked off hand-in-hand.

xxx

"I can't really blame Sammy for givin' up hope," DJ confessed in the restroom, "but _I'm_ not ready to. I figure that if _anyone_ can follow a plane halfway around the world, it's gonna be Dawn."

xxx

/

The footage cut back to Sammy walking silently into the economy class seating area where her teammates immediately turned their heads to look at her – Alejandro and Ella along the left wall; Sugar and Scarlett along the right.

"Sammy!" Alejandro immediately greeted with a broad smile. "How nice of you to join us again. Come, sit with us!" He motioned to an empty spot on the bench next to Ella.

"Hey! She's gonna sit with _us_ , y'hear?" Sugar countered angrily before turning a sweet smile towards the cheerleader and waving her over. "C'mon then, Sammy, sit a spell!"

"Umm..., sorry, but I'll pass...," Sammy told her awkwardly, the faces of both other girls falling into scowls as the cheerleader passed them by to sit next to a slightly uncomfortable-looking Ella.

xxx

"I'm going to assume this means that _Samey_ has finally chosen a side," Scarlett told the restroom camera with a mixture of annoyance and frustration in her voice. "Fortunately, I'm smart enough not to fall victim to the 'Gambler's Fallacy' and other such psychological traps, meaning that I recognize my present position is only slightly _more_ precarious than it was." She sighed deeply. "And as Sugar has so far been _useless_ , I must find a way to rectify this situation myself."

xxx

/

"Hey guys, sorry I was out for so long," DJ greeted as he walked into first class where both his own teammates and the members of Team Victory were currently relaxing.

"No worries, dude!" Geoff told him, walking over and sharing a high-five with the brickhouse. "You were just havin' some alone time with your girl, nothing wrong with that."

Scott immediately scoffed. "Maybe for _their_ team," he muttered.

"Don't even start with me dude," Geoff immediately turned around and told him sharply. "It's because I listened to you and Lightning, mostly _you_ , that I let things get so bad between me and Bridgette and her team voted her off." He motioned behind him, the camera panning slightly to the right to show Shawn, Sierra, and DJ watching awkwardly. "So from now on, I am _totally_ gonna get behind inter-team mingling. After all, just because we're on different teams in the competition doesn't mean we can't be friends, or even more!"

"Yeah!" Tyler chimed in enthusiastically.

"Well I don't like it," Scott said. He noticed Sierra giving him a suspicious look from across the aisle, then sneered and said "What?"

Sierra just turned her head and looked out the window.

xxx

"Scott's whole 'stick with the teams' thing is _so_ fake," Sierra told the restroom camera with disgust. "I mean, he's totally just trying to cover for his secret alliance with Sugar. Now if only I could find proof that it actually exists..." she finished, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

xxx

The camera cut to a close-up of one of the plane's loudspeakers as it screeched into use. "This is your captain speakin' so listen an' listen good!" Chef's gruff voice came over. "We're comin' in for a landin', so expect some turbulence!"

"I wonder where we are now?" Sammy asked as the shot panned away from the loudspeaker, showing the rest of economy class. The members of Team Universe looked out whatever window was nearest, and Ella gasped.

"Oh, I know _exactly_ where we are!" she said excitedly. The camera cut outside the plane, then rapidly rotated downwards to get a shot of a glittering, almost circular city bisected by a river arcing through the southern portion of it. "We're in _Paris_!"

A majestic tune began to play, even over the telltale whistling of the plane descending. Several shots from the ground of the jet circling around the sky were shown, including in them the Arc de Triomphe, a good stretch of the Seine, and finally the Champ de Mars leading up to the Eiffel Tower. The background music took a more dangerous turn as the jumbo jet finally made landfall in the park itself, gouging the grass and earth and knocking numerous trees out of the way.

The scene cut to the shaking and rattling cockpit, where Chris was standing in the doorway. "What's with the landing?!" he asked Chef with a mix of panic and anger.

"You _told me_ to land at the Eiffel Tower, so I did!" Chef shot back.

/

The footage skipped ahead to the contestants walking away from the landed plane towards their host standing at the edge of the plaza surrounding the tower. "Welcome, my little crepes, to France!" the host greeted as the three teams gathered around him. "And more specifically, to _Paris_!"

"The City of _Love_!" Ella declared excitedly. "The most romantic place in the _world_ , oh how I've _dreamed_ of coming here!" With an air of bashfulness she leaned up closer to Alejandro, who seemed slightly taken aback by the gesture. "To be in Paris with one you love...don't you think it's just fantastic?" she asked her handsome teammate.

"Too bad for you two lovebirds," Chris interrupted with a smile, "we won't have _time_ for romance. Paris is _also_ known as a cultural center with countless museums and art galleries, and we'll be going to the most famous of them all, The _Loavr_!"

"It's The _Louvre_ ," Scarlett corrected. "Not that I'd-" she was cut off by a shock from her collar.

"Man, I should remember to do that more often," Chris told himself happily. "Anyway, the, uh, place where we're going today is the home of _lots_ of priceless artwork. And I do mean _priceless_ , by the way. Even just one piece is worth more than any of you, even _with_ the million dollars." The camera panned across the stunned looks of the contestants. "So it goes without saying that you do _not_ wanna break anything once we're inside."

"If our challenge is in the Louvre," Alejandro asked, "why have did you land at the Eiffel Tower?"

"'Cause I felt like makin' you kids walk, of course!" Chris answered happily as Chef drove up behind him on a scooter. "See you there! And make it _snappy_!" He grabbed a helmet from Chef, then hopped on the back of the scooter; the two men drove off, leaving the contestants to groan and follow after.

/

"Man, bein' here just makes me miss Bridgette," Geoff commented to Tyler as the two boys jogged side-by-side. "All this romance in the air...I should be enjoyin' it with _her_."

"I get how you feel," Tyler told him. "I wanna enjoy spending time with Ella here too, but she's just gonna be all over _Alejandro_ instead."

"At least your girl's still in the game," Geoff told him sadly. "Even if you can't, like, _be_ with her, you can still _be_ with her, know what I'm sayin'?"

"I guess?" the jock answered, slightly confused.

"As for me," Geoff sighed, "I just gotta keep goin' without my little Bridgey-bear."

/

The footage skipped forward to a shot of the Louvre, then to a close-up of the wheel of a hand truck currently loaded with a crate of some sort The shot zoomed out to reveal it was about twice the size of Chef, who was wheeling it through one of the Louvre's halls. "Challenge time, kids!" Chris called from off-screen just as the hulking man dropped the heavy crate down and wiped the sweat from his brow.

The camera quick-panned to the host and contestants, gathered in another stretch of hallway. "Each team gets their very own famous sculpture," he said as the shot panned across the teams, landing on Team Chris on the left. "Chris is Really Really Really Mean, yours is Rodin's ' _The Thinker_ '," he told the group of three, handing Shawn a photograph of the seated statue which Sierra and DJ looked over his shoulders to see.

"Team Victory," the shot cut to the four expectant boys, "you guys get the ' _Venus de Milo_ '!" He handed the photograph to Scott, who whistled in appreciation.

"Prettiest hunk of rock _I've_ ever seen," he said with a smile.

"Calm down lover boy," Chris told him as he took out the third photograph. "Team Universe! You ladies get the ' _Statue of David_ '!" He handed the photograph to Scarlett, who said nothing even as Sugar and Sammy looked over her shoulders.

"Here's how it works," the host continued. "It's up to you guys to find your statue hidden somewhere in The... Loa-ve-ra..re.." he narrowed his eyes as he struggled to pronounce the museum's name.

"Shouldn't be too hard, eh," Ezekiel told his teammates. "Aren't the statues pretty big?"

"About that," Chris spoke up with a smile as Chef appeared behind him. "Chef has broken the statues into pieces, and hidden them! First team to find their pieces, race to the Pyramid Court," he pointed down the hall to the right, "and reassemble them, wins!"

"But 'The Thinker' isn't located in the Louvre," Alejandro spoke up in confusion, "and the 'Statue of David' isn't even _in_ France!"

"Well we're not using the _actual statues_ ," Chris told him with a smile. " _Those_ are _priceless_! Chef made some fake ones," he said matter-of-factly, "right?"

The shot cut to Chef's face as he slowly looked from the host to the camera, rapidly filling with dread. The camera cut back out to show the whole group as Chef abruptly ran off without a word.

"I almost forgot the _twist_ -twist," Chris said after watching Chef go. He whipped out a remote control, gave it a sly look and said "Here's your motivation!" He pressed the button, and the camera cut to the giant crate as it beeped and fell apart with a dramatic spike in the music.

Out of the small cloud of dust that was stirred up, a sasquatch roared and shook it's fist; followed by a grizzly bear growling and revving a chainsaw; and lastly a tiny goat kid that caused the dramatic music to fade into something softer.

"Wait, isn't that the goat that ate our sausage in the Alps?" Ezekiel asked nervously. The shot cut to the goat's close-up as the background turned red and it roared ferociously, the dramatic music returning in full force. "I think it is!" Ezekiel yelped as the four members of Team Victory huddled together in fear.

"I'd start running," Chris told them all.

The shot cut a little ways down the hall as Team Universe ran screaming first, being pursued by the sasquatch. Team Chris was next, Shawn screaming "Why is it always the bears?!" as he and his teammates were chased by the bear. Team Victory was last, the goat kid hopping as it chased them along.

The focus moved back to Team Universe as Scarlett and Sugar were shown getting chased from behind by the sasquatch. "Somebody do something!" the pageant queen screamed. The camera cut ahead to Ella as she looked back and frowned, the shot zooming out as she stopped running, took a deep breath, and let her two slower teammates pass.

"Hey mister yeti with the big furry feet!" she sang, causing both the sasquatch and her teammates to skid to a halt. "Beneath all your anger, I know you're quite sweet!" she continued, putting a hand on the charmed ape-man's cheek. "And if you'd not try to eat us, it'd be really neat!"

The sasquatch looked uncertain. "Now now," Ella told it, "you're in _Paris_! Why waste your time chasing us when you could be looking at all the lovely artwork of the Louvre?" The sasquatch looked around, then grinned. It nodded at Ella, and she waved happily as it walked away.

"That was quite impressive, Ella!" Alejandro told her, the rest of Team Universe standing behind him.

"Why thank you!" Ella replied with a blush, quickly grabbing Alejandro by the arm. "Now we can go _together_ without any distractions!"

"...yes, together," Alejandro said as Ella led him away, an uncertain look of his own on his face.

/

"Found one!" Sierra said as the footage skipped forward to her holding up what looked like her team's statue's left arm. They were in a hall with a lot of modern-looking sculptures, and DJ was scratching his head at one of them.

"Awesome," Shawn said with a nervous look behind the group. "And no sign of danger, either. But I don't think we can count on that forever."

"You think that bear's gonna find us again?" DJ turned his head to ask.

"Either it or something _else_ ," Shawn told him, still looking around. "I'm thinking it might be a good idea to split up," he suggested. "We'll cover more ground looking for statue pieces, and if one of us runs into danger the other two will still be able to complete the challenge."

"You, uh, you almost sound like you're expectin' us to get seriously hurt in here," DJ said with a nervous smile and squeak in his voice.

"Hey, I gotta be prepared at all times," Shawn told him. "You never know when a horde of _brain-munchers_ is gonna come outta hiding after all."

"Or a chainsaw-wielding bear," Sierra said with a wide-eyed look behind the survivalist, "look!" She pointed off to the left of the screen, the boys turning their heads and gasping.

The music spiked dramatically as the shot cut to the chainsaw-wielding bear as it roared at them.

"You guys run," Shawn shouted quickly, "I'll lead it away!" The bear roared again and swiped its chainsaw at the three, but DJ and Sierra scattered with a scream while Shawn just quickly ducked. "You missed me, you big fur-ball!" he taunted before running off, the bear promptly giving chase.

/

The dramatic music leveled off as the scene flashed to Team Victory walking through another hall of the art gallery; Scott, Tyler, and Ezekiel were already carrying a piece of their statue each. Geoff was trailing a few paces behind them, slouching slightly in his sadness.

"Cool, another piece!" Tyler said with a grin, the camera quick-panning ahead to show what looked like a hunk of the 'Venus di Milo' sitting on top a pillar.

"This one's yours, man," Scott told Geoff with a smirk. "Unless you're still feeling too _down_ to get it for the team."

"Don't even start, dude," Geoff said, scowling at the farmer as he himself walked forward. "Just because I'm seriously missing Bridgette right now does _not_ mean I can't compete." He hopped onto the pillar and started shimmying up it, the camera lingering on his teammates as they watched. A few seconds later, he hopped down with the statue hunk in his hand. "See?" he said proudly, eyes closed. "What'd I tell ya?"

"Sweet, guy, and you got the best part too!" Ezekiel told him with a grin, causing the party boy's eyes to pop open and take a closer look at what he'd grabbed.

It was the chest.

Geoff stared at it blankly for a second, then scoffed and looked away. "It's just a _rock_ , dude. It's got nothin' on Bridge."

"Good, now stop thinking about her and let's get moving!" Scott told him and the others before leading them away.

/

The scene flashed to Alejandro and Ella looking at Grant Wood's 'American Gothic', the singer still holding on to her crush's arm. "What lovely _couple_ , don't you think?" Ella asked her companion as the camera switched to a head-on perspective.

"Actually," Alejandro replied, leaning forward slightly to look at a placard under the painting, "I believe they're meant to be father and daughter."

"Oh," Ella said, her facing falling slightly in disappointment. "Well, even then it's still a lovely painting, made even better since I get to enjoy it with you!"

"Thank you," Alejandro told her. "I've enjoyed spending time with you as well, but don't you think we should be focusing on the challenge?"

"Oh, don't worry about _that_ ," Ella told him with a light handwave. "I'm sure the others have it covered!" Alejandro made a noise of discontent as he looked off to stage right, the camera quick-panning over to the rest of their team walking down the hall ahead of them. All three girls were carrying multiple pieces of the statue.

"Uggh, just _look_ at those two," Sugar said bitterly with a glance backward, standing to the right of Scarlett and Sammy. "Plottin' and schemin', tryin' to get rid of us."

"I hope you realize that by aligning with them," Scarlett whispered to Sammy, "you've essentially _doomed_ yourself if our team goes to elimination three times before the merge."

"Oh, I know it's risky," Sammy replied, "but I'd still rather work with _him_ than with someone who once hijacked a giant robot and attacked everyone. No offense."

"None taken," Scarlett deadpanned.

The background music took an eerie turn as the camera lingered in place as the three girls of Team Universe walked past a hallway. The shot zoomed in on it, revealing that Sierra had been watching from behind a strange-shaped sculpture.

"Huh," she muttered to herself. "I guess Sugar and Scarlett haven't given up, even though Sammy's already in an alliance with Alejandro..."

xxx

"I'm like a super good multitasker," Sierra explained to the restroom camera, "so when Shawn had us split up I decided to use the opportunity to spy on Sugar and Scott while still looking for statue pieces. I've only found Sugar so far, but since I'm pretty sure Scott's gonna be gone soon anyways that's probably for the best. I still _really_ want some proof of their secret alliance, though."

xxx

The focus switched over to DJ, who was nervously creeping through one of the halls with a few statue parts in his arms. "Just gotta take things nice and _slow_ ," he told himself while looking around. "Don't wanna alert any bears, or yetis, or even zombies." He stopped in his tracks and looked forward, his brow rising a bit.

"An Ancient Egypt exhibit?" he asked as the shot cut to a small stone-lined doorway set between two pillars; there was an arc of hieroglyphs above it and a sarcophagus leaning against the wall beyond it. "Maybe that's where one of the statue pieces is?" DJ told himself as he started to walk forward. "Gotta be careful though, who _knows_ what could be in there."

The music became tense and eerie again as the gentle giant approached a T-intersection where the doorway was located. The camera cut to the left passage as a small shadowy figure with long hair suddenly darted away, its footsteps immediately catching DJ's attention. "Somebody there?" he asked, quickly running towards the side passage to check and catching a glimpse of pale blonde hair turning left around another corner and out of sight.

"Dawn?!" DJ gasped, immediately forgetting the Ancient Egypt exhibit and giving chase. The scene followed him out into the next hallway where he stopped; the camera mimicked his gaze as it panned across the hall, devoid of everything except art...and the head of 'The Thinker'. "Sweet!" DJ said with a grin.

/

A short drumroll heralded a scene change to a close-up of the head of the 'Venus di Milo'; the shot zoomed outward to show that it was guarded by several lasers, and that the members of Team Victory were looking at it with statue pieces in each of their arms.

"How are we supposed to get our last piece from behind these _security lasers_?" Scott asked, standing second to the right with Ezekiel to his left, Geoff even further left, and Tyler to his right.

"Guess who was captain of his gymnastic teams in _kinder-gym_?" Tyler replied with a confident thumb towards himself. "It's Tyler time!" he declared, backing up a little before launching himself forwards...and straight into one of the pillars on the side of the room.

"Yeah, looks like _Zeke_ is gonna have to do it," Scott said with an unimpressed look at the fallen jock.

"What? Why me?" Ezekiel asked with wide eyes.

"Because you're the smallest one here," Scott told him before leaning in and whispering "Plus, I _still_ don't think Geoff's head is in the game," with the camera panning up a little to show Geoff staring forlornly at what looked like a painting of a couple kissing.

"Right," Ezekiel said, nodding even though his eyes still showed his anxiety. "I guess I just move," he cautiously stuck a finger towards one of the lasers, "and-YEOW!" he hollered as he touched the laser and got zapped.

Chris was heard laughing, and the scene cut to him and Chef watching Team Victory on what looked like a monitor in a security guard's station as a faster-paced dramatic tune played. "Looks like things have taken a shocking turns for our contestants!" he told the camera. " _Electrifying_ , wouldn't you say?" he asked Chef, who immediately looked around awkwardly.

"Uhhh...," the hulking man murmured.

"Too cheesy?" Chris asked.

"Maybe...," Chef responded, and the two men turned to face the camera.

"We'll be right back," the host said with a smile.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

"Ella, we really _must_ get going," Alejandro told the girl who was still on his arm and standing still to look at another painting. "I have no _idea_ where Sammy and the others have gone."

"Oh, can't we just forget about them for now?" Ella pouted. "We're having such a wonderfully _romantic_ time right now, why stop for a challenge? Unless...," she looked him in the eyes as her lip began to tremble, "you're saying you don't _want_ to have a romantic time together...?"

"It's not that, trust me!" Alejandro said, taking her hands in his. "It's just that I want to make sure we win and get to stay together. Besides-"

He was cut off when a hand tapped on his shoulder, and the shot pulled back to reveal Chris. "Hi!" he greeted with a cheery wave at the two which Ella absentmindedly returned. "My name is Chris, and I'm the host of the show! Hey, did you know you're on it," he scowled, " _right now_? And are supposed to be doing a challenge?"

"Sorry," Alejandro told him, "Ella just wanted to spend some time _alone_ with me."

"Aww," Chris smiled, "don't care! You two can have your little date on your _own_ time. This is _my_ time, and I don't _want_ boring romance. Luckily, I know _just_ how to make things more interesting!" He grinned, and the pair of dings sounded off with the appearance of the musical note icon.

"Oh, thank you so much!" Ella said excitedly, even going so far as to give the host a startling hug. "I've been looking forward to this ever since we landed!"

"Yeah, great," Chris said, forcing her away from himself.

"You _do_ know what she's gonna sing about, right?" Alejandro asked as Ella took a twirling leap away.

"Oh I know," the host answered, "and it's still better than watching you two look at paintings for an hour. Ella, if you would?" He looked towards the singer, who was already grinning.

~/~

[A tango-styled bal-musette tune began to play, an accordion taking the lead with a double bass and drums joining shortly after. The scene itself moved to a seemingly empty stretch of hall before zooming in on Jean-Honoré Fragonard's 'The Swing', in which Ella appeared to have taken the place of the paintings subject and was swinging about as though real life.]

" _Alejandro, dear, right now it's so clear, why we're in fair Paris_!"

[She sang along to the accordion, timing her swings to the beats and jumping from it – and the painting – at the end of her line.]

" _So until my stay here ends, with my love my time I'll spend; you are the best thing that's ever happened to me_!"

[She landed in another painting with a twirl, the camera pulling back to reveal it as 'A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte' by Georges-Pierre Seurat.]

" _Ella, I hear you; I also want to, find out what we could be_!"

[The charmer replied in an almost pleading tone, the scene cutting back to the hallway as the handsome young man looked on at the painting his teammate was 'in'. As soon as the focus switched over to him a guitar replaced the accordion that had accompanied Ella, and mimicked the melody of the previous two lines.]

" _But I'm afraid our teammates will, turn against us now; but still, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me_!"

[As he sang his second line, he turned away from Ella and looked towards a larger painting of three witches who had been modified to look like Scarlett, Sugar, and Sammy.]

" _Can't you, put that aside for this_?"

[Ella sang, the accordion returning once more but with a few accompanying notes from the guitar. Still 'inside' her previous painting, she reached to the side and 'pulled' Alejandro in as well, taking him by the hands and forcing him to sit down with her.]

" _You light my fire, my heart's desire, it's truly bliss_!"

[The camera zoomed in on them, then back out to show them standing in a hallway together holding hands as they'd been previously. Ella looked down with a brief but sad look that soon faded into a happy smile as she turned her head and motioned to another painting, a version of Jan van Eyck's 'The Arnolfini Portrait' changed so that Alejandro and Ella were the couple in it.]

" _I see, how much this means to you_ ,"

[Alejandro sang as the camera panned back down to the pair, the guitar taking the lead again though the accordion was still present.]

" _Perhaps you're right, I'll be your knight, and take you through...The Louvre_!"

[He let go of her hands to put one to his chest and extend the other one as he sang; he looked to the side, the camera panning to a painting of a knight on horseback that had Alejandro on the horse before cutting back to the charmer smiling at his companion and offering his arm. She took it gladly, and the camera moved behind them as they walked down the hallway.]

[The camera quick-panned over to Team Victory, Ezekiel now holding their statue's head and trying to make his way back through the security lasers. The focus was put on Geoff, who was staring sadly at a version of Johannes Vermeer's 'Girl with a Pearl Earring' that had Bridgette as the titular girl.]

" _Bridgette, I miss you; wish I could kiss you, right here in fair Paris_!"

[He sang to the portrait, a piano taking over the music in place of the accordion and guitar, the melody returning to what had opened the song.]

" _But because you've left the game, my passion's not the same; you were the best thing that's ever happened, to me_!"

[He leaned closer to the portrait of his girlfriend, then turned slightly to the right as the scene shifted to show the two of them in formal dress dancing something like the tango; he dipped her and moved in for a kiss, then the scene shimmered and he opened his eyes to reveal that he was about to kiss the severed head of the 'Venus di Milo'. The camera zoomed out to show Scott, Tyler, and Ezekiel looking at him awkwardly.]

" _Isn't this perfect? My only regret's that we're not truly free_!"

[Ella sang again, the scene quick-panning back to her and Alejandro, now doing a dance of their own down the hall; both the accordion and the guitar played in sync, taking over for the piano.]

" _But you're still my shining star_!"

[She sang, briefly resting her head on his shoulder as they lined up side-by side.]

" _And together, we'll go far_!"

[Alejandro added, spinning Ella around and dipping her.]

" _You are the best thing that's ever happened to me_!"

[They sang together in unison, the camera closed-in on their faces as they held the dip.]

" _To me_...!"

[Alejandro repeated as the musette finished up; Ella had closed her eyes and puckered up, but in that moment Alejandro's face was filled with hesitation and regret.]

~/~

"There you are!" The pair was startled out of their moment by the shrill voice of Scarlett, the camera panning to the left to show the remaining members of Team Universe standing nearby at the end of a side hallway, several statue pieces in each girl's arms. "Care to explain why you felt the need to wander off in the middle of the challenge and fail to obtain any parts of the statue we were assigned?"

Alejandro cleared his throat and quickly straightened both him and Ella out, the singer looking distinctly disappointed. "My apologies," he explained, "we were... _delayed_ by a musical number."

"A likely story," Sugar said, glancing suspiciously between the two. "Yer just lucky the three of us managed to find the whole statue, so let's git to buildin'!"

Alejandro cleared his throat again. "Yes, of course," he said, following the three girls back down the hallway and leaving Ella to look down sadly.

xxx

"For the record," the charmer explained in the restroom confessional with a hint of desperation in his voice, "I am _not_ in love with Ella. Not only is she too naïve, but she has _no_ penchant for strategy or deception. But even so," he slumped down with his head in his hands, "there's just something _about_ her," he gripped the side of his head hard, then looked up with his fingers still locked into place. "Something that makes me want to _regret_ stringing her along as I have."

He took a deep breath, straightened up, and recovered his usual straight-faced demeanor. "But no," he said. "I am _Alejandro Burromuerto_ , and Ella is just the latest girl whose heart I will break. I will _not_ lose focus."

xxx

/

"Alright Team Dude," Tyler said as he dashed into a courtyard with an armful of statue pieces, "let's build ourselves a _Venus_! Woohoo!" He was followed by Scott, Ezekiel, and Geoff, all of them running excitedly.

The camera panned to the right, where Sammy was leading the rest of Team Universe to the same courtyard. "I guess this is the place," she said, turning her head back to her teammates. "Let's just put them down over there."

The shot cut to a close-up of the floor as both teams through their statues pieces into one big heap.

"Hey! You got some of your _Venus_ in our _David_!" Sugar angrily accused.

"No, you got _your_ David in _our_ Venus!" Tyler countered. The two teams began to argue, and the camera panned to the left to show Sierra and DJ walking up with statue pieces in their arms.

"Huh, glad we got here last," Sierra said after she and DJ shared a bewildered look.

"True that," DJ said. "I just hope Shawn gets here soon with the rest of our statue."

/

A flash immediately took the scene to Shawn, who was backing warily down a corridor with a few statues pieces of his own, including part of the base and one of the legs. "Okay, just gotta regroup with the others," he told himself, "assuming they're still _alive_ , and then make sure we have everything. No problem."

He promptly backed into something, which the camera pulled back to show was the sasquatch admiring a painting. It looked down and growled at Shawn in annoyance, causing the survivalist to yelp and dart away.

The music took a dramatic spike as Shawn promptly ran into the bear, who had apparently been trying to restart its chainsaw. It succeeded just then and brandished the weapon at Shawn with a menacing roar. Shawn screamed, then screamed harder when he tripped over and into a conveniently-placed golf cart.

"Wait a minute," he blinked as he righted himself and grinned, "this is great!" He started the cart, and sped off with the bear hot on his tail.

/

The scene cut back to the courtyard where Geoff was slumped down and looking sad.

"Uggh, seriously?" Scott told him while picking up what looked like an arm. "Stop _moping_ already and help sort out our statue!"

"Dude, lay off!" Tyler chided as he watched Ezekiel lift a piece of their statue, which already had complete legs. "He's just missing his girlfriend, you don't need to make him feel worse about it."

"Pfft," Scott scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Tyler turned his attention back to Ezekiel and the statue. "Put the middle piece under the wide part," he directed. "The rotate the thingy straightwise," he rotated his arms in hands in what was apparently a demonstration, "no no no," he said with a smile and handwave, " _under-over_."

"I...what?" Ezekiel asked in confusion, eyes wide as he heaved what looked like a piece of torso onto what they already had. "That doesn't make a whole lotta sense, eh."

The camera panned over to Team Universe, who had completed a little bit less of their statue. "I'm telling you," Alejandro said to Scarlett as he grabbed a small piece of marble and placed it firmly on top of the statue in a position close to him, "this piece goes _here_!"

"Are you _blind_?!" Scarlett retorted. "The fractures don't match at all! _Clearly_ it's a piece of the other team's statue."

" _Please_ ," Alejandro said dismissively, "the piece was merely chipped in the fall! More importantly, the shape and texture fit _exactly_ what we need here."

Sugar was shown scowling with her hands on her hips, and the camera panned over to Sammy and Ella.

"So, umm, what exactly were you and Alejandro doing before?" the cheerleader asked hesitantly.

"Oh, we were just ending a _wonderfully_ romantic duet," Ella explained with a bashful blush. "I really feel like we've made a big step today as a couple!"

Sammy's eyes widened briefly. "Umm...you... _did_ watch the other seasons, right?" she asked even more hesitantly than before. "Because Alejandro's not exactly..."

"Oh, that's just rumors and exaggerations," Ella said with a pout and handwave. "Alejandro has been nothing but a gentleman to me. I really think we're in love!"

"...if you say so," Sammy said uncertainly.

/

The scene skipped forward to a close-up of the photo of the 'Venus di Milo' before the camera cut to Geoff looking at it, scratching his head, then sending confused looks off-screen along with Scott and Ezekiel.

The shot cut to their statue, which had the lower torso correct...and that was about it. The upper torso wasn't oriented right at all, it had no head, and the arms were both completely different from each other and the rest of the statue. Tyler was leaning against it proudly.

"Uh, I don't think this is right, dudes," Geoff said with a frown.

"Aww, seriously?" Tyler groaned in disappointment.

"There! All done!" Sugar declared as the focus cut to her slamming a head down on her team's statue. The camera immediately zoomed out and rotated around, revealing that not only was the head on backwards, but the torso wasn't aligned properly and the limbs had been completely jumbled around.

"No, no it isn't," Scarlett deadpanned.

Alejandro looked up from the photo he was checking and said, "I'm afraid she's right, Sugar." He handed the photo over to the skeptical pageant queen, and the camera showed it in close-up.

"Well at least you guys got all your pieces," DJ spoke up, the camera quick-panning to where he and Sierra were trying to keep a mostly-complete-but-top-heavy statue balanced.

/

"Aaaaaah!" Shawn's scream echoed through the otherwise empty halls, the background music become tense and dangerous again as the scene moved back to the chase. With his pieces of of 'The Thinker' in the back seat and the chainsaw-wielding bear keeping a distressing pace behind him, he was looking rather panicked.

"Okay," he told himself, "can't be much farther now! Just gotta find some way to shake the _bear_ , and-"

He was startled into another scream when the vicious goat kid suddenly jumped out from behind a sculpture. Shawn quickly swerved out of the way and the goat landed on the ground, and was promptly tripped over by the bear. "Hah!" he laughed back at them, but his grin rapidly turned back into a frown when he saw the two beasts stand up and growl not at each other, but at him. "Uh-oh," he gulped as the two predators resumed their chase.

xxx

"Y'know, I'd almost like to get chased by actual _zombies_ for once," Shawn told the restroom camera. "At least _then_ I'd know what to do! But a bear with a chainsaw is _not_ what I've been training for, and that goat is just...just, _seriously_?"

xxx

"Okay, keep it steady Sierra," DJ told his teammate as the scene cut back to them keeping most of 'The Thinker' balanced.

"Look out!" the voice of their third member cried out, earning a gasp from Sierra and DJ and a return of the dramatic music as they looked to the side. The camera panned over to the golf cart, revealing that the bear and goat had somehow managed to get on board. Shawn was managing to suppress the goat with his right hand and hold back the bear with the other, but was balanced preciously on one foot as he tried to steer with the other. Swerving erratically back and forth, the shot cut back to Sierra and DJ as they two began to scream.

"Quick, catch!" Shawn shouted, leaning slightly to grab his statue pieces and in doing so allowing the goat to bite down on his arm. He managed to toss them out just as he whizzed past his teammates in the cart, the two watching with shocked and horrified expressions.

The camera panned over to Team Victory, who seemed to have fixed most of their statue's problems. All that was left was the head, which Tyler was currently about to slot into place.

Until the golf cart plowed into both him and the 'Venus di Milo', shattering the statue and crashing the cart.

"What the _heck_?!" Scott exclaimed in fury, gesturing to the remains of their statue.

"Sorry," Shawn said weakly from the wreckage, both bear and goat now unconscious in odd positions on the ground.

"Finally!" Sammy said in relief, a triumphant tune playing as the scene cut back to Team Universe and their completed 'Statue of David'.

"And Team Universe has it!" Chris announced as Scarlett and Sugar low-fived and Ella hugged Alejandro.

"Following in a closed second is Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean," he added over a shot of DJ holding up their 'The Thinker' while Sierra slotted the final piece into the base.

"And this week's losers are," the host said as the camera cut to him, "still somewhat ironically, Team Victory."

The shot cut to the four groaning boys. "Thanks a lot," Scott sneered at Geoff.

"Uhh, excuse me?" Geoff countered indignantly. "What do I have to do with anything? It's not _my_ fault Shawn plowed through our statue."

"He's _your_ friend," Scott said, "you should've tried to stop him!"

"How?!" Geoff asked, arms stretched out in front of him. "Dude was getting attacked! It's a miracle he even _survived_!"

The shot quick-panned to the wrecked golf cart where Shawn was lying face-first on the ground. "It wasn't _that_ bad, actually," he said, weakly lifting his head. "Still, thanks for your concern. And again, I'm _really_ sorry about what happened."

"No worries, dude!" Geoff said as the camera moved back to Team Victory. "We're friends, and friends forgive each other when they accidentally trash each other's stuff. Unlike _some_ people," he gave a pointed glare towards Scott, "who can't accept that accidents happen."

"So what, you don't even _care_ that we just _lost_?" Scott countered. "Some teammate _you_ are."

"Oh, like you have any right to talk," Geoff scoffed. "Besides, we all know you're just trying to blame this on me so you don't get voted out tonight."

"I am not!" Scott protested. "For all we know this was a reward challenge!"

"Oh, it wasn't" Chris interrupted with a laugh as he walked over to the losing team. "Meaning I'll be seeing _your_ butts at elimination in a little while. And I bet it's gonna be a _fun_ one!" he said with a particular lean towards Scott. He started laughing again as he walked past, and Scott hung his head sadly.

/

The scene flashed to the jumbo jet back in the air, flying through the night sky. A mysterious tune began to play as the scene flashed once again to the cargo hold where DJ and Sammy were currently making out.

They broke their kiss and smiled at each other, and Sammy said "I'm so glad your team managed to finish the challenge."

"Me too," DJ replied. "It woulda bit _big time_ having to vote someone off again. And...," his smile faded slightly, "there's somethin' I gotta tell you."

Sammy's face also fell a little as she replied "Really? What?"

DJ took a deep breath. "I saw Dawn again," he told her, causing Sammy's brow to shoot up. "In a hallway after my team split up. I don't know if I was just seein' things or not, but it did lead me to a piece of the statue."

"I...wow," Sammy said blankly. "I'm...not really sure what to make of that."

"Really? 'cause I think Dawn really is tryin' to look out for us," DJ told her.

"..maybe," Sammy conceded. "I want to believe it, but I still don't wanna get my hopes up for something that just seems...impossible."

DJ sighed. "Yeah, I guess I can't blame you. But I hope you don't mind if I do enough hopin' for the both of us, do you?"

Sammy smiled softly at him. "No, I don't mind," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

/

The music took a tenser and more ominous twist as the scene flashed to the dining area, empty except for three members of Team Victory sitting at a table together.

"Look," Scott hissed to Ezekiel and Tyler, the three leaned somewhat closely together, "I know I've done some questionable stuff in the past, but you _gotta_ hear me out on this! We _have_ to vote out Geoff, you saw how he was acting today!"

Tyler frowned and furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about? The guy was just a little bummed his girl wasn't there with him in the City of Love. I'm sure he'll be back in the game in a snap!"

"Yeah, until we go somewhere _else_ that reminds him of her," Scott countered. "And then there's Shawn, him and Geoff have been acting all _chummy_ all of a sudden. I think they made a deal to get back at me for trying to keep Geoff loyal to the _team_ instead of his girl."

"Err, what kind of deal?" Ezekiel asked in confusion.

"Just think about it, okay!" Scott said. "First those two decide to go off 'zombie hunting' alone together, and then later zombie boy just so _happens_ to crash into our statue and cause us to lose? Smells _fishy_ if you ask me."

"So wait," Tyler said with his brow still furrowed, "you're saying that Geoff and Shawn _planned_ to sabotage us so that we'd lose and vote you out?"

"Yeah," Scott answered with a smirk. "Maybe you guys can't see it, but if I were you I know _I_ wouldn't trust anyone spending too much time with someone on another team."

"Dude, I can't believe this," Tyler said harshly, standing up in his seat. "Geoff's like the coolest dude in the world, there's no _way_ he's trying to sabotage the team! I get that you don't wanna go home, but this is too much. I'm leaving." He walked away then and there, leaving Scott scowling and Ezekiel looking anxious.

xxx

"Okay, I know that what Scott said was kinda bogus," Ezekiel explained in the restroom confessional, "but I still just don't really think I can vote him out. Him an' me have been like best buds since season one, eh, and even though he can be a total knob some of the time...well, err, a _lot_ of the time, Scott's still the only person that really hangs out with me. An' I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who hangs out with him, too, so I'd hate to just ditch him when he needs me, eh."

Ezekiel sighed and hung his head. "I feel kinda bad for Geoff, but Scott _does_ have a point that he's not been at his best since Bridgette got booted. And I really _do_ think Scott's just tryin' his best to look out for the team, even if he doesn't really know how."

xxx

A few dramatic beats played as the scene cut to the elimination room where Team Victory was already seated.

"Team Victory, I gotta say I'm a little disappointed in you," Chris told the four as the camera cut to him leaning against his podium with a tray of barf bags in his hand. "You'd think the team with the most wins this season would be the _last_ to lose three of their members, not the first. But sadly, this just isn't the case." The four boys were shown hanging their heads in shame.

"I have peanut-filled barf bags for three of you," the host told them with a motion to the tray. "But one of you did _not_ live up to the spirit of Team Victory, and will take the Drop of Shame. Tyler," the camera immediately cut to a close-up of the jock as he perked up nervously, "you are _not_ that dude."

Tyler breathed a sigh of relief before catching the disgusting bag of peanuts with a grin.

"Ezekiel, same goes for you," Chris added as the shot panned to the right to show the homeschooler eagerly accepting his technically-edible trophy.

A deep note was struck as Geoff and Scott stiffened up, then sent a brief but sharp look at each other.

"And the person going home is..." Chris said with a devious smile, pausing for effect as both the background music and bottom two became tenser. "... _not_ decided yet!" the host announced suddenly, throwing his arms up as if in celebration. "The vote was a tie!" Geoff and Scott's brows shot up in shock, and behind them Tyler and Ezekiel stiffened up.

"Wait, really?" Geoff asked in disbelief, turning around and seeing Ezekiel avert his gaze in shame.

"Surprise surprise," Scott added, turning a light sneer towards Tyler who looked away with a more scornful expression.

"In other words," Chris continued in excitement without acknowledging the remarks, "we get to have a tiebreaker challenge!"

"Easy peasy," Geoff said confidently with another harsh look at his former teammate. "Whatever it is, I got it in the bag!"

"You _wish_ ," Scott shot back.

"In honor of the art-themed challenge your team just blew," Chris told them, "the two of you will have five minutes to paint a picture." The shot pulled back as Chef walked up and slammed two canvas-loaded easels down on the floor between the seats, the podium, and the door on the side of the plane. "Whoever paints the best picture as judged by _moi_ gets to stay."

"No sweat," the party boy said as he and his opponent walked over to their easels. "I'm great at art!"

"Oh, and to make things a little more interesting," Chris added with a sly look, "you two will be painting the _other_ person who voted for you: Tyler for Scott, and Zeke for Geoff." He motioned for the two remaining members of the team to come over, and they did – albeit reluctantly.

"You have five minutes," the host said with a finger raised and his eyes on his watch, "starting... _now_!"

A tune filled with intrigue and drama began to play as Scott and Geoff picked up the palettes and brushes that had been with the easels and set to work. The camera panned across various close-up shots in turn, starting with Geoff sticking his tongue out as he mixed some blue and green paint on his palette, then Scott frowning as he dabbed his brush in brown and started making strokes on his canvas, then Ezekiel trembling anxiously, then Tyler nervously striking a variety of poses. Geoff was shown again looking a little frazzled and with a olive-green smudge on his cheek; Scott was sweating, and somehow left behind a streak of red when he wiped his brow.

The montage picked up its pace along with the music, showing several brush-dabs and looks and gestures from all four boys before the tune finally ended on a dramatic note and the camera zoomed out to show the full room, the two paintings hidden from view.

"Time's up!" Chris announced, and the two competitors promptly stopped painting. He stepped down from his stage and walked over between Scott on the left and Geoff on the right, the boys moving aside to give the host room. Tyler and Ezekiel watched nervously from further out, and the camera cut in close to Chris' face as he considered the two paintings.

"Hmmm...," he murmured as he looked at Geoff as the party-lover grinned nervously. The first painting was finally shown, depicting a somewhat rough portrait that was still completely recognizable as Ezekiel grinning confidently and poorly attempting some sort of gang sign.

" _Hmmmm_...," Chris repeated, rubbing his chin as he turned his attention to Scott's painting. The viewpoint changed as the camera moved to get a look, and it was revealed to be little better than a stick figure rendition of the clumsy jock running in fear from what looked like an anvil, a sword, and a lightning bolt. Scott grinned confidently at the host, but faltered slightly when Chris gave him a narrow side-eyed look.

"Well then, it's obvious who the winner is," Chris said as he walked away from the two with his hands clasped behind his back. Geoff and Scott immediately locked narrowed eyes again, then looked back at the host expectantly. "The final barf bag goes to," the host said, the background music rising dramatically as he picked up the final trophy from his podium then turned around and smiled at the two boys, " _Scott_."

"Yes!" the devious farmer cheered as he caught his peanuts.

"What?!" Geoff exclaimed in confusion. "But my painting was, like, _way_ better than his!"

"In some respects, yes," Chris admitted. "But unfortunately, you missed the point of me having you paint the person who just voted for you. Scott's painting, though _cruder_ , better showed the anger and hate that tells me letting him stick around is gonna be _fun_."

"Aww man...," Geoff said, slumping down as the show's reverent elimination theme began to play.

"Aww, dude, I'm sorry it had to end like this," Tyler said, walking up and giving his now-former teammate a hug. "Eliminated because you weren't mean enough is totally bogus."

"Thanks, bro," Geoff told him, sniffing away a tear. "I'm sure gonna miss you and all my other buddies on the plane."

"I...," Ezekiel nervously spoke up from behind Tyler, catching the attention of both hugging boys. "I'm-"

"Naw, dude, don't worry about it," Geoff told him amicably. "I'm sure you had your reasons for voting me out, and I'm not gonna hold it against you. Just watch your back around Scott, 'kay?"

Ezekiel said nothing, only looking down and away. Behind him, Scott rolled his eyes.

"Good luck with Ella, dude," Geoff told Tyler, slapping him on the arm. "I'm sure you'll figure out how to get her attention. And good luck with the game, too."

"Thanks, dude," Tyler said.

"Umm, _hello_?" Chris interrupted indignantly, forcefully inserting himself between Geoff and Tyler then shoving a parachute pack into Geoff's arms. "This is a _half-hour show_ , so get jumping already!"

"Chill, dude, I'm going," Geoff replied with a frown, slipping the pack on and walking towards the open door on the side of the plane. "Later dudes!" he waved to his former teammates with a happy grin. "I hope you get _everything_ you deserve!"

Scott was briefly shown snorting in contempt before the camera cut back to Geoff. With a whoop of excitement he jumped backwards into the open air, his final shout of "Geronimo!" heard by all five men standing in the elimination chamber with their eyes locked on the door.

/

"That's one more teen off the plane," Chris said as the shot cut to him and Chef in the cockpit as the series' capstone theme began to play. "Will next week be this insane?" he asked his assistant who only looked at him. "Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" The full moon was behind the plane as the camera zoomed out from the windshield, and a shooting star passed by overhead.

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

"I gotta say, I'm a little disappointed I got booted like that," Geoff said as he slowly descended through the night sky. "I mean, I figured I'd go all the way to the end 'cause that's what Bridgette did after I got booted in season one. Oh well," he shrugged nonchalantly, "maybe I'll win the competish some other time."

"And speaking of Bridgette," he said with a rapidly-widening smile, "at least now I'll totally get to see her again! And _nobody_ is gonna get in our way."

He stopped talking when he noticed the radio antenna rising up behind him. "Whoa," he said absentmindedly, looking down as the shot zoomed out to show him floating down towards the Eiffel Tower. The camera cut in to the edge of what looked like an open-air restaurant area where two handsome-looking men, one white and one brown-skinned, appeared to be enjoying a romantic dinner together. They were interrupted by Geoff floating down in front of them, his parachute getting caught on the guardrail while they looked on in horror.

"Sorry for droppin' in on you, dudes!" Geoff called to them. "Mind giving me a hand, though? I'm kinda stuck here." He kind of wiggled and struggled with his parachute pack, and the couple shared a wide-eyed look.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And here we have Geoff's elimination. It was sad to see him go, but unfortunately necessary for the direction I want the plot to take. He had pretty a good run - had some great times, made up with his girlfriend, got a new buddy in Tyler. I hope everyone is okay, at least, with his method of elimination - without a two person team I couldn't justify the walk-off fashion show used in canon, meaning I needed a different tiebreaker. The painting challenge seemed like it would work pretty well, so that's what I went for. And for the record, the background music that played during it was the same used for the bank heist and (I think) the submarine escape challenges from last season.

Speaking of music, I actually based the melody of this week's musical number (entitled "The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me") off an existing piece of music - 'Sentimental Tango' by Andre Loppe, which you can find on Youtube. It's a mixture of traditional French bal-musette and tango, which I found appropriate given the location, theme of the song, and primary singers (though I do believe Alejandro is Peruvian or perhaps Bolivian rather than Argentinian). I hope you enjoyed the song!

The only other thing I'd like to note right now is that I decided to use change the baby seal to the baby goat because the seal never actually appeared in the Shuffled trip to the Yukon.

All that aside, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward to next week! It's gonna be the end of the second quarter, meaning you can expect something big.

Until next time!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)

Bridgette - (13th Place)

Geoff - (12th Place)


	11. Chapter 11 - Jamaica Me Sweat

**Author's Note**

And here we are, the finale of the second quarter! I hope you're all excited for it, I know I am. Next week is the second Aftermath, which hasn't been quite completed yet as Aftermaths are always pains to write, but I have a strong idea of how to finish up the episode. It might be a little bit of a rush to finish everything on time tomorrow, but I'm feeling confident in myself this season.

With not much else to say, let's get on to the reviews!

 **Yandere Triangle Monster:** Ddynamo, I believe? No worries about the lack of reviews regardless, I know it happens. And yeah, this week is Jamaica, next week is the Aftermath, and after that...well, you'll just have to wait a couple weeks to find out.

 **Animation Adventures:** Hah, yeah, I kinda feel like I should've been doing more to showcase Ezekiel's loyalty to Scott this season, but whatever. People would probably still be shocked to see him vote Geoff out, but I think it worked for everyone involved. Glad you liked the tiebreaker, by the way. I've been going for things that aren't completely rigged like the Gwen vs Courtney thing in canon, but which can still seem unfair because it is ultimately Chris deciding who to keep around. More importantly, though, I'm super happy that you liked Alejandro and Ella's development last chapter - Alejandro isn't interested in dating her, like you said, but at the same time doesn't want her out of his grasp. He knows he's gonna have to turn her down in some way eventually, but only time will tell what'll happen then.

 **I. M. Poik:** Yeah, I figured going into this season that Team Universe going so long without a proper elimination was gonna be a big complaint. But, well, I'm prepared to accept that since I know why I'm doing it. I just hope you and everyone else understands it at the end. And hey, at least the teams are still balanced better than in canon, in that we've had too teams face elimination by now instead of only one.

 **DSX62415:** Oh don't worry, I'll do my best to give everyone what I feel they deserve this season.

 **aloasa:** Hah, yeah, I'm not surprised you thought I was making a typo with the name of the Louvre at first. It can be hard to get that kind of thing across in text sometimes, but I think I did a good job. I'm glad you liked Alejandro and Ella's duet, as well as what happened with Sugar and Sierra. I hope you continue to enjoy the twists and turns the plot will take you throw today and in the weeks ahead.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Yeah, I figured I was kinda telegraphing Geoff's elimination a little hard, but sometimes you gotta do that - not everything can come out of nowhere. Glad you liked Alejandro's development, though his feelings towards Ella aren't really...'feelings' in the sense that I think you mean. Nor would I call his internal struggle one between his 'evil' self and his 'actual' self...but, well, that's not something I wanna go into further detail about right now. Glad you're liking Sierra's side plot, as well as the other stuff going on, and I hope you enjoy the next few chapters!

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** Glad you liked the chapter so much! And I'm not very familiar with MLP:FiM, much less that particular...movie, I think it was? So I'll take you word for it that the tones are similar.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks as always!

 **FOWLKON:** Oho, I can tell you've thought that idea through. As for what really happens...well, you'll find out soon enough.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Glad you're intrigued by Alejandro and Ella, and I hope you like the direction I take those two in. And yeah, that's what I was going for with Chris in the tiebreaker - he definitely wanted to keep the contestant who would cause the most drama. And yeah, the third quarter is gonna be pretty different with three teams going into it.

 **VIPGuest:** Yeah, no. Between his brown skin and canon making it pretty clear he's from South America (rewatch the China episode to see what I mean), and almost certainly from either Peru or Bolivia. The writers probably just mixed up Spanish and hispanic.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Ahh, I see what you mean. Yeah, sometimes the obvious person to go home isn't the one who does, but that's not how it turned out last week. Glad you liked Ezekiel's development, though I'm still not entirely sure I've explored his friendship with Scott as much as I'd like. And yeah, while most fans probably have already seen the series, I don't want to risk spoiling someone by assuming that everyone has.

 **bruno14:** Yup, pretty good summary! I hope you like what happens this week.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Yeah, time sure has flown. Hard to believes I';m about halfway through World Tour, and over halfway done with the Shuffled series as it's currently planned. I did consider Geoff getting further in the game, but as I still have a bunch of others I wanna develop (including Tyler and Ella) I decided it was his time to go. I won't go into much detail about what'll happen with the villains right now, but I do hope you enjoy this week's chapter!

 **OMAC001:** Haha, glad you liked the tiebreaker.

 **Guest #1:** You know, sometimes when a writer has someone say in private that they aren't in love with someone else, they mean it.

 **TaitanoRules555:** I'm not sure if I'd call her creepy myself, but I can agree with the sentiment.

 **Guest #2:** I know a lot of people don't like the shortened intros, but honestly I kinda like them and I don't really see a reason to expand them for Shuffled All-Stars and Shuffled Pahkitew Island.

 **Knifez:** Refer to my reply to Guest #1 regarding Ellajandro. And yeah, this week is basically forced to be Jamaica since otherwise I'd have to completely rewrite the crash scene somewhere else, which would be just weird. And for the rest...well, I can't really react now without giving things away so I'll just say that I'm looking forward to seeing your reaction to this episode.

 **Star Saber21:** Haha, glad you liked the continuation of the running joke of Shawn vs Bears. Not much else I can say, other than that I hope you enjoy what happens with Dawn/DJ/Sammy and Alejandro/Ella, when it happens. Thanks for the review.

 **wifishark:** Had to come back and add this as you reviewed while I was breaking for dinner...and yeah, I suppose it was obvious who was gonna go between Geoff and Scott.

That's it for now! As usual, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work. I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far!

The remaining contestants are as follows:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Scott, Tyler

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Shawn, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Scarlett

Are you ready for the finale to the second quarter? I hope so, because it's about to get big. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 11 – Jamaica Me Sweat**

"Previously, on Total Drama World Tour!" the recap opened on a shot of the jet flying over the Arc de Triomphe at night. "The competitors were exposed to a little culture," Chris said as the plane was shown skidding to a stop in front of the Eiffel Tower, "as a field trip to the Louvra sent them scavenging through the world's _most_ important works of art." Team Universe was shown carrying their statue pieces to the pyramid court; Team Victory was shown considering their statue's head through the field of security lasers that were guarding it; and each member of Team Chris was shown wandering around on their own, having decided to split up.

"While _someone_ ," the host added with a chuckle as Chef was shown delivering the oversized crate and wiping the sweat from his brow, "had them chased by a bear," the chainsaw-wielding bear was shown chasing Team Chris, "a yeti," the sasquatch was shown chasing after Scarlett and Sugar, "aaaand a seriously vicious goat." The third animal was shown chasing after Team Victory, then leaping out to attack Shawn as he tried to drive the golf cart.

"Meanwhile, _Ella_ decided to take the opportunity to go on a _date_ with Alejandro," the host continued over various shots of the singer's amorous advances. "Too bad for her," Chris laughed, "nobody else on their team was feeling it, not even _Alejandro_." Scarlett was shown interrupting their almost-kiss, and Alejandro was shown not only resisting Ella's attempts but also confessing his lack of feelings for the girl in the plane's restroom.

"A _hilarious_ freak accident by Shawn caused Team Victory to lose," Chris continued over shots of Shawn crashing the golf cart into the near-finished 'Venus di Milo' while trying to fend off the bear and goat. "And with Scott managing to keep Ezekiel on his side," part of the homeschooler's confessional was shown, "the vote ended up a _tie_." Scott and Geoff were shown reacting with shock at the result.

"And sadly for chronic nice guy _Geoff_ ," Chris himself was shown announcing the results of the tiebreaker, "he just wasn't able to put enough passion into his artwork." The party boy was shown taking the Drop of Shame after one last goodbye to his teammates.

"But now," Chris said as the scene flashed to the cockpit, "it's time to dump the kids in yet another mystery location. Will they survive? Will the world survive them? Find out, right here, right now," he pointed straight at the camera, "on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

/

The episode opened on a shot of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet flying through a heavy rainstorm, the camera lingering for a few seconds before switching to the telltale static that marked the beginning of a confessional.

xxx

"With Party Boy gone and Zeke on my side," Scott opened with a confident smirk, "I'm finally feeling good again about my position in the game. No _way_ am I getting voted out if we lose, so I think it's finally time to start _strategizing_ with Sugar again. All I gotta do is get her attention, then I'll be back in control of the whole competition." He started snickering, and rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

xxx

The scene moved to economy class, where most of the members of Team Victory and Team Chris sat in awkward silence broken only by the steady dripping coming from the roof. The three boys of Team Victory were shown sitting on the 'left' wall, Scott and Tyler determinedly not looking at one another with Ezekiel sitting between them. "C'mon guys, can't we all just be cool with each other?" he asked the two.

"No," Scott and Tyler said in unison.

On the opposite wall, DJ smiled at Shawn. "Man, I'm glad I'm not them right now," he said. "We might have just as many people, but at least we all _like_ each other."

"True," Shawn nodded. "Plus, none of us would mess with a teammate's head and then use them feeling bad as an excuse to vote them off."

"Yo, lay off Scott, okay!" Ezekiel exclaimed in offense. "I know what he did was a mistake, but he was only tryin' to keep our team strong. There's nothin' wrong with wantin' us to win, eh." Tyler made a noise of disagreement, but said nothing.

"Hey, thanks for sticking up for me," Scott told Ezekiel, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. "I really appreciate it, man."

"No problem, eh," the homeschooler replied, and the two farmers bumped fists.

"Now if you _gentlemen_ will excuse me," Scott said while standing up, "I gotta go take a leak."

A deep and dramatic tune began to play as Scott walked away, the camera and the eyes of the other boys following him as he left.

/

The scene flashed to the corridor between economy class and first class where Scott was now walking through, and almost immediately the dramatic music was drowned out by a loud siren.

"Gahh, I guess _stalker girl_ is still using the confessional," he grumbled, putting his hands on his ears and trudging onwards. He passed the door to the restroom confessional and gave a brief glare up at the red light that was making the obnoxious noise, then smiled to himself. "Guess now's as good a time as any to do," he told himself as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small folded-up piece of paper. He crumpled it into a ball, then with a sneaky grin he tiptoed toward the curtain separating the corridor from first class.

/

An elegant tune began to compete with the muted siren that was still going off as the camera moved into the more luxurious passenger compartment. Alejandro, Ella, and Sammy were shown leaned back and enjoying facials, and the shot panned over to Scarlett and Sugar sitting at the juice bar.

"So, got any bright ideas to get ourselves outta this mess?" the pageant queen asked her ally before downing her glass of juice.

"No," Scarlett grunted, slamming her own glass onto the counter. "Unless Sammy suddenly decides to _stop_ considering my past actions, I'd say my chances of making it past a vote – and subsequently _yours_ if the merge doesn't occur soon – are rather miserable." She paused, and grit her teeth at the continued wail in the background. "Almost as miserable at that accursed SIREN!" she shouted, pounding her fist on the counter. She and Sugar swiveled around in their seats, and the evil genius screamed "WOULD YOU JUST COME BACK AT ANOTHER TIME?!" towards the curtained corridor.

As it happened, it was right then that a freckly arm casually tossed a crumpled-up ball of paper at Sugar. "Oww! Hey, watch it!" the pageant queen complained when it hit her in the eye.

"Wait, was that...?" Scarlett said, ignoring her ally's discomfort to stare questioningly at the doorway to the corridor as the freckled arm disappeared behind the curtain. She looked at Sugar, who quickly noticed and crumpled-up the paper even further.

"Oh, probably just one of the boys throwin' their _trash_ in here outta spite," Sugar told Scarlett with a slightly nervous chuckle. "You sit tight, I'll go throw it away and give 'em a piece of my mind."

"Okay...," Scarlett said in a slightly skeptical tone as Sugar walked towards the connecting corridor, the siren briefly pausing before the pageant queen's proximity set it off again.

The camera cut to follow her, catching her muttering "Dang _Scott_ , now why'd he have to go an' do that for?" angrily under her breath. She paused suddenly and gasped, her eyes going wide before the shot panned over to the restroom door – it had been cracked open just enough for Sierra to peek through, and the fangirl slammed it shut as soon as she saw Sugar seeing her.

xxx

"Oh em _gee_ ," Sierra excitedly told the confessional camera, the siren still wailing outside, "forget _everything_ I was just talking about because I totally just got the scoop I've been looking for!" She raised her arms energetically. "I was looking outside to see who was trying to eavesdrop, and I totally caught Scott throwing something into first class then walking away with that _devious_ little smirk he gets when he's scheming. And _then_ I saw _Sugar_ enter the hallway looking _pretty_ annoyed! She was holding something in her hand, I couldn't really see what it was, but I just _know_ it was whatever Scott threw in there. And that can only mean one thing: _Scott_ passed a _message_ to _Sugar_ , which means they really _are_ in a secret alliance!"

Her excited grin was drawn away from the camera by a sudden pounding on the door. "Hey!" Sugar's muffled voice yelled. "Hurry up in there, let someone _else_ have a turn!"

"And now she's totally mad that I saw her!" Sierra whispered to the camera with an excited squeal.

xxx

Sugar began her confessional by giving an angry sideways glare at the door as she sat down, the siren now notably absent. "Well ain't that a kick in the keister," she sniffed in contempt before turning her attention to the ball of paper she was quickly unfolding. "'Meet me in the usual place in ten minutes if you can!'" she read aloud before crumpling the paper back up with an angry look.

"What was that boy thinkin' tryin' to talk to me so soon?" she asked in annoyance. "Couldn't he have waited until _after_ the next challenge?" She threw her arms up in exasperation, then crossed them bitterly. "Because of him, not only did that nosy _Sierra_ see us, but now _Scarlett's_ startin' to suspect somethin' too. I haven't told her about my other alliance, on account of me wantin' people to think I'm just a simple country beauty queen, but now Scott's just about ruined my whole set up!"

She took a deep, frustrated breath. "Maybe I really _will_ cut him loose soon. I can't let him drag me down." She pursed her lips thoughtfully, then reached inside her blouse and took out a familiar pink envelope. "And then there's _this_ ," she said, turning the envelope over in her hands. "I just _know_ this is gonna be my secret weapon, I just gotta figure out how to use it to save my butt."

xxx

The scene cut to the world map as the plane icon flew across the Atlantic from France to the Caribbean, then cut again to a head-on shot of the actual jet. It was still raining, but importantly – and ominously – one of the engines on the left wing suddenly sputtered and let out a burst of smoke. The plane tilted and shook, and the camera moved to the cockpit.

"Umm, are we outta gas?" Chris asked Chef.

"Yes," the hulking man answered, "'cause _you_ spent all our gas money."

Chris picked up the transmitter for the intercom, cleared his throat, and said "Attention, passengers!" One of the speakers was shown, followed by Alejandro and Ella lifting cucumber slices from their eyes to look at it in first class, Team Chris looking up at the one in economy, and Team Victory doing the same on the other side of the cabin. "AAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAA!" Chris screamed, the shot cutting outside to show the plane out of the rain but in a nosedive and trailing smoke. The scream continued over shaking shots of the teams panicking, first in economy and then in first class.

"Oh em gee, what are we supposed to _do_?!" Sammy exclaimed in panic while she, Alejandro, and Ella struggled to hold on to their seats and Scarlett and Sugar suddenly went tumbling towards the back of the room.

"S-surely this is just another one of Chris' _jokes_ , right?" Ella asked frantically.

"I really don't think so!" Sammy told her. Both girls began to stumble and fall towards the back of the room, only to be quickly caught by Alejandro to a rising triumphant tune.

"Stay calm, señoritas!" he told them, pulling them back towards the seats. "All we can do now is buckle our seatbelts and hope that Chef is a good enough pilot to land us safely!" He managed to return them both to their seats, and all three sat down.

"I hope he is!" Sammy said as she fumbled with her belt.

/

The scene flashed to economy class, where the six contestants were having a much more difficult time.

"Stupid economy belts!" Scott exclaimed as the seatbelt he'd attempted to tie snapped off.

"We gotta hold onto something!" Shawn declared, and the shot pulled back to show most of the six clinging on to either the luggage compartments or each other. They all started screaming.

The screams continued as the scene cut outside to a picturesque beach sandy beach, a lovely tune briefly playing before the loud, dramatic music reasserted itself just in time for the plane to drop unceremoniously onto the shore, kicking up a cloud of sand with a long chanted note.

/

The footage skipped forward, showing the contestants, host, and pilot gathered on the beach with an inflatable slide leading out of the rear door of the plane.

"Two airports on an island the size of a postage stamp," Chris said, "and he misses _both_." He gave Chef an annoyed look. "But somehow, it's _my_ fault."

"You blew our money for the _season_ on ' _Chris-work_ '!" Chef shot back.

"Yes, well, regardless of which one of you is to blame," Alejandro said as he walked up while brushing the sand off his clothes, "we all still could have _died_ back there."

"You all look okay to me," Chris said, quickly looking over the teens.

" _Barely_ ," DJ said, wincing as he touched his right elbow. "And that's not even counting the fact that most of us in economy got banged up pretty bad!"

"Ehh, you'll be _fine_ ," the host said with a jovial handwave.

"So, uhh, what do we do now?" Sammy asked.

"Well, we're outta gas," Chris said with a finger on his lip as the background music took a slightly dramatic turn again, "the plane's busted, aaand we're broke." He shrugged, then grinned and raised a finger high. "But, the show must go on! We can't waste _any_ of this footage, think of the hits we'll get on ClipTube!" He spread his arms emphatically wide as the shot pulled away from him again.

"Where _are_ we?" Tyler asked with a wide-eyed look around.

"Jamaica, mon!" Chris answered in an attempted Jamaican accent as a steelpan took over the background music. "We were _supposed_ to land in Ochos Rios, but, since _somebody_ forgot how to _fly_ ," he shot a pointed look at Chef who just glared back, "we'll have to do the challenges here instead. And fast," he added as the camera moved back to him, "before whoever owns this dump shows up and asks for a location fee."

"Did you guys not budget for the whole season?" Shawn asked in confusion as the steelpan was replaced by a trilling, high-pitched tune.

"Some things cost more than expected," Chris explained defensively. "Airplane-ready hot tubs don't grow on trees, y'know."

"No emergency fund?" Shawn followed up.

"Spent it on our last fuel-up," Chris told him.

"And _that_ was money well spent," Scott said dryly.

"Grab your board shorts and meet me at the waterfall," Chris told the group as he and Chef walked off, the high-pitched music reaching a dramatic end.

/

The scene flashed forward to the contestants walking across the beach to the right side of the screen in their swim suits, separated mostly by team but spread out even then. The camera focused in on Sierra as she hustled to catch up with Shawn, then shielded her mouth with her hand. "Psst!" she hissed, immediately getting his attention. "Now that we're alone, I wanna tell you what I saw on the plane earlier!"

"It wasn't a _zombie_ , was it?" Shawn whispered back with a hint of nervousness.

"No, this is better," Sierra told him before putting a finger to her lip and uncertainly adding, "or _worse_ , depending on how you look at it. The point is," she shook her head, "I _totally_ saw Scott throw something into first class while I was in the confessional, and then a few seconds later Sugar came out looking all annoyed about it! And then she was all mad when she saw that I had seen her!"

"Wow," Shawn said blankly. "You think there's something going on between those two?"

" _Duh_ ," Sierra said flatly, "I've been trying to tell people that for awhile now. But now I finally have proof!"

"Huh," Shawn said with a thoughtful look. "Tell me _more_..."

A few dramatic notes played before the scene skipped ahead again.

/

The camera was now focused on a series of waterfalls flowing out from the side of a cliff and into a rocky lagoon far below. The host and contestants could just be made out standing at the top of it, and Scott could be heard laughing at something.

"Hey, nice _shirt_ ," he taunted before the camera cut to a close-up of the host and steelpan started playing again.

"It's a dashiki, mon," Chris corrected, motioning to the green, black, and red garment; a large rasta cap completed his appropriated attempt at a stereotypical Jamaican outfit.

"Yeah," DJ laughed as the camera cut to him in his swim shorts and, oddly enough, his usual shirt, "a _woman's_ dashiki!"

"What?!" Chris said in shock.

"Can we please just get to the challenge?" Scarlett asked in annoyance, the shot cutting to Team Universe in their swim suits, the collared brainiac included.

"I like to call our first challenge," the host said as the shot pulled back to show the full cast, "'The _Treasure Hunt_ of _Death_ '! We were supposed to do this at Dunn's River Falls, but! This far more _dangerous_ waterfall will have to do!" he explained, motioning to the waterfalls behind him.

"Sooo...it's another water challenge?" DJ asked, strangely not nervously.

"'fraid so," Chris told him. "Wanna say a few prayers?"

"No need, I came prepared!" DJ said with a curt hand wave before pulling off his shirt and revealing the life vest underneath that he promptly inflated.

xxx

"After nearly drowning in Newfoundland," DJ explained in the restroom confessional with his life jacket on, "wearing a life jacket full time just makes sense!" he squeezed the inflatable thing a little. "My teammates understand."

xxx

"Your challenge begins with a dive off beautiful 'Wherever-we-are Falls'," Chris explained in a long-distance shot of the waterfall, "into the lagoon far below."

"Err...it's not filled with sharks, is it?" Ezekiel asked.

"Nope!" Chris answered with a smile, the contestants all sighing in relief off-screen. "Electric eels _and_ sharks!" the host corrected.

"Players must tag-team dive into the infested water for as long as you can hold your breath," he explained as the camera cut to the surface of the lagoon while a shark fin moved across it, "to search the lagoon floor for _pirate treasure_!" The camera cut into the water, showing a shark and several eels swimming around; it panned down to the bottom, where something golden laid in the open maw of a ferocious-looking skeleton.

"Aka, the gold chains Chef always wears on karaoke night," Chris clarified as the shot cut back to him. "First team to bring me Chef's treasure wins a _major_ advantage in the next challenge. So! Good luck!Especially to Team Victory and Team I Am So Incredibly Vicious. You're both down two members to Team Universe, so you'll have to work _extra_ hard to stay in the game."

Team Chris shared a look and shrugged. "We're used to it," Shawn said.

"Lucky us," Scott smirked as the shot cut to Team Victory, "we have Tyler here to do all the dives!"

"Yeah!" Tyler said in excitement before his face fell into a scowl. " _Wait_..."

xxx

"Hey, if Tyler wants to stick around, he's gonna have to put in a lot of work," Scott told the confessional camera. "Not that it'll actually _help_ , but what does he know?"

xxx

"Hoo! Let's do this!" Tyler cheered as the scene cut to him, Alejandro, and DJ lined up at the top of the cliff; a triumphant tune played in the background.

"Might as well just _hand_ me the victory," Alejandro said confidently.

"Pssh, you _wish_ ," DJ told him.

"Ready, steady, freddy," Chris said behind them as they prepared to jump, " _go_!" At his hand signal, the three boys dived off.

"Woohoo! Wha-oh no!" Tyler said, his cheers quickly turning into panic as he flailed his arm in a head-first dive.

"Momma!" DJ screamed, pinching his nose as he fell bottom-first.

Alejandro seemed to have executed a perfect swan dive, but gasped at the last second – the camera panned down to show a shark circling the area he was about to land in.

"You can do it Alejandro!" Ella called out encouragingly from the top of the cliff.

The camera cut underwater, showing Alejandro wrestling with the shark; DJ's legs dangling just below the surface in the background; and Tyler holding his breath and trying to look around in the foreground. With an anxious look on his face, he dove down and out of sight.

xxx

"I don't see well underwater," the jock admitted to the confessional camera. "I guess it's a trade-off for my _super-strong_ fingers," he said with a proud look at his digits. He waggled his right pinky and bragged "This one can bench-press 80 pounds!"

xxx

Alejandro coughed as he crawled back onto shore. "Perhaps I misjudged this...," he told himself before looking back over his shoulder at Tyler, who had just surfaced.

"Hoo! I got the chains!" he announced excitedly, the camera cutting in close just as he realized he was holding an electric eel. "Oh no...," he said again before getting shocked.

The shot panned over to DJ, who was still floating on the water thanks to his life jacket. "Just gotta..," he told himself before taking a breath and attempting to dive again, immediately failing due to his jacket. "Okay, slip off the jacket," he told himself, "you can _do_ this, DJ!" He attempted to dive again while pulling his jacket off at the same time, but failed once again. "No I can't!" he said after taking a deep, gasping breath. "Okay, maybe I should let the others try."

The background music became tenser as the scene cut to the top of the cliff as Alejandro reached it and tagged Sammy. "You might wanna check around the edge of the lagoon," he told her, "the shark stopped me from looking myself."

"I'll keep that in mind," Sammy told him before diving off the cliff and landing easily in the lagoon.

"Best two outta three?" Tyler told Scott and Ezekiel as he ran up to them on the cliff, then passed them by despite both holding out their hands to be tagged. He swan dived into the lagoon, and almost immediately surfaced holding a tire. "Woohoo, yeah!" he cheered before realizing what he'd actually gotten. "Ohh, man!"

DJ tagged Sierra and the fangirl launched herself into a cannonball; the shot pulled back to show the whole cliff as Sierra's splash reached all the way to the top. "Whoa, watch it!" DJ cringed as a wave washed over him and Shawn, depositing an eel on the survivalist's head.

"Yeah, that-" Shawn said as he reached up to grab the eel and got shocked the moment he laid hands on it. "Oww..."

The focus moved to Sugar as Sammy ran up. "Well that was a bust," the cheerleader said as she tagged her teammate. "Good luck!"

"Thanks," Sugar chuckled, "but I don't think I need it!" She took a deep breath, then belly-flopped off the cliff. She landed painfully, the camera briefly cutting away to show Sammy and Ella wincing before showing the pageant queen sinking into the lagoon. "I regret nothin'!" she declared, her words turning into gurgling bubbles as she went below the water.

The camera lingered there, zooming out just a little as Tyler dived in again nearby. He surfaced almost immediately holding a large and broken grandfather clock over his head. "Hoo! I got i-" he looked up as the clock donged. "Aww, come _on_!"

A trilling tune played as the camera cut to the blazing sun before panning down to Shawn, who had removed his wool cap and was now wiping his forehead with it. "Man, this better end fast. I don't wanna have to face a zombie attack with _sunburn_."

"Your turn!" Sierra said, running up behind him and slapping him on the shoulder, causing him to wince.

"Good," he told her as he rubbed his tender shoulder, "I could use the cool-down." The footage cut to him diving into the water, then looking around within the lagoon. An ominously tense tune played as a shark was seen swimming close towards him; he quickly looked around, then saw it coming straight at him. He swam away as fast as he could, narrowly dodging a bite and losing the shark behind some large rocks. He looked around and had to stifle a gasp when he spotted the gold chains lying in the skeletal jaw nearby, and quickly swam towards them.

The camera cut to Sugar noticing him, then narrowing her brow and swimming towards him. The music turned triumphant as the scene moved back to the water's surface as Shawn emerged holding out the gold chain and shouting "I got it!", but quickly resumed it's tension and thrill as the survivalist was suddenly pulled back under, causing DJ and Sierra to gaps in concern.

Shawn quickly surfaced once again, as did Sugar, and the two had started a tug-of-war over the gold. "Let go!" Shawn demanded. "I found it first!"

"Not a chance!" Sugar declared. "The only one who's gonna be takin' that gold is _Sugar_!"

As the background music picked up it's pace again the shot cut to the top of the cliff where most of the others watched closely, some with concern and others with eager expressions. The camera focused on Scott, who frowned in displeasure then dashed away from the cliff's edge. He ran over to Tyler, who had apparently just added a couch to the pile of useless objects he'd pulled out of the water, then tagged the jock and said "My turn!"

He dove into the lagoon himself, landing near where Shawn and Sugar were still fighting but not close enough to distract them for more than a moment. That is, of course, until he swam over and joined in the clash for the pirated treasure, unaware that an eel was draped over his shoulder.

"Hey! What do you think yer doin'?!" Sugar asked sharply, trying to pull the gold chain away from both boys.

"What does it _look like_?" Scott replied, his tone just as sharp as he tried to pull the chain away from Shawn with Sugar.

"Well I know what it looks like to me," Shawn told them both, doubling down his efforts to pull the chain away from them. "And _also_...," he smirked before headbutting Scott, startling the electric eel on him and causing it to shock all three of them. The farmer was sent reeling and Shawn managed to yank the gold chain back into his sole possession, swimming away with a grin.

"Not so fast!" Sugar yelled before tackling the survivalist, sending them both underwater for a brief second before they emerged wrestling for the chain again.

The camera pulled back from them, catching Scott still floating in a daze, and the familiar music note logo appeared on-screen with it's usual dings that caused Shawn and Sugar to freeze.

"You want us to sing _now_?!" the survivalist exclaimed up at the cliff top.

"Yup!" Chris replied from the edge overlooking the lagoon. "And I wanna hear from all _three_ of you, Scott included!"

Shawn looked at Scott, who had recovered enough to be rubbing his head in irritation, then sighed. "Fine, let's get this over with."

~/~

[A few metallic drumbeats opened a reggae-like melody joined by a bass guitar, guitar, and organ. The camera focused on Shawn as he treaded water and glared at Sugar, then began to sing.]

" _I've heard the way, that you two always seem, to be around when there's trouble_!"

[Shawn sang accusingly, still keeping a firm grip on the gold chain but swimming a few inches towards Sugar and pointing at her sharply, the pageant star raising her brow nervously.]

" _And Sierra thinks that, and right now I agree, the two of you are a bundle_!"

[Shawn gestured back over his shoulder and the shot cut to Sierra kneeling intently at the edge of the cliff. She smiled mischievously, and the shot cut back down to the water as Shawn pointed his finger right up close to Sugar's face as he emphasized the word 'bundle'. The pageant queen's eyes went wide, and behind them Scott's eyes went wide as well. "Yeah!" Shawn said, backing off slightly and nodding confidently.]

" _Oh, did you? Oh, did you? Oh, oh did you think_?"

[The survivalist sang next with a smug sort of smile, yanking hard enough to nearly pull the gold chain out of Sugar's shocked grasp.]

" _That nobody, was ever gonna, catch you acting all in-sync_?"

[He yanked the gold chain hard again, and this time he was able to get it away from Sugar completely. He began to back away from her slightly, clarifying his lyric by stating "And for the record, I'm talking about you two _working together_."]

" _What can I say_?"

[Sugar began her verse after a short and sad breath.]

" _I might as well come clean_!"

[The camera cut to Scott as she sang her second line, and his eyes somehow bugged out even more and he seemed to freeze in shock.]

" _Don't want this, on my conscience_!"

[The scene moved back to Sugar as she gave a sad look to Shawn, who was now looking awkwardly bewildered. "It's been eatin' at me hard," she told him.]

" _Yer guessin' is right, but please let me explain_!"

[The shot cut to the top of the cliff where the rest of the cast was listening with an assortment of curious looks on their faces.]

" _Me an' Scott, got a secret alliance_!"

["And we've been controllin' the game..." she added out-of-verse, causing Scott to sputter indignantly and swim over with a furious look on his face.]

~/~

The reggae music suddenly stopped when Scott grabbed Sugar by the arm, turned her around to face him, and shouted "What the heck is your _problem_?! You can't just reveal our secret alliance to everyone, it's supposed to be _secret_!"

Up on the cliff, everybody present gasped dramatically – even Chris, though his expression made it clear his surprise was considerably less than genuine.

"Wha... _what_?!" Ezekiel spluttered in utter shock.

"Well too bad!" Sugar countered. "I never wanted to be in an alliance with you in the first place! You tricked me into thinkin' it was the only way I could win, but I don't wanna be a part of it anymore!"

"What are you _talking_ about?!" Scott asked in disbelief. "You were all for it from the beginning!"

"Yeah, sure," Sugar said, "just like _Bridgette_ was secretly hookin' up with _Shawn_."

Scott groaned in displeasure, then looked up at the cliff to see the others murmuring in suspicion. "Seriously, though," he turned his anger back to Sugar, "what the heck is _wrong_ with you? Why would you _do_ this?"

"Hey uhh, not to interrupt," Chris interrupted, "but you _do_ realize-"

"I don't care!" Scott yelled at him harshly. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something right now?!" He snorted angrily, then turned his attention back to Sugar. "So tell me, why the _heck_ did you just blow away all our plans? Do you even realize how big of a mistake that was, or are you too _stupid_ to realize you've just cost both of us the game!"

"Oh, yeah," Sugar said bitterly as tears welled up in her eyes, "attackin' me with yer _words_ to get me to do what you want again. Just like when I didn't wanna distract Beardo so you could mess with their _commercial_ , or when I didn't wanna bump into Team Chris's rope in _New York_ , or when I hesitated before takin' a dive against Geoff in the slap dance challenge so he'd have to face off against Bridgette!"

"New York was _your_ idea!" Scott protested, completely flabbergasted in his outrage. "And you were all _for_ the sabotage in Japan and the Alps!"

"Was not!" Sugar sobbed out a counter. "I only said I was because I was afraid of you, but I'm fed up with bein' scared all the time so I'm stickin' up fer myself! We're _through_!"

She turned her back on him and began to swim away, the camera zooming out to show that Shawn was nowhere to be seen. Scott quickly grabbed her by the arm, though, and spun her back around. "Oh no," he told her fiercely, "I am _not_ gonna let you get away with this! You were in this just as much as I was!"

"No!" Sugar shouted, slapping away his hand. "Enough of yer lies, I ain't gonna let you drag me down with you!" She put her hands on his shoulders than forced him down into the water, then swam off as fast as she could.

Scott surfaced in moments, gasping for air and covered in eels. "Uhh, hello, host of the show here?" Chris called down to him from the cliff top. "So you two-"

"SHOVE IT, MCLEA-AAAAAAHHHH!" Scott tried to shout, but his fury caused the eels clinging to him to let loose and shock him for a good couple of seconds. He was left twitching, and promptly sank into the lagoon.

The background music turned deep and sorrowful as the camera panned to Sugar walking up onto shore. "I'm _so_ sorry!" she sobbed up at the clifftop, the shot cutting up there to show most of the cast watching her, and Ezekiel staring with a gaping mouth down at the lagoon. "Please forgive me!"

The shot cut to her teammates as Alejandro, Sammy, and even Scarlett shared an awkward and taken-aback look. It was Ella, however, who stepped forward and enthusiastically called out "We forgive you Sugar!" The gesture startled the pageant queen for a brief second, but she quickly resumed sobbing and looked over at Team Chris.

Sierra, DJ, and even Shawn – the gold chain in his hands – shared an awkward and uncertain look of their own. Sierra frowned skeptically and looked at her teammates; the camera panned to the right as DJ looked uncertain for a second before giving Shawn a sad smile. The boy in the middle of them stepped forward and awkwardly said "Uhh, okay, I guess? You _do_ seem pretty sorry at least."

"Thank you!" Sugar sobbed, wiping away her tears and smudged make-up with the back of her hand. "Thank you so- wait," she brow suddenly furrowed and her tears suddenly stopped, "why are you up there with them?" she asked the survivalist.

"Oh, uh," Shawn answered awkwardly, "I slipped away while you two were fighting. I have the gold, by the way," he added as an aside to Chris, who was glowering sternly down at the lagoon next to the still-shocked Ezekiel. "Are you gonna help Scott?"

Chris grunted in exasperation, then swiped the gold chain away from Shawn. " _Fine_ ," he said, finally averting his gaze from the lagoon, "I'll have one of the interns rescue him. But he's still in major trouble."

"I'll say," Tyler added angrily.

"Anyway," Chris said after taking a breath and resuming his usual demeanor, "Team Chris is Really Really Really Mean wins round one!" Sierra, Shawn, and DJ cheered at the announcement. Chris turned to the camera and said "Find out what else I have in store for our contestants, and for _Scott_ ," he looked away momentarily to bitterly say the farmer's name then put his smile back on for the camera again, " _after_ the break!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed with most of the cast lined up in their teams on the shore of the lagoon, standing before Chris and Chef – the latter wearing a helmet and carrying a longboard.

"Team Me," the host announced, "as winners of the first challenge, you've also won this advantage for challenge number two." He motioned to Chef, who grinned and pointed to his helmet.

Sierra and DJ gaped in shock and annoyance, but Shawn shrugged. "Can't turn down good headwear," he admitted. "What's next?"

"Oh, just a little something I call...the 'Bobsled of _Death_ '!" Chris declared, spreading his arms wide then curving his fingers in like claws. "Ta-da!" A deep note was struck as Team Chris turned around and gasped.

Behind them was a long, looping, and incredibly shoddy-looking wooden track. A large poster of the host's face had been put up inside a loop-the-loop, and a Jamaican flag was revealed to have been hung from the scaffolding holding up a hill.

"Whoa! No way!" Tyler exclaimed.

"This one's gonna hurt!" DJ added in fear.

"Yeah, the intern who tested it will be outta commish for...," Chris said thoughtfully before looking at Chef, "ten months is it?" Chef grinned and nodded.

"We can't afford bobsleds," he told the contestants, "so, you're gonna ride longboards in teams of two bobsled- _style_! Down Chef's track and into the pool," he added as the hulking man held up his longboard and grinned. Chris pointed to the right, and the camera cut to the empty swimming pool where the track ended. "Each team gets three runs. Fastest total time wins!" He grinned at their shocked faces, but his own soon expression fell into confusion. "Hold on, aren't we missing someone?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, pointing off to his left, "Zeke went to talk to Scott in the infirmary."

"I see...," Chris scowled, putting his hands on his hips.

/

The scene flashed to an infirmary which looked surprisingly well-stocked. On the 'right' side of the room was an open doorway and what looked like a young white man in a full body cast on a stretcher; on the left Scott was lying on a hospital bed with Ezekiel standing at his side.

"That stuff you were sayin' about bein' in a secret alliance was just a joke, right?" Ezekiel asked with a hint of panic in his voice.

"What? No!" Scott replied in disbelief. "I was telling the truth about everything. Don't believe Sugar's innocent act."

"But...but what about all that stuff about us sticking with the _teams_?" Ezekiel followed up. "You always told the rest of us that we shouldn't get too friendly with the others, eh, or it'd hurt our chances in the challenges! That's the whole reason I voted out Geoff last time, because I thought you were lookin' out for us! But all this time you were goin' behind our backs and workin' with Sugar?"

"I...," Scott said with wide eyes, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "That...that was different, man."

"Really?" Ezekiel asked in complete disbelief. "'Cause I'm havin' a hard time figurin' out how, eh!"

"It...it just is!" Scott said, getting flustered. "But that's not important. You need to listen to me-" he grabbed Ezekiel by the shoulders, but the homeschooler shook them off.

"No, _you_ need to listen to _me_ , eh!" he countered angrily. "I _trusted_ you! Even when everyone was gettin' mad at you fer what happened with Geoff, I _defended_ you because I thought you had changed! Because I thought you'd decided to work _with_ yer team and not try an' sabotage 'em! But...but that was just a lie, wasn't it? You never wanted to _work_ with us, you just wanted to _control_ us!"

"No, I just...just let me explain, okay?" Scott tried to plead, but Ezekiel just turned his back on him.

"You've had yer chance, eh," Ezekiel said, the camera cutting in for a close-up of his narrow-eyed and teary face. "We're _done_."

The camera angle returned to it's standard side-shot as Ezekiel walked away, leaving his former friend to clench his eyes and teeth and fists in the infirmary bed.

"Aaaand so is Scott!" the host's voice said suddenly as the tense musical score usually reserved for eliminations began to play. The shot panned to the doorway of the infirmary as both Scott and Ezekiel gasped, and Chris walked in. He walked by the homeschooler without a second glance, making a beeline for Scott and tutting at the bedridden boy the moment he'd reached the foot of the bed. "Oh how the crafty have fallen," he said. "I had such high hopes for you when I decided to keep you n the game last time, but here you've gone and broken the most important rule of the season."

"W-wait, what do you mean?" Scott stammered in rapidly rising panic.

"You didn't sing when you were supposed to," Chris explained sternly. "I specifically said the musical number was for all _three_ of you, but you just ignored that to yell at Sugar and, more _importantly_ , my _self_."

"But...but I was too mad to think straight!" Scott said.

"Don't care," Chris said. "You're still out."

"C'mon, gimme another chance!" Scott pleaded. "I'll sing right now! I'm filled with all _kinds_ of emotion, it'll be _great_!"

"Yeah, no," Chris told him, turning his back on the now-despondent farmer. "I still have the second part of the challenge to run, and we don't have time for another song in a different location. You had your chance, Scott, and you _blew it_. You are _officially_ disqualified from the competition."

A deep note concluded the musical track as Chris walked away from the slack-jawed and bug-eyed ex-contestant. As he exited the infirmary, the camera lingered on Ezekiel. The homeschooler gave one last shocked look at his former teammate, then gulped and steeled himself and left as well.

/

A flash took the scene to the start of the bobsled course, where a pair from each team had lined up with their longboards. In front were Shawn and DJ wearing their helmets; behind them Tyler had put a comforting hand on Ezekiel's shoulder; and in the back Alejandro and Sammy were watching awkwardly.

The shot cut down to the pool where Chris and Chef were now sitting in lounge chairs with glasses of ice water.

"C'mon, man," Chef told the host, "just enjoy what we got here! Once we get some more money, it'll be like this was a paid vacation!"

"I know," Chris sighed heavily. "Just gimme a minute, okay?" Chef nodded, and Chris took a breath. Donning his usual smile, he took out a red megaphone. The shot pulled back to reveal Sierra, Scarlett, Ella, and Sugar standing nearby, and into the megaphone he called out "Round One! Team Chris is _Reeeeeally_ Mean!"

The shot cut to Shawn and DJ as the two mounted the longboard, the survivalist kneeling down in front with the brickhouse folded over in the rear. "Ready?" Chris asked.

"Ready!" Shawn and DJ replied confidently.

Chris pulled the trigger on the megaphone, and the two boys launched themselves forward at it's high-pitched wail.

The background music became hectic as they launched off the starting hill, took the first curve, and started to climb the bigger hill. As they reached the peak DJ happened to look off in the direction of the camera. An unusual mystical-sounding tune played as the perspective shifted, showing him looking at the top of the waterfall where a familiar blonde-haired figure seemed to be standing behind some bushes with her back to the bobsled track. He gasped as the camera changed back to his close-up, then squealed as the longboard started rapidly going down the hill.

"Focus, DJ!" Shawn told his partner, and the gentle giant immediately took heed. He steeled his expression into a confident grin and leaned forward, and the two rocketed through a pair of metal tubes and over a short gap and into the loop-the-loop.

"Yeah!" DJ cheered as they rounded the loop almost effortlessly, then shot out through the final metal tube into the pool. They slid along the dry bottom and shot up into the air and out-of-sight, only to come back down moments later. DJ landed on his feet with the longboard in one arm and a slightly startled Shawn in the other. "Woo hoo!" he cheered excitedly.

"Forty-six point-oh-one seconds is the time to beat!" Chris announced as a timer reading [00:46:01] appeared on-screen. "Team Victory!" he said into his megaphone, the background music trilling ominously as the shot cut to Tyler and Ezekiel seated on their board, Tyler in front and Ezekiel in back.

"Don't worry, dude," the jock told his lone remaining teammate, "we _got_ this. Just try to forget about Scott, okay?"

"I'll try, but no promises," Ezekiel told him.

The two boys shared a nod, then called out "Ready!" They received a wail from the megaphone in reply, and Tyler launched them off like a shot. The pair immediately began to holler out in fear as they went over the starting hill and into the bigger one, their speed forcing them to lean back from their sitting-up positions. They continued to scream and the background music continued to be dangerously hectic as they crested the big hill, went through the loop-the-loop, passed through the final tunnel, and smacked into the side of the pool with a thud that made Chris and Chef wince.

"Fifty-eight point-one-seven!" the host announced as the on-screen timer read [00:58:17]. "Team Me still leads by a healthy margin! Team Universe!" he called through his megaphone, the camera cutting to Sammy and Alejandro on their longboard.

"Here we go," Sammy said nervously from the back.

"Trust your instincts," Alejandro advised. "Ready!" the charmer called out, launching them forward at the signal.

The pair were leaning forward, and Sammy quickly wrapped her arms around her partner as she began to scream in terror. They, too, made short work of the starting hill and curve, and as they reached the top of the largest hill something caught Sammy's eye and she looked towards the camera. The unusual mystical-sounding music played again as the perspective shifted, revealing the familiar figure still standing half-hidden at the top of the waterfall. Sammy gasped and her eyes went wide, but she quickly started screaming again as she and Alejandro plummeted down the hill. They jumped the gap, rounded the loop, shot through the tunnel, and smacked right into the side of the pool.

"Fifty point-two-three seconds!" Chris announced, the timer reading [00:50:23]. "Better than the boys, but Team I am so _Devilishly Handsome_ takes the round!"

The shot cut to the edge of the pool as DJ helped Sammy up, both of them smiling. "DJ, I just saw Dawn on top of the waterfall!" Sammy told her boyfriend, a little bit of hesitation in her voice.

"Me too!" DJ told her excitedly. "I _knew_ we were gonna see her again!"

"But..I still wonder what's really going on, though," Sammy said, her face falling and in turn causing DJ's smile to fade.

"Round Two!" Chris suddenly declared through his megaphone, startling the pair.

/

The footage skipped forward to show the three pairs now at the start of the course. Sierra had swapped in for Shawn on Team Chris; Tyler and Ezekiel were repeating the course out of necessity; and surprisingly enough Sugar and Ella were present for Team Universe.

"Okay, Sierra," DJ told the girl kneeling in front of him, "just lean forward and we'll be alright."

"Got it," the fangirl replied. A screeching signal came, and she launched them forward. Some brief screaming was heard as the camera cut to Chris and Chef getting their drinks refilled by a red-haired white woman in khakis and a green tube top, and the host took a sip before casting his glance back to the pool.

Sierra and DJ shot out of it, rolled up the side of the pool, and each landed on their feet. The longboard in DJ's hands but a grin on both their faces, they shared a happy high-five.

"Team Me comes in at forty-five point-one-six, beating their own team's record and widening their lead!" Chris announced, the timer displaying [00:45:16]. "They're gonna be tough to beat. Team Victory, you're up!"

"Okay dude, second time we've got this!" Tyler told Ezekiel, the homeschooler looking less than confident. The jock was still in front, but they seemed to have taken a cue from the other teams and leaned forward as soon as the signal was sounded.

Once again they flew around the course, screaming mostly for their lives but partly out of thrill; they crested the large peak and looped the loop without issue. The shot cut to Chris, Chef and the six poolside contestants watching expectantly as the longboard was heard approaching, then cringing at the sound of am impact and watching with shock as Tyler and Ezekiel tumbled past them followed by their board seconds later.

"Nice wipe-out, dudes!" Chris told them, the on-screen timer reading [00:50:01]. "Not only that, but with a time of fifty point-oh-one seconds you've beaten your previous score and Team Universe's first go."

"Woo hoo!" the boys cheered weakly, barely managing a high-five from face-down on the ground.

"Speaking of, Team Universe!" the host called through his megaphone, and the shot immediately cut to the last pair waiting at the start of the course.

Ella started to hunker down in the front part of the longboard, but she was stopped when Sugar grabbed her arm and a touching tune began to play. "I just...wanted to apologize again for what I did," the pageant queen told the singer, her voice quavering as though she was about to cry again. "And thank you so much for trustin' me to be yer partner fer this!"

"Oh, don't worry Sugar!" Ella told her with a happy smile. "We all make mistakes, but forgiving them is part of what being friends is all about!"

Sugar sniffed and rubbed her eye. "Thank you!"

xxx

The bout of static transitioned the scene to Sugar chuckling to herself in the restroom confessional. "Man!" she declared with a wide and confident grin. "If even _Ella's_ fallin' for my 'I'm so sorry!' act, then I got it made for the rest of the game!" She chuckled to herself again. "You know what, I think I deserve an _award_ fer that performance. No wait," she excitedly corrected herself, "make that _two_ awards!"

xxx

A dramatic challenge tune began immediately after the scene cut back to the bobsled track and the megaphone sounded off. The two girls launched forward on their board, not quite leaning forward but going fairly fast nonetheless and screaming quite loudly. They hung for a second at the top of the hill, then finally fell forward with a scream and passed through the tunneled jump.

"Come on," Scarlett muttered through her teeth as the shot briefly cut to the rest of Team Universe, Sammy looking concerned while Alejandro looked unimpressed.

The shot cut back to them as they entered the final tunnel with Ella leaning forward but Sugar more upright. They slowed down as they went through the narrowest part of the tunnel, a squeaking sound and the pageant queen's annoyed grunts suggesting that Sugar was rubbing against the walls. Nevertheless they exited with a decent amount of speed, just enough to get them rolling up the pool wall and teetering on the edge as they finished.

"Fifty-five point-three-three!" Chris declared when the camera panned to him, the timer reading [00:55:33]. "Sorry girls, but you're gonna have to do better than that if you wanna catch up."

"Aww, biscuits!" Sugar said, snapping her fingers as Scarlett groaned and palmed her face.

"Round Three!" Chris declared eagerly.

/

The pairs for the final round were Shawn and Sierra, Tyler and Ezekiel again, and Sammy and Scarlett for Team Universe.

"Team I Am The _Baddest_ ," the host called through his megaphone, "ready?"

"As long as we don't mess up," Shawn told Sierra as the two mounted their longboard with the fangirl sitting in back, "we should be good."

"Totally," Sierra nodded.

"Ready!" the pair called out, and were met with the shriek of the megaphone-airhorn in reply. They launched themselves forward, leaning down with their helmets in front as they quickly passed through the hills and gaps and loop-the loops.

They shot out of the course at high speed, but rather than rolling along the side of the pool they crashed headlong into it.

"Forty-eight point-two-four seconds," Chris announced as the timer read [00:48:24], "for a three-run combined total of," the timer rapidly counted up to [02:19:41], "two minutes and nineteen-point-four-one seconds! _Good_!"

"Yay," Sierra said happily as she stumbled around at the bottom of the pool with Shawn before DJ helped the two of them up.

"Guess those helmets came in handy after all," the brickhouse told his teammates with a smile.

/

The shot flashed back up to the start of the course where Tyler and Ezekiel got into position once again. "Y'know, I think we're starting to get a hang of this," the jock told his partner. "Maybe it's a _good_ thing that-" He stopped immediately upon seeing Ezekiel's glum expression, adding "uhh, never mind."

They got on their longboard, and at the signal Tyler sent them flying down the track. He cheered excitedly as they rolled into the big hill, but stopped as he noticed Ezekiel still looking depressed. He frowned, then steeled himself and leaned forward.

Back at the poolside, Alejandro and Ella and Sugar all looked up at the course anxiously. Their eyes followed Tyler and Ezekiel as the remaining members of Team Victory drew closer, and finally shot out of the final tunnel and into the pool. The background music welled up triumphantly as, rather than crashing like their first two runs, the pair managed to roll steadily along the bottom of the pool and up into the air. Even more surprising, they managed to stick the landing though their board went flying off into a bush.

"Dude, we made it!" Tyler told his partner, slapping Ezekiel on the back and earning a small smile in return.

"You two are in second place with a total of two minutes, thirty-seven-point-five-eight seconds!" Chris announced, the timer changing from [00:49:40] to [02:37:58]. "Team Universe!" he called through his megaphone, and the camera cut to the final pair.

"Okay, we need a time of fifty-two point-oh-one seconds or better to beat them," Scarlett told Sammy.

"Yeah, pretty much," Sammy replied as the two girls got on their longboard, the evil genius in front.

"Considering that I'm the one most at risk right now," Scarlett continued, "I'd like some assurance that you _aren't_ going to intentionally inhibit us in hopes of eliminating me."

"Oh, uh, that's not really my _thing_ , so...," Sammy told her.

Scarlett's face fell flat. "I'll force myself to accept that."

The shrieking signal from the host caught their attention, and the two girls rocketed themselves forward. The tense challenge music started up again as Scarlett and Sammy went over the starting hill, around a curve and up the big hill. They hung slightly at the top, but the brainiac leaned herself forward, bulky metal collar and all, and they sped down again without an issue. The camera followed them as they passed through the first tunnel; there was a metallic scraping sound just before they came out with sparks trailing from the side of Scarlett's collar.

" _No_!" Scarlett said in shock.

"Eeek!" Sammy chorused, putting her hands over her head.

They passed into the landing tunnel and the scraping was heard again, and the camera closed in on Scarlett's panicked face as the pair entered the loop-the-loop. "This accursed collar is too _wide_ ," she exclaimed, "unless we move perfectly the friction it produces will slow us down!" They entered the tunnel coming down from the loop, resulting in more scraping metal, sparks, and a shriek from Sammy.

Scarlett grit her teeth in frustration as they went over the last gentle slope and into the final – and longest – tunnel yet. Sammy's shrieks and the metallic scrapings made everyone standing poolside wince and cover their ears in pain, but soon enough the two girls shot out of the pool. They rolled up the side, and landed in a mild daze but still on their board.

"And with a three-run total of two minutes thirty- _nine_ point-oh-nine seconds," Chris announced with relish in his voice as the timer ticked up from [00:53:13] to [02:39:09], "Team Chris is Really Really Mean is the winner!" A victorious tune started playing as Shawn, Sierra, and DJ began to cheer. "Team Universe," the host told the losing team, "you five are finally gonna kick someone off tonight."

He walked away laughing, and Alejandro immediately gave Scarlett a devilish grin. "Well, I believe we _all_ know what's going to happen next," he told his team, his gaze locked on the brainiac. He began to laugh as he walked away to the left, Ella following shortly after him but with one last sorry glance at Scarlett.

" _Please_ ," Scarlett pleaded to Sammy, grabbing the cheerleader's arm as she went to leave Scarlett and Sugar behind, "don't vote me out yet! I give you my _word_ that you won't regret it!"

Sammy shook her head and pulled her arm away. "I wish I could trust you," she said, "but I really can't. I'm sorry."

She walked away to the left, leaving Scarlett alone with Sugar. The pageant queen shrugged helplessly when her ally looked at her, and the shot switched to a close-up of Scarlett as she scowled.

/

That image of Scarlett served to transition the scene forward, her expression unchanging but the area around her shifting from the nameless beach to the elimination room's seating.

A dramatic beat began the standard elimination music as the camera pulled back from Scarlett to show the entire chamber, including Scott who was leaning against the wall by the door. Chef was watching him nearby.

"You've all cast your votes," Chris said from his center podium, holding up a tray of four peanut-filled barf bags. "And I gotta say, they weren't exactly _surprising_. Samey, Ella, Sugar, and Alejandro, _all_ of you are safe." He tossed barf bags to each of the four in quick succession, the first two catching them with neutral expressions; Sugar immediately stuffing a handful of peanuts into her mouth; and Alejandro giving them a look of distaste as he held the bag between pinched fingers.

"Scarlett, you're out," the host told the scowling brainiac as she stood up, " _finally_."

"Do we really have to do this?" she asked before even taking a step forward. "Scott's _already_ leaving, so another elimination is completely unnecessary!" She motioned towards the farmer who rolled his eyes at her.

"Good point," Chris admitted, "buuut, you're still eliminated. Here ya go!" he tossed her a parachute pack, which she caught with another scowl.

She took a few steps, then asked "Will you at _least_ remove this blasted collar already?"

"Nope!" Chris answered with a blunt smile.

"Then how am I meant to deal with the _debilitating_ electrical shock it will give me if I'm not within a certain radius of you?" Scarlett followed up with a hint of panic in her voice.

"Hey, you're _smart_ ," Chris told her dismissively, stepping forward to push her towards the exit, "I'm sure you'll think of something!"

The usual reverent and sorrowful parting theme began to play as Scarlett murmured in exasperation as she was put in front of the exit. Chef opened the door with a mocking bow, and Scarlett stepped forward. She took a deep breath, then spun around on her heel. "You'll all _rue the day_ you crossed me!" she yelled with sudden fury, her eyes glowing red. "I will make you _all_ regret this when next we meet!"

"Would you can it already?" Scott told her sharply. "If anyone has a right to be _mad_ here it's _me_."

Scarlett glared at him, then snorted in contempt and jumped out the plane.

"It goes without saying," Chris told Scott, "but this is _your_ stop too."

"Yeah, yeah," Scott muttered angrily as he strapped on a parachute pack and jumped out the open door.

The shot immediately cut outside to Scott landing on the beach a couple meters below the doorway; Scarlett already walking away to the left. "It's not the same without the scream," Chris said as he and Chef looked out from the elimination room.

"Shove it, McLean!" Scott replied as he started to walk away as well, raising his left arm to give a hand sign back over his shoulder that had to be blurred out.

"Nice," Chris said in annoyance, the scene moving back inside as he slammed the door.

With the reverent parting theme still playing, the camera panned over to the remaining four members of Team Universe. Ella took Alejandro's arm as they left the room, and as Sammy moved to follow them Sugar, who was still seated with an unusually thoughtful look on her face, grabbed the cheerleader's shoulder.

"Wait," Sugar told the confused girl. Sammy raised an eyebrow as the pageant queen reached inside her blouse and took out a pink envelope, and stared at it thoughtfully. She took a deep breath, then thrust it into Sammy's hands.

Sammy looked it over once, then opened it up and took out the letter.

She gasped immediately, and her eyes went wide. "Sugar, where did you _find_ this?" she asked frantically.

"I didn't, _Scarlett_ did," the pageant queen explained with apparent remorse. "Since it talks about me an' Scott workin' together, Scarlett used it to blackmail me into an alliance with her. And," she sniffed and began to cry, "and I wanted to tell ya about it sooner, but I was just so scared of what Scarlett might do to me! But," she sniffed again, "once I realized she was gonna get booted out, I found where she was hidin' it and stole it. I just," she sniffed a third time and broke out sobbing, "I just hope it helps make up fer all the wrong I've done ya!"

With a broad grin on her face, Sammy finally took her eyes off the letter and hugged Sugar. "Oh, Sugar, thank you _so_ much!" she said, the camera cutting to Sammy's close-up as she clenched her teary eyes shut. "You have no _idea_ how much this means to me!" The camera cut to the other side, revealing that the pageant queen's tears had dried up and that she was grinning devilishly.

"Seriously, Sugar," Sammy said, breaking the hug and holding Sugar by the shoulders, the pageant queen quickly resuming her teary-eyed expression, "thank you _sooo_ much. I totally owe you one, and-" She gasped suddenly. "OhemgeeIhavetotellDJ!" she said quickly before dashing off without another word.

Sugar stood there for a moment before putting her hands on her hips and breaking out into a grin. "Looks like things are lookin' up fer _Sugar_!"

"Sure are," Chris told her as the camera pulled back to reveal him and Chef standing nearby as the background music was taken over by the series' dramatic capstone theme. "Will Sugar _continue_ to surprise all of us?" he turned and asked the camera, Sugar perking up and grinning in the background. "And will we _ever_ get off this island? Find out next time, on Total!" the first blaring note zoomed out the scene to show the whole elimination room. "Drama!" the second blaring note took the camera outside, showing the tail of the plane as a trail of red hair disappeared behind the landing gear. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" The final note expanded the scene to show the entire beached jet, Scott just visible walking away on the left.

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The scene faded back in to Scott walking along the Jamaican beach at sunset, his unused parachute pack slung over his shoulder.

He looked at the camera and sneered. "If you're expecting me to give you some kinda heartfelt _talk_ about how I learned a lot this season and grew as a person, then forget it!" he said. "I didn't learn anything except not to trust _Sugar_ anymore. Seriously, what the heck was her _deal_?! She can't just _ditch_ me the moment it was convenient, that's what _I_ was supposed to do to _her_!"

"And you know what the worst part is?" Scott added as a tree passed between him and the camera. "That she's _probably_ gonna get away with it. Seriously, the only person left on that plane with any smarts is _Al_ , and as far as I could tell be believed everything she said. And _that_ means that everyone thinks she's just an innocent victim. It makes me sick just _thinking_ about it." He spat into the sand and kept walking.

He huffed. "And I was just about to _really_ take control of the game, too. Now my second strategy's failed, my reputation is even _worse_ , and I have _nothing_ to show for it!" He sighed in frustration. "Even _Zeke_ hates me now..."

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

If you're gonna have a season where one of the main rules is that you sing when you're told or you get kicked off, then you HAVE to invoke that rule at least once. In canon, this was in the beginning with Duncan getting fed up. Here, it was Scott getting trolled, more-or-less, by his former partner into blowing the song off. It was meant to be shocking, since sometimes eliminations (or disqualifications) should come out of nowhere. And it came about basically because of Scott's own overconfidence; Sugar wouldn't have thrown him under the bus to make herself look better if Scott hadn't tried to contact her in such a reckless manner.

This week's song is titled "Sugar's Truth", and uses the same melody as its canon counterpart from this episode because I honestly couldn't be bothered coming up with something original for a song I knew was gonna be cut off. Did it work as a song? I don't know. Did it fulfill it's role in the plot? Yes, I believe so.

And then we have Scarlett's elimination, which to be honest has been coming for a long time. And she wasn't able to do anything about it either, because even a genius can't think of anything. I kinda regret her alliance with Sugar never accomplishing much, but well...it just made more sense to me that it would be a red herring of sorts, intended by both girls as a way to further themselves in the game but just never panning out.

But is this the last we'll see of Scarlett? Only time will tell...

Overall, I'd say this is an oddly...odd? finale, and intentionally so. I hope it was dramatic enough, but also with a weird sort of aftertaste. Let me know what you think, and I'll see you all next week for the second Aftermath.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)

Bridgette - (13th Place)

Geoff - (12th Place)

Scott - (11th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (10th Place)


	12. Chapter 12 - Revenge of the Telethon

**Author's Note**

Here we are folks, the second Aftermath! Just about half way through what I feel has been an exciting season. Next week's episode is, predictably, not quite done yet; delayed by a combination of the musical number and some changes I've made to the plot. But trust me when I say it'll be a dramatic start to the third quarter of World Tour.

Admittedly, the delay in getting the chapter finished is gonna make tomorrow quite busy - not only will I be finishing that, but I'll also be putting out a much-awaited chapter of Total Drama Rebirth as well! Plus, I'll also be starting a rewatch of Revenge of the Island in preparation for next season.

Oh, and Halloween is tomorrow, but I'm not really doing anything for it. I do hope those of you celebrating it have fun!

And now, the reviews.

 **Elizabeth Life Stone:** Is that so? Well then, kudos for predicting the unpredictable.

 **DSX62415:** Ehh, Scott's been fun to write as the villain who just can't seem to get going. Even if people don't really like him, he has his place in the story. Sugar too, for that matter. As for Scarlett...well, I'll talk more about her at a later date.

 **TaitanoRules555:** Why? I'll admit I enjoy happy endings, but only for those who deserve one - and Scott has a long way to go before he deserves one.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Haha, thanks! Sugar, I think, was underutilized as a villain in canon. She clearly understands how to be devious, and can pull it off, but mostly she was just given the typical bad jokes associated with fat people. I'm glad I've been able to show more of her character this season.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Yeah, that's kind of what I've been trying to do with Sierra this season, to some extent at least. She's the person who knows a lot about her castmates, as well as what the fans want. She is, I think, what she could have been in canon without the Cody obsession. And...really, you couldn't follow along with last week's song? I said in the Post Script that the tune was the same as 'Oh My Izzy'...

 **CVluvFoxy:** I'm glad I was able to surprise you with Scott's elimination, and even more so that you're rooting for Sugar! Not to spoil anything, though, I just like knowing she has fans among my readers. And as for what happens with the note, well, you'll have to wait for next week...but for now, I hope you enjoy the Aftermath!

 **P. T. Piranha:** Thanks! It doesn't seem like much to me when I recreate canon visuals like that, but I'm glad people like it. And I guess it is a little funny that Team Victory is still doing the worst, even though it's not something I ever thought about intentionally doing; it's just one of those things that just sort of happened.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Oh ho, it's been a while...long enough for me to have to look back and see that you changed your name, 80jj. But don't worry, I understand - I myself have never been the best at reviewing the stories I've read, so I won't hold anything against you. I'm glad you've enjoyed the season so far, even if I have given an early boot to a few people you wanted to see longer; likewise, I'm happy you're liking my portrayal of Sugar. I hope you like what is to come, and I'll certainly read your newest project once it comes out.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Glad I was able to take you off-guard with Scott's DQ. And yeah, Sugar was faking it in the song; she wanted to make herself out to be a victim in order to distance herself from Scott's increasingly bad reputation. And as for Dawn...well, you'll find out sooner or later.

 **I. M. Poik:** Yeah, the biggest problem with Team Universe is that Scarlett was such an obvious first boot from the team, and in fact the only first boot that works for me; but at the same time, I wanted to make sure her exit was at the right time. Admittedly, I did change some things in the recent weeks, but still... As for Scott, it's true that he has more antagonistic potential, but...well, it just wasn't his season. Again. As for what happens this week, and whether or not anything will be revealed...just read on and find out!

 **FOWLKON:** To be fair, Scott _had_ pissed Chris off a little with his outright refusal to let the host interrupt. And yeah, a fair trope assessment of Sugar's path in the season thus far. And if nothing else, I'm glad I've been able to keep long-time readers on their toes. As for Dawn...as I've said, you'll have to wait and see.

 **Guest:** Ehh, I'm not really a fan of Cody or his 'relationship' with Sierra, so don't count on it ever showing up in the Shuffledverse.

 **Animation Adventures:** Excellent, the twists were successful against yet another reader. You'll have to wait until next week at the earliest to see how Sugar's strategy has changed with her original two allies out of the game, though. For Scarlett...well, you'll find out eventually what I have in store for her. And for Scott...well, who knows. I knew going into the season that he was gonna be another 'Disc One Final Boss' as in season one, and I'm glad I decided to invoke the 'sing or leave' rule with him. For better or worse, he played his part.

 **aloasa:** Yeah, weird was kinda what I was going with for last week's episode. The song fizzled, two antagonists got booted unceremoniously...but in some ways, this is just the beginning.

 **OMAC001:** Oho, a bold prediction. I look forward to seeing how you and others react to the rest of the plot as it unfolds.

 **LadyEnigma888:** I'm glad you liked it! I'm always happy to surprise my readers, it's not good to be predictable all the time. As for Sugar...personally, I don't think she's smarter than in canon per say, just that her odd sort of deviousness is being better displayed. Still, I'm glad you're liking her so far!

 **Knifez:** Ehh, maybe that's how other people would write it but if I'd intended it to be a more AleHeather-esque denial I'd have included some sort of slip-up where he accidentally says she's cute or something more specific. But hey, it's not something that's really come up here or in Rebirth so maybe it's just something I haven't been able to fully work out yet. That aside, I am really glad you liked the chapter, especially after you originally said you hoped there wouldn't be a double elimination. I was a little worried that Sugar's betrayal of Scott would feel a little rushed, but it seems like most everybody has loved it. As for Scarlett...well, I do have some stuff to say about her role in this season, but it'll have to wait for a later date I'm afraid. I neglected to focus on Alejandro and Sammy's alliance last week primarily because I already had a lot to do with Scott's DQ, and since I figured Scarlett getting targeted would be obvious there wasn't much need for a reminder that Alejandro and Sammy are allies now.

 **The Prime Writer:** Hey, no worries, nothing wrong with not reviewing because you have other more important matters to attend to. Especially since you've written such a thorough review of the past few chapters, and of most of the characters. There's not a whole lot I can reply to, but I really do appreciate the thought you put into. I'm looking forward to reading your reactions to the rest of the series, should you have time and opportunity to make them known.

 **Star Saber21:** Yup, it was a real victory for Sugar last week. It was pretty fun writing her getting one over on Scott, Scott's subsequent downfall, and to a lesser extent Scarlett's elimination. Even though having so many villains in the cast is annoying, at the same time having them all be so different from one another leads to some interesting situations. I hope you enjoy what's to come!

 **Bruno14:** Yeah, pretty much! I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the review!

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** It might be awhile before you see this, but I'm glad you're catching up. I'm glad you liked the teams, and I hope you're at least okay with the elimination order - I know Team Universe doesn't really lose anyone that often, but I've decided it's almost a necessary evil for what I want out of the story. I hope you enjoyed Scott's tenure as a villain, and as for Staci...well, you'll find out eventually.

 **wifishark:** Well, I'm not sure if I'd specifically call him a Butt Monkey, but he is certainly the villain with the least success in the Shuffledverse. The dude just can't catch a break, but that's what happens when he ends up in a show with so many other possible antagonists. At least he lasted longer this time. And I know what you mean about Scarlett needing to have gone earlier, and had I come up with a good idea that I liked I would have done so, but that's just not the case. I'll explain this more at a later date, probably.

 **Yandere Triangle Monster:** Jeez, cutting it close with this; I was just about finished writing these up when I saw you'd posted a review. But no matter; Scott played the part that I wanted him to play, and though he's gone I'm interested in hearing how your predictions have changed.

And that's it for the reviews! Other than those, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work. I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far!

It's not too relevant since it's an Aftermath this week, but here are the remaining competitors:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Tyler

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Shawn, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar

We're just about at the halfway mark of the season, so I hope you enjoy this interlude in the main plot!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 12 – Aftermath: Revenge of the Telethon**

An electric guitar riff opened the episode on a sequence last used six episodes prior, the spinning globe and flashing title of 'TOTAL DRAMA WORLD TOUR AFTERMATH'. The blocky letters exploded in a flash of light that took over the screen, transitioning to a scene from a previous episode.

xxx

"I love you, Geoff!" Bridgette said quickly as Geoff and her teammates rushed over. She tried to reach out to her lover, but the wind caught her from behind and pulled her away from the plane's doorway and out into the open air.

"I love you too, Bridgette!" Geoff called back sadly, leaning out the open door as the camera fell away from it, mimicking the eliminated surfer's viewpoint.

xxx

The Aftermath logo appeared again, and it's glare transitioned the scene a second time.

xxx

"Later dudes!" Geoff waved to his former teammates with a happy grin, the parachute pack on his back as he stood in the open doorway. "I hope you get _everything_ you deserve!" With a whoop of excitement he jumped backwards into the open air, his final shout of "Geronimo!" heard by everyone in the elimination chamber.

xxx

A third appearance from the Aftermath logo marked the transition to a third clip.

xxx

"SHOVE IT, MCLEA-AAAAAAHHHH!" Scott tried to shout, but his fury caused the eels clinging to him to let loose and shock him for a good couple of seconds. He was left twitching, and promptly sank into the lagoon.

The scene immediately cut forward to the farmer lying in the infirmary bed, Chris McLean giving him a stern look from the end of it then turning his back. "You had your chance, Scott," he told the boy, "and you _blew it_. You are _officially_ disqualified from the competition."

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The Aftermath's short introductory animation repeated itself once again, this time eliciting a roar of applause from the in-house audience as the scene cut to the studio. Several changes had been made to the stage since it was last seen, the least of which was the removal of the second guest couch. The central big screen TV displayed the show's title, and was now joined stage left by another hanging monitor displaying a few dollar signs against a reddish starburst design on a pale pink background. At the bottom of the second display was a row of empty boxes, seven of them the same size with two smaller ones raised up at the right end.

Below the second display was the Peanut Gallery, who now sat at two raised tables – Topher, B, Beardo, and Lightning in the top row; Jo, Beth, and Amy in the bottom. Their appeared to be an old rotary telephone sitting in front of each former contestant.

Standing at center stage were Dakota and Sam, and they were dressed much more formally than usual – the gamer was in a tuxedo, while the heiress was wearing a sleek and expensive-looking dark pink gown.

"Good evening!" Dakota greeted with a happy squeal. "I'm Dakota, and this is my _amazing_ cohost, Sam!" she motioned to her boyfriend, who waved at the camera.

"We're coming to you _live_ ," he said, his smile fading into a more serious look, "because we need your help to raise some money for a _seriously_ worthy cause."

"I _totally_ know what you're thinking," Dakota continued, "what could we _possibly_ be raising money for? Well think back to the last episode when the Total Drama jet crash landed in _Jamaica_. _Such_ a tragedy, am I right?"

"Totally," Sam nodded. "And it could've been avoided if they'd just had more gas! Unfortunately, our _host_ blew the show's budget on stuff for himself."

"And a gold-lined hot tub is _so_ tacky," Dakota added with a knowing look. "Unless we raise money for a refueling, our friends could all be stuck in Jamaica _forever_!" The camera zoomed in on her dramatically as the audience gasped.

"All of Total Drama could be _canceled_ ," Sam added with a concerned look. "And that means us, too! Which is why tonight, we're bringing you..."

"Total Drama the Telethon!" Dakota finished as the screen cut to a logo reading "TDM TELETHON" in two lines of big block letters, the top green and bottom white. It was set against a pink-and-purple flowery background adorned with stars and music notes, and the screen quickly star-wiped back to the studio as the crowd applauded.

"The phone lines are open," Sam said, he and Dakota on the central couch and the telephone number '1-800-555-5555' displayed on the bottom of the screen. "So _please_ ," the gamer pleaded, "for the show we _all_ love, call now and donate." Another round of applause went up, and the two hosts shared a happy look and stood up.

"Please welcome our first special guests," Dakota said with a gesture stage right.

"Drama to Drama!" she and Sam announced the band at the same time, the shot cutting to the three boys and sasquatch in their stage clothes. Beardo was on the left holding a keytar, Topher had his tambourine, Sasquatchanakwa was center-right with a guitar, and B was furthest right with his keyboard. The four smiled and waved at the camera and audience, who cheered them on.

The shot cut to the three girls in the Peanut Gallery, Beth standing up to cheer for her friends while Jo raised an eyebrow at her and Amy just huffed and rolled her eyes.

~/~

[The number opened with a close-up of the keytar as Beardo began to play, his bandmates joining in with claps punctuating the beats. The camera quickly pulled back as Dakota walked by in front of the band and began to sing.]

" _This show, you need to save! This show, you gotta tell, this show! That you caa~aare_!"

[The heiress sang in a high but mournful voice; as she repeated 'this show' a second time she motioned to the big screen as, one by one, portraits of the remaining contestants appeared over the Telethon logo – Tyler, Ezekiel, Shawn, Sierra, and DJ in the top row; Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, and Sammy in the bottom.]

" _Jamaica, they're trapped down in! Jamaica, they can't even, Ja-party! It's so unfair_!"

[Sam joined in with his husky voice, the image of the cast fading into a map of the island they were on. On the second 'Jamaica' it cut to the well-dressed gamer standing in front of a green screen playing a montage of clips from the season – the turbulence in both classes that had preceded the plane crash; Sierra and Beardo running in fear from the mummy-wrapped Staci in Egypt; the cast falling into New York harbor; Team Chris stacked on top of their goat as scarab beetle swarmed around them; Geoff accidentally causing the ice bridge Team Victory was standing on to crumble beneath them.]

" _You gotta help now, we're on the brink_!"

[Dakota added, appearing next to her boyfriend as the montage continued – the bear brandishing its chainsaw in the Louvre; the giant sewer alligator coughing up Team Chris' boat.]

" _The crew gets fired, if this ship sinks_!"

[Sam's line was accompanied by clips of Shawn, Sugar, and Scott fighting over the gold chain and getting shocked for it; then the jumbo jet's disastrous landing in front of the Eiffel Tower.]

" _So make a difference, in their lives_!"

[As Dakota sang, Geoff and DJ were shown kissing cod; Sierra was shown tricking Sugar in Central Park; Shawn was shown getting attacked by the bear and baby goat while trying to drive his golf cart through the Louvre; and Alejandro was shown getting hit in the face with raw sausage meat courtesy of Scarlett.]

" _Give us cash or this show dies_!"

[The two hosts sang the line together as they and the montage were temporarily replaced by an angled shot of a wheeled filing cabinet overflowing with cash.]

" _Saaaave this show, Total Drama_!"

[Dakota sang, the montage resuming but the telethon number replacing the hosts on-screen. Ezekiel was shown turning his back on a shocked and bedridden Scott; Team Victory was shown dangling from the icy cliff in the Yukon again; then tumbling forward end-over-end after their sausage sled collapsed in their ride down the Alps. Dakota appeared on-screen towards the end of her line.]

" _Saaaave this show, you know you wanna_!"

[Sam sang as his girlfriend bobbed her head and the montage continued – Sierra kicking Sammy off her dance pad; Team Universe getting attacked by giant caterpillars in the Amazon. The gamer appeared on-screen.]

" _Save the show that you loo~oove~_!"

[The host sang together as behind them the cast landed in a giant bowl of rice in Japan; then Sugar got attacked by piranhas after dropping off the zipline into the Amazon River.]

" _Saaaave this show, Total Drama_!"

[Dakota repeated after she and Sam faded away, the montage showing the cast fleeing for their lives as Machu Picchu crumbled around them; the slap-dancers getting shocked all at once as their practice ended; Team Victory getting cornered by the fake Zing-Zings; and the crashed plane on the Jamaican beach at sunset.]

" _Saaaave this show, so call the number_!"

[Sam continued as the next few clips were shown – Scarlett, Scott, and Sierra dryly predicting the moment the cast was unceremoniously dropped out of the cargo bay door they'd gathered on; Chris' fishing boat approaching the cast treading water in the North Atlantic; and the final jazz hand-filled shot from the very first musical number of the season.]

" _Save the show with loo~oove, and five hundred thousand dollars_!"

[Sam and Dakota sang together as they faded back on-screen; the montage ended with a rising shot of the plane used in the first musical number before it faded into a beating red heart set against orange, yellow, and green rays. The heart faded away as well, getting replaced by a dollar sign that both hosts motioned to.]

"Save the show, man. Just give us some dough...give us some love and some dough _._ "

[Sam finished as his sorrowful head took the place of the dollar sign, the other hosts fading away again. The scene star-wiped to the TDM Telethon logo and telephone number as the music wrapped up and the crowd went wild.]

~/~

The scene cut to the Peanut Gallery as Blaineley walked onto stage. "That's right," she told the camera as a trendy tune began to play, "you need to give us five-hundred- _thousand_ dollars in the next half-hour." She spread her arms wide as the shot moved in for a close-up, then smiled. "Hi, I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran," she introduced herself. "And I'm your _co_ -host!"

"Uhh, don't you mean you're the _roving reporter_?" Sam asked in annoyance, earning a gasp from the audience as Blaineley scowled.

She quickly resumed smiling, however, and her trendy tune resumed as well. "I'm thrilled to be here tonight, _co-hosting_ with Dakota and Sam," she told the camera.

"Hey, wasn't she gonna go back to her _old_ job at Celebrity Manhunt?" the gamer whispered aside to his girlfriend.

"Oh, she tried," Dakota giggled, "but they _totally_ said no."

Blaineley's music resumed once more as the camera cut back to her. "I'll keep you posted on the total as your calls and your cash," she winked and the telephone number appeared again, "pour in. This is the number," she looked down at the on-screen text. "Call now, we have _gifts_!"

"For a donation of only twenty-five dollars," Dakota said as the screen was taken over by a rotating reddish-orange sunburst pattern and the music was taken over by a familiar zany theme as a certain packet of disgusting snack foods spun into view, "you'll get a commemorative box of _delicious and nutritious_ Yummy Happy Go-Time Fishtails!" The crowd applauded, and the heiress quickly and quietly added "Strictly decorative, do not eat, may not be legal in all provinces, keep out of reach of children."

"And for _fifty_ dollars," Sam added as the zany Japanese theme was replaced by the series' own them and the screen sort of flipped around to a close-up of a scrawny white person wearing a dull blue t-shirt emblazoned with Chris' face, "you'll get a special commemorative Total Drama T-shirt! Sure, it _looks_ like a plain tee," he added as the audience cheered, "but when you get it _wet_ ," he paused to chuckle as the shirt was splashed with water, causing it to shrink and the Chris head's colors to run, "it becomes a _wet_ t-shirt...yeah." His last word was considerably less impressed.

"If you get a busy signal," Blaineley said as the scene cut back to her, "keep trying! You'll get through eventually!"

The shot cut to the fully-stocked Peanut Gallery where not a single telephone was ringing. The seven teens manning them looked around with a mixture of boredom and awkwardness.

"If _amazing_ viewers like you don't start donating," Dakota told the camera with hands clasped in a pleading gesture, "like, _soon_ , everyone here's gonna be out of a job! And for our friends in Jamaica, the nightmare will _really_ begin."

"Our goal tonight is five-hundred- _thousand_ dollars," Blaineley repeated, now holding a clipboard as a different but more familiar trendy theme played. "And thanks to your donations, so far we've raised a grand total of..." The music peaked as the shot cut to the donation counter hanging above the Peanut Gallery; it's numbers started rolling up, and stopped with a ding on...0s across the board.

" _Nothing_?!" Blaineley announced in shock, the audience gasping in shock as well.

"Like, _seriously_?!" Dakota exclaimed in shock and annoyance of her own.

She hung her head, and the camera panned slightly to focus on Sam. "Let's welcome our first guest," he told his girlfriend, "and encourage her fans to call in!"

"Ooh, good idea!" Dakota squealed, suddenly happy again. "She was the victim of a _plot_ to break up her and her boyfriend," she told the camera as it focused on her, "and ended up voting _herself_ off the show, it's _Bridgette_!"

Both hosts stood up and clapped along with the audience as the surfer walked out on stage with a smile and wave.

"So great to see you, Bridgette!" Dakota said, giving her fellow blonde a hug after she walked over between the hosts. "Why don't you tell us about the gifts you've brought for people who donate in your name!"

"Gladly," Bridgette laughed. "Every donation you make tonight earns you a raffle ticket towards winning surfing lessons from myself!"

"Ooh, I bet there's a lot of people out there who'd love to win that!" Dakota said with a wink at the camera.

The shot cut to the Peanut Gallery where all seven telephones were now ringing and being answered. "Huhuh, yeah, I guess Bridgette has a lot of fans," Sam chuckled.

" _Yeah_ ," Blaineley corrected, "Amy's complaining to her _mother_ , and Topher's making a pitch to the producers."

The camera cut to the host wannabe as he said "You're gonna need a new host _sooner_ or later, I'm just saying," with a smarmy grin.

"Which means our new fundraising total is," Blaineley said in annoyance with a motion towards the donation tracker. It rolled up again, and stopped with a ding on 304 dollars exactly. "Three-hundred and four dollars!" Blaineley announced. "And three- _hundred_ of that came from somebody who just wanted to hear B be _silent_ to her over the telephone," she added with a roll of her eyes.

B smirked at the camera and gave a thumbs-up.

"Hey, great job man," Sam told him. "Who knew you were so popular with the ladies? But we've still got a _long_ way to go," he turned and told the camera.

"C'mon, everyone, I know you can do this!" Dakota pleaded.

"Umm, _hello_?" Amy interrupted brattily. "Why don't _you_ just donate the rest of the money? Isn't five-hundred thousand, like, _less_ than pocket change to you?"

"Umm, well...," Dakota said, averting her gaze and hiding a blush.

"Hey, uhh, Dakota has her reasons for not donating, just trust me okay?" Sam quickly intervened.

"But she could save the _whole show_ herself!" Beth countered with a look of almost betrayal.

" _Actually_ ," Blaineley interrupted with a mischievous grin, "I happen to have some inside _information_ about that."

"No you don't," Dakota denied immediately.

"Oh yes I do!" Blaineley countered.

Dakota looked like she was going to angrily say something else, only for Sam to sigh and put a hand on hers. "Look, you might as well just say it yourself," he told her. "You know she's not gonna let you keep dodging it like last time."

The heiress whined in utter despair, and Sam took another breath. "Look, the reason she hasn't just donated it all herself is because...," he told the others, "...her dad cut her off."

Bridgette on the guest couch, the audience, and the Peanut Gallery gasped in shock as Blaineley's grin turned more devilish.

"It's true," Dakota admitted. "Between my spin-off and the Aftermath getting renewed, Daddy decided that I had a stable job and I could earn my _own_ money from now on. But I don't get paid _nearly_ as much as what my allowance used to be, so before I knew it I'd spent nearly all of what I had, and now...now...I'm _poor_!" Everyone gasped sharply again as she broke down crying into her hands, and Sam put a comforting arm around her.

"Well, she's more like upper middle class now," he explained to the others on stage, "but it's still a pretty harsh drop from what she's used to. She's figuring out how to support herself just fine, but she just doesn't have enough money saved up to save the show herself right now. It's _really_ eating her up inside."

"Awww," Beth cooed along with a good chunk of the audience, causing Blaineley to roll her eyes in annoyance. "That's okay Dakota, we understand!" the wannabe told the crying hostess. "You're doing the best you can!"

"Y-you really think that?" Dakota sniffed, lifting her head and rubbing the tears from her eyes.

"Yeah!" Beth answered happily.

"Looks like the fans do too," Jo commented as the phones started ringing again.

"You know," Sam said with a sudden smile, "if _that's_ getting donations, then I think I know how to get even _more_. How would you guys like to see an episode of Total Drama Fugitives?" he asked the audience as a dramatic riff played. He looked up at the big screen, which now displayed wanted posters of Staci and Dawn. "If you're interested, then call in! We won't show you any more until we hit ten thousand dollars, and believe me," he chuckled, " we have a _lot_ of new info to share."

The phones were shown ringing again, and the hosts grinned. "Ooh, excellent!" Dakota squealed in anticipation. "All you Staci and Dawn fans, keep calling in!"

The sound of the donation tracker rolling up moved the camera's attention to Blaineley. "Ten thousand! Look, we just hit ten thousand!" she exclaimed as the audience cheered, and the shot changed to the tracker to show it reading $10,000.00 exactly.

"First, a _newcomer_ to the segment," Sam said. "Scarlett was finally voted out last time, but like Staci she never showed up to be taken home."

"But at the end of the episode," Dakota added as the camera panned up to the big screen, "the cameras caught this image of what _might_ be her ducking behind the plane." The television cut from static to the still image of the jumbo jet on the unnamed Jamaican beach, and it promptly zoomed in on the bit of red hair poking out from behind the landing gear.

"The moment the episode was over, we received tons of messages from all of you," Sam said as the shot cut back to the central couch, "telling us to check the plane for stowaways."

"And we did just that," Dakota said with a knowing smile. "And it didn't take us long to find this clip. Take a look!" She motioned back up to the big screen as it cut to static and took over the scene.

xxx

An eerie tune played as the clip opened on the cargo hold, a pounding coming from a distant floor panel. It as finally lifted off, and a shadowy figure darted out from the hole it had made to behind a stack of crates.

It lingered there for a second, then came back out and put the floor panel it had dislodged back into place. As it did so, it's top half leaned into the light just enough for Scarlett's determined face to be visible.

xxx

The audience gasped as the shot returned to the studio. "I _know_ , right?" Dakota gushed. "What is she _doing_ there?"

"Whatever it is," Sam said, "the others had better be careful. Scarlett's gotta be feeling pret-ty _vengeful_ right about now."

"Totally," Dakota nodded. "But enough about _her_ , let's move on to _Dawn_ next." The camera focused on her as she turned to smile at it. "Not only have DJ and Sammy been seeing Dawn around them, but so have a _lot_ of loyal fans. Tonight, we're gonna show you our _two_ best leads."

"If you're a Dawn fan and think these are legit sightings of her, let us know with a donation," Sam added. "Our _first_ clip comes from Mexico, so let's take a look." He looked up at the big screen as it cut to static once more.

xxx

The eerie music played once more as the clip opened on a deserted desert road at night, a railing and overhang in the foreground suggesting it was being filmed from the porch of a building. The camera was focused on a tumbleweed rolling down the road before suddenly jerking up to follow a Dawn-shaped silhouette as it ran across the dry earth. The figure passed behind a large saguaro cactus...and didn't come back out again.

xxx

The audience gasped, of course. "Okay, that definitely looked like Dawn," the gamer said.

"I don't know...," Dakota said uncertainly. "It was pretty _dark_ out there, it could've been anyone. Now _my_ clip," she smiled, "is _totally_ her. Check it out!"

xxx

The next clip opened on a foggy Stonehenge, a Celtic tune playing despite the monument having nothing to do with those people. The camera quickly zoomed in on the top of one of the stone arches, where Dawn seemed to be sitting in her modified lotus position with her back to the camera. A particularly thick bank of fog drifted between her and the camera, and when it cleared away she was gone...

xxx

Another gasp issued from the audience as the shot cut back to the studio. "Now that was Dawn," Dakota said. "What do the viewers think, Blaineley?"

"We've gotten _hundreds_ more calls so far," the older woman said as the camera moved to her. "And their donations have added a whopping..." The donation tracker was shown rolling up again, and stopped at a less-than-dramatic $10,500.00 "Five hundred bucks to our grand total," Blaineley said in a disappointed tone.

"Well, good thing we still have more to show!" Sam told Dakota.

"That we do, Sam!" Dakota smiled. "Once we get reach twenty thousand, we'll dish _all_ the dirt we have on Staci!"

" _Really_ ," Blaineley asked in disbelief, "you think the viewers are gonna donate just to learn more about _Staci_. She's the least popular person on the show!"

" _Was_ the least popular," Sam corrected. "But ever since she went AWOL, she's gained a lot of fans as people tried to track down where she was and where she might be going. And let me tell you," he chuckled, "they found a lot of stuff that we're gonna share once the total reaches twenty-thousand. Heck, we even have someone on _webcam_!"

"Hmmph," Blaineley rolled her eyes. "Well we've just passed the total you asked for," she added with a happy smile as the donation tracker was shown rolling up to $23,000.00, "so might as well give 'em what they asked for!"

"Sure will!" Dakota smiled. "Now, as you may remember from our last Aftermath, Staci was reportedly sighted in both Syria and Turkey. Since then, her fans have managed to trace her path up through Bulgaria and into Romania, where _this_ photo was taken."

He motioned up at the big screen, which was now showing what looked like a small town set in the some forested and mountainous area. Staci was standing in the center of the picture, wearing a brown cloak as she walked along the side of the road but with the hood down so her entire head and face could be seen clearly.

"Guess she's not trying to hide," Sam joked over a surprised gasp from the crowd as the camera cut back to the hosts. "Makes me wonder what she's been up to all this time, though."

"Luckily, we have someone who can answer that," Dakota said with a conspiratorial wink. "Now, I think we _all_ know how much Staci likes to talk about her relatives," she told the audience.

"And how much her stories sound _bogus_ ," Sam chimed in.

"But just because she makes stuff up doesn't mean she's a _total_ liar," Dakota continued. "I mean, everyone has family, right? And we managed to track down one of her actual relatives to give us some insight on one of Total Drama's quirkiest contestants. Give a warm welcome to Borys from Ukraine!"

An applause went up as the camera panned to the big screen, which cut from static to a live feed of a fat, balding, and hairy white man in a white tanktop. "Hey, this thing is finally on, yah?" he said in a gruff and heavy Ukrainian accent, tapping the webcam he was sitting in front of. "Hello world!" he waved amicably. "Is nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you too, Borys!" Sam replied. "Why don't you tell us how you're related to Staci?"

"Sure thing," the man said. "Staci is my, ehh, niece's second cousin. Have picture to prove if you don't believe me." Before anyone could react he held up what looked like a series of photographs taped together end-to-end so they showed the entirety of a massive row of people. "Was taken at family reunion five years ago," Borys explained. "Staci is here," he pointed to one section of the massive photo, holding it closer so that a preteen girl that was recognizable as a younger Staci could be made out; "Borys is here." He pulled the photo back, looked at it, then moved his finger to a place a little further away – though the man he pointed at looked younger and had a terrible hairstyle, it was still clearly Borys.

Dakota and Sam shared a surprised look. "Wow, you really have a big family," Dakota said.

"Thank you," Borys replied, stowing the chain of photos away. "We take pride in keeping track of everyone. Is only thing we're really good at, yah?"

"Well _I'm_ impressed," Sam chuckled. "But enough about that, tell us about Staci! When did you see her last?"

"Hmm..," Borys scratched his neck in thought, "she turned up on my doorstep just a week ago, and stayed with me for two nights. She said she hitchhiked all the way from Egypt...after stopping off to see a couple of cousins along the way, of course."

"Sounds like those sightings of her were real then!" Dakota said offhandedly.

Borys shrugged. "Yah, probably. They, ehh, match with what she told me about her trip."

"Did she say where she was heading to next?" Sam asked.

"Yah," the man nodded. "She was going to visit my brother up in Minsk in Belarus. I offered to drive her, but she said no. Haven't heard from her since, though. I'm a little worried, to tell you the truth," he added with a sheepish look, "since my brother should have called and said she was there by now."

"Wow," Sam said in concern. "I hope you get that call soon."

"But don't worry, though," Dakota added in a more chipper tone, "we here at Total Drama Aftermath will do our best to find out where Staci is."

"Thank you, kind Total Drama people," Borys told them. "I cannot say how much this means to the family. We are all very proud of Staci, and we are happy she has such good television friends who are looking out for her."

"Thanks, Borys," Blaineley chimed in. "Though I don't really get why you're so _proud_ of Staci. Don't you know she was the first person kicked off in both seasons she's been in? I hate to break it to you, but most people think of her as an annoying loser."

"True," Borys admitted, "but at least she is _famous_ annoying loser. It might not seem like much to you, but being the first person eliminated on a famous reality TV program _two times_ is a big deal in our family. The rest of us wouldn't have even gotten on the show in the first place!"

"Wow, really?" Sam asked. "But there's so many of you!"

"What can I say? Whole family is _cursed_ with mediocrity." Borys shrugged helplessly. "It is probably why Staci has such an, ehh, overactive imagination when it comes to telling people about us. We are all goatherds, or janitors, or middle management, you know, boring things. Nobody interesting in _entire_ family tree. I can't really blame her for lying about what her family has done, but please, do not hold it against her. She is very nice girl, and we are all _very_ proud of what she has been able to do."

"Aww," Dakota and the audience cooed as the camera cut back to the studio again. "That's so sweet! I hope you hear from her soon," the hostess added.

"Yeah," Sam chimed in. "We'll make sure to let you know if we get word of her first."

"Thank you," Borys told them. "It means so much to me, and to entire family."

"Talk to you later, Borys," Sam said with a wave that the man returned just before the feed cut off.

"Now," Dakota told the camera," as it turns out, we do have _another_ possible Staci sighting from northern Ukraine that was taken just after she left her Uncle Borys. We didn't tell him about it, though, because...well, just take a look!"

The crowd gasped sharply as another still image appeared on-screen, depicting a figure silhouetted against a full moon. It's general body shape and ponytail were definitely reminiscent of the currently-missing girl, but the long pointed ears, long bushy tail, and the fact that it was howling at the moon set it distinctly apart.

"What?!" Jo exclaimed from her seat in the Peanut Gallery. "C'mon, that's just some _dog_! You can't seriously expect us to believe that's _her_ , do you?"

"Well, there _is_ a reason we didn't show it to her uncle," Dakota said.

"Still, it's kinda funny knowing there's some _dog_ or something out there that looks like Staci," Sam added. "Plus the person who sent it in _was_ pretty insistent that it was her. They said it sounded exactly like Staci."

"As if," Amy scoffed. "They probably just made that up to get you to show a picture of their dumb pet on TV."

"I'm with Amy," Blaineley said. "You two _seriously_ need to do a better job vetting the viewer submissions."

"And _you_ need to realize that this is _our_ show," Dakota shot back, motioning to herself and Sam. "We're the hosts who decide what gets shown on-air, you're just the roving reporter who could stand to _rove_ a little more."

"Hey hey, don't forget that I'm here too," Topher interrupted, ignoring the phone ringing in front of him. "I was the show's _first_ roving reporter, so _I_ should be the one going out to do interviews in the field. I say let Blaineley be co-host!"

"Thank you, Topher," Blaineley told the boy, "it's nice to know _someone_ here appreciates real talent."

" _Anyway_ ," Sam said forcefully, "I think we all have a pretty good idea now of what Staci's been up to."

"Not to mention some _clues_ about Scarlett and Dawn," Dakota added.

"But we've still got a _ton_ of stuff to show you guys," Sam continued.

"Two more guests, and all the pain and excitement you guys love to watch!" Dakota said happily.

"Make sure you send in your donations," Sam told the camera, "and we'll see you after the break."

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed on the Aftermath's title screen, it's theme playing as the words gleamed and the feed cut to the studio. The Peanut Gallery were busy answering calls, the phone number was on the screen, and the hosts were in the middle of a hushed conversation as the camera panned to them.

"I know you don't like it," Dakota told her boyfriend, "but I really think we're gonna have to break it out to get the money we need."

"I know," Sam sighed sadly. "Hopefully we won't have to use it for very long, and-what?" he asked in a louder voice to someone off-screen. "We're _on_?!"

The eyes of the two hosts went wide as they quickly turned their full attention to the cameras. "And we're back, live!" Sam said.

"Welcome back to the most _dramatic_ telethon ever," Dakota greeted. "Let's check in with Blaineley for our _new_ total."

The shot cut to the older woman who had her arms crossed and a haughty look on her face. "I was wondering when you'd get to that, Dakota. Drumroll please!" She looked up at the donation tracker, which rolled up to $100,298.00 with a trendy jingle.

"Sweet," Sam grinned as the audience began to cheer, "we broke a hundred thousand!"

" _Yeah_ ," Blaineley said bluntly, "too bad that's not even _half_ of our goal."

"I...guess we'll just have to raised the other four-hundred thousand in the next ten minutes," Dakota said uncertainly.

"Luckily, our next guest is _sure_ to get the viewers pumped up about calling in," Sam said confidently. "I know I'm pumped up about him being here. Please welcome the King of Partying, _Geoff_!"

"Yo, dudes, so great to be here again!" Geoff greeted with a cheery wave as he walked out on-stage to the roar of the audience. He shared a kiss with Bridgette as he passed the guest couch, then bumped fists with Sam and sat down.

"It's great to have you back!" Dakota told him. "Now why don't you tell the viewers what you'll give them if they donate in your name?"

"Okay, check it dudes," Geoff told the camera. "Everyone that donates two hundred dollars or more is totally gonna get an invite to a massive party thrown by _moi_. It's gonna be _killer_ , dudes, so call in!"

The camera cut to the Peanut Gallery, who were answering another round of phone calls with mostly happy expressions.

"Looks like you're gonna have a lotta guests, man," Sam told the party-lover.

"Awesome, dude, the more the merrier!" Geoff replied.

"Ooh, it's gonna be _great_!" Dakota squealed expectantly. "But I think we _all_ know there's more to you than just parties. Let's talk about the bumpy road that you and Bridgette faced this season."

The two blonds on the guest couch shared a look and put there arms around one another. "Not much to talk about," Geoff told the hosts.

"Yeah," Bridgette added. "We thought we could handle being on different teams, but since one of us was always winning we never really got to see each other all that much."

"And I let Scott get into my head," Geoff added sadly. "He was makin' me all paranoid, and then suddenly you were gone and I just...I guess I never really got myself back together. I'm still really sorry for everything that happened, Bridge."

"Aww, I know," Bridgette told him sweetly, the lovers looking into each others eyes. "And believe me, I totally forgive you." The audience 'aww'ed as they kissed again, and the camera cut to Blaineley rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"Great," she quipped, "another _love_ fest. Can't you show something more _exciting_ to get the viewers to call in?"

Sam and Dakota gave her an annoyed look before smiling at the camera. "Actually," Dakota said, "we have something like ready to go."

"In honor of Geoff and Bridgette," Sam added, "here's all their best, and most _painful_ , moments from throughout the season in a very special 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark'!" The four teens looked up at the big screen as it cut from static to the montage of pain, set to a grander version of the segment's usual chipper tune.

xxx

The first clip opened on Bridgette hesitantly walking through the cargo hold. "Oh, this is from one of Shawn's 'zombie hunts'," she explained from off-screen. "Uhh...do we really have to show this?" she added as she crept up next to a towering pile of junk.

"C'mon, babe, it's all in good fun," Geoff reassured her as the clip continued, showing a rat run up to the past Bridgette and startle her. The surfer jumped and bumped the stack of junk, which fell with a crash behind her. She winced and the audience chuckled, then past-Bridgette cautiously checked behind the remaining crate and saw Shawn's arms sticking out from the rubble.

"Sorry, Shawn!" the real Bridgette said.

"Don't worry, babe, he's fine!" Geoff told her as the next clip began, showing the party boy running through the snow carrying a shovel full of sausage meat. He tripped suddenly, sending both shovel and meat flying off-screen to the left. The camera quickly caught up, just in time to catch it all smacking Scott in the back of the head and knocking the devious farmer into the sausage casing. "Hah! I forgot how awesome that was!" Geoff laughed.

"Haha," Bridgette joined in, "that _was_ pretty funny."

The third clip focused on the surfer again, this time showing her and her teammates speeding through the absurdly spacious New York sewers. Bridgette seemed to be standing at the back of their boat keeping an eye out behind them, and thus didn't see the low-hanging pipe that slammed into the back of her head and knocked her off the boat. The audience laughed, but the real Bridgette groaned audibly.

"Aww babe," Geoff told her, "why didn't you tell me you got hurt?"

"Sorry, I just never had the chance," Bridgette told him apologetically.

"That's okay," he replied as the next clip began, "I get it." It showed Geoff in the pose he'd ended his verse of Paris' musical number in, dipping the head of the 'Venus di Milo' as though he were about to kiss it. He noticed his teammates giving him awkward looks and immediately fumbled the severed head as he tried to shrug it off, only to gasp when he realized the statue piece was headed for the security lasers. He quickly darted forward and grabbed it, but in doing so managed to get himself zapped pretty badly.

"Ohh, I hope you're alright!" Bridgette told him in concern.

"No worries, Bridge!" he told her in a jovial tone. "I'm fine! And seeing myself go through that again was actually pretty funny. Good work on the segment, dude."

"Thanks, man," the unseen Sam answered.

"And here's the last one," Dakota chimed in as the fifth clip began – the happy couple making out in the snow of the Alps.

"Oh wow," Bridgette chuckled, "this is gonna be _bad_."

"I can't believe we did this!" Geoff added with a laugh. "You guys are gonna _love it_."

And sure enough, when the kissing couple got so distracted by one another that they rolled across the snow and off a cliff, the audience roared with laughter.

xxx

"Man, that looked _painful_ ," Sam told the two as the camera cut back to the studio and the chipper music ended.

"It _was_ ," Bridgette said.

" _Totally_ worth it, though," Geoff said.

"I'm glad you two are being so great about this!" Dakota said happily. "Now, let's see where we're at in donations. Blaineley?"

The shot cut over to the older woman who was smiling generously. "The viewers loved watching Bridgette and Geoff hurt others, _and_ get hurt themselves," she said. "So much so that we've _finally_ passed the halfway point of our five-hundred-thousand goal!" She motioned up to the donation tracker, which rolled up to $260,549.00 total.

"Awesome!" Geoff cheered.

"Too bad we still have a ways to go," Dakota pouted, "and only one guest left, too."

"I'm sure we'll make it there," Sam told her. "And since our last guest is basically responsible for every elimination so far this season, I'm _sure_ we're gonna get a lot of exciting material out of him."

"Say hello to the devious player we all love to hate," Dakota said by way of introduction, " _Scott_!" She motioned to the side as the farmer walked out to a chorus of boos, the sneer on his face becoming wary as he looked first at the crowd and then at the others on stage.

"Heh, tough crowd," he remarked as he took his seat next to a glaring Geoff and Bridgette. "You'd think people would appreciate me for keeping this show _interesting_."

"Some of 'em do, man," Sam told him, "but that doesn't make any difference to all the fans of the people you got voted out."

"Why don't we take a look at _exactly_ what you did?" Dakota said, motioning up to the big screen.

xxx

A grand but dark tune played over a montage of some of Scott's moments, beginning with him messing with Team Chris' commercial while Beardo was being distracted by Sugar. Next was him making an angry remark to Lightning while their team was held at spear point, then later voting for the uber-jock. That was followed up by a short clip of him saying something to Geoff that made the party boy stick his fingers in his ears, then a clip of Scott taking a dive against Bridgette in the slap-dancing challenge. The montage ended with him having a conversation with Ezekiel and Tyler that caused the former to look uncertain and anxious, and the final scene of Scott triumphantly beating Geoff in the tiebreaker challenge.

xxx

The scene cut back to the studio as the audience murmured their disapproval. "Hey," Scott told them sharply, "don't act like _I'm_ the only one to blame for all that! Sugar's _just_ as guilty as I was!"

"Like, we know," Dakota told him. "But, umm, she's not here, and you _are_ , so _you_ get to take all the heat!"

"Great," Scott said flatly. "I guess Sugar's gonna get away with what she did _again_."

"Well, not really," Dakota told him. "I mean, we _all_ know she's up to no good."

"And honestly, dude, you kinda got what was coming to you," Sam added. "Just because she stabbed you in the back first doesn't make up for lying to your teammates and sabotaging Team Chris is Really Really Mean."

"Thanks," Scott said dryly.

"Let's...move on, okay?" Dakota said. "Since this season's Total Drama _is_ a musical, I thought it might be cool to have Scott sing for us."

"Wait, seriously?" Scott asked in shock.

"Yup!" the hostess replied.

"No way," the farmer said, waving his arms in a gesture of denial. "I had enough singing on the stupid plane."

"Uh, dude, you got kicked off because you _didn't_ sing," Sam told him bluntly. "If nothing else, don't you wanna make up for your mistake?"

"Will I get back in the game if I sing?" Scott asked.

Dakota and Sam shared a hesitant look. "Well, no," the gamer answered, " _but_ -"

"But _nothing_ ," Scott said. "I don't see why I should embarrass myself if I'm not gonna get anything out of it."

"Wow, rude much?" Dakota said in annoyance. "Seriously, this is a _charity telethon_. We all have to do our part to make sure the show keeps going!"

"So what?" Scott sneered. "Like I _care_ if this show gets canceled." The audience, hosts, and guests gasped dramatically. "Jeez, don't act so shocked," Scott told them. "This show's treated me like _trash_ , why should I wanna _save_ it?"

"I don't know, for your _fans_ maybe?" Dakota told him.

"...wait, I have _fans_?" Scott asked incredulously.

"He has _fans_?" Geoff repeated in shock before turning to Bridgette and whispering "Did I hear her right? Scott has _fans_?"

"Well yeah, we all do," Sam explained. "Yours mostly just really loved your strategies...for some reason..., and thought you were robbed of the win both times you played. And I think a few just think you're hot and wanna redeem you...for some reason..."

"Oh really," Scott said with a growing smirk. "Well on second thought, maybe I _will_ play along," he told the hosts, causing them to share a smirk. "After all, I sure wouldn't mind having another chance at the game. Finally show people what I can _really_ do."

"Does that mean you'll sing?" Dakota asked expectantly.

"Nope," Scott answered bluntly, stunning the hostess. "I'm afraid I just can't think of anything to sing about right now, and I doubt my fans wanna watch me flounder awkwardly on-stage for a few minutes."

Dakota sighed. "Aww, there goes _that_ idea...I guess we'll just have to move on to something else." She gave Sam a look that caused the gamer's eyebrows to shoot up.

"Oh yeah, I guess we _do_ have something prepared, huhuh," he said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. "Hey Scott, you mind coming backstage with me a bit? This is something you're gonna help us with."

"Fine," Scott grumbled, standing up with the gamer host. "This isn't gonna _hurt_ , is it?" he asked as he followed Sam off stage right.

"Uhh...that...depends on what happens," Sam answered awkwardly.

"Great..." the farmer grumbled as they disappeared backstage.

"And while they get ready," Dakota told the camera, " _I'll_ keep this telethon moving. Let's see," she looked thoughtful for a moment, "how about..."

"Something that's _sure_ to appeal to the female demographic," Blaineley interrupted, stepping up next to the guest couch. "Though I don't think you or Bridgette are gonna like it..."

"Hrmm...," Dakota said uncertainly, "well, if it'll help raise money, you might as well show it."

"Sure thing," Blaineley smiled, motioning up at the big screen as a sensual song began to play and Alejandro was shown squirting lotion onto his bare chest, some of his hair tied back in a short ponytail. A distinctly feminine chorus was heard from the crowd.

"Wait, seriously?" Bridgette said in shock, averting her gaze from the screen. "Alejandro is still popular? But he's _evil_!"

"And _gorgeous_ ," Blaineley said. "And audience research tells us that people _loved_ the dynamic you and Alejandro had on the plane, it had _all_ the makings of a great good girl-bad boy showmance. It's a shame you were voted off so early." The footage was shown again, showing Alejandro running across the beach and giving the camera one of his trademark gleaming smiles that made the women in the audience go wild.

"I have a boyfriend, you know," Bridgette said forcefully, grabbing onto Geoff but still purposely looking away from the screen. "And even if I didn't, I still wouldn't fall for him. How could I, after everything he's done?"

"Well _Dakota_ seems to disagree," Blaineley said with a knowing look at the hostess, who was currently staring up at the footage of Alejandro with a faint blush on her face.

"Dakota!" Bridgette said in shock.

"C'mon Dakota, what would Sam think if he saw you right now?" Geoff added. "You can't do that to the guy!"

"Nnnn...I _know_ ," Dakota whined. "I just...forgot how _hot_ he was, okay?"

"Looks like the _viewers_ didn't," Blaineley said, looking back at the donation tracker as it rapidly rolled up. "We already got another hundred thousand just from Alejandro alone!" she said as the current total stopped at $370,389.00 overall. "Things are really heating up out here!" she said mischievously as she fanned herself. "And there's more where that came from, folks!"

"Sure is!" Sam chimed in with a chuckle as he came back out on-stage. He immediately noticed the awkward looks on Bridgette, Geoff, and Dakota's faces and frowned. "Uh, did something happen while I was gone?"

"Oh, nothing much," Blaineley told him playfully, "just your girlfriend making eyes at some clips of _Alejandro_."

"Oh, is that all," Sam said dismissively.

"Uhh...aren't you even a little bit mad at her?" Blaineley asked in confusion.

"Not really," Sam said. "I mean, he may be way better looking than I am, but _he_ doesn't have Dakota's heart."

"Aww," Dakota said sweetly, the audience and guests echoing her sentiment.

"Aaand, there goes the _drama_ ," Blaineley muttered flatly.

"Oh don't worry," Sam told her with a chuckle, "it's about to come back." He turned to the camera and adopted an uncertain sort of grin. "It's time for our newest segment, 'Truth or Consequences'!" A game show tune played as he motioned stage right, and a large wooden platform was pushed out by a pair of interns. Mounted on top of the platform was a giant roulette wheel to which Scott was strapped. The wheel was subdivided into twelve sections; eleven of which were stamped with the faces of an Aftermath host, guest, or Peanut Gallery member; the twelfth section bore the music note icon used to signal impending musical numbers. On top of the wheel was a two-sided electronic display, the left side showing a green check-mark and the right side a red X; both sides were currently unlit. The audience began to clap and cheer as soon as the contraption was rolled out.

"Hey, I don't think my _fans_ wanna see me tied up like this!" Scott yelled angrily.

Sam shrugged. "Who knows, some might," he replied. "And I know all your _haters_ are gonna love it!"

"Here's how this game is gonna work," Dakota added, walking up next to her boyfriend but addressing the audience. "We spin the wheel and whoever it lands on gets to ask Scott here a question," she explained with a mischievous smile, motioning first to the smiling head of Geoff on the nearest wheel section and then to the panicked-looking Scott. "They can ask him whatever they want, but _you guys_ get to call in and decide how hard the question is with your donations."

"And if Scott lies or gets the question wrong," she continued with another motion to stage right as the interns returned – one carrying a large barrel of crabapples, another two pushing a large pool of water into position below the platform. "Then whoever asked the question gets to throw one of _these_ at Scott." The heiress smiled as she picked up one of the nasty-looking fruits and tossed it in one hand. "And if he gets hit five times or more...," she added, tossing the crabapple over her shoulder and into the pool, a tentacle immediately rising up to snatch the fruit and crush it into pulp.

Scott yelped in terror.

"Huhuh, yeah," Sam chuckled nervously, "he'd better make sure not to get hit. Oh, and see that music space?" the gamer added, the camera cutting to a close-up of the music note icon. "If the wheel lands on that, then Scott has to _sing_ the rest of his answers or the asker gets a free shot."

"You, uh, you sure this isn't going a little _overboard_?" Scott asked nervously.

"Sorry, Scott, but we really need the money!" Dakota told him with a pout that quickly became smile again as she and Sam took their spots on the platform next to the wheel and the Peanut Gallery walked up next to the platform. "Now let's play 'Truth or _Consequences_ '!"

The game show jingle played again as Dakota took the first turn, reaching up and spinning the wheel with a grunt of effort. It managed to go around three times before stopping, the pointer at the top landing on the music note.

"Ouch, bad luck there, man," Sam told the schemer with a sympathetic wince. "You're gonna have to _sing_ the rest of your answers. Speaking of..." He took his turn at the wheel; it landed on... "Beardo, step on down!" the gamer told the beatboxer, who stepped forward eagerly. "Blaineley, tell us what difficulty we've got!"

The shot cut to the Peanut Gallery, now empty save for a harried Blaineley trying to answer four of the phones at once. "Harsh!" she replied.

"You heard her," Sam smirked, the gesture returned by Beardo as he grabbed one of the crabapples and turned to Scott.

~/~

[The same melody that had played during part of Beardo's song on the previous Aftermath rose up quickly as the beatboxer began.]

" _Yo, so when you all decided to to control this game, didja write down names, or choose targets as they came, Scott_?"

[Beardo rapped quickly, surprising Scott.]

" _Uhh, we never really focused on a target that we'd chosen, we just cared about the team, not about who got voted_?"

[Scott's hesitant yet frantic answer followed the same beat Beardo had laid down, but a buzzing noise from the top of the wheel and the red X lighting up caused Scott's hopeful smile to fade into a panicked look.]

~/~

"Your rhyme's okay, but your answer's _not_ , dude," Beardo said simply before chucking his crabapple at Scott and nailing him in the right arm. "Guess you and Sugar really _did_ try to sabotage specific people."

"Oww!" Scott said in pain as Beardo walked away, and the game show theme replaced the beatboxer's music.

"Let's see who's next," Dakota said chipperly before giving the wheel another spin. It landed on Dakota's own space. "Ooh, me!" she squealed happily. "And the difficulty?"

"Major!" Blaineley answered, now balancing on one leg so she could handle the receivers from most of the phones.

Dakota smiled.

~/~

[As the heiress-turned-hostess began to sing as well, the same melody that had opened the episode's earlier song began to play again.]

" _So Scott, please answer me! So Scott, what did you like? So Scott, about your time on the shoo~oow_?"

" _Dakota, there's nothing that; I've ever, enjoyed about, this show! It's been a pain in the buu~uutt_!"

[Scott's response was harsh and disbelieving, and the subsequent buzzer from above startled him.]

~/~

"Ooh, somebody's _lying_ ," Dakota said with a mischievous look. "Maybe one of the others can _squeeze_ the answer out of him?" As she posed her question to the camera, the tentacle in the pool rose up perilously close to Scott. It ducked back down as Dakota threw her crabapple, hitting Scott in the left knee.

"Next up," Sam said as he gave the wheel another spin, "Bridgette!" Surprisingly, the surfer didn't look very hesitant as she stepped forward and grabbed a crabapple. "Where are we at, Blaineley?" Sam asked, the camera cutting away again.

"Brutal!" the older woman replied, a few cords tangled around her waist.

Bridgette took a breath, then looked up at Scott.

~/~

[The music used for Bridgette's question came from her duet with Alejandro in the Yukon, though her line was short and simple.]

" _How can you live with all the trouble that you've caused_?"

" _It's just a game, I'll never care about, all the people that I beat._ "

[Scott's singing was getting better and coming quicker, but the buzzer and red X on top of the wheel indicated yet another falsehood.]

~/~

Bridgette shook her head. "You're just making things harder for yourself, y'know," she told him before pelting him in the forehead with her crabapple and walking away.

Scott just grunted in irritation.

"Three hits down," Sam said as he prepared to spin the wheel again. "Two more and you're done, dude." He spun the wheel, and the game show jingle played as the camera watched it land on the uber-jock. "Lightning, you're up!" Sam called out.

"Sha- _zam_!" Lightning said, eagerly sliding up to the barrel of fruit and picking up a crabapple. He looked expectantly in the direction of the Peanut Gallery.

"Ridiculous!" Blaineley shouted, balancing six phones and picking up the ringing seventh immediately after hanging it up.

Lightning smirked.

~/~

[The melody accompanying the latest questioner was, of course, taken from the song he'd sung the previous Aftermath; his question was given hard and fast.]

" _Sha-Lightning thinks your schemin' self ain't really all you got; so tell us, dude, now where did Zeke fit in your little plot_?"

" _Ezekiel? Well...eventually I was gonna tell him what was really going on and take him to the end?_ "

[Though his verse didn't quite fit the lyrical pattern of the original song, Scott's answer matched the rhythm well enough and surprised the hosts and Lightning jock when the box on top of the wheel dinged and the green check mark lit up.]

~/~

"Okay then," Lightning said blankly with his brow raised. "Sha-Lightning did _not_ expect you were gonna take the dude all the way."

"And the first real answer, too," Dakota added as she began to spin the wheel again. "I guess the viewers will just have to raise the difficulty a little." She winked at the camera, then looked over at Blaineley. "And the difficulty?"

"Nearly _impossible_!" Blaineley answered as the camera cut to her with three receivers cradled between her shoulder and neck, another two in her hand, and the last two ringing behind her. Cords were wrapped around most of her body.

"And our next questioner is...Geoff!" Dakota announced, turning her attention to the stopped wheel.

"Awesome, dudes!" the party-lover said, stepping forward and clearing his throat.

~/~

[Geoff's part in the musical medley came from his and Bridgette's section of the Bavarian remix of 'Eine kleine Nachtmusik' that was used in the Alps.]

" _Oookaaay, why pick Zeke? He's not that weak, and I don't think that you could count on bea-ting-him_!"

" _Beee-caauuse, somehow I just trust the guy and figured sticking with him would ea-si-est_."

[Scott's answer was given sheepishly, though he was upside down as he sang. The ding of the green check mark lighting up signified another truth, surprising Geoff and the others.]

~/~

"There, I admit it!" Scott said. "Zeke's a twerp, but he's also the only person who's stuck by me all this time. I don't really _believe_ in friendship like the rest of you, but I still figured I could at least pay him back a little for trying to be there for me or _whatever_."

"Y'know, I'm actually kinda glad to hear it," Sam said with a small smile.

"Yeah, it totally makes you more, like, _human_ ," Dakota added. "I bet your fans will really like it!"

"Good for them," Scott said dryly. "Can you let me _down_ now?"

Dakota and Sam looked over at the donation tracker, which was currently rolling up but still had the hundred-thousands displayed as '4'.

"Sorry man, but it looks like we're not quite there yet," Sam said as he gave the wheel another go. Scott groaned as he spun around and around, the game show jingle playing until the wheel finally stopped...

"Huh, it's Amy," Sam said blankly.

"Yes!" the mean twin shouted, pumping her fist and dashing forward to grab an apple.

"What's the difficulty, Blaineley?" Dakota asked.

" _Actually_ impossible!" Blaineley replied, now encased in a cocoon of telephone cords.

The hosts and Scott looked down at Amy, who grinned devilishly.

~/~

[The melody that began to play was the lead-up to the season's first musical number. Amy took a deep breath, and...]

~/~

"Okay, so, my friend Kat and I went shopping a while back, and we found the _hottest_ pair of boots. Kat said _she_ wanted to get them because they matched a skirt she already owned, but I said _I_ wanted to buy them because I knew that they would make Samey jealous. But _then_ we realized that we didn't have enough money, so I was gonna go and take some from Samey because, _hello_ , like she needs it. But then Mommy said that I should get a _job_ to pay for the boots, which is totally messed up because, like, who wants to _wait_? So my question is, _what_ should I have told Mommy?"

She said all of that very fast, and even the background music paused in disbelief.

"What the heck does _that_ have to do with _anything_?!" Scott exclaimed in utter exasperation.

The box above him buzzed, and the red X lit up.

" _Hah_!" Amy said triumphantly. "He didn't sing, so I get two shots!" She threw her fruit before anyone could react.

"Aaghh!" Scott cried in pain as the cheerleader's first crabapple hit him in the eye.

She grabbed her second and wound up her throw, but froze when Blaineley suddenly exclaimed "We've done it!"

Everyone's face lit up, even Amy's, and the camera cut to the older woman standing in a cordless daze below the donation tracker. "Dr...drumroll, please!" she said a little dizzily, and a dramatic tune played as the tracker rolled up. With a musical flourish, it stopped at $600,000.00 exactly.

"I can't believe it!" Dakota squealed excitedly as the camera moved back to her, Sam, and Scott. "We reached our five-hundred thousand dollar total!"

"Not only that," Sam added excitedly, "but we even _passed_ it by another hundred grand!"

The shot zoomed out as just about everyone began cheering, and a grandiose and victorious tune began to play.

"We did it, Sam!" Dakota said, quickly hugging her boyfriend. "We really _do_ know what the fans want!"

"I know!" Sam said happily, and the two broke apart and looked at the camera arm-in-arm.

"Thanks to your love and support, Total Drama fans" Dakota said, "all of us here still have jobs, even Blaineley! Thank you so much, you have no _idea_ how much this means to us!"

As she spoke the camera's focus wandered back down to Amy, who smirked devilishly and gripped her crabapple tighter. The energetic tune that had been playing took a sudden an ominous twist as she threw the fruit, interrupting the hostess and striking the tied-up Scott square between the legs.

"Rude!" Dakota said harshly, hands on her hips and a glare on her face while Scott squealed in pain.

"Hey, I was _supposed_ to throw that," Amy countered smugly. "It was _your_ rule, you can't complain."

Dakota made a noise of disapproval, but before she could say anything Sam tugged on her arm.

"Uhh, I'm pretty sure that was _five_ ," he said in a worried tone. "Maybe we should-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Scott's straps suddenly came undone and he flopped forward with a scream into the pool. He was immediately grabbed by a tentacle and began flailing his arms against it. The creature holding him screeched and raised another pair of tentacles, which promptly began thrashing around wildly.

Sam and Dakota quickly tried to climb off the platform, but stopped when they realized it was shaking ominously. With a sharp spike in the music the entire thing collapsed, and moments later the pool of water collapsed as well to the shock of Amy and the others who had been standing nearby.

Faced with a sudden rush of water, wood, and a giant angry octopus, most of them screamed and fled; they were joined by what sounded like a good chunk of the audience.

"Don't worry folks, the show _will_ go on!" Dakota frantically told the camera as it closed in on her and Sam ducking behind the guest couch, their clothes and hair and make-up ruined by the water.

"Especially since we have money to fix this now!" Sam added, ducking under a tentacle that was swinging a shrieking Amy around the room.

"Be sure to tune in next time," Dakota said with a forced smile, briefly ducking as Scott was swung around by his leg, "for the continuation of the world's _greatest_ reality competition ever,"

Sam joined her as they sung the season's title. "Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" The usual blaring tune played as the camera zoomed out to show the entire stage again, a few pools of water lingering around and a handful of interns doing battle with the giant octopus, which still had Scott and Amy in it's grasp.

The remaining members of the audience cheered wildly.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And thus ends the telethon, albeit a bit differently than in canon. As I didn't use the animal curse, there was no reason for a bunch of animals to trash the stage and double the total they needed, meaning I had to adjust the rate at which money came in so that the total was still reached at the end of the show.

And as there were only three guests instead of four, I had to extend the Total Drama Fugitives segment to compensate. Luckily, between the addition of Scarlett and all the stuff for Staci that I thought up a few weeks ago, I was able to make it up easily. How did you all like it?

Other than that, we had the reunion of Geoff and Bridgette, concluding their arc this season on a good note. And it seems like both of them will be spending some time with the fans soon...

Then we have Scott...to be honest, I'm not entirely sure if his opening up at the end was paced right, or if it works at all, but I'm pretty happy with it. He's still a prickly scheming villain who doesn't like other people, but he does have a slight soft spot for Zeke and was kinda bummed about how things went down with him. Also, his ego is easy to stroke.

The songs this week were a Shuffled version of 'Save This Show', which I kept because I figured the song wouldn't have been written by Geoff and Bridgette in canon so there was no reason not to recycle it. The second, of sorts, is called 'Medley of Pain'; admittedly I did it that way because I couldn't think up a good song for Scott to have. Still, even though it might be a little awkward, I think it works for both the scene and the episode as a whole. Though, of course, I'd like to hear all your thoughts about it.

Let me know what you thought of this wrap-up of the second quarter, and what you're expecting moving forward. Until next week, and Happy Halloween!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (14th Place? | Quit Unofficially)

Bridgette - (13th Place)

Geoff - (12th Place)

Scott - (11th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (10th Place)


	13. Chapter 13 - Roswell That Ends Well

**Author's Note**

Hello dear readers, and welcome to the start of Total Shuffled World Tour's third quarter! I have a lot in store for you in the coming weeks, so I hope you're all excited. As usual, next week's chapter stalled a little due to working out the song. But I think what I managed to come up with is great, and the chapter as a whole is really coming together well.

As mentioned last week, a new chapter of Total Drama Rebirth went up on Halloween, so if you're interested in my other work and haven't checked it out yet, feel free to do so.

On to the reviews!

 **Glowing Insanity:** Thanks! Yeah, I'm honestly pretty glad I just ignored the curse, it's forced me to be a bit more creative with a few things. Glad you liked 'Truth or Consequences', since I wasn't entirely certain that segment would go over well, and as for Blaineley...well, she's still pretty close to her canon self, I'd say.

 **TaitanoRules555:** Ah, right, okay then. Thanks for the review.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Glad you liked it so much! I figured the Scott-haters would like the chapter. Good to hear you liked the Dawn part of 'Total Drama Fugitives' as well. As for where the show is going this week, you're right in that it would normally be England, but this _is_ the Shuffledverse after all...

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Thanks!

 **DSX62415:** Thanks! But honestly, it was just the one octopus, and it came so late into the episode that I really didn't want to have it raise the donation total they needed.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yeah, that's kind of what i was going for with Scott. The guy does have some heart, after all, even if it's pretty tiny.

 **aloasa:** Darn, I'm sorry I wasn't able to chance your enjoyment of the second Aftermath. Oh well, I hope you enjoy this week's episode better.

 **Animation Adventures:** I'm glad you liked it! And yeah, Dakota not being able to contribute is sad, but necessary otherwise the entire plot of the episode doesn't happen. Regarding Bridgette and Geoff rolling down into a snowball as they made out, I honestly didn't think of it but I can't say whether I would've gone with it had I; I might've thought it too lengthy or something. I'm really happy you liked my take on Staci's backstory; for the longest time I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to do with her, but I'm really happy with what I went with. She's annoying, but she does have a family who loves. Speaking of humanization, I'm glad Scott's bit with admitting Zeke kinda meant something to him has gone over so well. As for Amy...well, as horrible a person as she is, it makes her useful to have around. And as for what Blaineley will do next...you'll have to wait to find out.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Hmmm...yeah, I can see why this could rank in the bottom for canon Aftermaths. Still, I'm glad you liked my version - I did my best to shake things up, and it paid off. As for your predictions of things to come...well, I will say that the relationship between DJ, Dawn, and Sammy is gonna get some focus, as will the drama between Tyler, Ella, and Alejandro...but as for specifics, you'll just have to wait and see.

 **FOWLKON:** Perhaps, but honestly while writing the chapter I figured having them reach a million when they didn't need to would be too much. A smaller boost over what they needed seemed fine, though.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Glad to hear you liked it! You're definitely right that there's no love lost between Blaineley and Sam/Dakota. And regarding what'll happen to Scarlett, you'll just have to wait and see.

 **I. M. Poik:** Ehh, like I said, trashing the studio wasn't something that I could really make happen at the same time as canon. Still, I'm glad you liked how I rectified things by changing the rate at which money came in. And as for our fugitives...well, you'll just have to wait and see what becomes of those three girls.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Haha, I was hoping you'd like Borys from Ukraine, and I'm glad you like Staci actually having a large extended family. I hope you enjoy what eventually becomes of the missing girls!

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Still not caught up, but I'm glad you liked chapter 3 and 4 even if you were disappointed that Beardo had to go. I get the feeling you're not gonna be that happy with some of the eliminations, but what's done is done. I'm really glad you're liking the songs, at least, and I hope you still enjoy the overall story that's being told this season.

 **Knifez:** I won't comment on my plans for Scarlett, but I am glad you liked the interviews last chapter. Likewise, it makes me happy that people are liking my idea of actually having Staci on a tour of Europe visiting some of her relatives. As always, thanks for the review!

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Well, not so much on the run so much as stowing away on the Total Drama jet to plot her revenge. I'm glad you liked what happened with Scott on the Aftermath - I wanted something that would be punishing and humiliating, but that would also humanize him a little bit and it looks like it really went well. I did consider having at least some mention of Brody in relation to Geoff, but as the main focus of the episode was Staci and Scott, I decided against it. As for what will happen this week...well, although this would normally have been London like you said, things aren't always the same in the Shuffledverse...

 **wifishark:** For three separate definitions of 'on the run' anyway...Dawn has her mysterious mission, Scarlett's hiding in plain sight, and Staci just kind of wandered off to do her own thing. The resolution of these three arcs will be...interesting, I hope.

And that's it for this week's batch of reviews. As usual, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work. I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far!

It hasn't changed since last week (again), but as a reminder here's who remains in the competition:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Tyler

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Shawn, Sierra, DJ

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar

Remember how I said at the start of the season how the Shuffled locations would be confined to the first half of the season? Things change, I'm afraid, so instead of London the plane will be headed to Area 51 in New Mexico...

Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 13 – Roswell That Ends Well**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour," Chris opened, the recap beginning with a shot of Team Universe enjoying first class. "We had some... _mechanical difficulties_ ," the plane was showing dropping out of the sky and the three teams panicked in the shaking cabins, "and ended up in hot water, Jamaica style. No problem, mon!" The plane crash-landed on the unknown beach, and the waterfall was shown as Chris attempted a Jamaican accent for his last sentence.

"Especially _Scott_ , after Sugar got spooked and threw him to the _eels,_ " Scott's botched attempt at contacting his secret ally was followed by their argument in the water, ending in her forcibly dunking him and swimming away as he got shocked, "leading to our _first_ disqualification for not singing." Chris was shown breaking the new to the bedridden Scott, then walking away to leave him stunned.

"Stranded, and short of gas money," Chris and Chef were shown lounging poolside and getting served fresh drinks, "we were forced to improvise." A panning shot of the bobsled course was followed by a close-up of Scarlett and Sammy's disastrous run. "And Scarlett finally got what was coming to her, and got booted out. Or _did_ she?" The brainiac was shown jumping off the plane, then jumping up into the shadowy cargo hold.

"But thanks to a _rockin_ ' telethon that raised a _tankload_ of cash from our viewers," a clip of the octopus tank falling apart and wrecking the stage at the end of the previous Aftermath was shown, as well as the donation tracker rolling up to $600,000.00 and Blaineley getting tangled up in telephone cords. "And hey, thanks for that, eh?" Chris added in a low aside before continuing with "We're ready to get back in the air!"

A shot of the plane rising away from the camera, the host visibly waving from an open doorway, ended the recap montage. The scene moved to the cockpit, where Chris was happily slurping on some drink with a lemon wedge in it. "Oh man, that's refreshing!" he said, tossing the glass away – it shattered on the wall just past Chef's head, and the lemon wedge fell on the control panel. "Vacation's over! It's time for some more, Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" As the scene zoomed out, it was revealed to be night again, and the plane was flying in front of the moon. A shooting star passed overhead just as the music ended.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened on a shot of the plane flying across the night sky, a slightly tense plucked-string tune playing as the scene cut to an isolated corner of the dining area where Sammy and DJ were seated side-by-side, reading the letter in Sammy's hands.

"To my dearest friends," the cheerleader read as a mystical tune took over the background music. "I hope you find this letter soon, so that my sudden departure does not hurt you more than I know it will. I deeply apologize for what I am about to do, but I'm afraid I see no other choice. I know that if I try to tell you in person, I'll never be able to do what must be done." Sammy and DJ shared a worried look, and they continued reading.

"My restless sleep in the Amazon was due to a dream sent to me, a vision of things to come. It showed me a dangerous person coming to a far away place, one who could gain enough power there to cause untold harm to the Earth Mother and all her children." DJ and Sammy shared another surprised look. "However, the vision made it clear that if I were present at that moment, I could _stop_ the threat. To that end, I have decided to abandon the competition and allow the Universe to guide me to the place where I am needed."

"Please, don't take this as a sign that I don't care about you two, for things couldn't be further from the truth. I...," Sammy faltered slightly, and DJ put a comforting arm on her shoulder, "I truly wish I could be with both of you, but I can not. I promise, though, that once my task is done I shall do my best to reunite with both of you."

The two readers smiled softly. "But for now, I leave you with a warning: I believe Scott and Sugar may be working together in secret. As I was attempting to get a better feel for the plane after we left Japan, I stumbled upon them meeting in the cargo hold. I did not hear what they said, but as their auras contain no signs of love or affection for each other I can only assume their devious hearts have come together for another purpose. Please keep an eye on them, so that they do not cause any harm."

"Until the glorious day that the Universe brings us back together, Dawn."

Sammy and DJ spent a few moments in silence.

"Wow," DJ finally said.

"I know," Sammy replied. "I couldn't believe it either when I first saw it."

"Guess we owe Sugar for gettin' this for us," DJ said thoughtfully. "Though I wish we'd gotten it sooner. Not only could we have found out where Dawn went, but we probably coulda saved Sugar from getting' into all her trouble too."

"True," Sammy said, "but there's nothing we can do about that now. I just hope _Dawn_ is okay, though; having to save the world or whatever seems pretty harsh."

"Yeah," DJ agreed.

The two were silent for a moment before, at the same time, they said "I wish we could help her."

/

The scene cut to first class, the mystical tune being replaced by the tense plucked-string melody from earlier. Shawn and Sierra were sitting opposite one another, reclining in their seats and looking rather relaxed.

"So...what do you think about Sugar?" Sierra asked suddenly and bluntly.

"Uhh...she's kinda _weird_ , but after what went down in Jamaica I think she's probably harmless right now."

"Hrmm...," Sierra said, narrowing her eyes in displeasure.

/

Another flash took the scene to economy class, where Tyler and Ezekiel sat on the left side of the wall and Alejandro, Ella, and Sugar occupied the right.

"Ahh, it's so much more _peaceful_ around here without Scarlett and Scott to aggravate us, don't you agree Sugar?" Alejandro asked with a smirk.

"Yup!" Sugar chuckled. "Sure is a load offa my mind, not havin' to worry about keepin' those two happy. I'm ashamed I got in with them in the first place, to be honest."

"But of course," Alejandro smiled confidently.

xxx

"I'll admit that I didn't expect Sugar to form a secret alliance without me realizing," Alejandro confessed, "but it's hardly of any consequence. Now that it's gone, all she can do is get in _my_ good graces. It won't help her if we lose, but should we make the merge together she could prove a useful asset." He ended his confessional with an evil laugh.

xxx

"I know it's just the two of us now," Tyler told Ezekiel, "but I am _not_ gonna let that get us down. You and I got some pretty sweet moves, and with nobody left to hold us back, it's gonna be the two of us, all the way to the end, baby! _Yeah_!" He threw an arm around Ezekiel's shoulders, waved a hand in front of them as though revealing the horizon, and then pumped a fist.

"Yeah!" Ezekiel copied. "We don't need other _team members_ , eh, not when we got the two of us!"

"Woo!" Tyler cheered, the two boys sharing a high-five.

"You know, it really warms my heart seeing the two of you staying so _positive_ after everything that's happened," Ella told them with a happy smile.

"Thanks," Tyler said with what he must've thought was a charming smile. "Zeke's been feeling a little down, so since I'm always confident I figured I'd share it with him." He rubbed his nose proudly, and added "It's what I do."

"Well, confidence is certainly _good_ ," Alejandro told them with a small laugh, "but I'd advise you not to go overboard. You're outnumbered, and your skills are _far_ from good enough to even things out. I wouldn't be surprised if you two were the next two to be eliminated."

"Now now," Ella scolded him, "don't say that! I know this is a competition, but there's no reason we can't all be friendly with each other!"

"But of course," Alejandro explained. "I merely wanted to prevent them from becoming _over_ confident and putting themselves at even greater risk."

"I know," Ella pouted, "but that's no reason to be so _harsh_ about it."

"...yes," Alejandro said, seemingly cowed. "My apologies, friends," he told the two boys of Team Victory, neither of which looked like they believed him.

xxx

Ella opened her confessional by sighing. "Alejandro has been nothing but the _perfect_ gentleman towards me," she told me, "and I _do_ believe he's my one true love. But sometimes, it's like I'm the only one who _sees_ that. And for such an eloquent man," she frowned and looked to her right, "he could pick his words better."

xxx

The season's world map was shown as the music picked up its pace, the plane icon flying northwest from the Caribbean across North America. The shot cut to a head-on view of the cockpit from outside the plane, showing the inflatable Chef Hatchet in the pilot's seat and nothing else around. Some piece of equipment inside the plane began beeping, and the camera showed the view from inside as a pair of greenish-colored flying saucers suddenly darted up in front of the plane, the moved on above it. Back outside, the two UFOs zapped the plane with some kind of electric-like ray that enveloped the jet in an odd green light.

Inside, Chris and Chef were busy playing chess in the host's quarters as the plane began to shake and sirens started going off. "Huh," Chris said as he made his move, "you _sure_ the plane was totally fixed?"

Chef just shrugged, eyes glued to the board.

Chris took out a PA microphone and pressed the button on it, then calmly said "Attention, potential crash victims! Please remain calm! Our autopilot is testing some equipment!" The scene briefly cut to a loudspeaker in the cargo hold, which Scarlett was partly visible looking up at, her bulky shock collar still noticeable around her neck. "Snacks in the common area if you don't believe me," Chris added as the shot cut back to him, "and want a last meal."

The camera cut to a close-up of a bowl of fruit, quickly zooming out to show the nine contestants gathered around it – Sugar, Ella, and Alejandro on the right; Tyler, Ezekiel, Shawn, Sierra, Sammy, and DJ on the left.

"What kinda snacks are _these_?" Sugar complained, picking up a mango and stuffing it in her mouth. "Some last meal this turned out to be," she added with her mouth full of fruit.

"Frankly, I'm surprised we got _anything_ ," Shawn said, breaking a banana off the bunch and peeling it.

"Yeah, Chris ain't exactly the type to spend a lotta money on us, eh," Ezekiel added.

"Well, we all survived the other crashes, so we're probably good anyway," Tyler said, picking up a peach. "Hey Ella, want one?"

"Oh yes, please," the singer answered with a smile, holding out her hands. Tyler grinned and prepared a throw, but the shaking plane caused his hand to slip and he ended up hitting Ella in the forehead with the peach instead.

Tyler winced. "Wow, I'm so sorry about that," he said, darting over to her side as Alejandro quickly steadied her.

"Oh, that's okay," Ella told him, gingerly touching where she'd been hit. "Accidents happen."

Tyler smiled in relief, and Alejandro narrowed his eyes at him.

xxx

"So it seems the New Guy has _finally_ started trying to get Ella's attention," Alejandro said in the restroom confessional. "Of course, he doesn't stand a _chance_ so long as _I'm_ around. I won't let him! Ella is _far_ too useful to me to risk her affection wavering. Of course," he smirked evilly, "once I'm done with her and they're both out of the competition, Tyler can have whatever _scraps_ of Ella's fragile innocence remain."

He held his smirk for a second, then groaned irritably and pinched the bridge of his nose.

xxx

"I'm glad you're okay," Alejandro told Ella, his arms still around her. "I don't know what I'd _do_ if you'd been seriously hurt!"

"That's sweet," Ella blushed, "but really, I'm fine. It was just a little peach, after all." She stood up straight again, and grabbed another peach. "I do hope something happens soon, though. I can just _feel_ the anticipation." She took a small bite of her fruit.

The lights in the room suddenly cut out, and only the eyes could be seen of the cast. They gasped, then Ella swallowed and said "Oh my, was that me?" The others just looked at her blankly.

Back outside, the two flying saucers stopped zapping the plane and flew off. Smoke promptly poofed out of each of the jet's engines, and its inhabitants began to scream as their vessel went into a nosedive.

The plane looked like it was dropping rapidly, but just before it hit the ground it was stopped abruptly by the same ray the UFOs had zapped it with. With a metallic creak the plane rotated in mid-air so that it was right-side up, then dropped down safely when the beam cut out.

The camera cut back inside, where the lights had turned back on and the contestants were looking quite shaken. Ella, in particular, was crouching on the ground with her hand over her head. She tentatively looked up, then asked "That...that was just a coincidence, right? My biting into the peach didn't actually cause us to fall out of the sky, did it?"

"Uhh, I don't think that's possible," Tyler told her, offering her a hand up which she absentmindedly accepted.

"Tyler is...right, of course," Alejandro admitted, standing on his teammate's other side and dusting himself off. "Peaches don't generally cause engine malfunctions when they're eaten."

"Right, yes," Ella said with a sheepish blush. "That was quite silly of me, wasn't it?"

xxx

"In my defense," Ella told the restroom camera, "there are plenty of stories about fruit that curses whoever bites into it. Usually it's something like eternal slumber, or getting turned to stone, but I don't think one that causes imminent peril is _too_ farfetched."

xxx

A wolf howled mutely as the scene cut to the moon before panning down to the cast standing outside the plane, Chris now wearing sunglasses and a soldier's helmet.

"Everyone, welcome to the coolest, extraterrestrialiest place in the world," he began excitedly as the music built up, "Area _52_!"

"Fifty- _two_?" Shawn repeated nervously. "Uhh, this isn't anything like government conspiracy hotspot Area _51_ , is it?"

"I doubt it," Alejandro told him. "The show probably just couldn't afford anything better than a fake area."

"Nope," Chris corrected, "this really is Area 52. And _that's_ Area 51 right there." He pointed behind them, the view switching to a large rock formation with something illuminating the back of it. Shawn squeaked nervously.

"We're just inside the border," the host explained. "Well, all of us except for Tyler." The camera panned to the end of the line of contestants, where Tyler was standing on the other side of a faint line in the barren ground. He was promptly zapped by a laser, lifting up into the air as the energy coursed through his body.

"Tyler!" Ezekiel called out in concern as his teammate continued to get zapped.

"Thanks for the laser show, colonel," Chris said into a bulky walkie-talkie, the laser shutting off moments later and dropping Tyler to the ground with a groan and a thud. "It's good to have friends in Area 51 places," the host quipped.

"Perhaps you should have paid more attention to where you were standing," Alejandro told the jock in a slightly mocking tone as Ezekiel helped him up. Tyler just scowled at him.

xxx

"He thinks he's so _cool_ ," Tyler pouted in the restroom confessional, "but it's not like I _knew_ I was gonna get zapped if I stood there. I was just unlucky, but he's trying to make it seem like I'm a joke and totally beneath him. I just wish Ella could see that..."

xxx

"Listen up, space cases," Chris told the contestants who were now lined up in their teams before him. A television on a cart next to him turned on and cut from static to a simple overhead map of the nearby area. "The five-one is the most tightly protected military base in the _world_. Which is why tonight's challenge is gonna be so much fun!" He chuckled to himself, and the nine teens gave him annoyed and nervous looks. "For _me_."

"Part One," the shot cut in close to the left side of the TV screen, showing the three team icons lined up on one side of the rock formation. "Break into Area 51 without getting shot, gassed, plasma-rayed, or otherwise killed." The icons split and moved around the rock formation to the right, Team Universe heading north while Team Victory and Team Chris headed south, splitting up at a smaller rock formation. The main rock formation ran all the way to what looked like the main fence of the Area; to the north the ground was drawn with wavy lines; to the south it was a grid."The place is guarded by elite Black Ops soldiers, so, if anyone _does_ get all...exploded..., their untimely but hilarious demise will be blamed on a freak weather balloon accident."

"Part Two," the shot cut back to the TV again, focusing on the giant circled 51 on the right side of the screen. "Each team must fine a genuine functioning alien artifact _inside_ Area 51's infamous Black Box warehouse." A tense and trilling tune played as the camera panned across the Area, showing all manner of warehouses, satellite dishes, towers, and other things, and ultimately landing on a larger warehouse with 51 written above the door. "The place is _full_ of broken alien junk. You need to find something alien that _still works_!" A low drumroll played as the shot cut back to the host and TV. "But! Be careful, the warehouse is _loaded_ with booby traps!"

"Part Three," the trio of team icons were shown standing around the 51 logo, then making a beeline back to the left. "The winning team must bring their working artifact back to Area 52 _intact_." The logos joined up on the far side of the rock formation, forming a giant check mark. "Last team back faces elimination, and do _not_ get caught over there! Rumor has it trespassers get a memory wipe and are transferred to an alien colony, where they either become _slaves_ or _food_." The cast shared a nervous look, but none was more nervous than Shawn. "You have 'til dawn!" Chris told them. "Go!" he pointed towards the Area.

/

A few deeper notes were struck as Chris was shown walking back to the plane, the camera lingering as he passed by and zooming on the landing gear.

Scarlett slowly leaned out from behind it and looked around with narrowed, cautious eyes. "Area 51, eh?" she muttered to herself as an evil smirk formed on her lips. " _Perfect_..." Another round of deep notes played as she slinked off to the right, and the scene flashed away again.

/

The overhead map image was shown again as the team icons began to separate, the camera focusing in on the lower pair as they reached the smaller rock formation. The shot cut over to them.

"This is where we split up," Tyler said as he and Ezekiel ran ahead of DJ, Sierra, and an anxious-looking Shawn. "See ya later!"

"Good luck!" DJ told them.

"Watch out for everything!" Sierra added just before the two teams were separated by stone. The members of Team Chris regrouped behind a stone, and with a blank look Sierra murmured "Wow...!"

The viewpoint switched to theirs, showing a wide open area stretching between them and the tall electric fence surrounding the Area.

"Oh man," Shawn muttered, teeth chattering as he looked all around them.

"Uhh, you okay dude?" DJ asked, tentatively putting a hand on his teammate's shoulder only for it to be immediately repelled.

"Considering where we _are_ ," Shawn said sharply, "that's a _no_."

"But this is Area 51," Sierra told him. "There's only _alien_ stuff in there!"

"Hah! That's what they want you to think," Shawn countered. "All the alien stuff is just a _front_ for the _zombie_ experiments they conduct. Control, weaponization, mutation," he listed off on his fingers, "you name it, they do it here. And don't even get me _started_ on the zombie-alien _hybrids_!"

DJ and Sierra shared a concerned look. "Uhh...well, we still have to go in, so hopefully all that stuff is locked up tight," Sierra told him.

"I wonder if it's safe to cross?" DJ pondered as a rabbit hopped past them and into the open. The gentle giant smiled as it stopped and wiggled it's nose happily...only to take another hop and get zapped by a laser. DJ squeaked in shock and horror, and the well-singed rabbit squealed and ran back towards the rocks.

"Yeah, I think not," Shawn deadpanned as it ran past them again.

/

The overhead map was shown again, a dramatic riff playing as the camera panned up from Team Chris to Team Universe.

The four of them were also standing behind a small rock, looking out at another open area in front of the fence.

"Well, looks pretty simple to me," Sugar said confidently before stepping forward.

"No!" her three teammates yelled in unison, grabbing her and pulling her back.

"No need to be so...hasty," Alejandro told her. "We need to be _careful_ about this." He bent down, picked up a small pebble, then silently flicked it towards the fence.

It fell short and hit the bare dirt, and promptly exploded.

"Oh my!" Ella said in shock while Sugar laughed awkwardly.

"That's, like, a minefield, isn't it?" Sammy asked. "How are we supposed to get across it?"

" _Slowly_ ," Alejandro said with narrowed eyes.

"Aww shucks, this ain't _that_ hard," the pageant star told them, bending down and scooping up some dirt. "Just gotta make sure those thing blow up before we get to 'em!" She packed the dirt into a ball, then casually tossed it in front of them. Another explosion was set off. "See?"

Alejandro, Ella, and Sammy just stared blankly.

/

"Okay," Shawn told his teammates as the scene cut back to Team Chris, "throw the rock and then run in the _opposite_ direction." He pointed to the rock he was holding, DJ and Sierra each holding a similar stone and looking somewhat wary. "Just try not to alert the undead, okay?"

DJ and Sierra nodded, and Shawn did as well. With a grunt he heaved his rock to the left, then dashed off to the right. The camera followed the rock as it flew threw the air, a laser quickly locking onto it and causing it to burst after a few seconds. But by then, as the shot soon showed, Shawn had gotten to the cover of another rock on the other side of the open space. "Go!" he hissed to his teammates.

With a scream, DJ hurled the rock and ran with closed eyes and flailing arms all the way across the field, the laser shooting off over his head to destroy the rock he'd sacrificed. Shawn quickly grabbed him and pulled him down behind his rock, then called out "Sierra!"

Sierra reared back to throw, but stopped when a sudden explosion went off nearby and Tyler went flying and screaming over the laser field in the distance. He hit the fence on the other side, got electrocuted by it, and fell to the down smoking. Team Chris watched as a small rock got tossed up into the air from the same direction Tyler had come, followed by Ezekiel hurrying across the field to his teammate.

"Yo, are you okay?" Ezekiel asked, the camera cutting in closer to Team Victory. Crackling with electricity, Tyler just groaned, so Ezekiel reached out to grab his hand and got shocked. The two boys groaned as one, but recovered enough for Ezekiel to pull Tyler to his feet.

"So what now?" the jock asked, patting away the few remaining wisps of smoke coming from his body. "I don't really wanna touch that fence again."

"I think we might have to, eh," Ezekiel said, looking up and down the fence. "At least, unless we can find like a ladder or a shovel or somethin'."

Tyler made a noise of discomfort, then hesitantly reached out to touch the fence again.

"Hey guys!" DJ called out, causing the boys of Team Victory to pause and look to the right. The viewpoint shifted to show DJ waving his arms at them from a good distance away while Shawn and Sierra walked through a hole in the fence behind him. "Just come down here, there's a way in!"

Tyler and Ezekiel grinned, high-fived, and ran off towards the other team.

/

"See, I told you this was easy!" Sugar said as she lead her team through the minefield in single file, stopping every now and then to pick up some dirt, pack it together, and throw it on the ground. Every so often she'd detonate a mine, and the team would cautiously advance a few steps – Sammy first, then Alejandro, then Ella in the rear.

"Hah, yeah," Sammy chuckled nervously, tensing up every time an explosion went off. "I kinda wish there was another way, though."

"It's probably for the better that there isn't," Alejandro told her as they took a few more steps forward. "We'd just go even slower."

"Well at least this way we aren't in danger," Ella said, looking at the ground around her while holding on to Alejandro's shoulder. Another mine went off, and she cringed. " _Much_ danger, anyway."

/

The music turned ominous as the scene cut to the end of the large rock formation nearest the plane. The camera zoomed in as Scarlett poked her head out from behind part of it, looked around, then smirked and started climbing. The footage skipped forward to her reaching the top, hauling herself up, then wiping the sweat from her brow. She scrambled forward a little ways and looked down at the base; on the right she spotted Team Chris and Team Victory dashing from shadow to shadow as they made their way to the largest warehouse; on the left she saw Team Universe cautiously entering another hole in the electric fence and look around.

She crawled forward a little more so that she was at the edge of the rock formation, then looked around again. A panning shot of the Area showed no trace of Teams Chris and Victory, and Team Universe disappeared into an alley in seconds.

Scarlett smirked evilly, then stood and dashed forwards. She jumped into the air and did a somersault, the moonlight glinting off her collar, then...landed with a painful and pathetic flop on the far side of the electric fence.

She got up on all fours and coughed. "Okay, not my best idea," she muttered to herself, "but at least I'm inside. Those insects won't know what hit them." The shot cut to her close-up as she narrowed her eyes and smirked evilly, a few deep notes playing in the music.

/

The scene cut to the Black Box warehouse, the door suddenly swinging open as a couple burly soldiers dressed in thick body armor ran out into the night, nightsticks in their hands. Once they'd left Alejandro looked out from behind the corner, smirked, then quickly put his foot in the way as the door swung shut. He pushed it open, and the camera showed the feet of him, Ella, Sammy, and Sugar running into the warehouse.

"Hey, looks like we're the first ones here!" Sugar said happily as the camera cut inside, showing her and her teammates standing in an aisle in front of huge stacks of crates and other things. In the foreground was a section divider labeled A-3. She let the door swing shut, but a muscular arm stopped it before it could close.

"Maybe, but not by much," DJ said with a smirk as he let Shawn and Sierra in, then stepped in himself.

"Yeah, you just got lucky, eh," Ezekiel added with a jovial look, barging past the door and causing it to knock into Tyler on the backswing.

"Oww...," the uber-jock said, rubbing his nose as he stepped deeper into the warehouse and allowed the door to slam shut behind him.

The tense music continued as the teams began to wander away from one another; Ezekiel leading Tyler off along the warehouse wall towards the camera, Team Universe continuing up the central aisle, and Team Chris milling around the longest. Once the other teams were gone, Shawn nervously motioned for a huddle.

"Look, I don't know how else to say this, but I think we should split up again," he told his teammates. "It worked pretty well for us in Paris, and I'm honestly _really_ freaked out about being in here so I'd be more comfortable going alone for the time being. Uhh, not that I _want_ you two to get eaten or anything," he added frantically at his teammate's odd looks, "but if you _do_ I'd rather not get dragged into saving you and risk being bitten myself. No offense meant just, y'know, a self preservation thing." He chuckled at them nervously as they shared an odd look.

"Uhh, I guess I understand," DJ told him with an uncertain frown. "Not really likin' the idea of wanderin' around by myself, though."

"I'm sure we'll be fine," Sierra told him as the three began to split up.

The music took an ominous turn again as the camera lingered in the area, slowly zooming in on the door. It cracked open silently, and Scarlett cautiously poked her head inside. She looked around, then stepped into the warehouse with a devious smile. She gingerly closed the door behind her so that it didn't make a sound.

The shot cut to a security camera, a flashing light on top of it and the lens zooming in indicating that it was recording.

"Huh," Chris said blankly as the warehouse scene faded red and Scarlett darted off into the shadows. The shot cut to the host's quarters in the plane, where Chris was watching the feed at his desk with a large bowl of popcorn in his lap; Chef Hatchet was standing around behind him. "Guess we know what happened to Scarlett," the host commented.

"Don'tcha think havin' an evil genius loose in Area 51 might be a bad thing?" Chef asked. "She could cause all kinds 'a _problems_!"

" _True_ ," Chris admitted, rubbing his chin as he thought before shrugging happily. "But, I'm sure the kids can handle her. And even if they _can't_ , the Black Ops soldiers will. For now, I'm sayin' we sit back and enjoy the show."

"Fine with me," Chef shrugged.

"Will our amateur alien hunters make it out of the _mysterious_ Black Box with their butts intact?" Chris asked the camera. "And, what does _Scarlett_ have up her sleeves?" he added as an ominous tune played. "Find out when we return, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

The camera zoomed back all the way outside the jet as he said the title, and a flying saucer returned to zap the plane again. "Aaaaggghhh! Stop it!" Chris yelled in annoyance from inside.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

"Welcome to the Black Box warehouse!" Chris announced over the PA as the episode resumed with a panning shot of the warehouse's interior. First Shawn, then Alejandro and Ella, and then Tyler and Ezekiel were shown looking up from around the stacks of crates as the host continued. "Finding a functioning alien artifact in here is gonna be a bit like finding a needle in a haystack. A haystack with a _Black Ops_ security system," he added as Scarlett was shown as well, looking through a crate at the top of some pile. "Which I set off when I hacked into this PA." The host's comment shocked Scarlett for a moment before her face settled into a knowing grin, and she hastily shoved the top crate of her stack to the floor. It broke into a pile of metal junk that scattered on the floor.

"My bad," Chris said unapologetically as a klaxon began to sound.

"And _my_ opportunity," Scarlett said softly to herself, already rooting through the top of a different pile of crates. Finding nothing she pushed it off; it landed on top of yet another crate, which burst open. A miniature flying saucer hovered out of the rubble and flew off, leaving Scarlett to grin and make her way into the shadows of the next stack of crates.

As she did, the camera pulled away to her into the shadow of another crate a good ways away where the short and slender form of Dawn was watching in secret. The moonchild's eyes narrowed, and the scene flashed away.

/

The beeping could still be heard as another pair of burly soldiers was shown running past through a gap between two crates. The camera pulled out to show Shawn doing the watching, and he nervously wiped his brow while backing away.

"Okay, you can do this," he told himself. "Just find something _not_ undead and get out." He was startled when a crate crashed down behind him, and the camera angled upwards just in time to catch the silhouette of Scarlett leaping away. Unaware of what had happened, Shawn cautiously approached the wreckage of the crate.

Dangerous music began to play as a couple pieces of wood slid off a rusty metal orb, which shuddered and rose up on three spindly legs. It shuttered and sparked towards the survivalist. "Ahh! Alien zombie!" he screamed before delivering a flying kick to the short tripod that broke it into pieces. He let out his breath, and the camera angled up again to show the silhouette of Dawn darting through the shadows in the direction Scarlett had gone.

/

The music became slightly calmer yet more eerie as the scene moved to Sammy, who was backing between the rows of junk all alone. Her eyes were darting around nervously, and she yelped when she suddenly bumped into something. So, in fact, did the person she'd bumped into.

"DJ?!" the cheerleader exclaimed as she turned around to see her boyfriend.

"Sammy?!" the gentle giant replied in shock.

The two breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey, you wanna stick together for this?" DJ asked, rubbing the back of his head. "I mean, I know we're on different teams and all, but still."

"Yeah, I'd like that," Sammy told him, and the two began to cautiously check the stack behind them. "This place is creepy, and I'm sure if we find _one_ alien artifact there'll be others with it."

"Like these?" DJ said confidently, prying open a crate and taking out two pyramid-shaped objects. Sammy smiled and reached for one, but the moment she touched one both exploded in a poof of smoke.

"Maybe not..." she said, both teens stunned and covered with soot.

/

"Woah, check _this_ out," Tyler said in amazement as he and Ezekiel approached a large ring-shaped device about twice their height; it had a few glowing chevrons set along its edges and a ramp leading up to it, but what was strangest was the glowing bluish goo that the center seemed to be comprised off.

"Wonder what it's made out of," Ezekiel thought aloud as he reached out and touched the goo; the music immediately became tense as his hand got sucked in. "Woah no!" he cried as his whole body started get sucked in with a slurping sound, leading Tyler to quickly grab him around the waist and pull.

/

The music's intensity dropped off once again as the scene flashed to Sierra and Sugar rounding a corner at the same time from opposite directions. They stopped, startled, upon seeing one another, then their eyes narrowed into glares. " _You_!" they each said accusingly.

" _Me_?" Sugar answered, taking offense and scowling. "What's that s'posed to mean? You're the one who played that mean trick on me back in New York, and here I've been a victim this whole season!"

Sierra snorted in contempt. "As if," she countered. "I can see right through your crocodile tears and your playing dumb."

Sugar just gave her a confused look before scowling again. "I ain't got a clue as to what yer yappin' about," she said. "And don't you _dare_ call me a crocodile, I got _way_ better skin that that!"

"It was _just_ an _expression_ ," Sierra snipped. "And I know that you're craftier than you want us to think, okay, I've done _research_."

"I don't care _what_ you did," Sugar countered, "I still don't know what you're talkin' about!"

The two girls glared at one another.

/

"Yes! Perfect!" Scarlett exclaimed in excitement as she dropped to the ground next to a wall, then darted over to what looked like a control terminal of some kind. She began to type rapidly, characters of all sorts filling the computer screen she was looking at, until something dinged. "I'm in!" she proclaimed before resuming her typing. "And now to just...YES!" She slammed a finger down on the enter key, and a hatch opened up in the wall. A strangely-shaped clamp extended out of it, and with a grin Scarlett allowed it to latch on to her collar. The edge of the clamp that was touching the collar began to glow a sickly green, and the collar itself began to lightly hum.

"And while I wait...," Scarlett said to herself while eagerly typing something else, "how about some... _entertainment_."

/

A wide shot of the warehouse interior was shown again, the ring of the alarm and footsteps of soldiers joined first by several strange crashes, growls, and bleeps, and then by the click of the PA system turning on.

"Attention, _worms_ ," Scarlett's voice began, shocking several of the others – DJ and Sammy as they crept through the rows; Tyler and Ezekiel, both covered in a bit of bluish goop as they struggled to carry the large and still active ring-like device through the warehouse; and Dawn as she leaned hidden in the shadow of a massive ornate cube. "This is Scarlett speaking, whom you may recognize as the _genius_ that was recently ejected from the game. As those of you with appreciable intelligence may have realized, I have hacked into the warehouse's systems and taken control. I have already rendered my _accursed_ restraining collar non-functional, and in moments it will be removed entirely. And, of course, _none_ of you will make it out of here alive."

She paused for a moment, and Alejandro and Ella were shown gaping in shock.

"And because I'm in a peculiar mood tonight," Scarlett added gleefully, "and you're all participating in a _musical_ , I thought I'd send you off with a little _song_ of my own devising."

~/~

[A light, eerie, and deceptively up-tempo piano tune began to play as the scene cut back to Scarlett, typing to the beat with a PA microphone sticking out of the wall in front of her, the strange clamp still latched onto her collar and humming.]

" _Try to recall when I said I'd get revenge, why didn't you listen to that_?"

[She began to sing a few seconds into the song, her tone light and mocking. Shawn was shown listening warily, as were Sierra and Sugar, and even a couple of Black Ops soldiers.]

" _You all could have stopped this, instead you just dropped this, so now you'll be killed off like rats_!"

[Scarlett put extra relish in her voice as she said 'rats', and one of the soldiers motioned to the other and both charged off. The camera pulled back to show DJ and Sammy nodding to one another then nervously creeping after them, then cut to a variety of shaking crates and opening doors.]

" _It's what you deserve after having the nerve to abandon me_!"

[Scarlett was shown calmly singing and typing once again, the scene pulling out and reddening as the view switched to Chris and Chef anxiously watching the camera feed in the host's quarters.]

" _Maybe we shoulda just freed her, she woulda just let us be_?"

[Chris, surprisingly, took the next line; singing his question to Chef and receiving a helpless shrug in return, both men jolting in shock when Scarlett's face suddenly appeared directly on the screen they were watching.]

" _It's much too late for that noooow, so_!"

[Scarlett answered without missing a beat, the camera quickly moving back to Shawn as he nervously backed down an aisle. The music suddenly became much deeper and much more intense, and...]

" _Try to run! Try to flee! Try to escape_!"

[A crate to Shawn's right burst open to reveal some horrible humanoid robot, then some hideous alien monstrosity vaguely reminiscent of Chef's Mama Alien costume from season two dropped down on Shawn's right. They made a grab for the survivalist, but he silently yelped and darted away.]

" _But you won't! I won't let! You void your fates_!"

[Ella was shown shrieking and jumping into Alejandro's arms, the two cornered by a pack of small floating aliens with bug eyes and leaf-shaped structures on their backs. The two Black Ops soldiers were shown charging bravely forward, only for a large tube to drop out of the ceiling and suck them up.]

" _Because now! Here I am! Plan's taking shape_!"

[DJ and Sammy were shown running to the right in a flailing panic, ducking through the legs of a larger tripod and knocking over a pair of robots that were much blockier than what had attacked Shawn.]

" _And you'll never be able to beat what awaits_!"

[Ezekiel and Tyler were shown still hurriedly trying to carry their ring-shaped device; a massive gun-like device rose out of the floor behind them and fire a laser at them, but the boys quickly managed to angle their ring so that the laser passed harmlessly into the bluish goop at it's center, to no noticeable effect.]

" _So... Try to find! Where you'll be! Safe from my wrath_!"

[Shawn was shown again, looking determined as he suddenly skidded to a halt, turned around, and tackled the alien monstrosity that had been chasing him. He quickly rolled off of it, jumped out of the way of the robot firing some sort of yellow beam that disintegrated the alien, then ducked when a small UFO shot out at him from between two boxes.

" _Not like there's! Anywhere! For you to hide_!"

[An insectoid alien pounced on him from across the aisle, but he knocked it away with a headbutt and it crashed against the robot into goo and chitin. The robot leveled it's disintegration ray at him, but Shawn quickly grabbed the leg of a tripod that had just stepped down next to him and swung the whole thing at the other robot, taking both out.]

" _I control! Ev-er-y! Last single path_!"

[The action moved to Sugar and Sierra, who were glaring at one another even as they ran side-by-side away from a small mixed pack of various alien beasts. Sugar suddenly tripped Sierra, but Sierra retaliated by grabbing Sugar's leg the moment she hit the ground, dragging the pageant queen down as well. The impact of the girls falling shook the imbalanced stack of junk next to them, and a glowing cube fell into Sierra's arms.]

" _And you'll never be able to get back outside_!"

[Dawn was shown once more, silently running along the tops of crates; every so often she'd dodge out of sight of something flying past, never quite getting caught. She halted suddenly at the edge of one, and immediately narrowed her eyes angrily. The viewpoint shifted behind her and the camera angled down, revealing a 'clearing' between the junk next to a wall where Scarlett was standing and typing and singing, the sickly green glow of the odd clamp visible even from Dawn's vantage point.]

" _So just try, fools, try to survive_!"

[The view switched to Scarlett as she ended her song, rearing back slightly to utter a long and victorious and evil laugh. The camera panned up and out as her laughing seemed to echo through a shot of the entire warehouse, aliens and lasers flying around and a variety of tall robots stalking the aisles.]

~/~

It all rapidly zoomed back in to a halt as Scarlett was given a flying kick to the back by Dawn, and slammed face-first into the wall console she'd hacked into.

"Uggh, what _now_ ," Scarlett groaned as she straightened herself out and rubbed her nose in pain, her collar no longer humming and the clamp, though still attached, no longer glowing green along its edge. The microphone she'd been singing into was still sticking out of the wall however.

"I...have come to stop you!" Dawn declared, seemingly struggling to keep her nerve now that the confrontation had begun.

Scarlett's brow shot up in surprise, but her face quickly lowered into a devious smirk. "Dawn," she stated as she turned around to face her attacker. "So glad to see you again! It's a pity you won't be able to see your _friends_ again before they're killed by whatever horrors I unlocked from their cages."

It was Dawn's turn to look surprised. "DJ and Sammy are here?"

Scarlett shrugged with a mockery of helplessness. "Surprisingly, they were able to make it this far in the competition. Of course, even if they _do_ survive I don't think they'd want to meet with you. You did _abandon_ them, after all, and in a much crueler fashion than my so-called teammates abandoned _me_."

Dawn gasped in shock and confusion. "But...how? I left them a letter explaining everything, I thought they'd understand?"

Now Scarlett looked confused. "Letter? As far as I know, nothing like _that_ was ever found." She snorted disdainfully. "Not like it matters, you won't get the chance to clear things up with them regardless."

Dawn's lip quavered for a moment before settling into something approaching determination. "Oh I will," she told the evil genius, "the Universe has guided me here to stop you, and stop you I shall!"

Scarlett laughed. "How? I'll admit I have no physical prowess, but you're just as bad, if not worse! Not to mention the fact that I have complete control over most of this warehouse."

She took a step backwards, but Dawn quickly darted forward and tackled Scarlett around the waist, pushing her back into the wall again. Scarlett gnashed her teeth in aggravation as she struggled to push the smaller girl off of her, but quickly stopped and smirked again.

"While this may have pinned me in place long enough to prove troublesome a few minutes ago," she told the moonchild while grabbing hold of her bulky metal collar, "I'm afraid you're simply too _late_." In one swift motion Scarlett pulled the collar off her neck, the break forming where it had been clamped, and slammed the device down hard on Dawn's back.

She fell to the ground with a pained cry.

/

A flash took the scene back to Sugar and Sierra, both of whom were breathing heavily and covered in goo as they looked up in confusion. Sierra was holding the glowing cube under her arm, and while her attention was turned upwards Sugar poked at the back with an alien insect leg that had been stuck to her blouse. It immediately began to leak a purple fluid.

"Hey, is it me or did we just hear Scarlett and Dawn fightin'?" Sugar jovially asked the girl next to her.

"I heard it too," Sierra scowled, "but don't act like we're suddenly _friends_. Just because we helped each other out back there doesn't mean I'm gonna let you off the hook for what you've been doing all season."

"Why're you so keen on bullying poor ol' me?" Sugar asked, waving the alien insect leg around as she talked. "I didn't do nothin'!" She absentmindedly took a bite of the alien leg and smiled. "Hey, this thing's pretty good!" she said, eagerly taking another bite of the leg.

Sierra sniffed in disdain. "Deny it all you want, but your victim act doesn't fool me. Now if you'll excuse me," she patted the glowing-but-leaky cube under her arm, "I have to return the _artifact_ I found."

Sugar scowled at her as Sierra left with her nose in the air, then smiled. A few ominous notes were struck as the camera zoomed in on the small trail of purple liquid forming behind Sierra, then the scene flashed away.

/

Ezekiel cautiously poked his head up from behind a crate, then ducked down. The shot followed him, revealing Tyler crouched next to him with the ring-like device lying on the floor.

"I think the coast is clear, eh," Ezekiel whispered. "Let's get movin'."

"Let's do this," Tyler said confidently, and the camera cut back to the other side of the crate as the two boys came out from behind it at a run, carrying the ring-like device once again. The shot panned to follow as they went left and out an open door.

/

"That went surprisingly well, all things considered," Alejandro said as the scene moved to him as he gave Ella a hand up from her kneeling position. Both looked rather disheveled, and were splattered with green goo.

"Well I disagree," Ella frowned. "You were _far_ too violent to those poor aliens. I'll admit they frightened me at first, but once I got used to them it was obvious they wanted to make friends. They stuck their fingers out and everything!"

"Yes, and then they latched onto our faces and _shocked us_ ," Alejandro replied. "We were lucky they were so frail!"

"I'm sure it was all just a... _cultural misunderstanding_ ," Ella said after a bit of thought. "If we'd just given them some time, I'm _sure_ they would've let go of us."

"Sorry, but that's not a risk I was willing to take, especially with _Scarlett_ lurking around," Alejandro said as he rooted around a pile of junk. He pulled out what appeared to be a small, ornate screwdriver; he twisted the handle curiously, then dropped it in shock when a laser shot out of the tip.

After watching the laser singe the surface of a crate, Alejandro wisely picked it back up and untwisted the handle, shutting it off. "Looks like we've found our artifact," he told Ella with a confident grin.

"Hmm, well, let's get back to the others, then," Ella said in muted annoyance before walking off. Alejandro raised an eyebrow at her as he followed.

/

"What to do _now_...," Scarlett muttered to herself as the scene flashed back to the evil genius standing over the collapsed and groaning form of Dawn. "I _suppose_ I should bind you in some fashion and leave you to the aliens, but how?" With a finger on her lip she stepped away from Dawn and began looking around at the various crates and piles of junk that were enclosing her part of the warehouse. "Honestly, this is embarrassing," Scarlett told herself, "what kind of evil genius am I if I'm not prepared to deal with a _captive_?"

She paused in sudden realization, then palmed her face. "Of course! Why didn't I think of this sooner?" she said with a smirk before heading back to the wall console. Dawn started groaning and moving to get up, leading Scarlett to frown and kick her back down, then move to typing.

She'd only pressed a few keys before she was interrupted again.

"Stop right there!" the voice was loud and direct and had a veil of false confidence, and above all else it was irritatingly familiar to Scarlett.

"Excellent, _just_ what I wanted," the evil genius told herself, her tone heavy with sarcasm as she turned around to face her latest annoyance. "Hello, Sammy, come to beg for mercy, or just to see your little _friend_ one more time before you both die?"

Sammy's eyes fearfully darted towards the prone form of her friend, but quickly moved back to Scarlett. "Neither," she said, her voice trembling slightly. "I mean, I'm not just gonna _ignore_ Dawn or anything," she began to babble, "I actually really wanna _help_ her, so, y'know, I'm totally _not_ gonna beg for mercy or anything, and-"

"Just spit it out already!" Scarlett snapped, reaching behind her back to type a few more keys. "I'd rather get this over with."

"Oh, uh, that's _good_ ," Sammy admitted nervously, "because it's probably gonna be over pretty _soon_.."

Scarlett raised an eyebrow in confusion, then looked to her left where her current adversary's gaze had drifted. She was shocked to see one of the crates shudder, then get lifted up by a pair of strong black arms. The camera cut to a better view, showing DJ holding the massive crate in his arms and taking a breath to steel himself.

He let out a cry that didn't sound the least bit courageous then charged.

"Oh crap," Scarlett muttered, frantically turning around and typing some more.

A close-up showed her index finger slamming down on the 'enter' key just before DJ rammed into her with the crate. She was knocked back several feet and slammed to the ground with a grunt, and DJ paused. He shifted the crate and looked down, seeing Dawn on the ground below him.

"Nnnn...d...DJ...?" she groaned, looking up weakly and seeing her friend.

The gentle giant smiled at her. "Yeah," he said. "Don't worry, we're here to help."

It was then that a wall panel slid open, revealing a siren which promptly began wailing.

"You're too _late_ ," Scarlett spat with glee as she recovered from the blow. "I've just alerted everything in the warehouse to descend on this position. And some of the _worst_ things have barely even woken up!"

DJ frowned at her, then walked over with the crate in his arms. "Well then, I guess you're just gonna have to deal with it _too_." Scarlett's eyes went wide and she tried to scramble out of the way, but was unable to before the crate was gently placed on top of her, pinning her to the ground.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Scarlett asked in a panic as the gentle giant walked over to regroup with Dawn, and now Sammy as well. "You, uh, you can't expect to stop this all yourselves! You aren't _nearly_ intelligent-"

"Can you, like, stop talking now?" Sammy asked in annoyance as she and DJ helped Dawn to her feet. "We're not gonna let you just _go_ again."

"Yeah," DJ chimed in, picking up a woozy Dawn onto his back. "Besides, we don't care _what_ you called over here, we're leavin'."

"To where?" Scarlett called out is disbelief. "By now everyone else should be _dead_!"

DJ and Sammy shared a hesitant look, then looked at their third as Dawn began to laugh. "Oh Scarlett, don't you realize?" she said, lifting her head and giving a far-off look at the crates that surrounded them. "Everyone is still alive!" Scarlett froze in shock. "Most of them aren't even _hurt_! Nearly everything you released has been destroyed or deactivated, and the soldiers are most certainly rallying themselves to contain what's left. Thanks to us, you've been beaten before you really got started."

"No..." Scarlett said to herself, a look of sheer horror on her face. DJ, Sammy, and Dawn turned and left through the gap DJ had made, and Scarlett cried out "NOOOO!", nearly drowning out the siren.

Moments later a swarm of Black Ops soldiers arrived, weapons pointed at the pinned teenager.

/

The scene flashed ahead to a head-on shot the trio fleeing through the warehouse stacks, the siren still audible in the background.

"Friends," Dawn said, still clutching to DJ's back, "I...I don't know what to say!"

"Save it," Sammy told her. "We can't let those guards get us too!"

"That stuff you said about everyone bein' alive was true, right?" DJ asked.

"Yes," Dawn said, "I-"

"Do you know where they are now?" DJ quickly followed up.

Dawn hesitated for a second, then pointed ahead and to their right. "Shawn is-"

"Right here!" the survivalist announced, jumping over a crate and running alongside them. His clothes were a little bit torn and covered in various colors of goo, but he was in one piece. "And totally fine! You guys okay too?" He looked at them, then did a double-take when he noticed Dawn. "So that _was_ you I heard over the loudspeaker!"

"Oh-" Dawn began faintly before Sammy interrupted her.

"Yeah, that's how me and DJ knew she was in trouble," she explained. "We were following the guards on a hunch anyways, and managed to get close enough to find her and Scarlett."

Shawn looked at the three blankly, then turned ahead. "Not gonna ask for details," he said before pointing further to their right. "But the exit is _that_ way!"

/

"There you are!" Alejandro said as he and Ella came across Sugar, all three running towards the left side of the screen.

"Any sign of Sammy?" Ella asked.

"No," Sugar huffed, "just a buncha wrecked aliens. Not even any artifacts!"

"Doesn't matter," Alejandro told her, holding up the extraterrestrial screwdriver he'd found. "Let's just focus on getting out of here!" The girls nodded, and the three sped up.

/

"Now where was the exit..." Sierra pondered aloud, rubbing her chin as she paced along a row of junk. The alien cube she was carrying was no longer glowing, though she didn't seem to have noticed. "Maybe..."

"Sierra!" the shout of a teammate got her attention, and she looked back to see Shawn, DJ, Dawn, and Sammy approaching her. "Hi guys!" she waved excitedly. "Look what I got!" She raised her cube up in one hand and pointed it, then paused and grinned indecently as she noticed Dawn. "Though it's not as good as what _DJ_ found, hehe..."

Dawn blushed at the comment.

"No time to explain," DJ said with a blush of his own as the five merged into one running group. "Let's move!"

/

The scene flashed to the open exit, the camera panning to the right to show Team Chris plus Sammy and Dawn running towards it.

"There you are!" the voice of Alejandro called, gaining Sammy's attention as he, Ella, and Sugar ran up alongside the other group. "I was getting worried, and...," he noticed Dawn on DJ;s back and smiled, "I see you've finally found Dawn!"

"Yeah, it's a long story," Sammy told the charmer, "I'll tell you later."

"Good call," Alejandro replied with a competitive grin. "We have a _challenge_ to win!" His look quickly spread to most of the others, and they reached the open door.

/

Another skip ahead took the scene to the minefield as the two teams raced towards Area 52. Team Chris got ahead, then Team Universe, then Team Chris again, and so on as the music ramped up in intensity.

The shot moved to Chris waiting at the boundary between the areas. His hands were behind his back and a frown was on his face, but it morphed into a bland smile as the music turned into something more triumphant as the three members of Team Chris, plus Dawn on DJ's back, crossed the finish line first.

"We did it!" Sierra cheered. "We beat them!"

"Not so fast," Chris said in an impish tone as he walked over and tapped the side of Sierra' cube. "Looks like _this_ alien artifact is _broken_."

"Oops," Sierra said sheepishly as DJ and Shawn began to groan and complain, and moments later the four members of Team Universe slid in with nervous hope on their faces.

"And Team Universe, where is _your_ artifact?" Chris asked them as he walked over.

"Right here," Alejandro said, holding out his laser-screwdriver. The host picked it up, looked it over, and twisted the handle, smiling as a laser shot up into the air.

"This checks out," he told them. "Congrats on beating Team Me."

"Yes!" Alejandro cheered along with his teammates. "We won the challenge!"

"Uh-uh-uh," Chris tutted impishly, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. "Team _Victory_ won the challenge, they got here five minutes ago."

The camera quick-panned to Tyler and Ezekiel leaning against their giant ring and grinning at the competition.

" _You guys_ just managed to avoid elimination," Chris said as the camera cut back to him and the other teams. "Team Chris is Really Really _Really_ Mean, your butts are voting another member out tonight."

"Aww..." DJ, Shawn, and Sierra said as one.

"Umm...," Dawn said as she slid off DJ's back, "perhaps I should be _going_ now..."

"You're not going anywhere," Chris said sternly. "You're in _big_ trouble for skipping out on a good chunk of the competition, so get your butt back to Team Universe where you belong."

"Oh, y-yes," Dawn stammered nervously before rejoining Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, and Sugar.

"Welcome back," Alejandro told her with a dark grin before Sammy scowled at him, then stepped forward to give her friend a hug.

"I'm so glad you're back," she said.

"I'm glad to _be_ back," Dawn answered quietly. The camera cut to their teammates; Ella was looking excited, Sugar annoyed, and Alejandro still had that scheming grin.

/

The standard elimination music began as the scene cut first to the plane flying once more against the night sky, and then to the elimination chamber where the three members of Team Chris sat sadly.

"Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean," the host opened, "not a lotta teamwork going on tonight. I guess splitting up to find artifacts really didn't work out for you, huh? DJ," the brickhouse perked up, "spending time with the enemy? Not good form."

"I was savin' Dawn, okay?" DJ retorted angrily.

"Shawn," Chris turned his attention to the other boy, "you didn't seem too concerned with keeping all those alien _intact_."

"That's because they were trying to _kill me_ ," Shawn told the host, also angry.

"And _Sierra_ ," he turned to the lone girl in the room. "You wasted your team's time by bringing back something useless. Well done!"

"I...I swear it worked when I found it!" Sierra explained, beginning to panic. "It must have been sabotaged by _Sugar_ after we fought off aliens together!"

DJ and Shawn shared a look of disbelief. "Why would Sugar do that?" DJ asked.

"Yeah," Shawn added. "She's done nothing but apologize for what Scott made her do, I don't think she'd start trying to sabotage us _again_."

"But-" Sierra began to say.

"No buts," Chris interrupted, "and no excuses. You're _out_ , Sierra."

"Ohh..." Sierra said, hanging her head in disappointment as she stood up. To her mild surprise, DJ and Shawn stood up as well.

"For what it's worth," DJ told her kindly, "I _am_ sorry it had to go down like this. It seems like every elimination we've had is because somebody screwed up one little time."

"Agreed," Shawn added. "We're voting you out because we _have_ to, not because we _want_ to."

Sierra sniffed, and the sombre departure theme began to play. "Thanks...," she told them before turning and walking towards the door, grabbing a parachute pack from Chris on the way. She paused at the open door, then took a breath and asked "Can I do one last thing before I go?"

"Make it quick," he host glared.

Sierra grinned mischievously, then whipped out a camera and started taking pictures. "Smile for the fans!" she giggled, the steady stream of flashes stunning Chris, Shawn, and DJ.

"Just _go_ already!" the host yelled, putting one arm over his eyes and pushing Sierra out the open door with the other. She fell away with a scream that was soon followed by the sound of a camera clicking, and the scene moved back to the host.

"How will our _second_ pair of boys fare now that Team Universe is back to being five strong?" he asked the camera as the series' capstone theme began to play. "Find out next time on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

Sierra opened the clip with a sigh. "You know, I _really_ thought I was gonna at least make the merge this time," she told the camera. "I hope I'm not, like, _bad_ at this or something. Maybe I'm just unlucky? Or, or _maybe_ I just don't know the others as well as I thought?"

She paused, then burst out laughing. "Hahaha, I crack me up," she said with a jovial handwave. "Seriously, it's probably just luck. Well, that and coming on too strong with Sugar, she probably wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't confronted her."

"Oh well," she shrugged, "to the Aftermath!" she raised her hand in dramatic declaration, then nearly fumbled her camera. "Phew," she said in relief, just as a UFO flew up alongside her. "Uhhh...I don't suppose you're a fan of _Total Drama_ , are you?" she asked hesitantly.

The UFO paused, then made a series of boops and bleeps before ducking down and catching Sierra on its back.

"Wow, Chris was right," Sierra said in amazement as her parachute dropped down behind her, "it really _is_ good to have friends in Area 51 places...I think...," she said the last two words with a nervous frown, then screamed as the UFO sped off with her.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Lots to say for this episode...for starters, I'd like to be clear that this episode is the main reason why Scarlett was in this season to begin with. I really liked the idea of having Scarlett running amok in Area 51, and that it would be Dawn, DJ, and Sammy who eventually stopped her. Originally, this episode was going to be Scarlett's actual boot episode, as well as take place in the canon order of thing (aka as the fifteenth episode), but I ended up changing it for a variety of reasons.

First, Team Universe was sorely in need of a proper boot. Had Jamaica not been so important to the overall pace of the series, this episode would have definitely been turned into the season quarter finale. But that wasn't possible, so I decided to just move it up a couple spots in the episode order instead, making it the third quarter opener. And then after that, I decided to move Scarlett's actual elimination to Jamaica and have her hide out for a little bit before secretly making her move.

Honestly, I like how things turned out. Scarlett had a nice but short tenure as a lurking threat, and Dawn managed to stay away for a good amount of time before returning to the show to fulfill her vision in a way she didn't expect.

I'll leave Scarlett's ultimate fate semi-ambiguous for now; all I'll say is that she didn't get her memory wiped and sent off to an alien colony or anything.

Originally, as some of you may have guessed already, Sierra was going to be eliminated in Jamaica instead of Scarlett. Switching them ended up making more sense, giving Team Chris a more concrete (if unfortunate) reason to boot Sierra that also serves to further Sugar's villain cred. I do have some regrets over never really doing much with Sierra over these three seasons, and I can see why some would see it as a waste of her character, but I'll accept it as a flaw in my plan. I never really came up with a long-reaching role for her to play, so I settled with giving her other small, yet still important roles. Perhaps it wasn't the best use of her, but I'm still happy with how things turned out.

The song this week is entitled "Try", just to keep things simple. It was heavily inspired by the song "Slipping" from Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog, though different enough in both tune and tone to make it not just a copy. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Oh, and the episode title? Well, without a large focus on Duncan and Courtney's break-up (or rather, an analogue to it) calling it 'The EX-Files' just didn't work. I quite like the title I came up with, it's a suitable pun for the events of the episode.

Let me know what you thought, and I'll see you all next week!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (14th Place)

Geoff - (13th Place)

Scott - (12th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (11th Place)

Sierra - (10th Place)


	14. Chapter 14 - Picnic at Hanging Dork

**Author's Note**

Welcome back! I hope you've all been looking forward to this week's chapter. I'm pretty excited to present it, and am also excited because for the first time in awhile I actually managed to finish next week's chapter before a Saturday! I say this a lot, but I'm really happy with how next week's chapter turned out.

But that, of course, will have to wait another week. Right now, there's a veritable horde of reviews that need answering.

 **Animation Adventures:** Oho, yes, I don't think anybody was expecting Area 51 last week. I'm glad you liked what happened last week, it was fun tying together so much of what happened in the first half of the season. You're spot-on about the dream, although Dawn wasn't aware that Scarlett was the great evil she had to stop until she actually got to Area 51. I did consider putting Dawn on Team Chris, but since she unofficially left the game after being assigned to a team, unlike Duncan, that Chris would put her back where she was. And like I said last week, I'm a little bummed that I never really did much with Sierra either, but, well...sometimes these things just have to happen. I still think she had a good run, and that her absence won't really hurt the season overall. And as for Scarlett's song...I'm really happy you liked it! Like you said, it was meant to be an ominous and villainous song that really showcased how far Scarlett has sunk.

 **Amazinglol:** Hah, yeah, but these things have to happen sometimes, I think.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Wow, thanks for the compliment! I'm glad I was able to surprise people on so many fronts, between the returns of Scarlett and Dawn to the elimination of Sierra. Sorry I had to eliminate her, but it's just what I felt was the best choice.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** The new penname is certainly interesting. Other than that, not much to say besides thanks for the review!

 **DSX62415:** Well, I do like to keep my readers on their toes. I will say that there's not many more out-of-order episode left, however. Regarding Dawn's love life...well, you'll have to read on to find out. And as for your upload...well admittedly, I'm not really a Gundam fan, so I don't think I'll check it out. Sorry.

 **atom king:** Hah, glad you liked Scarlett's attempted revenge last week. As for making the London episode a little more like Scooby Doo...sorry, but I'll pass. As for the crossover idea...ehh, I can see it working, but I'm just not really feeling it right now.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Thanks for not spoiling who was eliminated, even if you were the only one. I don't really mind it either way, to be honest. And yeah, I suppose Sierra could've made a good hero for this season, but ultimately I never even considered it. In my early planning of this season I actually wasn't certain what I was gonna do with this quarter; the other three were obvious - Lightning's Downfall and Dawn's Quit; the Downfall of Scott and Scarlett and the Rise of Sugar; and the last quarter of course is set-up for the finale. But now I've gotten a really, really great idea of what I want to do with these five chapters, and I gotta say it's really panning out well so far.

 **Ddynamo:** More-or-less, yeah, hah. And since I've finished re-watching Revenge of the Island and have pretty much decided on all the cameos, I can say for sure that Scarlett won't be taking Heather's place. Though that's not to say Scarlett won't get a cameo... That aside, interesting to hear boot predictions, as always.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Scarlett getting jailed is certainly a possibility, though I doubt it's the last we'll see of her. Thanks for the review!

 **Glowing Insanity:** Haha, I'm glad people are starting to realize why I brought Scarlett back for the season. Without her, this episode...I honestly don't know what would be going on. I'm not sure Dawn would have left in the first place, so that subplot wouldn't be around to resolve, so I'd either have to come up with some other source of drama (probably from keeping it in its canon place in the episode order) or just let it be a blander version of canon events.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Yeah, pretty much. Sierra had her place in the plot, but ultimately that place was to be fodder. I think she had a good run, though. And I'm glad so many people enjoyed the showdown between Scarlett and Dawn! It was a big event, so I'm glad it went smoothly. And don't worry about trying to predict the episode order, things are gonna get pretty easy after this week's episode.

 **VIPGuest:** Fair enough, although I don't think a good villain can only be used once. And with Scarlett as she is now, she pretty much has to go out with a bang. And I'm sorry you're not feeling my portrayal of Dawn; I know she was gone a few weeks but I still think I've done a good job with sticking to her character. Oh well. And by the way, last week's title is a pun on the phrase 'All's well that ends well'.

 **Guest:** I'll be going with the cast that I personally think is best, based on how this season and Revenge of the Island turn out.

 **I. M. Poik:** Hah, glad you liked that scene. And yeah, you and some others all predicted Dawn's return last week, though not in the correct location. Giving Team Victory the win last week was an easy choice; they were both the obvious underdogs and the team receiving the least focus. As for what happens next...well, you'll just have to read on and find out.

 **skyline 10:** Ahh, sorry, but no. The only one of those I'm at all familiar with is Scooby Doo, and even then the London episode, as I've written it, isn't that sort of mystery.

 **Knifez:** Oh god dammit, I can't believe I made that mistake...oh well, I don't really feel like changing the title right now. I'll live with the error. I'm really happy you, and so many others, enjoyed what I did with Scarlett's plotline; I knew including her in the season would be the right choice in the end. And yeah, having to eliminate Sierra before the merge is a bummer for me too, but that's just how my plots plotted themselves out. The heroic trio of DJ, Dawn, Sammy is, as you say, reaching the end of their series-arching plot, but that's all I'm going to reveal right now. You'll just have to read on and find out what twists and turns this season goes through next...

 **ferguson97:** Thanks! Although as Knifez pointed out, my new title doesn't work that well since Roswell and Area 51 are in different states. Glad to know my writing for DJ/Sammy/Dawn is still good even if you find them a bit stale. Sorry I didn't let Sierra go any further; it's just how I ended up writing the story and I think a lot of other things will make up for it. Interesting predictions, as always, and I look forward to seeing if/how they change in the coming weeks.

 **FOWLKON:** Fair enough, but I'm glad it worked out. The Scarlett vs Dawn/Sammy/DJ battle was something I was really excited about writing, and I'm glad it's gone over so well with the fans. As for what location is next, I'm afraid it's neither London nor Greece this week...but you'll find out soon enough, if you haven't noticed the title already.

 **OMAC001:** Yeah, pretty much! And I hope you enjoy what's to come.

 **Star Saber21:** Glad you liked the second Aftermath! The B gag was a spur of the moment thing I thought was funny, and I'm glad I wasn't the only one. To be honest I'd completely forgotten about B's umbrella from the superhero challenge back in season two; I really have no idea what became of it. Scott's comeuppance this season was a long time in the making; he'll have to go through a lot of pain before he'll be able to come out on top. And as for last week's chapter, I'm happy you liked Scarlett's attempted revenge and how it was shutdown by Dawn's return. You're certainly right in that after being on the show so long, most of the kids can handle themselves.

 **aloasa:** Haha, I'm glad you liked Scarlett's last stand so much. And now Dawn is back so her relationship with Sammy and DJ can be revisited; Sugar's been further cemented as the top villain (though she does still have Alejandro and Dawn to worry about); and this week...is neither London _or_ Greece. Hope you don't mind!

 **bruno14:** Thanks, I'm glad you were able to follow along with the song. Like you said, even though Sierra is gone we'll at least get to see her again on the Aftermaths. Thanks for the review!

 **insertnamehere21:** Huh, didn't know that. Glad you liked the second Aftermath, though, and Borys and Staci really are related.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Wow, I really wasn't expecting you to have caught up! Watching you make your way through the season in such a short time has been quite a ride. I'm glad you've mostly liked how things have turned out, aside from disappointment over Scott leaving and not really liking Alejandro and Ella's subplot. I'll skim over most of what you said about earlier chapters, aside from that the boot predictions you gave after episode 12 are interesting as always, and that Scarlett's attack last week was definitely meant to be less grave than in season two. For one, it wasn't the finale and there were hints like with Dawn about how things would turn out; and of course there was the song I gave her. I'm not surprised it it didn't quite groove with the song I based it on as well as the song from Paris, though, since I deliberately tried to make it a bit different. 'Try' has its own melody and such, similar to but distinct from 'Slipping'.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Glad you understand about Scarlett! And yeah, Team Universe has been a pretty clear parallel to Team Amazon from the start, for better or for worse. I'm not as happy about it now as I was when the season was first being planned, but it's one of the consequences of having Scarlett in the game - I knew she had to be the first boot from her team, but that it wasn't going to be for some time, which naturally threw the eliminations out of balance. It's also why I gave Team Universe so many reward challenge losses early on to try and make up for their lack of eliminations. Regarding the canon love triangle, I suppose right now I like Gwen/Duncan more than Duncan/Courtney, though the latter had it's place and the former was handled horribly. I also like Courtney/Gwen, which could have worked in All-Stars had All-Stars not been...you know, All-Stars. Ultimately, though, I'm not sure any of the three relationships are built to last.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Glad you liked it! Area 51 was just such an obvious location to bring Scarlett to even early on in the Shuffled series, and I'm glad I was able to make it work so well. And yeah, having Max in Area 51 would've been amusingly dangerous in its own right. As for the two love triangles present in the season, as well as our Big Bad Sugar...well, you'll just have to read on and find out what happens to them next.

 **wifishark:** Thanks, it always makes me happy when I hear that an episode tops a good chunk of the others. And Team Universe does certainly look unstoppable right now, but things can always change. This is the Shuffledverse, after all...

And with that, the reviews for the week have been accounted for. As usual, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far!

As always, here's a reminder of the remaining contestants:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Tyler

Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean \- Shawn, DJ

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, Dawn

Once more, this week's episode is a little bit out of order. I hope you're ready, because this week is Australia. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 14 – Picnic at Hanging Dork**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" the host opened as the recap began with a panning shot of the mysteriously ominous military base. "Area 51, plucked from space to zap your face!" Chris said in a dramatic tone as Tyler was zapped by the lasers just inside the border of the area.

"Here, the cast got into a bit of a bad situation," he continued over various shots of the contestants inside the Black Box warehouse getting attacked by aliens, robots, and laser cannons, "courtesy of rogue ex-contestant Scarlett. _Again_." Scarlett was shown making her way through the shadows of the warehouse, then typing on the wall console, then laughing evilly at the end of her song. " _Man_ she needs to chill!"

"Luckily, the show was saved by the timely arrival of someone _else_ who'd left the plane, _Dawn_." A few highlights of the Moonchild's 'battle' with Scarlett was shown, including DJ and Sammy arriving to help her. "Who was then saved _herself_ by the timely arrival of her friends." Scarlett was shown being defeated and surrounded by Black Ops soldiers, then Dawn, DJ, and Sammy made their escape.

"In the end, however, it was Sierra who got the shove," Sierra was shown getting pushed out of the plane, "and _Dawn_ got her butt put back in the game." The recap finished up with Dawn being sternly directed back to Team Universe, then hugging Sammy.

The scene cut to the cockpit as the plane suddenly rolled upside down, causing Chef's pilot hat and a few bits and bobs to fall onto the ceiling. "Whoa!" Chris said as he steadied himself before pointing at the camera. "Who's going to blunder in the land down under?" he asked. "The game is about to get turned on its head, right now on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

The plane was still flying entirely upside-down as the camera zoomed back from it.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode, as usual, opened with a shot of the plane flying off towards the left; in contrast to the previous episode, it was now daytime. The scene cut to the common area, where the trio of Dawn, Sammy, and DJ were in the middle of catching up with each other.

"So wait," Sammy asked, "you really _were_ following us all this time?"

"Sort of, but it's more complicated than that," Dawn admitted. "To be honest, I'm a little embarrassed since you were never supposed to actually _see_ me," she added with a sheepish blush.

DJ and Sammy exchanged a confused look. "So what exactly were you doin'?" the brickhouse asked.

"Umm, well, I've been trying to teach myself astral projection," Dawn explained hesitantly. "It's an ancient art that allows me to briefly transcend my body and travel through the astral plane to distant locations. While I was making the journey from Peru to Area 51, I practiced whenever I meditated, and..."

"...decided to check up on us?" Sammy finished with a smile.

"Yes, exactly," Dawn replied warmly. "Though I visited some other places too. I'm not sure why I was _seen_ , though, that's not supposed to happen." She put on a troubled but thoughtful look, but DJ just shrugged,

"Prob'ly just doin' somethin' different is all," he told her. "Or maybe you're just the only person good enough to do it like that."

"Oh," Dawn blushed, "I doubt that. It's probably just something I'll have to figure out some other time. Anyway," her color quickly returned to normal, "you must tell me what's been going on since I left."

Sammy and DJ shared another look, and DJ motioned for his girlfriend to start. "Oh, well, when you didn't show up on the plane me and DJ were _totally_ freaking out," she said. "We looked _everywhere_ for you, but obviously couldn't find anything."

"For a moment we thought you abandoned us or something," DJ admitted, rubbing the back of his head in shame. "But we figured you must've had your reasons, _especially_ once you started showin' up at challenges."

"Yeah, it's a shame we didn't find your letter before Scarlett did," Sammy said, causing Dawn to raise her brow in confusion. "It would've made things _way_ better for us."

"Wait, Scarlett found my letter?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah," Sammy told her. "She read it and used it to blackmail Sugar into an alliance with her."

"Turns out you were right about Sugar and Scott workin' together," DJ added, "but it was only 'cause _Scott_ bullied her into it."

"But Sugar didn't want anyone to know about it, so she went along with Scarlett until her and Scott were eliminated," Sammy said.

"Then Sugar gave the letter to us, and that's it," DJ finished.

"I see...," Dawn told them with a thoughtful look.

xxx

"That's odd," the moonchild confessed, "I could've _sworn_ Scarlett was being honest about not knowing about the letter...but then again, the way she worded it could've been to throw me off." Dawn tapped her chin a few times in deep thought, then frowned. "Still, I should _probably_ keep an eye on Sugar."

xxx

The scene cut to a close-up of a chocolate chip cookie, the camera pulling back to reveal it being held by Ezekiel as he and Tyler lounged in first class. He took a bite, and smiled. "Still warm, eh. First class really is my kinda place."

"Mine too," Tyler said. "And the best part is, we proved that even a team of two can still win challenges!"

"Ya got that right, guy," Ezekiel grinned, and the two boys bumped fists.

"Still," Tyler continued with a knowing nod, "we can't get _too_ overconfident or we'll just blow it. We gotta keep avoiding last place until the merge."

"Right, eh," Ezekiel nodded. "I'm pretty sure we won't have long to wait either. There's only like half of us left, so it'll probably only be another challenge or two before the teams merge."

Tyler blinked, then grinned. "Good to know. Just a little bit more, than it's gonna be Tyler and Zeke all the way to the top!"

"Oh yeah," Ezekiel said, and the two boys bumped fists again.

/

Another flash took the scene to economy class, where Alejandro was standing in the middle of the aisle with Ella and Sugar sitting on the seat behind him. A rat squeaked and scurried up to him, and Alejandro looked at is disdainfully. "Loser class _again_?" he muttered. " _Pathetic_." He turned on his heel and addressed his two present teammates. "Ladies, we must rise from the ashes and light the fires of victory!"

"Wait, you wanna set Tyler an' Zeke on _fire_?" Sugar asked in confusion.

"I should hope not," Ella said in horror, looking up as she scratched the rat on its head, "that would be _horrible_!"

"I-that's not what I meant!" Alejandro stammered, flushing slightly. "I would _never_ do such a thing! I meant we should light the fires of _our_ victory, you know, start _winning_ again?"

"Oh, why didn't you just say so!" Sugar said in a jolly tone.

"Really, Alejandro, you _must_ watch your words more carefully," Ella scolded. "It's causing misunderstandings!"

Alejandro sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, I can see that, and I apologize for not being more clear," he told her before resuming his calm but pleading demeanor. "But still, you _must_ agree that as the largest team it's only natural that we dominate the competition, right?"

"I _suppose_ ," Ella said, "but honestly, I don't think you're giving the others enough credit. Team Victory won the last challenge fair and square, as did Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean before that. I'd say that's proof enough that size isn't _everything_."

"True," Alejandro admitted, " _luck_ plays a part as well. But I feel it's about time that the other teams' luck ran _out_."

"Uhh, I'm _right here_ y'know," Shawn spoke up, the viewpoint rotating to show him sitting with an unamused expression on the opposite wall.

"For _now_ , my friend, for _now_ ," Alejandro said with a cocky smile.

"Yeah, the same can be said of _you_ ," Shawn countered, causing Alejandro to raise an eyebrow in amused disbelief.

xxx

" _Please_ , that dirty tree-monkey has no idea what he's talking about!" Alejandro confessed with a laugh. "Ella remains under my control, and Sugar is too eager to get on my good side to dare go against me. I'll admit that Dawn being in the game again could prove troublesome, but so long as I can get Sammy to keep her word then the aura-whisperer may as well be a part of my alliance as well. I'm practically _untouchable_ right now!"

xxx

The plane icon was shown flying across the season's world map, heading towards and circling over Australia. While it moved, Chris's voice came over the plane's loudspeaker. "All competitors, please move to the common area for a _special announcement_."

A flash took the scene to the dining area, the nine contestants already assembled. Shawn had taken a seat next to DJ, who was still sharing a table with Sammy and Dawn. The rest of Team Universe were seated at the same side of the table next to the two blondes, and the duo of Tyler and Ezekiel sat opposite them.

"I wonder what Chris wants?" Tyler asked.

"Probably some new way to make our lives miserable," Alejandro replied in a bored tone. "Of course, those with _love_ on their side won't be nearly as affected." He put his hand on Ella's and squeezed it lightly so she blushed and leaned into him, then sent a side-eyed grin back at Tyler, who was scowling.

"Oh yes," Ella said happily, "love really does conquer all! Why, look at what happened last time, without the power of love Scarlett would never have been defeated!" She gave a warm and happy smile to DJ, Sammy, and Dawn, causing all three to blush and the first two to look away bashfully.

"Oh, err, wh-what do you mean by that?" Dawn asked.

"Why, I mean-" Ella began to answer before her words were drowned out by the sound of an airhorn.

The cast looked to the side and a dramatic tune played as Chris stepped into the room. "Hello, competitors! Who's ready for today?"

"That depends," Shawn said blankly, "what exactly are you gonna do to us?"

"I'm glad you asked that, Shawn," Chris told him. "See, I honestly wasn't expecting all three teams to last this long, and I gotta say I'm getting kinda _bored_ of them." As he spoke, the camera panned over the surprised looks on the contestant's faces. "So, it's time to shake things up!"

"Waiting, we're merging teams?" Alejandro asked is disbelief. " _Now_?"

"Guess I was a little off, eh," Ezekiel told Tyler. "I think we're still good though."

"You bet we are!" Tyler said with a wide grin. "We just made the merge! _Yeah_!" He pumped his fist in his excitement.

The airhorn was blown again, and the camera cut back to the scowling host as he took a finger out of his ear. "Don't get ahead of yourselves, this _isn't_ the merge."

"Oh...," Sammy said blankly, "then what _is_ it?"

" _This_ ," Chris answered, his scowl slowly fading into his usual fake smile, "is a Mix-Up, where _three_ teams," he held up the same number of fingers, "will become _two_." He lowered one of his raised fingers, then clasped his hands behind his back. "Now sadly, since they lost the last challenge Team Chris is Really Really Really _Really_ Mean is breaking up. DJ," the gentle giant perked up, "you're now on Team Victory. Shawn, you're on Team Universe."

The two boys in question looked at on another, then Shawn raised a finger to speak. "Uhh, sorry, but that doesn't really seem _balanced_."

"That's because I'm not done yet," Chris told him. "I'm _also_ breaking up Team Universe's 'Fab Five'."

" _What_?!" Alejandro exclaimed in wide-eyed disbelief.

"You heard me, dude," the host told him. "You're staying put, however, as are Samey and Dawn. Ella, Sugar, that means you're on Team Victory now."

"But...but Alejandro and I-" Ella began to worriedly say.

"-are gonna have to deal with being separated," Chris told her.

"Aww shucks, don't you worry!" Sugar told the princess, throwing an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. "You still got ol' _Sugar_ with you!" The smile she gave Ella didn't seem to make the girl feel much better.

"Anywho," Chris continued, "today's forecast is clear skies with temperatures of 50 degrees Celsius, or, say, 300 degrees Fahrenheit. Get ready for a _toasty_ landing!"

A few dramatic notes played as the shot cut outside the plane, showing it coming in for a landing in the red sandy desert of the Australian Outback.

/

"G-day mate, and welcome to Australia!" Chris said in an attempted Australian accent as a didgeridoo was blown in the background. The scene had skipped forward to the two reconfigured teams standing in the red sands in front of the host; the golden trophy of Team Victory appeared over Tyler, Ezekiel, Ella, Sugar, and DJ; and Team Universe's blue spiral galaxy appeared over Alejandro, Dawn, Sammy, and Shawn.

"I call today's challenge 'The Marathon of _Death_ '," Chris continued in his usual voice, the scene flashing to a panning shot of the barren Outback. "Part one is an emu race all the way into the Blue Mountains." Another flash took the shot down a craggy mountain covered with patches of grass and trees. "I'm not saying the trip will be dangerous _exactly_ , but with venomous snakes, killer scorpions, and the very real possibility of sunstroke, I hope you all have your affairs in order."

Team Victory looked at him with open-mouthed dread.

"Whoever reaches majestic Hanging Rock _first_ will earn a distinct advantage in the second half of the challenge," the host explained. "And yes, I said _emu_." He looked to the side and shouted "Bring 'em in, boys!" A pair of annoyed-looking men, one white and one black, walked up leading a mob of the giant birds. "No saddles," Chris commented. "After all, it's supposed to be a challenge." One of the birds pecked the white intern in the head.

"Now go!" the host commanded.

/

The music became tense as the contestants were shown chasing the birds around in an attempt to grab one. Dawn was shown calmly grabbing a lead as its emu ran by, then giving a startled cry as it started dragging her along; Tyler and Ezekiel nodded at one another and pounced at the same bird, only for it to squawk and dodge at the last moment leaving them groaning on the ground.

"Here, emu emu emu," Sammy said softly as she approached a bird with caution, the music calming down again. "I'm not gonna hurt you, I just wanna...," she locked eyes with the emu and crept closer and closer until... "ride you!" she yelled as she pounced, grabbing the emu around the neck. Try though she did to hold on tight, the startled bird quickly started pecking at her until, with a shriek, she let go and it ran off.

"Having trouble?" Alejandro asked, walking up to the cheerleader with an emu being lead behind him.

"Nothing I can't handle," Sammy said, not looking at him as she stood up and brushed the sand off her skirt.

"But of course," he told her. "Still, as one ally to another I _am_ willing to just give you the emu I've already gotten," he held out the end of his lead. "I can wrangle another one in no time."

"Oh, thanks for the offer," Sammy said, a smile forming on her face as she looked at something off-screen, "but I don't need it."

It was then that Dawn arrived, seated on the back of one emu and holding the lead of another. "Here," she told Sammy, "I saw you having trouble, so I thought I'd help you out." She handed over the other lead, which the cheerleader accepted eagerly.

"Thank you so much!" Sammy gushed, reaching out and stroking the emu's neck.

Alejandro moved a blank look between the two girls, then smiled. "Yes, of course," he said. "Incidentally," he told Sammy as she tried to mount her bird, "I hope you haven't forgotten about our _alliance_ after everything that's happened."

"Oh, I haven't...," Sammy said with a nervous chuckle, the camera shifting to show Dawn giving her an inquisitive look.

xxx

"Okay, when I agreed to the alliance with Alejandro," Sammy explained in the restroom confessional, "I only thought it was gonna be to eliminate Scarlett, and Sugar before she gave me Dawn's letter. Now that the teams are mixed up, I don't think I wanna keep _Alejandro_ around over _Shawn_ if we lose. But...I don't really know if I wanna go back on my deal, either. That seems more like an _Amy_ thing to do than a _Sammy_ thing..."

xxx

The focus moved to Shawn and DJ, the former wrestling for control over an emu's lead with the bird itself as DJ walked up to him. "Here, man, you gotta be _gentle_ with these things," DJ told him, taking the lead from his hand and scratching the bird under the beak so that it squawked delightedly. "There's a good bpy," he told it, "you be good, okay?" The emu squawked again, and the gentle giant passed its lead back to Shawn.

"Uhh, thanks," Shawn said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "I wish I could stay and help you get yours, but..."

"Don't worry about it," DJ said. "You got your new team, and I got mine. Just don't expect me to be behind for long."

"Yeah," Shawn smirked, and the two former teammates bumped fists.

"Shawn!" Alejandro called out impatiently from off-screen, the shot cutting to show him, Sammy, and Dawn all on their emus. "Let's go, amigo!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Shawn answered as he jumped on his emu's back.

DJ snorted jovially. "Good luck with Alejandro, dude," he told the survivalist.

"Thanks. Good luck with the new Team Victory," Shawn replied, the two boys looking momentarily distracted as Ella rode by, sitting side-saddle and humming to her emu.

"Thanks," DJ replied blankly.

/

The scene skipped ahead to show Ella and DJ riding their emus with a bit of distance between them. A pan back to the left showed Tyler and Ezekiel riding side-by-side, until Sugar rode up between them.

"Howdy, new teammates!" she greeted cheerfully. "How y'all doin'?"

"Not so great, eh," Ezekiel said, dripping with sweat. "It's too hot out here."

"Just hang in there, Zeke," Tyler told his friend. "We're gonna win this challenge in no time."

Sugar chuckled. "Yup, sure are!" she told them. "Y'know, I'm pretty glad I got the two of you on my team now. Sure beats havin' to pal around with that _Alejandro_."

"Yeah, I hope they vote him out," Tyler said with an angry frown.

"Me too!" Sugar said with a happy nod. "After all that trouble I got myself into with Scarlett and Scott, I do _not_ want another evil type runnin' around messin' with people."

Ezekiel stiffened slightly at the mention of his former friend, then removed his toke and wiped his brow with it. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he said with a slightly mournful tone.

"Oh yeah, I guess the two of you got messed around by Scott too, huh?" Sugar said with an almost thoughtful stare before smiling again. "Y'know, I think the three of us ought to stick together on account of us all bein' the victims of schemin'. Whaddaya say?"

Tyler and Ezekiel shared a shrugging look behind the pageant queen's back, then leaned back forward to look at the girl between them. "Sounds good to me," Tyler said.

"Yeah, eh, I guess it can't hurt," Ezekiel added.

Sugar dramatically wiped a tear from her eye. "Thank you so much!" she told them. "It means the world to me knowin' there's two boys I can actually _trust_ out here." Tyler and Ezekiel smiled at her awkwardly.

xxx

"Man, this new team is almost _perfect_ for me!" Sugar happily told the confessional camera. "Only thing missin' is havin' someone else in place of Tyler, 'cause I think Ella's already got her claws in him. Still," she chuckled, "so long as I take things slow and work my magic on the boys, pretty soon Ella will be _long gone_." She ended her confessional with another chuckle.

xxx

"How long do we have to wait?" Chef asked Chris, the two men standing on top of Hanging Rock, a tent already pitched for them.

The host checked his folded-up map, then said "Another two hours, maybe?" Chef snatched the map from him and unfolded it more. Chris took one look at it and corrected himself. "Oops, make that two _days_!"

The two men cackled to themselves.

/

A flash put the camera facing the crest of a small hill, the sun beating down on it. A timelapse began, showing the sun rotating to the left as it set to be replaced by the moon, which in turn made way for the sun again.

With a reverent note the timelapse ended, and the scene flashed to DJ wiping the sweat from his brow as he rode his emu through the desert.

"Man, where is everybody?" he wondered aloud, shield the sun from his eyes with his hand and he scanned the area. "No _way_ I passed Dawn yet...maybe I'm-"

He was cut off by the sudden sound of song nearby. "If we wish to beat the heat the shade is really neat!" the camera quick-panned ahead to show Ella singing from the back of her emu, the bird taking a slow pace as it listened. A kangaroo was hopping along in pace with them, also apparently enraptured by the singer's voice. "But if the shade is gone we must continue on and on!"

"Nice singin'," DJ said as he had his emu trot up alongside. "Kinda surprised you still got the energy to do it in this heat though."

"Oh, the thought of reuniting with my love Alejandro gives me plenty of motivation to keep going," Ella explained. "I'm sure you understand, you _must_ feel the same way about Sammy and Dawn."

DJ blushed a little, but smiled. "Yeah, I guess so."

/

The scene cut back to Chris and Chef sitting on a small ledge near their tent; a few half-empty pizza boxes littered the ground behind them, and the hulking man was busying himself by carving a didgeridoo.

Chris checked his watch, then asked "Think the scorpions got 'em?"

"Five to one its the _dingoes_ ," Chef replied. He finished his carving, then held the instrument up to his mouth and began to play. Chris snapped his fingers to the 'tune', and seconds later a tired-looking Alejandro rode up behind them.

"Ahem!" he said sharply, startling both men into screaming.

" _Finally_ ," Chris said, recovering quickly.

Shawn, Dawn, and Sammy arrived shortly after; the former two were breathing heavily but otherwise fairly well-off, but the cheerleader had basically collapsed onto her emu's back. "That took _forever_!" she groaned.

"You know, I kind of enjoyed it," Shawn told Dawn. "I'll have to work out the benefits of hiding out here when the zombie apocalypse comes."

"Congrats on taking the lead, Team Universe!" Chris told them moments before DJ and Ella rode up.

"Aww man, we lost?" DJ said in disappointment.

"Well, look at the bright side," Ella told him as they approached the smiling members of Team Universe, "at least we all made the journey safely!" She slid easily off the back of her emu and waved to Alejandro; he smiled and blew her a kiss back that made her blush.

"Most of us at least," DJ said after waving to Sammy and Dawn. "I wonder what happened to the others?"

"Tyler and Zeke are right here!" the jock announced, the camera cutting to him and an exhausted Ezekiel riding up the slope of Hanging Rock.

"Yeah!" Ezekiel cheered weakly before falling off his bird.

"Cool," DJ said, helping Ezekiel up and Tyler down. "Now where's Sugar?" he added, looking around in confusion.

Tyler's brow shot up, then furrowed as he also looked down the mountain. "Hey, good question. I thought she was right behind us?"

/

A flash revealed Sugar and her emu slumped forward in exhaustion as they made their way across the Outback.

"Okay emu," Sugar told the bird, "if anyone asks, we did _not_ get lost tryin' to find a cab to drive us the rest of the way. Deal?"

The emu squawked its agreement.

/

Tyler and Ezekiel were shown with their hands to their foreheads scanning the horizon as DJ and Ella watched with worried looks.

"Don't even _think_ about going back to find Sugar," Chris told them, gaining the attention of all four as the initial drumbeats of the series' capstone theme began to play. "You'll just have to sit tight and wait for her to arrive. Team Universe," he motioned to the other four who were standing by Chef, who was holding up the ends of two long cords. "Get ready to buckle up and take a _long_ walk off a short cliff."

"What exactly are they jumping in to?" he asked the camera as it cut back to him. "Find out when we boomerang back," he briefly pointed a finger and donned his fake Australian accent, "on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed with a drumroll and chanted note on eight of nine contestants assembled with the host on top of Hanging Rock. "Okay teams!" Chris greeted as the camera zoomed in on him. "Get ready to look death in the face, and live to tell the tale." Sammy, Dawn, and Shawn shared an uncertain look. "Or not...," the host added, "ya know? I'm easy."

He gestured to a spire of rock behind him, to which a thick cord had been tied. "The challenge, part two. Teams must take turns bungee-jumping off Hanging Rock and plummeting to the bottom," the shot zoomed out a little and started moving down, "far, far, fa-ha- _haar_ below," the music built dramatically as the camera descended faster and faster, "to try and grab one of Australia's finest sheep."

Down at the bottom was a large pen of sheep, and the camera cut back to pan across the shocked faces of the contestants as Chris continued his explanation. "Three of those sheep have Team Victory logos tattooed on their side," he said. "Another three have Team Universe logos under their wool, not too far from their lethal jaws." He mimed a sheep's jaw biting down on something.

"Uhh, what kind of _lethal_ are we talking about here?" Shawn asked nervously.

"The first team to catch and shear one of their _own_ sheep wins first class tickets to Nextville," Chris said, ignoring the question. "And, the _losers_ head to elimination town. As the _last_ to arrive, Team Victory gets a pair of gardening shears."

Chef Hatchet handed a pair of grimy and jagged shears to DJ, who cringed as he opened them.

"And, as the _first_ team to arrive, Team Universe gets _this_ advantage." The four teens in question turned their heads as one to Chef, who held up a small electric razor-like device. "Battery-operated sheep shears," the host said as his assistant turned them on.

"Excellent!" Alejandro grinned, Sammy and Shawn looking similarly excited while Dawn simply looked resigned.

xxx

"Normally I'd be more hesitant to put some poor defenseless sheep through such a dangerous challenge," Dawn explained in the restroom confessional, "but I've seen what happens when sheep don't get sheared. It's _not_ good for them."

xxx

"So, who wants to go first?" Alejandro asked his teammates, briefly switching on the electric shears.

"I will," Dawn volunteered, surprising the others. "You all have endured much in my absence, it's only fair that I be the first to take on this challenge."

"Are you sure?" Sammy asked worriedly, DJ also looking their way with concern on his face. "It's a long way down."

"Don't worry," Dawn smiled, "I'll be fine."

"Good to see you're getting back in the spirit of things," Chris told her. "Now get going, times a wastin'!"

A dramatic tune played over a close-up of Dawn hooking the cord to a sheath around her leg. She gulped as she stood up, then said "Here goes!"

She jumped, and screamed as she fell with another dramatic tune accompanying her on the way down. The bungee cord pulled taut as she reached the sheep, but despite reaching her arms down and grabbing a sheep by the wool it slipped out of her hands almost immediately. "Oh no!" she cried as she sprung back up, a sentiment that was quickly replaced by another panicked scream just as she slammed down on her back on the mountaintop.

"Dawn!" Sammy and DJ cried at once, both rushing to the moonchild's side as Chris and Chef laughed.

"I'm okay," Dawn said, lifting herself up and shaking her head a little to the relief of Sammy and DJ.

"I'd better go next," Alejandro said, unhooking the cord from her.

"Good luck Alejandro!" Ella called out, and the charmer gave her a quick smile and wave before he dove gracefully off the rock.

The dramatic tune played again as he fell, and he narrowed his eyes and grinned as the sheep pen was shown rapidly approaching.

Back on the mountaintop, Dawn had gotten to her feet but Sammy and DJ were still standing around her looking somewhat worried. "Really, I appreciate your concern, but I'm quite fine!" she told them.

"Sorry," DJ said with a warm smile, "we just didn't wanna see you get hurt."

"Yeah," Sammy added with a smile of her own, "you've only just come back, we don't want you to have to leave because of, like, some injury or something."

Dawn blushed and averted her gaze a little. "Thanks..."

"Ahh," Ella sighed dreamily nearby, "it really is _wonderful_ to see you three together again. The love you share is _very_ special."

DJ and Sammy blushed bashfully, while Dawn just looked down thoughtfully. "Yes, I suppose it is..." she murmured to herself.

A dramatic tune reemerged just then as Alejandro suddenly flew back up to the top of the rock formation, and landed neatly with a sheep in his arms. "Let's go!" he cried out to his teammates, who immediately made a move for the animal that was pinned to the ground. Shawn turned on the electric shears, but the four were interrupted by the host.

"Perfect timing, Al!" he said with a broad grin, and the music note icon appeared with its usual ding.

Team Universe groaned.

"Oh don't worry," Chris told them, "today's song is _special_. Dawn, since your little breech-of- _contract_ left you out of a bunch of songs, this one's yours. But since I'm in a good mood, I'll let you pick two of the others for back-up."

"Two...?" Dawn repeated in shock, unaware of the expectant looks Sammy and DJ were giving her.

"Yup, two," Chris repeated with a nod. "Who's it gonna be?"

Dawn was silent for a second, then nodded with renewed resolve. "I pick...Ella and Alejandro."

The brow of every other contestant present shot up in surprise except for Ella, who just looked ecstatic.

"Cool," the host said. "Hit it!"

~/~

[A soft rock melody began, comprised primarily of a bass guitar and drum set with the light hum of the electric shears just audible in the background. The visuals shifted first to a zoomed-out shot of Hanging Rock, then to shots thereabout as various wild animals turned and looked up at the music – emus, kangaroos, sheep, dingoes, and more.]

" _I've got a lot to answer for, I left the game and so much more_ ;"

[Dawn began to sing, the camera cutting in close to her standing at a microphone on top of the seemingly near-deserted Hanging Rock. Ella and Alejandro were a little ways behind her; all three were wearing slouch hats, had their eyes closed, and their heads tilted down slightly and bobbing to the rhythm.]

" _Since I met you, I've watched you get so close; but I kept inside what I feared the most_."

[Dawn looked up and opened her eyes, the camera pulling back to show DJ and Sammy facing one another, holding hands and smiling lovingly. As the line continued the camera zoomed back in on the moonchild, who faded into a silhouette of herself upon which another image was being projected against the image of the top of Hanging Rock – first a silhouette of her and DJ in the same position DJ and Sammy had been in; then a gleam passed over it, causing it to shift into a silhouette of Dawn and Sammy instead.]

" _That I would just get in your way; what I really wanted I, couldn't say_."

[The camera zoomed back out and the color returned to Dawn's silhouette a few words into the line. The outward zoom continued, showing DJ and Sammy frowning and turning away from one another, and Dawn shaking her head sadly.]

" _So I tried to run, and I tried to hide, but I can't escape this love inside_!"

[Both the music and Dawn's emotion hit a peak as the camera focused on her singing. A few drum beats abruptly shifted the focus over to Ella and Alejandro, as they finally joined the song.]

" _It's time to face it, time to place it, let them both into your heart_!"

[They sang in unison, walking around the moonchild on opposite sides – Ella to her right; Alejandro to her left.]

" _Time to know it, time to show it, something new's about to start_!"

[They turned to face the moonchild as the camera pulled back again, showing DJ and Sammy now hand-in—hand but facing Dawn and smiling softly as they each extended a hand to her.]

" _And I know that we can go so far; together out into the stars_!"

[Dawn sang passionately, the scene flashing back to what was apparently the actual Hanging Rock: Shawn and Chris and Tyler could be seen watching off to the sides, and the DJ and Sammy that Dawn was now approaching looked much more stunned-yet-hopeful than the illusion that had been shown of them.]

" _The two of you, are by my side, the love we share will be our guide_!"

[She took them by the hands, the camera tilting to show first her and DJ, then shifting left to show her and Sammy, then pulling back as quickly pulled the two into a deep hug.]

["I am _so_ sorry it took me so long to realize this," she said as the music continued behind her, her voice muffled slightly by their clothing. The two said nothing, just sharing a warm smile with one another before fully embracing Dawn.]

" _It's time to face it, time to place it, let her love into your hearts_!"

[Ella and Alejandro sang again, circling a little ways around the trio before starting the next line.]

" _Time to know it, time to show_..."

" _Something new's about... to... start_!"

[It was Dawn who finished the song, pulling back from the embrace slightly and blushing as DJ and Sammy each kissed her on the cheek.]

~/~

"Oh, that was _wonderful_!" Ella gushed as Alejandro gently led her away, and the focus moved solely onto Dawn, Sammy, and DJ.

"DJ, Sammy," Dawn said, looking from one to the other, "I _truly_ love both of you. I sincerely hope this won't negatively affect the bonds we share in any way."

The cheerleader and brickhouse shared a knowing look before looking back at their third. "Oh, I don't think it will...," Sammy said. "In fact, DJ and I were already thinking of a way to make things _better_..."

"Yeah," DJ chimed in, rubbing the back of his neck. "It might be a little, uh, _unusual_ , but I think the three of us together could, ya know, _work_."

Dawn blushed, looking rather stunned. "Oh, yes, that...that would be perfect!" she told them both.

It was then that the background music took a more plodding turn and the camera panned over to Ella, Alejandro, and Shawn watching nearby. "Uhh, should we tell them I finished shearing the first sheep?" Shawn asked his teammate, the shot briefly cutting over to the naked sheep lying next to a pile of wool; it bore no logo on its flank.

"Let them have their moment," Alejandro cautioned. "You should go ahead and grab the next one."

"Right," Shawn said, handing him the shears and walking away.

"Sugar's here!" Ezekiel suddenly called out, causing Ella to perk up, then wave lightly to Alejandro before walking away. The charmer returned the gesture before turning in the opposite direction.

/

The scene moved to a close-up of a very tired emu before pulling out to show a very tired Sugar riding it. She reached Ezekiel, Tyler, and Ella, and unceremoniously fell off.

"Alright, we're back in this!" Tyler said excitedly. "Hey Chris, pass the harness over here!"

/

Another flash took the scene back to the cliffside as Alejandro watched Shawn spring back up holding something orange rather than white. The camera zoomed in on his face as he landed on the rock with a wince and a grunt, then cut over to Alejandro raising an amused eyebrow.

"Amigo, you _do_ realize that's a dingo, right?" he asked the survivalist, the shot pulling back to fully show the snarling wild dog in Shawn's arms.

"Duh," Shawn deadpanned, "I can tell the difference between and a dingo and a sheep." He quickly jerked his head out of the way as the dingo snapped at him, then added in alarm "Though they _do_ both have lethal jaws."

"I think _I'll_ hold on to it for now," he said, calmly taking hold of the canine. It immediately started growling at him, but faltered at the smile he gave it. "Who's a good dingo?" he cooed, scratching it gently on the head. "You are!" The dog seemed to fall for it, wagging its tail and looking generally happy.

"Make way for _Tyler_!" the jock said as he suddenly ran towards the cliff, the harness already hooked to his leg.

"Take this back down, would you?" Alejandro said, quickly shoving the dingo into Tyler's arms as he ran past.

"Huh?" Tyler said in confusion, still running even with the now-angry dingo in his hands. He started screaming once it snapped at him and he realized what had happened, which coincidentally was the same time he ran off the cliff.

xxx

The static cut to Alejandro laughing in the restroom confessional before wiping a tear from his eye and happily sighing out "Classic!"

xxx

A dramatic tune played as Tyler was shown plummeting downward with the dingo in his arms; he finally reached the bottom and dropped the dog, then breathed a sigh of relief. All too soon, however, he realized he was going back up without having grabbed a sheep. "Aww, man!" he said in disappointment, the shot cutting back to the top of Hanging Rock as he returned flailing his arms and landing on his chin.

"You did that on _purpose_ ," he accused Alejandro.

"Yes, I did," the charmer, already hooked to his team's harness, admitted just before taking another dive off the cliff.

"Uggh, I can't _believe_ that guy," he muttered as he got back to his feet, unhooked himself, and walked over to his teammates. DJ had broken off from his girlfriends, and the five members of Team Victory were reunited once more. "Sorry guys," Tyler told them, " _Al_ messed up my dive."

Ella furrowed her brow. "Are you sure? That doesn't _sound_ like him, it must have been an accident."

"The guy shoved a dingo into my _arms_ and told me to take it back down!" Tyler explained in exasperation.

"Hmm...," Ella said, still with disbelieving uncertainty in her voice. "I think I'll go ask _him_ what happened, if you don't mind."

Tyler looked down dejectedly as she walked away, and DJ cast a wary look between him and the singer. "Uhh, I'm just gonna go get ready for our next turn," he said with a thumb pointed over his shoulder. "If that's okay with you guys."

"Go ahead...," Tyler told him.

xxx

"I thought this whole mix-up thing was gonna be _great_ ," Tyler told the confession cam. "I mean, I'm finally on a team with Ella! But I guess she still can't see that Alejandro's a _jerk_. I have to find a way to get through to her!"

xxx

The moment DJ was gone, Sugar threw her arms around Ezekiel and Tyler. "Listen," she whispered to them, "I think we gotta get rid of _DJ_ next."

"Why?" Tyler asked in confusion.

"'Cause he's too close with the other team!" Sugar explained. "I mean, he's datin' _half_ of 'em now, or somethin', and Shawn used to be his teammate! Plus, Sammy's got an alliance with Al and Ella, so once the merge comes the three of _us_ are gonna be goners!"

Ezekiel looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. Even though he's a great guy, I don't think he'll stay on our side fer very long, eh. Votin' him out now is like, err, pre-emptive self-defense, I think."

" _Exactly_ ," Sugar said with a blank smile and nod.

"I don't know," Tyler said uncertainly. "I don't think him or his girls really _like_ Alejandro, they won't stick with him very long. Maybe if we keep him around, they'll be on our side?"

Sugar smile devilishly for a second before pursing her lips. "Then who do _you_ think we should vote for, _Ella_?"

Tyler's brow shot up and his eyes went wide as he exclaimed " _No_!"

It was then that DJ arrived with a sheep squirming under his arm and a confused look on his face. "Uh, is there a problem?" he asked his teammates.

"Nope!" Sugar said immediately before taking out the old-fashioned sheep shears. "Now let's get to shearin'!" she declared, snipping the shears and making the captured sheep gulp in fear.

xxx

"Now why do I get the feelin' that those three were talkin' strategy together?" DJ asked the confession cam, his arms crossed and a disappointed look on his face. He shook his head and tutted, then said "I _know_ Sugar's on my side on account of the letter thing, so that's _gotta_ mean they're aimin' for sweet Ella. I better warn her before it's too late."

xxx

"Quick, hurry!" Alejandro said, running up to his teammates with a sheep under his arm as the background music became tense.

"On it!" Shawn said, electric shears already on as the charmer held the sheep down on the ground and Dawn unhooked the bungee cord from his leg.

"Excuse me, Alejandro?" Ella asked, walking up while Team Universe was still shearing their sheep. "Sorry to interrupt, but may I speak with you for a moment?"

"I'm a little busy right now," Alejandro told her, trying to concentrate on the squirming sheep as Shawn sheared it.

"I know, and I'm _sorry_ ," she told him, "but it's just that _Tyler_ says you gave him an angry dingo on _purpose_ , so I wanted to get your side of the story and clear things up."

"It was an _accident_ ," Alejandro explained, his calm tone just barely masking his impatience. "Tyler got too close while I was handling the dingo, and it grabbed onto him. He's lucky he didn't hurt himself or the dog, though I _will_ admit I'm glad it's no longer causing trouble up here."

"Oh, I see," Ella said with a nod.

Just then, Sugar ran past them towards the cliff. "Make way fer Sugar's turn!" she declared, Ella and Team Universe watching as she took a running jump off Hanging Rock.

"I suppose I'll just...go back to my _team_ then," Ella said.

"A good idea," Alejandro told her, his gaze locked on the nearly-naked sheep. The camera cut in for a close-up as Shawn shaved away one last patch of wool, revealing nothing but bare skin and leading Alejandro to exclaim "Oh no, another blank!"

"I'll get the next one," Sammy volunteered immediately, quickly hooking the leg harness on. "Just gotta wait for..." The sudden holler of Sugar as she sprang back up distracted the four member of Team Universe. " _Sugar_...," Sammy finished blankly.

The pageant queen had a sheep in her arms, and the pair landed on their butts. "Nailed it!" she declared happily, unhooking herself as she stood then running the sheep off to the left.

The shot quick-panned ahead to the rest of Team Victory, DJ and Ezekiel watching towards the right while Ella talked with Tyler. "And so it really _was_ just an accident," Ella told the jock, "so please don't hold it against him."

"You expect be to believe that?" Tyler asked in disbelief. "He told me himself that it was on purpose!"

"Well...you must have just _misheard_ him," Ella said with a troubled look.

"Alright Team Victory," Sugar declared as the camera shifted over to her slamming the sheep down in the middle of their group, "time to _victorize_!"

"Leave it to the Zeke!" Ezekiel declared with a grin as he began to shear the pinned animal.

/

A flash took the scene to Sammy as she plunged off Hanging Rock, shrieking in terror with one hand holding her skirt into place. The camera zoomed in as she reached the bottom, then with a frantic look grabbed a sheep and sprung back up holding it in front of her.

The camera cut back to the top of the rock formation as she landed sheep-first with a grunt, and cried out "Shear it! Shear it!" to her waiting team.

As the scene quick-panned back to Team Victory the background music became even tenser, Sugar turning a worried look away from the direction of their opponents. "C'mon, c'mon!" she told Ezekiel.

"I'm goin' as fast as I can, eh!" Ezekiel said as he quickly sheared off the rest of their sheep's wool.

A flat note accompanied Team Victory's collective groan as the camera zoomed in on their sheep's blank side.

"I'll get the next one," Tyler said before running off with a determined expression.

"Better hurry up," Chris said as the jock ran by.

The background music suddenly dropped off as the shot cut back to Team Universe shearing their latest sheep, a drumroll playing as the camera zoomed in. A patch of wool was cleared away to reveal Team Universe's logo, and triumphant music began to play as the four teens smiled. "Victory at last," Alejandro declared as he took the sheep from Shawn and raised it over his head, "behold!"

"Team Universe wins!" Chris declared with an excited motion towards the winning four, the camera panning across them as the boys high-fived and the girls embraced.

The music turned sour as the shot cut to Team Victory, hanging their heads in disappointment.

/

A deep, blaring, and dramatic note played as the jumbo jet was shown taking off from a distance, a kangaroo hopping into view in the foreground and happily waving it off.

The scene cut inside to the common area as the music became more plodding and mysterious, the focus put squarely on DJ and Ella – the only two people in the room.

"Look, I hate to say it," the brickhouse began, "but I think the others are thinkin' of votin' you off tonight."

Ella gasped. "That can't be! Why would they do such a thing?"

"I don't know," DJ shook his head sadly, "but it's probably 'cause you and Alejandro are so close. But I don't think you should go home 'cause of that, so we gotta get one of the others on our side."

"But who?" Ella asked. "Tyler and Ezekiel seem like such good friends, and I'd hate to have to turn them against each other. And Sugar is _my_ friend, so I don't want to vote _her_ out..."

"Yeah, I owe Sugar a favor too on account of Dawn's letter," DJ nodded. "I was thinking of askin' her to vote for Ezekiel with us. I hate to do it to the guy, but there's not a lot of other choices."

Ella sighed and nodded. "Yes, I suppose so."

/

The scene skipped ahead a little, showing Sugar walking out of a non-confessional ladies' room. "Yo Sugar!" DJ called out from off-screen, getting her attention. She scowled momentarily, then put on a jovial grin as she turned around to greet them.

"Hey there, what can I do ya for?" she asked as DJ and Ella walked up to her.

"We'd like to speak to you about the vote tonight," Ella opened politely.

"Yeah, we know you and Zeke and Tyler were thinkin' of votin' off Ella," DJ added bluntly, surprising the pageant queen. "I'm not gonna hold it against you, just consider changin' your vote," the brickhouse added.

" _Please_ ," Ella pleaded with hands clasped, "I think of you as one of my _best_ _friends_ , Sugar. Whatever happened to make you want to vote me off, we can work it out!"

A moment of silence followed as the camera cut from close-ups of Sugar looking thoughtful, DJ's pleading look, Ella's more intense pleading look, and back to Sugar as she grinned and chuckled. "Okay, you win!" she said to the relief of the two before her. "I _promise_ I won't vote fer Ella tonight."

"Oh thank you, Sugar!" Ella said, hugging the pageant queen with a startling abruptness. "Thank you so much!"

Sugar quickly recovered and chuckled again. "Glad I could be of service!" she told them, the singer breaking the hug.

"Cool," DJ said. "And just so you know, we're gonna be voting for Zeke tonight."

"Hear ya loud an' clear," Sugar saluted, and the three went their separate ways. The camera followed Sugar, and closed in on her face as she began to chuckle devilishly.

/

A few deep notes began the usual music as the scene flashed to the elimination room. Chef was standing by the door and Chris at his podium; the five members of the new Team Victory were already seated, and their logo hung on the screen above them.

"It's been a tough day for many of you," the host began, "but one of you is about to have the worst day of all. _Sugar_ ," the shot cut to the surprised pageant star, "being last to arrive set your team back a ways. _DJ_ ," the focus switched to the gentle giant, "too focused on hooking up with the other team." DJ shrugged. " _Tyler_ ," the jock hung his head in shame, "a petty feud threw you off your game. _Ezekiel_ ," the homeschooler raised an eyebrow in confusion, "not too quick with the shears and not too good keeping an eye on your teammates." Ezekiel scowled. "And _Ella_ ," the singer's lip quavered, "maybe do more than talk to Alejandro next time." Ella hung her head in shame.

"Let the voting begin!" Chris said as the camera cut back to him. "Sugar, you're up first."

The pageant queen stood with a dramatic sigh as the music began to build. "If I gotta," she said before walking off to the right.

xxx

Sugar chuckled to herself as she began her voting confessional. "Well, I said I wasn't gonna vote fer Ella, so I won't!" she said jovially before stamping DJ's passport.

xxx

Tyler was next, cringing and looking away as he brought his stamp down on a passport lying at an angle that made the picture hard to make out.

xxx

Third was DJ, shaking his head silently as he stamped his vote on Ezekiel's passport.

xxx

Ezekiel plopped DJ's passport down in plain view, and stamped it before absentmindedly sticking a finger up his nose.

xxx

Ella was last, sighing sadly as she daintily stamped Ezekiel's passport.

xxx

The scene cut back to the five teens waiting anxiously back on the seats, the viewpoint rotating to show Chef opening the door to the outside and giving the contestants a knowing grin.

"Okay," the host began as the shot moved to him raising up one of the passports. "One vote for _DJ_ ," the camera cut to Team Victory as the brickhouse perked up in shock, "one for Ezekiel." DJ relaxed slightly as Ezekiel looked shocked. "A second for _DJ_ ," a split-screen was shown of the two boys who had received votes thus far, DJ once again looking scared as Ezekiel relaxed slightly. "A second for _Ezekiel_." The boy's expressions switched once again as the music began to reach its peak.

"And the last vote is fooorrr...," both boys started sweating nervously, " _DJ_!"

" _What_?!" the gentle giant exclaimed, standing up in shock. "Why me?"

"Sorry, guy," Tyler said, putting a hand on the larger boy's shoulder, "but you've got two hot girlfriends on the other team. If all three of you make the merge, it'll just be trouble for the rest of us."

DJ sighed. "Yeah, I getcha. Just wish I'd seen it comin'." He looked at Sugar, who shrugged mischievously.

"No hard feelin's?" she asked brightly.

"I guess," DJ shrugged.

"Yo," Chris said, getting DJ's attention, "the exit's right over there." He tossed the brickhouse a parachute pack and pointed towards the open door.

Catching the pack on his way towards the exit, DJ paused just before the open door. "Can I at least say goodbye to the girls?" he asked Chef, who responded with a stern glare that caused DJ to sigh. "Didn't think so."

He took a breath, then jumped out with a cry of "I'm comin' Mommaaaaaa!"

"If you think that was fun," Chris asked the camera as it cut back to him and the series' capstone them began to play, "you're gonna _love_ what I do to these guys next time, right here, on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" As the final shot zoomed out from the plane, the Chef balloon was shown in the co-pilot's seat in the cockpit, and the sun blazed behind the plane as the episode ended.

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

"Well, I guess that's that," DJ told the camera as he drifted down across the Australian sky. "Got the boot again, but at least I don't think I was really stabbed in the back. Plus I got another sweetie-pie girlfriend, too. Gonna be tough to explain to Momma, though, "he tapped his chin in thought, "I'm pretty sure she doesn't approve of polyamory."

He was silent for a moment, then shrugged hopelessly. "But I guess it's like Dawn says, sometimes you gotta do what your heart says is right, even if other people don't like it. Momma will understand...I hope."

On that uncertain note he finally landed in some nameless portion of the Outback scrubland, the parachute falling behind him as he looked around in confusion. "So...now what?" he asked, taking off his parachute pack then scratching his head. "Am I supposed to just find my way back or what?"

He started walking off to the left, the stopped suddenly when he heard a car honk behind him. He watched in shock as a yellow taxi cab with a kangaroo on the side pulled up to him, then grinned. "Hey sweet, great timing man!" he said before getting in and speeding off.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Well then, so much to talk about! For starters, between the official declaration of a canon OT3 between DJ, Dawn, and Sammy (which is what I planned from the very beginning), and DJ's subsequent elimination, that part of the story is officially over. I hope you all enjoyed it! Dawn's song, by the way, is called 'Can't Escape This Love', and is the reason why I decided to have Australia be this week's episode. See, back when this quarter was going to follow the canon location order, I ended up falling in love with the idea of having Dawn sing a love song to Sammy and DJ with Alejandro and Ella as back-up. And once I decided to move Area 51 up, I figured I should move the big moment I'd planned for Dawn up as well instead of trying to work it in to a different episode. I hope everyone enjoyed it, it's got a tune of its own but I think it shouldn't be that hard to follow along.

And now for the team Mix-Up. Originally I was just going to go the simple route that a few reviewers mentioned, which was to simply merge Team Chris into Team Victory and keep Team Universe as it was. I had toyed with the idea of changing things more a few weeks earlier, but didn't end up deciding to do so until just as I began to write the episode. And honestly, I really like how it's turned out. Sugar gets away from having to fight Alejandro for control of Team Universe and manages to make a couple new allies in the process; Ella and Tyler finally get to interact more; DJ's elimination is smoothed over; and Alejandro is no longer in what he believed what a comfortable position of power. I'm really happy I went with it, and I hope you all like it as well.

The only thing I'm gonna mention right now is that from next week on, the episode order is going to be pretty predictable - the locations that are left will be visited in the same order as canon, meaning London is next week. Then Greece, then Sweden, and the rest of the season from there. Sorry if I ruined the suspense, but I jsut figured I'd let you know to stop expecting Shuffled locations - they were really fun while they lasted, but from here on out I'm happy with what canon has given me to work with.

Let me know what you think, and I'll see you all next week!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (17th Place)

Beardo - (16th Place)

Lightning - (15th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (14th Place)

Geoff - (13th Place)

Scott - (12th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (11th Place)

Sierra - (10th Place)

DJ - (9th Place)


	15. Chapter 15 - I See London

**Author's Note**

And here we are, the much-awaited London episode! It's a thrilling one to be sure, but as always there's some thing to get out of the way beforehand.

First, for those who like to know, next week's chapter is going fairly well although, like so many this season, it hit a bit of a delay due to the musical number - which is complete, meaning the chapter should get finished without incident on Saturday. As I mentioned last week, it's gonna be the Greece episode.

From there, we move on to the reviews:

 **Animation Adventures:** Thanks! I'm glad I went with the team swap, it's really shaken things up and allowed for two interesting team dynamics to develop. Likewise with the Shuffled locations, moving the episodes around helped me get the right flow I wanted for the plot. And as for what happens in London...well, just read on and find out.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Happy to hear you support the team switch. As for what would have happened had I switched episodes around in Island or Action (well, more than I technically did in Island anyway)...well, who knows. It would've no doubt justified a different elimination order. The peanuts being phased wasn't something I even thought about; since I straight-up copy what the canon does for some scenes such as the eliminations, there was never a question of me not doing it. Other than that...glad to know you're on your toes wondering who will go next.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Hah, glad to see a fan of my portrayal of DJ; he's kind of an underutilized character in canon. And yeah, the team mix-up is a little late all things considered, but honestly it's only just at the start of the second half and it was really needed. The merge itself will be after the third Aftermath as in canon. Glad you liked the song so much!

 **DSX62415:** Fair enough, fair enough.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Yup, and Sammy and Dawn are dating each other as well. It's a shame you didn't see it coming, since it was what I had planned on all along.

 **ferguson97:** Hahaha, I'm glad you liked their misunderstanding, the exact lines of that scene took some time to figure out. Glad you liked a few of Sugar's other lines too, as well as her in general.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Not technically, no. A harem would imply that Sammy and Dawn are only dating DJ, which isn't the case since the girls are dating each other. And anyway calling it a harem would still be kind of disrespectful, I think. The three of them are polyamorous - capable of and willing to be in love and dating more than one person at a time, with their partners' consent of course.

 **bruno14:** I'm glad you liked it! Nice to hear you like Ezekiel as well. And yeah, as much as I love Dawn/DJ/Sammy they have taken up a lot of screentime over these past three seasons so its time for them to step aside.

 **Guest #1:** That so.

 **FOWLKON:** Haha, yeah, pretty much! Now that the series' main love triangle has resolved itself, nothing left but to read and watch what the rest of the cast will do. And yeah, like I said in last week's Post Script, from Sweden on the episodes will proceed in canon order. As for Blaineley, sorry, but she's almost certainly going to appear. If only because I've already written the Shuffled version of Blainerific.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Glad to hear your thoughts on the love triangle finally resolving. You're right in that a lot of reviewers did seem to see it coming, though some did not which is to be expected since an 'everybody wins' love triangle solution isn't nearly as common as it ought to be. Glad you're loving the mixed-up teams and Sugar's role in the new Team Victory, having her as the main villain this season has been a blast and it makes me happy knowing that so many of my readers are enjoying her. You're right that Shawn's enjoyment of Australia was a deliberate shout-out to his canon relationship with Jasmine, although I won't spoil when the girl herself will show up in the series. The predictions are, as I always say, interesting to read, and I'm looking forward to seeing if anything changes after this week's episode.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Haha, it really makes me smile seeing how much you loved the teams getting mixed-up. And no problem being happy that DJ's gone, I know that not everyone gets excited about the same relationships as me. As for All-Stars...well, I'll certainly do my best with the season. I've already gotten a lot planned out, though it is admittedly dependent on who I ultimately decide on for the cast.

 **I. M. Poik:** Glad you liked the teams getting mixed-up, as well as the promise of the restored canon episode order. And I'm honestly not surprised you're happy to see DJ gone, I know you don't like him and I've made peace with it. I'm glad you stuck through it until the end. And as for what happens next...well, you'll just have to wait and see!

 **aloasa:** Yup, I had it planned from early on that Alejandro and Ella were going to assist with Dawn's revelation-by-song, and that Ella would also have a hand in finally getting Dawn to open up. Though yeah, like you said, it was a no-brainer to eliminate DJ afterwards. Glad you liked last week's song and I hope I can keep up the quality through the rest of the season, and as I mentioned in the Post Script last week it's pretty much the canon episode order from here on out - London this week, Greece next week, then Sweden and onward as canon.

 **OMAC001:** Yup, Sugar got another notch under her villain's belt. How long it'll take the other to catch on, though...is something I'll be keeping a secret.

 **CVluvFoxy:** And here we go again on another Friday for me. And as I've said a lot so far, I'm happy you liked the team mix-up. Sugar's gotten some new allies for now, though what that means in the long run has yet to be seen especially with Tyler and Ella having more opportunity to interact, as you said. As for returnees...well as I've said, the current plan is to still have Blaineley come back at Niagara Falls. As for this episode...

 **Knifez:** Always good to know I've subverted your expectations in a good way though the locations, at least, will be predictable from here on out. No problem if you're not the biggest fan of my love triangle; I know that not everybody likes the lovey-dovey pairings as much as I do. As for the reward-elimination pattern...well, it's not quite the same as canon, though I won't say how. The ones in the final quarter will be the same as canon, though, if only because I don't want more than four people on Easter Island or less than four in Drumheller. That aside, I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the season!

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** To be fair, the sky isn't the limit for any fandom, though I don't know how common it is for polyamorous pairings to actually be treated respectfully with respect to everyone involved. Momma DJ's reaction will probably be in the next Aftermath if I can remember and am able to work it in, and once again I'm glad to hear a long-time reader enjoyed the twist with the teams I decided to add. As for what'll happen in London this week...well stay tuned to find out. Oh, and as you may have seen in my review, I loved your new project!

 **The Prime Writer:** Haha, no worries, I've procrastinated on reviews plenty of times myself so I won't get mad if someone does it to me. Glad you've liked what's happened since the last Aftermath, especially the Area 51 episode even if it was Sierra who got the boot. Scarlett's attack was just something I had planned there anyway, and her stowing away in secret was just a later addition to the subplot to help build suspense and even though it only lasted a short time I'm glad I did it. Glad you're liking the direction Ella and Alejandro are taking with respect to one another too, though I won't say what the future holds for them. Glad you liked Dawn's reappearance as well, and the resolution of her relationship with DJ and Sammy. You're right that it's disappointing there's never been an explicit gay or lesbian or bisexual relationship (or even character) in canon...I understand why Fresh is reluctant to do one at this point, but it's still something that really needs to be done, especially in a series like Total Drama. I'm glad I was able to at least make up for it a little bit in the Shuffled series.

 **Star Saber21:** I'm glad I was able to surprise you then! And yeah, DJ's far from a loser, his place in the competition notwithstanding. And yeah, Ella's seen the first two seasons...but you know, you can't always trust everything that's presented as truth in an edited reality show.

 **Guest #2:** I'm pretty sure you're reacting to the gay couple I included in Geoff's Drop of Shame, but nevertheless homophobes like you can piss right on off.

 **wifishark:** Well, it was a pretty natural solution to both simplify and shake things up, though the actual mix-up itself was, I think, harder to predict. And yeah, Shawn's the last remaining member of his team while he was the first one out from his team last season...not that I even paid attention to that when deciding the elimination order. And technically, he was the last remaining member of his team in season one as well.

And that's the reviews for the week! As always, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next.

The teams have been mixed-up, so here's a reminder of where everyone is currently at:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Tyler, Ella, Sugar

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Dawn, Shawn

Get ready, dear reader, because someone's on the loose again. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 15 – I See London...**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" the host began as the plane icon was shown flying towards and over Australia on the season's world map. " _Australia_!" he said in an attempted accent as the scene panned across the Outback. "It will amaze you! If it doesn't kill you first." DJ was shown riding his emu up to Ella as she sang, then Alejandro thrust an angry dingo into Tyler's arms as he ran towards the edge of Hanging Rock.

"Here, the teams were mixed up a little placing DJ, Ella, and Sugar on the new Team Victory," the gentle giant raised an eyebrow and the pageant queen threw an arm around the singer as they walked over to Tyler and Ezekiel. "And _Shawn_ on Team Universe," the host added over shots of the survivalist trading barbs with the charmer on the plane then following after his new teammates on emu-back.

"Sugar acted fast, roping Tyler and Ezekiel into an alliance to get out DJ," Chris said over a pair of clips, the first showing Sugar talking to the two boys as they rode through the Outback and the second showing their hushed discussion on top of Hanging Rock. "DJ, meanwhile, got a little bit _distracted_ as Dawn finally confessed her love for him and Samey." A few clips of the previous episode's musical number as well as the trio's embrace afterward were shown next.

"Ella started to notice the feud between Tyler and Alejandro," Ella was shown looking troubled as she spoke to each boy in turn, "while _Alejandro_ tried to keep his alliance with _Samey_." The charmer and cheerleader were shown conversing as they wrangled their emus, Dawn watching them with an inquisitive expression.

"In the end, DJ made the mistake of thinking his teammates were going after Ella, and took the Drop of Shame himself instead," Chris finished over shots of DJ talking to Ella in the plane, both talking to Sugar, and lastly the gentle giant jumping out of the plane.

"Only eight remain," the host said, holding up the same number of fingers as the scene flashed to the cockpit. "Who will get the boot next? Find out now, on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" As the shot zoomed out, a skeleton in a bowler, scarf, and boots floated by with an open umbrella in one hand and a medicine bag in the other.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened at night once again, the plane flying off to the left before the camera cut inside to economy class. A pan across the cabin revealed the four members of the new Team Victory – Ella, Sugar, Tyler, and Ezekiel – seated against the right wall, while the new Team Universe – Shawn, Dawn, Sammy, and Alejandro – sat opposite to them.

"So why exactly are we back here again?" Shawn asked. "We _won_ last time."

"Yeah, but Chris said he needed first class fer some _special guest_ , eh," Ezekiel answered as the camera moved back across the room. "I bet he musta picked 'em up the last time we refueled."

"Man, I wonder what kinda special guest it is?" Sugar pondered. "I hope it's somethin' awesome, like a wizard or a magician."

"I dunno," Tyler told her, "I'm guessing it's gonna be something to do with our next challenge. Maybe it'll be another one of Chris' relatives, like in Newfoundland."

"That makes a lotta sense, eh," Ezekiel nodded. "Chris is too cheap to hire someone else. I just hope we do as good this time as we did in Newfoundland."

"Totally," Tyler said, casting a glance to the side – the camera panned left, showing Ella sleeping soundly on the bench. "I really wanna impress Ella by winning this time," the jock added in a whisper to Ezekiel, shielding his mouth with his hand.

Sugar sniffed in disapproval. "Hmmph, don't know why you'd wanna," she muttered just loud enough for the boys to hear.

"Uhh, what do you mean?" Tyler asked in confusion.

"Well...I wasn't gonna say nothin' on account of you bein' sweet on her," Sugar said with faux hesitance, "but that Ella is _bad news_." The brows of both Tyler and Ezekiel shot up in shock, and Sugar leaned closer to whisper behind her hand. "I've seen her type before. They act all sweet an' nice on the outside, but inside they're all _rotten_."

"What, like Alejandro?" Ezekiel asked in disbelief.

" _Exactly_!" Sugar said with bright eyes.

'No _way_ ," Tyler told her, brow furrowed and arms crossed. "Ella's not like that at all!"

Sugar shook her head in disappointment. "I'm sorry, but I've been around her longer than you have. I know what she's really like. Take it from me, she's just gonna try and use you then throw you away like a bucket of slop. We gotta vote her out before it's too late!"

"I don't believe you," Tyler said, turning his back on the pageant queen.

"Yeah, that's a little farfetched, eh," Ezekiel added.

Sugar sighed. "Fine, I can see you aren't ready to believe me. But just know that I'm tryin' to look out for the two of y'all in the same way nobody ever looked out for me." The sad look she gave Ezekiel made him gulp nervously.

A tense tune played as the scene panned across the room to Team Universe. Sammy and Dawn were sitting side-by-side, holding hands and leaning against each other.

"So...any ideas what we'll have to do this time?" Sammy asked her girlfriend.

"Not really," Dawn told her. "I was going to try meditating on the plane again, but," she blushed, "well, we got a little _distracted_..."

"Hah, yeah," Sammy said, also blushing. "Well, I'm sure we'll find out soon. Chris will probably just 'accidentally' drop us out of the plane again."

Dawn frowned. "I hope not. Did he really do it that often while I was away?"

Sammy thought for a moment. "...well, maybe not drop _specifically_. Turns out there's a lot of ways to be forced off a plane." Sensing Dawn's discomfort, she added "I mean, it's not like DJ and I were ever _hurt_ or anything. It wasn't _bad_ , it was just, you know, _Chris_."

"Yes, right," Dawn said quickly, forcing herself to calm down. "The two of you were quite able to handle yourselves in the dangerous situations I only just realized I left you in."

Sammy smiled softly and kissed the mystic on the cheek. "Thanks, but try not to worry about what could've happened. It's all in the past now."

Dawn took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, you're right."

The music turned plodding as the camera panned to the left a little ways, showing Alejandro leaning back with a thoughtful expression while Shawn chowed down on a jar of vegemite.

"Amigo," Alejandro whispered to his teammate, "with Sammy and Dawn closer than ever, perhaps it would be a good idea if we teamed up to protect ourselves."

Shawn lowered his jar and raised an eyebrow. "Uhh, no? I don't really like you. Besides, aren't you in an alliance with Sammy?"

xxx

"I had forgotten that DJ might tell the other members of Team Chris Is Really Mean about that," Alejandro mused in the restroom confessional. "No matter," he quickly waved his hand. "With Ella temporarily out of the picture, I need to be more... _flexible_ with my alliances. I had hoped Shawn would understand the situation we're both in, but if he's not willing to work with me then it's his poor choice."

xxx

"Very well," Alejandro told the survivalist, a hint of regret in his voice as he stood up. "If you won't be persuaded, then I'll leave you to your disgusting snack spread."

"Hey," Shawn said, taking mild offense as the charmer walked away, "this stuff is pretty good y'know!"

/

The footage skipped forward a little ways to Alejandro walking through the plane's main hallway with an annoyed expression. The camera followed him past one set of double doors and towards the cracked-open door leading into first class as Chris' voice came through, and a very lowkey dramatic tune was beginning in the background.

"She's an _animal_! She'll take them out like a lion preyin' on a pack of chubby, asthmatic _gazelles_!" Though the host remained unseen, Alejandro quickly realized where it was coming from and after looking around with widened eyes he sneakily peaked into the room.

"But what if she _takes them out_ takes them out?" Chef asked over a close-up of Alejandro's face sliding into view through the half-open door.

The viewpoint shifted around to show the first class compartment where Chris and Chef were standing before a tall figure in a cloak and top hat that was, most ominously, wielding a long dagger. "Legal says we're clear," Chris told his companion, "and imagine the _ratings_! That dip will score major hits online."

In his shock Alejandro leaned forward just enough to cause the door to squeak, then gasped. "Did you hear something?" Chris asked as the dramatic music rapidly spiked into something more dangerous, and the cloaked figure turned around, its face shrouded in shadow.

Alejandro quickly ducked out of sight, but gasped when he looked to the open door on his right – the mystery figure was standing right there, and with a peak in the music and a blood-curdling scream from Alejandro the scene went dark...

/

A different sort of dramatic tune started playing as the view switched to the series' world map, the plane icon spiraling its way across Europe towards the British Isles. "Attention helpless competitors!" Chris announced over the plane's PA system as the scene moved to the cockpit. "We've been denied permission to land, so, you're gonna have to jump."

The scene moved again to the host's voice coming out of a loudspeaker in economy class, the contestants still in it immediately voicing their objections. "Aaaand, Chef _may_ have miscounted parachutes," Chris added.

"...I'm a _cook_ ," Chef said back in the cockpit, "not a mathematician!"

"So, you might wanna light a fire under your butts and grab one before they're gone," Chris told the contestants.

/

The scene skipped ahead again, now in the elimination chamber as Team Victory and Shawn lined up in front of the open door with parachutes on their backs. Tyler was in front and jumped out with a whoop, and the shot cut to a close-up of the lone remaining parachute.

"I guess we're gonna have to share it," Sammy told Dawn as the two looked at it warily.

/

A flash skipped the footage ahead once more to a shot of the jumbo jet flying high above, the screams of Sammy and Dawn rapidly approaching the camera as they fell, Dawn on Sammy's back with her arms tight around her girlfriend's waist.

/

A quick riff of "God Save the Queen" played over a shot of the Tower Bridge where a few blurry figures stood next to a red double-decker bus. A parachute pack was shown being thrown into a pile of them, and the four members of Team Victory were shown standing nearby.

"Oh, I've always _dreamed_ of coming to London!" Ella gushed. "I wonder if we'll get to see the Queen?" she added, looking around excitedly.

"Yeah, uh, I hope we do," Tyler told her with a smile that she didn't notice.

"Look out below!" Shawn suddenly cried, the camera quick-panning up to him falling rapidly...only for his parachute to get stuck on a flagpole on top of the bridge. "Aaaand this is why you don't parachute onto a bridge," he deadpanned to the camera.

A whistling sound caught his attention and the camera moved to the right, the logo of Team Universe appearing in the corner with a ding just as Sammy and Dawn plummeted past with a scream and half-opened parachute.

They landed, quite painfully, on top of the double-decker bus. "See?" Sammy said weakly, lifting her head just a little. "Not so bad!"

Dawn's reply was too muffled to be understood.

/

The scene moved inside the bus, a pan up the aisle showing Dawn and Sammy sitting together in the back nursing their injuries; Shawn alone on the seat in front of them; Ezekiel and Tyler in front of him; and Sugar and Ella in front. Chris was standing by the last row of seats separating the girls from Chef in the sealed-off driver's seat.

"Wait, where's Alejandro?" Ella asked, looking around in confusion and concern.

"Yes, where _is_ he?" Chris repeated with false ignorance. "The answer in a sec. But first," he raised a finger and smiled, "GUN IT CHEF!"

At the host's shouted command, Chef slammed down on the gas and the bus took off with the squeal of tires.

"London," Chris began happily, speaking into a microphone hooked up to the bus' intercom. "Home to loads of _wicked_ stuff." The bus hit a bump, and Ella looked back worriedly. "Big Ben, the London Eye," the host continued, counting off on his fingers, "the sandwich stuffed with french fries known as the 'Chip Butty'."

"Ooh, where can I get one of those?" Sugar asked eagerly.

"London's also home to _Scotland Yard_ ," the host continued, "the world's _biggest_ crime-busting out fit. But there was one case even Scotland Yard couldn't crack," he frowned. "Jack the _Ripper_!" A dramatic riff played and the camera moved in for a close-up as Chris said the same, a dark grin on his face.

Team Victory gasped. "The wacko serial killer who terrorized Victorian London," Chris explained, taking out a painting that looked identical to the mystery figure who'd been on the plane. "Today, you'll be tracking that bad boy down. But be _caaarefuuull_ ," he said slyly, "Jack's also hunting _you_! That's why Team Universe is now short-handed."

"Oh em gee," Sammy gasped, "the Ripper got _Alejandro_? But...but he's _Alejandro_!"

"Next stop," Chris announced cheerfully, "Tower of London!"

"Oh no, do you think Alejandro's okay?" Ella asked her teammates with barely-contained panic. "The Ripper wouldn't...wouldn't _do_ anything to him, would he?"

"He'll be _fine_ ," Sugar said dismissively. "More importantly, him bein' gone means we got the advantage!"

"Oh yeah, definitely eh," Ezekiel added with a nod and a grin. "He's like their strongest player. Err, not like we couldn't beat him if he were still here though."

"Yeah, it's almost like a blessin' that he was taken out first!" Sugar said happily.

"Excuse me," Ella said in shock and offense, "I know this is a competition, but don't any of you care that Alejandro could be seriously hurt? We should try to find him!"

"Pfft, let _them_ handle it," Sugar said with a hand-wave and a thumb towards Team Universe. "We're gonna have enough trouble protectin' our _own_ hides from the Ripper."

With an anxious look between Ezekiel's bland smile and Ella's hurt expression, Tyler gulped. "Uhh, maybe we could at least keep an eye out for him?" he offered nervously, earning a smile from Ella and odd looks from Sugar and Ezekiel.

/

A flash skipped the footage ahead to a long-distance shot of the Tower of London, the contestants already assembled outside it. "Your challenge," Chris began as the camera zoomed in on the top of the tower before panning down, "is to follow a series of clues through the tower complex," the shot reached ground-level where a pair of elderly white guardsmen were standing behind the host, "all the way to the Ripper's secret lair."

"Bag the criminal mastermind before he gets you," he added while pulling out a pair of sacks from behind his back, "and you win. Your first clue will be found during the changing of the guard," he explained with an odd grin. "And when I say _change_ , I mean _change the guards_." His expression became more devious as he motioned to the men that were silently flanking him. "Your clue is hidden in his uniform, so, one of you has to strip him down to his gitch, until you find it." He smiled, and it gleamed.

The contestants gasped. "Whoa, strip a _dude_?" Tyler repeated in disbelief. "I'm out!"

"Up to you, bro," Chris told him. "Million bucks...that's all I'm sayin'. And while you're at it..." He grinned cheekily and pointed to an empty space over his left shoulder where the music note icon spun into view with its usual ding. As usual, Ella was the only one who didn't immediately groan though she did blush in embarrassment.

~/~

[A few drumbeats opened psychedelic rock tune, the scene itself starting with a close-up of Team Universe's guard.]

" _It's weird how they just stand there, and don't ever move_ ;"

[Sammy began the lyrics, the camera pulling back a little as she approached the elderly man and hesitantly poked him in the shoulder.]

" _And having to strip him down won't make it improve_!"

[The cheerleader continued, giving the guard a wary and scrunched-up look before taking a step back.]

" _Well maybe, if we ask him, he'll do it for u-u-us_?"

[Dawn suggested, the camera panning slightly to the right as she stepped up to the guard, gave him a scrutinizing look, then looked to the left where Sammy stood off-screen.]

" _I don't think he'll just strip himself_!"

[Sammy sang to her girlfriend, the camera panning back and pulling out just enough to get both girls in the shot again.]

" _Well somebody must._ "

[Dawn answered, hands clasped behind her back as she gave her girlfriend a knowing look.]

" _It's not, proper for me, to even peek_!"

[Ella lamented, the shot cutting first to the guard assigned to Team Victory and then to the singer, who was covering her eyes in embarrassment.]

" _And I'm too much of a lady, too_..."

[Sugar added, walking to the left past Ella to give the boys a stern look.]

"Back me up here, Zeke!"

[Tyler spoke, elbowing his friend in the side as they caught Sugar's forceful look.]

" _Well, I got this condition...err, make that allergy_?"

[The homeschooler offered with a nervous grin, mashing his pointer fingers together as he sang.]

"Aww man, not you too! So I have to do it? _Weak_."

[Tyler lamented, smacking himself in the forehead.]

" _If we're gonna find that clue_ ,"

[Ezekiel sang as Sugar and Ella closed around Tyler.]

" _There's only one thing to do~oo~o_ ,"

[Ella added with a hint of regret, the jock spinning around to face her.]

" _Force someone to strip him down_ ,"

[Sugar finished, forcefully spinning Tyler back around to face the guard.]

" _And Tyler, yeah, that's you_!"

[Ezekiel, Sugar, and Ella sang together in an unusual harmony, the line finishing with Sugar shoving Tyler over to their team's guard. "Jeez, fine!" the jock grunted as he stumbled over to the man.]

" _If we're gonna find that clue_ ,"

[Sammy echoed, playing rock-paper-scissors with Dawn and tying.]

" _There's only one thing to do~oo~o_!"

[Dawn added to another tied round of their game.]

" _Force someone to strip him down_ ,"

[Sammy sang next.]

" _And sorry, Shawn, that's you_!"

[Sammy and Dawn sang as one, ending their game and pointing at the camera; the perspective flipped to show Shawn raising an eyebrow, then hanging his head and sighing.]

"Well, it could be worse, _at least this guy's not dead_ ,"

[Shawn went as he walked over to the guard and peered closely at him, speaking the first half of his line but singing the second.]

"Dude, don't joke about that, it's gonna mess with my head,"

[Tyler scolded in spoken word, the camera zooming out to show both boys warily standing by their guards.]

" _Well we're gonna find that clue_ ,"

[Ezekiel sang, still standing with his teammates as he and Sugar watched Tyler get to work off-screen while Ella bashfully averted her gaze.]

" _We're doing what Chris proposed_ ,"

[Ella sang next in a tone that seemed meant to reassure herself.]

" _Force someone to strip him down_ ,"

[Sugar added, grinning as the guard's hat flew off and landed on her head.]

" _'Cause if we don't, we're hosed_!"

[The two girls of Team Victory sang as one.]

" _Totally ho-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-osed_!"

[Ella finished, clasping her hands together and lifting up on one foot as she slowly drew out the last word, the camera panning up to the moon shining over the tower.]

~/~

A flash took the scene ahead again, now showing Shawn quickly tearing the clothes from his guard's body and throwing them back over his shoulders to his teammates. The shot zoomed out to show Dawn inspecting an ornate neck-ring while Sammy picked up the guard's hat, gasping when she pulled a note from it.

"We got it!" she exclaimed, immediately gaining the attention of her teammates.

"Well that was easy," Shawn commented as he and Dawn moved to Sammy's sides. "What's it say?"

"Pulled taut atop a southern spire," Sammy whispered to them. The three shared a confused look as a light but mysterious tune played and the scene flashed away.

/

"We're at the top of the southern tower," Sammy cried as she, Shawn, and Dawn ran into a room lined with a variety of medieval-looking torture devices. "This has to be it!"

"Oh my, this place is absolutely _filled_ with negative energy!" Dawn remarked in shock as she looked around, the three having stopped at a large table with cranks on either end. "What happened here?"

"A heck of a lotta stuff you kids don't wanna know about," Chef answered, walking up wearing an executioner's hood and carrying a large axe. "What matters right now is this medieval torture rack," he added with a motion to the large table. "Clue's inside. Tie someone on and _stretch_ ," he explained with a dark cackle.

Shawn gulped, and looked at his teammates – all three of their eyes were wide. "So, uhh, I hate to ask this, but does anybody _want_ to get strapped to that thing?"

"W-well, I don't _want_ to," Sammy offered, "but I'll do it since we have to."

Dawn gasped. "But you can't! It's _torture_!"

"I know," Sammy told her, "but since I'm the tallest it'll hurt me the least, right?"

The moonchild murmured in concern, causing Shawn to cast a quick and nervous glance between the two girls. "Look," he told Dawn, "one of us has to do this, and Sammy's tough enough to take it. Besides, I'll be pulling the crank, and I'm not gonna let her get hurt."

"Right," Sammy added, "so you don't have to worry about me."

Dawn took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay," she told them. "You two do the challenge, and I'll...I'll go outside and get some fresher air. This place is too _dark_ for me," she motioned to the room at large, her tone suggesting she didn't mean the light level, "and anyway one of us should stand guard in case the Ripper comes."

"Good call," Shawn nodded. "Yell if you spot him."

"And please don't worry about me," Sammy said, hugging the girl from behind. "I'll be fine, trust me!" She kissed her girlfriend's cheek, and Dawn smiled lightly.

/

The scene moved back to Team Victory, their guard now without most of his uniform. "What do you think you're doin'?" Sugar asked indignantly, looking down with her hands on her hips an the guard's hat on her head. "Are you _tryin_ ' to make us lose?"

The shot pulled out to reveal Tyler kneeling on the ground, trying to pull the guard's red pantyhose down with only his teeth. "No!" he answered through his bite. "You try takin' off a dude's pantyhose with your teeth!"

"Err, I don't think you hafta use yer _teeth_ , eh," Ezekiel told him, walking up from behind.

Tyler immediately spat out the guard's pantyhose. "Dude, why didn't you tell me that like five minutes ago?!" he asked angrily.

"Sorry, eh," Ezekiel shrugged sheepishly, "I thought you were usin' some kinda special _technique_ or somethin'."

"And _I_ thought you were just havin' a laugh," Sugar told him.

"Sorry," Ella said with concern in her voice, walking backwards up to them with her hand clasped firmly over her eyes, "but are you saying that Tyler wasn't going about things the right way?"

"I'm really sorry," Tyler said with a pained expression.

"Don't worry," Ella told him with a soft smile that wasn't facing him, "I'm sure you put forth a... _spirited_ effort."

Tyler hung his head sadly.

/

A flash, and the focus moved to Dawn hugging her knees at the bottom of a flight of stairs in a small room lined with paintings. She sighed, then looked up as a shadow as ominous as the background music moved over her. "Oh my," she said as the camera pulled back to show the dagger-wielding Ripper standing at the end of the room. "I _recognize_ that aura! Why, you must be-"

Before she could finish the cloaked figure dropped its weapon and pounced, the scene cutting to the outside of the Tower as Dawn's scream filled the air.

The pounding dramatic music abruptly faded into a hollower sound as the shot zoomed in on an open doorway. "And then there were six," Chris said from off-screen as the Ripper dragged a bulky sack out of the building. It stopped as the host suddenly popped up into view, saying "Will _anybody_ survive the Ripper? And, this show?"

"I didn't even get to warn my teammates!" Dawn lamented from within the sack, causing Chris to momentarily flinch at the suddenness of it.

"Come back after the break," he quickly recovered into a smirk at the camera. "When we'll try and answer at _least_ a couple of these questions." A few more dramatic notes sounded as the scene faded out.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

A plodding and annoyed tune played as the camera panned up the hairy legs of the guard assigned to Team Victory, past his Union Jack boxers and his bare chest to his unflinching mustached face.

The only other things left were his socks, gloves, and a single boot which Tyler was currently trying to remove. "Come on, this _has_ to be it!" he said in annoyance as he tried to pry the boot free. "There's nothing left!"

"Man, why did the others get to have their clue in an _easy_ spot?" Sugar said, tapping the guard's hat then holding it up and looking into it from below. "It just ain't fair!"

"Well, I suppose we _could_ have checked his boots sooner," Ella suggested, still determinedly not looking at the nearly-naked guard.

"Don't remind me," Tyler groaned just before he finally pulled the stubborn boot off and let the guard lower his foot back down. "Hey, I got it!" he said, grinning excitedly as he pulled a note out of the boot, then cringing at the smell that came along with it.

"Sweet, eh!" Ezekiel said, swiping the note and opening it as the rest of the team, Ella included, crowded around to read over his shoulders.

/

A half-muffled scream echoed through the torture chamber as a rat scurried up a chain to watch, and the camera panned down to Shawn hesitantly turning the crank and stretching Sammy even further.

"Okay, you got this," he reassured her. "It's probably just a little bit more, so hang in there." He turned the crank a little bit more, and Sammy had to bite her lip to stifle the whimper. "See? You're _strong_. This rack won't beat you."

"Right. Thanks," Sammy breathed.

A couple second passed as Shawn slowly continued to turn the crank, and Sammy seemed to be doing well with the pain. "Uhh...this _probably_ isn't the best time to ask, but we _are_ voting out Alejandro the next time we lose, right? Because I know you have your alliance with him, but he _did_ ask me if I wanted to team up against you and Dawn."

Sammy groaned lightly. "Yeah, that sounds like something he'd do...," she said. "But still...even though it's Al I don't know if _I_ wanna be the one who breaks the alliance. Breaking my word like that seems like something my _sister_ would do, and the last thing I want is for people to say that I'm, like, as bad as her or something."

"That...makes sense, I guess," Shawn admitted, "but it's _really_ not comforting right now." He turned the crank again, and sharply enough to elicit a yelp from Sammy. "Oops! Sorry!" the survivalist said sincerely.

"Look, I don't _want_ to vote you out," Sammy told him, "which is why I'm not planning on us losing any time soon. But if we do, I _know_ Dawn will vote for Alejandro too, so at least you'll have a chance to win a tiebreaker."

Shawn sighed. "I guess that's something."

xxx

"I know I should probably be madder at her," he admitted in the restroom confessional, "but to be honest even if she _did_ vote for Alejandro I'd _still_ be gone if we lose again before the merge." He groaned, pinched the bridge of his nose, then spread his arms wide. "What else am I supposed to _do_ here, side with Alejandro and take out one of the girls then hope they don't hate me for it?"

xxx

"I _do_ feel really bad about what I might have to do to Shawn," Sammy said in the next confessional. "It's not _his_ fault Chris mixed the teams up like this. And to be honest, I'm not even sure if keeping my promise really _is_ the right thing to do, especially if it means voting off a friend!" She sighed sadly, then gave the camera a halfhearted smile. "Well, here's hoping we don't lose, I guess."

xxx

A dramatic riff played as the scene moved to a torture chamber similar to but distinct from the one that Sammy and Shawn were using.

"Okay, so which one of us is gonna get _stretched_?" Sugar asked her teammates as they looked around the chamber, Ezekiel and especially Ella looking nervous about it.

"I'll do it," Tyler volunteered. "Check it, I'm flexible to the _extreme_." To the shock of his teammates he hopped up and somehow threw both legs over his shoulders, then landed on his open palms. "Sweaty moksha yoga," he explained, "hoo-hoo!" With an excited whoop, he dashed off-screen towards the torture rack leaving his teammates to stare in surprise.

"Well, okay then!" Sugar chuckled. "That sure was easy." She went after the jock with a smile on her face, Ella and Ezekiel following shortly after.

"You don't have to do this just to make up for what happened with the first clue," Ella said with an expression of concern on her face as she hurried over to the rack. "None of us are holding it against you," she told him as he stretched and limbered up.

"I know," Tyler replied as he extended his arms and twisted his back until it cracked. "But I _want_ to make up for that. Besides, I can't let any of _you_ do it. That wouldn't be sportsmanlike _or_ gentlemanly."

"Oh, well, thank you for doing this for us," Ella told him with a sweet smile as Sugar and Ezekiel strapped him in. "I suppose it's too much to ask for it to be _painless_ , but I hope it's not _too_ painful at least."

"Don't worry about me," Tyler told her with a cocky grin, "I can handle pain."

Sugar turned the crank hard, causing the jock to yelp and scream. He saw Ella's fearful flinch, however, and quickly forced himself to smile. "Hah, took me by surprise is all," he told her through the pain. "But like I said, don't worry about me. From here on out I'll do this _silent_ , sweaty yoga-ish monk dude style."

Ella still looked uncertain as Sugar turned the crank again, eliciting a mostly-muffled scream from Tyler.

/

Meanwhile, Sammy was also screaming in pain as the rack in another part of the Tower stretched her. " _Please_ tell me that we're done," she whimpered, "I don't know how much more of this I can take!"

"Just hang in there, it can't be long now," Shawn told her nervously, turning the crank again and eliciting another scream. It also, however, caused something in the rack's machinery to click and the camera panned to a box atop the headward crank to open, revealing an envelope.

"There it is!" Shawn said excitedly, grabbing it and opening it up. "If your teammates can still use her feet," he read, "bring her down for something to eat." He raised an eyebrow. "So what, like some kind of banquet hall or something?"

"We'll just have to find it," Sammy told him. "And can you let me out now?"

"Oh! Sorry!" Shawn said sheepishly, quickly undoing the shackles on her wrists.

The cheerleader immediately sat up and undid the shackles on her legs. "Oh em gee, it is _such_ a relief to be done with this thing," she said as she swung her legs around and stood up, her spine cracking painfully the moment she raised her arms to limber up.

"You okay?" Shawn asked, still wincing.

"Yeah, just gimme a moment," Sammy said with wide eyes, seemingly frozen in her pose. "Let's go find Dawn," she said after a second, leading Shawn to give her a wary look but towards the exit anyway, Sammy hopping along on one foot after him.

/

"Dawn?" Sammy called out, concern in her voice as she and Shawn stepped into the painting-lined room at the bottom of the stairs. "Where are you, we have the second clue!" The music once again took a tensely dramatic turn.

"Oh man," Shawn said in distress as he knelt down and examined a gash in the hardwood floor, "I hate to say it, but I think Dawn was attacked by the Ripper!"

" _What_?!" Sammy said in shock and horror, darting over to her teammate's side. "Why do you think that?"

"Look," the survivalist told her, holding up a few strands of long, pale blonde hair. "It looks like there was some kinda struggle here, and _Dawn_ was on the losing end of it."

"Oh no!" Sammy moaned as a few deeper notes played.

/

The scene changed unceremoniously back to Tyler's pained grimace as his teammates stretched him on the rack. The camera panned to the right to show Ezekiel leaning on the table and watching his friend. "I think I read somewhere that some monks can breathe through their toenails, eh," he said. "I wonder if that's what Tyler's doin'?"

The only answer he got was a click from the box at the head of the torture rack, its panel sliding open to reveal the note inside. "The clue!" Sugar exclaimed excitedly. "Give it here!" She dashed forward and swiped it, her brow furrowing as she looked it over.

" _Finally_ ," Ella said as she and Ezekiel unshackled Tyler. "Let's read it and get out of here. Between Alejandro going missing, the stripping, and this torture, this challenge has been just _dreadful_. We should get it over with as quickly as possible."

"Well then, we gotta get our butts down to some kinda eatin' place," Sugar said before hustling towards the door.

"Coming, Sugar!" Ella called out, giving Tyler one last concerned look before running off as well.

"C'mon, Zeke, let's go," Tyler said, cracking a few joints as he limbered himself up again.

The homeschooler moved to follow, then looked down and stopped in place – the shot moved downwards to reveal that the laces of his left boot had come undone. "Yo, I'll be there in a minute," he called out to his teammates, unaware of the ominous shadow that had just fallen on him. "I just gotta tie my laces, eh!"

/

A flash took the scene to the hallway as Tyler caught up with Sugar and Ella. "What're we looking for, some kind of kitchen?" the jock asked.

"I think it'll be a banquet hall, actually," Ella said before looking back over her shoulder and frowning. "Hold on, wasn't Ezekiel right behind you?"

"Huh?" Tyler said, raising an eyebrow before looking back as well. The camera pulled back as all three stopped in their tracks and saw the empty hall behind them, no sign of their fourth teammate anywhere. "Zeke?" the jock said, louder and with alarm in his voice.

"NOOOOOO!"

The cry that answered was loud, terrified, and most definitely Ezekiel's. It had come from back down the hall, and the background music spiked once more as Tyler, Ella, and even Sugar donned panicked expressions. "No! Zeke!" they cried as one.

/

The shot cut to a close-up of an ornate jewelry box sitting on a table along with some steaks, a cake of some kind, and some dinner rolls. "Yup, that's gotta be it," Shawn said as the camera panned up to show him looking in through a window. The viewpoint moved outside as the survivalist turned to his remaining teammate, saying "One of us just has to go in and get it."

"But what about the Ripper?" Sammy asked, completely on edge as she looked around with wide eyes.

"I'll keep watch for him out here," Shawn told her. "You go and get the next clue."

"But-" Sammy tried to say again, whipping around to face him with fear on her face.

"No buts," he told her sternly, holding up the sack they'd been given. "We _have_ to get that clue to win the challenge, and I have a better shot of fending off the Ripper. As long as we're fast, we should be fine."

Sammy gulped. "O-okay..."

/

The scene flashed inside, Sammy frantically rooting through the jewelry case on the table. "No," she said as she causally tossed a gold toothpick over her shoulder. "No," she repeated with a large diamond ring. "No!" she said a third time, tossing away a large teal jewel. "Where _is_ it?"

A low growl from behind her caused her to jump in fright. "Who's there?" she asked, whipping around and brandishing a large, emerald-studded toothbrush like a weapon. The camera quick-panned over to the source of the growling, revealing a pack of six snarling corgis. "Nice doggies," she said nervously, backing up against the table as they slowly moved towards her.

/

"Where _are_ you, Ripper," Shawn muttered as the camera moved back to him, crouching in a bush outside the banquet hall with the sack slung over his shoulder. "I'm ready for you, so just show yourself." Without warning he rolled to the side and out of the bush, and swung the sack around into both hands. "I've trained most of my life to fight the undead," he called out loudly. "I'm not gonna let you beat me just because you're _alive_!"

He suddenly rolled forward again, looking back over his shoulder with a smirk. "Just _try_ and catch me off guard!" he yelled out to the open air.

The background music spiked just then as a long dagger flew down from above Shawn, piercing the sack and pinning it to the ground. "Oh crap," he said with wide eyes, quickly turning around and looking up – the perspective rotated with him, revealing the shadowy form of the Ripper perched atop the ornate lintel over the window.

He opened his mouth to shout, but was cut off by the weight of the Ripper pouncing onto him. The two rolled end-over-end over the grass, ending with the Ripper pinning Shawn to the ground with a hand over the struggling survivalist's mouth.

/

The dramatic music ended abruptly as the camera moved back inside the banquet hall, showing the pack of corgis happily enjoying a few steaks. "Well that was easy," Sammy said with a nervous smile as the shot panned up to her. She turned back to the jewelry case and picked up a fabergé egg; after a quick inspection she realized that it could be opened, and that there was a note inside.

"The clue!" she said excitedly, quickly taking the note out and reading it. "The Ripper's most natural place has two levels inside its space. Go use your sack to bring the guy back, at the red starting line to the race." She blinked, then folded it back up. "Huh, maybe Shawn knows what it means."

She turned and ran out the room, the scene flashing outside as she arrived at the spot where Shawn had been keeping watch. "Oh no," she moaned in horror as she picked up the damaged sack, "not Shawn too! What am I supposed to _do_?!" she cried, gripping her hair in anguish.

/

The footage skipped ahead, showing Tyler leading Sugar and a distraught Ella into the banquet hall. "Okay, this _has_ to be the place," the jock said. "Let's split up and look for the next clue."

"Ooh, I'll check the meal!" Sugar said, eying the food on the table excitedly. Ella wordlessly moved towards another open jewelry case filled with opulent junk, while Tyler tapped his chin then bent over and lifted the tablecloth to look under the table.

Sammy was huddled underneath it, wide-eyed and clutching both her note and the golden toothbrush. "Aah!" she shouted in fear.

"Aah!" Tyler repeated, falling backwards in surprise.

"Sammy?" Ella asked in confusion as she and Sugar bent down to see their former teammate. "What are you doing here?"

"Sorry," Sammy said nervously as she crawled out from under the table. "I was hiding from the Ripper."

The three members of Team Victory gasped. "Oh no! He's not _here_ , is he?" Ella asked, looking around in fear.

"I don't know," Sammy explained, "but I don't wanna find out. I figured I'd hide in here while I tried to figure out the clue, but I really don't know what the point is," she added, the panic rising in her voice. "I mean, he already captured Alejandro, Dawn, _and_ Shawn, and if _they_ couldn't beat him then how am _I_ supposed to?"

"Oh my, that really _is_ distressing," Ella said in concern. "We've lost Ezekiel as well, but I can't _imagine_ what _you_ must be feeling right now."

"Scared, mostly," Sammy told her. "Really... _really_...scared..."

"Oh, well, you're welcome to come with us," Ella offered. "I know we're on different teams now, but keeping safe should be our top priority. Right?" she asked her teammates.

"Right!" Tyler replied emphatically.

Sugar, on the other hand, had been distracted by the jewelry case. "Huh?" she said, looking back over her shoulder. "Oh, yeah, sure she can come with," she finally answered. "But we gotta work out this clue first!" She held up another fabergé egg, a piece of paper sticking out of a crack in it. "The Ripper's natural place...has two levels inside its space," she read. She muttered the next line unintelligibly, then finished with "red startin' line to the race..."

"Yeah, that's the same as my clue," Sammy said. "But I don't know what it means."

"Ain't it that bus we took here?" Sugar said plainly. "It was red and had two levels, so it's gotta be."

Sammy stared at her blankly. "Oh...that was easier than I thought..."

"Well then, time's a wastin'!" Sugar said. "One of us has to win this challenge!" A few dramatic notes played as she ran off, waving for her team to follow; Sammy, however, bit her lip in hesitation.

/

A tense trilling tune started playing as the scene flashed outside the Tower as Sammy walked out an open door, struggling to carry her oddly-squirming sack over her shoulder. "I hope this works," she told herself. "There's no way I can win this if it doesn't..."

A few deep notes were struck as she walked forward, then suddenly paused and stiffened. The camera swung around in front of her as she glanced backwards; the Ripper was standing in the doorway behind her.

"Stay back," she said fearfully, dropping her sack and turning around in one fluid motion. "I'm warning you!"

With dagger in hand, the Ripper took a step forward.

Sammy gulped. "I warned you," she told the shadowy figure, pulling a steak out from behind her back. "Get 'em, doggies!" she exclaimed, throwing the steak into the confused Ripper's hands and opening the sack. The pack of guard corgis immediately jumped out, noticed the Ripper holding the meat, and growled.

The Ripper's eyes narrowed, and the steak was casually thrown aside. The figure advanced on the dogs, and began a low and animalistic growl. The corgis immediately stopped what they were doing, yiped, then turned and fled right past an utterly stunned Sammy.

"Oh eh gee, I'm _toast_ ," Sammy said hopelessly as the Ripper advanced on her.

The camera panned upwards as her shriek filled the air, then back down to Tyler, Ella, and Sugar as they heard it while they ran.

"Well, there goes the competition," Sugar remarked with a half-hidden smile.

"Not again!" Ella said, a horrified look on her face. "I thought she was right behind us!"

"Guess not," Sugar said as the three kept running. "Makes it easier for us, though."

"I don't think it does!" Ella countered, her voice rising with her panic. "The Ripper's taken so _many_ of us, how are we ever going to protect ourselves, much less capture him?" Her terrified expression suddenly faded into dull surprise, and the shot followed her gaze down to see Tyler holding her hand.

"Don't worry," he smiled as the camera panned back up to him, "whatever happens, I _promise_ I'll protect you."

"Oh, thank you," she said with wide-eyed surprise, unable to hide her faint blush.

Sugar rolled her eyes and pursed her lips, then raised her brow in surprise and hope and pointed forward, saying "There's the bus!"

"And there's the Ripper!" Ella shouted, pointing backward even as Tyler led her forward by the hand. "What do we do?"

"You two get to the bus in case there's somethin' there we need," Sugar said. " _I'll_ take care of _him_." She skidded to a halt and turned to face the Ripper.

"Sugar, no! You can't!" Ella said, calling out in anguish.

"We _gotta_!" Tyler told her, practically dragging her as he ran forward now. "Like she said, there's might be something on the bus we can use to stop him!"

Ella bit her lip in silent worry, but turned forward again and ran alongside Tyler, the two still holding hands.

The music turned tense as the camera panned back to Sugar, who was cracking her knuckles and grinning darkly as she and the Ripper approached one another.

"Well then, Mr. Ripper," she taunted confidently, "maybe you beat all the others, but you ain't ever tangoed with _Sugar_ before."

An intense drumming battle tune started playing as the two pounced at one another, Sugar's weight giving her the upperhand and allowing her to pin the Ripper as they hit the ground. The Ripper growled fiercely, however, and managed to rock forward with enough strength to reverse the situation.

"Well ain't _you_ a fighter?" Sugar chuckled darkly.

/

The battle music faded back into a light but intense trill as the scene flashed to the inside of the double-decker bus which Ella and Tyler were now trying to search.

"Oh, I hope Sugar's okay," Ella said, on the verge of tears. "Tonight has been _awful_ , having so many of us get attacked. I just wanna wake up from this _nightmare_."

"Don't worry," Tyler told her as he looked under one of the seats, "it'll be over soon. The dude's _gotta_ be pretty tired by now, so I'm sure Sugar will beat him _easy_. Then we figure out how we're supposed to capture him, and then everything will be fine!"

Ella forced herself to let out her breath and nod. "Yes, you're probably right, I shouldn't worry about-"

A loud and rapidly-approaching cry of "DAAAANG IIIITTT!" was followed by a dull _thud_ that shook the bus causing its occupants to stumble.

" _Sugar_!" Ella cried in shock and horror. The background music rapidly grew louder and more terrifying as she and Tyler gasped, then turned to the front of the bus as the door creaked open and the Ripper stepped inside.

Tyler immediately put himself between the Ripper and Ella, arms spread wide and a look of fierce determination on his face. "Don't move, guy!" he told the shadowy figure. "I'm not afraid of you!"

The Ripper's eyes narrowed, and they held up their gleaming dagger and took a step forward. Tyler didn't flinch, which seemed to surprise the figure. It began to growl, and took another menacing step forward.

"I said, don't _move_!" Tyler yelled, running forward and grabbing the Ripper under the arms. The cloaked figure immediately began to struggle with him, even turning the dagger around and slicing Tyler in the shoulder.

The jock cried out in pain, but didn't let go. "Oh no," Ella gasped, holding her hands close out of fear and worry. "Tyler, please, you don't have to do this! You'll hurt yourself!"

"Maybe I will," the jock grunted as he continued to struggle with the Ripper, keeping the figure from advancing down the bus. "But it's worth it to protect _you_!"

"But why?" Ella asked in shock. "I mean I'm _flattered_ , but I don't think there's anything I can _do_ right now!"

"I'm not doing this because of the _challenge_ ," Tyler said, narrowing his eyes and looking straight at the Ripper, who seemed to be taken aback slightly. "I'm doing this because I _love you_ , and I don't want you to have to do this anymore!"

Ella gasped sharply, shocked so much by the admission that she fell to her knees on the aisle of the bus. The Ripper also looked startled, taking a short step back causing Tyler to slump lean forward a little. As the jock raised an eyebrow in confusion, the Ripper's eyes were seen closing solemnly. Then, after the camera panned up to the raised dagger that was pointing down at the jock, the music spiked dramatically as the weapon was turned around, and the hilt slammed down hard onto Tyler's neck.

He slumped onto the ground with a grunt, and the Ripper stepped over him.

"Tyler, no!" Ella screamed, reaching out towards the fallen jock but quickly retracting her hand as the Ripper jumped forward and narrowed their eyes menacingly at her. "I...I don't suppose I could convince you to let us go with a _song_ , could I?" Ella asked, her voice filled with hope and fear.

The Ripper made no sound, merely taking another step forward.

Ella gulped. "Here goes," she said before taking a deep breath. A light and flowery tune abruptly took over the background music before being cut out by a loud and ominous chanting tune as the Ripper raised the gleaming dagger. The camera zoomed in on the blackness of the singer's open mouth as she let out a very musical scream...

/

A duller tune started playing as the footage skipped ahead to show the jumbo jet in flight once more, flying towards the rising sun. The scene cut inside to first class where Chris and Chef were standing next to a large entertainment center set into the wall; its screen was divided into quarters showing the inside of the double-decker bus, the exterior of the Tower of London, the torture chamber, and the banquet hall.

The two adults leaned to the left, the camera panning to the left and revealing the captured contestants lined up on a long rug against the wall – Sammy holding Dawn tight, Shawn, Ezekiel, Alejandro, and the Ripper dumping Ella and Tyler out of a sack onto a bruised and battered Sugar.

Ella immediately brightened up when she saw everyone. "I'm so happy everyone's okay!"

"I _know_ , right?" Sammy said, holding Dawn even tighter. "I was worried out of my mind, it was such a relief to see that Dawn wasn't hurt."

"Same here," Dawn told her with a smile and blush.

"Yes," Alejandro said calmly as the shot moved on to him, "we were _all_ concerned with each other's safety. Some moreso than _others_ ," he added with a pointed look at Tyler as the jock helped singer to her feet.

"Uhh...were you watching, like, _everything_?" Tyler asked, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh I _was_ ," Alejandro answered with a glare.

"Yes, well," Ella interjected, swiftly putting herself between Tyler and Alejandro, "I'm sure we all have things to talk about later. More importantly, I think we'd all like to know who it was that captured all of us." She motioned to the Ripper, standing at the end of their line and being eyed warily by Sugar.

"Yeah, who is he anyway?" the pageant queen asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Chris said as he walked past the contestants and stood next to the Ripper. "If you'd be so kind?" he motioned to the cloaked figure, who nodded and dramatically threw away its hat.

A dramatic beat played as the camera zoomed in on the face of...

" _AMY_?!" Sammy shrieked, the shot quick-panning away from the beauty-marked and blank expression of the mean twin to the nice twin, who was looking the most horrified she had all night.

"Hah!" Chris laughed as the camera cut back to him. "Not really, I just thought it would be a great joke. The Ripper is _really_...," he grabbed the mystery figure's face, the camera following his hand as he tore away the rubber Amy mask and leaving the face unseen. The off-screen contestants gasped, and the camera slowly panned back down onto a chubby head with long, pointed brown ears, a thick brown ponytail bound by a red ribbon, and a mouth full of pointed teeth set into a happy grin on a face covered in short brown fur...

The room was silent of even background music as the shot panned back across the utterly stunned campers until it finally reach Dawn staring calmly at the end of the line.

" _Staci_ ," she said with a quietness that nevertheless pierced the room.

"Yup! Hi guys!" a familiar voice said as the camera snapped back to the wolfish features of the unmasked Ripper. "Sorry for being so rough," she told them after a happy wave, "but I'm still really happy to be back in the game, _yah_."

Alejandro cleared his throat and raised a finger to get the host's attention. "Excuse me, Chris? By 'back in the game', does she mean-"

"Uh-huh!" Chris answered immediately and with great mirth.

"We found her eatin' out of a dumpster when we stopped to refuel yesterday," Chef explained as he walked over to Chris and Staci. "Once we saw what she'd become, we brought her on the plane."

"And in the privacy of first class, I offered her a _deal_ ," the host added. "If she successfully captured all of you guys before she got captured herself, she could come back in the game. And since she _did_ , congratulations!" He motioned with fake excitement to Staci, who looked overwhelmed by the gesture, the handful of confetti that Chef had tossed over her, and the hesitant-sounding version of the series' usual triumphant music that was playing in the background.

The shot zoomed out again as the triumphant music abruptly cut away to silence and the rest of the cast save Dawn were shown looking at Staci with a blunt sort of shock.

"Umm, sorry," Shawn raised his hand to speak up, "no offense, but Staci doesn't really seem, y'know, _human_ anymore. What _happened_ to her?"

"Oh, yah, it's pretty simple actually," Staci replied with a light handwave. "See, after I was eliminated in Egypt, I totally hitchhiked around visiting all my relative. Like, I managed to get all the way to my second cousin's Uncle Borys in Ukraine, but like the day after I left to visit his brother Mykola in Belarus I stopped for the night in this forest outside this, like, old abandoned town, yah." As she spoke, the camera panned back across the other contestants as they gave one another confused and disbelieving looks.

"And when I woke up, I was totally a werewolf!" Staci said excitedly, causing the most of the other teens to gasp.

"Oh my, you were turned into a _werewolf_?!" Ella asked in shock.

"Uh-huh!" Staci nodded happily. "Like, I don't really remember how it happened since I guess I was asleep at the time," she looked back over her shoulder and under her right arm, "and I still don't really know where I was bitten since the fur doesn't go away, but I'm still totally a werewolf now. See?" she tore away the rest of her Ripper outfit to reveal her old and slightly-tattered outfit, and more importantly the long furry tail that was sticking out the back and wagging happily. "Isn't it awesome?"

The full cast was shown again, staring blankly for a moment before Alejandro stepped forward and gave the girl a slightly dulled version of his usual charming smile. "Of course! It's so good to have you back, Staci. But tell us, why exactly didn't you just keep visiting your family?"

"Oh, well," she explained, looking somewhat bashful, "I figured that since I was a werewolf now, I should, like, roam around Europe causing trouble and earning some monster cred, yah. But that was totally, like, _annoying_ , so I decided to try and find a boat back to Canada instead. But then I ran into Chris and Chef, which was even better!"

"And then she kicked all your butts in a truly _awesome_ fashion," Chris added, "and the rest is history. Team Universe," the four in question stiffened at the call, "since your team was taken out first, you lose today's competish. Team Victory, even though you _also_ got taken out, you still lasted longer and as such get to stay in first class to our next destination."

Ezekiel, Sugar, Tyler, and Ella began to cheer in excitement as the proper triumphant tune began to play.

"Team Universe," the host turned back to the other team, "head on back to the elimination room, you're voting someone off. And just to make things a little more _interesting_ ," he smiled slyly, "you also get _Staci_ on your team! But someone _else_ is gonna have to go."

He pointed a thumb to Alejandro, Shawn, Sammy, and Dawn, the charmer narrowing his eyes and smirking while the middle two uttered a nervous "Uh-oh..." to a single chanted note.

/

A more plodding tune took over as the footage skipped forward to Alejandro and Staci walking through the halls together, headed towards economy class. "I'll admit I never thought much of you before now, but after your performance tonight I am _quite_ impressed. It's an honor to have you on my team."

"Thanks!" Staci said happily. "Honestly, I'm really proud I was able to pull everything off. There were some really tense moments, yah. I was really scared when you showed up before we landed, I thought it was over for me right there."

"Hahaha, well, I suppose it's for the best that you got the better of me," Alejandro laughed. "And since you surely don't know who to vote for, I'd be happy to lend you a hand tonight."

"Ooh, I'd _love_ to be in an alliance!" Staci told him, her wagging tail momentarily distracting him.

"Yes," he told her after regaining his cool. "I just need to talk to one more person...," he lingered in front of the curtained entrance to economy class, just as Sammy walked out looking distracted. "And what do you know, perfect timing!"

"Oh, hi Alejandro..." Sammy said, nervously rubbing her left arm and not meeting Alejandro's devilish gaze. "I didn't see you there..."

"No matter," he said with a dismissive hand-wave as he stood up straight and closed his eyes to compose himself. "I just wanted to know whether or not you'll be honoring our _agreement_ tonight.

"Umm...," Sammy began hesitantly, only for Alejandro to immediately cut her off.

"I'd accept your reluctance if it were _Dawn_ we were voting," he told her, "but as it is not, I expect you honor your alliance. After all, we wouldn't want you to develop a reputation for treachery, now would we _Samey_?"

A few ominous chanted notes played as the camera zoomed in on Sammy's anxious face.

/

The scene flashed to the elimination chamber, where Chris was standing in front of the open door with an envelope in his hands. A quick set of deep drum beats played, and he began to read. "Aaand, with three votes against him," he announced as the camera panned over to the seats – Alejandro and Staci were seated in the top row, while Dawn sat between Sammy and Shawn in the bottom - " _Shawn_!"

Both the survivalist and the cheerleader hung their heads, the former in frustration but the latter in sadness and regret.

"It's time to say tally ho," Chris said as the shot cut back to him imitating an English accent. "Pip-pip, cheery-o, toodle-oo~oo!"

"Yeah, I get it," Shawn spat as he stood up. "I'm _going_."

The sombre elimination music began to play as he walked forward, only for Sammy to grab him by the wrist and pull him into a hug. "I'm really sorry I voted for you," she told him. "I never should have agreed to that alliance..."

Shawn sighed and broke the hug. "Look, I'll get over it," he told her. "Just make sure you don't let _Al_ keep getting to you." He gave the charmer a glare that was easily shrugged off, then turned a softer gaze to the moonchild. "Dawn, I'm counting on _you_ to keep this team in line and free of the undead."

"I'll do my best," the mystic nodded, taking her girlfriend's hand and smiling.

"Right," Shawn nodded, turning and walking towards the door. He accepted the parachute pack that Chris gave him, slipped it on, and paused at the doorway. "So long, you stupid plane!" he said, kicking the wall and jumping out with a whoop and a holler.

Chris watched fall for a few seconds before the feed cut to static.

xxx

"Man," Tyler opened his confessional, the camera zoomed in oddly close, "today was like the most...not _extreme_..," he said after a moment's thought, "exhilarating? Yeah, today was like the most exhilarating day _ever_. Between the challenge, and finally telling Ella I love her, I've got just this _major_ buzz going on right now!"

He paused to flash a goofy grin at the camera, which was slowly zooming out as the doorknob clicked and the door swung open and Staci walked in unaware of the room's current occupant.

"Whoa, what the heck happened to the alarm?" Tyler asked, backing up against the far wall with a freaked-out look on his face.

"Oh yah, I guess it's busted or something," Staci said with a shrug before giving the jock a warm smile. "But I'm glad I ran into you, I wanted to talk about what you said on the bus."

"You do?" Tyler asked, raising a brow in confusion as Staci quickly sat down next to him and leaned in close.

"Well yah," she said with a bashful smile. "I mean, I know the others thought you were talking to Ella, but I know by the way you were looking at me who you were _really_ saying those sweet words to."

"You _do_?" Tyler repeated, freaked out once again as Staci batted her furry eyelashes at him.

"Yah, silly," Staci said playfully. "I don't know how you knew it was me, but you really touched my heart. I love you too, Tyler!"

Before he could respond she'd kissed him, deeply and on the lips.

As if on cue, Ella leaned into the room to the sound of a slide whistle. Her mouth was agape in shock and her wide eyes immediately locked on to Tyler's. The singer's eyes turned to tears and she leaned back out to the slide whistle sound again, and the jock turned his wide eyes to the camera.

xxx

"Whoa-ho-ho!" Chris laughed as the scene zoomed out, the confessional feed appearing on a small monitor screen hanging on the back wall of the cockpit and the dramatic capstone music beginning once more. "That's how you get some _drama_ started," the host told the camera watching him. "Wait until everyone finds out about this one!" he added, earning a chuckle from Chef.

"Will Ella tell all," Chris asked the camera, "and who's gonna fall? Find out next week, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

"Welp, not gonna lie and say I didn't see _that_ coming," Shawn said as he plummeted towards the Earth, his parachute not yet deployed. "I get why Sammy did it, but it still stings getting eliminated because she actually _wanted_ to keep a promise to Alejandro."

It was then that he pulled the cord on his pack, deploying his parachute and drastically slowing his descent. His jar of vegemite popped out with the parachute, and he eagerly grabbed it before it fell away. "Huh, I was wondering where this went," he said with a smile before looking back at the camera. "Pretty good stuff, all things considered. Nice color, too; it'll make good camouflage for when the undead really start rising up and civilization crumbles."

He seemed to have a sudden realization, and turned a troubled look upwards. "And speaking of undead...although to be honest I'm not really sure if werewolves count as undead," he said, looking at the camera again and adding "The sources are a little _vague_. The point is, if Staci's a werewolf now, the others are gonna have to watch their backs so she doesn't infect them. The last thing the world needs is a plane full of _monsters_ flying around."

He laughed to himself, then added "Chris and Chef are bad enough on their own!"

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

So, any of you review-watchers recall how I mentioned earlier in the season how, between the animal curse, the incredible losing streak, and Feral Zeke only one would be retained in some form, but that you (probably) wouldn't see it coming? Yeah. This is what I was talking about.

I think there was maybe one reviewer who actually guessed that the 'dog that looks like Staci' from the second Aftermath's Total Drama Fugitives really was the girl herself. Perhaps the thought occurred to others, but they never brought it up and so I have no way of telling whether or not it's true. Regardless, this was something I've been planning since the start of the season.

See, I've always felt that the main problem with the Feral Zeke plot wasn't so much him stowing away in secret and popping up in the background from time to time (which was hilarious) but rather that they completely destroyed his humanity in the process. However, he also became a recurring part of the series in the process, with London and Tanzania and the next two seasons, which meant I couldn't just do away with the subplot entirely. So instead, I kept the points that were truly required - that an eliminated contestant became a somewhat monstrous recurring entity - and merely tacked them on to existing characterization instead of replacing them wholesale.

Thus, Staci retains everything that makes her Staci, it's just that she's now a werewolf...or so she believes anyway. Regardless, she's still a usable and complex character which I hope everyone will at the very least warm up to.

Speaking of Staci, her returning here was something I new I wanted early on - if canon had the outcome where the Ripper failed, then why not explore the outcome where the Shuffled Ripper succeeds? Which, incidentally, is why this episode wasn't a reward as so many of you predicted. I was actually going to have another double elimination just to get the numbers right for the merge again, but I didn't end up liking what that would have to require.

As such, with a heavy heart, I decided to eliminate Shawn here. I hope you all aren't too mad at me.

Other than that, all I have to mention is the Shuffled take on the infamous kiss scene from canon, which is one of my favorite parts of the season if only because of of Tyler. As you can tell, though the reactions between the three involved here are much different than in canon...

Oh, and if it wasn't obvious the song is just a shuffled version of 'Changing Guard Mix', so there's not a lot to talk about with it.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed this rather twisted chapter, so let me know what you think and I'll see you all next Friday.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (17th Place)

Lightning - (16th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (15th Place)

Geoff - (14th Place)

Scott - (13th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (12th Place)

Sierra - (11th Place)

DJ - (10th Place)

Shawn - (9th Place)


	16. Chapter 16 - Greeces Pieces

**Author's Note**

Hey, folks! I hope you're ready for what I think is an interesting chapter, filled with the twists and turns that you all love. Though perhaps it isn't as dramatic as last week's, but I believe the Shuffled version of the Greece episode will be enjoyable. Next week is Sweden and the third quarter finale; both the musical number (as usual) and the need to slow down and plot things out has once more delayed the chapter's finish, meaning I'll be finishing it up on Saturday.

My apologies if I sound a little terse, but I accidentally closed the tab while responding to the reviews so I've had to write the first seven, as well as the preceding paragraph, all over again.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Thanks! I'm glad you liked the reference to ROTI with Dawn's line, as well as canon with Tyler being forced to strip the guard - both were too good to pass up. It was surprisingly fun to write the Ripper picking everyone off one by one, and perhaps even more so writing the big reveal of what Staci has become.

 **I. M. Poik:** Glad you liked it, Shawn's elimination and the gender ratio aside. To be honest I'm not really bothered by the ratio, but then again I do already know more-or-less what's gonna happen at Niagara Brawls. I enjoyed writing my Ripper's success, even more so knowing what would become of it what with her roll in the love snarl and all. Plus, at the very least I figured it would be fairer than what happened in canon, and certainly more interesting (at least in my view). Sugar was absolutely making a reference to Leonard, by the way. And as for your questions...well, the first two won't be answered for a while, but as for the others...just read on and find out!

 **aloasa:** Ehh, I guess I can't expect everyone to be excited about Staci's return. Oh well. Hopefully the changes she'll force in the cast's dynamic will be more enjoyable.

 **Solarr-Eclipse:** Hah, well, I do call the chapters 'episodes myself' after all. And honestly, unless you were really paying a lot of attention each week and made it a point to remember every little detail of what I said, I doubt you'd have come to the conclusion that I was gonna to what I did with Staci. Though I will admit I have been very deliberate with a lot of things regarding her this season, and the way Tyler inadvertently looked at her is a good example. I'm super happy you're looking forward to what happens next, and I hope it lives up to your expectations.

 **Animation Adventures:** Thanks! Honestly, I really enjoyed writing it; it's not something I do very often and I really wanted to have the tension and rising panic, especially in Sammy and Ella, really come through. I'm glad that, for better or worse, that part of the chapter has been really well-received. Keeping the song so close to canon was basically born from me wanting to repeat the line about Tyler having to strip the guard, and admittedly a bit of laziness. Still, I think it worked. And Staci's twists...well, I've been looking forward to those for some time now, and they were deliberately meant to be a sort of last minute mood whiplash, going from the tense horror to the surreal weirdness. I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you enjoy what comes next!

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** To be honest, I actually came up with the idea of what to do to Staci long before that episode of the Ridonculous Race came out. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that series introduced werewolves as being something that actually exists in the TD universe since it adds some credibility to Staci's story, but with so much regarding that girl and the series as a whole things aren't always what they seem.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Yup, pretty much. I knew early on that turning Staci into a monster of sorts was exactly what I needed to fill a certain 'hole' in the greater TD plot, and all in all I'm happy with what I decided to do to her.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Yeah, fair enough all things considered. I kinda figured going into things that Shawn's boot wasn't gonna make a lot of people happy, so i did my best to justify it with only Sammy being a little questionable. But hey, given her age and history, I figure it's absolutely warranted for her to care about how she's perceived, especially if she thinks she'll get grief over it from her sister. And yeah, I will admit that part of the reason for the mix-up was to disguise the serial elimination of Team Chris. Glad you liked the song; the canon version is one of my favorites as well. And as for the twists with Staci, well, I'm glad you're accepting them. It's one of those weird things that I personally like and think will work in the story, but which I know might be a little outlandish to my readers.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Yeah, I'm not surprised that somebody considered the possibility of Scarlett as the Ripper; it was never one I considered though since I knew really early on int the planning stages of the season that it would be Staci. Besides, we've had enough of Scarlett for now. As for Amy being the returnee...well, I deliberately invoked that with the mask gag, so there's not much else to say. And I'm glad I was able to make the episode seem so different to it's canon equivalent, despite following much the same formula. It just goes to show how much the characters matter.

 **VIPGuest:** Hmm, well, I wouldn't call what they did making out, but I'm glad you kinda like it. As for Staci...well, I will say that there's a logical answer for what happened to her, even if it's TD logic and not real-world logic.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Haha, glad you're excited for Staci's return and her place in the story. Also glad you're liking Sugar, as well as the references to the canon seasons. I know I don't do them too often nowadays, but I'm happy when I can find ones that really work. And...you may be the only one who's really happy about Shawn's elimination, not that I mind or anything.

 **Sean the Artic Fox:** Well, just see how things turn out I guess is all I can say myself.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Mmm. In my defense, the TDverse has always been a little weird in the background even if it didn't become too obvious until the later seasons. What I did with Staci...knowing all the details In my mind, I'm confident in saying that it makes perfect sense in-universe, if not strictly at this point in time compared to canon. And yeah, Greece is this week and Sweden is next week; both times have pretty...unusual challenges, in terms of what I've had to write, rewrite, and justify; but you'll find out soon enough. Glad you've made peace with Shawn's elimination, though I won't say when or if he'll get to compete again...yet...

 **ferguson97:** Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed the kiss. Though I disagree with her being a completely blank slate; she does have some established character traits that need to be kept in mind, but aside from that there is a lot of room to explore and develop her character. Glad I managed to catch you off-guard with the fake Amy reveal; I deliberately included it as a reference to the fact that she's returned/entered halfway through in both previous seasons. But, of course, it was finally Staci's turn to grab the spotlight. And yeah, Sammy's smart enough to know that Alejandro will betray her eventually...but that doesn't mean she doesn't have standards herself. Besides, I needed her alliance with Alejandro to actually be meaningful, even if the outcome of it is unpleasant.

 **FOWLKON:** Honestly, having the kissing scene involve DJ, Dawn, or Sammy never even crossed my mind, because as you said it wouldn't have been particularly dramatic even if the episodes had been in the canon order. Having it involve Alejandro and Ella...well, I'll admit it didn't occur to me but I can see it working. However, I chose Staci for a reason, and that was because I wanted it to be Ella who walked in on it. As for why...you'll understand, I hope, in time.

 **Knifez:** Whew, it's reviews like this that make me glad I wait so long before answering. Now, first off, I'm gonna assume that you reviewed in sort of the heat of the moment or whatever and that you've since calmed down a bit; if I'm wrong, then I apologize in advance. The reason I'm saying this is because, honestly, your alternative proposal for what Shawn should have done kinda stinks and also you have absolutely no excuse for not expecting the implicit 'no voting for Staci' considering that's what I've done the _entire freaking series_. To go into more detail regarding Shawn, at the start of the chapter with the four-person team his best-case-scenario was to vote off Alejandro, not lose again, then team up with Sammy and Dawn post-merge along with probably Ella or Sugar (or whoever he thought was on the bottom of Team Victory) and go from there. Sammy's reluctance to break her alliance, however, means he either has to risk a tiebreaker or backstab Dawn, as you said. Had he gone through with it, though, he'd have no guarantee that Sammy (now mad at him for voting off Dawn and possibly willing to honor her alliance with Alejandro) wouldn't vote him out if they went to elimination before the merge again, or would really wanna work with him if they made it to the merge. To Shawn, it was a case of taking the risk now and getting a good position later on, or taking it safer now and being in a much worse position later on - less than ideal no matter what he chooses, but I don't think it's too out-of-character for him to take the risk. And then with Staci suddenly there to upset things...well, I'll concede that I should have had Shawn visibly try to get Staci on his side and/or get Sammy to change her mind (and inevitably fail, since I still needed Sammy's alliance with Alejandro to have an actual impact on the game and that meant Shawn had to go).  
AS for Staci, well, I will say that I do have a plan for her - I won't spoil the details, of course, and you will probably have to wait a while before everything becomes clear, but I will say that I was very deliberate in her off-the-show journey so there _are_ hints of the plan if you know where to look. And I might have also hinted vaguely in some of the other review replies this chapter as said I'm glad you enjoyed the challenge, it was (as I've said) very fun to write. Her taking out Shawn and Sugar in a very over-the-top manner was deliberate, since I wanted to establish her as an over-the-top threat; though I can see why you'd be bothered by it. Other than that...well, I am hoping that you like things a little more this chapter, but I'm not gonna get my hopes up.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Hah, yeah, last week's chapter was pretty much out of left field by design, and I'm fine if you're feeling salty about Shawn getting kicked off because of it. In my defense regarding Sammy's decision, at least...well, even if it wasn't the best long-term move, even if pretty much everyone would have understood...she's still someone who was abused for most of her life, and that's gonna mean some psychological baggage. I'll admit I could've explained it better, but her decision was more about what she wanted for herself more than what others would think about her, even if she didn't really know it. Does that make sense? Probably not, I don't know, but what's done is done. Oh, and Staci beating Shawn so quickly...was honestly just some deliberate over-the-topness on my part to make Staci a credible threat, and I can totally understand you not liking it.  
WHAT else...well, I'll admit I'm a little disappointed that you're not really liking Ella, but that's all I can say about that. I am glad that you did like the overall chapter, though. And yeah, Staci still talks pretty much like she always has, she's just furry and dog-like now, I'm glad you're liking her. Same with most of the characters too, of course. Having Alejandro witness a kiss between Tyler and Ella would certainly have been dramatic, but ultimately I felt that it should be Ella who sees the kiss for reasons that may or may not become clear soon.  
YOUR predictions are interesting, as always, and I do hope you enjoy what is to come.

 **StarHeart Specials:** Hello! And I sure hope that Staci's new role is better than what happened to Zeke, considering his former characterization was completely abandoned. I'm pretty glad you're getting in to the love snarl surrounding Ella, since it's not exactly been well-loved lately.

 **OMAC001:** Haha, yeah, looks like I was able to surprise pretty much everyone with that twist. I hope you enjoy what happens next!

 **DSX62415:** Hey, no worries about not reviewing sooner; you gotta do what you gotta do. And...I suppose that's a point regarding werewolf Staci versus feral Staci, but I'm not sure how relevant it really is to the story at hand.

 **Star Saber21:** Haha, yeah, I think those words went through the minds of most of my readers during the last chapter, in some form or another. Glad you're intrigued by Staci, and I hope I don't disappoint with my long-term plans for her.

 **bruno14:** Hey, don't worry about not reviewing earlier, I understand. More importantly, I'm really happy you liked last week's chapter so much. And yeah, Ella's been through quite a bit in a short time. It's nice to hear who you're rooting for, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the season.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Yup, the main mystery behind Staci has been solved, but it seems to have left some more in its place. You'll find out soon enough how Staci fares in challenges. And yeah, it was kinda sad to write Shawn being eliminated, but it was his time to go unfortunately. I hope you enjoy this week's chapter!

 **The Prime Writer:** Haha, yeah, I've gathered that from the reviews. I'm glad to hear that you're warming up a little to Tyler and Ella being together, and as for Chris dissolving the team named after him...well, he did say he regretted it, after all. As for the idea of Ella being the first one to go in order for her to see what Alejandro and Sugar really thought of her would have been interesting and dramatic, but it's not what I wanted just yet - that revelation needs to have the right timing, and I really needed a proper moment between her and Tyler for their subplot to move forward. Regarding you new reviewing plan moving forward, do whatever you please. I will admit that I do enjoy longer and well thought-out reviews, and if taking your time and only reviewing after every other chapter is what you feel you want to do, then so be it. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the rest of the season, however often they come.

And that, finally, is it for this week. As always, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next.

The teams, as they currently stand, are as follows:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Tyler, Ella, Sugar

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Dawn, Staci

I hope you're ready for a challenge of Olympic proportions, because that's pretty much what's about to happen. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 16 – Greece's Pieces**

"Previously on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris began as the recap montage started with the plane icon moving across the world map towards the British Isles. "London, England," he said over a shot of the Tower Bridge, "home of royalty," the two elderly guards were shown at their posts, "history," Chef walked up to Team Universe in his executioner's outfit, "and some _very_ hard buses." Sammy and Dawn were shown plummeting down on the same failed parachute past a hung-up Shawn, " _Crrrrrunch_!" onto the double-decker bus.

"Here, Samey went through a painful growing period," the cheerleader was shown getting stretched on the torture rack, "we said a surprise hello to _Staci_ ," the now-wolfish girl revealed herself as the Ripper back on the plane, "and a sad goodbye to _Shawn_." The survivalist was shown giving one last message to Dawn before he jumped off the plane.

"And last but not least, Tyler and Staci had a _steamy_ private moment," the host added over a shot of Staci kissing the startled jock in the restroom confessional as Ella quietly slid in and out with shock and horror and even a few tears on her face, "that _wasn't_ completely private."

The recap ended, and the feed moved to the cockpit. "It's almost like somebody disabled the eavesdropper alarms _on purpose_ ," Chris said with a falsely thoughtful look, "just so this could happen! But who's got two thumbs and would've done that?" he asked cheekily, pointing both thumbs at himself with a wide and proud grin.

"We've got _eight_ competitors left and a million dollars on the line," Chris told the camera. "Who's game is getting old? And who's strong enough to grab the gold? Find out right now, on Total! Drama! World Tour!" A flock of geese flew in formation across the screen below the plane, and the host added "Opa!"

"Aww, now that is just _embarrassin_ '," Chef grumbled in response.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

/

Like so many before it, the episode opened with a shot of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet in flight, headed towards the left with the sun behind it.

xxx

The scene immediately cut to the restroom confessional, where Ella was nervously looking from her camera to the door.

"Ever since London, I've been having a _really_ hard time figuring out what's going on around me," she explained after a moment, worry and uncertainty all over her face. "Before, I was so _certain_ that Alejandro was my true love. I mean, he's acted like nothing short of a true Prince Charming to me, so everything was so obvious! But then in London, the way that Tyler protected me from Staci, and even declared his love for me...," she paused as a flustered blush appeared on her cheeks, "well it was like the fairy tale moment I've been waiting for all my life! But I can't have _two_ princes, can I? Well," she looked thoughtful for a moment, "I suppose I _could_ , but I don't think I want to."

She sighed sadly. "Of course, it might not matter since I saw Tyler kissing _Staci_ in this very room," she added with a pitiful motion to the toilet she was sitting on. "And I really don't know what to make of all this...why would he kiss _Staci_ when he said he loved _me_? Was it some sort of misunderstanding? Do I _want_ it to be a misunderstanding, even though I'm already dating Alejandro?" She sighed dramatically again. "Oh, who knew that love could be so _complicated_?"

xxx

"Man, who knew love could be so _complicated_?" Tyler groaned to Ezekiel as the scene cut to them and Sugar trying to relax in first class. "I thought for _sure_ that I was gonna get through to Ella, but then suddenly _Staci_ kissed me? What am I supposed to do _now_?"

"Err, beats me," Ezekiel told him. "I don't got a lot of experience with girls, eh. Maybe you should just talk to 'em or something?"

"I guess," Tyler said, "but what am I even supposed to _say_? 'Sorry I kissed another chick, it was all just a big misunderstanding'?"

Ezekiel gave him a blank look for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, that sounds pretty good," he told his friend with a smile.

Tyler gave the homeschooler a blank look of his own before shrugging and standing up. "Guess it's worth a shot. I'm gonna go get some air and think about things," he said before walking off.

Sugar narrowed her eyes as she watched him leave the cabin, and once he was out of sight she leaned towards Ezekiel and said "I don't think Tyler's quite the man I thought he was."

"What do you mean?" Ezekiel asked in confusion.

"Sayin' he likes Ella, then kissin' Staci instead and hemmin' and hawin' over it?" she told him. "Where I come from, we call that _two-timin_ '."

"Err, but-" Ezekiel tried to say before the pageant queen continued.

"I mean, who does he think he is?" Sugar remarked with a glare in the direction Tyler had left. "Ya can't just go behind your girl's back like that!"

"I don't think he-" Ezekiel tried to interject, failing once again.

"But don't get me wrong," Sugar kept going, "I'm not gonna abandon him or anything. But I _knew_ havin' him and Ella around was gonna be trouble, so either he picks one of 'em or I think we're gonna have to vote Ella off to keep things simple around here. Whaddaya say?" she asked the boy sitting next to her.

Ezekiel looked flabbergasted for a moment, then blandly told her "I'll think about it, eh."

xxx

"I really don't get Sugar sometimes," Ezekiel told the confessional camera with a hopeless expression.

xxx

A light, dreamy tune played as the scene flashed to a close-up of Staci sleeping soundly, curled up on an economy class bench like a dog. The camera pulled back a little, first showing Alejandro sitting next to her and giving her a wary look, then showing Sammy and Dawn watching on the other side of the room.

"Do you think she's really a werewolf?" Sammy cautiously asked her girlfriend. "I mean, it's hard to believe, but what else could she be?"

"Even I'm not really sure," Dawn replied. "Her aura isn't much different than it used to be, so aside from becoming both more confident in herself and at the same time more concerned with how others view her, I can't tell _what_ exactly caused her physical changes."

"Well, whatever it is," Alejandro spoke up from across the aisle, loud enough to be heard but not enough to stir their slumbering teammate, "I doubt it'll matter in the long run. Staci is a... _valuable_ team member now, so as long as we treat her with respect, I don't believe she'll cause trouble for us."

Dawn and Sammy gave the notorious charmer mute but skeptical looks.

xxx

"I'm pretty sure Alejandro's only saying that because he wants Staci on _his_ side," Sammy told the restroom camera. "Well, that or he's just as scared of getting bitten as the rest of us but doesn't wanna show it."

xxx

/

The shot cut back to Alejandro as he rolled his eyes, then looked over at Staci and smirked. The camera panned down to her as she yawned and lifted herself up on all fours to stretch, then scratched behind her ear with her foot.

"Hi guys," she greeted her teammates with a smile as she shifted around to sit on the seat like a human. "That was a really good sleep for being on a plane, yah. It reminds me of a sleep I had in Poland, yah. This rich old woman thought I was a stray dog, so she let me sleep on an emerald-studded cushion. It was really comfortable."

Her teammates were shown giving her odd looks, but she didn't appear to notice as stretched her arms. "The only thing that would've made that sleep better were if Tyler was there with me. He's such a sweetie, I'm lucky to have a boyfriend like him." She sighed dreamily.

The camera lingered back on Alejandro as his neutral smile faded into a light scowl and he looked away out the window.

xxx

"And so it begins with the made-up stories," Alejandro told the confessional camera in annoyance. "I suppose she couldn't have changed too much while she was away. Still, she'll be useful to me both in the competition, and in keeping _Tyler_ away from _Ella_. Although," he frowned, "the way she talks about him just _irks_ me for some reason."

xxx

A bout of static cut to another restroom confessional, this one given by a thoughtful-looking Dawn. "If I'm not mistaken," she told the camera, "part of Alejandro's aura showed an _unusual_ annoyance towards Staci just now. It _must_ be connected to Ella and Tyler. I'll have to take a closer look the next time they're in the same room together.

xxx

The footage cut ahead to the eight contestants gathered on opposite sides of a table in some dimly-lit part of the common area; Team Universe was standing on the left, Team Victory on the right, and Chris was in the middle.

"Prepare yourselves for challenges," the host began as the team logos briefly appeared over their respective groups, "of an _amateur_ caliber." Ezekiel and Sugar smiled while Tyler shot a nervous look at a sad-looking Ella; Staci clapped cheerfully while Sammy smiled as well, Alejandro kept himself looking neutral, and Dawn calmly looked between him, Staci, and the four on the other side of the table.

"Because _we're_ recreating the original Olympics!" the host finished, earning vaguely disappointed looks from the competitors as a flat note played. "And we're heading to the birthplace of the Olympics right now, in-"

"Greece, eh," Ezekiel answered smartly.

"Ooh, _Atlantis_!" Sugar added, eagerly raising her hand.

"My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-Grandfather's hometown?" Staci replied in confusion.

"Wrong," Chris told Ezekiel, "fictional," he told Sugar, "aaaaand not even _close_ ," he told Staci. "We're going to Rome, Italy!" he announced to light fanfare.

Staci nodded. "Yah, that's totally where my ancestor lived," she lied.

"But Ezekiel was correct," Alejandro spoke up. "The Olympics originated in Greece."

" _No_ ," Chris countered, "they origina-"

"No, they're right," Sammy interrupted, "it's Greece."

Chris paused, frowned, then angrily looked through his notes and tossed a few away. "Interns!" he called out irately, the black man and white who had been seen in Australia immediately scrambling to his sides. He gave them each a sidelong glance as tense music built up in the background, then said "Everyone should probably hang onto something. Everyone except _you_ ," he told the nervous black intern.

The shot cut outside as the plane tilted and the intern in question flew screaming out an open door.

Back inside, Chris tapped the remaining intern on the chest with his wad of notes. " _Yoouu_ , might wanna find some info on Greece," he told the man. "Quickly." The intern took the notes and scampered off. "Greece...it is...," Chris told the camera, walking away with an awkward laugh.

The camera pulled back to show the contestants hunkered down, under the table or grabbing onto one of its legs. "Chef, slight change of plans," the host called out to the pilot from off-screen, and the contestants stood back up and faced each other.

"Prepare yourselves for battle, eh!" Ezekiel taunted the other team.

" _Child's play_ , " Alejandro retorted. "The four of us are _much_ better athletes than the four of _you_!"

"Oh _please_ ," Tyler scoffed, "like _I'm_ gonna lose an Olympic challenge."

"Oh, I'm sure _you'll_ do great," Staci told him with a coy look, "but, like, don't expect me to hold back just because we're in love, yah."

The camera zoomed in on an anxious Ella as Tyler spluttered "W-what are you _talking_ about?" off-screen.

"Like, you don't have to worry about me," Staci explained from out of sight. "I mean, how could I call myself your girlfriend if I wasn't just as strong as you are?" she added, and Ella looked hurt by the comment.

"Uhh..." Tyler said in an odd tone as the camera panned first to Alejandro's unnoticed scowl, and then to Dawn as she gave him a calm yet piercing look.

The shot zoomed out briefly to show the whole cast again as most of the cast dispersed; Alejandro stayed put as he watched Ella and Tyler walk away with a fair amount of distance between them and both looking unsettled. He turned a sharp gaze to Staci as she walked obliviously walked past after Sammy, then when it looked like he was the only one left in the room he donned a troubled expression and rubbed his chin in thought.

"What you're feeling is _guilt_ ," Dawn spoke up, startling Alejandro as the camera rapidly zoomed back out to show the mystic standing behind him. "Or an _extension_ of guilt anyway."

Alejandro gave her a critical look, then scoffed haughtily. "Please, Burromuertos donot feel _guilt_." He closed his eyes and began to walk away, but was stopped by Dawn's next words.

"Even when they know they'll have to crush the spirit of someone as _innocent_ as Ella?" the moonchild asked. "Your aura makes it obvious that you've never met anybody quite like her," she added.

Unseen by Dawn but not by the cameras, Alejandro's eyes briefly popped open. "You don't know what you're talking about," he said, closing his eyes and clenching a fist. "Let me guess," he hissed, "next you'll say I'm really in _love_ with her or something."

"No," Dawn answered plainly, the shot zooming out again as she calmly walked past him. "You've just finally found a line you don't know if you want to cross."

Alejandro's eyes popped open again as she left, and a deep and dramatic tune took over as the season's world map was shown, the plane icon moving across Europe from west to east.

/

The footage skipped ahead, the scene moving to the Parthenon as the camera zoomed in on the cast. "Welcome to the Acropolis in Athens, Greece," Chris opened, the white intern standing by his side. "Home to many of the _first_ Olympians. Who, as my intern has informed me," he motioned to the man who smiled proudly, "competed _naked_!" He waggled his eyebrows and grinned.

The cast looked shocked and quite taken aback.

"Aww, do we have to?" Staci asked.

"Well I should hope _not_ ," Ella answered, oddly snippy. "The last thing we should be doing is running around in the nude like _animals_ ," she said with a pointed look at Staci.

Staci gasped in offense. "Hey, I never ran around naked, okay?"

"And you're not gonna do so _now_ , either." Chris interrupted. "Don't worry, ladies, it was just a quirky fact not an order. There's no need to be a 100% accurate here...unless there's a tiebreaker, in which we _will_ resort to nudity," he added with a smirk that made Ella blush.

The host shoved his notes into the intern's hands, then walked forward with his hands clasped behind his back. "Today we're gonna do things a _bit_ differently," he explained. "With the numbers even and both sides at roughly the same strength, a contest between the full teams would be a little dull. To make things more interesting, all of today's challenges will be one-on-one matches. Every victory gets you a gold medal," he explained as the camera began to pan across the relatively blank faces of the contestants. "The team with the most golds wins first class tickets to our next destination. Second place wins a brutal elimination ceremony," the host finished with a dark grin.

"Ain't there usually silver medals for second place at the Olympics?" Sugar asked.

"Maybe at the _real_ Olympics," Chris told her, "but like I said there's no need to be 100% accurate here. You get gold, or you get _nothing_."

"Perfect!" Sugar said with a happy grin.

xxx

"Honestly, I never got the point of a silver medal," Sugar confessed. "I mean, all you're really awardin' is bein' the last to lose, and who'd want that?" She shrugged, then grinned. "Lucky fer me a lifetime of pageants has taught me to focus on the one thing that matters most: _winnin_ '. And with my attitude, Chris might as well just give me the gold right now!"

xxx

"Our first historical event," Chris said as he lead the cast through a forest of marble columns, "is a Grecian Scavenger Hunt! The inside of the Odeon of Pericles is filled with maze-like rows of huge columns," he explained as the camera zoomed in on one of the columns then started panning to the right. "Players must search through this ancient forest of columns and return with the Grecian treasure that awaits you inside."

A light drumroll played as the shot moved back to the host. "First one to do so takes the _gold_!" he told them with a go-get-'em gesture. "So, who's goin' in?"

"I will," Ella and Staci said at the same time, stepping forward for Team Victory and Team Universe, respectively. "Wait, why you?" the two girls said at the same time as they realized the other had stepped forward.

"Well, like, I gotta step up for my team," Staci answered.

"This is _clearly_ what I'll be most suited for," Ella said at the same time.

The two girls leveled oddly fierce glares at one another, causing Tyler to glance nervously between them. "Uhh, maybe somebody else could-"

"Staci versus Ella it is!" Chris said quickly with his usual smile.

"Good," Staci remarked with a cocky and toothy smirk, "this'll make things pretty easy for me, yah."

"Don't count on it," Ella huffed.

xxx

"I know I'm being a little bit... _aggressive_ with Staci," Ella explained in the restroom confessional, "but I can't help myself. I'm ashamed to admit it, but thinking about what happened between her and Tyler just _really_ gets under my skin!"

xxx

Staci began the next confessional with a huff and a sideways glare. "Like, honestly, who does Ella think she is? I can tell she doesn't like that I'm with Tyler now, yah, my werewolf nose can _totally_ smell it," she explained, pointing at her furry nose. "But, like, she already has major-hottie Alejandro, she's so greedy for wanting Tyler too. Good thing I get to teach her a lesson, just like I taught that street gang who tried to mug me Slovakia, yah." She finished her confessional with a wide grin, her pointed teeth gleaming in the light.

xxx

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Tyler whispered to Ella as the scene cut back to the odeon. "I mean, Staci looks pretty _tough_."

"What, do you think I can't beat your...your _girlfriend_?" Ella told him sharply.

"No, I just think it might be dangerous," Tyler tried to explain, startled a little by her comment. "And she's not my girlfriend."

" _Hmmph_ ," Ella sniffed, looking away from her teammate. "I know what I saw, Tyler. People don't kiss each other for no reason. And besides, I've been on Total Drama just as long as you have. I can handle myself against a werewolf in a scavenger hunt just _fine_ , thank you very much."

"Glad to hear you're feeling so keen on this," Chris grinned as the camera moved back to him. He leaned down, picked up a pair of trashcan lids, and threw them to the girls who would be competing.

"Umm, and what are _these_ for exactly?" Ella cautiously asked.

"These _authentic_ Spartan shields will help you in your treasure hunt," Chris explained. "For the treasure you seek is tied to an Erymanthean Boar!"

A sudden roar moved the camera's attention elsewhere, quick-panning to a large bear standing on its hind legs and snarling. Long, boar-like tusks had been tied onto its upper jaw, and it wore a gold medal around its neck.

"Good luck to you both," Chris told the competing girls as the shot cut back to them. "And just to make sure things go smoothly, _Chef_ will be following you two." He motioned to the side as his assistant walked up, wearing Spartan-like armor. "Chef, sound the Spartan battle-horn!"

Chef took out a kazoo and blew a couple pitiful notes.

"Uuggh, _that's_ the Spartan battle-horn?" Chris asked in annoyance. "For reals?" He paused as the others just gave him blank looks, then pointed emphatically off stage left. "Just go already!" he commanded, walking back to the left as Staci, Ella, and Chef moved to the right. "The rest of you, follow me!" he told the rest of the cast with a smile.

"Wait, we aren't staying to watch?" Alejandro asked in confusion as most of the other contestants began to follow the host. "What if something happens?"

" _Relax_ , I sent Chef with them to watch _for_ us in case anything interesting happens," Chris told him. "Right now it's time to flip channels, just like the _real_ Olympics!" He smiled at the camera as he walked past, a smiling Sugar and nervous Tyler behind him.

/

The scene flashed over to another part of the ruined citadel, the two teams standing on opposite sides of a circle on the ground with their logos above them and the host between them.

"Pankration is an Ancient Greek martial art with _no rules_ ," Chris explained with particular emphasis on the lack of rules. "Last man standing wins the gold."

"I got this one, eh," Ezekiel said, stepping forward confidently only to be stopped by Sugar.

"Now hold on, I'm the strongest member of the team," she said, " _I'll_ be doin' this here challenge."

"Hey, what about me?" Tyler asked. "I was on the wrestling team in grade school!"

"Yeah, but we gotta save somebody fer the other challenges," his friend told him.

" _Ohh_ ," the jock said in comprehension. "Then I guess you two can go ahead."

"Ummm...I need someone from Team Universe to get involved here?" Chris asked the other three. "Anyone?"

The shot moved over to Alejandro, Sammy, and Dawn who were now in a huddle, the perspective quickly shifting to a bottom-up view from their center.

"I wouldn't want you ladies getting _hurt_ ," Alejandro offered.

"Thanks," Sammy told him plainly, "but I think we should save you for last.

"Plus," Dawn added, "Sammy and I will work better with each _other_ than with _you_."

"No offense," the cheerleader told him.

"None taken," Alejandro replied, and the three broke their huddle.

The camera moved back to its usual side view as Sammy and Dawn stepped forward. "Looks like it's us," Sammy nervously announced.

"Sold!" Chris declared, raising a finger and swiping it down like a flag. "Into the ring with all of ya!"

"This won't be _too_ bad," the cheerleader told her girlfriend as they walked forward and Alejandro walked off to the right in the background. "Right!"

"GET SUGAR'D!" the pageant queen exclaimed to a hard rock riff, the camera shifting to show her charging straight at her opponents.

Sammy and Dawn screamed and were promptly bowled over by the larger girl.

"Maybe not," the mystic said woozily, a hand on the side of her head. "I wonder how the others are doing with _their_ challenge..."

/

A light but dramatic tune played as the scene moved to a close-up of the snarling boar bear, the camera zooming out as it swiped at Staci. The wolfish girl was growling as well, and on all fours she easily jumped away then pounced at the bear. She managed to get it on its back, but before she could grab the medal it tossed her away into a pillar.

As the bear walked away the camera panned to the left to where a worried Ella was looking out from behind a different pillar. "How on _Earth_ am I going to get that medal?" she wondered aloud.

The camera zoomed out a little ways more to show Chef standing next to her. "Beats me," he shrugged.

/

Dramatic music began once more as the scene moved back to the pankration arena. Sugar and Dawn moved across the foreground, the pageant queen punching angrily at her opponent only for the moonchild to smoothly dodge each one. "C'mon," Sugar yelled, "quit bein' so slippery and start _fightin_ '!"

"I'd really rather not," Dawn replied frantically as she leaned away from yet another punch.

As they moved off-screen, Sammy and Ezekiel moved on-screen from the right. The two were facing each other and had their fists raised, but neither was making a move to attack. "So, uh, didn't your Dad tell you to protect girls or something?" Sammy asked her opponent.

"Yeah," Ezekiel answered, "but he was wrong aboot that so I'm not gonna hold back, eh." To prove his point he took a swing at Sammy, which the limber cheerleader quickly dodged.

"Well then," Sammy told him with a nervous chuckle, "in that case I guess I don't have much choice..." Ezekiel raised an eyebrow in confusion as his opponent took a breath and backed up...then swiftly kicked him between the legs. The background music stuttered and stopped as the homeschooler went down with a pained whine, and Sammy immediately told him "Sorry!" with a genuine frown on her face.

"Ooh...," Tyler winced, the challenge music resuming even though the camera moved to the sidelines, "poor Zeke. Okay Sugar," he called to his remaining teammate still in the challenge, "it's all you now! You can do it!"

"Hah," Alejandro scoffed as the shot quick-panned to the other side of the ring, "you're kidding yourself. She's outnumbered two to one!"

"Not once they stop bein' chicken I won't!" Sugar declared defiantly as the focus moved back to her and Dawn, the moonchild still dodging the pageant queen's punches though neither girl was moving as fast as they had earlier. "I mean c'mon, how do you expect to win if you never fight back?!"

"I don't _need_ to fight back to win," Dawn explained as she continued to dodge.

"Yeah, and you don't gotta fight back to _lose_ either!" Sugar replied, finally just jumping at her opponent. Unfortunately for the pageant queen Dawn managed to duck down just in time, meaning Sugar flopped down onto nothing but the bare stone floor of the arena.

It was only then that the mystic finally made a move, jumping on the larger girl's back and pinning Sugar down for just a second longer before the strong southern belle threw Dawn off and rolled onto her back.

Just in time for Sammy to land on her, both knees jutting into Sugar's stomach knocking the wind out. "I'm _really_ sorry about that," the cheerleader told her opponent as she pinned her arms for good measure.

A triumphant tune began to play as Chris walked over with a pair of medals. "That's two gold for Team Universe," the host said as he tossed both medals towards Sammy, who eagerly raised an arm to catch them, did so, and was promptly thrown off Sugar.

"Wait, _two_?" the pageant queen groaned as she got back on her feet.

"Hey, it was supposed to be a one-on-one challenge," Chris explained smugly. "But _you_ guys turned it into a team event."

"Yes!" Sammy and Dawn cheered, exchanging a high-five.

"In a world where Samey and Dawn can beat Sugar at wrestling," the host told the camera, "does Team Victory really stand a chance? Find out when we come back, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

(Fade to Credits and Back)

The episode resumed with Ella nervously backing through the odeon, trashcan lid shield clutched in front of her and eyes darting around. "Oh mister boar bear, I do wish I knew where you were!" she sang softly to herself.

It was then that she bumped into Staci, who had also been backing up. The two girls gasped, then turned around to face each other. "Oh, did you lose track of that poor boar bear already?" the singer shot. "Perhaps you're not so _strong_ after all."

"I'm stronger than _you_ are," Staci shot back.

Their argument was interrupted by an all-too-familiar ding, and the music note logo spinning into view on the bottom of the screen.

"Time for a song," Chris told them from off-screen before rapidly darting up next to them. "Please continue, this time with music! Staci, this is your first song in a while so don't slack off like in Egypt."

The wolfish girl gave him an annoyed look as he darted back to the sidelines while Ella smiled in amusement, and the music began.

~/~

[Chef started the song, sitting against a marble column with a bouzouki in his hands. He played a couple short phrases on it, then with a strum the camera moved to the gap between two columns as Ella leaned out from behind the left one and looked around warily.]

" _I guess that it's time for; some things to be aired_!"

[Chef strummed his instrument a second time as Ella sang the second half of the line, and the singer glanced sharply at Staci as the girl leaned out from the column on the right.]

" _Then just come out and say it; or are you too scared_?"

[Staci sang, a strum of the bouzouki accompanying each half of her line.]

" _What could I be scared of? I know my heart is true_."

[Ella answered, the scene moving to the princess leaning out from behind another column that was standing behind a fallen one; she walked out between them and to the right. Chef's strumming became longer here, though still with two distinct parts to match the singer's lines.]

" _Oh yah? Well then I think that my heart's true too_!"

[Staci replied, jumping up onto a second fallen column that was behind the standing one, then jumping down to the ground to follow Ella rightward.]

[The camera cut in for a close-up of a pillar in the background as Alejandro looked out from behind it, watching the girls with concern and suspicion on his face. It was then that Chef's melody became more complex, and a few other instruments entered the song.]

" _He wasn't talking to you_ ;"

[Ella sang as she walked far in front of the column Alejandro was watching from; the charmer raised an eyebrow just before the camera moved off him and onto Staci.]

" _What's that s'pposed to mean, that isn't true! Besides you have a beau_ ;"

[Alejandro showed himself again as Staci sang, leaning out from behind a different pillar as the werewolf passed it. He quickly ducked back into hiding, however, as the camera stopped with the two girls next to an interesting statue – Alejandro, depicted as Eros the God of Love complete with handsome wings, bow and quiver, and nothing but a loose rope running over one shoulder and around his waist as clothing. The charmer himself was shown looking surprised at it in a brief close-up.]

" _Well, yes, buuut, it's not our choice you knoo~o~o~ow_!"

[Ella finished with a soulful but troubled expression as the camera moved back to her, Staci, and the statue while Alejandro ducked back into hiding.]

[The scene cut to Tyler and Ezekiel listening from the sidelines as the melody briefly simplified into a single chord from Chef. "Aww man, they're singing about me, I just know it..." Tyler told his friend in a mournful tone, only for Chris to appear and shush him sharply before the melody picked up again.]

" _Let's just ask him; and make it fair_ ;"

[Staci sang in annoyance, the camera zooming out to show the two girls standing on either side of a statue of Tyler depicted as the titan Atlas, crouched down on one knee to hold up the world.]

" _We'll have to wait then, 'cause here comes that bear_!"

[Ella answered, the shot zooming in on her before she pointed in alarm at something behind her rival.]

"Whoa! _Sorry bear, you ready for round two_?"

[The boar bear was shown standing menacingly behind Staci, but the wolfish girl easily ducked under its swipe and tackled it with a cocky grin, continuing the song as she wrestled with it.]

" _I gotta stop being idle, and win this before you_!"

[Ella sang nervously, the camera moving back to her as she tried to creep around to the head of the bear and the gold medal around its neck.]

" _You've got no chance now, with the boy or the gold_!"

[Staci taunted her, the shot cutting to her sitting on the roughed-up bear's back, holding its forelegs behind it and thus pinning it painfully to the ground. The medal was still around its neck, though the gold itself was visibly on the ground next to its head.]

" _Well check again then, 'cause fortune favors the bold_!"

[Ella countered, quickly rolling forward, grabbing the medal, and leaping away gracefully before the bear could snap at her and Staci could do anything but gape. The singer quickly and excitedly rejoined the others on the sideline as the music came to an end.]

~/~

"Woo! Go Ella!" Tyler cheered as the singer ran up to the rest of the team. The three remaining members of Team Universe were behind them, Dawn and Sammy looking disappointed while Alejandro scowled. The jock held up a hand for a high five, but Ella frowned and averted her eyes leading Tyler to move his hand to the back of his neck. "Uhh...I've been really meaning to talk to you about what happened," he told her.

"Next event," Chris interrupted, bluntly walking by in front of the group. "Moving on!"

"What about the bear?" Ella asked. "Or Staci, for that matter?"

"Chef will take care of both of them," the host answered forcefully, leaning back into the shot to get into the singer's face. " _Moving on_!"

Ella shrugged half-heartedly and moved to follow him back off-screen, followed by Tyler though the jock shot an anxious in the direction Ella had come from.

The camera moved to the other members of Team Universe, Alejandro looking troubled as he stared off in the direction of the odeon as well while Dawn gave him a scrutinizing look and Sammy just looked lost.

xxx

"Interesting song," Alejandro admitted in the restroom confessional, his tone bitter as he sat with his arms crossed in front of him. "Perhaps I don't have as much control over Ella as I _thought_."

xxx

The scene cut over to a shot of the sun over the Parthenon, the camera zooming out to show the seven contestants and host gathered on the left end of a simple race track with several pairs of hurdles – half yellow and half blue - set between the starting and finish line flags.

"Welcome to the hurdles event!" Chris began. "The ultimate test of speed and flexibility. Players must leap higher and higher," he explained as the shot cut in close, then quickly began panning across the progressively taller hurdles, "over these hurdles while they race for the finish line. First one across wins the gold!" he said as the shot landed on the finish line tape.

"And since Tyler and Alejandro are the only two yet to compete, they'll be going head to head!" the host added before the shot panned over to the two competitors in question.

"Hah! Fast and flexible are my middle names!" Tyler boasted, contorting himself by throwing his legs back over his shoulders as he had in London.

"Glad to hear it, my friend," Alejandro replied confidently. "I was worried this wouldn't be a _challenge_." Tyler raised an eyebrow at the charmer's smug look, then with a grand tune he put his hands on his hips, raised his left leg straight up, lowered himself into splits, then tied part of his hair back into a ponytail with his booted feet.

Tyler was gaping and bug-eyed as Alejandro lifted himself back up all without using his hands.

xxx

"Oh _my_ ," Ella told the restroom camera with a wide-eyed blush.

xxx

"I...," Ella began, raising her finger as if to speak to the two boys set to compete, but she quickly faltered. "Umm...I...oh...mmm..."

"It's okay if you root for your Tyler," Alejandro told her, flashing a charming smile. "He _is_ merely your teammate after all. Unless I am... _mistaken_...?" he added, giving her a half-expectant look as the word hung there.

"Oh, no, he's just a teammate," she told him, "and a _friend_ of course, but that's true for everyone."

Tyler was shown looking down in disappointment while Alejandro gave him a knowing grin, then the shot cut over to Sugar as she pursed her lips and scowled.

/

The footage flashed ahead to a side view of the two boys at the starting line, Alejandro closer to the background with Tyler in the fore.

"On your mark," Chris began, raising an airhorn as a sharp dramatic note started off the challenge music. "Get set," the host said, the two boys sharing one last glance as the suddenly soft music began to build up.

The airhorn was blown, and the two boys took off with the music. Alejandro gained the lead even before they leaped over the first set of hurdles and widening it as they passed the next two.

"Don't worry," Alejandro said cockily as he turned around to run backwards while maintaining his lead, "if you ask nicely I may allow you to borrow my medal if you'd like to look like a winner." Tyler didn't react, his face set into a determined frown.

The shot cut to the others watching from the sidelines, with a particular focus on Sammy and Dawn. "This is _good_ , right?" she hesitantly asked her girlfriend. "I mean, Alejandro's got the gold for sure!"

The camera cut back to Alejandro, who was now running on his hands. He easily flipped over the next set of hurdles and landed on his hands with Tyler still about a foot behind him and still looking determined.

"Focus, Alejandro!" Sammy called out as the camera moved back to the sidelines again, now showing all three remaining members of Team Victory watching nervously.

Still running on his hands as the shot moved back to the race, Alejandro flipped over the next hurdle and landed right-side up. "Relax, chicas!" he called back to his teammates. "Victory is at hand!"

In the few seconds he wasn't watching where he was going he smacked right into the next hurdle, which was at about head height. Tyler managed to leap over it head-first, but landed in a clumsy roll that nevertheless took him well past his rival.

"Go Tyler!" Ezekiel cheered, the girls he was standing beside joining in. Alejandro gasped and rubbed his forehead in pain, then quickly moved to catch up.

Tyler was shown running as fast as he could; he looked back and the camera zoomed out to show Alejandro rapidly coming up behind him and both boys approaching the finish line. The faced forward again and grit his teeth, speeding up but losing his balance doing so. The camera showed him tripping over his own leg at the last moment, but he was close enough it didn't matter – he stumbled and tumbled through the tape first, landing in a heap but raising his fist with a triumphant "Yeah!"

"No!" Alejandro cried, dropping to his knees and sliding past Tyler.

"A gold for Team Victory!" Chris announced, holding up the medal as the challenge music finally reached its conclusion and the camera panned to the other contestants.

"Nailed it!" Sugar cheered, Ezekiel looking similarly excited while Ella smiled more modestly and Sammy groaned in disappointment.

/

The scene flashed over to Staci wiping the sweat from her furry brow, the camera zooming out to show her tying the last knot in a rope around a large rock. "That should do it, yah," she said, hopping down and clapping the dust from her hands as she walked to the right, following the rope to the unconscious boar bear. "Good thing my great-Aunt Betsy invented forty-two types of knot, right?" She looked over at Chef for an answer, but he only rolled his eyes.

She put her hands on her hips as she looked around, looking somewhat lost before pointing a clawed finger back to the left. "Hey is the rest of my team that way?" she asked Chef.

"Beats me," the man shrugged. "You might wanna get goin' though."

Staci nodded cheerfully, then turned and ran in the direction she'd pointed to.

/

The scene cut back to the Parthenon, the hurdles equipment now gone but the contestants still assembled in front of it, Chris standing atop a ruined staircase, and Staci running up to them.

"Sorry I'm late," she told them as the camera cut in closer, "the bear took a while to tie up. What happened while I was gone?"

"Well, me and Dawn beat Zeke and Sugar at wrestling," Sammy explained, "but then Alejandro lost to Tyler in hurdles so we're tied." Alejandro immediately looked away to hide his shame. "But...did you say you tied up that bear? Like, by yourself?"

"Huh? Oh, yah," Staci admitted proudly. "I mean Chef gave me the rope, but I did all the work."

"Oh...," Sammy said, exchanging surprised looks with her teammates.

xxx

"Okay, it's kinda weird saying this about Staci," Sammy confessed, "but that was actually believable. Like... _scarily_ believable."

xxx

"Can we focus on the game please?" Chris said as the static cut to him on the ruined staircase, a light but ominous tune starting in the background. "It's time for the dreaded _tiebreaker_!"

The sound of something being wheeled towards the group from off-screen filled the air as the camera panned across the faces of the campers, which were slowly becoming confused. "Uhh...what's with the giant chicken wings?" Sugar asked.

"Glad you asked," Chris said with his trademark smile, the shot moving back to him as the white intern from earlier wheeled a large flatbed cart over. A pair angelic-looking wings attached to harness sat on stands on the cart. "Chef spent over _one_ hour building two sets of wings out of wax, and the feathers we find in the plane's engine," Chris explained. "One member from each team must strap on the wings and take flight," he pointed upwards, "all the way up _there_."

The camera panned upward, quickly speeding up to make it to a gold medal hanging from a hook. Zooming out, the hook was revealed to be the end of a crane extending above the Parthenon, the gold gleaming in the sun.

"Whoever snags the gold medal outta the sky wins the Olympics and first class passage for their team," the host said.

"Sounds...kind of dangerous," Sammy spoke up.

"Not at all," Chris said as the camera moved back on him and the wings promptly fell to bits with a deep chanted note. The intern quickly wheeled the cart away, then came back with a leafblower which he put in reverse and sucked up the pile of feathers with. "We're gonna need some more wax!" Chris called off-screen before turning back to the contestants and rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "So, who's goin' up?"

"I guess I'll do it, eh," Ezekiel volunteered for Team Victory. "Gotta make up for my loss earlier." He looked around at his teammates, Sugar giving him an odd smile while Ella looked concerned and Tyler placed an encouraging hand on his shoulder.

"And Team Universe?" the host asked. "Who's goin'?"

"Ooh, I will!" Staci volunteered, raising her hand enthusiastically.

"Are you sure?" Alejandro asked with a skeptical look.

"Yah, I've got plenty of energy to spare," Staci answered proudly.

"Aaand since it's a tiebreaker," Chris spoke up, "before you two strap on your wings, please slip into these authentic Spartan battle costumes!" The camera pulled back from him, showing the red cloth draped over each arm.

"Uhhh..." Ezekiel and Staci said, sharing a nervous look.

/

The footage flashed ahead to a slow upwards pan of the two competitors, revealing the matching costumes they now wore – open sandals; bronze greaves and armbands; short olive-colored skirts; the wing harness; and a red cape clasped with a bronze clasp. Staci also wore a short olive-colored tanktop that appeared to be of the same material as the skirt.

"Wow, you two look like a couple of weirdos!" Sugar laughed during the pan before the camera cut over to her grinning, Tyler looking uncomfortable, and Ella covering her eyes in embarrassment.

"Those costumes are _not_ authentic," Alejandro said, the shot moving over to Team Universe.

"Was _any_ part of this challenge really authentic?" Sammy pointed out, earning a blank look from Alejandro.

"Good point," he admitted. "Still, at least this should be an easy win for us considering how strong Staci has become."

"Yeah...," Sammy said, anxiously rubbing her arm. "Staci looks pretty hard to beat in challenges."

" _Indeed_ ," Alejandro said, his expression growing thoughtful.

The camera cut to a close-up of a burning marshmallow on the tip of an arrow, the shot pulling back to show it and the bow in the hands of Chris. "On your marks," he announced, drawing the arrow back an inch.

"Well this ain't good," Sugar told her teammates. "We're gonna lose unless somethin' throws the werewolf off her game!"

"What, you think Zeke can't do this on his own?" Tyler asked accusingly.

"Not really," Sugar admitted in a hushed but blunt tone as she threw an arm around the jock and pulled him close. "Now I don't know why you think it's okay to play with two girl's hearts, but since one of 'em is about to fly up and win this challenge I figure _you_ got the best shot at distractin' her."

Tyler's brow shot up in surprise, the camera following his gaze over to the two competitors – Ezekiel was busy looking upwards in dread, while Staci had taken the opportunity to wave flirtatiously at him.

"Get set," Chris announced, aiming his bow up and drawing the string back even further as a few dramatic beats played.

The camera cut back to Tyler and Sugar, the former looking shocked and anxious. "But how can I distract her when I'm not even in love with her?" he asked as the dramatic music continued to build. "It was all just a misunderstanding!"

Sugar glared at him in annoyance. "Then just tell her that! It'll mess her up _and_ get her off yer back!"

"Oh," Tyler replied blankly.

"GO!" Chris announced, releasing his arrow. The camera immediately moved down to Ezekiel and Staci, who grabbed the handles on their fake wings and began to flap. Staci, as expected, took the lead immediately.

"You can do it Staci!" Alejandro called out from the sidelines.

"Don't give up, Ezekiel!" Ella called out as well, the shot showing the homeschooler making decent progress on his flight but struggling to keep Staci from pulling further and further ahead. "Show that she-wolf who the _real_ Olympians are!" she added, holding up the gold medal hanging around her neck.

"And _you_ show her how you really feel!" Sugar hissed to Tyler before shoving him forward into the open.

Neither Staci nor Ezekiel had noticed and kept flying as the dramatic music continued, and Tyler gulped nervously. He took a look back over at Ella who was biting her lip nervously, then looked away and took a deep breath.

"Staci, stop!" he called out, gaining the attention of both competitors.

"Hi sweetie!" Staci smiled happily. "Sorry, but I'm totally gonna have to beat your teammate, yah. I hope it doesn't come between us."

"There _is_ no us!" Tyler replied forcefully, shocking the wolfish girl.

"Wha...what do you mean?" Staci asked nervously. "We're in love, so like of course there's an us!"

"No," Tyler told her, "we're not. What happened in London was a _mistake_ , okay? I had no idea the Ripper was you, so when I said all that stuff I was only looking at you to be, y'know, _cool_ and stuff."

"Wha...really?" Staci gasped, tears beginning to well up as she continued to flap in mid-air; Ezekiel managed to pass her without her noticing.

"Yeah," Tyler nodded. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, okay? But I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with _Ella_ ," he said, eyes locked on Staci while he motioned towards the singer, who had started to blush.

"But...but...," Staci stammered, now starting to fall back down as her flaps became slower and slower.

"Fly, Staci, _fly_!" Alejandro quickly called out to her. "Channel your feelings towards Tyler's horrible _betrayal_ of you into the challenge, and get your revenge through _victory_!"

Staci's face immediately contorted into a angry scowl. " _Yah_ ," she said, "just like Granny Agnes said, if a boy hurts you then you hurt him right back! And I'll start with your _friend_!" She began flapping again, and quickly rose off the screen.

The shot quick-panned up to Ezekiel, who was looking down in wide-eyed dread. "Oh no, this isn't good," he told himself.

xxx

"Remind me never to cheese off a werewolf, eh," Ezekiel confessed. "Havin' one mad at my buddy was bad enough."

xxx

The dramatic music resumed as a long-distance shot was shown of the two competitors nearing close to the medal, Ezekiel still hanging on to his lead. The camera cut in closer to show Staci growling angrily up at her opponent, who in turn turned a nervous whimper from her up to the prize. Both of their wings were shedding feathers with each flap, and Alejandro picked one out of the air as it floated down to the ground.

"Their wings are molting!" he announced in alarm.

"That's not good...," Sammy added, looking up in concern while Dawn maintained her neutral expression.

"Tyler's gonna _regret_ leading me on!" Staci yelled up at Ezekiel.

"I think he already does!" Ezekiel replied in a panic. "I know I do!"

"Then give up so I can share the pain he's caused me!" Staci said, her head now at the same level as her opponent's legs.

"No!" Ezekiel replied frantically, flapping harder to get away. Staci scowled and did the same, and the shot pulled back as the feather on both sets of wings began to rapidly degrade just as the two were almost in reach of the medal.

Both contestants noticed the situation when they were about neck-and-neck, and they gasped. The screen split as the two opened their jaws and reached out to grab the medal with their teeth, the images sliding away to show their respective wings degrading into uselessness. Then the split itself opened up, pushing the shots of the wings away in favor of a single shot of the gleaming gold medal just as Ezekiel bit onto it, and Staci fell short.

"NOOOO!" she cried, the camera shifting above her as she plummeted.

She landed on her back on the ground near where Chris was standing, earning a wince from the host. "Nasty!" he said with a grimace.

"Urggh...," Staci groaned as she sat up, rubbing her head in pain. "That hurt, but not as much as what _Tyler_ did." She sent a glare over at the jock, who gulped nervously. "You're gonna pay for leading me on!" she told him as she tried to get up.

"I didn't lead you _anywhere_ ," Tyler said defensively, "you lead _yourself!_ "

Staci just snarled at him, but naturally she was interrupted by Ezekiel falling right on top of her with the medal in his hands, forcing her back to the ground with a pained grunt and ending the dramatic music.

"Team Victory wins!" Chris announced before turning to wave at the other members of Team Universe. "And the losers are heading back to the elimination room for the second time in a row."

"Hrmm..." Alejandro murmured in annoyance, unaware that Sammy and Dawn were sharing a looking behind his back.

/

The footage skipped ahead, the plane now flying towards the west against the setting sun. A flash took the scene to first class, where Tyler and Ezekiel were sitting at the juice bar.

"Great job, man," the jock congratulated his friend, who was wearing the gold medal he'd won around his neck.

"Thanks! Couldn't've done it with you, eh," Ezekiel replied with a cheesy grin before leaning in and whispering "And congratulations fer clearin' things up with Ella."

"Thanks," Tyler repeated, turning a soft smile to the side – the camera rotated to show his viewpoint, revealing Ella seated in a window seat with a thoughtful frown on her lips and a faint blush on her cheeks.

/

The background music turned slightly dark as the scene flashed to a hallways just as Alejandro stepped out of a bathroom; he was immediately confronted by Sammy and Dawn.

"Hello ladies," he greeted with a smile, "come to talk about the vote?"

"Yeah," Sammy admitted. "We're voting Staci, right? I mean, I'm not voting for you since we're in an alliance, and I refuse to vote for _Dawn_ , so there's not any other choice." Dawn nodded calmly.

"But of course," he told them before turning to walk away.

He was stopped by Sammy grabbed his arm. "And by 'voting Staci', I mean you're _actually_ gonna honor our alliance vote for Staci and not just say you are then team up with her to vote out me or Dawn like I know you were thinking."

Alejandro raised an eyebrow in amusement. "I suppose it _was_ a little obvious," he told them. "But why _shouldn't_ I side with her tonight?"

"Well, you saw how scary she was today," Sammy answered. "She was only _barely_ beaten both times, and she took out all of us in London. We might not have another chance to vote her out before the teams merge and she starts winning invincibility."

"Hmmm...," Alejandro said, rubbing his chin in thought, "fair point, I'll consider it."

"Okay then, thanks," Sammy smiled, "that's all I wanted to say." She turned around and left, but Dawn did not.

"I take it you have something to add?" Alejandro asked, raising an eyebrow at the mystic.

"Only that if Staci stays around long enough to find out that you've been deceiving Ella like she believes Tyler deceived her," Dawn answered calmly, "she _won't_ be happy with you. And if Sammy or myself are eliminated this evening, I imagine Staci will find out _very_ quickly." Alejandro's eyes immediately widened with alarm, and as Dawn turned to leave the camera zoomed in on the charmer's nervous face and a few tense notes played.

/

The scene cut to a four-way split screen, each partition showing one member of Team Universe in the restroom confessional with passports spread out on the counter in front of them. Dawn and Sammy on the top row made their decisions quickly, as did Staci in the lower right, but Alejandro in the lower left hesitated for a second or two before stamping his vote.

xxx

Static transitioned the scene to the elimination room, a few opening drumbeats playing as Chris walked up to the four teens present with a smile on his face.

"Sooo, here we are. Let's look at why!" he said, the team's logo spinning onto the screen above the host. "Staci volunteered for, and _lost_ , the tiebreaker, which is why you're all here." He pointed to the wolfish girl on the far left of the line the team was sitting in, then walked over to the open door where Chef was waiting with a parachute pack. "Plus, she _also_ volunteered for and lost the scavenger hunt, making her zero for two." Staci hung her head, her long ears drooping sadly.

"Alejandro blew it in the hurdles, which forced the tiebreaker, _which_ is why you're all here," Chris continued. "Plus, he knocked _himself_ out cold trying to show off. And all this while his hair was in a ponytail!"

"What does my _hair_ have to-" Alejandro protested before the host cut him off.

"And Dawn spent all of _her_ challenge running away, forcing her girlfriend to do all the work," Chris said. "I'd say you weren't very helpful today."

Dawn shrugged. "You have a warped sense of what's helpful, so I'm not concerned."

Chris briefly frowned in annoyance before resuming his usual smile. "Your choice is pretty clear," he said as he held up the four passports and walked over to where Chef was waiting with a dark grin on his face as the music ramped up in tension. "And today, with three out of four votes against her, the Drop of Shame will be taken by... _Staci_."

"What?!" the wolfish girl gasped, standing up in shock and casting a hurt look at Alejandro. "But...but I thought we had an alliance!"

"We did," Alejandro said with false sadness, "but I'm afraid your losses today make it _impossible_ to justify keeping you around with the team as small as it is. I'm truly sorry you weren't able stay around longer."

Staci pouted, then turned around sharply and crossed her arms. "Yah, I see how it is. You never wanted me around to begin with, did you, just like _Tyler_ never loved me. I'm just some big _joke_ to you, aren't I?" The three remaining members of Team Universe shared a nervous look, but Staci never turned back to face them. "Well you know what? I'm not gonna just sit here and take it."

"Yeah," Chris told her sternly, "that's because we're kicking you off the plane again." He nodded at Chef, who grinned darkly then took a step forward, slammed the parachute pack onto Staci while she was off her guard, then grabbed her by the shoulders, swung her around to the open door, and drop-kicked her out of the plane.

Chris paused with a happy smile as he listened to Staci's angry howl, then clasped his hands behind his back and turned to the camera. "How much more drama will be milked out of teenage love before this season is over?" he asked as the series' capstone theme began to play. "Find out right here, on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The scene faded in from black, the background music immediately turning deep and ominous as the camera zoomed in on the left wing of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet.

Staci was clinging to the edge of it with nothing but her teeth, her parachute pack undeployed. She raised her right hand and extended sharp, gleaming claws, then grabbed hold of the wing. She did the same with her left hand, then released her bite and dragged herself forward.

"Like I'm gonna let you just drop me off _here_ ," she said bitterly as she pulled herself up along the wing. "My great-great-great-great-great Uncle Percival _invented_ stowing away," she added, "and _he_ wasn't even a _werewolf_. I might be totally done with all of you, but I am _not_ gonna just let you do whatever you want to me."

She continued to pull herself along for a few seconds, the only sounds being the howling wind and her claws puncturing the metal wing, before she muttered "Yah, you could've at _least_ given me a ride back to _Canada_!"

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And thus ends Staci's second bit of time on World Tour. She's done her part, which is to say she's catalyzed some advances between Ella and Tyler and Alejandro, and now she's going away again until she's needed. I hope nobody is terribly disappointed. Though to be honest the same could be said of my not including the 'This Intern' gag that a couple reviewers were looking forward to.

The challenges were pretty fun to write, though it was a little wonky figuring out why Chris would want to set up things as one vs one matches when the teams are more balanced. I eventually decided that he just wanted them to be one vs one regardless, and would make up whatever excuse he felt like to justify it.

Ella and Staci volunteering for the scavenger hunt was a no brainer - Staci wants to show off, while Ella's aware that as the weakest member of her team a scavenger hunt would probably be her best bet at helping. It also lead into a song I've been looking forward to for some time now; it follows the same melody as the canon song, but with such a different subject I'm fine with the title being either 'Fight for Love' or simply 'Greek Shuffled Mix' (or something like that). I hope you all enjoyed it; making that song happen is one of the big reasons I mixed the teams up as I did - I wanted to make sure Ella and Staci would be on opposite teams.

The participants for the second challenges was also a no-brainer, since Tyler vs Alejandro was the best round three it thus fell to the remainder to wrestle it out. Hopefully I made Sammy and Dawn's win believable. Same with Tyler's win over Alejandro; he did still end up tripping and stumbling in true Tyler fashion, but he still managed to pull through as Alejandro got cocky and showed off like in canon.

And the tiebreaker...well, it had to happen. Things are finally cleared up with Staci and Ella, plus Ezekiel gets a moment to shine after getting kicked in the kiwis earlier. I hope Staci's elimination made sense - I did my best to establish her as a legitimate challenge threat despite losing twice, and also scary enough to make Alejandro wary of keeping her around after Dawn's, ah, 'warning'.

And, well, that's it for this week. Next time will be the third quarter finale in Sweden, so I hope you'll all look forward to it.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (17th Place)

Lightning - (16th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (15th Place)

Geoff - (14th Place)

Scott - (13th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (12th Place)

Sierra - (11th Place)

DJ - (10th Place)

Shawn - (9th Place)

Staci - (8th Place)


	17. Chapter 17 - Sweden Sour

**Author's Note**

And here we are at the third quarter finale, everybody! I'm honestly not expecting it to be as great as the other two quarter finales - it _is_ pretty hard to top the drama of Lightning getting eliminated and Dawn leaving mysteriously, then Scott getting disqualified and Scarlett getting voted out only to stowaway. But still, I feel like this is a suitable ending to the mini-arc that's been running since episode 13; I know it's not an arc that everyone has necessarily enjoyed, but it's something that needs to be done.

Next week, of course, is the third Aftermath - and the Second Chance Challenge, which is mostly but not entirely finished. I could technically change who ends up winning it and thus coming back in Niagara Brawls, but I'd need an extremely good argument against bringing in the person I've been pretty openly planning on bringing into the game.

I will also note that I've been rethinking the order of the final quarter's eliminations, in terms of who would actually vote for who. As such, my original plans may end up changing.

For now, it's on to the reviews.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Yeah, I never intended for Staci to last very long after her return, so I'm glad you're happy about it. And I'm even more glad that you like Ella! I can see what you mean about the episode being primarily challenge-based, since as you said the main conflict was between Ella and Staci, with the other conflicts (Tyler vs Alejandro; Sugar vs Ella) being present but not nearly as much. This week's location is Sweden, by the way, and as for who will win the Second Chance Challenge, unless someone presents a very good argument why not it'll be Blaineley.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Yeah, I know. But I was never gonna let her get past this quarter anyway. In the original plan for the season, where the locations this quarter weren't shuffled, she still would've debuted in London but would probably have gotten eliminated in Area 51. But since I changed things around to give Scarlett an earlier boot, that meant Staci had to have a shorter stay.

 **Animation Adventures:** Thanks! Yeah, last week was a bit of a breather, but I really enjoyed having Ella show off a side that isn't her usual cheery friend-to-all-living-things self. Same with Tyler actually trying to think, even if he needed the help/advice of Ezekiel and Sugar to really get where he wanted to be. And as for Staci...well, she's not gonna lose her sanity, that's for sure. It's the one thing I don't want to do with her. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the song and thanks for the review as always.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks! I was a little uncertain how people would take the wins, especially Sammy and Dawn winning the wrestling competition. And I honestly wasn't even thinking about the parallels between Staci and Courtney last week, but now that you've pointed them out I kinda like it.

 **Zak Saturday:** Hmm...well, she certainly believes that's what she is at least.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Glad to hear it! I'm also glad I was able to capture her innocence and her anger as well, since it really helps flesh out her character. I'm glad you liked the fact that it was an elimination last week; as you said they didn't handle the canon non-elimination very well at all. And as for what happens next between Alejandro and Ella, well you'll just have to read on to find out.

 **ferguson97:** While I can see why people would expect Staci to stick around a little longer, the main point in bringing her back was to help advance whole situation between Ella and Tyler. And since Tyler managed to clear things up pretty fast, I didn't have anything that would warrant keeping her around longer even if it would mean not needing a contestant entering the game in Niagara Brawls. As for what happens in the next few episodes...well, you'll just have to wait and see.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Well, the rest of the cast think she's gone at least. And yeah, Tyler's finally managed to clear things up with Ella. What becomes of it, though, has yet to be seen. And yeah, Sweden actually isn't that different without the Gwen Head being built. Though the song, at least, is different.

 **aloasa:** Oh, I don't think Staci will be going berserk or anything. She's mad, but mostly she just doesn't want anything more to do with the rest of the cast. And...I'm actually kind of surprised that you're rooting for Alejandro to win here. I mean, I like Aleheather myself, but what's happening between him and Ella isn't even close to the dynamic of Aleheather. But hey, to each their own.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Yeah, it was pretty fun finally writing Ella as something other than just nice and (mostly) happy. And as for Staci seeming almost too angry...well, to be honest I've never been incredibly sure of how to write her. Maybe she was just really caught up in the moment; maybe her changes have affected her emotions; who knows. But I think she'll calm down and keep her wits while stowing away, at the very least. And I'm afraid you'll have to wait two weeks from _today_ for the first post-merge boot, not two weeks from last week.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yup, that's pretty much it for Staci. She was good while she lasted, and she set things in motion a bit, but ultimately I didn't want her to stay for too long. I could have kept her until Sweden, like you said, or even the merge, as others have suggested, but honestly I just wasn't feeling it. Both of those episodes have other things to end on, though I'm not gonna spoil them now. I am glad that you're really enjoying Ezekiel and Sugar, despite the latter in particular being on the backburner right now. Sugar I've just been having fun with all season, while Ezekiel is someone I've had some uncertainties about in the past with how to write him, but which I'm glad to have ironed out.

 **bruno14:** I'm happy you liked the goings-on last chapter. The friendship between Tyler and Ezekiel is something I'm really glad I got to work in particular, since they are such a weird couple of people and were never really friends in canon.

 **FOWLKON:** Okay, I'll surprise you by stating that I'll be taking the obvious route, at least for Tanzania. I hope you enjoy what happens with Tyler, Ella, Alejandro, and Sugar this week, and as for your questions...well, I'm almost certainly going for the obvious routes there as well.

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, I'm glad you liked Ezekiel at least. I'm gonna shrug off the comment about Sammy getting eliminated over Staci because, well, I just like Sammy more than you and had never intended on letting Staci get to the merge in the first place. Although I will reiterate that Staci _is_ stowing away, just as it was clearly implied at the end of last chapter. As for what happens next...well, you'll just have to read on and find out.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Yeah, in the original Ella was definitely meant to be an incredibly nice and naive girl, but she also wasn't meant to last very long before getting voted out. So while I've spent the majority of this season staying pretty true to her canon portrayal, I've also been trying to give her more depth - in this case, being rather aggressive towards Staci. Glad you're liking Alejandro being conflicted as well, it's something I've wanted to show with him this season so it's nice to know that my reviewers are seeing it. And you're certainly right that he's still a great source of drama.

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks! I'm glad you liked how the challenges ended. I wasn't certain how people would feel, especially since the 'underdog' won all three, but it looks like the wins were humorous enough that it didn't matter. I hope you enjoy the third quarter finale!

 **Knifez:** I can honestly see why you think I'm copping out with Staci only lasting for a short time, but it's not something I'm really bothered by. Like I told Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart, she would have originally lasted an episode longer overall back when the locations for this quarter weren't shuffled, debuting in London still but then leaving probably two episodes later in Area 51 with Scarlett. So when I changed things around to get rid of Scarlett earlier, Staci ended up getting the shaft since I had other priorities I wanted to focus on in place of extending Staci's stay - I wanted Australia right after London to give Dawn her song, and I had something else in mind for the end of this week's episode that wouldn't give time for a Staci boot. I suppose I could have kept her around until the merge and boot her in Niagara, but for one I didn't think of it earlier and for two I'm not sure what I would have even done.  
THE idea of having Sugar being the one doing the kissing honestly didn't even occur to me, but it's actually a pretty good idea. It would work a little differently, of course, because there'd now be tension between Ella and Sugar earlier than I had planned...but I think I would have at least given it some than that I'm really glad you liked the challenge, and that Ezekiel and Alejandro were more enjoyable - hopefully I can keep it up. Glad you liked Dawn's line about Alejandro as well, since it really captures what I've been trying to portray with Alejandro's uncertainties towards Ella.  
ALSO hoping that the missing words last week were a fluke. Other than that, thanks for the review!

 **DSX62415:** Good to hear! And yeah, of course Staci would cause trouble. But you don't have to worry about her going feral; the reason I made her all wolfish was specifically so that her going feral could be avoided.

 **Guest D:** Yeah, so did several people it seems. Oh well, it just wasn't in the plan for her. And as for next season, I'm sorry but you'll just have to wait until the first episode to learn the identities of the cast. I will say that I'll be continuing my trend of replacing the word 'Drama' in the title with 'Shuffled', making next season Total Shuffled Revenge of the Island.

 **Joel Connell:** Like I've said before, the cast for All-Stars will be my call. I am toying with the idea of putting up a poll at the end of this season asking who people _would_ have chosen or are _expecting_ to be chosen, though, just to make sure I'm not completely off-base with my picks.

 **wifishark:** Ehh, common sense isn't necessarily Staci's problem so much as not really understanding how others see her. That's what I think, anyway.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** That's understandable, although I will say right now that Scarlett's not a threat to anyone and that Staci is planned, at least, to show up in Africa taking Zeke's place as the target the Final Five have to capture. Not entirely sure what I want to do with Hawaii yet, however. Staci's changes are likely permanent, but that isn't to say she won't get a fairly happy ending at the end of it all. I'm glad you liked Ezekiel's win last week; like you said sometimes he should get to be a hero.

That's all for this batch of reviews. As always, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next.

The Final Seven, as they currently stand, are as follows:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Tyler, Ella, Sugar

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Dawn

This week, we're off to Sweden for some weird Viking 'fun' and the third quarter finale. I hope you enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 17 – Sweden Sour**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris opened, the plane icon flying across the world map towards Greece before a clip of the Parthenon from the hurdles event was shown. "Greece! Hey, it was ruined before we got there." Ella and Staci were shown walking through the columns of the Odeon of Pericles during their song, and were followed by Tyler's victory over Alejandro in the hurdles event. "Here, we learned that Tyler isn't a _total_ klutz after all, and is actually kind of good at a few sports."

"We also learned that despite her new look, Staci isn't _quite_ as unbeatable as she seemed," Chris added over shots of Ella grabbing the medal from the boar bear that Staci had pinned, followed by Ezekiel getting a lead on her in the tiebreaker. "Although she was still pretty scary, _especially_ after Tyler told her he wasn't in love with her." A clip of her wrestling with the bear was followed by he jock's nervous confession during the tiebreaker, and then Staci's angry reaction to it.

"In the end, both of those reasons proved to be Staci's downfall when Team Universe lost," Ezekiel was shown landing on the fallen Staci with a gold medal in his hands, then the four members of the team cast their votes, and finally Chef grabbed Staci and punted her off the plane.

"Seven are left," he said as the montage ended and the camera cut to the cockpit. "Who's gonna take control, and who will be a sitting duck? Find out now, on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" As the camera zoomed outside to show the plane against the blue sky, a flock of geese passed above the plane.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened, as usual, on a shot of the plane in flight; the background music was oddly dramatic, however, as the scene flashed inside to economy class. A rat scurried out from a hole in the wall under one of the benches, and it was quickly scooped up by Dawn. "Why hello little one," she said to it, looking over it with Sammy, "are you hungry?"

"I think there's still some leftovers from lunch around," Sammy offered, standing up and pointing a thumb over her shoulder, "I'll go get something."

"Thanks!" Dawn smiled. The camera panned over to Alejandro, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and his eyes rolling.

xxx

"I'm not saying that voting Staci off last time was a _mistake_ ," he told the confessional camera, "but I _am_ in a bad position right now. I don't think _anybody_ could break Dawn and Sammy apart, so I must make it my goal to continue winning until the merge. But even then," he considered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "I may still not be in an ideal position. I _must_ regain Ella's loyalty," he said, pounding a fist onto his open hand.

xxx

"So, I wonder what's gonna happen on Team Victory now that Ella knows that Tyler's in love with her?" Sammy asked her girlfriend, her voice loud enough to earn an unnoticed scowl from Alejandro. "Do you think maybe they'll get together?"

"Well...maybe," Dawn said after a bit of thought.

"I hope they do," Sammy said. "Although I'm not sure what'll happen then. I mean, Tyler and Ezekiel are pretty close, right? So that might mean they'll vote out Sugar, but after everything that's happened to her this season I'm not sure I want that to happen, you know?"

"Mmm...Sugar _has_ certainly been involved with a lot of drama this season," Dawn mused.

"Well as _tragic_ as Sugar getting eliminated might be," Alejandro spoke up with a bit of sarcasm in his voice, "I'd still prefer losing _her_ over losing _Ella_."

"Oh, so does that mean you wouldn't mind Ella being with Tyler if it meant she lasted longer in the game?" Dawn asked with an eerie quickness and a piercing smile.

"What?" Alejandro flustered. "As though I'd ever want to lose her love to that _clown_ of an athlete. If anything, _he_ should be the next one voted off!"

Dawn raised an eyebrow at him and smiled.

xxx

"He doesn't realize it yet," Dawn told the restroom camera, "but Alejandro is _not_ as opposed to the idea of Ella and Tyler together as he wants us to believe. However...," her smile turned slightly sad, "even if he _does_ figure it out, I don't believe this will end how any of them want. I... _may_ have to take some things into my own hands."

xxx

The scene moved to first class, where the four members of Team Victory were seated around a table enjoying a large plate of chocolate chip cookies.

"Mmm," Tyler said as he bit into a cookie and savored the flavor, " _man_ I love bein' in first class! Everything here is just so sweet," he turned and grinned at Ella, who had been sitting quietly looking down in thought, "though none of it's as sweet as _you_ ," he told her.

"Oh, thank you," she said, slightly startled as she looked up with a blush. "You're very sweet too, Tyler."

"Heheh, thanks," the jock replied with a dopey grin.

"Yo," Ezekiel spoke up, "here's to such a great team, eh," he said, raising a cookie as if to toast. "I hope the four of us stick together all the way to the end!"

"Totally," Tyler said.

"Oh, that would be lovely, wouldn't it Sugar?" Ella added, looking at the pageant queen.

"Yeah, sure," Sugar said, considerably less enthusiastic than her teammates.

xxx

"Man, why did Tyler have to go and pick _Ella_ to be sweet on?" Sugar huffed. "If she decides to play along, then it's gonna be next to impossible to get Tyler to vote her off. I gotta convince her to stay with Al, without lettin' her catch on to me knowin' she's wilier than she looks, or the boys figurin' out I don't want Ella and Tyler together. This is gonna be _tricky_..."

xxx

"Still," Sugar told her teammates as the footage cut back to first class, "I sure am glad to be up here and not back in stanky ol' _loser class_ again. The folks back there got it _rough_! All cold and lonely and _hungry_ , probably thinkin' the four of us done forgot about 'em!"

"Oh my...I hadn't thought of _that_ ," Ella said with a worried look.

"Really?" Sugar asked in false shock. "Even with that boy you've been chasin' after the whole season back there?" She shook her head and tutted. "Ella, I am disappointed in you. How can you be so cruel to Alejandro after everything he's done for ya?"

"Oh...yes, you're right," the princess said. "I think I'll just go back to economy and apologize." She stood up, grabbed a few cookies, and started to walk away.

"Wait," Tyler spoke up, causing her to pause, "c'mon, you don't have to apologize! I'm _sure_ Alejandro gets why you've stayed up here."

"Perhaps," Ella told him, "but I'd still like to go all the same. I'll just be a few minutes." She turned and left at that, leaving Tyler to slump in disappointment.

"Yo, why'd you have to go and say that eh?" Ezekiel asked Sugar. "I thought you didn't want Ella and Alejandro to be together."

"Well I don't," Sugar answered with a hint of nervousness. "But she's gotta do this _proper_ and not just start returnin' Tyler's feelings before she's broken things off with Al. Of course," she added after raising her arms into a helpless shrug and looking away from her teammates, "the way I see it she's still gotta make a _choice_ between Tyler and Al to start with, and who knows how _that'll_ turn out."

Tyler sighed. "Man, I _really_ hope she picks me."

/

"Hello everyone," Ella said meekly as she walked into economy class with several cookies in hand, "sorry if I'm intruding on anything."

"My dear Ella," Alejandro replied, quickly standing up to meet her, "it is _always_ a pleasure to see you. But tell me, what brings you back here?"

"Oh, I just felt a little _guilty_ knowing you were all back here while I got to enjoy first class," Ella answered, blushing as she looked directly at the charmer. "So I decided to come back spread a little cheer around. Cookie?" she asked, holding up one of the sweets she'd brought.

"Ah, Ella, your kindness knows no bounds," Alejandro told her, taking the cookie in one hand and Ella's freed hand in the other. "I'm truly lucky to have met you," he added, kissing her hand and causing her to blush and flutter her eyelashes.

"Certainly," Dawn spoke up suddenly, the camera pulling back to show that she'd somehow gotten behind Ella, startling both the singer and the charmer. "A soul as pure as Ella's is _very_ rare," she added, quickly swiping two cookies from Ella then walking past her and Alejandro. "So pure, in fact, that even the darkest of hearts might not want to tarnish it!" she locked eyes with Alejandro as she spoke, only breaking contact when she reached the spot on the bench next to Sammy. She happily gave her girlfriend a cookie, and the camera panned back to Ella and Alejandro, the former looking bewildered and the latter annoyed.

"Thanks," Ella said somewhat uncertainly, "although I don't _really_ know what you mean."

Dawn and Sammy shared a looked, then the cheerleader answered between chews "Well, Alejandro probably does."

"I'm sure I do not," Alejandro countered, his unamused look still leveled at his teammates even while Ella looked between the three with worried confusion.

/

A dramatic riff played as the series' world map was shown zoomed in on Europe, the plane icon flying northwest from Greece to Scandinavia.

The riff segued into a grander dramatic tune as a large field of ice was shown, the plane landing and immediately spinning out of control as its occupants screamed. It crashed off-screen.

/

The music ended abruptly as the scene skipped ahead to the seven contestants shivering out on the ice. Chris approached them in his pure white parka, saying "Welcome to Sweden!" in a thick and probably inaccurate accent while a folk tune played in the background.

"What happened to the jackets you ordered fer us in the Yukon, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Umm, I worked pretty hard on that accent," Chris said in offense, "it woulda been nice if somebody had commented."

"It's _freezin_ ' out here!" Sugar told him.

"Sweden, _hello_!" Chris told them as though it was enough to counter their complaints. He groaned, then turned around and walked back off-screen, muttering " _Great_ ," as the folk music ended.

"Don't worry," Tyler told Ella through chattering teeth, "I'll keep you warm."

"Thank you, Tyler," Ella replied, blushing as he moved closer to her.

"Actually, with my natural Latin heat _I_ can keep you _warmer_ ," Alejandro countered, spinning the singer around to face him and pulling her close.

"Thank you too, Alejandro," Ella blushed.

"Dude, lay off, she's not even on your team," Tyler glared.

"Yeah, but they _have_ been sweet on each other all season," Sugar pointed out with an air of someone breaking the bad news. "It ain't too surprisin' if her choice is to keep warm with him."

"Thank you, Sugar," Alejandro told the pageant star.

"Personally," Sammy spoke up, "I'd go with the boy who's already said he loves me _twice_ over the one who's been flirting all season and still hasn't said it _once_."

Ella blinked, then furrowed her brow into a troubled expression. "That's...actually a good point," she said before looking up at her long-time crush. "Alejandro, I can't quite recall you _ever_ telling me you loved me."

"I...am _certain_ I must have," Alejandro told her with a nervous smile. "I'm not the type to say it too often, so perhaps you've simply...forgotten?"

"Nnnno," Ella replied hesitantly, "this is something I think I'd remember."

Alejandro blinked, and looked blank for a moment. "Oh, well, in that case-"

"The jackets are here!" Chris announced suddenly, walking up with Chef and a mildly triumphant tune. The seven contestants immediately paused what they'd been doing to cheer, with Alejandro taking an oddly enthusiastic lead. "...in six to eight weeks," the host finished with a grin, a flat note playing as the cast groaned and glared and resumed shivering.

xxx

"That was a timely interruption," Alejandro confessed with relief in his voice. "Still, I must figure out what to do and _fast_ , Ella won't let this go for long. If I don't say I love her, she'll leave my side for sure. But if I _lie_ , then my inevitable betrayal will hurt her all the more...," he rubbed his chin in thought for a second, then said "I never thought I'd _actually_ be hesitating over such an easy decision! Maybe Dawn _is_ right about me feeling guilty..." He finished his confessional with an uncomfortable shudder.

xxx

The static cut away to a long-distance shot of the cast on a snowy hill, overlooking two piles of _something_ on the ice next to an unfrozen body of water.

"Before you is a _mysterious_ pile of I-Build-A tools and pieces," Chris explained, the camera cutting in for a closer look and revealing the two piles as being mostly wooden planks with a few odds and ends amongst them. "Your first challenge is to use Allen keys, wooden sledgehammers, and your _wits_ to turn your piles into...," the camera panned across a close-up of the two piles, "...whatever they're supposed to be when properly assembled."

"This will be a piece of cake," Alejandro whispered confidently to Dawn and Sammy, both of whom smiled neutrally and nodded their agreement.

"Sadly," Chris continued, "the assembly instructions were ' _accidentally_ ' shredded when they were put through a shredder." He held out a wad of shredded paper. "Anywho, first team to correctly assemble their whatchawhosit will earn a _big_ advantage in part two of the challenge! So... _go_!"

/

The tense tune usually reserved for the beginning of elimination began to play as the scene moved to Team Victory examining their pile.

"Err, maybe we should lay the pieces out, eh," Ezekiel suggested. "That way we might be able to see what we're supposed to build."

"Pfft, why bother when we can just start _buildin_ '," Sugar countered, grabbing an oversized Allen key and poking uselessly it through a giant nut. "I mean, we're bound to figure it out sooner or later."

"Yeah, but it might be too messed up by then," Ezekiel told her, trying to grab the nut and key from her only for her to yank them away with a glare.

"Uhh," Tyler said, the camera panning over to show him watching blankly then turning to Ella who was looking downward and distracted. "What do _you_ think we should do, Ella?"

"Hmm?" the singer said, lifting her head and turning to look at her teammate. "Oh, well..."

xxx

"I hadn't really noticed it before," Ella said, "but my relationship with Alejandro hasn't moved very _quickly_. He hasn't kissed me, he hasn't said he loves me, he hasn't even called me his girlfriend! I know we've only known each other for a few weeks," she told the camera with a troubled frown, "but considering how _romantic_ he's been I thought for sure we'd be further along by now. It's almost as if he's happy with things as they are now...but that can't be _true_ , right?"

xxx

"Oh, well," the singer answered her teammates, "maybe it would be a good idea to figure out what we _have_ in case one of us recognizes anything."

"Oh sure," Sugar huffed, "take _their_ side."

"Sorry, Sugar," the singer sheepishly apologized.

/

The scene moved over to Team Universe, where Alejandro was busy sorting through their pile of parts while Sammy and Dawn split their time between helping him and looking over at their opponents.

"We must hurry," the charmer said. "While _they_ squabble amongst themselves, _we'll_ figure out what it is we're building."

"Well it's gotta be something big and _round_ , right?" Sammy said, looking over a row of large wooden arches of various sizes.

"Or at least _curved_ ," Alejandro said, standing up to look at the arches as well.

"Hmm...," Dawn murmured as she pursed her lips in thought, "I _might_ have an idea." She quickly whispered into her girlfriend's ear as Alejandro watched with a skeptical look; Sammy's face quickly lit up in excitement, then she hurriedly whispered into the charmer's ear in turn.

"That makes _perfect_ sense!" Alejandro grinned. "But we mustn't let the others catch on. You two get started, _I'll_ go distract them."

/

Back with Team Victory, an overhead shot showed that they'd managed to get most of their pile sorted out in a fairly organized fashion.

"Hrmm...," Ezekiel said, scratching his head as he frowned in thought. "I can almost see somethin', eh, but it's like, err, at the tip of my tongue."

"What about this thing?" Tyler asked, lugging over what looked to be, of all things, a large wooden dragon's head.

Ezekiel stared at it a moment, then snapped his fingers and grinned. "Got it, eh! Just gotta make sure the others don't steal our idea."

"That might not be easy," Sugar told him, "'cause check who's comin' our way." She gestured behind her with her thumb, the camera panning to follow a little ways and show Alejandro walking up with a smile on his face.

Ella was shown raising her eyebrows.

xxx

"Well, here goes," she told the restroom camera. "I'll ask him if he loves me, and if he tells me he does then everything will be settled." She smiled hesitantly for a moment, then gasped and corrected herself. " _When_ he tells me! I meant _when_ , not _if_ ," she told the camera with a blush, "I just made a _little_ mistake there."

xxx

"Greetings!" Alejandro opened with a dashing smile. "Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to have a word with Ella."

"You...you did?" the singer blushed as her eyes locked with the charmer's.

"Well then, don't let us stop you!" Sugar said with a wide smile, quickly shoving Ella towards Alejandro. "I'm sure you two got plenty to talk about!"

"Yeah, _sure_ ,"Tyler grumbled, eyes now locked on his crush and her crush. Alejandro took Ella by the hands, but didn't bother to lead her even an inch away.

"Alejandro, I-" Ella began to say before the charmer cut her off with a finger to her lips.

"Ssshh," he told her, "just let me say my part." She gave him a confused look, and as he took a deep breath a touching tune began to play. "Ella, I love you. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it, but the truth is that I've never been very good admitting things like that. I hope you can forgive me."

"Oh, of _course_ I can forgive you!" Ella replied, welling up in tears of joy. "I love you too, Alejandro!"

The sentimental tune got a little louder as a halo of light seemed to surrounded the couple, the camera zooming in as they leaned in close to each other...until a harsh record scratch stopped the music, and a loud throat-clearing from Ezekiel ruined the moment.

"Yo, sorry eh, but if that's all you came over to say you can leave," he told Alejandro, Tyler next to him glaring and nodding in agreement. "We still got a challenge to do."

"Ah yes, about that," Alejandro said quickly, stepping away from Ella as she pouted. "As an apology for taking up your time, I thought I'd tell you that the object we're supposed to be building is a head, mostly likely Chris's." Tyler, Sugar, Ezekiel, and even Ella raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You know how big his _ego_ is," he offered as an explanation.

"I don't believe you," Tyler scowled. "Why would you come over here just to talk to Ella and then help us?"

"Yeah," Ezekiel chimed in, "especially 'cause I'm pretty sure we're s'pposed to be buildin' a _boat_ , and I can see Sammy an' Dawn have got the same idea." He pointed back past Alejandro, the camera rotating in front of the charmer to show him looking to the side and the two blondes struggling to fit the sides of the boat against the backbone they'd already put together out of the wooden arches.

"Do they?" Alejandro replied quickly. "They, uh, must have realized the head idea was _wrong_ , then."

"Hey, Alejandro?" Sammy called out suddenly. "Could you stop distracting the other team and give us a hand over here?"

"I knew it!" Tyler roared accusingly. "I _knew_ something was up with you coming over!"

"Wait, what do you mean?" Ella asked in worried confusion.

"I think Tyler's sayin' that Alejandro came over here to distract us from the challenge, eh" Ezekiel answered for his livid friend. "By sayin' he loves you and tryin' to give us the wrong idea about what to build so his teammates could get ahead."

"But...that _can't_ be true," Ella said with a troubled frown as she looked up at her crush. "Right, Alejandro?"

Alejandro opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by the trademark ding of the musical number icon appearing on-screen.

"Time for a song," Chris announced happily as he walked over next to Alejandro, the camera zooming out to show him in the gap between the teams with all eyes on him. Team Universe has a good chunk of their boat finished, while Team Victory was only just getting their frame constructed. "Just to make the work go a little... _faster_ , maybe," the host said uncertainly before giving the cast a happy shrug. "More _exciting_ , anyway."

The shot cut from the host to Sammy and Dawn, who looked at each other and shrugged, then to Alejandro as he turned a wide-eyed look to Ella, who was still looking troubled. The camera panned from her to Sugar, who was looking mildly annoyed, and then onto Tyler and Ezekiel who were outright glaring.

~/~

[A disco tune began as the camera followed the boys of Team Victory back over to their pile of ship parts.]

" _Because of him, now we're way behind_ ,"

[Tyler opened, singing to Ezekiel while jutting a thumb back over his shoulder in anger.]

" _We gotta start building it fast, get these parts combi~ined_!"

[Ezekiel answered as they reached the ship pieces; Tyler holding up one of the frame ribs as Ezekiel hammered it to the keel.]

" _I'm sure it wasn't his aim_ ,"

[Ella sang to Sugar as the camera panned to the girls walking over to the work area as well, the singer mashing her fingers together nervously.]

" _Though what happened is still the same_ ;"

[Sugar pointed out in response; the visuals abruptly changed to the silhouettes of the four members of Team Victory against a Swedish flag; they appeared to be holding microphones and wearing different outfits.]

" _Oh why did he waste our time_?"

[The light returned and the Swedish flag was replaced by a clock with the hands spinning out of control as they sang their line, revealing them standing on a disco floor bobbing to the beat and wearing garish and glittery disco suits with platform shoes and bellbottoms. Ezekiel was on the far left was in purple, the front open down to the belt to reveal a hairless chest and his gold 'Z' on a chain; Tyler was next to him in a darker red than his tracksuit, the front also open a fair ways and the collar tall and pointed. Third was Ella in pale pink, her bellbottoms pleated and multi-leveled and her short-collared top in possession of a long cape. And on the far right stood Sugar, in a sleeveless golden get-up with an absurdly high collar that almost reach the top of her hair.]

[Abruptly, the half-finished boat of Team Universe dropped down over Team Victory. The camera zoomed in on it as Sammy and Dawn rose up in glittering suits of their own – Sammy in orange with a pleated fringe around her waste, extra-puffy sleeves, and a short collar; Dawn in bright green with shorter sleeves and next to no collar.]

" _We got it started; it's going good_!"

[The two girls sang as they raised a mast into place, then wiped their brows in an exaggerated fashion.]

" _I promise I've been misunderstood_!"

[Alejandro sang next, the scene changing as abruptly as the subject as the charmer was shown dancing over towards Ella, then spinning around and taking her hand. He wore dark blue with a rather plain collar, a good portion of his chest bared like the other boys.]

" _Whoa-oa-oa_!"

[Dawn and Sammy sang, suddenly leaning out from behind their teammate.]

" _My guilt weighed down my soul; so on impulse I took a stroll_!"

[Alejandro sang to Ella, pleading with her from what almost seemed like the bottom of his heart; Ella blushed and smiled lovingly at him.]

" _And made them waste their time_!"

[Sammy and Dawn pointed out, pulling him away from Ella and spinning him back into their ranks.]

" _We wasted tiiiime_!"

[Team Victory sang together, disco dancing in line with one another.]

" _Our boat is in it's prime_!"

[Team Universe replied, the camera moving to them singing and dancing in line with another while Team Victory held their last word.]

" _Because we wasted tiiiiime_!"

[Team Victory repeated, the camera slowly zooming out as they held the last note. A larger side-view of Ella faded in on the right side of the screen as the main shot of the team faded away.]

"Ohhh~oo~oh~oo~oh-oh-oh~oo~oh~"

[The singer warbled before the shot cut back to the original footage, showing Tyler and Ezekiel leaning against either side of a large piece of planking, Tyler in front and Ezekiel behind.]

" _We wasted time_!"

[The boys sung mournfully, raising their hands to the heavens as the camera slowly panned out one again.]

"Yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yea~ah!"

[Sugar finished, sliding on her knees across the ice from left to right, stopping in front of a saddened Ella.]

~/~

Alejandro was shown briefly catching Ella's eye with a smile, earning a smile in return before he walked back to his team's boat and the scene cut to static.

xxx

Alejandro opened the confessional with a sigh of relief. "Okay, Ella bought it," he told the camera. "I was almost worried for a second that she would see through my ploy, but fortunately she's as naïve as ever. Still," he admitted, "in hindsight I should have checked how far along my teammates were with the boat _before_ I tried to mislead the other team. I'll have to be more careful from now on."

xxx

As the scene cut back to the challenge, Team Universe was putting the finishing touches on their boat – Sammy and Dawn fixed a row of colorful shields along the side, and Alejandro hammered the draconic figurehead into place. A triumphant tune and a shared smile indicated they'd finished, and moments later Chris walked over to them with a sack in hand.

"Nice!" he grinned as Alejandro jumped down to join his teammates on the ice. "Team Universe takes the lead, and she's a _beauty_!" He tossed the sack down on the ice, and Dawn bent down to open it with an inquisitive look on her face. "Here's your reward for finishing first."

"...rocks?" Dawn said, lifting her head in confusion as the camera cut in for a shot of the sack full of small, oddly-shaped stones. "This is strangely foreboding."

"What isn't on this show?" Chris told her happily. "Now, drag your ship to open water and sail _north_ until you find Chef to receive your next instructions."

Alejandro promptly grabbed his collar and dramatically tore his shirt off, declaring " _I'll_ pull from the bow!" to a dramatic tune.

"...was that _necessary_?" Dawn asked, both her and Sammy staring blankly at their handsome teammate's bare chest.

"Maybe he wants to distract Ella again?" Sammy suggested, still not taking her eyes of Alejandro.

"I-no-," he stammered with a blush before regaining his composure and declaring "Questions are for later, _action_ is for now! Push like the wind!" He then ran to the front of the ship, the camera cutting over to show him dragging the ship from a rope tied around his chest.

Sammy and Dawn looked at each other, shrugged, then moved to the back of the ship to push.

/

A flash took the scene over to Team Victory, most of whom looked rushed to finish their ship.

"Don't just stand around down there, eh!" Ezekiel called out to Ella from the deck of the ship, the singer still looking off in the direction of their competitors. "Give us a hand with the rest of the parts!"

"Oh, yes, sorry!" Ella said, turning back to her team with a blush on her face. She quickly looked around, then handed a colored shield up to the homeschooler.

The camera panned to the bow of their ship, where Tyler was watching Ella with a mixture of sadness and frustration. Sugar walked into view from the left with a few planks over her shoulder, then scowled and slapped the jock on the shoulder.

"Stop _mopin_ ' and start _workin_ '," she commanded, thrusting the planks into his arms as he turned towards her. "I tried to tell you she was bad news!" she hissed at him. "She's just toyin' with yer heart when she _really_ wants to be with Al!"

Tyler looked at her, sighed sadly, then turned and started hammering planks into the hull of the ship. In his distracted state, he quickly hammered his thumb by accident and yelped in pain.

xxx

His thumb was red and swollen as his confessional began, and he spent the first couple seconds nursing it before turning his frown to the camera. "I don't wanna say Sugar is _right_ about Ella," he said, "but maybe she _does_ have a point. I've tried like _everything_ to get her attention, but she just keeps going back to Alejandro no matter _how_ sketchy he is! I just don't get it, why can't he just mess up already so I can be _happy_?"

xxx

"Done!" Tyler declared as he finished pounding in what looked like the last plank, a tense challenge tune already playing.

"Here too!" Ella added as she and Sugar hung the last of their multicolored shields.

"Then let's get movin', eh!" Ezekiel said, vaulting over the side of the boat and landing clumsily on his butt. He shook his head, then stood up and dashed towards the back of the boat. "Sugar, you an' Tyler pull from the front! Me an' Ella will push!"

"Got it," Tyler nodded at the same time Sugar said "Sure thing!" The jock dashed towards the bow with the pageant queen right behind him, but the camera lingered on the spot where Ezekiel had landed – the ice was cracked, and unbeknownst to the contestants the cracks were spreading quickly.

The shot cut to the stern of Team Victory's ship, where Ezekiel and Ella were pushing with all their might. "Not to cause a fuss or anything," the singer spoke up, "but wouldn't it be easier if Sugar or Tyler were back here instead of me?"

"Nah," Ezekiel said as he eased up a little from his effort, the ship already sliding along quite smoothly, "I think we'll be fine. Besides, I wanted to talk to you about Alejandro. He really is bad news, eh, and I don't get why nobody's told you yet."

"I don't get what you _mean_ ," Ella said with a frown, unaware of the cracks spreading out through the ice beneath her feet. "I know he's one of the show's ' _villains_ ', but that was just put together for TV, right?"

"Not really, eh," Ezekiel told her. "I mean, I wasn't on very much but I still know he made a lotta people mad at him back in season one fer-" he paused upon hearing the cracks under his feet, then looked down with wide eyes. "Oh no!"

"The ice is cracking!" Ella cried out in alarm. She and Ezekiel screamed and jumped onto the stern of their boat as the challenge music was replaced by something more immediate and dangerous, and the camera shakily zoomed out to show Tyler and Sugar looking around in panic from the bow and Chris standing in the foreground.

"Is this _finally_ the death of us?" he asked the camera in a barely-contained panic. "Stick around to find out on Total! Drama! World Tour!" He then turned around, yelled "Every host for himself!" and ran away.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed on a close-up of the spreading cracks, a dramatic tune playing as they reached the hull of Team Universe's ship, still being dragged along the ice towards open water.

"Get in the boat!" Alejandro cried, still bare-chested as he hung from the figurehead with one arm, then swung himself up into the boat.

The camera panned to the stern as Sammy threw Dawn up into the boat, then jumped up and clung to the side as well. The ice broke apart beneath them, putting the boat on open water. Their main sail unfurled, caught the wind, and propelled them forward.

"Hurry!" Ezekiel said as the scene moved to him and Ella running along the deck of their ship to the bow, where Tyler and Sugar were clinging to the side. The homeschooler gave his friend a lift into the ship as Ella struggled with Sugar; Tyler ended up tripping and rolling into the mast as he boarded, Ezekiel already moving to assist the singer with their last team member.

"Man, that was close!" Sugar said in relief as she flopped down on the deck, and their own sail caught the wind. "Now let's _get 'em_!" she declared, swiftly standing up and pointing dramatically forward.

/

The dramatic music leveled off as the scene flashed to a close-up of Sammy and Dawn exchanging a high-five, then a hug.

"Oh em gee that was _way_ too close," Sammy said.

"Yes," Dawn said, "it's a good thing we finished first and got away from the center of the cracking."

"Oh yes," Alejandro chimed in, the shot panning to the stern to show him manning the tiller, "the diligent work you both put in _truly_ saved us."

"And don't forget," Sammy added with a smile, "it was _Dawn's_ idea to build a ship in the first place."

"Indeed," Alejandro replied, looking slightly nervous. "I am... _truly_ grateful."

"I can tell," Dawn smiled. "And you should be, _especially_ after you stopped working on it so you could lie to Ella some more." The mystic and her girlfriend giggled to each other, and Alejandro scowled.

xxx

"I know Alejandro was just trying to stay on our good side by flattering us," Dawn told the confessional camera. "I mean, I _can_ see his aura. But as long as he intends on hurting Ella, I see no reason to give him a break."

xxx

"C'mon, can't this thing go any faster?" Sugar complained as the scene moved back to Team Victory once more. "They're still ahead of us!"

"I''m _trying_ ," Tyler said, manning the tiller at the stern. "But I don't really know _how_!"

"I guess we just gotta make sure we go with the wind, eh," Ezekiel suggested, scratching his head and looking up at their sail. "And, err, hope that the other team don't." He looked around at his teammates, none of whom seemed very confident.

/

A dramatic tune played as Team Universe was shown pulling up to a dock where Chef was waiting with a horned helmet in his hand. Like the host he, too, was dressed for the weather, wearing a sleeveless orange-and-blue down jacket and an ushanka with the ear flaps down.

"What's with the helmet?" Sammy asked as she, Dawn, and Alejandro (fully clothed once again) disembarked. She reached out to take it, but Chef quickly moved it away.

"Uh-uh," he told her, "gotta pick a captain first."

The three teens raised an eyebrow in surprise, then shared a look. Alejandro was the first to step forward. "I know we haven't seen eye-to-eye with each other in the past, but if you'll allow me I'd like to take the lead on this one."

Sammy and Dawn shared a look and shrugged, then Sammy answered "Okay."

"Now I know what you are thinking," Alejandro continued without missing a beat, "but I promise to act fairly and lead us to victory, so _please_ just give me the chance."

"We already said we will," Dawn told him, which seemed to startle him for a moment.

"Oh...well okay then!" he told them with a smile. "Thank you for trusting me."

"And thank _you_ for sorting this out so quickly," Chris told the three as he walked up to join them and Chef shoved the helmet down onto Alejandro's head. "I guess you're still as popular with the ladies as always."

"Not _really_ ," Sammy said. "Me and Dawn just didn't wanna do it ourselves," she explained, Dawn nodding curtly in agreement.

"I don't care," Chris smiled. "What I _do_ care about is seeing a little _war_!" As he spoke, Chef drove up the dock in a small power crane and lowered a cannon onto Team Universe's ship.

" _War_?" Dawn repeated hesitantly, her and her teammates looking at the cannon as Chef backed the crane back up the dock.

"So...the rocks are actually flints?" Alejandro asked after a moment of thought.

"Bingo, dingoes!" Chris answered, his smile briefly fading as he added "Nuts, I shoulda said that back when we were in _Australia_." He quickly resumed his hosting demeanor, looking back at the teens to say "And to fire _out_ of the cannon, Chef's famous Swedish meatballs!" He motioned behind him, where his hulking assistant now stood with a plate of three large, dark meatballs.

"Those...don't look _healthy_ ," Dawn said with a bit of a cringe.

"That's the idea," Chris laughed. "To win the challenge and travel first class, sail _north_ to capture the red flag, way over yonder." A soft drumroll played as the perspective moved to the end of the dock looking out at the water, the camera quick-zooming forward to show a buoy with a red flag tied to it far, far in the distance. "Ooorr," the host added as the shot cut back to him, "use your meatballs to sink the enemy ship. Good luck, Captain Al!"

"That's Captain _Burromuerto_ ," the charmer corrected irritably, adjusting his helmet to his liking.

"Don't care about that either, so...go away," the host said, making a shooing motion towards the contestants.

Alejandro scowled, then turned on his heel and started walking back down the dock. "Let's go, chicas. We have a challenge to win." Sammy and Dawn exchanged an uncertain expression, then followed after him.

/

Another dramatic tune played as the scene skipped forward, showing the sail of Team Universe furling and catching wind, the shot pulling back to show their boat moving out backwards from the dock with Alejandro once more at the tiller.

"So, like, what's our plan?" Sammy asked the captain.

"Simple," he answered. "We already have the lead, so we'll go for the flag and use the cannon to fend off Team Victory if they manage to close in on us."

"Cool, sounds pretty easy then," Sammy smiled before suddenly frowning. "Almost _too_ easy."

"Agreed," Alejandro told her, "which is why we must be on guard for any _tricks_ that Chris decides to pull." The girls nodded mutely, and their boat passed by Team Victory coming in to the dock.

xxx

"This...may not end well for _any_ of us," Dawn told the restroom camera with a decisive yet wary look.

xxx

A tense and trilling tune played as another cannon was shown being lowered into Team Victory's boat by Chef and his crane; the camera followed him as he backed up, and caught the four members of the team discussing the horned helmet Chris was holding out for them; the plate of three meatballs was already in Tyler's hands.

"Why don't you take it, Zeke?" Tyler suggested. "You've already been taking charge today."

"Oh yes," Ella chimed in, "we'd have been _lost_ without you!"

"Err, okay!" Ezekiel accepted with a bashful smile. "Though I don't know much about bein' a captain or anything."

"It ain't _that_ hard," Sugar told him, swiping the helmet from Chris and putting it on the homeschooler's head. "Just tellin' us what to do."

"Right, eh," Ezekiel told her with a blank nod before looking at the ammunition they'd been given. "By the way, how're we s'pposed to light our cannon without any matches, eh?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something" Chris shrugged impishly. "Buh-bye!" he waved with a devious grin.

/

"Oh my, they're quite far ahead of us," Ella said with worry as the footage skipped ahead to show Team Victory pulling away from the dock. "How are we going to get to the flag before them?"

"I don't think we _can_ , eh," Ezekiel said with a thoughtful look at the cannon, now holding the meatballs while Tyler manned the tiller.

"Well, not unless they decide to turn back fer some reason," Sugar considered, "but that would just be _stupid_ , and stupid ain't Al."

"Yeah, I think we're gonna have to try and sink 'em, eh," Ezekiel said. "It's gonna be tough unless we can light the cannon, though, and even then we only got three shots."

"Oh, I hope nobody gets hurt by all of this," Ella said worriedly.

"Neither do _any_ of us," Tyler told her sullenly. "But we can't just give up and let them win. Besides, there's only three of them, if we actually land a hit I'm pretty sure it'll be on the boat."

"Well, we'd better," Ella told him, still looking distractedly forward. "I'd hate for Alejandro to think we're still mad at him for distracting us earlier."

The camera panned back to Tyler as he groaned, then up a little ways to Sugar, who looked back at him and grinned.

xxx

The pageant queen opened her confessional with a hearty chuckle. "Man, this is _perfect_! Tyler's probably gonna give up on Ella soon, which means if we lose she'll _finally_ be gone. And just in time, too; if we merge before there's another elimination, then she'll hook up with Al, Samey, and Dawn and vote the rest of us right on out! I might hafta borrow a plan from _Scott_ to make sure things go smoothly...," she said with an oddly contemplative look.

xxx

"We're almost there!" Sammy shouted excitedly as dramatic music started playing again, pointing forward from the bow of her team's ship.

"But the others are gaining on us!" Dawn countered, leaning off the starboard side and looking backwards.

"They must've caught the wind better!" Alejandro said. "Quick, turn the cannon around!"

Sammy and Dawn quickly moved toward the weapon as ordered, and with grunts of effort began to push it around.

/

The music continued as the scene flashed over to Team Victory, the camera lingering on their full and billowed sail before panning down to the the crewmembers. "I think we might be gaining on them!" Ella said hopefully. "Great steering, Tyler!"

"...thanks...," the jock muttered from the back of the ship, not meeting her gaze.

"I hate to say it, eh," Ezekiel spoke up, "but catchin' a lucky wind isn't gonna matter. We gotta figure out how to stop 'em!"

"Well it ain't _that_ hard!" Sugar said, picking up one of the meatballs and tossing it lightly in her hand. "All we need is a little bit of _power_!" She grasped the meatball firmly, then windmilled her arm around and threw it hard.

The camera followed it through the air for a few seconds, then cut over to Team Universe as Sammy looked up from moving the cannon and gasped. "Incoming!" she shouted, drawing Alejandro's attention backwards just in time to see the projectile fall short and splash into the water harmlessly.

"Hah!" he laughed. "That was pathetic! Let us show you what a _real_ shot looks like." He looked over at his teammates, then said "Ladies?"

Neither girl said anything as they immediately got to work; the cannon was already in position pointed backwards, so Dawn quickly loaded a meatball into it then Sammy rubbed two of their flints together to light the fuse. Both girls ducked and plugged their ears as the cannon fired, the meatball hurtling through the air.

At the bow of Team victory's ship Ella, Ezekiel, and Sugar gasped, then darted back as the shot crashed through the side of the hull. "Nooo!" the captain cried, gripping the sides of his helmet in panic.

"We gotta keep firin'!" Sugar told him in a pleading tone.

"Yeah," Ezekiel replied in a distracted tone, quickly snapping himself out of it when he noticed Sugar winding up another shot. "Wait! That's not gonna work!" he said, quickly grabbing the ball from her and running it towards the cannon as she scowled. He loaded it in, then looked and grabbed two stick-sized pieces of wood that had splintered off when the boat had been hit. He speedily rubbed them together until they caught fire then used them to light the fuse, and the cannon went off with a bang.

"Look out!" Sammy said, all three members of her team standing at the stern of their boat. They quickly ducked down, and the camera cut to them crouched and braced for an impact...that never came, the meatball seemingly splashing into the water ahead of the bow.

"Hah! Another miss!" Alejandro stood up and taunted.

"Not quite," Sammy said, tugging on his arm with a panicked look upwards, "look!"

The camera followed Alejandro's gaze up to the sail, which now had a fairly large hole in it. "We're slowing down!" Dawn cried as the shot cut back to the deck of the ship.

"Hurry, we must keep them from passing!" Alejandro commanded, running back to the tiller as the two girls readied their second shot.

The focus moved back to Team Victory as they heard the shot being fired from their various spots on deck; they quickly scrambled ducked out of the way only for it to crash down just off their starboard side...and cause an explosion that rocked the waters and terrified the four teens.

"Mines!" Alejandro called out as the camera quick-panned back to Team Universe. "I _knew_ Chris would have something up his sleeves!"

The shot quick-panned far to left, landing on Chris watching the challenge on the dock through a pair of binoculars. He lowered them, turned to the camera, and grinned. "I _love_ this game!"

A quick-pan put the focus back on Team Universe as Sammy said "He must've only put them near the flag!"

"Then we must take care not to hit any!" Alejandro added, taking control of the tiller again.

The scene cut back to Team Victory, who had recovered from the near-miss but were looking frantic.

"Oh man, if we hit any of those we're _toast_!" Tyler said in shock.

"Then we just gotta make sure we sink _them_ first!" Ezekiel said, already loading the team's last meatball into the cannon. "You girls watch out fer mines while I aim the cannon, okay?"

"On it!" Ella told him, dashing back towards the bow while the homeschooler used his fingers as an aiming sight then started trying to adjust the cannon.

"If you say so!" Sugar added, making a show of leaning over the port side and scanning the water for explosives.

An aerial view of the water showed the two ships drawing closer to one another. The camera moved behind Ella to show her looking up at Alejandro at the stern of the other ship, then the perspective inverted to show Alejandro looking out at Ella.

"Sorry for trying to sink you!" she called out. "It's just that it's our best chance at winning right now!"

"I understand, my love!" Alejandro replied. "And I hope you'll forgive me for not telling my teammates to go easy on you, since I _really_ can't afford to lose right now either!" The camera quickly cut to the others as he spoke, showing Dawn and Sammy exchanging a nervous look, Ezekiel looking up from his aiming, Sugar rolling her eyes, and Ella smiling lovingly.

"Don't worry, I forgive you!" the princess called back before looking down and noticing something in the water. "And everyone should be careful, there's a mine right between us!" she called out to both teams.

Alejandro immediately raised an eyebrow, then turned the tiller and made the ship swerve.

"Got it!" Tyler droned from his seat at Team Victory's tiller, pushing it hard. The camera immediately cut over to Ezekiel, who had just gotten his sticks lit again as the ship suddenly rocked and swerved. Caught off-guard he stumbled, and accidentally lit the cannon's fuse.

"Oh no!" Ezekiel said in wide-eyed shock just before the cannon fired; the camera followed the shot as it went wide and missed the enemy ship.

"Your last shot is _wasted_!" Alejandro called out to them. "Victory is ours! Ready the last shot!" he called back to the girls, only to raise his brow in shock when the camera panned rightward, showing first the deserted cannon and then Sammy leaning over the edge of the bow.

"No need, Captain!" Sammy announced excitedly, the background music turning triumphant as she was shown hauling Dawn back up to the ship by her waist.

"We have the flag!" the moonchild declared, the camera zooming on on the piece of cloth as it was raised up high.

"Team Universe wins!" Chris announced, the shot pulling back as he rode up on a jetski. "Team Victory, see _you_ at elimination."

"I'm glad nobody was hurt," Ella said as Team Victory's ship pulled up alongside their rivals.

"Me too," Alejandro told her. "Though I _do_ feel bad that you had to lose. I hope you still make the merge with me."

"Oh, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about," Ella told him with a blush, unaware of the annoyed looks that Ezekiel and Sugar were giving her behind her back. "We'll both make the merge just fine, and the love we share will take us all the way to the end!"

"Just what I wanted to hear," Alejandro told her with a slightly darker smile. The music turned slightly ominous as the camera panned from him to Sammy and Dawn, the two girls sharing a knowing nod.

/

The ominous music continued even as the footage cut ahead to the plane back in flight, and then into the cargo hold where Sammy and Dawn were now meeting.

"Okay, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sammy asked after looking around nervously.

"That we need to force Ella to see Alejandro for what he _truly_ is before she becomes even more attached to him than she already is, and he ends up causing something he doesn't want but can't take back?" Dawn answered with a piercing look.

"Uh, well, I don't know what you mean by that stuff about _Al_ ," Sammy answered hesitantly, "but basically, yeah. And I already have an idea how to do it..." she leaned forward and whispered into her girlfriend's ear, the camera panning up to a flickering light as a deep and ominous tune played.

/

The scene flashed to economy class, where the four members of Team Victory sat in awkward silence. Tyler was sulking in a corner on the far left, and the camera panned down the row to show Ezekiel eying him worriedly, Sugar with a small smile, and Ella looking around nervously.

"Well...we gave it our best shot out there, right?" the singer said cautiously. Ezekiel frowned at her in annoyance, then looked back over at Tyler as he tucked his head between his knees. Ella looked at Sugar, but the pageant queen just shrugged helplessly then perked up in confusion at the sound of a knock on the wall.

The camera moved to the doorway, where Sammy was leaning in with a nervous smile. "Umm, sorry to _interrupt_ , but Alejandro told me he wanted to surprise Ella with something before the vote, so..."

"Oh, I'd just be _delighted_ to come with you," Ella said eagerly, standing up immediately.

Sammy stared at her for a second, then smiled. "Okay! Let's, uh, go then!"

The camera panned away as the two girls left the room, landing on Tyler as he groaned.

"Well I _told_ you something like this was gonna happen!" Sugar told him. "Ella's just not the type of girl you can trust with yer heart!"

"I guess...," Tyler sighed depressedly.

"Look," Sugar continued with a stern look, "as long as she's around she's gonna keep hurtin' you. That's why we gotta vote her out _tonight_!"

"Sugar's got a point, yo," Ezekiel told his friend. "I know it's gonna feel bad, but I think if she's not around you all the time you'll get over her, eh."

Tyler sighed again. "Yeah, I guess..."

/

The music became ominous again as the scene flashed back to Sammy leading Ella through the halls; the cheerleader had started sneaking and the singer was looking somewhat confused. "Umm, not to _spoil_ it or anything," Ella asked in a whisper, "but what do you think Alejandro's surprise is?"

Sammy stopped suddenly, her eyes widening just a bit before she recovered and turned a nervous smile back to her former teammate. "Umm...I think it's probably something you _need_ to hear. And also, umm, maybe you should stay quiet for now, okay?"

Ella looked bewildered for a moment, but then silently smiled and nodded. Sammy nodded back, then grabbed her by the wrist and tiptoed slowly up to the cracked-open door to first class.

"Do you truly believe that telling Ella you love her will make you feel better?" Dawn's voice came from the crack as the two girl sidled up along the wall, Sammy immediately extending an arm to hold Ella in place as the singer adopted a troubled look.

The camera quick-panned into the cabin, where Dawn was standing in the aisle next to a lounging Alejandro. "And why _wouldn't_ it?" he answered in an almost bored tone. "Now I know that she'll be loyal to me once the teams merge. It's better this way for _both_ of us."

"You _know_ that isn't true," Dawn told him sharply, causing him to wince slightly. "All you've done is _deepen_ the pain you'll cause her when she inevitably finds out you've been using her."

"S-so what?" Alejandro replied with forced confidence. "It's the same thing I've done to _loads_ of girls before now. There's no reason to believe that _she_ won't be recover from it eventually."

"So you admit you're _concerned_ about her recovering from the pain you intend to cause her?" Dawn said quickly.

"W-well, it's not like I'm a _monster_ or anything," Alejandro replied, slightly flustered.

"Perhaps," Dawn conceded, "but I doubt you were ever so concerned about any _other_ girl."

Alejandro huffed and looked out the window. "Well...they had it coming. It's _their_ fault they let themselves be fooled, and for making _me_ want to fool them. They were _hardly_ innocent..."

"And Ella _is_?" the mystic asked.

"In a _way_ , I suppose," Alejandro answered, leveling an annoyed look at her. "So perhaps I _am_ feeling a little guilty knowing that I'm using her," he admitted. "I can't help it! It's like she's a...an adorable little _puppy_ or something! And besides, I've already figured out a way to end it cleanly, and minimize the pain she'll feel."

"Oh?" Dawn said curiously. "So you intend to allow Tyler to console her, should she want it?"

"No," Alejandro scoffed. "I'll take her all the way to the finale with me. I'll win, of course," he added with a haughty look, the camera coming in for a close-up as he leaned back and closed his eyes. "And on the way, I'll act more and more uncomfortable with her, and at the end I'll feign a sudden realization that perhaps we're not as compatible as we think! Oh, it'll be a _sad_ break-up, but at least we'll part amicably. And then...we'll go our separate ways without any pain, or guilt."

"Well then, it sounds like you have everything planned out," a familiar female voice said from off-camera, filled with bitter sadness.

"I always do," Alejandro replied smugly before his eyes popped open in shock and he sat up, the camera pulling back to reveal Ella and Sammy standing near Dawn. " _Ella_?!" the charmer said in bug-eyed shock before quickly trying to compose himself before the teary-eyed princess. "Wait, I can explain, it was all just a joke!" He stood up, his arms as wide as his nervous smile. "Just a lie to the others to hide how I _really_ feel about you!"

"I think I can tell what the lie is just _fine_ thank you very much," Ella said, her voice sharp enough to make him wince. "And right now I am _ashamed_ of myself for falling for it. But _you_ ," she pointed at him fiercely, " _you_ should be even _more_ ashamed! I _loved_ you, and you just...just perverted it for your own designs!" she said, choking back her own tears. "How _could_ you?! Alejandro Burromuerto," she paused to take a deep breath, then sang out "You are the _worst_ thing that's ever happened to me!"

The melody of the duet she'd sung with the boy in Paris played during the line, and its ending was punctuated by a piercing slap.

Ella turned and ran out of the room sobbing into her hands, and the camera lingered on the utterly shocked face of Alejandro, mouth agape and hand touching the cheek she'd just slapped. An eerie tune played as the shot zoomed in, the young man's face hardening into a frown. "Very well then," he whispered coldly before a few deep, chanted notes took the scene away.

/

The usual deep and staggered elimination music began to play as the focus moved to the elimination room, the logo of Team Victory appearing on-screen over the smiling host and seated teens. Ella was still sobbing into her hands, and her team members were watching her from a fair distance away – Ezekiel awkwardly, Sugar with barely-hidden glee, and Tyler with great concern.

"Ahh, the elimination room" Chris began, drawing the cast and camera's attention away from Ella. "This is where one of you will be tossed into the darkness," he gleefully gestured back over his shoulder towards the exit, "to plummet out of my life and possibly end of your own. And, if this weren't a _reward_ challenge, that would happen _tonight_. Psyche! No vote tonight! You're all safe! For now..." He pointed cockily at the cast, the elimination music ending abruptly.

"Aww, seriously?!" Sugar said in disbelief, Ezekiel and especially Tyler looking back once more at the still-sobbing Ella.

"Yessiree," Chris replied as the opening drumbeats of the series' capstone them played. "As we speak, Team Universe is getting their reward: Swedish massages performed by a genuine registered massage therapist." Sugar groaned over Ella's continued crying.

"What other kinds of therapists will our competitors need before the season's over?" Chris asked the camera. "Find out next time, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

The plane turned up and to its right in the final zoomed-out shot, and flew away as the episode ended.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Just like many of you predicted, this quarter finishes things up with the sole reward challenge out of five episodes. Though with how things have ended between Ella and Alejandro, I don't expect the drama to be lacking. The whole 'somebody sets the villain up so that they're overheard by the person they're fooling' is a tad cliche, but honestly it works here and is something that's been coming for a while now I think. Hopefully you all enjoyed watching it go down.

The challenge was kind of odd. I wasn't certain at first who should get the lead building the boat, or how the song would work in, but once I decided that Alejandro would basically try to throw Team Victory off but fail, everything kind of fell into place from there. The ice breaking apart was another stumbling block, but I ended up deciding that forcing it would make for a better (and shorter) read than just having the two teams trying to pull their boats all the way to open water. Though in retrospect, having them just pull would have made the boat race more even? I don't know.

Once in open water, thing were straightforward - Victory on the attack chasing Universe on the defense. The shot through Team Universe's sail and the mines were to keep things tense and even; I did consider having an exploding mine finish things off, but couldn't work out the logistics of such a shot to a satisfying degree. So instead I had the flag actually grabbed, with the mines coming into play by causing Ezekiel to miss his last shot (which may very well have won the challenge for them) when Tyler moved the boat to avoid one.

Not much else to say that I can think of, besides the fact that the song's title is 'We Wasted Time'. In case you didn't notice, it follows the same tune as 'We Built Gwen's Face'. Figuring out the disco costumes was...an experience, and the whole sequence would probably look stranger than its canon counterpart were it actually animated. Still, I think it was enjoyable.

Next week is the third Aftermath, and the Second Chance Challenge. I look forward to hearing your thoughts about what's to come!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (17th Place)

Lightning - (16th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (15th Place)

Geoff - (14th Place)

Scott - (13th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (12th Place)

Sierra - (11th Place)

DJ - (10th Place)

Shawn - (9th Place)

Staci - (8th Place)


	18. Chapter 18 - Aftermath Aftermayhem

**Author's Note**

Here we are at last, the third Aftermath of the season! I will say right now that it isn't terribly different from the canon episode, but the character differences really make it. Next week's chapter is Niagara Brawls, which is both the beginning of the fateful fourth quarter and already finished meaning I'll actually have a free Saturday for the first time in a while.

No matter how many times I say it, it's always amazing that we're already this far along in the story. And yet, it won't be until the first week of February that this season will officially be over.

But enough musing about the future, time to answer some reviews!

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Thanks! I hope you enjoy not only this episode, but the ones to come as well.

 **kaijudude1000:** Thanks for the praise! It's always nice to here from long-time readers, first time-reviewers. You'll have to wait until next week to find out what happens with Alejandro, Ella, and Tyler of course, but I hope you enjoy what happens. And as for Sammy and Dawn, I'm not sure if you're saying you like the pairing itself or if you were just complimenting the stories in general, nevertheless, I'm glad I was able to make them work. I've been trying to up the representation factor in my stories, since the actual series has been notoriously unwilling/unable to include any non-het couples.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Thanks. I did kind of consider including the exclusive clip, but decided against it since I've only been doing the post-elimination ones. And I almost hate to say it again, but this week's episode isn't that different from canon I think, so don't be expecting any big changes or dramatic developments right now...next week, perhaps, but not now.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Wow, I'm glad you loved last week's song so much! Even this far into the season' it's nice to know that people like the songs I write, even if they're to the tunes of existing songs. I'm glad you enjoyed the dramatic happenings as well, though I will say that Ella and Tyler haven't hooked up quite yet. But Alejandro's certainly been taken down a peg, and Sugar's not in as good a place either. Overall I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you enjoy the Aftermath this week!

 **DSX62415:** Oh ho, it certainly seems that way. I hope you enjoy this week's episode and who gets to enter the game!

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks! And yeah, Ella's finally found out the truth about Alejandro. What will become of it, however, is yet to be seen...

 **FOWLKON:** Ehh, the 'launched out of a cannon' joke really only works for Owen, and even then only just barely; I'm just not a fan of fat jokes and things like them in particular. I see what you mean about the differences in focus between the canon episode and mine, with the canon being much more focused on relationships within the team rather than between the teams, even with the ongoing relationship drama between Duncan, Courtney, Alejandro, and Heather. Neither Owen nor Cody and Sierra really played a part in that, whereas my Sweden episode had pretty much everyone taking a stance on the relationship between Alejandro, Ella, and Tyler. Though I wouldn't say that Sammy and Dawn were being antagonistic, at least in a negative sense; they wanted Alejandro to not have Ella as an ally, true, but more importantly they didn't want Ella to keep being deceived by someone they know is a bad guy. At least, that was my intent with them.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Oh yes, their alliance only went so far - it was already implicitly over, since Sammy wouldn't have voted for Dawn if it had come to it. And revealing Alejandro's deceptions hardly breaks the terms of their alliance, as you said. As for the returning player...well, you've certainly raised some interesting possibilities at least.

 **bruno14:** I'm glad to hear you liked it. And yeah, even though we're nearing the end of the first three seasons, it does mean we're getting that much closer to the second cast, which I'm excited to see people's reactions to. I'm liking what you liked about the song and characters last weak, especially Tyler. He could definitely have used a hug last week, although I think Ella could use one more right now.

 **StarHeart Specials:** I've already cleared it up via PM but for the sake of those who read the review responses I'll say that I can't respond to a review that was never posted. Though I do hope to hear from you again some more! And yeah, Ella doesn't deserve her heartbreak, but it had to happen eventually with things as they were.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Oh yes, and I'm glad I was able to make a reward challenge intense enough to be suiting the third quarter finale. Alejandro's certainly on the ropes now, and I'm looking forward to seeing how people react to the next few episodes once they come out. And as for who's gonna enter the game today...well, if you haven't figured it out yet, then I'll try not to ruin your surprise.

 **Animation Adventures:** Haha, I'm glad you feel that way and I hope I don't disappoint next week when the main plot resumes. Regarding the Chris head idea, I did briefly consider having one of the teams actually build it, but decided against it because it would be too much like canon, and it just wasn't what I wanted to do with the challenge or the song. And don't worry about Alejandro, even without me showing the massage scene he'll get what's coming to him eventually. As for your suggestions for the Second Chance Challenge...well, the choices were good. The arguments in favor of them, however? Not so much, I'm afraid, at least for what I want in the next quarter.

 **I. M. Poik:** Yeah, I don't think Team Universe winning is that big of a deal, especially since they lost two times before it. Glad you liked the song, especially the costume descriptions which were a little weird for me because I wasn't sure how and how much to describe them. I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with you on the timing (and method) of Ella finding out the truth, but that's to be expected. Oh, and Alejandro most definitely already knows what Dawn and Sammy have done...

 **Ddynamo:** Hey, no worries! About not reviewing very much, at least. The plagiarism...well, I haven't gotten around to dealing with it yet (I've been busy), but thank you so much for pointing it out anyway, I really really appreciate it.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yeah, I think I can see what you mean with Ella. She was never really designed to be a full, robust character, meaning it falls on me to make up for it in my own stories. I actually like/appreciate her myself, but I am sorry I wasn't able to translate that into a character that was more widely enjoyed by my audience. Still, it seems like last week's episode was definitely one of the better ones for her. I'm glad you enjoyed it.  
AS for the Second Chance Challenge, I agree that there's really not much point to Blaineley's arc if it doesn't end in her messing up and having to be humiliated - she's meant to be a pest who takes time away from the main stars of the Aftermath, and irritates them more and more until finally - and spectacularly - falling apart, more or less. Other people could certainly fill a lot of her role as a late-game entering player, but it just wouldn't make her arc as good.

 **Knifez:** Haha, sorry, but you'll have to wait a little bit longer. Though I am glad you enjoy the dynamic between Alejandro, Dawn, and Sammy, they've been pretty fun to write. You do have a point about Blaineley, and I hope you enjoy the next few episodes.

 **Star Saber21:** Yup, that was the main purpose of last week's chapter, to build up to Ella's devastation. I think it was definitely for the better, though. Even more so since it'll disrupt Sugar's plans to get rid of her. As for the Second Chance today...well, I won't say who's coming back yet but you'll probably be surprised. Also, I don't really understand why you'd think I would have Jasmine show up in Tanzania if Shawn ends up winning a spot back on the plane; I have no reason to have her show up right now and even less in Africa of all places.

 **wifishark:** No, I wouldn't say that. Pairing up Alejandro and Ella is one of two fairly obvious choices for that challenge, since the drama it would create is pretty high. That aside, I hope you enjoy the episode this week.

And so ends the reviews for this week. As always, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next.

It's not currently relevant, but for those who want it here's a reminder of the remaining cast on the plane:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Tyler, Ella, Sugar

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Dawn

We won't be seeing them this week, of course, since it's an Aftermath. But, by the end of this episodes, somebody else WILL be joining them on the plane. Who will it be? Read on to find out, and enjoy.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 18 – Aftermath Aftermayhem**

For the third time this season an electric guitar riff opened the episode, the camera fading in onto an image of a spinning globe. Large white block-lettered words appeared in a column with a flash; first 'TOTAL', then 'DRAMA', then 'WORLD TOUR', and lastly 'AFTERMATH' at the bottom in an explosion of sparks. The title lit up, the flare wiping the scene to the first of several clips.

xxx

Shawn suddenly rolled forward from his spot near the shrubbery, looking back over his shoulder with a smirk. "Just _try_ and catch me off guard!" he yelled out to the open air.

The background music spiked just then as a long dagger flew down from above Shawn, piercing the sack and pinning it to the ground. "Oh crap," he said with wide eyes, quickly turning around and looking up – the perspective rotated with him, revealing the shadowy form of the Ripper perched atop the ornate lintel over the window.

xxx

The title screen was shown again, just long enough for the letters to flare up and cut to the next clip.

xxx

The camera cut to Alejandro and Sierra, who were paused in mid-grapple in the dance challenge – Sierra had Alejandro in a headlock, while he in turn had his left hand pushing against the side of her head and his right leg wrapped around her left.

"Aww," Sierra cooed as she watched the touching scene just off-camera, "I _love_ happy endings!"

"Well _I_ love distracted opponents," Alejandro countered, quickly releasing his leg, putting his hands on her stomach, and shoving her off her mat before she could react.

"Oof!" Sierra winced as she landed in the snow on her butt.

xxx

The title screen flared once more as a third clip was shown.

xxx

"I don't know if I can do this," DJ said, not taking his eyes off the cod in his hands. "I don't wanna hurt the poor thing."

The clip promptly skipped forward to him and Geoff sitting back to back, both kissing their cod on the lips.

xxx

One final flare of the the title led into one final clip.

xxx

"No..." Scarlett said to herself, a look of sheer horror on her face. DJ, Sammy, and Dawn turned and left through the gap DJ had made, and Scarlett cried out "NOOOO!", nearly drowning out the siren.

Moments later a swarm of Black Ops soldiers arrived, weapons pointed at the pinned teenager.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The Aftermath's title sequence replayed itself once more, and the studio audience began to cheer even before the words lit up. When they did, it was to take the scene to the darkened stage, lit only by a pair of moving spotlights. The opening music cut away to something deeper and dramatic that underscored the applause.

"Attention, Total Drama fanatics!" Sam called dramatically from off-stage. "Forget the _Aftermath_ , this is Total Drama After _mayhem_!" The crowd went wild as he walked on from stage right. "I'm your cohost Sam," he said as he walked to the moving spotlights which quickly came together to form one bright circle center-stage, "and this...is kinda _weird_ , actually," he said with an odd look as he reached the spotlight, "I thought Dakota was gonna meet me out here, but I guess she has something else up her sleeve, huhuh. Makes sense, you never know what you're gonna get next on _this_ show!" he said to the audience, clapping along with them.

"But first, it's the only bunch of nuts you don't have to worry about being allergic to, the _Peanut Gallery_!" The gamer pointed stage left, the spotlight and camera illuminating the pair of couches off to the side. The nine teens there mostly smiled and waved as the crowd cheered – Topher, B, Beardo, Beth, and Lightning on the top row; Amy, Scott, Jo, Bridgette, and Geoff on the bottom.

"And better yet," Sam announced happily as the focus moved back to him, "our horrible hag of a roving reporter Blaineley is _actually_ doing her job for once and roving far, _far_ away!" Bridgette and Geoff were shown clapping happily from the Peanut Gallery.

A trendy tune started to play as a zoomed-out shot of the series' world map took over the screen, a large icon of Blaineley's face appearing in the top-left corner. "Yup, Blaineley's off on a Total Drama Tour to potential new franchise locations," Sam explained as the Blaineley-icon arced down to northern Europe, a flagpole raising up behind it before a boot kicked her icon down to Australia. "Where she's meeting with one Total Drama superfan contest winner in each country." A flag was raised behind her in Australia, then kangaroo feet kicked her off to western Africa; another flag was raised there, and a monkey arm punched the icon to northern Brazil. After the flag was raised, a bare human foot kicked her icon into the south Atlantic ocean where it promptly sank.

"Stay tuned," Sam told the camera as the scene moved back to him, the stage now lit normally, "because the next superfan is Blaineley- _obsessed_!...apparently...," he rolled his eyes dryly. "I guess there had to be one _some_ where." The audience laughed. "Take it away, Dakota!" he called out, pointing back stage right.

The camera cut to an elderly janitor standing just at the edge of the stage, holding a mop and scratching his butt.

"Uhh...where's my camera-loving angel?" Sam asked in bewildered concern, the camera cutting back to him scratching his head.

"Here's a hint," a familiar voice said from off-stage, "they eat a lot of red meat there!"

The audience and Peanut Gallery gasped as Blaineley walked out on stage and up to Sam. "Whoa, what?! Shouldn't you...," he trailed off in shock.

"Well _said_ , Sammy boy," Blaineley taunted.

"Okay, what did you do to her?" Sam asked with blunt, no-nonsense anger.

"Oh, Sam," Blaineley answered in a condescending tone, " _how_ Dakota left doesn't matter! What matters is that she _did_ leave. And I'm officially back in my cohost seat!" she added, sitting down on the host couch.

"Really?" Sam asked. "What happened to wanting out of your contract-"

"-so I could bail on this dork train before my career is _flushed_ down the bathroom confessional toilet of life?" Blaineley finished for him. "Hmmph! Turns out, if the live show runs long, _I_ don't get paid," she explained. "And if I try to _leave_ the show for any reason other than being fired or accidentally killed on-set by a falling light," she told the camera, "I'll get sued."

A short but tense tune played as Sam looked above his unwanted cohost, the camera panning up to show a stage light flickering and swaying precariously. "What I wouldn't give for some kind of _range_ upgrade right now...," the gamer muttered.

"Nice," Blaineley replied dryly. "Almost makes me wish the producers _had_ sent me on the tour instead of Dakota. _Almost_."

"Wait, the producers sent her away?" Sam asked in confusion as a more trilling tense tune played. A bit of static in his ear caused him to bring a finger up to it, then frown and raise an eyebrow. " _Huh_ ," he said, looking back at his cohost.

"Okay, on with the show," Blaineley said the trendy Aftermath tune began, standing up and walking away before Sam stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Hold on," he told her, "I've just gotten word from _my_ producers that you should be standing by right now with our superfan in," he paused to listen to his earpiece again, "the frigid mountains of Siberia! In other words," he said with a sharp look, " _not here_." Another bit of sound from the earpiece got his attention, and his eyes went wide. "Wait, we have her on the feed?" he repeated in shock. "What are you waiting for, put her on!"

The audience cheered as the camera panned up to the big-screen, which was now showing mostly snow but with a few hints of an evergreen forest in the background.

"Okay, I hope that's just static," Sam said nervously.

"Looks like a _blizzard_ to me," Blaineley remarked.

A hollow, ominous tune played as the camera focused on the big screen again, and the wary form of Dakota faded into view through the snow. She was wearing a light pink parka with the hood down, leaving her blonde hair to blow out behind her as she shivered.

"Aww man," Sam moaned as the focus moved back to the current hosts, "I can't believe you actually did this! How'd you even pull it off?"

"I just took Dakota to the airport to shoot a special report," Blaineley explained simply as a clip played of her sneaking up behind Dakota while the heiress was distracted by a script and gleefully pulled a sack down over her, "slipped my passport and ticket into her purse," Blaineley was shown tossing the sacked Dakota at the back of an open delivery trunk only for her to bounce off and hit the pavement with a thud, "and helped her on the plane right before take-off!" A third clip showed her heaving the sack into the open door of a small and grimy cargo plane, then sliding the door shut on her then running away with a vicious grin.

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. "Okay, you pretty much just rocketed up to mid-boss-level evil, y'know?"

"SAM!" Dakota suddenly screamed out through the live feed of her in Siberia.

"Dakota, are you alright?" the gamer asked, looking up with a deeply worried look on his face as a few sharp notes were struck,

" _No_!" the heiress whined as the feed of her was shown. "There's, like, some kind of _bear_ or something out here, and it's _totally_ eaten one of the interns!" An ominous sliding rumble came from off-camera, and Dakota took one look to her right and cringed. An avalanche of snow crashed down on her, and she barely had time to shriek before the feed cut to static.

The audience and Peanut Gallery gasped. "Ohhh man," Sam said, looking up in panic. "Oh man oh man oh man oh-"

"Snap out of it!" Blaineley said, interrupting him with a sharp slap. "I've got a show to host."

"Of course, because that's the _important_ thing right now," Sam spat, his voice thick with sarcasm. "It's not like Dakota's buried under twenty feet of _snow_ in the middle of _Siberia_ or anything! Honestly, forget what I said about you being the mid-boss, you're totally at the _final_ boss level of evil."

"Meh," Blaineley shrugged as the audience booed her, "I've been called worse."

Sam looked straight at the camera. "Dakota, if you can hear me, I swear by the Sons of Zanthar that I'll get you back on this show, and send Blaineley where she deserves!" He shot a fierce look at the older woman as the crowd went wild, then stormed off stage left past the Peanut Gallery.

"For those of you just joining us," Blaineley said, the camera cutting to her after showing most of the Peanut Gallery glaring in her direction, "welcome to a fresh new installment of Total Drama Aftermath!" She paused to let the audience cheered. "And speaking of stars, I'm your one and _only_ host, Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran!"

The applause and music stopped abruptly, and the camera pulled back in to show the unmoved audience. Somebody coughed.

"You're too kind," Blaineley deadpanned as the shot cut back in to her and the background music resumed. "Now let's meet tonight's _special guests_. She's well-informed and filled with boundless enthusiasm for the show and her fellow contestants, Sierra!" Blaineley lead the applause as the shot cut to the backstage entrance just as Sierra walked out with a smile and a wave; a solitary voice could be heard booing amongst the cheers.

"Next," Blaineley continued, "he's the guy who flirted with, and _scored_ , two girls at once. It's DJ!" Once again she clapped, and once again the camera cut to stage right. The gentle giant walked out on stage with a broad but bashful smile, rubbing the back of his head then waving.

"Our _third_ guest is the zombie-obsessed fan-favorite who got screwed by a team swap, _Shawn_!" The crowd went absolutely wild at the announcement, but the camera cut to the backstage entrance to show it completely empty. Blaineley pursed her lips in annoyance, then looked to her left with shock as a rope descended next to the Peanut Gallery (to which the first two guests had now joined, DJ next to Lightning and Sierra next to Geoff).

Shawn promptly slid down it to the surprise of everyone nearby, then confidently announced "Okay, the building's clean and undead-free," before taking a seat next to DJ.

Blaineley stared blankly before noticing the camera was back on her and resuming her hosting smile. "And our _final_ loser is on loan from the U.S. military after getting captured in Area 51. Nice of you to finally join us, _Scarlett_!" She sent an amused look towards the stage right entrance, but the applause was delayed until the audience got a good look at the evil genius.

She was in a straight jacket with a mask over her mouth, strapped tightly to a hand truck being wheeled out on stage by a black male intern in green scrubs. Her eyes narrowed as the crowd cheered, and she was wheeled all the way across the stage and set down on the left side of the Peanut Gallery.

"Speaking of _pain_ ," Blaineley told the camera after it moved back to her, "it's time to kick things in the biscuits with a fresh installment of, say it with me, 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark'!"

The music stopped, and nobody said the segment's title with her. The Peanut Gallery was shown looking at her rather blankly, provoking a noise of disgust from Blaineley. "Would it _kill_ you to play along with me?" she told them before looking at the camera in annoyance.

xxx

The segment began with a jaunty whistling sea tune as static cut to Ezekiel and Tyler running across the barren minefield outside of Area 51, carrying the large alien ring they'd grabbed for their challenge. They were making good time but didn't seem to be minding the explosives, which meant they were taken off-guard when Tyler stumbled and they accidentally triggered one with the ring itself. They were sent flying by the resulting explosion, but the ring wasn't damaged as evidenced by it landing over an intern that was taking am empty glass from Chris; the intern was swallowed whole by the alien device, to the shock of Chris, Tyler, and Ezekiel, and to the laughter of the audience.

xxx

The second clip was set in London, and showed Ripper Staci trying to drag a large sack out of the double-decker bus only for it to get stuck in the doorway. To the audience's amusement she tugged and tugged, causing the sack that undoubtedly contained Tyler and Ella to bang and bump against the bus walls over and over again before she finally got it out and it landed on the pavement with a painful thud.

xxx

The jaunty tune ended as the third and final clip began, showing DJ following Ella as they rode emu-back across the Australian Outback. The gentle giant smiled and stoked his mount's head, only for it to look back at him and swallow his own head. The audience laughed as DJ flailed his arms in panic and pain.

xxx

The segment ended there, the scene cutting back to Blaineley at center-stage. "It's time for me to announce our _big_ surprise," she said with an excited look as the laughter died down. A single dramatic beat played as DJ and Shawn shared a wary look, and Blaineley continued. "Tonight, Total Drama Aftermath is holding the very first ever 'Total Drama Second Chance Challenge'!" A grand tune played as an image was shown of a globe and a bag of money against a golden background; a plane flew out and around from behind the globe and stuck into the money bag, which exploded sending dollar bills flying.

The audience cheered, as did the Peanut Gallery. "That's right," Blaineley said, "our motley collection of Total Drama losers just got Total Drama lucky, 'cause they're about to compete for a second shot at that million dollar prize! What do you say, _Sierra_ , you ready to get back on the plane?"

"Oo~ooh, I would _love_ to have another chance!" Sierra squealed excitedly.

"Five of you rejects are about to capture lightning in a bottle," Blaineley said as the camera cut back to her, a pair of male interns – one white and one black – standing by with t-shirt cannons leveled at the Peanut Gallery. "Or in this case, _peanuts in a can_!"

A few dramatic notes blared as Beth, Beardo, Amy, and Sierra stepped forward ready and eager as the crowd went wild; Lightning barged through them moments later causing them to scatter. Scott accidentally pushed DJ next to Bridgette and Geoff, and the three exchanged a friendly smile.

"Dude, nice job hooking up with two girls at once," the party boy told the brickhouse. "How'd your mom take it?"

"About as good as I figured she would," DJ answered with an awkward laugh. "I still got some convincin' to do..." Geoff nodded at him sagely.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Blaineley announced excitedly, and the two interns opened fire on the teens. The first one hit Scarlett still bound to her hand truck; she promptly fell over on her back. Another can ricocheted off the heads of Scott and Beardo, knocking them back and over before landing in the eager hands of Beth. Jo was shown smirking at one in her hand, and Sierra and Topher had somehow gotten next to each other and were busier trying to interfere with one another than catching the peanut cans, resulting in both getting beaned upside the head. "Most of your cans contain soft nuggets of continued loserdom," Blaineley explained while all this was going on, "aka peanuts. _But_! Five contain something _very_ special, so crack 'em if you got 'em!"

Jo was the first shown opening her can; she peered close inside then scowled and dumped out the peanuts. "Man, what a rip..."

Bridgette, Geoff, and Shawn were shown emptying their peanuts in disappointment as well, but Lightning was startled when a golden Chris-head sprung out of his can on a spring. "Sha- _whoa_!" he exclaimed. "The Chris-in-the-Box is _dumb_ , but Lightning ain't complainin'."

"And Lightning's our first to get a second chance at the million!" Blaineley announced, earning another wild cheer from the audience. "One down, four more Chrises to go."

A tense challenge tune began as the cans of Beardo and B were shown to have nothing but peanuts, the beatboxer making a 'sad trombone' sound as he poured the can out. Amy's was also peanut-only and she threw the can down in disgust. Sierra was shown gnawing at her can like a dog, and eventually managed to get the top off revealing the spring-loaded Chris head inside.

"Superfan Sierra is in it to win it," Blaineley said as Sierra squealed excitedly and the crowd cheered again. "Three to go."

Beth also tore the can open with her teeth but hers had only peanuts. Topher was next, picking the papery top open with his fingernails and grinning in delight at the Chris-head that popped out. "And Topher is back too," Blaineley announced, Topher grinning cheekily at the audience and Sierra huffing and crossing her arms.

Scott was next; he held the can at arms length as he cracked it, then raised an eyebrow as nothing popped out. He brought it closer to his face so he could look inside, and promptly took a Chris-head to the eye that made him yelp in pain and drop the can.

"Interesting technique," Blaineley told him, the three who'd already been chosen standing nearby with Lightning separating the two long-time rivals. "Come on up here, Scott!" she waved to the farmer, who slumped across the stage holding his eye. "Wait, there's still one spot left!" Blaineley announced. "Who hasn't opened their can?"

A mysterious tune played as the camera panned over the Peanut Gallery, who'd returned to their seats after opening their dud cans and were now looking at each other in confusion.

Until a sharp throat clearing drew everyone's attention to the far side of the gallery, or rather the person still lying behind it. "I assume that would be _me_ ," Scarlett said sharply as the audience gasped. "Could somebody open the last can and get this over with?"

Jo promptly and without hesitation one-arm shoved Amy out of her seat and onto the unseen part of the floor that Scarlett was lying on, earning pained grunts from both girls. "Uggh, _fine_ ," Amy said, standing up and dusting her clothes off before bending over to both lean Scarlett's hand truck back upright and pick up the last can. She opened it with a scowl, and nobody was surprised when the Chris head sprung out though a reverent tune did begin to play in the background.

" _Excellent_ ," Scarlett said, her tone suggesting a grin behind her mask.

"The evil genius is our fifth and final challenger," Blaineley announced while the audience hesitantly applauded. "Let's give her a hand! By which I mean somebody bring her over here." Amy rolled her eyes but grabbed the handles of the supervillain's hand truck all the same. "What would a bunch of losers be without one who can't even _move_ , right Scarlett?" Blaineley asked as the bound villainess was wheeled over.

"Very funny," Scarlett answered dryly.

Blaineley laughed and put a finger to her own ear piece. "Oh man...seems like our frigid flunky Dakota's alive and ready to report!" she announced, the camera pulling back to get the widescreen in the shot. "So Dakota," Blaineley asked as the pink-clad heiress appeared on-screen, "I bet you're wishing you had some latin _warmth_ right now, huh?"

It was then that Sam dashed back out on stage, out of breath and filled with concern. "Dakota, tell me you're okay!" he asked.

"Th-the superfan is, like, super _mad_ I'm not Blaineley," she explained through chattering teeth. A white-furred baby seal was thrown over her head just then, causing her to quickly duck and gasp. "Umm, _rude_!" she shot off-screen to the left. "Would you stop _throwing_ things at me?" A sausage hit her at the stomach, but she just grabbed it and threw it back.

"What does the superfan want?" Sam asked.

"Is he hot?" Blaineley added. "And if he is, more or less so than _Alejandro_?"

"That doesn't matter now or _ever_ ," Sam told her in annoyance before turning his attention back towards the television. "Don't worry, I'll do whatever it takes to get you back! There's gotta be _some_ way!"

"Boyfriend and Drama to Drama sing traditional Russian song of Blaineley," a nasally and Russian-accented male voice suggested from off-screen.

"Awww," Blaineley cooed, "tell my superfan that I think he's super fantastic!"

Sam groaned and palmed his face before turning to the Peanut Gallery. "What do you say, guys, you with me?" the gamer asked, earning thumbs-up from Beardo and B.

"This oughta be a _fate-sealer_ ," Blaineley remarked to the camera.

~/~

[The camera switched to a close-up of an accordion as Beardo began to play, a few other instruments joining together into a very Russian tune. The shot pulled back to show the beatboxer in his stage clothes, joined as the camera panned right by Sasquatchanakwa on balalaika, B on tuba, and Topher on his usual tambourine; all four were wearing ushankas with the flaps pinned up in addition to their stage clothes. Blaineley grinned and nodded in excitement as Sam popped up in front of the camera wearing an ushanka of his own.]

" _It's time a certain someone got a long-awaited ode_ ,"

[Sam sang with fake cheer, Blaineley happily chiming in with "Oh yeah!" before the gamer took a step back to her side.]

" _So it's up to me now to inform you she's a toad_!"

[Blaineley happiness slowly faded as Sam sung his next line, his voice becoming more hateful until he spat the last word, earning a shocked "What?!" from the song subject.]

" _She looks down upon the rest of us and thinks that she's elite_ ,"

[He adopted a haughty looking-down-his-nose look as he strutted across the stage, ending with a sharp glance back at Blaineley before he reached the stage left edge.]

" _But without the help of her entourage, she'd be on the street_!"

[He motioned to three white people standing together nearby and bobbing to the rhythm of the accordion; on the left was a skinny man holding a blow dryer with a sweater tied around his neck; in the middle was a fat man with a faint beard and a pale blue flowery shirt, his hand on the first man' shoulder; on the right was a young woman with a ponytail and a hair brush. All three had deep bags under their eyes and were linked together by a ball and chain.

As one they chorused "Hey!" at the end of Sam's line.

"Hey!" Blaineley repeated excitedly before realizing what had been sung and repeating "Heeeyyy...," more worriedly.]

" _She forced her way onto our stage, but not into our hearts_ ;"

[Sam continued, moving over to the Peanut Gallery – Beth, DJ, and Shawn were currently in the top row while Jo, Bridgette, and Geoff were in the bottom. The gamer's attention was currently on Geoff, the party-lover nodding in agreement and smiling in amusement. Sam deftly slid between the rows for his next line, which was addressed in an almost conspiratorial tone to Beth, who giggled at what he sang next.]

" _She's absolutely full of it, so be careful of her_ -"

["Whoa! No need to go there!" Blaineley interrupted, temporarily stopping the music as Sam mocking held his nose.]

"... _farts_!"

[The gamer gave her a scathing look, then forcefully finished his line at the same moment the off-screen entourage repeated their chorus of "Hey!"]

" _She'll make you think she's on your side, and your foes she will disgrace_ ,"

[Sam suddenly popped up behind Blaineley, grabbing her by the arm and swinging her into the guest couch while he took up a spot at the close edge of the host couch, leaning over and singing to her with a fake but sweet smile.]

" _Then when she has the dirt she wants, she'll mock you to your face_!"

[His smile abruptly changed to a frown and he slowly raised his right hand, causing Blaineley to grow nervous. He snapped his fingers on 'face', causing an anvil to suddenly drop. Blaineley managed to dodge away in time for both the crash and the repeated chorus of "Hey!" from her entourage.]

" _She's not the girl you think she is, so let me tell you plainly_ ;"

[Sam continued, launching into a few kazachok moves as he circled around the central table in front of the host couch back to Blaineley.]

" _There's thick black hair between her toes, and her real name isn't Blaineley_!"

[Just as she'd gotten back on her feet she was thrown off balance again as Sam reached down and held up a bare foot of hers, revealing the nasty hairs and overgrown toenails. "Hey!" the entourage chorused.]

" _She's a lying, scheming, terror-host, and her ego is ungainly_ ,"

[Sam continued, doing a few more kazachok moves as he danced around her then moved off-screen stage right and she frantically shoved her foot back into her shoe.]

" _It's hard to tell what she's faked the most, but her real name isn't Blaineley_ ~!"

[The gamer reappeared amongst the band, showing up first behind Beardo and Sasquatchanakwa before moving over to B and Topher, then back to Blaineley to get in her extremely worried face.]

"It's _Mildred_!" he announced, the woman's eyes going wide with shock and embarrassment at the same time as the entourage gave one last chorus of "Hey!" which Sam repeated himself a second later.

~/~

The crowd cheered, and Blaineley looked positively horrified as Sam left her side. "Hey Dakota, how'd I do?" he asked, looking up at the widescreen with a cocky look that quickly faded into horror. With an upwelling on ominous music, the Siberian feed was shown again revealing a large bear growling at the camera in the foreground, Dakota crouching in fear behind it. The bear slammed the camera with its claw, and the feed cut to static.

The audience and Peanut Gallery gasped. "Dakota!" Sam called out in horror.

"Great song choice for a _Blaineley superfan_ , Einstein," the older woman told him.

"Yeah, that looked like a Siberian Brown Bear," Shawn spoke up hesitantly. "I hate to say it, but Dakota _might_ be doomed."

"Great, now Dakota's doomed thanks to you!" Sam told Blaineley.

"You sang it, not me!" Blaineley retorted.

"Yeah, but you're the reason she's even _there_ in the first place!" Sam countered angrily. "And don't think for a second that you're gonna get away with this," he added. "I'm gonna take you down faster than I took down the final boss of Dragon Invasion _5_."

The remark earned enough of an 'Ooh' from the audience to make Blaineley nervous as Sam walked away. "Hey, you don't have to be so _serious_ ," she tried to tell him in an almost joking manner. "I'm sure she'll be _fine_!" The Aftermath theme began to play, and she laughed nervously then looked at the camera. "Someone's about to get another shot at the Total Drama million!" she said. "Find out who next, on Total Drama After _mayhem_!"

The crowd went wild, and a stage light suddenly fell on Blaineley's head. The title transitioned the episode to black.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

A brief flare from the title was accompanied by the Aftermath theme and the roar of the crowd as the episode resumed.

"Welcome back to Total Drama After _mayhem_!" Blaineley greeted, the main theme getting replaced by a trendier tune. The shot pulled back to show Topher, Scott, Lightning, and Sierra waiting next to her. "One of these five Total Drama rejects," Blaineley began as the camera cut to Amy grudgingly wheeling Scarlett up to the rest of the group, "is about to win our second chance challenge and go back into the big game for another shot at the million!" She was rather more excited about it than any of the five chosen players.

"So what _is_ the challenge?" she asked. "Think Total Drama: The Board Game!" An aerial shot panned across the board, consisting of four identical rows of spaces marked with either the face of a remaining player or a flag representing one of the recent locations – the order of the spaces shown was Alejandro, Area 51, Australia, Ezekiel, Greece, Sugar, Dawn, Sammy, Sweden, and Tyler with the remaining spaces left unseen.

"Wow, a board game huh?" Topher remarked. "Those haven't been popular for _decades_ , Blaineley. You're really showing your age!"

"Probably all that _foot hair_ getting to her," Scott added with a smirk.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Blaienely said irritably before putting her smile back on and a light yet subtly mysterious tune began to play. "Besides, this is no ordinary board game. The _failures_ , that's you guys," she said as the camera cut aside to show the five players and Amy looking unamused, "take turns rolling the dice and hop your way along the game board." She held up a large six-sided dice, then looked down at the board on the floor in front of them. "But roll carefully, 'cause some of the squares are _booby-trapped_!"

"Each square represents either a Final Seven player," she added as the camera zoomed in on the Alejandro spot that started off the rows, "or, one of the last five places the Total Drama plane dumped 'em." The camera began to pan rightwards, eventually revealing the last two squares as Ella and the flag of England. "Every square has a mini-challenge you'll have to complete," she said as the camera reached the end of the line, "before you roll again."

"Fail, and you're out of the running," Blaineley explained as the shot briefly cut back to her pointing a thumb back over her shoulder. "Get past this twelfth square," she continued as the camera cut back to the English flag before panning right even more to a pair of boots and then up over a familiar-looking guard, "to face this guard and his final skill-testing question. First to answer correctly wins! You guys ready to play?" She asked the question with a sly confidence as the camera cut back to her.

"Huh huh huh, _always_ ," the familiar chuckle of Sam came as the gamer walked out on stage behind Blaineley. "And right now I'm playing to _win_."

"Shouldn't you be catching the next flight to _Siberia_ right about now?" Blaineley turned around and taunted.

"Huh huh, nope!" Sam replied. "I called Dakota's dad, _he'll_ get her out of there. _I_ just needed to prep some things to give you a taste of your own medicine before we start the challenge." He put a finger to his ear piece, then added "Roll it, man!"

"Wh-what's going on?" Blaineley asked in rising panic.

"Well," Sam explained, "since you're so big on _humiliating_ everyone with clips of them at their worst, I figured I'd return the favor. And luckily for us, _you_ never noticed the green room cam is on 24/7, huh huh."

"What? No! _NOOOO_!" Blaineley exclaimed in horror.

"Yup," Sam jovially countered. "Score another point for the _real_ hosts," he told the camera, "and give it up for 'Blaineley's Greatest Hits'!"

The camera followed his motion up to the widescreen as the audience applauded, and a cheery tune opened the segment along with an image of Blaineley looking completely haggard with deep bags under her eyes, hair utterly out of place, and face contorted into an ugly grimace.

xxx

The first clip began with a close-up of a piece of pizza that Blaineley was holding. She promptly dropped it onto the green room floor, earning a few laughs from the audience as a playful version of Strauss' 'The Blue Danube' began in the background.

Quickly looking around to see that nobody was looking, Blaineley bent over and picked up the fallen slice. The audience gave a collective 'Ewww' as the camera zoomed in, showing that it had been covered by hairs, nail clippings, a used bandage, a fly and spider, and smelly lump of something disgustingly brown.

Blaineley swallowed the entire slice whole without flinching, earning another murmur of disgust from the audience.

xxx

The second clip opened with her sitting on the couch reading a magazine. She turned the page, then casually stuck a finger up her nose, rooted around for a couple seconds, then withdrew a thick and disgusting booger.

She shoved it in her mouth without even thinking about it, earning yet another cry of disgust from those watching.

xxx

The third and final clip started with a close-up of one of her feet, hairs and overgrown toenails and all. The camera zoomed out as Blaineley tried to put one of her shoes back on from a standing position; she eventually crouched down in order to force it, but as soon as she did she lost her balance and fell over.

The shoe immediately shot off her foot, ricocheting off the camera and cracking the lens.

xxx

The clips cut to static as the audience laughed, and the scene moved back to Blaineley's horrified look on stage.

Sam chuckled, drawing the camera back to him, and he said "Man, you'd be right at home with the cave trolls from Wizards Wars 4, or even Wizard Wars _3_!"

"It's amazing what editors can do with special effects and body doubles," Blaineley said in an awkward attempt at humor. Almost nobody laughed, and those who did seemed to be doing it more at Blaineley than with her. She stifled her anger, then picked up the dice as a few dramatic notes played. "Hurry," she told Lightning as she thrust the dice into his arms, "we're running late 'cause of that _fake clip_."

"Wow, hey, would you look at that, we _are_ running late!" Sam taunted, exaggeratedly looking at his watch. "Good thing that doesn't really _matter_ to anyone here..."

"Haha, yeah...," Blaineley said nervously.

"Oh yeah!" Sam said as though having a sudden realization. "Didn't you say something about how you don't get paid if the show runs over time or something?"

"No, _we_ don't get paid," Blaineley corrected sharply.

Sam shrugged. "Sorry, but I'm kinda having trouble caring."

"Back to the stupid game," Blaineley said irritably. "You're up, Brightning!"

"Sha- _finally_!" the uber-jock said as the shot zoomed out to show him already in position at the starting line for the top row of the board. "Alright dice, roll high for the Lightning! Sha- _roll_!" He shook the oversized die a few times, then tossed it onto the game board as the audience cheered.

It landed on 1.

" _Dang_...," Lightning griped as he took a single step forward onto Alejandro's square.

"Huhuh, looks like you got the Alejandro challenge," Sam chuckled as hurdles were dropped onto every other space in front of Lightning.

"All you have to do is clear all six of these hurdles," Blaineley explained as the camera panned across the hurdles.

"Easy!" Lightning said confidently as the shot snapped back to him.

"Except you gotta do it all on your _hands_ ," Sam added with a light chuckle.

" _What_?" the athlete said in surprise.

"You heard me, man," Sam said. "You can have a bit of a run-up, but your feet can't touch the ground from start to finish. If you can do it-"

He was cut off by an impatient Blaineley's hand over his mouth. "You're still in the game!" she told him quickly before dashing over to him and pushing him back so he could get his run-up. "Now hurry up!" she added as the camera showed a close-up of his hands being placed on the stage floor. The shot pulled back to show him standing in a wobbly upside-down position, focusing primarily on keeping himself balanced.

"Okay, you have sixty seconds, _go_!" Blaineley hurriedly told him, and the camera zoomed in dramatically as Lightning grinned and took off. A fast-paced tune started to play as he ran forward on his hands, the crowd cheering as he jumped over the first hurdle. They cheered again as he cleared the second hurdle, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth, growing more confident with each jump he successfully made. So confident, in fact, that for the sixth and final hurdle he decided to show off by launching himself into a flying somersault, which he easily landed. On his _feet_.

"Oooh," the crowd winced along with Sam and Blaineley, Lightning proud grin quickly dissolving into confusion at the reaction he'd gotten.

"Sorry man," Sam told him slowly and apologetically enough that Blaineley cut him off again.

"Landing on your feet means you _lost_ your challenge!" she said, dragging him back away from the board.

"Seriously?" the uber-jock protested. "Lightning thought that rule only applied while he was runnin'!"

"Too bad so sad," Blaineley told him, swinging him around and pushing him off-screen. "Sierra, you're up!"

"Woohoo!" Sierra cheered as she dashed over to the starting line and raised the die over her head. "C'mon, momma needs a new spot on that plane!" she said as she violently shook it, then slammed it down onto the board. It landed on 4. "Woo! Four!" she cheered.

"You're only a third of the way there, don't get _too_ excited!" Topher taunted, to which she looked back and blew a raspberry at him.

"Okay, step right on up to the Zeke square," Sam told her jovially, "but hey, there's no-" she immediately zipped over with a wide grin on her face, "- _rush_ ," Sam finished with a heavy sigh.

"Yes there is!" Blaineley countered, quickly putting herself between Sierra and the gamer. "Your challenge is to translate _this_ previously unaired sound byte said in a foreign language by Ezekiel at some point on the plane. Roll the clip!" she hollered off-stage, and all focus moved to the widescreen as it displayed a single-line spectrogram.

"Eímai polý kalós sto pétagma, eh," the familiar voice of Ezekiel said.

A tense tune began as the focus moved back to Sierra, Blaineley, and Sam. "Okay, you've got forty-five seconds!" Blaineley said hurriedly.

"Hmm...," Sierra said, rubbing her chin in thought. "I don't know the language, but he sounds tired yet _proud_ of himself meaning he's probably just won a challenge. Considering all the languages _he_ knows, that means it's most likely right after he won the tiebreaker in Greece. In those situations Ezekiel tends to _brag_ , so I'm guessing it's something like 'I'm really good at flying, eh.'" She looked up at the hosts hopefully.

"And the answer is...," Sam said, drawing out the tension before Blaineley interrupted once again.

" _Correct_!" she announced to a round of applause and a squeal of excitement from Sierra.

"Pfft, lucky guess," Topher muttered bitterly. Sierra blew another raspberry at him.

"Alright, up next is our resident evil mastermind, Scarlett!" Blaineley announced calmly. "Amy, if you'd be so kind?"

The camera moved to the rather annoyed cheerleader who was still stuck wheeling Scarlett around. She parked the captive genius at the starting line, then grumbled as she picked up the oversized dice.

"Okay," Scarlett told her through her mask, "in order to maximize the chances of a six, you should-"

"What _ever_ ," Amy grunted, tossing the dice onto the board without ceremony. It landed on a 5. "Let's just get this over with," she added as she grabbed the hand truck's handles and wheeled Scarlett forward.

"While you _did_ end up rolling high," Scarlett told her unwilling attendant, "I would prefer it if you actually listened to my instructions."

"Uggh, this better end _quickly_ ," Amy muttered as she pushed Scarlett onto the Greek flag square, which promptly revealed itself as a trapdoor and dropped Scarlett through the stage with an angry yell. "Okay, that works!" Amy said brightly as the audience cheered.

"Well then, one less player means we can pick up the pace," Blaineley smirked. "Thanks Amy, you can hit the gallery," she motioned for the cheerleader to move off stage right. "I think there's an empty seat beside your ex- _boytoy_."

Amy huffed, then went to take a seat on the couch next to Lightning. They spent a second or two in awkward silence before Amy finally spoke up. "Soooo...," she said, rolling her eyes and turning a flirtatious smile his way.

"Not. Interested," Lightning told her without so much as a single glance, causing Amy to huff and cross her arms, her face settling into a glare.

"Okay Scott, your roll," Blaineley told the scowling farmer who was waiting at the starting line with an impatient Topher.

Scott tossed the dice, and it came up 2. " _Great_ ," he said as he walked onto the designated square as the audience cheered.

"Area 51!" Blaineley confirmed.

"Alright soldier, listen up," Sam told him. "Your mission is to dodge some carefully-aimed lasers without breaking contact with the square," he explained as odd mechanical towers were lowered down on either side of him, each of which had what looked like a column of opening where lasers could be shot from. Scott was immediately nervous. "If you don't, a pair of alien facehoggers-" a pair of the floating leaf-shaped aliens that had been seen in the Black Box warehouse appeared next to the farmer, scaring him even more.

"-will not so much _hog_ your face as they will squeeze the life out of it," Blaineley finished. "Ready, and-"

"Whoa, can't I do something _else_?" Scott asked quickly, eying the aliens warily.

"Not if you _want_ to die," Blaineley said sharply. "Go!'

A trendy electronic tune began to play as lasers shot out one by one, going from a hole in one tower to a hole in the other one. Scott was surprisingly adept at dodging them just in time, though he was looking more and more frantic with each one.

"Huh huh, who knew Scott could move like that?" Sam chuckled from the sidelines before Scott was shown dodging again, several of the positions he had to force himself into being reminiscent of various dance moves.

"Wow, are you available for birthday parties?" Blaineley added, almost impressed. Scott was shown dodging two lasers at once now, and some of his dodges started to resemble kazachok moves. "Hey, we should've had _him_ do the dancing for the song earlier," Blaineley remarked.

The lasers kept coming quicker and quicker, and despite his best efforts Scott was eventually zapped in the back of the neck causing him to yelp and jump off the square. The two aliens immediately moved towards him, causing the farmer to yell and flee off-screen. "Aaaaagh! Get these things _away_ from me!" he screamed, flailing his arms in panic as he ran back across the screen. He disappeared from the camera's line of sight for a few seconds, then ran back across to the right with the aliens now attached to his head. Still screaming, he ran off-screen again and promptly crashed into something.

"Enjoy your facial!" Blaineley taunted.

"Hey, looks like it's down to just Sierra and Topher now," Sam remarked, the camera pulling out from him to show Sierra standing back in her spot on the game board and exchanging a glare with Topher, who had picked up the dice. "Roll away, man!" Sam told him.

"With pleasure!" Topher replied, the crowd cheering as he tossed the die onto the game board. It rolled halfway down the board, and landed on the highest number possible.

"Six!" Sam called out, the camera zoomed in on the dice on top of the pageant queen's face as Topher casually walked over.

"The Sugar square!" Blaineley added, the shot pulling back to show the two hosts and two contestants. "Your challenge is to create a haiku...whatever _that_ is."

"It's a three-line Japanese poem," Sam explained offhandedly. "Seventeen syllables total, five-seven-five."

"Well aren't _you_ a know-it-all," Blaineley told him.

He shrugged. "What can I say, it comes up every now and then in JRPGs. Anyway," he turned back to Topher, "what with this being the Sugar square and all, your haiku has to be about an aspect of beauty pageant star Sugar's, uh, _beauty_."

"Hmm," Topher said, rubbing his chin in thought, "this is _tricky_..."

"More like _impossible_ ," Sierra corrected haughtily, still standing nearby with her hands on her hips. "But that just means _I'm_ going to win!"

Topher snorted. "As _if_."

"Okay, let's get this challenge going," Blaineley said hurriedly. "You have ten seconds, starting _now_!" The ticking of a clock started in the background.

With a quick glance at his rival, Topher smiled mischievously before clearing his throat. "A glorious shine; I can see my face in them; Sugar's pageant shoes," he recited calmly.

The clock dinged, and the crowd cheered. "Hey, nice job!" Sam congratulated him. "You pass the challenge, meaning you're still in the running for a second chance."

"Let's go peeps," Blaineley interrupted in a rush, "quick like bunnies! Sierra, you're up." The shot cut over to Sierra, her lips pursed in annoyance as she threw the oversized die down on the board. A close-up showed it landing on 3, and Blaineley announced "The _Dawn_ square!" as Sierra walked up along her row, sticking her tongue out at Topher as she passed him. She stopped on the seventh square, and gave Blaineley and Sam an expectant look.

"Your challenge is to balance on one foot on top of _this_ pole," Blaineley said, the camera following her hand motion to Sierra's feet as a small section of stage shot up on a tall pole. A short but dramatic tune played as the fangirl rapidly rose up, stopping just below the stage lights.

"All you gotta do is stay in position up there for twenty seconds!" Sam explained loudly. "Timer starts once you're ready!"

The camera immediately quick-panned up to Sierra, who was shakily standing on one foot. "Ready!" she hesitantly called out.

"Let's get this challenge over with," Blaineley said, nodding off-screen. The ticking clock began again, and the studio and background music became tense.

"You're a creepy hack and nobody likes you!" Topher immediately shouted up at his rival.

"Lalala, I'm not listening!" Sierra said, the shot cutting upwards to show her closing her eyes and staying balanced quite nicely.

"Your blogs are only a fad, you'll be lucky to get even a single hit a year from now!" Topher added.

"Still not _listening_!" Sierra repeated, eyes still clenched shut but with anger still visible on her face. At last the timer dinged and the crowd cheered, signaling that she'd finished her challenge. The pole began to retract into the stage, but part of the way down Sierra jumped off and landed on Topher, pinning the boy to the stage. "Oops!" she giggled maliciously.

"Okay, Topher's turn, go go go!" Blaineley said, rushing forward impatiently to pull Topher out from under his rival, then shove the dice into his arms. Topher quickly shook away the daze, then rolled the dice with a smile.

It landed on 6, and he pumped his fist. "Oh yeah! The Topher scores _another_ perfect six!" He turned and gave his rival a cocky grin. "Looks like you lose!" he taunted, earning a huff in return before walking forward to the final square.

Blaineley quickly stepped behind him and pushed him along, then gave him a burlap sack. "Quickly now, use the sack and capture the intern who's dressed like Jack the Ripper," she said, pulling a white male intern into the shot who was wearing most of Staci's costume from London, though the mask wasn't pulled on all the way. He waved awkwardly, then pulled the mask down to complete his look.

"Drag him over to Sergeant Beefy here to get the skill-testing question," Blaineley said after running over to the English guard. "Forty-five seconds, go!"

A dramatic challenge tune began as Topher donned a confident grin. "Well my man, I hope you're ready for the Topher _Experience_!" The Intern-Ripper trembled nervously, then turned and ran. Topher was right on his tail, the sack raised threateningly high. "Aww, come on! Don't be like that!" he taunted, chasing the Ripper across the stage, circling around Blaineley and the guard, then running back past Sam. Topher chased his quarry off-camera, and shortly after a crash was heard from off-stage.

Sam's blank look became a smile as he put a finger to his ear piece and said "Cool! The satellite feed is back up!"

The camera zoomed out to show him standing next to an artsy widescreen anchored to the ground; the static on its screen quickly cut away to a close-up of a roaring bearing. "Well that's not what I wanted to see right now," Sam said in shock.

The image from the satellite feed pulled back as the bear finished what ended up being a rather pitiful roar, revealing that Dakota was wrapping bandages around its left front paw.

"Huh, didn't take her as an _animal lover_ ," Blaineley commented as she walked up next to Sam.

"Sorry, Sam," the heiress turned to tell the camera, "but I _so_ cannot turn down an opportunity for good publicity like this. Besides, Bruno's a total cutie once you get to know him and I'd feel bad just leaving before he's better!" She shared a warm smile with the bear and patted it on the head.

"But what about the _show_?" Sam asked in dull shock. "It _needs_ you! _I_ need you! I can't keep doing this with just _Blaineley_!" He motioned to his unwanted cohost with a look of disgust, and Dakota looked up at the camera filming her just as its feed cut to static. "No!" Sam exclaimed, reaching out at the widescreen in vain before slumping.

He sighed, then turned around and frowned at Blaineley. "I hope you _realize_ -" he began to say before Blaineley interrupted him again.

"-this means _war_?" Blaineley finished, unimpressed and unaware of the building dramatic score. "Yeah, well it's a little late for _that_ , gamer boy. Your threats don't-"

It was Blaineley's turn to be interrupted, this time by a Ripper-filled sack being tossed at her at the background music peaked. The captured intern on top of her gave her a sheepish look which she returned with a scowl, and Topher sauntered up to them with a cocky grin on his face.

"Well would you look at that, Topher does it again!" he said, winking at the cheering audience. "So what's my _final question_?" he asked, idly watching as the Ripper-intern stood up and ran away.

"Hey, nice shot man," Sam told Topher. "Glad to know I'm not the _only_ one who wants to see her get what she deserves."

"Thanks, I try," Topher replied proudly.

" _Whatever_ ," Blaineley spat as she stood up and quickly brushed herself off. "No time! Read the question!" she said, pointing an angry finger at the guard behind her.

The old man opened his eyes in what almost looked like panic, then started patting himself down looking for the question. After a few seconds with Blaineley scowling impatiently at him he finally raised a finger in realization, then lifted his hat and retrieved the note card from under it.

He slowly cleared his throat in preparation, but Blaineley gave an impatient grunt and swiped the card away from him. "What's the name and exact relation of Staci's relative that was featured on the last Aftermath?" she quickly turned and asked Topher.

" _Hmm_...," Topher said, tapping his chin dramatically.

"Come on, it's easy!" Blaineley told him frantically.

"Yeah, but it's so hard to _think_ knowing that you might get fired if you blow up on stage again, and then _I'll_ get to fill in as cohost while Dakota's gone!" Topher answered with an impish shrug.

"Come on, Topher, just say it's Staci's second cousin's Uncle Borys!" Blaineley snapped in frustration. "Her second cousin's Uncle Borys is the answer!"

A single, ominous ding heralded a round of cheering from the audience accented with a few party noisemakers, and accompanied by a shower of celebratory confetti and balloons. "What?!" Blaineley asked, looking up in shock and rising horror.

Sam looked up as well, then grinned upon realizing what had happened. "Would you look at that, Blaineley, you've won!" he said, darting forward to shake her hand while Topher watched excitedly. "You were the first person to answer the final question correctly, meaning you've earned yourself a one-way ticket to the Total Drama Jumbo Jet! Congratulations!" The celebration died down as Sam spoke, and a tense tune rose up in the background music.

" _Me_?" Blaineley repeated in shock. "Out _there_? With those...those...those _losers_?" she stammered in rising anger. "Forget it! No one can make me go! _No one_!"

A dramatic chord was struck as Blaineley abruptly stopped and nervously looked around. The camera pulled back to reveal that three male interns had surrounded her – a black one in front was tapping a baseball bat menacingly in his hands, a white one behind her had a length of rope at the ready, and the former Ripper stood in the background holding the sack.

"Except maybe them," Blaineley meekly told the camera before running off between the two white interns, all three giving chase. Sounds of a struggle were heard the moment the four left the shot.

The audience cheered, and the Aftermath theme began to play as Sam stepped forward. "And that's our show, everybody!" he said. "Dakota won't be back for a while, but fortunately for us neither will Blaineley."

He paused as the three interns came back into view, two of them carrying Blaineley tied up in a sack and the former Ripper hauling a large pule of luggage. "Let go!" Blaineley protested. "I have no chance! They'll edit me into some kind of shrill rude catty _monster_!" Both Sam and Topher did nothing but smile and wave as she was carried past.

"Next time, we'll-" Sam continued before Topher stepped in front of him.

"-we'll be coming to _live_ from our top secret finale location!" the wannabe host finished with great enthusiasm, earning an annoyed look from Sam.

"To give you an _amazing_ sneak peek at all the carnage in store for our Final Two!" Sam continued, forcing himself into the front once more.

"Oh ho ho, it's gonna be _brutal_!" Topher said, eagerly rubbing his hands together as he stepped in front of Sam again.

"Right here on _Total_ ," Sam said, putting an arm out in front of Topher, giving him a look, and stepping forward so that they were side-by-side.

" _Drama_ ," Topher said, briefly meeting Sam's eyes before grinning at the camera.

" _Aftermath_!" the two boys said together to a wild round of applause.

Topher was tackled by Sierra moments later, and Sam palmed his face as they began to struggle off-camera.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And there you have it, folks! Just like in canon, Blaineley has entered the game as a contestant. I'll admit I did give some consideration into other choices that you readers suggested, especially Topher since he was already gonna be the one asked the final question, but ultimately it wasn't really a close decision. Blaineley's impatience leading to her humiliating exit from the Aftermath is a great end to her arc as a host, and she happens to be the best suited to enter the game and stir things up for several reasons I won't go into yet. If you're skeptical, then I guess I have no choice but to ask you to trust me on this one.

That aside, as I said before, this chapter isn't too different from canon. The plot is the same, meaning I have to rely on the different characters to carry things. I actually really enjoyed the focus on Sam as a host, he's got a different feel and sense of humor than Geoff did. And then we have Topher and Sierra, Scarlett and Amy and Lightning, Scott, and Shawn added to the mix as well. Plus confirmation of Scarlett's fate (even if it isn't really expounded upon), as well as some hints about Momma DJ's reaction to her son's love life.

All in all I think it's a fairly enjoyable chapter despite being so similar to canon. I'm as eager as always to here all of your thoughts, however, so I'll see you all next week!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (17th Place)

Lightning - (16th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (15th Place)

Geoff - (14th Place)

Scott - (13th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (12th Place)

Sierra - (11th Place)

DJ - (10th Place)

Shawn - (9th Place)

Staci - (8th Place)


	19. Chapter 19 - Niagara Brawls

**Author's Note**

Here we are at long last, the beginning of the fourth quarter of Total Shuffled Wolrd Tour! The episodes from here on out are, as previously stated, following the canon order - meaning Niagara Falls today, then China next week, and so on. The finale is quickly approaching, and I'm quite excited about it.

Because I was able to finish next week's episode last night, I have Saturday free meaning **fans of Total Drama Rebirth should expect a new chapter Saturday or Sunday**. If you haven't checked that fic out yet, then I encourage you to do so - it's a little different, but it's good.

And now for this week's batch of reviews.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Hahaha, thanks. I always like to see that level of excitement about my work.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks! That's really the bets I could hope for; knowing that I still wanted Blaineley's Aftermath arc to end the same as canon meant I couldn't do much to alter the plot, so I'm glad the Shuffled cast made up for it.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Hah, yeah, sorry about the fake-out. But I've had Blaineley in mind for this for a while now, and nobody else really compares. But this is because, unlike canon, I actually have more things for Blaineley to do other than the handful of things she accomplished in canon - a bit of comic relief, getting Chef in trouble, and her admittedly great last scene. I hope you enjoy what I do with her.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** I'm glad you liked it, especially the Topher and Sierra moments as it's been a while since their rivalry has been in=focus. I know Blaineley isn't a lot of people's favorite characters, but I had her enter the competition for a reason and I hope you enjoy the next couple chapters.

 **bruno14:** Haha, yeah, I think a lot of people were rooting for Topher to win a spot on the plane. Ultimately, though, I just wanted to give the spot to Blaineley. Glad you loved the song and the challenge, even though they were so similar to canon. Oh, and I wouldn't call Dakota an animal lover exactly, but she knows that helping an injured bear will help her image.

 **DSX62415:** Yeah, pretty much! Humiliated on the Aftermath, and sent to a show where she's destined to be humiliated further. That's just the role Blaineley fills in the Total Drama universe.

 **Animation Adventures:** Hah, I think most of us love it when Blaineley suffers - she's a character that's designed to be disliked. if not outright hated. Glad you enjoyed the Second Chance Challenge - Scarlett was an obvious pick, just for the pitfall gag alone; Scott gave it a bit of snark in Noah's place; Lightning seemed like he'd make for an entertaining loss; and of course the Sierra-Topher rivalry had to be included once I'd decided on Topher as the requisite 'wasn't on the plane in the first place' competitor. And honestly, the whole ending was the first time I really felt able to do something major with Topher's 'I want to be the host' thing, since I ignored it during the first two seasons and wasn't able to display it as much as I wanted this season. Oh, and thanks for reminding me that I didn't talk about the song in last week's Post Script; as you said it was a Shuffled mix, and I'm kinda proud of it. Fun fact: the line "She forced her way onto our stage, but not into our hearts" was the first original line I came up with for it.

 **I. M. Poik:** Glad to hear all the canon mirrors and Shuffled callbacks went over so well! I mean, I wasn't really worried about them, but it's always nice to hear when people like the little details. Regarding the lack of a Fugitives segment, I decided that since the canon episode didn't have it, there wasn't enough 'time' for it, and it would be explained soon enough anyways, it wasn't worth including, so sorry to disappoint. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this week's episode!

 **RedHornedUnicowz:** Thanks! And yeah, the Blaineley montage was meant to be disgusting; it was meant to humiliate her, after all.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yup, that's exactly why I left out any mention of Staci last week - there wasn't any Fugitives segment in canon, so I saw no reason (or opportunity) to include one in my version. Meaning, as you said, that the episode was very close to canon. Luckily, the characters made up for it I think - the Topher-Sierra rivalry will always be going strong, but at least Scarlett's been wrapped up for the time being. Nice predictions as always; and I'm interested to see how, if at all, they change with this and the next few chapters.

 **FOWLKON:** True, Blaineley is a pretty flat character, but that doesn't mean flat character don't have their uses. And I am admittedly sad that I didn't get the opportunity to give the last few eliminated players more time to talk, but that's the price I have to pay for sticking to the canon episode format.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Don't worry, I have a few plans in store for Blaineley - she won't be as disappointing as in canon, I think. Glad you loved Sam and especially Topher last week; the latter especially is someone I've wanted to give more Aftermath screentime to for a while. His decision to stall for time at Blaineley's expense was just too good to pass up, as was using Uncle Borys for the final question - it needed to be something related at least tangentially to London, and since that's when Staci returned I figured it would be nice to reference her relative. I'm glad you liked it!

 **Commander Meat:** Awesome, always great to hear from long-time fans. I'm glad you loved the chapter, and the scenes with Scarlett and Amy!

 **CVluvFoxy:** Hey, no problem about not having reviewed in a while, I know these things happen. I'm glad you've enjoyed the past two episodes, and don't worry - I have plans for her, as you'll soon find out.

 **The Prime Writer:** Yeah, that's kinda what I was thinking with Staci - she could be useful in other roles, but ultimately I just wanted to keep her more-or-less contained to a few short bursts. I'm glad you're liking Ella's development, and I hope you enjoy what's to come with her. And yeah, Blaineley's vindictiveness and ability to actually reveal important secrets was one of the main draws to including her in the competition. I'm glad you enjoyed all the little touches with the Aftermath last week, and I'll admit that figuring out how Dakota and Bruno would interact took a little thinking - but ultimately, I decided she would help him, just for different reasons that Bridgette did in canon. And as always, thank you so much for reviewing.

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed the Aftermath and I hope you enjoy what happens with Blaineley. And yeah, I see what you mean now about your previous review, though it's not something I would've done.

 **ljninja:** Always great to hear from long-time fans, and Ezekiel-lovers to boot! Interesting prediction, and I'm interested in seeing your reaction to how things play out.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Yeah, she never really did very much in canon, but luckily I have plans to rectify that mistake - hopefully I've pulled them off well enough. Glad you enjoyed the scenes you mentioned; Lightning turning down Amy was just such an obvious parallel to do with the Gwen-Trent scene from canon, and I couldn't pass up giving Scarlett the Hannibal treatment. As for the clip of Blaineley revealing her true weight, I just honestly don't like those 'haha, look how fat she is' types of jokes. And with Sam being fat himself, I don't think he'd pick it for the 'Best Of' reel even knowing it would embarrass her.

And that's that for this week's reviews. As always, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next.

For those who have forgotten, the contestants as they are at the beginning of this week's episode are still as follows:

Team Victory \- Ezekiel, Tyler, Ella, Sugar

Team Universe \- Sammy, Alejandro, Dawn

But that's about to change, of course - Blaineley will enter, the teams will merge, and it'll be every player for themselves! ...and their spouses, because they're getting married this week. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 19 – Niagara Brawls**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour," Chris opened as the plane was shown spinning out on the Swedish ice, "the gang nearly turned into Swedish meatball pops!" he added over a shot of the cast shivering before the recap flashed ahead to Dawn and Sammy conversing in economy class, getting Alejandro involved as well. "But our competition heated _way_ up when Dawn and Samey put the burn on Alejandro to try and break his hold over Ella." The two blondes were shown taunting their teammate from afar during the boat-building challenge, then conspiring together in the cargo hold.

"But Alejandro was holding on _tight_ to Ella's heart," Chris added over a clip of Alejandro finally telling Ella that he loved her, " _steamy_! Meanwhile, Sugar was taking advantage of Ella and Alejandro's love-fest by convincing _Tyler_ to give up on his crush." Sugar was shown talking to the jock at various point throughout the episode, Tyler's mood dropping more and more with each passing shot.

"Unfortunately, her and Alejandro's plans went down _blazing_ when Samey and Dawn _finally_ got Ella to see Al for who he really is," Chris finished over clips of Sammy leading Ella down the hall to first class, then both listening in as Dawn got Alejandro to reveal his plans, and lastly Ella confronting her former crush, slapping him and running away in tears.

"Will Alejandro be able to recover?" Chris asked from the cockpit as the recap montage ended. "We'll see, 'cause this time I'm adding someone's who gonna kick things up to thermo _nuclear_!" he declared excitedly, Chef rolling his eyes from the pilot's seat. "This show is _so_ hot, it'd take about a bazillion gallons of water to cool us off. And we got 'em!" he added slyly. "Comin' up, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

A flock of geese flew under the plane as the intro sequence ended.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

An ominous tune was playing as the episode faded into a shot of the Total Drama plane in flight; the shot cut from there to a close-up of Staci sound asleep, curled up on what appeared to be a bed made out of a parachute. The camera pulled back a ways to reveal the wolfish girl slumbering in some secluded cranny in the inner workings of the plane, and with a continuous snoring the shot quick-panned down to the cargo hold where, oddly enough, most of the rest of the cast were sleeping themselves. Sammy, Dawn, Tyler, Ezekiel, Ella, and Alejandro were spread out over the cargo bay door with a pair of swan-shaped paddle boats, and a pair of interns soon dragged Sugar over by the armpits to join them.

The camera zoomed in on her snoring face, and a ripple effect transitioned the scene to what could only have been her dream.

/

A crowd was already cheering as a spotlight switched on, illuminating only Sugar as an emotional but victorious song began to play. The pageant queen was dressed in a lovely pink pageant gown, and smiling to the point of tears at the flowers she was holding, the sash labeled 'WINNER' slung over her, and the tiara in her hair.

"Thank you!" she told the invisible crowd through her tears, waving pageant-style and blowing a few kisses. "I love you all!"

The music suddenly turned sour as the sound of a pathetic sob was heard, and another spotlight switched on next to Sugar. The pageant star gasped, then scowled as she looked over to see none other than Ella, kneeling down on the 'floor' in her usual clothes and sobbing into her hands.

"Hey!" Sugar shouted angrily. "What're _you_ doin' here in _my_ dream, huh?"

The only answer she got was a renewed sobbing from her hated teammate, until Chris suddenly walked on-stage under a spotlight of his own. He was wearing the same light blue suit and tie he'd worn for the Gilded Chris ceremonies in season two, and had a very business-like demeanor as he walked past Sugar and took away the flowers, the sash, and the tiara. "Sorry," he told Sugar in a clearly non-apologetic tone, "but we have to give all this stuff to the girl we feel _sorry_ for."

"What? But, but you can't!" Sugar said in horror, trying and failing to reach out to Chris as he walked away. The 'camera' showed the dreamer's perspective as she watched the host deliver the various trophies to Ella, who stopped crying and stood up the moment she had them. The roar of the crowd increased as Ella wiped away her tears, then turned and gave Sugar a dark and devilish smile.

"No...," Sugar muttered as the view switched back to her anguished face. "NOOOOO!"

/

The scene rippled back to the real world, a dramatic score playing as the camera pulled back from Sugar's face. The pageant star had woken up mid-scream, realized she was falling through the air along with the rest of the cast, and screamed again.

"Ahhh! Nooo! Y'all better wake up or we're gonna _die_!" she yelled, finally rousing those closest to her – Sammy, Ella, and Ezekiel – out of their slumber.

"Wha...huh?" Ezekiel muttered as he came to his senses enough to look down, realize what was going on, and scream. The shot pulled out again to show all seven contestants awake and screaming and falling, along with the pair of swan boats.

"Hey kids!" Chris called out, the shot changing to show him looking down from the open cargo hold. "You better get into your _paddle boats_!"

"Huh?" Ezekiel repeated in confusion before looking around in a panic and noticing the swan-shaped vessel. He quickly grabbed onto its neck, and the camera zoomed out to show Tyler and Sammy grab onto its back. A pan to the right showed Sugar, Ella, Alejandro, and Dawn grabbing the other one, and moments later the boats splashed down into a river running through a hilly forest.

"Ooh," Chris winced from the plane.

The shot cut back down to the water, the boats now floating with the current to the right. The seven contestants, dazed and drenched, got back on their feet. "Oh em gee, I thought we were _done_ with the surprise free-falling," Sammy told the boys she was sharing a boat with.

Ezekiel nodded, as did Tyler before he looked back and adopted a look of panic. "Oh man," he said, frantically tapping Ezekiel on the shoulder while still looking backward, "wa...wa...water...!"

"Err, yer not just sayin' where we are, are you?" Ezekiel asked in confusion and growing panic as he and Sammy saw what Tyler had seen and gasped.

The camera cut to the large, roaring, and familiar-looking waterfall they were headed towards.

"Oh no!" Dawn cried as she and the other people in the second boat saw it.

"Waterfall!" Alejandro exclaimed, a dramatic note playing as he turned around in his seat and started paddling. "Quick! Paddle!" he commanded, Sugar immediately complying in the seat next to him while Dawn and Ella gave panicked looks backward.

"Hurry!" Ezekiel chimed in from the back of the first boat, Tyler and Sammy currently at the paddles.

"Okay, if we survive this," Sammy prayed with a look above, "I will _so_ try to be more forgiving towards Amy even though she _so_ doesn't deserve it!"

"If _we_ survive," Alejandro chimed in with a similar look, "I'll forgive _her_ for setting me up!"

"Umm, I can't promise _I'll_ forgive anyone if we survive," Ella added with a brief but pained glare at Alejandro before she looked skyward, "but if we do, I will repay _all_ the love that Tyler has shown me these past few weeks that I ignored for _him_!"

Alejandro scowled at the remark but did not look at her, but the camera panned ahead to the other boat to show that Tyler had indeed been listening, and his brow had shot up in surprise. It quickly faded into steely determination, and he dramatically pushed up his sleeves while declaring "That's it! I am _not_ gonna let anybody die, _especially_ not Ella! You with me?"

The question was directed at Sammy, who was momentarily startled by it. "Huh? Oh, uh, yeah?"

"Cool," Tyler nodded before turning back to his friend in the back seat. "Sorry dude, but I'm gonna have to ask a _favor_."

"Err...," was all Ezekiel managed to say before Tyler tied a rope around his waist then threw him at the other boat. He managed to grab onto the swan's neck, then looked back and angrily shook his fist. "What do you think yer _doin_ ', ya knob?"

"Saving us!" Tyler replied, tying the other end of the rope around his own waist then resuming his paddling. Several people screamed as the camera zoomed out to show the boats drifting dangerously close to the falls, until Tyler's paddling suddenly took effect and the lead boat took off, towing the other boat behind it.

The shot cut to a close-up of the river bank, the two boats shooting across the screen and crashing to the left out of sight. The camera panned across the landing site, the swan boats undamaged but the contestants strewn about panting in relief – except for Tyler, who's legs were sticking out of the stand and flailing.

"Oh no, Tyler!" Ella gasped, dashing forward and grabbing him. With a few tugs and a grunt of effort she managed to pull him free, and they shared a smile once he was back on his feet. "Thank you for saving us Tyler, it was very brave."

"No problem," the jock replied with a goofy and lovesick smile. "I'd do anything for _you_ ," he added, grabbing her arms, leaning forward, and puckering up.

Surprisingly, Ella looked taken aback by the sudden gesture. "Thank you, that's very sweet," she told him, "but we should probably check on the others first," she said with a bashful smile and a short point off-screen. Tyler looked a little startled, but let her go.

xxx

"I know I promised to pay back all the love that Tyler has shown me," Ella confessed, "but with it still being so _soon_ after my break-up with Alejandro, I don't think I'm ready to go very _far_ with him or anything. Sorry," she finished sheepishly.

xxx

"So, Niagara Falls is pretty awesome, eh?" Chris asked as the footage skipped forward to the cast walking along the beach with Chris coming up from the opposite direction.

"Yo, it nearly killed us eh!" Ezekiel countered.

"Like I said, awesome!" Chris replied. The camera cut to a close-up of the misty and rocky bottom of the falls, and the host continued. "The Falls is the jewel in Canada's crown," he explained as the shot panned up, "and, one of the top ten natural wonders in the world. It's also know for its fabulous casino," he added as the camera cut back to the beach, "which is where we'll be heading for the first part of the challenge."

The contestants smiled excitedly. "Wow, are you being serious?" Sammy asked as an angelic note played in the background.

/

The a rotating wipe transitioned the footage ahead, the contestants in the same position but now frowning. "Are you being serious?" Sammy repeated uncomfortably.

"Since you're all underage," Chris explained as the shot pulled back to show the cast assembled in what appeared to be the open space between a stage and its seating area, "we had to move the challenge from the gambling floor to the far less exciting casino concert hall." As his arms spread wide the camera zipped backward, revealing the various levels of seating and of course the stage itself.

"Ooh, I wonder if anybody's performin' today?" Sugar wondered excitedly.

"Well you're in luck, Sugar," Chris answered. "Last time on the Aftermath show, they had a 'Second Chance' challenge where one of the _losers_ could score a spot back in the game. And we're about to enjoy a little number from the winner."

"Ooh, I hope it's _DJ_ ," Sammy said with an eager nod at Dawn who responded in kind.

"Well, as long as it isn't _Scarlett_ again," Alejandro said to the general agreement of all.

"She's 200 pounds of _sassy_ in a 90 pound package," Chris announced dramatically, the camera panning across the confused faces of the contestants as they tried to figure out who would be joining them, "and she's wearing 12 pounds of mascara. Iiiiit's, _Blaineley_!" He finished his announcement with a dramatic motion up towards the stage.

" _Qu_ _é_?" Alejandro asked in shock.

" _What_?" Ezekiel added.

" _Who_?" Sugar finished, joining the other in looking up at the stage above.

~/~

[A trendy electronic theme began to play as the camera panned upwards, the stage lights flashing on and off as a gigantic cake rose out layer by layer from the stage floor with a familiar blonde-haired, red-dressed woman standing proudly on a barrel at the very top.]

" _Blain-Blain-Blain-Blain-Blainerific is my name, dishing dirt is my game_! _Invading your TV with my Blainelicious frame_!"

[Blaineley sung into her microphone, the area behind her rapidly sliding away to be replaced by a red carpet scene for the second phrase. She shook her booty for the camera a few times, then the shot pulled back to show the red carpet scene through a television on a cart that Ezekiel was standing in front of with a wide grin.]

" _Bla-Blainerific! S-s-so terrific_!"

[Ezekiel sang, moving his hands in the shape of Blaineley's curves which hung on-screen as a dotted line. As he sang, Blaienely could be seen turning around on the television screen, then darting off. She reappeared at the end of Ezekiel's line, and shoved him away.]

" _I'm fa-fa-famous! Famous_!"

[She sang, striking a pose then turning to the side to allow the camera c lose-up of her in profile.]

" _Isn't this against the rules? Does Chris think we're a buncha tools_?"

[Tyler sang as an aside to Sugar, the scene moving back to the casino concert hall.]

" _Rules? This ain't no Sunday school, Miss Thang up there's a ratings jewel!_ "

[Chris answered, abruptly leaning towards the jock and startling him]

" _Bla-Blainerific_!"

[Ezekiel added in front of a shot of Blaineley confidently walking across the stage, dropping down when the woman came upon a thoughtful-looking Ella.]

" _I-It's not a tri-ick_!"

[The princess added cheerily as Blaineley walked by and promptly pulled a cord of rope hanging at the edge of the stage, causing Ella to drop through a trap door.]

" _I'm fa-fa-famous. Famous_!"

[Blaineley repeated as she walked off stage and into what looked like some sort of coffee shop, where Alejandro and Ezekiel were seated in the background.]

" _Get me a half-fat no-foam latte steamed to a hundred-two heat_!"

[She demanded as she reached the counter, the music screeching to a halt as a pale-skinned arm reached out to hand her her drink. "I'm quite specific," she told the camera before taking the cup and walking back through the shop, the music returning as she went.]

" _She's Blainerific_!"

[Ezekiel sang eagerly as he watched the older woman walk by.]

"Oh so horrific..."

[Alejandro added skeptically, also watching the woman walk out of the 'shop'. A star-wipe out from the center of the screen took the scene back to what looked like the casino concert hall where Blaineley was standing with her microphone in hand.]

" _I'm fa-fa-fam_ -"

[She began to sing before she was interrupted by the confused tones of Sugar.

"Hold on, who is she again?" the pageant queen asked as an aside to Tyler.

"WHAT?!" Blaineley yelled, the music screeching to a halt again as she leaned angrily towards an unimpressed Sugar. "Who am I? _Who_ am _I_?" she asked the pageant queen. " _Who_ are _you_?!"

" _I'm_ the host of the 'Puppy Bachelorette'," she explained, a smooth and patient elevator music type of tune playing as the scene wiped from the concert hall to some sort of fancy room set with various books and vases on a bookcase against the rear wall. More importantly, an adorable corgi puppy with a light blue bow on its forehead sat happily atop a small Greek-styled column in the foreground next to where Blaineley was standing.

" _I_ was nominated for a _Gemmie Award_!" Blaineley added, walking away from the puppy-centric scene, causally taking out a golden award and tossing it over her shoulder as she walked onto what looked like the interview set from her previous hosting job. "I interviewed _you_ for ' _Celebrity Manhunt_ '!' she sharply told Sugar, who was now seated in the interview chair and rolling her eyes.

Blaineley snapped her fingers, and a star-wipe transitioned the scene to her standing at a chemist's workbench, orange safety goggles on her head and glassware in her hands. The trendy electronic music started up again as the song resumed.]

" _It's a fact and scientific, that I'm still Blainerific_!"

[She sang as she emptied the contents of a test tube into an Erlenmeyer flask containing some grayish liquid; the two chemicals immediately reacted by bubbling ominously then exploding in a cloud of yellow-green gas. The cloud quickly cleared, however, to show Dawn and Sammy back-to-back spraying the area with fire extinguishers.]

" _She's not so famous, I guess she's not so famous_!"

[They sung to each other, smiling broadly as the song ended.]

~/~

Blaineley scowled for a moment, then huffed and rolled her eyes. "Ufff, whatevers! So which one of these loser teams am I on anyway?" she asked, the camera pulling back from the stage to show the host and other contestants still standing below.

"You're on your own," Chris replied. "Because as of right now, there are no more teams!"

A drumroll led up to an angelic chorus and Tyler and Ezekiel sharing an excited cry of "Yeah!" and high-fiving.

"Ladies, it's been an _honor_ ," Alejandro told his former teammates, shaking their hands. "Though I do hope the bonds we've forged can continue on in some fashion."

Sammy and Dawn shared an uncomfortable look. "We'll...get back to you on that," Sammy said.

"You probably shouldn't get your hopes up though," Dawn added bluntly, causing Alejandro to frown and walk away.

A sudden shoving sound got Sammy and Dawn's attention, the girls gasping as they saw what was being pushed out on-stage – a giant slot machine bearing the faces of Tyler, Alejandro, and Ezekiel on its reels. It was being pushed by Chef, who was wearing his usual glittery pink evening gown.

"Since we _are_ in the honeymoon capital of the world," Chris explained as the camera pulled back, showing the full cast and emphasizing just how big the slot machines was compared to Blaineley who was still on stage, " _I_ thought it'd be cool to drop some _arranged marriages_ on you!" he said, rubbing his hands together and laughing with glee.

Ella and Alejandro were briefly shown glancing each other's way before determinedly huffing and looking aside.

"Check it!" Chris continued, the shot cutting back to the machine as Chef walked over to its lever. " _Slots_ o' fun for me, _not_ so fun for you." Chef grinned at the camera, then pulled the lever and causing the reels to spin – surprisingly, Dawn and even a bear were represented on them. "Each girl pulls the lever to win a husband who she'll team up with for today's challenge," the host explained as his assistant motioned to the reels, the camera zooming in as one-by-one they landed on Alejandro and the lights around the display started dinging and flashing.

Sammy immediately raised a hand. "Umm, there's only _three_ guys, but _five_ girls, so..."

"Glad you brought that up, Samey," Chris grinned. "The genders _are_ uneven. But since two of the girls _are_ dating each other," Sammy and Dawn were shown again watching blankly, "we figured it would be okay to stick one of 'em in there with the husbands. And Dawn, it's _your_ lucky day!" Chris grinned again, pointing at the moonchild who looked slightly taken aback.

"Oh...," she said plainly.

/

The footage skipped ahead to a close-up of a trapdoor on top of the giant slot machine as Chef tried to force the lid down on Alejandro, Tyler, Ezekiel, and Dawn who were stuck in there together and quite vocal about their discomfort. Chef managed to stuff them down soon enough, only to let the door swing open again. The camera pulled back as he motioned to something above him; moments later, a brown bear was lowered from the ceiling in a cage.

"Umm...what's with the _bear_?" Sammy asked nervously, all four sidelined girls surprised and shocked at the roaring bruin.

"Casinos are _all_ about excitement," Chris explained. "And what's more exciting than a big, angry bear?" he added, walking over to the machine and motioning upwards as Chef guided the cage above the trapdoor, then gave a thumbs-up. That turned out to be a signal to cause the bottom of the cage to drop out, dropping the bear into the slot machine with the other contestants. Roars and screams and sounds of violence ensued as the trapdoor swung close again, and Dawn could be heard saying "Please, _none_ of us want this!" to it.

"Trust me," Chris told the future 'wives' with a smile, "you don't wanna land on that guy. Let the games begin!" he announced with a faint drumroll, the shot cutting to the end of the line where the pageant queen stood. "Sugar, you're up," Chris said, earning a dark grin from the young woman.

"Well then," she said, cracking her knuckles as she stepped forward to the arm of the machine, "time to win me a _hubby_!" She spit on her hands, rubbed them together, and pulled.

The reels started spinning, and with plenty of dings one by one they landed on...Dawn.

"Shoot," Sugar grumbled, snapping her fingers in annoyance, "I got a _girl_. This ain't gonna do at all!" She walked forward to the open chute at the bottom of the machine, and slammed its door shut just as Dawn could be seen and heard sliding down.

Naturally, the moonchild slammed right into the tightly-closed door with a metallic clang. "Ow! Who would do such a thing?" Dawn asked from within the machine.

"Sugar!" Chris announced happily. "You've won-"

"I _demand_ another go!" Sugar told him, walking over with her hands on her hips. "Gettin' hitched to another girl might be nice fer _some_ people, but I ain't one of 'em."

"Oh, that's fine," Sammy said quickly, the shot cutting to show her already at the reopened shoot with a dazed Dawn in her arms. "I'll just take her, if that's okay with everyone. I mean, she's _my_ girlfriend after all, so it would just be awkward to pair her up with anyone else. This way, everyone wins right?" She spoke quickly, already leading Dawn away before the others could respond.

"Fine with me," Sugar shrugged as Chris just stared blankly.

"Same here!" Ella chimed in, leaving Blaineley to shrug as Sammy and Dawn walked by happily.

xxx

"So, it looks like the girly _power couple_ might be the ones to beat," Blaineley told the restroom camera with a thoughtful look that quickly morphed into a confident smile. "You know, I've barely been here five minutes but I already have a great handle on this whole 'strategy' business."

xxx

Sugar had just spat on her hands and was preparing to pull the arm again when Chef suddenly grabbed her from behind.

"Whoa whoa there, Sugar," Chris told her sternly, "back of the line for you." Chef was shown dragging the unwilling pageant star back across the stage past Blaineley and Ella. "Blaineley, you're next."

The oldest woman stepped forward, noticed the slight path of Sugar's spit still on the knob of the arm, and made a noise of disgust. She pulled out a handkerchief, laid it on the knob, then pulled.

With plenty of dings, the reels spun and landed one by one on...Ezekiel.

"Whoa-oa!" the homeschooler hollered as he tumbled out of the chute and landed on his chin.

Blaineley sighed in annoyance as she walked over. "Well, at least it's not the _bear_ ," she said. "Plus it's not like he's as un _likeable_ as he was in season one," she added, "so marrying him shouldn't hurt my image _too_ much."

"Wow, thanks eh," Ezekiel grumbled, picking himself up off the floor. "And after I was so enthusiastic aboot yer song, too."

"Songs are sweet and all," Blaineley replied simply, "but nothing's as important on TV as your likability index. I've studied everyone's," she explained before giving her new 'husband' a quick look over. "Now, what's going on with your _face_?"

"Err, I washed it this morning, eh," Ezekiel said, rubbing his cheek in confusion. "Did I get another zit or something?"

Blaineley pinched his cheek then tsked. "We need some make-up on those cheeks," she told him. "Contour them correctly, and you lose five pounds." Ezekiel raised an eyebrow and rubbed his cheek in even deeper confusion. "Make-up! Pronto!" Blaineley clapped with a happy smile that quickly faded when she realized her command had had no effect. "Stat? 911?" she amended, looking around in rising dread.

xxx

"What kind of TV show doesn't have a make-up department?" she asked the restroom camera in an irritable tone. "This cast needs to get some _gumption_. And some agents," she finished as a sly aside.

xxx

"Okay, I know I must've been saved for a reason," Ella said with her hands clasped and her eyes turned upward as she walked forward to take her turn, "so _please_ let me get Tyler. Or at the very least _not_ Alejandro." She finished her prayer on a bittersweet note, then pulled the lever.

The reels spun and dinged and landed one by one on...the bear.

"Oh...well, at least it wasn't Alejandro," Ella said, wincing at the sound of the bear sliding down the chute.

It landed on its rear, took one look at Ella, and roared. "Nice Mr. Bear," Ella said, feigning cuteness as she backed away. The bear was having none of it, however, and quickly started chasing her as a hectic tune began to play.

"Has Ella _finally_ found the man of her dreams?" Chris asked the camera as it cut to show him standing at the far end of the slot machine, the bear still chasing a screaming Ella around the room. "Will she get mauled at the falls? Find out, after this!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode faded back in to a shot of a slightly ragged Ella standing next to Sugar, who could barely maintain her joy. The bear swiped at the princess from just off-screen, causing her to squeal and duck behind the larger girl, and the camera zoomed out to show that the bear had been chained and collared and was now in Chef's hands.

"Looks like Ella's broken up with yet _another_ boy!" Chris laughed. "Ella, now that you're on the _rebound_ , let's pull the lever again for lucky husband number _two_!"

Ella approached the machine while Chris was talking, and with a nervous look she pulled its arm again. Its reels span, its lights flashed and dinged, and one by one the reels stopped on...Tyler.

"Yes!" she said, pumping a fist. "I'm _not_ stuck with Alejandro!"

Tyler slid out of the chute moments later, took one look at Ella, and pumped his fist as well. " _Awesome_! This is like the best day ever!" He quickly leapt to his feet, then dashed over and hugged Ella closely. "I promise you I'll be the best husband _ever_!"

"Th-thank you, I'll do my best as well," Ella replied with a blush.

The camera panned away from them as Sugar sighed theatrically. "Well, I guess that leaves me and Al then, huh?" she said as she walked over with her arms crossed and a frown on her face. "At least he's pretty."

Alejandro was shown poking his head up out of the slot machine's trapdoor, groaning, and sinking back down into the machine.

/

The footage skipped ahead to a shot of four wedding dresses lined up on stands at one end of a lavender carpet. The one closest to the camera was the largest and more of a halter top and wide pleated skirt combo; the second dress was strapless, sleeveless, and its sides curved out into a long tail; the third also had a long tail, but the sides were straighter and the top had straps and a v-shaped neckline; the furthest back was the second biggest, with short poofy sleeves and an almost royal design.

"Because a good marriage is based on trust," Chris said as the camera began to rapidly pan leftwards across an obstacle course including sand boxes, machines with long nozzles, large wedding cakes, and turtle-shaped kiddy pools filled with either water or something brown, "and the ability to argue louder than your spouse," the host continued as the shot reached him and the four 'wives' who were now standing blindfolded at the base of some Greek columns – Sugar, then Blaineley, then Sammy, then Ella – with their matching 'husbands' standing on top under heart-shaped brass sculptures, "each groom will use a megaphone to guide his or her blindfolded bride safely to her gown." The camera focused on Ella as she smiled and clapped eagerly.

"Only couples with a dress can continue," he added. " _Go_!"

"Okay Tyler, where should I go?" Ella asked enthusiastically, already taking her first few tentative steps out into the course.

"Right, just keep heading in that direction," Tyler told her confidently, "but make sure to go _around_ the thingy."

"The... _thingy_?" Ella repeated uncertainly, her arms outstretched as she tried to feel her way forward. The camera quickly and briefly panned down to the turtle pool full of water a few inches in front of her.

"Yeah, the one right in front of you," Tyler nodded, right before his 'wife' tripped on the pool and fell in face-first. Tyler winced, then said "Sorry! That's what you were supposed to go around."

Ella spat out a mouthful of water, then told him "It's okay, just try to maybe be a little _clearer_ next time." Tyler hung his head in embarrassment.

xxx

"Man, I can't believe I already blew it," the jock confessed. "I gotta work on my leading skills so this doesn't happen again or I'm just gonna get dumped like with my last few girlfriends."

xxx

"Okay, another five paces forward then turn _just_ a bit to your left," Dawn called out to her girlfriend.

"Like this?" Sammy replied as she moved forward, sidestepping one of the machines with the long nozzles.

"Yes!" Dawn said happily. "Seven more paces, then turn just a bit _more_ back to the right!"

"Okay!" Sammy replied, continuing on along the course for a little while longer before the dresses turned up at the right side of the screen.

"Stop!" Dawn commanded quickly, her girlfriend complying without hesitation. "Now hard turn to your left and you're there!"

Sammy did as she was told, and managed to reach out and grab onto the v-necked dress. "Oh em gee, we did it Dawn!" she said, taking off her blindfold in excitement and hugging the dress.

/

"Okay Sugar," Alejandro called out as the scene cut to him giving directions with a tense look on his face, "head _right_!"

"Yeah, I heard ya!" Sugar replied gruffly, currently walking through the sand boxes. She veered to her left, however, and promptly tripped and fell into the sand with a startled yelp. "Hey, what's the deal?!" she cried out in outrage.

"That's why I told you to go _right_ , not _left_!" Alejandro answered from off-screen, earning an annoyed huff from his fallen 'wife'.

/

"You're doing great," Tyler called out to his 'wife'. "Just, uh, stand still for a second so I can work this out, okay?"

"Okay, if you say so," Ella replied hesitantly, freezing in her tracks in front of one of the machines nonetheless.

"Got it," the jock said a second later, causing the princes to perk up and the camera to cut to him. "Just, uhh, turn a little bit in _that_ direction," he pointed off to his right, "circle around for a little bit, then go straight again."

He grinned cheesily, and the camera cut back to Ella. "...sorry, _which_ direction?" she asked in confusion.

"Hah, looks like _somebody_ needs a new husband," Blaineley taunted as she walked by. "Okay Zeke, lay it on me!"

"Err...sorry, but I don't really get what you mean, eh," Ezekiel replied.

"I _mean_ give me the next direction!" Blaineley replied irritably right before she plowed headfirst into a wedding cake.

"Sorry!" Ezekiel called out to her as she flailed her legs around. "But you coulda just waited, y'know."

" _Nooo_!" Blaineley cried in anguish as she finally extracted herself.

"Err, _yeeeesss_?" Ezekiel countered, scratching his head in confusion. "Or wait, do you mean the cake? I don't really-"

"Of _course_ I mean the cake!" Blaineley snapped. "I just gained five pounds by _touching_ this thing!"

"Really?" Ezekiel replied, still confused. "Well, you can just wipe it off, can't you? Hate to waste it though, it looks pretty good."

Blaineley silently flung some cake from her forehead, but on a whim decided to taste the little bit that was left on her finger. As she did so a joyous melody rose up in the background, and she moaned in delight. "Oh sugar, it's been _years_! Where have you been?" she whispered to herself. "It's like...mmm...vanilla-flavored paradise!" she reverently exclaimed after another taste. "With a _hint_ of lemon."

xxx

The confessional consisted of nothing more than Blaineley shoveling wedding cake into her mouth off a plate.

xxx

"Okay, Blaineley's good lookin' and all," Ezekiel admitted in the next confessional, "but I gotta say, she's more confusing than _anybody_ , eh."

xxx

"Sugar, would you turn _around_ already?" Alejandro pleaded with his 'wife', who was now heading backwards through the obstacle.

"Hold on, I just wanna get some of that _cake_!" Sugar replied. "It's been _years_ since I went to a weddin'!"

Alejandro groaned and palmed his face. "We're in the middle of a _challenge_ , you can have your cake later! Or don't you _care_ about continuing on to the next part?"

Sugar stopped in her tracks, scowled, then huffed. "Ugh, _fine_ , have it your way." She spun around on her heel, then determinedly walked back the way she came. "But you _better_ get me some cake after this is over!"

The charmer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before looking back at the obstacle course. "Yes, fine, just...keep going forward ten more paces, then right two more and you'll be there."

The camera cut straight ahead to Sugar bumping into her dress, then smiling and removing her blindfold. "Well whaddaya know, I'm here!" she said excitedly. "Maybe you _are_ a good husband after all, Al!" she said with a cheeky grin back at the charmer, who slumped and groaned.

xxx

"I was just messin' with him with the cake thing," Sugar told the confessional camera, leaning forward conspiratorially and putting a hand to her mouth as if sharing a great big secret, "though we wouldn't've come first either way." She leaned back, then chuckled to herself. "I figure the longer he thinks I'm stupid, the easier it'll be to sucker him into votin' how I want."

xxx

The footage cut back to Blaineley, Sugar, and Ella all happily lined up in front of Chris with their dresses. "Time to move on to the next challenge," the host announced as the camera cut to Ella still trying to navigate the course. "Too bad Ella, but-"

"Ella, hurry!" Tyler called out to his 'wife'. "You'll get there if you just go straight!"

"On it!" Ella nodded to herself before letting loose a sort of wordless battlesong as she charged forward. She tromped through pools and nicked the edge of the second cake with her outstretched arms, but was soon able to tackle her dress. "Got it!" she declared happily, rolling into a sitting position and holding up her dress.

"Uhh, okay, nevermind then," Chris told her. "Looks like everyone's moving on to the next part."

xxx

"I _really_ wanted to see what it's like to be a bride," Ella explained bashfully, flicking a bit of cake off her clothes.

xxx

A dramatic tune played as the scene cut to a shot of the edge of the Falls. "I like to call this next challenge," Chris explained as the camera zoomed out to reveal a pair of wooden platforms and bridges built across the waterfall, linked to each other by nothing but a tightrope; on the right were Chris, the four couples, and a Canadian flag, while on the left was a small shack and an American flag; "'Till _Death_ do you Part'!"

The shot cut in to a close-up of the cast, showing all four 'wives' in their dresses with Sammy and Dawn closest to the tightrope, then Alejandro and Sugar, Blaineley and Ezekiel, and Tyler and Ella in back with Chris.

"Okay, so there's no make-up people," Blaineley said with a nervous look downward at the roaring pool of water below, "but you _have_ to have stunt doubles sometimes, right?" she asked Sugar and Ezekiel.

The former only raised an eyebrow, but Ezekiel at least shrugged and admitted "Nope, not that I can think of eh."

"So wait," Tyler asked Chris, "did I _seriously_ save our butts from Niagara Falls only for you to make us walk across 'em on a tightrope? _Weak_."

"Even better," the host told him. "Each groom has to carry his or her bride across the gorge," he explained. "And then, you've gotta successfully clear Customs!" he added as the shot cut to Chef in the shack on the far side of the rope, dressed in a blue security guard's uniform. "First pair to do so wins invincibility, _and_ a pimped out wedding reception in first class. Samey and Dawn won the challenge, so," the shot cut to the two girls, "I'm giving them a head start."

"Oh, uh, are you gonna be okay carrying me, honey?" Sammy asked her shorter girlfriend, blushing and giggling at 'honey'.

Dawn blushed as well. "Well, I'll just have to do my best," she answered.

"I nearly forgot!" Chris interjected as a faint dramatic tune began to build. "Because the falls weren't quite unpleasant enough, "we stocked 'em with hungry, hungry, _sharks_ ," he revealed as the music peaked.

The shot cut down to a small fishing boat sailing at the bottom of the falls. It was crewed by three sharks – one at the bow with a bib and a smaller fish on a harpoon gun, one on top of the cabin with a chef's hat and frying pan, and the third at the stern with a black bow tie and a large fish scoop skimming the water.

Sammy gulped nervously and shared a look with Dawn as the other campers just looked generally panicked.

"I hope my best is will be good enough...," Dawn said with a look of dread.

The close-up panned over to Alejandro as he narrowed his eyes and leaned to the side to whisper at Sugar. "Listen, I know you have some _fondness_ for Sammy, but I think we need to vote her out. The others like her too much, and since she already has Dawn by her side it won't take many more to control the vote."

"Yeah? So what's in it fer me if I take _your_ side over hers?" Sugar replied under her breath.

"I'll make up for not noticing the dire situation you were forced into earlier this season by voting however you like from here on out," Alejandro replied. He noticed the skeptical look she was giving him, then added "I'm not lying, I need an ally right now and the only person I can count on is _you_!"

xxx

"As much as it pains me to admit it," Alejandro confessed, "I was being honest with Sugar...up to a _point_ , of course. A simpleton like _her_ is exactly what I need to get further in the game right now."

xxx

"I'll think about it," Sugar hissed to her 'husband' before turning her attention back to the tightrope where Dawn had knelt down to carry her girlfriend piggyback style.

"Here goes nothing," she said as she edged out onto the rope. "Oh, I hope the Earth Mother is smiling on us right now."

"Me too," Sammy added. "Those sharks sure are." She pointed down to the fishing boat, which blew its horn as it passed by, the three sharks waving up at the 'newlyweds'.

xxx

"Okay, when I get married for _real_ ," Sammy confessed, "I really hope there aren't any _sharks_ involved."

xxx

"And remember," Chris told the couple as they started their walk, "violence is _never_ the answer. Except on this show," he corrected as the camera cut in for a close-up. " _Go_!"

At his excited exclamation, Alejandro stepped forward onto the rope with Sugar in his arms bridal style. He seemed to be straining slightly under her weight, and groaned in discomfort. "Are you _sure_ this is how you'd like to be carried?" he asked his 'wife'.

"Well what do you want me to do, climb onto yer back while we're crossin' a tiny rope a thousand feet in the air?" Sugar replied. "Because if you ask me that sounds like surefire way fer us to _lose_."

Alejandro sighed and continued to walk along the tightrope. "Yes, I suppose it is."

xxx

"Luckily for us, I possess an _impeccable_ sense of balance," the charmer confessed. "And as strange as it is to say it, I could use some alone time with Sugar." He ended his confessional with a blank look and a shudder.

xxx

The footage skipped ahead to show Alejandro and Sugar a fair way across the rope. "So, have you given my offer any more thought?" the charmer asked as the camera zoomed in closer to the pair.

"Yeah," Sugar grunted in annoyance. "And I'm gonna level with ya: I've never really liked Ella, so I'd rather get _her_ gone before anyone else."

"Well after what's happened I'd like her gone as well," Alejandro replied, "but she's in too good of a position, we'd never get the votes."

"Don't I know it," the pageant queen grumbled. "I guess Sammy's a good choice too, but I'm not sure how to get enough votes fer _her_ either."

"We can ask Blaineley, for one," Alejandro said. "She'll no doubt be looking for an ally of her own since she's only just joined the game. As for the fourth...Ezekiel, perhaps? You _are_ close with him, correct? And if he bonds with Blaineley during the challenge, perhaps he'll be willing to join us for the vote."

"Hmm," Sugar murmured thoughtfully before shrugging and grinning. "I guess that could work! We just gotta make sure the girls don't get invincibility though."

"Simple enough," Alejandro replied. "We just have to win it ourselves."

/

The scene flashed to Ezekiel and Blaineley, who had also started their precarious walk. Ezekiel had also opted to carry his 'wife' bridal style, and like Alejandro he was struggling.

"Do I have to get spurs or _what_?" Blaineley complained as Ezekiel inched along. "Hurry, they're getting away!"

"I'm doing my best, eh!" Ezekiel countered. "It's not _my_ fault you wanted to be carried like this. An' besides, if I go much faster we might fall off."

"Well excuse _me_ for wanting to do this _right_ ," Blaineley snipped. "What's the point of our fake marriage if we don't act like it's real? It's just bad TV."

"I'd rather have bad TV then get eaten by sharks, eh," Ezekiel told her. "Y'know, if you keep actin' like this, yer gonna get voted out pretty soon, eh."

"As if," Blaienely scoffed before turning a smile towards her 'husband'. "Although I _was_ meaning to talk to you about the vote. I think we should get rid of Sammy or Dawn next, loyal couples _always_ dominate reality competitions if left in the game too long."

"Err, I guess," Ezekiel said uncertainly. "But I figured we'd vote fer Alejandro next, on account of him bein' a total slimeball, eh."

"And get rid of the hottest guy out here?" Blaineley replied in disbelief. "No way, he can wait for later. The _lovebirds_ are where it's at."

"Hrmm," Ezekiel said neutrally.

/

Ella sighed wistfully as the scene cut to her being carried in Tyler's arms, the pair also making their way across the tightrope.

"What's wrong?" Tyler asked in concern.

"I don't know," Ella said with a sad look. "Despite the incredible danger we're in, this whole challenge _has_ been quite romantic. It's just," she sighed again, "as much as I've tried, it seems like I just can't get over what Alejandro did to me."

"Oh...," Tyler frowned.

xxx

"How could I be so _stupid_!" Tyler berated himself in the restroom confessional, smacking himself in the face. "Here I am acting all happy because Ella finally dumped Al, and I never even stopped to think how _she_ feels! Uggh, no _wonder_ things aren't going so well right now..."

xxx

"Well...maybe you'll feel better once Alejandro gets voted out," Tyler told her. "And so long as he doesn't win immunity, that's gotta happen, right? I mean, everyone hates him for what he did to you."

"You really think that?" Ella asked hopefully.

"Totally!" Tyler grinned. "We just gotta make sure he doesn't win and Alejandro will be gone for good!"

"Yes, I think I like that plan," Ella said with a smile.

/

A few light notes heralded a tenser tune as Dawn and Sammy finally reached the guard station at the other end of the tightrope.

"Business or pleasure?" Chef asked the girls.

"Uhh, pleasure, I guess?" Sammy answered.

"We _are_ supposed to be on our honeymoon," Dawn said.

"'Kay then, a few questions first," Chef continued, adjusting his glasses as he held up a notecard. "What is Canada's capital?"

"Ottawa," Sammy answered quickly.

"What _leaf_ is on Canada's flag?" Chef asked next.

"Easy, it's a _beautiful_ maple leaf," Dawn answered.

Chef nodded, then looked back at his card. "What is the type and name of the ship on the Canadian dime?"

"Uhh, I know it's the _Bluenose_ , but I can't remember what kind of ship it is," Sammy told Dawn.

"I'm afraid I don't know either," Dawn admitted, "I've always preferred nickels."

"Hmmph," Chef snorted. "Failure to answer a question correctly means you're deported. Go back," he told them, pointing back across the tightrope as a couple dramatic notes played.

The two girls looked down sadly, then turned and stepped back onto the rope. The camera zoomed in on Dawn's feet as she inched along for a few seconds, then stopped when Alejandro's boots stepped into view.

"Excuse us, please," Alejandro said as the camera zoomed back out, "we'd like to get past."

"So would we," Dawn told him.

"Yeah, Chef told us to go back," Sammy added.

"How tragic," Alejandro said dryly. "Unfortunately, I'm _not_ going to back up all the way to the beginning just so you two can try again."

"Sorry, girls," Sugar chimed in. "I wish I could help ya, but I ain't the one doin' the carryin'. Maybe you two should just go back to the other platform so me an' Al can get outta yer way."

"Hey hey, what's with the traffic jam?" Blaineley complained suddenly, the camera zooming out even more to reveal that she and Ezekiel had come up behind Alejandro and Sugar. "This is a _tightrope_ , not a highway!"

"My apologies," Alejandro told them, "but Dawn and Sammy failed to pass Customs and are now trying to force their way back across."

"Umm, maybe we _should_ just back up and let them through," Sammy nervously told her girlfriend.

"Agreed," Dawn said, slowly trying to back up.

"Urggh just move it already!" Blaineley snapped impatiently. "Ezekiel, just get this over with and _ram them_."

"Err, what?" Ezekiel asked in shock.

"You heard me, I said ram them!" Blaineley repeated. "Do I seriously have to do everything myself?" She reached out and grabbed Sugar's leg, trying to throw her and Alejandro off the rope.

A sharp and tense tune began to play as Sugar tried to free herself, the rope wobbling as both Ezekiel and Alejandro struggled to keep their balance. With a panicked "Whoa!" Sugar grabbed hold of Sammy's arm in an attempt to steady herself, but with Blaineley still holding onto the pageant queen's leg it just meant that when Alejandro finally lost his balance and fell, the other teams were taken with them screaming all the way down.

Seconds later the music leveled off and Tyler and Ella walked into view looking rather cautious. "Well, I guess that was kinda lucky for us, huh?" the jock said as he continued to walk across the rope.

"I suppose," the princess-bride answered, looking down with worry, "but I _do_ hope they're alright down there."

/

The scene flashed ahead to a montage of close-up shots of the couple answering Chef's questions.

"Ottawa," Tyler answered.

"The maple leaf," Ella said next.

"I'm pretty sure the _Bluenose_ was a schooner," Tyler said.

"Ooh, butter tarts!" Ella answered happily.

"Beavers," the two answered together, earning a surprised look from Chef.

"Wow," he said, "you got 'em all right. Anything to declare?"

"Yeah, I declare that making us walk single file along a tightrope over a waterfall is a totally _bogus_ way to enter the country," Tyler said. "And also that Ella looks _really_ good as a bride."

"Thank you, Tyler," Ella said with a blush. "I'll declare that aside from his vague directions, Tyler has been the perfect vision of what I think a husband should be. I'm very happy I was partnered with him for this."

"'Kay," Chef said simply, motioning for them to proceed.

Tyler walked forward onto the platform and let Ella down, and the two shared a hug as Chris walked up clapping. "Congrats, you guys!" he said as triumph music began to play. "You'll be traveling together in first class, _and_ , you've both won invincibility. Which means nobody can vote for _either_ of you two lovebirds tonight."

"Awesome," Tyler grinned.

"Yes," Ella added with a bashful blush, "although we're not _quite_ -"

An anguished cry of "Help us!" from Sammy cut the singer off, and a follow-up cry of "Swim for your lives!" from Alejandro took the attention of the host, winning pair, and cameras to the bottom of the waterfall. The six teens who had been knocked off were now swimming in one terrified pack from the fishing boat manned by the trio of sharks, but a sharply rising tense note as they moved off-screen signaled the transition to the next scene.

/

The plane was back in flight once more, and the shot quickly cut away again to the common area where Sugar was meeting with Ezekiel.

"All I'm sayin' is that we can vote out Al any ol' time," the pageant queen told the homeschooler. "I mean, so long as he doesn't win invincibility. But with Sammy, she might be able to get Ella on her side after what went down the other day. And if Ella's on her side, then I'm afraid Tyler might not wanna vote with us no more! We gotta get Sammy out while the gettin's good!"

Ezekiel sighed and hung his head. "Yeah, I think I got it, eh. Blaineley was saying the same thing during the challenge. I guess it really is the best way fer us to get to the end."

"Exactly!" Sugar grinned, slapping him on the shoulder from across the table. "Now you go on an' make sure not to tell Tyler or Ella about it, I still got some stuff I gotta do. _Feminine_ stuff."

Ezekiel's eyebrow's shot up in wary surprise. "Right, eh," he said before scampering off.

Sugar let out her breath, and a tense tune played as the camera rotated around to the pageant queen's front, revealing Blaineley leaning against a wall with a smug smile on her face.

"Nice dealing there, Sugar," she said, causing the girl in question to turn around and face her with an annoyed look on her face. "But I guess that's to be expected from the season's number one at deception."

"What're you talkin' about? I ain't decepted nobody!" Sugar asked through narrowed eyes as she stood up.

"Oh, don't lie to me Sugar, I've watched every episode of this two-bit season!" Blaineley replied with an eyeroll. "I know how your alliances with Scott and Scarlett _really_ went down, and I _also_ know that you're the one who found Dawn's letter way back when. If you don't do what I tell you to, I'll-"

Blaineley smug attempt at extortion was cut off when her intended victim grabbed her by the top of her dress, pulled her in and spun her around then slammed her down on the table, one hand on Blaineley's head and the other pinning her right arm behind her back.

"Now you listen here, missy," Sugar hissed. "If you go on yappin' that big mouth of yers an' ruin my shot at the million, I'm gonna mess up way more than just yer _career_ , got it?"

"Hey, no need to be hasty!" Blaineley answered nervously. "I wasn't going to _say_ anything, I'm on your side! I wanna help you get rid of Sammy and Ella! Trust me, I won't say _anything_ about what you've done."

Sugar frowned in thought, then let her back up. "Fine," she said gruffly, "but if you try any funny business then you're gonna be done like a dog's droppin's, got it?"

"Got it," Blaineley repeated with a nod. "With that out of the way, I guess I'll see you at the vote later!" the older woman said with a hint of nervousness, culminating in a wave of "Bye!" before quickly running off.

Sugar huffed, then shook her head.

/

The footage skipped ahead to her walking through the hall containing the restroom confessional, and putting on a smile when she saw Sammy and Dawn coming from the opposite direction. "Just who I wanted to see," she told them, quickly grabbing them by the arm and retreating into a corner. "Listen Sammy, you are in _danger_ ," she warned the cheerleader. "I overheard Zeke and Blaineley a few minutes ago talkin' about how they were gonna vote you out tonight!"

Sammy gasped, while Dawn was a silent mix of skepticism and concern. "Yeah, that's why we gotta vote him out first," Sugar explained.

"But Alejandro-" Sammy tried to protest before Sugar interrupted.

"We can vote him out some other time," she said with a dismissive wave. "I mean, it's not like anybody _likes_ him. But Zeke's got friends, heck even _I_ liked him before I heard who he wanted to vote for! We gotta vote him out now before it's too late!"

"I don't know," Sammy said, exchanging an uncertain look with her girlfriend.

"Then just do it as a favor to me, okay?" Sugar pleaded with a hint of sadness in her voice. "I _did_ get that letter to ya, didn't I?"

Sammy's face fell into something softer. "Yeah," she said, "you did." She took a breath, then added "If you really want us to, then we'll vote for Ezekiel."

"Thank you!" Sugar said, seemingly near tears as she suddenly hugged the other two blondes. Sammy smiled and patted her on the back, but Dawn looked considerably more suspicious. The camera quickly moved away, however, and back to Sugar as she repeated her half-sobbing "Thank you!"

xxx

"Man, all this strategery is hard work!" Sugar admitted, wiping away her fake tears in the confessional. "But it sure was worth it knowin' what's gonna happen at the ceremony tonight!" she finished with a chuckle as a few ominous chanted notes played.

xxx

"Tyler and Ella have immunity," Chris said as the scene moved to the elimination ceremony, the eight contestants already seated. "Everyone else, is fair game. What's it gonna be?" he said teasingly as the music became tense.

The footage flashed ahead, and the camera panned across the contestants as Chris started talking again – Alejandro in the top right separated from everyone else; Blaineley a ways to the left; Ezekiel, Sugar, Tyler, and Ella sitting in a cluster; and Sammy and Dawn sitting in the front row hand-in-hand.

"Interesting," Chris murmured. " _Really_! Huh, who'da thought. _Wwwow_ , haha." The camera finally reached him, revealing that he was looking over the night's passport votes.

"Would you just hurry up an' read them already?" Sugar said impatiently.

"Okay, hold on to your _blouse_ ," he said, causing the pageant queen to huff. "One vote for _Ezekiel_ ," he read, the camera panning to the homeschooler's shocked face.

"What? Why me, eh?" he asked.

"Three votes for _Alejandro_ ," the host continued, holding up a trio of fingers.

"Meh," the charmer shrugged, "I saw it coming."

"And _four_ votes...for...," Chris said slowly, the tension in the background music reaching it's peak. Sammy was shown biting her lip nervously, Ella and Tyler were looking concerned, Blaineley was smiling confidently, and Sugar was crossing her fingers. " _Samey_!"

"What?" Sammy said, standing up in shock. "Wh-why _me_?" She looked around at the others, and Sugar in particular was shown shrugging impishly.

"Samey, the gang has spoken," Chris said, tossing a parachute pack to the cheerleader as the usual sombre theme took over the music.

"I guess so," she said, still in shock as she started walking forward.

Dawn grabbed her hand to stop her, then pulled her back for a kiss and a hug. "I'm sorry for letting this happen," she said.

"Don't be," Sammy replied, breaking the hug. "I probably brought this on myself. And...I guess this is goodbye, for now. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Dawn said, hugging her again.

"We _all_ will," Ella chimed in.

"Yeah!" Tyler added enthusiastically.

"Yeah...," Ezekiel also added, looking down and rubbing his arm anxiously.

"Sorry girl," Blaineley chimed in, "I wish I could've gotten to know you better."

"Yeah, okay, enough with the goodbyes," Chris interrupted. "Are you gonna jump, or is Chef gonna have to throw _Samey_ off the _planey_?"

Sammy glared angrily at the host, then started walking straight towards him. "Okay, I've been ignoring it for awhile now, but not anymore. For the last time, my name is _Sammy_ you-" Her final words were censored, and her final act towards Chris McLean was to smack him upside the head with the parachute pack he'd given her and knock him on the floor. The others laughed as she huffed in satisfaction and walked over to the open door, turned back to give one last wave, and with a happy "Bye everyone!" she jumped from the plane.

/

"If you think _that_ was harsh," Chris said irritably as the scene cut to him in the cockpit holding an icepack to the side of his head, the usual capstone theme beginning, "just wait until you see what happens _next time_ , right here on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

Sammy let out a breath of relief as she plummeted. "You know, even though I was eliminated it felt _really_ good to finally tell Chris off,' she told the camera. "Maybe he'll even get the hint and actually use my actual _name_ the next time I have to see him! Probably not, though," she admitted.

"Overall, I think this was a really fun season," she said after deploying her parachute. "I got to travel around the world without Amy, which was nice, and with DJ and Dawn, which was even nicer. Plus, you know, I got a girlfriend," she added with a blush and a sigh. "I hope she does okay. She's super smart, but if the others wanted to vote me out then she might be in trouble."

"Come to think of it," she said, suddenly looking troubled, "I was the only one who voted for Zeke tonight. I guess Dawn must've still voted for Alejandro, but what about Sugar? I don't think Ella and Tyler would've voted for anyone else besides Al after what happened, so that must mean..."

She paused, then gasped sharply. "Oh em gee, Sugar _tricked_ me! She must've gotten me to vote for Ezekiel on _purpose_ so the vote wouldn't be a tie! And she used the letter Dawn wrote to do it, too! That's...that's just _evil_! I can't believe it! That's-" She paused again, and settled into a blank calm. "Oh em gee, that's why Dawn didn't vote for Zeke...she must have gotten, like, a bad _vibe_ or something about Sugar and didn't tell me because of the letter thing."

She looked down in disbelief, then turned a hopeless smile at the camera. "I guess I really _did_ bring this on myself..."

Moments later the camera cut out to a long-distance shot of Niagara Falls as Sammy drifted down over them.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And at long last, Sammy goes home. Like so many have said she's wrapped up her plots, and is pretty much expendable. I gave her a decent departure, though - she got to fake-marry her girlfriend, and even got to whack Chris on the head with a parachute. The letter subplot finally wrapped up as well, with our villainess Sugar using it to convince Sammy to vote for Ezekiel, thus allowing for Sammy herself to go home.

Also included in this was the first part of 'Operation: Make Blaineley Actually Matter to the Plot'; namely, Blaineley actually shows gets involved with the strategy and becomes a crucial vote to ensure Sammy gets eliminated - and to a lesser extent, she helped get Ezekiel on-board with the Sammy vote as well. In canon, she did very little of this - her vote in Niagara Brawls was, I think, for Sierra of all people - we know Alejandro/Heather/Duncan/Sierra voted for Owen' Courtney voted for Heather and Cody for Sierra, leaving Owen and Blaineley. Owen obviously would have voted for Heather as he knows she's bad news, meaning Blaineley had to vote for the superfan. No idea what she was thinking.

I hoped you enjoyed the Shuffled version of 'Blainerific', by the way. It wasn't too different, but I think it fits the cast.

The pairs I picked for the challenge were fairly obvious to me - Sammy and Dawn were a straightforward choice and having them paired was a big factor in why Sammy even made it this far in the game; Blaineley and Ezekiel both paralleled the Blaineley-Owen pair while also providing what I think is a distinctly different comedy; Tyler and Ella needed the chance to develop more than the drama from Ella-Alejandro was; leaving Alejandro and Sugar at the end to strategize and align. I hope you all enjoyed the challenge!

Oh, and one last thing - Staci has finally been sighted on the plane. Since she'd planned on getting off at Canada, though, I had to have her sleeping - and for the record, she ended up sleeping through the entire stop at Niagara Falls. She's not gonna get to leave just yet...

Anyway, let me know what you thought of this week's chapter, and what you're hoping for in the weeks to come! I look forward to it, as always.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (18th Place)

Lightning - (17th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (16th Place)

Geoff - (15th Place)

Scott - (14th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (13th Place)

Sierra - (12th Place)

DJ - (11th Place)

Shawn - (10th Place)

Staci - (9th Place)

Sammy - (8th Place)


	20. Chapter 20 - Chinese Fake-Out

**Author's Note**

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays dear readers! I hope you're all enjoying the time of year. As for myself, well, I don't have any real complaints even though I'm not especially fond of my family. However, I will note that since Christmas Eve is the busier day in my household, and it coincided with a day that I'd normally work on Shuffled, the next chapter isn't nearly as done as I'd like it to be. But fortunately, despite some amount of uncertainty I've been having regarding next week's elimination (and to a lesser extent song), rest assured that it will still be completed in time for its release next Friday.

For those interested, my other story 'Total Drama Rebirth' was updated last Saturday, so check it out if you like competition fics that are a little bit different!

Right now, though, it's on to the reviews.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Oh, sorry to disappoint you then. I do enjoy really Sammy, but she was never meant to last especially long after her main subplot wrapped up - the only reason I kept her around was pretty much to have her and Dawn be a couple in last week's episode.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Yeah, I'm glad I decided to give Sammy her last stand with the name thing. I was worried it would be a little out-of-nowhere, but I think it worked well. And now Tyler and Ella have a bit of chance to talk, which is good for a number of reasons...which you may see more of shortly. And Blaineley...well, I'm pretty happy with what I've been able to do with her.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks! I'm glad people enjoyed how Sammy got the last word against Chris, at least. And yeah, making Blaineley actually aware that she has outsider knowledge of the game before like the last minute was an obvious choice, and it's disappointing that she didn't do that in canon.

 **DSX62415:** Wow, I'm actually kinda surprised to hear that more than one person wanted Sammy to win. Oh well, sorry to have disappointed you. And as for who does or doesn't make it through this week...well, I'm afraid you'll just have to read on.

 **CVluvFoxy:** ...I'm a little miffed that you decided to use that nickname...  
I am happy you're liking pretty much the rest of the cast, though. The dastardly villains teaming up, the newbies getting a little closer, and so on...I hope you enjoy this week's episode.

 **Animation Adventures:** Once again, I'm glad to have made Sammy's elimination ultimately enjoyable for someone. I'm glad I was able to pull off both the exit itself, and the method by which it came about. And...I'll admit, I can see why Sammy going in London instead of Shawn could have been good as well, but ultimately I just couldn't pass up the chance to have Dawn and Sammy get fake-married.  
AND speaking of fake marriages, I can kind of see what you mean about Ella and Ezekiel getting paired up, but ultimately I figured that Zeke would be funnier with Blaineley. And yeah, Tyler's not the smartest, but the Customs questions are implied to all be incredibly basic facts about Canada based on the answers, and I actually struggled a bit to decide which one would send Sammy and Dawn back. But I figured, if nothing else, Tyler might know a bit more about a famous Canadian racing ship than those two, so that's how the Customs bit ended up the way it is.  
INTeresting predictions as always, and I will say that I've been a little bit uncertain as to how these next few weeks will play out lately (and still am to some extent), but regardless of what happens I hope you'll enjoy the end of the season.

 **StarHeart Specials:** Haha, I probably would have done the same. I'm glad I was able to give Sammy such a good parting, and I'm also happy to hear how many people actually liked her. And...I'll admit that I don't exactly share your love of the original All-Stars, but I will do my best to make it an excellent season.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Hmm...yeah, I can kinda see what you mean about last week being a bit of a breather episode - despite Sammy's blindside, it wasn't as sharply dramatic as Greece or Sweden. And yeah, the pairings for the challenge came pretty naturally, as did Ezekiel basically filling in the 'Owen' role from canon. Still, I'm glad it was enjoyable overall.  
AND yeah, believe me, it has definitely been getting harder to decide who I want to eliminate next even with planning ahead so far in advance. Because the thing is, even if you have a general framework that you want to follow at the start you might come up with other ideas that you like more, or that work better with what you've actually written. So you have to be flexible with what you've planned, to an extent at least. But even that won't make some decisions any easier...

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yeah, that was kind of my feeling too - Sammy's had a nice, long run, but ultimately I just didn't want to keep her in the game any longer. And about her wedding...who knows? It's a long way off for her, so there's no real reason to think about it just yet. And on my front...well, I don't know if I'll ever write anything relevant to the problem, to be honest.  
Ezekiel has been a surprisingly good source of humor this season. He's such an odd character to write, but it looks like I've fleshed him out pretty well while also keeping him consistent and funny. Sugar too, I think. And Tyler's terrible directions were too good to pass up, considering his performance in both versions of you're enjoying Blaineley's expanded role so far, and I hope you enjoy what happens this week. Though based on your predictions, it looks like you'd be surprised by just about anybody getting the boot.

 **I. M. Poik:** Is it wrong that I'm kind of annoyed by how enthusiastic you are about Sammy's departure? Hah. Still, I am happy you enjoyed the chapter. And yeah, this week's elimination(s) may be a little tricky to figure out right off the bat, but I think it'll all make sense by the end.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Huh, I honestly didn't think of the parallels to the Heather-Lindsay scene while I was writing Sammy's elimination, but I can see it now. Neat. And I hope you enjoy both Blaineley and Dawn this episode; you're right about the latter not really having time apart from her two loved ones before now.

 **OMAC001:** Glad you're liking the changes I've made to Blaineley's role in the story, subtle though some may be. And I hope you continue to enjoy her this week.

 **bruno14:** Glad to hear it! I hope you keep enjoying things from here on out, too. Ezekiel's kind of crush on Blaineley is something I figured fit him decently well, though I admit we don't know too much about what kind of woman he's attracted to in canon (since the two girls we see him being attracted to, Bridgette and Anne Maria, are pretty different). Fortunately, though, I think Ezekiel got over Blaineley pretty quickly.

 **FOWLKON:** Yeah, that's what I was going for - she's been a fairly trusting person lately, which ended up causing her downfall at long last. In a way I think it ties in with her decision back in London, though I'm not sure how to explain it right now. And Blaineley, of course, is actually mattering! And she'll matter this week, as well...  
As for Staci, yeah, she's gonna be the 'prey' in African Lying Safari. Though you'll have to wait another week to find out how it plays out...

 **PizzaTheBomb:** ...really? The song was barely different from the canon version of 'Blainerific'. Oh well, I'm glad you liked it nonetheless. And more importantly, I'm glad you're loving the fact that Blaineley's actually mattering in terms of plot. You're absolutely right in that Fresh underused her; she was little more than a space-filler in Niagara Brawls and had very little lasting effect in the canon version of this week's episode.  
Also glad that you liked the Sammy/Dawn moments! I wanted to give them a nice, sweet experience to wrap up their time competing together this season, and I'm happy it was appreciated.

 **ljninja:** Yeah, but she had to go, and I'm glad I was able to give her such a great ending. I'm also glad you're enjoying how the drama between Tyler, Ella, and Alejandro is going down. I hope you enjoy this week's chapter!

 **Star Saber21:** Yeah, I'm kind of surprised how far Tyler has come, and I'm the one who's been writing him. I think I've still kept his essence, though, or at least tried to. The same goes for Sammy, and I was glad to give her both a nice challenge with her girlfriend and a great parting gesture before she left the game for good. And yeah, just like in canon, you never want to fight on a tightrope.

 **Knifez:** Surprisingly, you're wrong - while some people were definitely expecting Sammy's elimination, a large number weren't or were at least sad to see her go. The challenge...well, there's not much to do with it. As in canon, it's meant to be more of an introduction for Blaineley with a lot of humor derived from the pairings chosen. Nothing jaw-droppingly dramatic, but I think that's fine.  
As for your predictions and hopes...well, I don't know what I can say right now other than that I hope you'll enjoy these last few chapters, regardless of what happens.

 **Joel Connell:** Thanks! Though I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see how this week's elimination plays out. I will say, however, that at the moment I don't intend on reusing the same 'trapped in the Drama Machine' gag that canon had, regardless of who ends up in the finale. And yeah, I'm getting pretty excited for the next season as well...

 **wifishark:** Glad you're liking Blaineley's expanded role in this. And yeah, Dawn was the first post-merge boot two seasons in a row, but that trend was never meant to last forever.

And that's it for this...year, technically, as far as review-answering goes. As per usual, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next.

With the merge having occurred, our cast this week is as follows:

Boys \- Alejandro, Ezekiel, Tyler

Girls \- Blaineley, Dawn, Ella, Sugar

I hope you're ready, folks, because this Christmas the Shuffledverse is headed to China. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 20 – Chinese Fake-Out**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris opened over a shot of Niagara Falls, the platforms and tightrope used in the second challenge included with the eight cast members already paired up. "Our newlywed couples fell _hard_ for Niagara Falls," he said as Blaineley's actions caused three of the four teams to fall from the rope. "With the teams dissolved alliances were tested," Ella was shown tripping into a kiddie pool while blindfolded, earning a wince from Tyler; "and _tempers_ too!" Sugar cried out in outrage as she accidentally fell off the stage that was being used for the first challenge.

"Fake-marrying our new arrival Blaineley was a confusing experience for Ezekiel," the host said over the opening shots of Blaineley's song, Ezekiel looking confused as he tried to direct her in the first challenge, and struggling to carry her in the second. "While getting to partner with her actual girlfriend didn't do _Samey_ much good," Chris added, putting a bitter emphasis on the cheerleader's unwanted nickname as she and Dawn were shown getting turned away from Chef's Customs booth. "And she was sent home a little _sorely_ ," Sammy was shown hitting Chris with her parachute pack, "thanks to Sugar's sneaky work behind the scenes." The recap ended with a series of short clips in quick succession showing the pageant queen talking to Alejandro, then Ezekiel, then Blaineley, and then Sammy.

The scene flashed to a close-up of a wood-burning stove, the host promptly walking by in front of it with a smile on his face. "Who will win? Who will lose? Who will be-"

He stopped when he noticed something, the camera zooming out to reveal Blaineley sitting in his private hot tub in a red strapless bikini. "In my _hot tub_?!" Chris finished in outrage. "The tub is for hosts _only_!" he told her.

"I'm a host," Blaineley countered smugly, "watch! Lights, fights, and a whole world of awesome sights," she told the camera with vibrant hand gestures, "right here on Total Drama-" The camera zoomed out quickly, in time with Blaineley's pacing of the title, to show the plane flying to the 'right'.

"OKAY, OUTTA MY TUB!" Chris yelled at her.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The scene opened on Ella sitting at the juice bar in first class, enjoying a piece of a decently-sized wedding cake sitting on the counter. Tyler walked up with a grin on his face, and said "Man, isn't it awesome that we get to enjoy first class together?" He took a seat next to Ella, then waggled his eyebrows and added " _Alone_...?"

Ella blushed and looked away. "Oh, yes, it is," she answered. "I've never split such a large cake between two people before," she added, looking back at him with a smile before the camera briefly moved over to the cake.

Tyler stared at her blankly for a moment, then swiped a bit of frosting from the cake with his finger and tasted it. "Yeah, I guess," he told her, "but I was talking more like, y'know, the two of _us_... _together_..."

Ella sighed sadly. "I know, but...I'm truly sorry, I think we're a great team, but after what happened with Alejandro I'm afraid my heart simply isn't _ready_ for new romance yet."

Tyler hung his head and sighed. "I understand..."

xxx

"I don't understand," Tyler confessed. "I thought that by now, even if she wasn't totally over Alejandro she'd at least be more in to _me_. I guess she's hurting more than I thought. Or maybe this is just how she takes things, I don't know."

xxx

"Just, y'know, remember that I'm here for you if you wanna, like, _talk_ , or whatever," Tyler said awkwardly.

"Thank you, Tyler," Ella smiled, "I'm glad to hear that."

It was then that the plane's intercom system turned on, and an unexpected voice made an announcement.

"Attention fellow passengers," Blaineley said cheerily as a trendy tune played, "feeling alone in the game? Looking for an ally you can call your own?"

The camera switched over to Alejandro and Sugar in economy class as Blaineley spoke. The pageant queen looked up and scowled, muttering "Now what does she think she's doin'?"

"Consider joining forces with _me_ ," Blaineley continued, the shot cutting over to her in the cockpit. "You won't regret it! This promise is not legally binding, offer may be withdrawn at any time." He second sentence was said quickly and under her breath in the manner of the 'fine print' of a commercial, and when she finished she hung the microphone up and turned a smile towards Chef.

"Have _you_ considered helping out a contestant?" she asked.

"I never mess with the game, girlie," Chef told her gruffly.

"Oh, right, you got busted for helping _three people_ last season," Blaineley said. "Shame, really, 'cause I have connections in the TV world, and I've always thought you'd be great on your _own_ show," she whispered into his ear. "Chris is just holding you back!"

Chef raised an eyebrow at her in disbelief.

/

"Honestly, the nerve of that girl," Sugar said with a scowl as the scene cut back to economy class.

"What, jealous that Blaineley has the courage to be blunt about her intentions?" Alejandro asked in amusement.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Sugar said quickly, "of course that's what I meant! In fact, I'm gonna go an' yell at her fer makin' me look bad!" She stood up, then hastily left the compartment.

"Be my guest," Alejandro said as she left. "It's not like her 'strategy' will do her any good! Or _you_ , for that matter," he added under his breath with a sly look.

The camera held on his close-up for a moment before a light cough caused it to rotate around, showing Dawn and an anxious-looking Ezekiel sitting apart on the opposite wall.

"You really shouldn't underestimate Sugar," Dawn warned. "She's much craftier than you realize."

" _Please_ ," Alejandro scoffed, "Sugar's not a threat! You're just trying to make her look bad so _you_ don't get voted off _next_."

"But Sugar's the reason Sammy got voted off!" Dawn tried to explain. "Sugar tricked her into voting for Ezekiel so there wouldn't be a tie!"

"Yeah, like _that's_ believable, eh," Ezekiel told her. "After gettin' tricked by Scott and Scarlett do you really expect us to think she'd go an' trick someone else?"

"I agree," Alejandro chimed in, "I just can't see Sugar doing it – though I _will_ admit I'm curious as to where the vote for Ezekiel came from. Maybe your girlfriend came up with the idea herself, as a way of getting back at Blaineley for causing us to fall perhaps? Or maybe _you_ are the one who voted for Ezekiel," Alejandro accused, "and in your guilt for allowing your girlfriend to be eliminated, you've decided to pin the blame on _Sugar_?"

"Hey, yeah!" Ezekiel said in outrage. "Sammy isn't here anymore, so how do we even know yer tellin' the truth about who she voted for eh?"

"Why would I _lie_ about something like this?" Dawn asked pleadingly.

"Why indeed?" Alejandro murmured, almost to himself.

"Well I don't know," Ezekiel answered. "But I _do_ know that somebody voted fer me, eh, and that I don't trust either of you two right now." He stood up and stormed out of the room, leaving Dawn to sigh and hang her head and Alejandro to smirk thoughtfully.

xxx

"Sugar may have convinced _Ezekiel_ to vote with us last time," Alejandro mused, "but I doubt she could think of something as complex as preventing a tie. On the other hand, Dawn _does_ tend to be honest about how she sees things, warped though her view of the world is. She's probably just mistaken," he told the camera. "But as I could use her vote right now, perhaps it would be better to play along with her for a little while...," he finished, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

xxx

"Perhaps you're on to something," Alejandro told Dawn as the scene in economy class resumed. "And at the very least, I can see merit in getting rid of Sugar. Perhaps an... _alliance_ is in order?" he offered with a smile.

Dawn narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion. "What's the catch?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing much," Alejandro admitted, standing up and crossing the aisle to sit next to her. "I mean, I hardly expect _either_ of us to trust each other, especially after you tricked me into revealing my plans to Ella. But still," he continued quickly, "I think we can work out some sort of...temporary agreement. Agreed?" he asked, extending his hand.

"For now," Dawn said, shaking his hand warily. A few deep notes played over a close-up of Alejandro's smiling face.

/

The scene cut to the series' world map as the plane icon flew eastward from Niagara Falls all the way to China, set to a dramatic tune.

Another flash skipped the footage ahead, showing the cast assembled in an open area near the Great Wall.

"Nihao," Chris greeted as some traditional local music played in the background. "Welcome to China! A vast country rich in history, culture, innovation, and, delicious sauces," he said as the camera zoomed in on the group. "Our first challenge is torn from the pages of her history. In 8 Million B.C., King Dim-sum led a battalion of donkey warriors down this very Great Wall."

"Umm, excuse me!" Ella interrupted, earning a mildly surprised look from the host. "I think somebody made just a _teensy_ error when they looked up the local history."

"And that would be?" Chris asked skeptically.

"Umm...everything you just said," Ella admitted bashfully.

xxx

"My mother's family are from Tianjin," Ella explained, "so she made it a point to teach me _all_ about Chinese history. And also the folktales," she added, "which I liked more."

xxx

"We've provided a selection of vehicles to race to our mystery destination," Chris continued without acknowledging the correction, the camera panning across a section of the Wall to reveal the 'vehicles' as a pair of wooden sandals, a donkey, a rickshaw, a tricycle, a bicycle, and a skateboard.

"They're first-come, first-serve," he explained as the camera moved back to him, "it's the Chinese way. Ready?" he said, raising his hand like a flag as a deep chanted note played. "Set!" The seven contestants got into running positions, and Chris' cellphone rang. "I better get this," he told them blankly, pulling it out of his breast pocket and answering it. "McLean here," he said. "Yeah, I'm tryin' to do a show here?"

"Can we go or what?" Sugar asked in annoyance.

"Mm-hmm, yeah," Chris said into the phone.

"Yeah, we go?" Alejandro asked.

"Yeah, can we do this later?" Chris said to the voice on the phone.

"So we go _now_ then," Tyler said.

"Okay, fine!" Chris told the voice on the phone in exasperation.

The seven contestants promptly took off at a run. "Hey, who said you could go?" he called after them. "Yeah well, watch out! There's a few things I was gonna warn you about!" he yelled before grinning and lowering his voice. "But, forget it!" he laughed.

/

The scene skipped ahead to the seven competitors racing up an inclined portion of the wall. Tyler and Ella were currently in front, and the jock told his crush "Hey, we should totally rock the rickshaw! I can pull you, like, all the way!"

"Sorry, lovebirds, but you're gonna have to work for it!" Blaineley taunted as she rapidly came up behind them."

xxx

"I would like to send a shout out to my personal trainer Bunny for making me do all those sprints," Blaineley told the confessional camera. "You rule! Sorry for calling you a waste of skin," she added with an almost bashful expression, "you know that was just the adrenaline talking."

xxx

"Find you own rickshaw!" Tyler told Blaineley as she ran between him and Ella.

"Sorry Blaineley, but I have to agree," Ella added.

"Hai~yaa! Blaineley rebutted, delivering a brutal karate chop that knocked the singer over.

"Ella, no!" Tyler said in worry, stopping in place and allowing Blaineley to get ahead.

xxx

"Also, big ups to my hand-to-hand combat instructor Butchie," Blaineley added, striking a martial arts pose. "You are _not_ a roid monkey, no matter what I said!"

xxx

"What's your problem?" Tyler asked with a scowl, crouching down to help a groaning Ella.

"Nothing," Blaineley replied confidently, "although _you two_ seem to have your fair share of them."

She reached the rickshaw just then, and jumped into it with a cry of "Okay, come and get me _alliance buddy_!" She paused impishly for a second, then chuckled and said "Oops! What I _mean_ is, if any of you would still like to _be_ in an alliance with me, feel free to pull! I'm a true size 0, fyi," she added as a few deep notes played.

/

The scene flashed ahead to a close-up of the skateboard and bicycle as Alejandro and Ezekiel came upon them nearly out of breath, the homeschooler much more so.

"Ezekiel, I know you don't trust me," Alejandro opened.

"Ya got that right eh," Ezekiel interjected.

" _However_ ," the charmer continued, "as a show of good faith, I'll allow you first pick of whichever one you like."

"Err...okay," Ezekiel said, turning a skeptical eye from him to the bike and board. "I guess I'll go with the bicycle, eh," he said," hopping on. "It's faster, plus I know how to ride it."

"A smart choice," Alejandro smiled as he pedaled away before stepping on the skateboard, sending it spinning up into his hands with a darker grin as a dramatic tune played.

xxx

"A small price to pay if it gets Zeke to trust me more," Alejandro confessed, leaning against the restroom wall. "Of course, I _did_ forget to mention the gold medal I won in the South American Skate Olympics."

xxx

"Well that was _rude_ of her," Ella said as she and Tyler walked along together. "I suppose we'll have to use something else then."

"Ooh, like this!" Tyler said, excitedly running over to the tricycle. "Although I guess only one of us can ride it," he said, picking it up with one hand and scratching his head. "You want it?" he offered Ella.

"Oh no, I couldn't," Ella replied. "You got to it first, I'll find something else, like...," she looked around and saw the donkey and pogo stick, "one of those!"

She ran over to them, Tyler right behind her, but frowned when she noticed Dawn coming from the opposite direction. "Oh, I'm sorry," Ella said, "did you want this _fine_ little donkey?" she asked, bending over to pet the uncaring donkey on its head.

"It's okay, you can ride him," Dawn answered with a smile. "I can tell you've always wanted to ride something along the Great Wall, even if you'd prefer a noble steed."

"True," Ella admitted, "but I think _he's_ good enough," she said, referring to the donkey she was petting. Behind her, Tyler raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, uhh, we should probably get going," Tyler said to Ella, setting down the tricycle and getting on it.

"Oh, definitely," Ella smiled to Tyler after mounting the donkey side-saddle. "Will you be okay?" she asked Dawn as she picked up the pogo stick.

"I think so," the moonchild said, a little uncertainly as she started bouncing, her long hair streaming out behind her as she went ahead.

"Good," Ella smiled and nodded. "See you later, Sugar!' she called out amicably to the pageant queen before taking off with Tyler awkwardly at her side.

The camera panned back to Sugar, whose happy smile-and-wave faded into a scowl the moment Ella couldn't see her. "Great," she muttered as she looked down to see the wooden sandals, "all the good stuff's already gone!"

/

The footage flashed ahead to show Sugar on the ground struggling to put the sandals on, until a chuckle from behind her caught her attention.

"Those don't really seem like your _style_ ," Blaineley said, still sitting in the rickshaw by herself. "Why don't you just throw those away and pull me instead? We _are_ allies, aren't we?"

"Well, after you went an' blabbed about lookin' fer one on the _plane_ , maybe I wasn't so sure!" Sugar stood up and told her. "Maybe I should just leave you to lose this here race!"

"Come now," Blaineley said with a slightly nervous chuckle, "there's no need for that! I was just trying to see if anyone else was willing to join us, that's all. You have _nothing_ to worry about, trust me."

Sugar scowled at her, then said "Fine. But if you're lyin', there's gonna be _trouble_ , got it?"

"Got it," Blaineley said. "So, are you going to pull me or what? I sure would be grateful to whoever helps me out right now."

"Fine, but only 'cause I don't wanna deal with those dang _shoes_ ," Sugar said as she walked over to the rickshaw.

/

The scene moved to a head-on view of Alejandro and Ezekiel racing more-or-less side-by-side down a hill, the charmer having a slight lead.

"How are you doing back there, amigo?" Alejandro asked with an almost taunting smile.

"Pretty good, eh!" Ezekiel replied. "Don't count me out just on account of you bein' pretty good on that board!"

"Of course not!" Alejandro said, looking at the homeschooler as the camera moved to their side and the Wall leveled off. "If this season has taught me anything, it's that you're more talented than I realized!"

"Thanks!" Ezekiel said as he started pedaling faster. "And if this season has taught _me_ anything, it's that you don't pay enough attention when yer feeling confident, eh!" He said as he sped up and passed Alejandro, causing the handsome young man to raise an eyebrow then speed up as well.

The background music became tenser as the camera moved in front of them again, Ezekiel swerving to block Alejandro from passing him. His eyes darted forward and the camera cut to a small landmine-like device lying along the path, then up to the sky as Chris appeared in his helicopter.

"Yo, wanna know what _else_ the Chinese invented?" he called out through his megaphone, just as a smirking Ezekiel swerved again while Alejandro was distracted by the host.

Alejandro was shown unwittingly rolling over the mine with his skateboard, and the resulting explosion was shown from quite a ways back along the wall.

" _No_...," Alejandro groaned, covered in soot as he feebly rolled his skateboard another few inches, then fell over in a daze.

A few seconds later, Tyler and Ella passed him up on their tricycle and donkey. " _Hah_!" Tyler laughed, pointing a finger at his rival as they went by. "See you at the finish line, Al!"

Ella sighed. "To think, only a little while ago I would have happily stopped to help him," she said to Tyler. "I was such a _fool_ back then..."

"C'mon, don't be so down on yourself," Tyler said. "You were just, I don't know, following your heart or whatever. You didn't do anything _wrong_."

"But what if I _did_?" Ella countered. "You all kept warning me that Alejandro was a bad person, but instead of listening to _you_ I listened to my _heart_ , and that only got me hurt," she explained, unaware that her mount had started to slow down.

"I don't know, I still think you're being too hard on yourself," Tyler told her. "Also, you might wanna start singing again, that donkey's looking pretty tired."

"Oh, right, yes," the singer said with a faint blush of embarrassment, "I suppose Mr. Donkey _is_ a little old." She cleared her throat, then sang "Dear Mr. Donkey, I know you're quite fast! And if you'll still show us, we might have a blast!"

The donkey seemed to perk up at the sound of her song, and happily sped back up again to pass Tyler.

/

The background music became tense again as the scene flashed back over to Alejandro as he angrily skated along the wall. "I can't believe I let myself get so far behind," he grumbled. "I _never_ should have stayed behind to talk to Ezekiel."

It was then that he heard the sound of heavy panting accompanied by Blaineley's cheers of "You can do it!"

Alejandro sighed and allowed himself to slow down. "And now another distraction," he muttered to himself. "Although at least _this_ might be worth something."

He turned around, then skated over to the rickshaw that was coming up from behind. "Greetings, ladies!" he said with a handsome smile.

"Hi Alejandro," Blaineley replied with a flirtatious smile. "Can I just say that it was a _pleasure_ working with you on the last vote."

"Believe me, the pleasure was all mine," Alejandro told her, circling around the rickshaw to put himself alongside them heading in the same direction. "Still, I _am_ surprised to see the two of you working together. You're not trying to form an alliance behind my back, are you?"

"Why would I do that for?" Sugar answered between heavy breaths. "I just figured that since you went on ahead with Zeke fer some reason, I might as well stick back an' help Blaineley out. Who knows, maybe we can make her a permanent part of our alliance!"

"Ooh, that sounds like a _great_ idea!" Blaineley said. "If it's an alliance with you two then count me in."

"Excellent!" Alejandro smiled. "I apologize for doubting your intentions, Sugar," he told the pageant queen. "I've been getting...paranoid, lately, with my position in the game being so poor." He gave his ally a charming smile, but she just huffed and looked away to hide her blush.

"Well, if you'd like to make up for it," Blaineley told him, "I'm sure Sugar wouldn't mind you taking her place pulling me. I know _I_ wouldn't mind."

"Well, I _am_ gettin' pretty tired pullin' your 'size zero' butt around," Sugar mused. "Maybe a switch wouldn't be a bad idea!"

"As much as it pains me to say it, I must decline," Alejandro said sadly. "I would not want the two of you to have to be seen with me, it might make the others angry. I'll have to make it up to you some other time. Adios!"

"Aww, too bad!" Blaineley said with an exaggerated pout as the charmer sped off.

"Yeah," Sugar grunted in annoyance.

/

The scene flashed to Dawn, hopping along on her pogo stick with nobody else in sight.

She sighed to herself. "Well, I guess it's last place for me then," she said aloud. "Hopefully the penalty won't be too great." She heard and saw an explosion far off in the distance along the wall, raised her eyebrows, then looked skyward and said "Oh Earth Mother, _please_ let that have been Blaineley and Sugar!"

/

It had, in fact, been Tyler who'd hit the mine, as revealed when the camera cut to him in a smoldering crater, lying on his back in a daze with the tricycle a few yards away.

"Oh no, Tyler!" Ella said in concern, patting her mount on the neck and getting him to stop so she could slide off. "Are you alright?" she asked, running to his side and helping him up.

The jock coughed out a bit of soot, then said "Yeah, I think so."

Just then, Alejandro rolled past the two looking surprisingly tired. " _Hah_!" he taunted as he skated past. "See you two at the finish line!"

Tyler and Ella scowled as he rolled out of sight.

/

Another flash took the scene back to Blaineley and Sugar, the pageant queen dripping with sweat.

"Come on Sugar, you can do it!" the older blonde cheered. "Show 'em some _girl power_!"

"Would you shut up?" Sugar panted. "Why don't _you_ try pullin' fer a change?"

"Pull? _Moi_?" Blaineley replied in disbelief. "I'm almost flattered that you think I can do it, but trust me: I do _not_ have the upper body strength to pull the cart _and_ you."

"Well," Sugar panted, looking dazed and exhausted as she started to stumble, "you ain't gonna have a choice pretty soon."

"Sugar?" Blaineley asked in rising panic. "That was just a joke, right? Sugar?"

The camera panned back to the pageant queen, who had a far-off look in her eyes, then down to her stumbling feet just as she stepped on a mine. She wailed in terror as she was sent flying off backwards into the air, and Blaineley bit her lip as she watched.

"Well _now_ how am I gonna get to the finish?" she asked aloud.

/

The scene moved to the sky, where Chris was flying his helicopter. "Anybody who survives," he called out over his megaphone, "meet me at the finish!" He smiled and turned his attention to the camera. "There's more bombs to come, plus, free fortune cookies with every take-out entree. Right here, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

Sugar flew by screaming below the helicopter as the camera zoomed out while the season's title was dropped.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed on a shot of Chris standing next to a finish banner set up on top of the Wall. "Welcome back to Total Drama," he told the camera, "where our contestants are in a mega-tough race down the Great Wall of-" he gasped and looked towards the path as a warning cry came.

"LOOK OUT!" Ezekiel shouted, just before he came barreling through on his bike. Chris quickly jumped out of the way by going over the battlements, and Ezekiel skidded to a stop a few seconds after. He wiped the sweat from his brow, "then looked around and smiled. "Hey, I guess I won!"

"Congratulations," Alejandro told him, nearly out of breath as he rolled up past the finish line just then. "You were a... _worthy_ competitor. You've earned your prize."

"Actually," Chris told them as he hauled himself back up into view on the edge of the battlements, "there _is_ no prize for first."

" _What_?!" Alejandro and Ezekiel exclaimed together.

"If you had waited for me to say the rules," the host told them, " _anybody_ who makes it over the line before the gong rings," the shot zoomed out to show a large gong standing nearby, "gets to join me for a _very_ special lunch. Aka, the next part of the competish!"

"Well, I guess I still won at least," Ezekiel admitted.

"And _I_ don't feel as bad for letting it happen," Alejandro added.

The sound of hoofbeats caught the three men's attention, and the camera cut to the finish line as Ella crossed.

"Oh my, I can't believe we made it!" she said cheerfully, scratching her happy-looking donkey on the head. "And it's all thanks to _you_ , Mr. Donkey," she told it sweetly. The sound of squeaking wheels got her attention in turn, and she turned her smile back towards the finish line. "We did it, Tyler! Isn't that fantastic?"

"Yeah," Tyler told her, still covered with a fine layer of soot, "but watch out!" Ella gasped and realized she was still right in his path, and backed up flush against her donkey friend. Tyler was still forced to swerve around her, however, and hit a bump in the road that caused him to fly over the handlebars of his tricycle and tumble along with it all the way into the gong. "Ohh man," he chuckled, shaking the ringing from his ears, "that was _extreme_. So who came in first, anyway?"

"I did, eh," Ezekiel raised his hand. "But-"

"Awesome, guy!" Tyler said, bounding over to give his friend a high five. "What did you win?"

"Nothing," Chris repeated irritably. "Which you would have _known_ had you let me announce the _rules_."

"Oh," Tyler said blankly. "I guess we managed to beat Blaineley at least," he told Ella who nodded happily.

"Sorry to disappoint the two of you," the woman herself spoke up, bringing the attention of all to the rickshaw standing a little ways away, "but I got here right before you did."

"Err, how?" Ezekiel asked in utter astonishment. "I coulda sworn you weren't there a second ago."

"And where's Sugar?" Alejandro asked. "I thought she was pulling you!"

"How I got here is _my_ little secret," Blaineley answered smugly. "A good reporter never reveals her sources, after all."

/

The scene flashed to a large well-decorated just as Chef Hatchet lied down onto a clothed table, breathing and sweating heavily. "Man, this plan _better_ be worth it," he announced before flopping down in exhaustion.

/

A long, hollow sound started to play as the shot moved back to the challenge, the camera focusing on a close-up of the gong mallet. "Okay people," Chris announced as he grabbed the mallet, the shot zooming out as he readied his swing, "it's time to-"

A faint and rhythmic boing got his attention, and the camera cut to Dawn bouncing up on her pogo stick. "Wait!" she called out. "I'm almost there!"

The rest of the cast was shown, Ella and Tyler smiling happily while Blaineley, Sugar, and Alejandro watched with disinterest. Ezekiel, however, made a brief grunt of annoyance that only Tyler seemed to notice and raise an eyebrow at.

Dawn crossed the finish line, and Chris rang the gong. "Yes! Thank you so much!" she told the host as she bounced up to him, earning an impish smile in response.

/

The footage skipped ahead, the six contestants still in the challenge now seated at the very table Chef had flopped down on earlier. From left to right were Blaineley, Dawn, Ezekiel, Tyler, Ella, and Alejandro, with Chris standing in front of the empty far right end.

"To win today," the host began, "you'll have to eat more than everybody else at this totally awesome Chinese restaurant."

"Awesome!" Tyler cheered. "I _love_ Chinese food, and an eating contest is _no sweat_. Bring on the wontons, bro!"

" _Except_ ," Chris interjected over the jock's last few words, "this is the world's most _authentic_ Chinese restaurant," he explained as the camera panned over to him and a paixiao played in the background. "You'll be enjoying _real_ street food delicacies!" Alejandro's brow shot up in alarm. "Deep-fried _grasshoppers_ , kung pao _larvae_ ," the host began to list off with a smug smile, causing the handsome young man to nearly retch.

"Oh my," Ella said, bringing a hand to her mouth in shock before smiling in realization. "I forgot, you have a weak _stomach_ , don't you Alejandro?" she taunted the heartbreaker. "Too bad, I guess you won't be able to win invincibility..."

Alejandro swallowed, then turned a dry look towards the singing princess. "Oh? And what makes you think _you'll_ do any better?"

It was then that Chris' cellphone rang again, and he answered it with a quick motion and an irritated look. "Yo, it's McLean," he said tersely before walking off. "Yeah...I'm trying to make a show here?"

The contestants watched him leave, then Alejandro and Tyler turned their attention back to Ella. "You were saying...?" Alejandro asked.

" _I_ happen to have _had_ authentic Chinese street food before," she told her former crush in an almost haughty tone. "In fact, my dear mother and her family make it all the time! I can handle whatever we get served!" She smiled proudly, as did Tyler, while Alejandro merely scowled.

xxx

"I _maaaay_ have told just a _teensy_ little fib back there," Ella confessed in a whisper with the smile of a child who knows she's been naughty. "True, my mother's recipes _are_ authentic, but I haven't had any of the really _exotic_ stuff in years. But Alejandro doesn't need to know _that_."

xxx

"Well then, aren't _you_ lucky," Alejandro told her in a snide tone. "Especially since _Sugar_ didn't make it, she'd be a shoe-in to win this if she were here!"

"What's this about me bein' the obvious winner?" the pageant queen herself asked, the camera zooming out to show her standing to the right with a few blotches of mud on her.

"Hi, Sugar!" Ella waved happily, not noticing the pageant queen's immediate scowl.

"It's a relief to know you're alright," Alejandro told her. "But I must know, what happened to you?"

Sugar shrugged. "Got blown up an' landed in a pig pen. They were some fierce hogs, but they weren't no match fer _Sugar_ ," she explained, pounding her fist at her name. "Now are ya gonna tell me what y'all are doin'?"

"It's a Chinese street food eating contest," Ella explained.

"Aww, for real?!" Sugar said in shock and dismay. "Shucks, I've been lookin' forward to this all season and now I missed it!"

"Truly, it is a tragedy that you aren't able to compete," Alejandro said, patting her on the back as she slumped over.

"Okay," Chris said, closing his phone and walking back over. "You have to eat each bowl of delish food," he said, walking past the seven contestants including Sugar on the end, "opening your mouth to prove it went down. If you're last to finish, or you puke, you go sit with Sugar on the loser bench."

"Who you callin' a _loser_?" the pageant queen spat angrily.

It was then that Chef walked past pushing a cart with six bowls on it; each contained a rectangular block of something with layers, but while five of the meals were a dull greenish-gray color the last had a pinkish tint to it. The bowls were placed in front of each contestant as Chef passed them, with the pinkish one going to Blaineley. He nodded curtly at the woman, and Blaineley winked back.

"Looks simply _scrumptious_ , Chef!" she told him as he moved off-screen.

One of the other pieces of street food made a sick squelching sound as it was picked up by a pair of chopsticks, the camera zooming out to reveal them in the hands of Dawn. "Oh my, this isn't _meat_ is it?" she asked worriedly.

She was answered by a familiar ding and the music note icon spinning into the lower-right corner of the screen. "Allow me to begin today's number," Chris said, leaning into the shot with a wide grin on his face.

~/~

[Colorful stylized clouds of purple, pink, and green drifted across the screen as an elegant sizhu ensemble piece began to play. The clouds dispersed to reveal a backdrop of tall, stylized mountains and Chris rose up in center-screen. He had appropriated a traditional Chinese opera costume for his own use – a light blue robe with red trim, a long black beard, an ornate headdress, and a face painted pink and white. He had started singing even before making his appearance.]

" _A little Chinese lesson for you_ ~! _Manman chi means 'Enjoy your meal'_!"

" _Manman chi, it's no raw deal_!"

[The six still in the contest sang together, floating wide-eyed and cross-legged in mid-air before the table rose up to their level and they looked at their respective dishes.]

"Please tell me this isn't _eel_...," Dawn groaned, the music fading out and the scene cutting back to the real restaurant as the animal-lover gave another hesitant look at her piece of mystery food.

~/~

"It's donkey meat!" Chris revealed. "Local delicacy."

A dramatic note played as the camera panned across the faces of the six contestants as they viced their disgust. "I can't eat this!" Dawn declared, standing up dramatically. "It was a poor, _defenseless_ creature!"

Blaineley, sitting next to the moonchild, promptly tossed her own different-looking donkey meat into her mouth, chewed it, and swallowed without issue. "Mm, delicious!" she said, opening her mouth to prove to Chris that she'd eaten it.

Ezekiel, Ella, Tyler, and Alejandro were all shown chewing as well, the weak-stomached charmer having the most difficulty.

"Done!" Ella announced, cheerily opening her mouth to prove it.

"Done!" Tyler followed moments later.

"Done, eh!" Ezekiel finished.

The three looked to Alejandro, who was clenching his eyes shut in disgust and muttering "Sólo es carne...sólo es carne..." to himself.

Ella and Tyler turned their heads back towards Dawn, and Tyler said "Hurry! You gotta beat him!"

"Not really, eh," Ezekiel muttered bitterly to himself, the remark going unnoticed by his friends but not by Blaineley, who smirked slyly.

"I'm sorry, friends," Dawn said, shaking her head sadly and putting her donkey meat back in the bowl, "but I can't."

Alejandro finally swallowed, shuddered, and announced "Done!" He opened his mouth, and sure enough it was empty.

"Dawn, you're out!" Chris told the mystic with a taunting smile, unaware of the pudgy hand reaching up from behind the table and snatching the donkey meat from Dawn's bowl. "Loser bench!" Dawn groaned and hung her head as the host pointed her to the side.

/

Dawn was shown taking her seat further down the table, casting a sharp glare at Sugar who seemed to be readjusting herself in her seat, before noticing the girl and returning the glare and also, for reasons unknown, chewing.

/

A close-up was shown of the next dish being presented in bowls to the five remaining players; the first four received heaping helpings of brown, segmented, larvae-like somethings, while Blaineley received a heaping helping of spaghetti and meatballs.

"Mmm, smells delicious, Chef!" she remarked coolly, to which the hulking man merely snickered mischievously.

~/~

[The return of the sizhu music and more stylized clouds blowing across the screen signaled the song's resumption, and Chris once again rose into the center of the mountainous backdrop in full costume.]

" _Manman chi means 'bon apetite'_!"

" _Manman chi, what do we have to eat_?"

[The five remaining sang together, the table and dishes once again rising up to meet them in mid-air.]

A close-up was shown of the meal squirming around in the bowl in front of Alejandro, the camera panning up to show him looking utterly horrified. "Why's it still moving it's _feet_? It's hundreds and hundred of," he paused to shudder as the music cut out, " _feet_."

~/~

"Live meal worms," Chris explained. "Local delicacy!"

Another sharp dramatic note played as four of the remaining players shuddered in disgust and/or watched their food crawl around, but once again Blaineley was having no problems at all.

"Wow, Chef, five stars, mmm!" she remarked, having already finished her meal.

"You can't be _serious_?" Alejandro said, struggling to even bring one of the meal worms to his mouth. "Are you actually _enjoying_ this?"

Blaineley shrugged happily, then said "Done!" and opened her mouth wide.

"Done!" Tyler chimed in moments later, looking slightly queasy.

"Done!" Ezekiel added, and the camera zoomed out to show Ella still chewing, and Alejandro who had only just put the first in his mouth.

It was no surprise when Ella was the next to swallow and call out "Done!"

Chris leaned in to check his open mouth, then swung around to smile tauntingly at Alejandro. "Alejandro, you're out! Loser bench!"

The handsome young man replied with a stream of projectile vomit that coated Chris' face quite well. He groaned, then stood up from the table, unaware of the hand reaching out and swiping his leftovers.

/

He was shown taking his seat at the loser bench moments later, and joined Dawn in giving Sugar, who was still chewing, a suspicious glance. The pageant queen just looked at them, shrugged, and looked back towards the challenge, still chewing away.

/

~/~

[The colorful clouds crossed over the screen once more, and for a third time Chris rose up in front of the mountainous backdrop in full costume as the song resumed.]

" _Manman chi, it's dinner for four_!"

" _Manman chi, we've got room for more_!"

[The four remaining sang, their meal this time revealed to be what looked like green and crispy starfish on skewers – except for Blaineley's, whose skewer seemed more like steak and potatoes.]

" _I think I'm almost done for_...," Tyler sang, holding up his skewer with dread.

~/~

"Starfish on a skewer," Chris said eagerly. "Local delicacy!" Chef nodded happily, and another dramatic tune played as Ella, Tyler, and Ezekiel cringed and took their first bites.

Blaineley, meanwhile, had already finished once again. With a long drawn out "Mmm...," and a wink at Chef she slid the empty skewer out of her mouth, then opened it wide. Chris shared a knowing smirk with Chef, and the big man giggled.

"D-done," Ella said with a forceful shudder, swallowing and opening her mouth to prove it.

The camera moved to Ezekiel and Tyler, both of which had eaten the majority of their starfish. "C'mon, I can do this," Tyler told himself. He clenched his fist, shoved the rest of the starfish in his mouth, and began to chew.

"Done!" a voice to his right said, and the jock opened his eyes in shock. The camera panned over to Ezekiel, who was having his open mouth inspected by Chris.

"Tyler, you're out!" the host announced. " _Loser bench_!" The jock groaned and hung his head, then coughed up a starfish arm.

/

Tyler took his spot next to Alejandro further down the table and immediately noticed that both his rival and Dawn were giving odd looks to Sugar, who in turn was looking with annoyance at Tyler himself – and no longer chewing.

"Uhh, did I miss something?" Tyler asked in confusion.

/

A tense, trilling note played over a close-up of the next dish sitting in front of Ella: a bowl of green mush, with a pair of purplish tentacles and an eyestalk coming out of it. Ella was looking extremely uncertain about it, and the shot cut over to Chris and Chef.

"Yeah, we don't even know what that's called," Chris admitted. "It ain't right whatever it is."

~/~

[The music resumed once more, bringing the colorful clouds and mountain backdrop with it. As usual, Chris sang the next line.]

" _Manman chi, don't get the squirts_!"

" _Manman chi, we'd rather eat our shirts_!"

[The remaining three sang together again, though Blaineley's dish looked far more like a bowl of ice cream with a little parasol sticking out of it than the tentacled mush that Ezekiel and Ella had.]

"Hey, hold on!" Tyler interrupted, bringing the song to a halt.

~/~

"Why does _Blaineley's_ food look so much better?" the jock asked to a dramatic beat, rising from his seat in outrage.

"It's exactly the same!" the older blonde countered quickly, at exactly the same time as Chris' cellphone ringing yet again.

"Listen, man!" he answered irritably, walking away from the table.

"And what was _Sugar_ eating earlier?" Dawn spoke up to another dramatic note, standing up and pointing an accusing finger at the pageant queen.

"Hey, lay off!" Ezekiel countered. "She didn't do nothin' wrong, eh!"

"Yeah!" Sugar added with a nod. "All I did was take the leftover Chinese food the rest of y'all didn't want!"

The confession stunned the others for a second, prompting Tyler to cringe and say "Dude, that's _gross_..."

"What, I was _hungry_!" Sugar said in defense.

"As...disgusting as that may be," Alejandro said, standing up and moving around the table, "it's not technically against the rules. However, none of that changes the fact that _Blaineley_ , at least, might be cheating." He gave the older woman a suspicious glance, which seemed to surprise her. "Chris," the charmer called to the off-screen host, "what are you going to do about our accusations?"

"Yeah, okay, _budget_ , blah blah blah," the host said, currently absorbed in his phone conversation. "What am I supposed to do?"

"I suggest you start by paying _attention_ to the show you're supposed to be _hosting_ ," Alejandro said sharply, causing Chris to look at him and end the call. " _Somebody_ has been giving Blaineley regular food instead of the same _disgusting_ dishes the rest of us had to eat."

"Yeah, I know," Chris said plainly before being interrupted by Blaineley.

"GET OVER I-" she yelled before registering what Chris had said. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, Chef told me about the little _alliance_ you tried to make with him," Chris explained with a sharp look at the woman. "So _I_ decided to give him the go ahead to play along long enough to deliver a little _punishment_."

The camera panned over to Chef, who was cackling eagerly. "Ohh, I'm sure you _loooved_ the food I made specially for ya, girly," he told his 'ally'. "But I don't think you're gonna love the _secret ingredients_ I added. Who _knows_ when they'll kick in," he finished with a cackle.

"Now listen, we gotta wrap this up," Chris said. "So, here's the dealie-o. One last round, whoever wins has invincibility in tonight's vote _and_ they get to take the person of their choice up to first class with them."

"And what of Blaineley's _special_ meal?" Alejandro asked.

"It stands," the host said. "Between what she's already eaten and what's in her bowl right now, I'd say she's got as much unpleasantness in her future as Zeke and Ella."

A dull note played as Blaineley's face dropped, and her stomach rumbled ominously.

"Now let's get this done," Chris said.

~/~

[The sizhu music and the clouds and the backdrop all returned, but this time it was the three remaining players who led the song.]

" _Manman chi, manman chi~i_..."

[They sang nervously as they looked at their meals, with Blaineley noticeably off-key.]

" _They love to eat on the Yangtze_!"

[Chris sang next, reappearing in full costume.]

" _Manman chi, manman_ -huh?"

[Chris continued over a shot of the main dish, it's eye still moving and its tentacles squirming. The host only stopped when he heard Blaineley gag, followed shortly by Ella and Ezekiel. The camera pulled out to show that both teens had actually decided to go for it and chug their mystery meal down as fast as possible; Blaineley took one look at them, then vomited.

Seconds later, Ella swallowed and Ezekiel vomited as well.]

" _Looks like it's my victory, Tyler you're with me_!"

[Ella sang weakly, looking rather haggard. Tyler grinned and pumped a fist in excitement, then looked alarmed. The camera cut back to Ella as her cheeks bulged, and she leaned back to vomit as well just as the music ended.]

~/~

/

The 'Gilded Chris' theme, of all musics, played over the transitional shot of the plane in flight. At its end, the scene cut to Alejandro and Dawn walking alone together through one of the plane's hallways.

"Listen," Alejandro whispered to the moonchild, "I understand that you want to vote out Sugar, but you won't have enough votes!" Dawn raised an eyebrow at him. "Vote Blaineley instead – I'm fairly certain she's Sugar's main ally right now, and after what she tried to pull today you _may_ be able to convince Tyler or Ella to vote with us!"

Dawn pursed her lips in skepticism. "Why should I believe you?" she whispered.

"Because I know how this game _works_ ," he answered. "And besides, this is the only way for you to get back at Sugar for getting your girlfriend voted out!"

Dawn peered closely at him for a moment as they walked, then let out her breath and looked ahead. "Very well. I'll vote for Blaineley."

/

The footage skipped ahead, showing Dawn and Alejandro arriving at the end of a line of the other contestants all waiting outside the confessional bathroom. Ella and Tyler were directly ahead of Dawn, followed by Ezekiel and Sugar at the front with Blaineley presumably in the bathroom.

"Excuse me," Dawn whispered, getting the attention of Ella and Tyler. "I know this may sound _odd_ , but I think we should-"

Her words degenerated into indecipherable mumbles as the music turned ominous and the camera panned ahead to Ezekiel shooting a dirty look towards the back of the line.

He looked back towards the front, then nudged Sugar. "Hey, we're still gonna vote Dawn, right?" he asked her. "I just can't get over what she's been sayin' aboot-"

"Say no more," Sugar replied with a smile and a wink. "The two of us are stickin' together, an' I asked Blaineley to vote fer her too."

Ezekiel smiled as the music hit its peak, but both fell flat as a loud fart pierced through the bathroom door, causing the six outside it to pinch their noses and cringe.

/

A flash took the scene to a close-up of one of the tiki-like statues in the elimination chamber, the camera panning left and a little bit down across the seven contestants as they awaited their fate – Ezekiel and Sugar and Alejandro in the top two rows; Ella and Tyler below Ezekiel; Blaineley in the bottom left corner looking rather sick, and Dawn in the bottom right.

During the pan, Chris could be heard counting the votes in a rather nasally voice. "Blaineley, Dawn, Blaineley, Dawn, Alejandro, Blaineley!" The shot reached him just as he tossed the sixth vote aside and the music became tense, revealing the host to be pinching his nose as he held the passports at arm's length. "And, the final vote goes to... _Dawn_ ," he announced, revealing the stamped face on the final passport. "It's a tie!"

"Very well," Dawn sighed, calmly standing up. "Bring on the tiebreaker, so that the Earth Mother's will can be _done_." She ended with a pointed look at Blaineley.

Chris' cellphone rang yet again, but host merely hung up with a single button and tossed it over his shoulder. "The producer's breathing down my neck, and I'm gettin' a _lot_ of flack on this budget stuff," he explained as dramatic music began to build. "So, _I_ was thinking, why don't you _both_ take off?" He held up a pair of tattered parachute packs and grinned.

" _What_?!" Blaineley and Dawn exclaimed together, the latter rising from her seat. They were answered by the parachute packs getting tossed into their arms.

"But wait," Dawn said as the sombre elimination theme began to play, "how is eliminating both of us going to help save money?"

"Weight on the plane, food budget, I don't know," Chris answered with an uncaring shrug. "I just don't like either of you."

"Well then friends," Dawn proclaimed as Chef herded her and Blaineley towards the exit, "before I go, I must warn you all of a great evil lurking on this plane! And I'm _not_ talking about Alejandro."

The shot cut to the remaining cast, Alejandro looking amused while Sugar and Ezekiel looked annoyed and Ella and Tyler just looked confused. The camera cut back to the two women as they reached the door; Dawn raised a finger and took a breath, but Blaineley cut her off by slapping a hand over her mouth.

"Not so fast, _I'm_ getting the last words here," she said angrily. "Staci? She's hiding in the _hold_! Ella, Sugar hates your _guts_ , get a clue!" The shot cut to Sugar looking surprised, then narrowing her eyes hatefully at Ella, who was looking at the pageant queen with tears in her eyes.

"And _speaking_ of Sugar," Blaineley continued, immediately getting the pageant queen's wide-eyed attention again, "she's been playing all of you! She's _not_ as stupid as she makes herself seem, and she's not _sorry_ about teaming up with Scott and Scarlett. Heck, if anything she was totally into it!" Ezekiel and Tyler gasped. "Not only that, but she's the only one who ever laid eyes on that _letter_ Dawn left." The moonchild herself gasped.

"Hey, uh, can you get her outta here already?" Sugar asked, trying not to look panicked.

"I don't know," Chris said with an impish smile, "this part's kinda _fun_."

"Oh you wanna hear something _really_ fun?" Blaineley replied in her own impish tone, the sombre music starting up again. "They wanted _me_ to host the show. You only got the job 'cause _I_ said no, and-"

Chris cut her off there, charging forward and shoving the two eliminated girls out the open door with a scream. The shot cut to the Final Five, four of whom were giving Sugar unhappy looks as the plane's side door closed.

"Uhuhuh," she chuckled awkwardly, "did it just get awfully quiet in here or what?" She received no answer, and her chuckles petered out.

/

The scene cut to first class, a sad tune playing as the camera panned to the couch where Ella was sitting, hugging her legs while Tyler sat beside her and tried to comfort.

"Sugar hates me?" Ella said sadly. "Sugar _hates_ me? That _can't_ be true!"

"I...think it _is_ ," Tyler admitted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "And I guess she lied to all of us about a lot of things..."

"I mean, I know I haven't spent much time with her since I broke up with Alejandro," Ella continued, apparently ignoring Tyler's comment, "but I didn't think she'd _hate_ me for it!"

"Uhh..I don't think that's-" Tyler tried to say before Ella interrupted him with a hug and a sob.

"Oh, Tyler," she said. "First Alejandro, and now Sugar? Does _everybody_ secretly hate me?"

Tyler sighed a little, then patted her on the back. "Well," he told her, "I know _I_ don't."

/

A flash moved the scene to the cockpit, where Chris slammed his fist down on the console in irritation. "Ya know, this is very serious, Chef," he told his assistant.

"Uhh...what is serious exactly?" the pilot asked.

"I was first choice for this gig, right?" Chris asked desperately.

"Uhh, of course you were!" Chef answered quickly.

"Yeah, right," Chris said in forced relief, laughing awkwardly and adding "There's no show without _me_! Watch _this_."

He turned to the camera and spread his arms as the capstone theme began to play. "Five contestants! One million dollars! And a whole bunch of the world left to mess up! Join us next time, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

The footage lingered on the furthest zoomed-out shot of the plane, and Chef said "Heh, it _is_ way better when you do it..."

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The bonus footage opened on Dawn falling through the air, her hair streaming out above her. "Well, that could've gone better I suppose," she told the camera with a light sigh. "At least everybody knows to be wary of Sugar, even if it _was_ only because Blaineley's seen more of the season than we have."

"Hey," the woman in question said, the camera zooming out to show her falling nearby, "they believed me because I actually have _credibility_ , unlike _you_."

"Oh, you can't fool me, Blaineley," Dawn countered calmly, "I know you know that's not the case. Just like you've always feared, nobody _actually_ takes you seriously without good reason once they know you. It's why you always try so hard to push others away!" Dawn told the older woman with a piercing yet concerned look.

"I-wha-that's not even-," Blaineley spluttered before switching to outrage. "How did you know that? And don't pull that 'aura-reading' crap with me."

"But it's true!" Dawn told her. "It's right there in your aura, between your frustrations about your lack of inner happiness and the jealousy you feel towards, well, just about everyone!"

"Hmmph," Blaineley scoffed, "like _you_ don't have issues of your own. The moment we get back to Canada, I'm gonna dredge up every last bit of dirt on you I can find and air it all on the Aftermath." She gave the younger woman a haughty, mocking look but was dismayed by Dawn's lack of reaction.

"Fell free to try," Dawn said with a calm shrug. "But first, you _might_ wanna open your parachute."

"Huh? Oh, right," Blaineley said before absentmindedly pulling the cord on her pack, Dawn doing the same.

Neither parachute opened.

"Have I mentioned how much I _hate_ this show?" Blaineley grunted before her cheeks abruptly bulged again.

"Yes," Dawn replied.

The camera zoomed out quite a ways to show the area they were falling towards – a rural village, by the looks of it, with the Great Wall running along in the distance.

Dawn screamed, and Blaineley vomited.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script  
**

As could be expected, I decided to keep the double elimination - but that's not to say this week's episode isn't different in other ways. For one thing, Blaineley is still more relevant than she was in canon - her cheating subplot is still technically there (though it backfired), plus she also got to have more interactions with Sugar, Alejandro, and even a little bit with Ella and Tyler. Not only that, but her parting speech accomplished far more than merely telling Sierra something she never really acts on, and possibly making Heather and Alejandro more aware of their mutual attraction. Sugar's game has been blown open, but you'll have to wait a week to see what will happen because of it.

And, of course, we say goodbye to Dawn as well. I'll admit that I'm sad to see her go as well, but it's just what I felt had to happen. In the end she wasn't able to convince people of Sugar's evil directly, but by helping Alejandro get rid of Blaineley she at least did so indirectly. I hope all her fans are satisfied with her exit. And, I think, even more so by her bonus clip...

As for the challenge...well, Alejandro and Blaineley taking the same vehicles as canon made sense to me. Ezekiel I decided to give the bike too, mostly as a way for Alejandro to try (and fail) to get on his good side. Sugar I knew was going to have to spend a good amount of time with Blaineley, meaning she ended up getting (and abandoning) the last-choice shoes. I liked the idea of Ella riding the donkey with Tyler on the tricycle alongside her, meaning Dawn was left with the pogostick (the mental image of which is surprisingly cute to me).

Sugar ended up getting blown away primarily because I didn't want her to more-or-less automatically win the challenge, but at least she got a bit of humor in by stealing the leftovers. I did consider her being Alejandro's method of cheating as a parallel to canon, but I figured that nobody would fall for it since Alejandro's been around longer and everyone knows he has a weak stomach. And speaking of Alejandro, I want to thank acosta perez jose ramiro for translating the line our charming villain used when trying to force down the donkey meat.

As for the winner of the eating contest...well, I did initially describe Ella as having a mixture of European and East Asian features when she first appeared way back during the Celebrity Manhunt special; it's only now that her intended heritage was actually relevant. Though she only barely won.

The song this week is, of course, a Shuffled version of 'A Chinese Lesson', and as such I don't have much to comment on it. I will say, however, that according to Wikipedia the opera face paint that Chris wears had a very...fitting meaning. The white indicates his role as a villain, basically, and the pink represents sophistication; it's the exact color combination you'd expect Chris to pick for himself. Neat, huh?

Anywho, that's it for this week. When next we meet it will be 2016, so I hope you enjoy these last few days of the year. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (18th Place)

Lightning - (17th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (16th Place)

Geoff - (15th Place)

Scott - (14th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (13th Place)

Sierra - (12th Place)

DJ - (11th Place)

Shawn - (10th Place)

Staci - (9th Place)

Sammy - (8th Place)

Blaineley - (Tied for 7th Place)

Dawn - (Tied for 7th Place)


	21. Chapter 21 - African Lying Safari

**Author's Note**

Welcome, dear readers, to the first episode of the new years! I hope you're all ready for it - and for the year in general, because by the end of it the entire Shuffled series will undoubtedly be finished.

The last day of 2015 was mild for me, mostly just working on next week's episode and finishing up my first True Pacifist run of Undertale - which, uh, along with the song ended up delaying my writing enough that I'll have to finish the last two-and-a-half minutes or so tomorrow. But no worries, it's coming along quite nicely!

Let's move on to the reviews, shall we?

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Haha, glad you loved the ending especially since I had to keep reminding myself to include the after-effects of what Blaineley unwittingly ate.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Mmm, yeah, you may be right. And since the Shuffled cast is generally more strategic than the canon one, she would have decided to be more active in strategy as well. She still tried to get Chef on her side, though, but since Chef's already been punished for making deals with contestants pretty harshly he wasn't willing to actually agree.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Glad you loved the chapter so much! Looks like I did a pretty good job justifying the two eliminations, as well as getting the character interactions down and giving Blaineley something to actually do. I hope you enjoy what's to come in the New Year!

 **DSX62415:** Ah, well, sorry that I had to disappoint you with Dawn's elimination but I suppose it happens to everybody sooner or later. I hope you enjoy the rest of the season regardless of what happens.

 **lordkalel:** Hah, to be honest even I'm not entirely sure who will be winning this season right now. I have potential endings in mind for pretty much everybody left. But regardless of what happens, I hope you enjoy it.

 **FOWLKON:** Hmm, yeah, that _is_ a pretty good line come to think of it. Oh well, I'm not gonna go back and use it now. As for Dawn hoping that it's sugar and Blaineley who got caught in the explosion...well, I figured it fit with her penchant for making dramatic declarations against her enemies, though perhaps I could've worded it a bit better. As for Ella being half-Chinese...well, it's been planned from the beginning, at least. And who knows, maybe some day she'll be able to take some inspiration from Mulan over Snow White (though Snow White suits her personality better, I think).

 **StarHeart Specials:** Well, not so much cheating as general lying, scheming, and betrayal. And though you're right that Sugar would have absolutely eaten anything passed to her, I didn't think Alejandro would try it since people actually know about his weak stomach in this series. It looks like I've done a good job making people actually start to root for Ezekiel...anyway, I hope you had a good Christmas and that you'll enjoy the New Year!

 **bruno14:** Glad to hear you liked the episode, even if you're sad to see Dawn go. And...I hope you enjoy the rest of the season as well.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Well, to be honest, I never _did_ decide what her food was laced with. Maybe laxatives, or maybe something to give her some mild food poisoning...but regardless, it's something I'm happy has amused so many people. It's what she gets for trying to cheat. And I hope you enjoy what the Serengeti will bring...

 **Animation Adventures:** Thanks! And yeah, that's what I was going for with Chef - he's been burned by making deals in the past, he's not about to go through that again just because of Blaineley. For Zeke...honestly, I've been kind of struggling this whole season with exactly how I want to portray him, but ultimately I decided that he's someone who is loyal to those he believes understand him and doesn't like hearing bad about them regardless of who it's coming from. And when he was betrayed by Scott, he kinda latched on to Sugar thinking that they had suffered the same way - so any attacks on Sugar he kind of views as attacks on himself, if that makes sense? And then there's the vote that was cast against him which got him riled up, and it all just made him very irritable and not very receptive to what Dawn was trying to tell him. But either way...with Sugar exposed, things are gonna change. Whether it's for the better or not has to be seen...

 **I. M. Poik:** Glad you liked it! And honestly, I'm kind of surprised that anyone is sad to see Blaineley go, though I can see why since she still could've done more. Ultimately, though, I just felt it was best to eliminate her in China like in canon. Interesting analysis of the Final Five, and I await your thoughts after the events of this week's episode...

 **CVluvFoxy:** Yeah, that was what I was pretty much hoping for with the eliminations last week - Blaineley at least did more than in canon, and Dawn had a good run but it was time to go. Other than that...well, glad to hear you're still rooting for Sugar, and not being a Tyler fan to begin with is at least understandable, because I'd hate to have it be my writing that caused someone to hate a character.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Mmm, well, I'm always one for surprises. Regarding last week's vote, I think it was Ella who voted for Alejandro rather than Blaineley - even knowing what Dawn was planning, Ella just couldn't bring herself to not vote for the man who hurt her. And speaking of Alejandro, the reason why he voted for Blaineley over Dawn is that after the challenge he felt that Blaineley and Sugar might be more loyal to each other than either were to himself. so if he got rid of Blaineley, that would mean Sugar would still have to be on his side, and that Dawn would still be willing to work with him in order to get rid of Sugar later on - especially if he could manipulate things to further pit Dawn and Ezekiel against each other. As for what happens with this week's vote...well, you'll have to read on and find out. I don't know if you'll like it or not, but I am eager to here your reaction.  
GLAD you liked the chapter overall, however. The reason why Chef didn't take up Blaineley's offer is because of what happened in season two - he got disciplined more harshly for his multiple illegal alliances than what happened in canon, so it's more natural that he'd be reluctant to make another one. And as for Ella's reaction or lack thereof to eating the donkey...it was more me just thinking what happened in canon was just an excuse for Cody to be the first one out. Plus, Ella might possibly be more familiar with donkey meat to realize that there hadn't been nearly enough time between her arrival and the first round of the challenge to kill, butcher, and cook the donkey.  
AND as for Ella's win...well, I really just wanted her and Tyler to be alone again for the scene. Don't worry, though, I'm pretty conscious about who wins the rest of the challenges.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Glad to hear you like it - and just because there's only a handful of contestants left doesn't mean I won't try to throw some unexpected twists and turns into the plot to keep things interesting. I hope you enjoy what comes next.

 **ljninja:** Good to see I did a good job writing Blaineley. And interesting predictions, as I always say - but you'll have to wait and read on to see how it all goes down.

 **Guest #1:** I'm going to assume that you're a different guest from the other one that posted a few reviews this week. More to the point...ehh, this joke's not really funny. Glad to hear you've at least read my other fic though.

 **OMAC001:** Well then, I hope you enjoy the rest of the season.

 **insertnamehere21:** Hah, it took me awhile to realize you were talking about the Sweden episode. Yeah, I didn't include the massage clip, since I don't really do the non-elimination bonuses. Glad you liked Ella finally finding out about Alejandro's true nature, though. And as for whether or not Tyler and Lindsay will meet in this series...well, I'm afraid you'll just have to wait and find out.

 **Star Saber21:** Yup, I'm happy I was able to convey that stuff with Chef's decision and why Sugar was forced to sit out the second challenge. And yeah, Ella's feeling a little down right now regarding Blaineley's revelation, and a certain someone is going to show up again. I hope you enjoy what becomes of all this.

 **Guest #2 (boogie443?):** Err, no, I'm pretty sure I didn't include anything Cody-like in the Area 51 episode; I didn't even include those pods that cloned him in canon. Also, yeah, Izzy hasn't debuted yet. I'm never going to pad out the reveals of eliminations; it annoys me and I trust my readers to know how to scroll down to avoid spoiling themselves.

 **Knifez:** I'm glad you enjoyed last week's episode! And yeah, I could have kept Blaineley around for another episode or so...but it would kinda feel weird. Her main purpose was to shake things up a bit and reveal Sugar's actions, which was better done sooner rather than later. I could have had her do that this week or something, and maybe even have the double elimination here as well...but again, the idea just seems a little off to me. And yeah, no canon ROTI cast members left...which I honestly didn't even think about. Hah, it's been so long since I've considered these characters in terms of their original casts. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rest of the season!

 **Commander Meat:** Glad you enjoyed all the taunting and reveals and such! I'm pretty happy with how it, and the next two chapters have turned out. And also that I've been able to actually make Sugar a proper villain, while still keeping true to her character. Even though I know Alejandro is still pretty prominent, I'm glad I was able to do so much with Sugar as the intended main antagonist.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Yeah, I've heard that from a couple people so far. But ultimately, I figured that her being more relevant to the two episodes was good enough - she made her mark, but keeping her around much longer would be weird (and also admittedly a bit more work for me). And yeah, I know I haven't really been hinting at Ella's roots, but there's been other parts of her that were more relevant. But I did manage to bring it up, which I'm happy about. A Happy New Year filled with joy to you as well, and I hope that my story will be a part of it!

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Mmm, I'm glad you can see it! And also good to hear you have some background knowledge on some parts of Chinese culture, it's more than I can say at least. All I can say about Ella right now is that it's been fun trying to show off different sides of her. And thanks for the kudos, I knew it would be worth bringing her on the plane if I could just give her that one little revelation to give out. It will certainly change things...  
Oh, and I'm glad you enjoyed Sammy's dignified exit - it suited her, and it was amusing to write and read.

And thus, we come to the last two traditional announcements. First, the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next.

Second, the Final Five are as follows:

Boys \- Alejandro, Ezekiel, Tyler

Girls \- Ella, Sugar

And that, dear readers, brings us to the first Shuffled episode of the New Year. Read on, and enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 21 – African Lying Safari**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris opened, the recap montage beginning with a long-distance shot of the cast assembled by the Great Wall of China. "Thaaanks, China, we had a blast," the host said over a shot of Alejandro hitting a landmine on his skateboard and Dawn seeing an explosion in the distance. "Just not the kind associated with _fun_ ," Chris added as Sugar was shown getting blown away by a mine as well, leaving Blaineley in the rickshaw by herself.

"Especially for Sugar," Chris said as the pageant queen was shown arriving late to the second part of the challenge, "who not only had to deal with annoying allies," Blaineley was shown making her announcement over the plane's intercom, "and a missed chance at an _authentic_ Chinese buffet," she slumped over in dismay as Alejandro patted her on the back, then stealthily stole Dawn's uneaten donkey meat, "but also the fact that her arch-enemy Ella won immunity _again_." The princess was shown declaring her victory through song, then puking.

"And since the show is still short on cash-ola," Chris explained over clips of Blaineley's stomach gurgling ominously as her failed attempt at an illegal alliance was exposed, "we had a two-for-one sale on losers!" Blaineley and Dawn were shown receiving their parachutes in shock, then getting shoved off the plane by the host. "One of whom got a _nasty_ little parting gift for her attempted cheating ways," he added as the older woman was shown holding back vomit during her Drop of Shame.

Chef and Chris were snickering to themselves as the recap ended and the scene moved to the cockpit. "We're down to the Final Five!" Chris told the camera. "Who won't make the Final Four, and how will Sugar even make it through breakfast now that her scheming ways have been exposed? Find out right now, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

An ominous tune played as the episode opened, the traditional shot of the plane in flight quickly moving to economy class where Sugar, Alejandro, and Ezekiel were determinedly not looking at one another.

"I can't believe you _lied_ to me, eh," Ezekiel griped. "I really trusted you after what happened with Scott!"

"W-well, hey now, I mighta _fibbed_ a little bit," Sugar defended, "but I was tellin' the truth when I said we should stick together!"

"As _if_ ," Alejandro scoffed. "How could _anybody_ trust you after learning about everything you've done? Even _I_ am shocked at how low you've stooped to deceive everyone."

"But you're just as bad!" Sugar said.

"Yes, but people _expect_ it from me," Alejandro countered. "You, not so much. And despite our previous alliance," he said with a quick wink at Ezekiel, "I would be... _open_ to voting you off, chica. I'd only need to hear the word." Sugar gasped.

Ezekiel snorted in contempt, crossed his arms, and glared. "Yeah, like I'm gonna fall fer _that_ one, eh. I'm not gonna trust _either_ of you, _ever_."

/

The scene flashed to first class, focusing on a glum-looking Ella. She sighed, then raised her head and clasped her hands dramatically. "Oh why, oh why, oh what have I~" she sang mournfully, the shot zooming out as she stood up, struck a pose, then twirled across the aisle. "Done~ to deserrrrve thi~is? I thought, that we were friends, but I was wrong, so now I must ma~ake amends~..."

A change in the perspective showed Tyler watching Ella's impromptu song and dance with a rather bewildered look on his face.

xxx

"I don't really _get_ Ella right now," Tyler confessed. "I thought she'd be mad at Sugar, just like she's mad at Al. But all she's been doing for a while now is talk about how _she_ must've done something wrong if Sugar doesn't like her anymore!" He groaned in exasperation. "Man, I hope she can realize that Sugar's not as nice as she thinks, or we might be in trouble."

xxx

"Uhh, I really don't get why you're trying to make up with _Sugar_ ," the jock said as the scene returned to first class. "She _lied_ to you! This is just like what happened with Alejandro..."

Ella stiffened up. "No, it isn't," she said, almost sharply as she spun around to face Tyler. "What happened with Alejandro was _unique_ , it couldn't _possibly_ happen again! Clearly," she told him with an almost desperate smile, "if I just figure out what I did _wrong_ and make it _right_ , then Sugar will be our friend again and we'll all be happy!" She clasped her hands in eager anticipation, leading Tyler to groan and palm his face.

/

The footage skipped ahead to a shot of an open and sunny savanna, the jumbo jet parked in the background on the left, and a mountain range further beyond it. The landscape was dotted with acacia trees and low shrubs and a few rocks, and a compilation of hissing, hollow notes signified the heat as the camera panned to the right.

Tyler, Ezekiel, Sugar, and Alejandro were all waiting in a line, the boys giving Sugar plenty of room on either side. Ella was nowhere to be seen as of yet, but Chris did soon appear in a red robe, wearing beaded necklaces and bracelets and a bald cap, and holding a spear. The appropriated outfit earned chuckles from all four contestants.

"Nice _dress_ , am I right boys?" Sugar said, looking around at the others for validation but receiving nothing but abrupt glares.

"It's traditional Maasai warrior garb," Chris explained, "and, it came with this!" He grinned as he held up his spear, and with a dramatic spike in the music he threw it towards Sugar – the pageant queen yelped and ducked, the weapon sailing harmlessly over her head.

"Hey, watch it!' she complained.

"Trust me," Chris told her, "that's the least dangerous thing that'll happen to _you_ today. Welcome, to beautiful Tanzania," he said as an African-sounding melody of drums and strings began to play. "Home of the Serengeti plains, and over seventy different kinds of animals that can _kill you_."

"Sorry I'm late!" the voice of Ella called from off-screen, distracting the group as she ran into the shot from the left...wearing an oversized white t-shirt over her usual blouse. "I just wanted to make a few _adjustments_ to my outfit. I hope you like it!"

The camera moved in for a close-up of her shirt, revealing the image on it – a crude drawing of Sugar with a happy grin and her hands on her hips, with the caption 'Best Friend' written in glittery pink.

A flat note played as the shot cut back out to show the rest of the cast's blank stares. "Hey, I can dig it," Chris finally said with an amused smile. "And I'm sure the extra layer will _really_ help out here."

"Why thank you!" Ella smiled sweetly.

"Uhh, Ella, what are you _doing_?" Tyler finally asked, recovering from his shock and walking towards his crush.

"Showing Sugar how much she means to me, of course!" Ella told him happily before leaning to the right and waving at Sugar. The pageant queen looked utterly bewildered, and the boys on either side of her looked rather dumbfounded themselves. "I get that you haven't been very _happy_ with me lately," the singer told her 'friend', "but I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to do whatever it takes to make it up to you."

Sugar stared at her in stunned silence for a second, then finally uttered " _Huh_?"

Alejandro immediately burst out into laughter, and Ezekiel scowled. "Yeah, 'huh' is right," he said. "Why do you wanna be friends with _her_ of all people?"

Ella turned a confused frown towards the homeschooler. "Well why shouldn't I? I won't turn my back on her just because she's _mad_ at me."

Ezekiel looked at her incredulously. "Uhh, I'm pretty sure she's more than just _mad_ , eh."

"Well that doesn't matter," Ella said sternly before walking over to Sugar and smiling. "So just tell me what I did wrong," she told her, "and I'll be happy to fix it. Okay?"

"O...kay?" Sugar said in uncertain bewilderment.

"Excellent!" Chris said, interjecting himself between the two girls. "Now that that's settled, it's _challenge_ time!"

/

A flash took the scene forward to a small clearing, the camera moving in past a few tufts of long grass to show the host and contestants on the left; and Chef dressed as a Maasai warrior, a pile of purple fruit, five gourds of various shapes lined up on pedestals, and a pair of giant wooden heads flanking the whole display on the right.

"Part one combines two of Africa's favorite sports: soccer and cricket." Chris began, holding up a soccer ball and a cricket bat as the camera finished moving in for a close-up. "I call it 'Socc-et To Me'!" he declared dramatically, adding "The 'me' being _you_ , of course."

"Each player must run, one at a time," the host continued as he spun the soccer ball on his finger, "from the starting line to _that_ pile of African safou plums," the camera cut over to the large box of fruit. "Grab as many as you can carry, and run back. And you'll be doing all of this while your fellow competitors pummel you with soccer balls," he added with a smile as he spun his own ball around again.

"Aww man," Tyler groaned, hanging his head in shame, "this is gonna be like soccer tryouts all over again."

"I look forward to it," Alejandro told him with a smirk.

"Next, take the plums you've brought back," Chris continued, "and whack 'em with the cricket bat to smash those gourds open. Like this," he said, tossing a safou high up into the air and smacking it with the bat when it came down. The fruit sailed through the air, and nearly cracked Chef on the head.

"Yo, watch it man!" Chef yelled as he ducked.

"Whoever cracks their gourd open first wins a reward that will be _muy_ helpful in the next challenge," Chris said, ignoring his assistant. "Now, positions people! Ella, you're up first! Kickers, get ready."

/

Another flash, and the other four players were shown in position with several soccer balls at their feet – Ezekiel looking ready and Tyler looking wary; then a side view of a smirking Alejandro and narrow-eyed Sugar.

Ella took a deep breath at the starting line, and got into running position. "It's now or never," she said to herself.

"Ready, steady, Serengeti!" Chris called out as a dramatic score rose up in the back ground, and a blow from his whistle signaled the start of Ella's run.

She took off at a dash, looking comical with her oversized t-shirt still on. The camera zoomed in to show her passing Tyler and Ezekiel in the background, the former tapping the ground awkwardly with his foot while his friend started kicking. The ball sailed over Ella, however, who smiled happily. "Sorry," she called out, "but I'm not going to slow down!"

She reached the plums, but seemed to hesitate a moment as she looked them over. "Which ones to grab, they all look so _good_...," she said to herself. Another ball sailing over her head from the left forced her to take action, however. "Oops! No time to be picky," she said, quickly scooping a load of the fruit into her friendship shirt, then turning and running back.

Alejandro was shown watching her go past in the foreground, then smirked and kicked a ball her way. It hit the princess in the legs, causing her to trip forward, spilling her plums and getting tangled up in her shirt.

"Awesome!" Chris laughed. "Tyler, top that." He blew his whistle, and the footage skipped ahead.

/

Tyler sighed heavily from his runner's start, then went forward with an almost slumped-over posture.

The first ball came from the foreground and hit him in the arm, earning a dull "Oww," as Tyler slogged forward. Another "Oww," came from a second foreground ball, and a third from a ball from the background.

"Sorry, eh!" Ezekiel called from off-screen. "But at least you're doin' good!"

Tyler blinked in confusion, then smiled in revelation as he realized he'd gotten to the safous intact. "Hey, yeah!" he said in excitement, grabbing an armful of plums then turning and promptly tripping over his own legs and landing face-first in the dirt.

"Hah! _Classic_ ," Chris said, wiping a tear from his eye. "Zeke, you're up!" he announced, blowing his whistle again.

/

"Time to bring it!" Ezekiel declared confidently, racing off the starting line and immediately jumping over a ball kicked his way from behind the camera. "Err, or is it _take_ it?" he pondered, stumbling over a second ball and tumbling end-over-end. He managed to recover easily enough, however, and soon was able to grab a load plums.

"Ohh yeah, ain't _nothin_ ' gonna stop me now!" he said, a head-on perspective showing him running back...and getting stopped by a soccer ball upside the head from the right.

"Sugar!" Ella quickly admonished from the left, the camera quick-panning back across the fallen homeschooler to the pageant queen.

"Oops!" she said with an unapologetic grin and shrug. "I guess I missed!"

"Alright slugger, your go!" Chris declared before blowing his whistle yet again.

/

Sugar took off running, and had to duck under a ball almost immediately. "Hey, watch it!" she shot at Ezekiel, on the sidelines with Alejandro and the source of the volley.

"You _don't_ watch it, eh!" Ezekiel countered, launching another soccer ball.

"Good one, amigo," Alejandro told him before kicking a ball of his own.

The shot cut to Sugar as she narrowly dodged the second ball, but then seemed unable to dodge the third...but a ball came from the other side and struck the one Alejandro had kicked, and both fell to the ground harmlessly. "Huh?" the pageant queen said, looking around in confusion.

"Don't worry, Sugar!" Ella called from the sidelines. "I've got your back!"

Tyler, who was standing next to her, palmed his face.

The scene skipped ahead to show Sugar grabbing her plums, then turning around. Ezekiel kicked another ball, only for it to miss; the shot from Ella that had been intended to intercept it also missed its target, though it did come close to hitting Sugar.

"Ooh, sorry!" Ella called out apologetically.

Tyler groaned, then kicked a ball himself, and on the other side Alejandro did as well. The two were shown in split-screen, Tyler's going wide but then bounced back on course by Alejandro's, hitting Sugar in the gut and knocking her over.

"You're welcome for the assist, amigo!" Alejandro called out to Tyler, who looked conflicted.

"And then there was one," Chris announced. "Bring it on, Alejandro!" He blew his whistle.

/

Alejandro's start was strong, and he immediately kicked away the first three balls sent his way. Each one hit one of the other contestants – the first hit Tyler in the stomach, winding him and knocking him to his knees; the second hit Sugar in the side of the head; and the third caught a panicked Ella in the arm.

He managed to bring an armload of safous back across the line without issue.

xxx

"My brother Carlos is a professional soccer player," he explained matter-of-factly in the restroom confessional.

xxx

"Remember," Chris told the cast as the footage cut back to the five lined up at the starting line with their cricket bats, "first person to smash through gets the advantage! Aaaaand _go_!"

A tense challenge tune began to play as Tyler and Ezekiel were shown tossing their first plums into the air and making their first swings; Tyler whiffed completely and groaned in disappointment, but Ezekiel managed to smack his safou on the first go. The camera cut to the gourds, where Chef was trying to dodge the plums that were flying his way and completely missing their intended targets.

"Seriously, why do I gotta be over here anyway?" he yelled back at Chris.

"Hey, _somebody_ has to stay near the gourds in case two get broken at the same time and we have to break a tie," Chris explained with a broad and impish smile.

"Tiebreaker my butt...," Chef grumbled, getting hit in the head with a plum.

"Sorry!" Ella called out apologetically. The camera pulled back to show her standing in the middle of the group, all five still swinging away and, aside from Tyler, hitting at least some of their plums.

The shot cut in closer to Sugar as she wound up and swung, then followed the plum as it shot across the field and struck a gourd on the other side – it was cracked, but not broken. "Man," Sugar said, wiping the sweat from her brow as the shot cut back to her, "I don't know what's harder, the gourds or hittin' these plums!"

"Well _Alejandro_ doesn't seem to be having much trouble," Chris commented as the charmer struck another plum; it, too, sped across the playing field and struck the gourd opposite – deepening an already existing crack.

"It's all in the _wrist_ , I think," Alejandro said idly as he tossed another safou into the air.

"If that's all then I _got_ it, baby! Extreme!" Tyler confidently declared, tossing a safou of his own and twirling the cricket bat with his wrist as he swung. To his surprise they connected, but the plum went up in an arc, and ended up hitting Alejandro in the head and interrupting his swing.

"Hey, I was just about to win!" the skilled villain complained, rubbing where he'd been hit.

"Well too bad," Sugar told him, taking a powerful swing herself; it managed to hit the plum straight through her gourd, finally breaking it. "Now _that's_ how ya do things!" she declared proudly.

"And the winner of our first challenge is, _Sugar_!" Chris announced to a light drumroll and triumphant tune.

"Of course," she said smugly. "You just gotta show the gourd who's boss!"

/

The footage skipped ahead a little, showing Sugar standing on the sidelines with Chris while the other four readied their bats again, "The rest of you have _ten_ seconds left to crack your gourd," the host told them. "And trust me, you _want_ what's inside!"

/

Another flash ahead, and Alejandro was shown swinging his cricket bat and smacking a safou straight through his gourd, finally smashing it. Tyler looked at him, scowled, then spun around and tossed his cricket bat like a hammer; by sheer luck, he managed to smash his own gourd with it.

"Yeah!" he pumped his fist in excitement.

Ezekiel was next, nodding at his friend and throwing his cricket bat as well; it spun end-over-end, and managed to knock the gourd clear off it's pedestal. Luckily, it cracked open when it hit the ground.

Last was Ella, who took a breath and readied a more traditional swing. "Okay, last chance," she said to herself, tossing the safou up and smacking it hard when it came back down. Unfortunately, however, she missed her gourd and hit Chef on the head instead, the hulking man having just decided to straighten back up after crouching to dodge the two thrown bats.

"A hit, but _not_ a gourd," Chris told her. "No success for Ella will make it much harder for her to deal with _this_!"

He pointed dramatically to the side, where a tall crate had just been wheeled in by a white male intern. Whatever was inside the crate seemed angry, growling wolfishly and making the box shake.

"Uhh, should we start running or anything?" Tyler asked as he and Ezekiel gave the crate nervous looks.

"Yes, you _should_ be scared," Chris said, mostly ignoring the comment as he walked over to the crate. "Part two of our challenge is a genuine _African safari_. And the prey?" He knocked on the crate, which shook again as another angry growl came from inside. The contestants gasped. "Why, it's only the most dangerous and _annoying_ animal of all," Chris said dramatically, the intern nervously prying open the crate to reveal a metal cage within, with a familiar shadow inside.

" _Staci_!" Chris finished, the camera zooming in on the wolfish form inside the cage.

"Would somebody get me _out_ of here already?" she growled angrily as she stepped forward and rattled the cage bars. Her clothes were a little shabbier than when they'd last seen her, but otherwise she was still perfectly recognizable as her furry, long-eared, and tailed self.

The cast gasped again. "Wait, didn't you throw her off the plane in Greece?!" Tyler said in alarm.

"I know!" Chris said, looking back at the cage and flinching at the glare Staci was giving him. "She's like a one-woman cockroach infestation. But when a certain _blonde_ whose name rhymes with ' _Blaineley'_ ratted her out," Chris explained as Staci gasped, "Chef went a-hunting and found the freaky werewolf down in the hold."

"Yah, I just _had_ to sleep through Niagara Falls...," Staci muttered bitterly, casually getting down on all fours to scratch behind her ear with her foot.

"I should warn you, though," Chris said from off-screen, "she's _totally_ feral thanks to all that time with the _animals_."

"What?" Staci said, perking up in shock and outrage. "No I'm not!"

Chris huffed. "Just play along, would you?" he told her before turning back to the contestants. "Whoever nabs the beast formerly known as Staci wins invincibility, and! First class seats to our next destination."

"Yeah, yeah, with the player of our choice," Sugar said impatiently. "Now where's that _reward_ ya promised me?"

"In a second!" Chris replied snippily. "Go to your gourds and check inside," he said as the camera pulled back to show Staci trying to reach him from her cage, "they contain what _you'll_ use to hunt with."

"Awesome, a slingshot!" Tyler said in excitement, holding up the child's weapon and practicing pulling it back. "This safari's gonna be _extreme_!" He released the rubber band and it snapped forward, only to hit him on the nose on the way back.

"And what's this little pouch for?" Sugar asked, holding up a small leather belt and pouch. "Some kinda food-pocket?"

"Close," Chris told her before reaching inside her opened gourd and taking out a small, squishy pink ball. "Tranquilizer balls!" he announced with glee. "Sling 'em with enough velocity and they _burst_ on contact, numbing the area and releasing a hearty dose of sleepy-time goodness." He mimed resting his head on a pillow, then turned his attention to the side. "Watch, as _this_ intern demonstrates."

He shot a tranq ball at the intern who had wheeled in the cage, and was now eating a sandwich. The ball struck him in the shoulder and released a small cloud of pink gas, which promptly caused the man's eyes to roll back in his head before he fell over. He landed in front of Staci, who immediately whined and tried to grab the fallen sandwich from his hands.

"See?" Chris said as the shot cut back to the cast. "It's like paintball, only with _naps_! Now, stand back people, we're gonna give the violent werewolf a head start. You're up, Chef!" he called back towards the cage.

Chef was grumbling under his breath as he carefully moved a key towards the cage's lock, and at the host's call of "Release the beast!" he put it in the keyhole, turned it, and scampered away as the door was slammed open and Staci jumped out.

"Finally!" she said in annoyance. "You guys shouldn't, like, lock human beings up in cages, yah."

"Whatever, girly," Chef told her. "Just play along with the challenge, and maybe you'll get somethin' in return."

Staci's long furry ears perked up, and she gave Chef an interested look. "Well...as long as you take me back to Canada I _guess_ I can do it." She looked around, then hustled off into the long grass.

"Okay!" Chris said with his usual grin. "Since Sugar won the first challenge, she gets six tranq balls," he said before handing over a handful of pink pellets to the grinning pageant queen. "Alejandro, you cracked yours open so you get three," he told the charmer, handing over the ammunition as Tyler and Ezekiel looked on. "Tyler and Zeke, two each," the host told the pair.

"What? Why?" Ezekiel asked in confusion.

"Yeah, we cracked our gourds too!" Tyler added.

" _Technically_ the two of you beat your gourds with cricket bats," Chris corrected before turning to the last contestant. "And Ella, since you didn't put a dent in your gourd, you get these," he handed the singer a pair of safety goggles, "and _one_ tranq ball."

"Oh...so no slingshot, then?" Ella asked in disappointment.

"No, you're just gonna have to throw the balls hard enough to make 'em burst," Chris told her. "Which will be _hilariously_ unsuccessful, I'm sure."

"Aaand," he said, the shot pulling back as Chef blew on a large horn, " _go_!"

At the signal, the five teens – all now wearing safety goggles – ran off.

/

The scene flashed forward to a rightward pan across the savanna, Tyler speaking before the camera reached him.

"Okay, since we've only got like five tranq balls between us, maybe we should work together on this one?" he said, eventually being shown traveling with Ella and Ezekiel. "Three of _us_ should make this three times _easier_ , right?"

"I suppose that is a good idea," Ella told him. "But I'd feel better if we teamed up with Sugar, as well. Make it a team of all the _good_ people left in the competition."

"Except Sugar's not _good_ , eh," Ezekiel countered. "Or did you forget about how she lied to us?" He scowled at Ella, causing Tyler standing between them to look nervously from one to the other.

Ella gasped in indignation. "How could you _say_ that? I thought we were all friends, but if that's how you're going to act then I want no part of teaming up with you." She put her hands on her hips and turned her nose up and away from the boys, Tyler biting his nails in rising panic.

"Well I didn't wanna team up with you neither!" Ezekiel countered, mirroring the singer's pose. "In fact, I can do this whole challenge by myself, eh!"

"Whoa, hold on," Tyler said, trying to make a calming gesture.

"Well in that case," Ella replied, "then so can I!"

"Wait, you guys...!" Tyler said, frantically looking between the two as they huffed, then walked away from him.

"...guys?" Tyler repeated pitifully.

/

"What the heck are you followin' me around for?" Sugar asked as the scene flashed to her and Alejandro. "I thought you didn't want nothin' more to do with me!"

"Please, I _know_ a player as crafty as yourself can tell that was all a ruse," Alejandro told her with a sly smile, darting forward to catch up with her, then pulling her into a side-hug. "By making the others more receptive to keeping _me_ around, we can split their votes, and take control of the game again."

"Well _duh_ ," Sugar said, not meeting the charmer's gaze, "that's obvious. But, uh," she quickly pushed him away, "you probably shouldn't stick around me in case the others catch us talkin'."

"Ah, but of course," Alejandro said with a sly grin. "Before I leave, we _are_ voting for Ella tonight, correct?"

"Well _duh_ ," Sugar replied.

Alejandro nodded. "As I thought. In that case, I shall take my leave." He gave her a short bow, then walked away.

The moment he was gone, Sugar looked back, then breathed a sigh of relief.

xxx

"Everything that Al just said sounded like a load of _hogwash_ ," the pageant star told the confessional camera. "But I still need him on my side, so I gotta play along like him an' me are on the same page. I'm pretty sure he was tellin' the truth about wantin' to vote out Ella, at least," she added thoughtfully, "and I _did_ get a couple ideas from talkin' to him."

xxx

"In truth," Alejandro admitted in the next confessional, "I don't intend to stay on Sugar's side for much longer. She's already proven herself to be a threat, so once her vote is no longer useful to me I will get rid of her. Hopefully not _this_ time, but with _these_ ," he revealed six tranq balls in his hand, "I can at least be sure that Sugar will be available for elimination tonight should the need arise."

xxx

A dramatic tune played as the scene moved to a low-to-the-ground shot of a rustling bush. Ella walked in from the left, and cautiously raised her solitary piece of ammunition. "Staci?" she called out hesitantly. "Is that you in there?"

She was answered by a low roar, and a yellowish paw stepped out from the bush.

"Oh my," she said nervously as a male lion stepped out, "why...hello there, Mr. Lion! It's very nice-"

The lion interrupted with a roar, causing Ella to shriek and throw the tranq ball at it; the big cat merely ducked, then watched curiously as the ball exploded into a puff of gas behind it. The lion looked back at its failed assailant, and roared again.

Ella screamed melodically and fled, and it looked like the lion was going to give chase before the sudden appearance of Chris McLean in the foreground distracted it.

"Who will survive?" he asked the camera. "King of the Jungle, or _Queen_ of the _Fumble_?" he pointed first at the lion, then over his shoulder in the direction Ella had run off. "Find out right after this, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

The lion roared at him, and he turned and fled screaming as well.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

As a trilling tune signaled the heat of midday, the camera panned down from the sun and on to Tyler and Ezekiel as they stalked through the savanna.

"Dude, come on, we gotta stick together on this," Tyler told his friend as the homeschooler trudged ahead. "I know you're mad, but you just gotta give Ella more time to figure things out." This got Ezekiel to stop walking. "I think she's still hurting from the whole _Alejandro_ thing, I bet she probably can't accept someone else betraying her right now."

"And what about _me_ , eh?" Ezekiel asked, spinning around to face his friend. "I got betrayed two times this season too, y'know, and I think _I'm_ accepting it just fine."

"Yeah, but like," Tyler said, rubbing the back of his next awkwardly as he tried to find the words, "you're you and Ella's Ella. You're, like... _different_ , you know?"

Ezekiel snorted. "Yeah, that's fer sure. You sure got weird taste in girls if the one you like would rather pay attention to someone who hates her than the guy who's been in love with her all this time, eh."

Tyler sighed. "Don't remind me..."

/

"Hmm, now if _I_ were that distressed little perrita, where would I hide?" Alejandro mused to himself as he stalked through the savanna, keeping crouched with his slingshot at the ready. He turned around and backed into a bush, only to hit something almost immediately – he slowly turned around to look, and his eyes went wide and the camera zoomed out as he realized he'd just bumped into a rhino's butt.

The camera panned to the animal's head as it looked backwards and snorted, and the focus returned to Alejandro as he cautiously backed away. "Nice rhino," he said in a soothing voice, hands raised in a calming gesture. "I didn't see you, so I'll be out of your way in just a moment." The rhino snorted at him again, and began to turn his way. "But just for a little insurance, how about a nice little nap?" Alejandro said softly and quickly, raising his slingshot again and firing off a tranq ball.

It hit the rhino square between the eyes. The animal snorted angrily and the music became tense for a moment, but faded into something lilting as the pink gas took effect and the rhino fell over on its side, fast asleep.

Alejandro wiped his brow in relief. "It's a good thing I stole all of Sugar's tranq balls," he said to himself.

/

"Oh _Staci_ ," the pageant queen called out as the scene flashed back to her, "come out come out wherever you are!" She paused where she was for a second, then huffed. "Where the heck is that girl when you want her?"

Her reply came in the form of a musical scream, and Ella was shown running her way with her eyes shut in fear.

"I didn't mean _her_!" Sugar grumbled at the sky before reaching out and grabbing Ella by her oversized t-shirt as she ran by. "Would you quit it already?" she barked at the girl.

Ella promptly stopped screaming and opened her eyes. "Sugar! I'm so glad to see you!" she said with a frantic smile. "There was this lion, and I tried to throw my tranq ball at it but I missed, and now it's chasing me!"

Sugar gave her an unimpressed look, then looked up and behind in the direction Ella had come from.

The savanna was devoid of lions in that direction, as far as the camera could see.

"What lion?" Sugar asked incredulously, causing Ella to blankly look back as well.

"Oh," she said after seeing nothing.

/

"The worst part of this is that if Ella's tryin' to get on Sugar's good side," Ezekiel said as the scene moved back to him and Tyler, "then we'll probably be in trouble on account of her not wantin' to vote with us."

"Err, we could always just vote out Alejandro," Tyler said.

"But what if he gets invincibility, eh?" Ezekiel asked. "Then even if we vote fer Sugar, Ella might not want to."

"Oh yeah...," Tyler said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "But in that case, I think it'll still work out if we just ask Al to vote for _Sugar_ with us."

Ezekiel scoffed. "Yeah, easy fer you to say since Ella wouldn't be votin' fer _you_."

"Oh, right," the jock said glumly. "In that case, I guess we just gotta hope Al doesn't win the challenge before I can get through to her."

"Yup," Ezekiel said curtly before hearing a rustling nearby and putting his arm out to stop his friend. "Shh, I think Staci might be over there," he whispered, the perspective shifting to show the large bush he was pointing at.

"Whoa, really?" Tyler said, louder than necessary as he grabbed for his slingshot and ammo. "Where?"

It was then that the source of the rustling revealed itself by standing up, and surprisingly enough it was actually Staci. She immediately noticed the two boys, narrowed her eyes, and said "Oh, it's _you_."

"Get her!" Ezekiel called out, shooting off a tranq ball that was easily dodged.

"Yah, just because I don't wanna be here doesn't mean I'm gonna let you catch me!" Staci spat at the two before turning and running off, Ezekiel and Tyler giving chase as dramatic music played.

/

"So, umm," Ella said as the shot cut back to her following after Sugar as the pageant queen roamed around looking for Staci, "I'm not _entirely_ sure what I've done to make you hate me, but like I've been saying if there's anything I can do to make up for it, please just let me know."

Sugar stopped, looked back, and raised an eyebrow at her in disbelief.

xxx

"Is this girl fer real?" she asked the confessional camera. "She's either _really_ in to the whole 'nice' act or she's dumber than I thought!"

She paused a moment then shrugged. "Oh well, either way!"

xxx

"Well, uh," Sugar told the girl, moving her eyes around as she thought, "the reason I don't like you is 'cause of how you've been payin' more attention to the boys than me since we swapped teams. I just don't feel like I can count on you anymore. But, uh, if you wanna prove that yer on my side, then, uh, how about you just vote how I tell you to tonight?"

Ella blinked, then took a breath. "Okay," she said as a large patch of tall grass in the background rustled. "If that's what you want, then I'll do it. May I ask who you have in mind?"

Sugar tapped her chin in an exaggerated manner as though in thought, then grinned. "Actually, I got just the person! Though remember, this is _just_ to prove yer loyalty, I don't actually want him _gone_ or nothin'." Ella nodded nervously, then leaned in expectantly.

The camera zoomed to the patch of rustling grass as it parted just enough for Alejandro to peak through. He immediately raised his brow in shock at something, which was followed by Ella gasping in surprise. Alejandro smirked, then quickly ducked back into hiding.

xxx

"Well well well," he told the confessional camera, "so _that's_ Sugar's game right now. Distracting Ella with a test of loyalty to break up the other three votes? I do believe I can work with that," he said with a devilish smile, steepling his fingers together.

xxx

"Now shush up and don't tell _anyone_ about this, y'hear?" Sugar hissed at Ella, putting a finger to her lips. The princess nodded, and so did Sugar. "Now come on, I think I got a challenge to win..."

She motioned towards the same tuft of grass that unbeknownst to them Alejandro had been hiding in, and as the two girls crept forward she reached into her belt pouch to grab...nothing.

"Huh?" Sugar grunted, looking down in shock. "Where'd my tranq balls go?" She huffed, then cracked her knuckles. "Guess there's nothin' to do but try to catch her the old _fashioned_ way then," she said before dashing towards the grass, an uncertain Ella in pursuit.

A few deep notes played as the camera panned up and to the right at a moderate pace, passing over the tall patch of grass that Alejandro was trying to find his way out of, and showing Tyler and Ezekiel sneaking up on the other side. The two boys shushed each other, then readied a tranq ball each and charged into the grass.

The shot cut to Alejandro just then, his brow shooting up in alarm as he heard the sounds approaching him from either side. He quickly stood up with a tranq ball of his own at the ready, and was promptly tackled clear out of the bush by an unwitting Sugar, causing him to shoot his readied ammunition straight upwards.

Moments later Tyler and Ezekiel stumbled onto the scene through the grass, shouting a battlecry and blindly shooting the two villains. They only opened their eyes to look at what they'd shot just in time for Tyler to run head-first into a shrieking Ella charging in from the opposite side, and for Ezekiel to bump into Tyler's back, and for the tranq ball that Alejandro had shot to finally come back down, hitting Tyler but catching all three in the cloud of gas.

All five contestants were now unconscious on the ground in a heap.

The music note icon promptly appeared in the top-left corner of the screen, accompanied by its usual ding.

"Iiiiiit's _song time_!" Chris announced from off-screen, the camera panning right to show him and Chef in a jeep a couple yards away. "Hello?"

/

The scene cut to black, the host's shrill yell of "Hey!" piercing through and seemingly causing the eye of the 'camera' to open up. Chris looked down at in in annoyance, and leaned towards it to ask "Anyone in there?"

The perspective changed back to its usual side-angle to show the host bending over Ezekiel, prying the homeschooler's left eye open. "What do you do when a pretty girl asks you out?" he asked forcefully.

"I dunno, eh!" Ezekiel replied, waking up in a panic. "Probably panic!"

The camera zoomed out to show the rest of the cast, now separated from their pile. "Half an hour of you guys _sleeping_?!" the host told them in angry disbelief. "Oh yeah, that's gonna be _great_ for ratings. I want a song, _pron-to_!" he demanded. "No matter _where_ the tranq balls hit you, or how ' _groggy_ ' you might be. Now, SING!"

He sidestepped in a huff as a drumline began.

~/~

[The almost dream-like, twangy sounds of an ilimba joined the fast-paced drum beats as Ella stirred from where she lay, looking around woozily and starting the song almost as though on instinct.]

" _So here I am, but why are we...? Why are things so unclear? I wish I knew; the balls? The bush? Just what am I doing here_?"

[She propped herself up on her side as she sang, rubbing her temple and looking around some more at the other fallen cast members and the patch of long grass behind them.]

" _Don't gotta ask me once or twice_ ;"

[Sugar responded in a modified tune, the camera panning left to show her sitting up and looking annoyed as she rubbed her legs.]

" _I don't need to run, but standing would be ni~ice~_ "

[The pageant queen added as she tried to stand up, wobbled, and collapsed back down on her knees. She paused for a few beats, then continued with the same melody as Ella's initial line.]

" _The last thing that I re-mem-ber is seein' Al around... The boys must be, the reason why, we all are on the ground_."

[She, too, looked around at the others as she sang, and the camera quickly honed in on Alejandro, sprawled out in the middle of the group.]

" _Hey don't blame me, it's not my fault_ ;"

[Alejandro countered, lifting his head and mimicking the tune of Sugar's earlier response.]

" _It was the rest of you, and your sud-den assa~aults_!"

[He clumsily lifted his arm as he sang towards the two girls, then paused to try and push himself up but fail. He continued the song, but adopted a slightly different melody to the previous two 'call' sections.]

" _But then again, I can't pretend that I don't know what you're saying! I will not lie, I can't deny, how I affect your playing_."

[His line was soulful, and he managed to regain enough control of his body to sit up for the duration.]

" _Don't act like yer the only one, that's changed this game, 'cause so has everyo~one_!"

[Ezekiel replied sharply after flopping over onto his back next to the charmer, massaging his left hand during the pause between lines.]

" _I've lost so much; my shots, my friends; I don't know what to do._ "

[He sang, forcing himself to sit up just enough to hold up his slingshot, then look over at Sugar.]

" _But though I don't, know where I am, I'm gonna see this through_."

[Determination filled his expression as he dramatically stood up, only to immediately fall over backwards with a muffled crash.]

" _I wish that I could say that too;_ "

[Tyler told him as he dragged himself over with only his fingers.]

" _But here I am, and I'm feelin' kinda blu~ue_!"

["Wait, or should it be _pink_?" he asked himself, scratching his head in confusion before shaking it away and continuing the song.]

" _I'm feeling lost, and not just 'cause, were-Staci's outta sight_ ;"

[He managed to prop himself up on one hand as he sang, and used his other to shield his eyes as he scanned around for the designated prey.]

" _How can I say, I've made my mark, when nothing feels right_?"

[He hung his head sadly as he finished his line, the camera rotating behind him to show Ella watching him with an anxious and uncertain expression.]

" _I hope that we can find our cheer_ ;"

[Ella sang out to the jock, the music temporarily softening as the camera cut from her to a smiling Tyler.]

" _Because like you I, don't know what I'm doing he~ere_!"

" _Soon all of our paths will clear, and we will know, what we are doing here_!"

[The camera zoomed out to show all five contestants as they sang together, Ella and Sugar on the left; Alejandro and Ezekiel in the middle; and Tyler on the right. The five teens all raised an arm skyward, and slowly stood up as they held the last note.]

~/~

The shot immediately cut over to Chris and Chef as a deep note restarted the more traditional background music. "Somebody better catch Staci _fast_ 'cause the plane is taking off in exactly one hour," he irritably told the cast, pointing to his watch as they looked on in stunned silence, "with or _without_ you."

Chris huffed, then turned to Chef. "So, you wanna watch the tranq ball massacre on the widescreen?" he asked.

"Sure thing, man," Chef nodded. He pressed down on the gas pedal and sped off, but as Chris had been standing he quickly fell off the jeep.

"Hey!" he called out, angrily shaking his fist. "Get back here! AND STAY AWAY FROM MY HOT TUB!" he yelled as he ran off after his assistant.

"That reminds me," Sugar said, stuffing her hand in her tranq ball pouch as the camera panned back to the cast, "how the heck am I supposed to win without any ammo?"

"Out already?" Alejandro asked with a taunting smirk.

" _No_ ," Sugar scowled, "I ain't shot a single one yet, because I can't _find 'em_!"

"A likely story," Alejandro said before turning around and walking away. He passed by the other two boys, Tyler ignoring him but Ezekiel raising an eyebrow at his smirk as he passed by.

"Sorry, Sugar," Ella told the pageant queen. "I'd give you some of mine, but I already used my only one." Sugar turned an annoyed look Ella's way, prompting her to grab the pageant star by the hand and lead her away. "Oh, but I'll help you look for them! They must be around here _somewhere_..." Sugar rolled her eyes as Ella let go and started dramatically looking around.

The camera panned to Tyler, sighing and slumping his shoulder.

xxx

"And there she goes again, helping _Sugar_ ," Tyler lamented, "even though after everything they've been through Sugar's never really liked her!" He shook his head in disappointment. "Why doesn't Ella get that no matter how nice she is, it won't make a difference?"

He paused for a second, staring blankly at the camera. Then, suddenly, he groaned and palmed his face. "And why don't _I_ get that no matter how much I try to do for _Ella_ , she just isn't gonna feel the same way about me that I do about her? I mean, I know she _likes_ me, but I guess it's pretty clear by now that she doesn't _like_ like me." He hung his head and sighed. "Man, this really _bites_."

xxx

A few deep notes played as the scene cut back to a moping Tyler as Ezekiel tapped him on the shoulder. "Yo, can I have yer last tranq ball? I got an idea, eh."

Still half distracted, Tyler just grunted and nodded and pulled his last piece of ammunition from his belt pouch.

"Thanks, guy!" Ezekiel told him with a grin before zipping off in the direction Alejandro had went.

/

The footage skipped ahead to show the charming villain crouching behind another long tuft of grass and looking around carefully. Ezekiel came up behind him from the left, and Alejandro immediately turned and shushed the other guy.

"Sorry, eh," Ezekiel whispered. "I just wanted to know if you knew where Sugar's balls went? 'Cause you looked like-"

Alejandro immediately silenced him with a hand over his mouth, then poked his head up above the grass and looked around. When he'd confirmed there was nobody else nearby, he crouched back down and smirked cockily at Ezekiel.

"Quite perceptive, my friend," he said. "As it so happens, I _stole_ them when I ran into Sugar a while ago. I figure if she doesn't have any ammo, then she can't win invincibility," he said, giving Ezekiel a knowing look.

"So we can vote her off, no problem!" Ezekiel finished, smiling in dawning comprehension.

" _Exactly_ ," Alejando said. "Now be quiet so I can find Staci and _end_ this challenge," he added, turning his back on the homeschooler to look over and through the grass again.

"Err, actually," Ezekiel spoke up, "I was thinkin' that maybe me or Tyler could have those balls you stole, eh."

"What?" Alejandro said in surprise, turning his head back around. "Don't be ridicu-"

He stopped upon seeing Ezekiel pointing his slingshot at him, the borrowed ammunition fired before Alejandro could react. "Sorry, eh," Ezekiel said with his arm covering his mouth while the pink gas dispersed. "But only a little," he added as he walked up to the now-unconscious Alejandro.

/

The footage flashed ahead again, showing Tyler half-standing, half-hanging, and just a little bit scraped in an acacia tree looking quite monkey-like as he scanned the surrounding area.

"Hey!" the voice of Ezekiel called, turning the jock's attention back to the ground and the camera's with it.

"Hey!" Tyler replied, following quickly with "What happened to him?" as he noticed his friend dragging Alejandro across the ground by the armpits, bringing him to the base of the tree. Tyler promptly fell face-first out of the branches as Ezekiel propped the third young man against the acacia's trunk.

"Check it, eh," Ezekiel told his friend with a confident smile, first giving his friend a hand up and then pulling seven tranq balls from his pocket. "Al stole 'em from Sugar, so I stole 'em from him."

"Uhh," Tyler said uncertainly as his friend dropped four of the balls into his hand, "isn't that, like, against the rules?"

"I don't think so," Ezekiel said idly, pocketing the remaining three, "or Chris woulda said something. Besides, I don't think it's a good idea to let Alejandro win, eh."

"Good point," Tyler said. "But we still need to find Staci, and all I was able to see from the tree was Ella standing around looking kinda scared, and Sugar throwing rocks at something."

The two boys looked at one another, then as one said " _Staci_!"

/

A deep and hectic tune played as the scene flashed forward yet again, this time showing Tyler and Ezekiel as they ran up to the girls.

"What's going on?" Tyler asked, looking at Ella. "Where's Staci?"

"Staci?" Sugar replied, turning around to show her look of annoyed confusion. "What are you on about, Staci ain't here!"

Tyler and Ezekiel turned blank looks back to Ella, who nodded. "Sorry, but actually it's a bunch of _monkeys_ that are attacking us, though I don't know why."

"It's 'cause of yer dang _singin_ ', that's why!" Sugar snapped at her, quickly throwing a rock at a rustling in the grass, causing it to stop.

"Are you sure?" Ella asked uncertainly, looking only at Sugar as several more rustling patches appeared in the grass around them and the boys readied their slingshots. "Most monkeys _love_ my singing!"

"Err, technically," Ezekiel spoke up nervously as he backed towards the others, "these are _baboons_ , eh, although-"

He trailed off as the perspective flipped, showing a three-strong troop of growling baboons approaching the group, with more poking their heads out through the grass around the area.

"I don't think they care," Tyler mentioned, also looking nervous.

Sugar turned their way, put her hands on her hips, and scowled. "Are you two just gonna stand there, or are you gonna _shoot 'em_?" she told the boys.

The boys did so, and managed to knock out the three baboons that were closest with only two shots. Tyler quickly fumbled for another one in his pouch, but the music suddenly became tenser as a veritable horde of baboons came out into the open.

"Run!" Ella yelled, turning to flee with Sugar and Ezekiel right behind her. Tyler followed as well, but not before dropping the tranq ball he'd been trying to shoot.

The tense music turned ominous as the shot zoomed in on the unused piece of ammunition, and a baboon picked it up and grinned toothily.

/

The music abruptly became calm as the scene moved to Staci of all people, panting heavily as she walked through the savanna. "Okay, it's _way_ too hot out," she said aloud, "so, like, I'm totally fine with it now if anybody wants to tranquilize me. Even _Tyler_!"

She paused a moment, and looked around. "Wow, I hope they didn't leave me here," she said before perking up at something off-screen. She eagerly ran towards it, the camera following to show it being Alejandro still lying unconscious beneath the acacia he'd been left at. "Well, if _Alejandro's_ still here," Staci said to herself as a sort of rumbling noise started to rise up in the background, "then that must mean-"

She cut herself off upon finally noticing the sounds of running and screaming that were approaching her, the shot cutting over to show Ella, Sugar, Ezekiel, and Tyler as the source – running straight towards the tree, with no baboons in sight.

"Oh, there you guys are," Staci said neutrally as the four reached the tree and skidded to a stop upon seeing their quarry. "Yah, can we get this over with already?"

"Yeah, good idea," Ezekiel said as he and Tyler frantically tried to get their next tranq balls ready while the girls kept watch, Ella holding on to Tyler as she did so.

A split-screen close-up was shown of each boy's slingshot as the tranq balls were loaded and drawn back, and the screens slid away to show Staci, eyes closed and bracing herself to be hit.

The shot came down from the upper-left, and immediately knocked Staci into a deep sleep next to Alejandro. The usual triumphant victory music began to play as the camera zoomed out...but fizzled out abruptly as both Tyler and Ezekiel were shown to have not fired their shots.

"Huh?" the four conscious teens said together before a hooting snicker drew their attention to the tree branches where a baboon was laughing at them. With one last hoot and a snort it jumped away, leaving the stunned contestants under the tree.

"Okay, challenge over!" Chris announced as he and Chef returned in the jeep and the background music became plodding and curious.

"Uh, but who won?" Tyler asked in confusion.

" _Nobody_!" Chris answered with a smile. "Since it was the _monkey_ who knocked out Staci, none of the five of you win invincibility _or_ first class." The four still conscious groaned in disappointment. "Now quick, grab Alejandro and let's get the _heck_ out of Africa before Staci wakes up!"

/

The footage skipped ahead one more time to the Total Drama Jumbo Jet as it took off from the Serengeti plains. A few dramatic notes played as the camera zoomed in to the top of the fuselage between the wings, Staci pulling herself up with her claws. "Just take me back to _Canada_ , okay!" she shouted in unheard frustration as she pried off a panel and crawled in though the opening...

/

A flash took the scene to the elimination chamber, where Chris was standing in the middle of the room with all five contestants. "Mmm, tension-y!" he taunted, holding out the stack of passports. "Alrighty then, one vote for _Ella_..."

"What?" the singer said in shock.

"One for _Ezekiel_ , one for _Sugar_ , one for _Alejandro_...," the host continued as the music's tension grew.

The camera briefly showed Ella's sheepish glance downward before panning to Tyler and Ezekiel. "Alright, dude, looks like Al's _finally_ going home!" Tyler whispered to his friend in excitement.

"What?" Ezekiel asked with growing dread. "We were supposed to vote out _Sugar_!"

"Dude, then why did you knock out Al?" Tyler replied, wide-eyed and increasingly frantic. "I thought it was so we could vote him off!"

"No, it was so he'd have to vote fer Sugar to save his butt, eh!" Ezekiel explained. "Oh man, I thought you knew!" he added, gripping the sides of his toque in anxious anticipation.

"And, the lucky _loser_ is...," Chris finally said, reading the last passport with a devilish smirk. As he paused for further effect the camera quickly passed over the faces of the five contestants; all looking distinctly worried save for Alejandro's lone and knowing smirk.

" _Ezekiel_."

The music cut out, and a cry of "What?!" came from three mouths with varying degrees of shock, anger, and despair – Ella, Sugar, and Ezekiel himself.

"You were supposed to vote fer _Ella_ with me!" Sugar angrily hissed at Alejandro, who merely shrugged in amusement before looking at Ella, who was agape at what she'd just heard. She looked down at the shirt she was still wearing, oversized and with a crude drawing of Sugar on the front.

She quickly pulled it off, then dashed over to Ezekiel and hugged him, tears streaming down her face. "Oh God Ezekiel, I'm so sorry!" she sobbed at the shell-shocked homeschooler as the sombre elimination music began to play. "You were right, I _never_ should have tried to regain Sugar's trust. I, I should have seen her for what she truly was, and voted for _her_ or _Alejandro_..."

Ezekiel seemed to come to his senses just then, and narrowed his eyes. "So...you were the one who voted fer me?" he asked quietly.

Ella sniffed and broke the hug, wiping her tears on her sleeve. "Yes, and I'm _so_ sorry..."

"Yeah, well, it's too late fer _that_ , eh," Ezekiel told her bitterly, stepping away and towards the open door.

"Zeke...dude...," Tyler said, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder. "This is all my fault...if only I'd made sure who we were voting for, you'd at least have a chance in a tiebreaker."

"I doubt it, eh," Ezekiel said. "And anyways it's neither of our fault I'm goin' home, _we_ didn't vote fer me." He looked angrily over at Ella, who was hanging her head in shame, and Alejandro, who was smiling smugly.

"Yeah, can we move this along?" Chris interrupted, thrusting a parachute pack into Ezekiel's hand and steering him towards the open door.

"You better win this, eh!" Ezekiel called back to Tyler, then hollering in shock as the host shoved him out into the open air.

" _Finally_ ," Chris muttered, slamming the door and walking back across the room. The camera followed him up until it reached the cast, Tyler and Ella still looking distraught while Sugar fumed and Alejandro smirked.

xxx

Alejandro opened his confessional with a sigh. "Even now, I think a part of me still feels _guilty_ about breaking Ella even more. Buuut," he smirked, "it's worth it. _She's_ more distraught than ever, Tyler will be _lost_ without Ezekiel around, and I have Sugar _right_ where I want her."

xxx

"I can't _believe_ that Alejandro!" Sugar yelled, slamming her fist down hard on the counter before crossing her arms and fuming. "I was _finally_ gonna be rid of Ella, but he just _had_ to mess it up. Oh, he is _so_ gonna regret this."

Without warning, the confessional door swung open and Chris leaned in. "Things are getting _cra-zy_!" he told the camera with an excited grin, the series' capstone theme playing in the background. "Fourteen down and only four remain," he continued as Sugar put her hands on her hips and glared, "who will _almost_ die next? Find out right here, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

He lingered in the confessional as the music ended, and finally noticed Sugar's glare. "Whaaaat?"

Sugar shoved him out of the room with one hand.

(Fade to Black)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The clip faded in to a distance shot of Ezekiel in silent freefall, and hung there for a few seconds before cutting in closer.

"I can't believe it, eh," Ezekiel said. "I thought, even after everything that happened, even after havin' two people I thought were good friends stab me in the back, that I was still gonna come out on top this season. Guess I was wrong..."

He fell silent for several more seconds before speaking up again. "I dunno if this is hindsight bein', err, 20-20 I think, or if it's just my life flashin' before my eyes, but I'm seein' a whole lotta things I regret doin' right now. Trustin' _Scott_...trustin' _Sugar_...votin' fer, like, half the people I did..."

He trailed off, then opened his parachute. He drifted down silently, eventually landing in an acacia tree...right above a troop of aggressively grinning baboons. He gulped.

"But right now," he told the camera, "I mostly regret not tryin' to stow away on the plane like Staci did before, eh."

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

[This is pretty important, so I hope that everyone reads it.]

This was easily one of the eliminations that I've had the most internal debates about in a long while. This is because despite there being only five people left, I could see several different ending routes for these last few episodes, nearly all of which I felt were 'good' for one reason or another. How could I make a decision when nearly everything could work out great?

It ultimately came down to a choice between Ezekiel and Tyler. I did also consider Alejandro, but since 'Condor' is one of my favorite songs of this season I wanted to keep Alejandro around so I could actually make a shuffled version of it. But anyways, Ezekiel and Tyler - choosing who went home here would determine the dynamic of the Final Four, and each would give a couple different routes with who got eliminated in Drumheller, who got third place in Hawaii, and who the two finalists would be, none of which I've finalized yet - it really is still just about anyone's game.

Had I chosen to eliminate Tyler over Ezekiel, it would have not only allowed me to debunk the unwritten 'World Tour newbies make the Final Four' thing that I know some of you were hoping for, and would have a Final Four where nobody is really no good terms with anyone anymore, since naturally Ezekiel would be pissed that Ella had a hand in his buddy's elimination. But unfortunately...that ended up being the sticking point for me.

See, with the Final Five as they were I needed some way to justify it not being Alejandro or Sugar who got voted out. I briefly considered having someone accidentally cast the wrong vote, perhaps after having gotten some kind of injury or tranq-ball-related accident, but that felt like too much of a cop out. Instead, I took inspiration from the canon episode and tried to figure out if a 2-1-1-1 split was possible (though it should not have been in canon, since Alejandro had invincibility and yet still received either Sierra or Duncan's vote).

For my split, I quickly decided that Sugar voting for Ella would be one of the 1s, as it would allow her to be pissed that Ella had not been eliminated. And then after that I decided that Ella herself would be basically in denial about Sugar's betrayal, and as such would allow herself to be fooled by Sugar into voting for either Ezekiel or Tyler - and Alejandro would overhear their conversation, and would gladly pile on his vote as well. But while i feel I could have made it work for either of those choices, I felt it would feel more natural for Ella to vote for Ezekiel, because although it ultimately wouldn't matter she'd still feel bad about voting for the boy who's said he loves her over the boy she recently had an argument with. As such, I decided it had to be Ezekiel who went home this time.

Though that's not to say there weren't any complications with this plan. Since Ezekiel couldn't win, and I didn't want Ella and Tyler in first class for a third time in a row, that would normally mean that either Sugar or Alejandro would have to win. But then that would force Ezekiel and Tyler to vote for the same person, causing a tie and thus a tiebreaker - which I wanted to avoid. In the end, I came up with what I feel is a fairly amusing way to avoid that situation - by having a baboon be the one to knock out Staci, thus stealing the win from the actual competitors and allowing a tragic miscommunication between Tyler (who assumed that he, Ella, and Zeke would vote for Alejandro) and Ezekiel (who assumed he, Tyler, and Alejandro would vote for Sugar).

So...yeah, that's pretty much the story of how and why I decided to eliminate Ezekiel. Hopefully even those of you who are disappointed by it will at least understand my reasoning. I think it's symbolic, in a way; just like how in canon Tanzania was where Ezekiel was revealed to have basically lost his humanity, in the Shuffledverse Tanzania is where Ezekiel lost his chance in the game. The place is just not good for the guy.

The last two things I want to mention are that the name of this week's song is 'What Am I Doing Here?'; it has a different melody than 'Wake Up' from canon, and is more existential, but while I'm still a little embarrassed by my first original song in several episodes I think it's pretty decent, at least.

And second...well, as you saw, Staci isn't feral. Still looking wolfish, yes, but she still has her mind - and I intend for it to stay this way. This may affect some things down the line, ad you can imagine.

That's all for now, so I hope i managed to give 2016 a proper start. See you next week, and Happy New Year!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (18th Place)

Lightning - (17th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (16th Place)

Geoff - (15th Place)

Scott - (14th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (13th Place)

Sierra - (12th Place)

DJ - (11th Place)

Shawn - (10th Place)

Staci - (9th Place)

Sammy - (8th Place)

Blaineley - (Tied for 7th Place)

Dawn - (Tied for 7th Place)

Ezekiel - (5th Place)


	22. Chapter 22 - Rapa Phooey!

**Author's Note**

Here we are once again dear readers, drawing ever closer to the finale! Next week will mark the end of the fourth quarter of the season's bulk, setting up for the final Aftermath and final two episodes. Episode 23 is...mostly finished, though since I still have the entire musical bit to get through I'll admit to being a bit nervous about being able to finish everything on Saturday.

But, as always, it will work out. For now, let's get to this week's reviews!

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Thanks! Always nice to hear someone rooting for a contestant so much.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you, as always. I hope you enjoy the rest of the season.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Hey, glad you liked it more than the canon episode. And yeah, even I've felt that there are several ways this finale can turn out. Hopefully what I end up going with will be good.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Glad I was able to keep things tense for you! And yeah, you're not the only one who was hoping for Ezekiel to go a little bit further - it was a tough decision to eliminate him.

 **DSX62415:** Looks like I accomplished some major goals, then - I avoided anyone going feral, and Ezekiel is still better off than canon. I hope you enjoy these last few episodes.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Haha, I'm glad you like it so much! The last line of the bonus clip especially, I wasn't sure how well that would go over. Also super glad you enjoyed the song since I wasn't really certain about it, though I say that about all my original musical numbers. Interesting elimination predictions as always, but I won't spoil what happens next.

 **Animation Adventures:** Yup, Zeke really did well this season, even more so than I expected despite having an inkling of an idea about him lasting this long pretty early on. I'm happy you enjoyed the flow of the challenge too, I made it a point to keep track of everyone's tranq balls so everything would be straight and there would be a reason for the bulk of them to keep changing hands. And yeah, you're absolutely right about me basically dropping the ball on Ella and Sugar's relationship - I should have shown it more, both in terms of Ella being friendly and Sugar hating/resenting in return. Unfortunately, I ended up paying more attention to their other relationships, in part because the idea of Sugar convincing Ella to vote for someone after Sugar's true colors were revealed hadn't occurred to me until later in the season. And as for what will become of Tyler and Ella in this season, and Staci in future seasons...I'm afraid you'll just have to wait and find out.

 **Guest:** Yeah, I kinda feel bad too - as I tried to explain, it was a tough calling choosing to eliminate him in last week's episode. But I am glad I did so well with him, and I'm glad I made him one of your favorites in the story.

 **ljninja:** Well, all I can say is that I'm glad you liked the chapter, and that I hope you enjoyed what's left of the season.

 **bruno14:** Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy this week's episode.

 **FOWLKON:** Glad you enjoyed Condor! It's one of my favorite canon songs too. Glad to know you're looking forward to that bit in Drumheller as well...

 **P. T. Piranha:** I see, I see. I wouldn't call it a mercy elimination myself, but I can kinda see why you would. And yeah, things right now are pretty strategy-heavy, even moreso than the canon season I'd say. Canon was basically just one big power struggle between Heather and Alejandro from start to finish, where in this season we have Alejandro, Sugar, formerly Scott, and of course those who have been generally opposed to all villainous parties at one point or another. But like you said, it makes readers pay attention so they can follow what's going on with the vote which is a plus.

 **kaijudude1000:** Haha, thanks for such a high rating. Looks like I've successfully made Sugar into a good villain this season.

 **Knifez:** Thanks, glad to hear you were surprised and that you enjoyed how the challenge ended up. Regarding Tyler not being a target, I definitely agree that at the very least Alejandro would prefer him gone over Ezekiel for exactly the reason you listed - without Tyler to bridge the gap between them, Ella and Ezekiel would struggle to work together - and I did consider including a confessional to that effect, but ended up not finding room for it since I wanted to keep the suspense about who Sugar had asked Ella to vote for...which also allowed me to dither a bit on making the decision myself, which ended up just being what made the most sense to me. As for Sugar's vote, I felt it was high time she actually tried to get Ella out again, even if it wasn't strictly the most strategic option - she's not meant to be 100% logical all the time, after all. Which would then mean that Alejandro would have to vote for someone other than Tyler, as he would never knowingly waste his vote. And between Ella, Zeke, and either himself or Sugar, Ezekiel was the best option.  
COME to think of it I can at least imagine a sequence where Sugar suggested Ella vote Tyler, but Ella tries to argue for voting Alejandro or Ezekiel instead, but Sugar says that voting Tyler would better show that Ella means it because Ella has legitimate reasons to vote for Al and Zeke (what with the 'break up' and the argument earlier in the episode). But hey, none of that occurred to me at the time, so even though it would've worked pretty well I decided to go with what I felt made more sense at the time. Maybe if I ever do a 'What If?' series of my own I could revisit this elimination.  
I won't say anything about the finale right now, but I will say that I can see what you mean about this cast starting to get a little bit bland - though it's at a fairly good time, though, since everything is starting to wrap up. Also, like you I'm pretty excited to introduce the new cast, since it's a fairly...interesting mix of characters, to say the least.

 **mitchn:** Thanks! Unfortunately, you shouldn't expect a Shuffled RR anytime in the near future since there's a lot of other things I'm going to have to do so I won't really have time for this series once Total Shuffled Pahkitew Island is over.

 **Ddynamo:** Thank you, and like I've said eliminating Ezekiel last week was a tough decision. Also thanks for telling me about my labeling mistake; I've already gone back and corrected both chapters.

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, glad you liked the episode even if you had to deal with your worst fear being realized. The ending to the challenge was meant to be hinted at a little bit by the baboon picking up the tranq ball, though I'll admit I deliberately didn't show the baboons in between to keep everyone in suspense. And yeah, we've got a pretty strong split in the Final Four, with many potential paths to the finale. It's...gonna be an interesting (and tough to write) next few episodes, that's for sure.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Thanks! To be honest I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to do with Ezekiel coming in to the season, but I'm glad at how he turned out. I'm a little sad to see him go myself, but at least i think I can say I did him good.

 **OMAC001:** Yup! Ella needed to see Sugar for who she is, that's for sure. I hope you enjoy what happens next!

 **wifishark:** Yeah, I'm glad I was able to do so well with Zeke. And I'm glad you're keeping an open mind about the finale, I hope you enjoy it no matter what happens.

 **Star Saber21:** Haha, yeah, you gotta watch out for those baboons. And yeah, Ezekiel's end was sad, but at least he had a good run. I hope you enjoy what happens this week!

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Whew, lots to say here I think...I'll start by saying that the review glitch was super freaking annoying on my end, since I like reading reviews as they come in but they weren't showing up on the website and the longer ones get cut-off in the e-mail alerts. But luckily it was fixed earlier in the week.  
Regarding Ella, I guess all I can say is that different people enjoy different characters? So although you and a few others like Knifez are annoyed by Ella's quirks, others find her likable and rootable. I don't think there's anything wrong with either opinion, it's just a difference of it.  
Regarding Staci, I'll admit that I wish I did more with her, and at least made her angrier or more disagreeable to getting captured (at least until she was properly worn out first). I think that when I was writing the chapter two weeks ago, I just cared more about setting up the elimination - Staci getting captured was just a necessary triviality that i didn't want to focus on more than I needed to.  
Regarding the ending to the challenge and what Ezekiel did, I will admit that it wasn't until late into the chapter that I made the final decision between eliminating him or Tyler. Had I decided to go with Tyler, I would have just had Ezekiel win the challenge straight-up. But I didn't, and figured that the scene of him taking out Alejandro would at least be a cool scene even if it didn't mean much (though it did factor into the votes being split). And about the miscommunication being an ass-pull, well, pretty much anything that wasn't eliminating Alejandro or possibly Sugar would've required an ass-pull of some degree. I had hoped it would be believable that Tyler and Zeke would just assume they were on the same page without having some extended scene to address it, but I guess I wasn't entirely right.  
Regarding Alejandro and the decision to stop considering him for elimination, it wasn't entirely due to the song but I will admit that the song was basically the deciding factor. Remember, I write each chapter in a week, with nearly all the work being done in three or four days - I don't really have time to dither when I have multiple options. The girls were never considered for reasons I don't want to go into right now, and an Alejandro elimination would require a bigger focus on his interactions with Ella and Sugar in order to wrap everything up in a satisfying way. Contrast that with Tyler and Ezekiel, whose eliminations could both have followed reasonably from the events of last week. So since I was still debating Tyler and Ezekiel and wanted to do a shuffled version of Condor anyway, Alejandro was the first boy to be dismissed as an elimination choice.  
The song...yeah, honestly, I see why you didn't like it. I know it's not one of my better works, and in fact while I was writing it at one point I tried to scrap it and start over, only to hate the second version more than the first. And so with only limited time to write, I figured that the first version wasn't awful at least.  
And honestly, yeah, a lot of what you would have described is how the 'Tyler gets 5th place' would go down. Like I told Knifez, maybe one day I'll do some kind of alternate look at how things could have gone differently or something. But until then...well, I hope you'll find at least some kind of enjoyment in these last few episodes, at least.  
And one last thing? Thanks for the critique. It does help me to be a better writer (most of the time, anyway), and it also gives me a better insight into what my reviewers like. Although I will admit that at this point, I pretty much assume that no matter what I decide with something big that I'll get some big critique about it from somebody.

 **Joel Connell:** Hey, no worries about the late review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter so much! And yeah, you're definitely not alone in your hope that Ezekiel would make it to the Final Four, but ultimately I just decided against it. I will say that I'm looking forward to the second casts' introduction, and the third's introduction by default as well. Only five more weeks after today...

And wow, that's finally out of the way...sorry it's taken so long to get the chapter out. Like always the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next. Also like always, here are the remaining contestants in case you need a refresher:

Boys \- Alejandro, Tyler

Girls \- Ella, Sugar

And thus we arrive in the land of moai and condors! Enjoy.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 22 – Rapa Phooey!**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris opened, the recap beginning with a pan across the Serengeti ending in the castmates reacting with shock. " _Africa_! Come for the safari, stay for the near-death experience!" The host adopted a vaguely 'African' accent for the next line, as clips of the baboons, rhino, and lion were shown.

"Here we played a few rounds of the world's favorite game," he said over portions of Ella and Ezekiel getting hit by soccer balls. "And then, we went on a wild Staci hunt!" The wolfish young woman was shown popping out of a bush and narrowing her eyes at the camera, then Tyler and Ezekiel were shown charging in for their part of the so-called 'paintball massacre'. "'cept nobody told _Alejandro_ it was open season on _him_!" Chris chuckled as the charmer was shown first getting tackled by Sugar, and then getting shot by Ezekiel. "Ouch!"

"Unfortunately for everybody, the person who actually _won_ the challenge wasn't really a _person_ ," the host said over the clip of Staci getting knocked out, and the baboon snickering from the acacia branches while the rest of the cast looked shocked.

"And after a _load_ of deception and miscommunication," Sugar was shown talking to Ella, Alejandro was shown overhearing them, and Tyler and Ezekiel were shown looking at each other with shock and dread, "Alejandro managed to get the homeschooled hero Ezekiel voted out, with the unwitting help of his ex Ella." The sobbing princess tried to console Ezekiel after the announcement of his elimination but was rebuffed, and Ezekiel was shown taking the Drop of Shame.

"Talk about _harsh_ , eh!" Chris joked over one final shot of the remaining cast – Ella distraught, Tyler depressed, Sugar angry, and Alejandro smirking confidently.

The recap ended and the scene flashed to the cockpit. "Can it get any wilder?" Chris asked the camera. "Oh yeah it can!" he danced, the grand title tune of the season beginning unusually early. "It's Final Four time, right here on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

The camera zoomed out as usual, the final shot showing another airplane flying across in the far distance.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A dramatic riff played over the usual opening shot of the plane in flight, and the scene cut inside to economy class as Alejandro stretched his arms up above his head and sighed happily.

"You know, despite being in loser class again I'm feeling _quite_ comfortable," he said, the camera zooming out to show Sugar sitting nearby and Tyler and Ella on the opposite wall, the singer hugging her knees and looking quite glum.

"Speak fer yerself," Sugar said sharply. "Ella should be gone right now and you know it!"

"I disagree," Alejandro replied with an almost mocking smile. "Ezekiel was a _much_ bigger threat to my game than Ella will ever be. Besides, I thought you'd _enjoy_ seeing her so depressed?"

The shot quickly changed to the other pair, Tyler glaring silently but diverting his attention to Ella when she sniffed pathetically.

"Well sure," Sugar admitted as the camera moved back to her, "but I'd like her being _gone_ even more."

"Well then," Ella said abruptly, drawing everyone's attention again as she stood up from her seat, eyes still looking downward, "if that's how it is, then I may as well just leave right now."

The eyes of Sugar and Alejandro followed her as she walked towards the door, and Tyler put out a hand too late to stop her. "Wait...," he said before hanging his head.

xxx

"Ella's been pretty messed up since Tanzania," he told the confessional camera. "Only problem is, I don't know what I can do to _fix_ this. If I had magic powers, I could just, like, bring Zeke back or get rid of Al and Sugar, or even just make them stop being _jerks_. But I don't! I'm just _me_."

He sighed, then looked at the camera again. "And even if I _could_ make everything better, then what? Would she finally fall in love with me? Do I even _want_ her to? I know I want her to be _happy_ , but I don't wanna, like, force her to go out with me if she really doesn't want to. But I don't know if _I'll_ be happy if things keep going the way they have been..."

He held his head in his hands. "Why'd I have to fall in love with her to begin with?" he groaned. "I mean, I _do_ love her, right? Or do I just _think_ I do because I've always gone for the hot ones, like her? Man, why is this all so _complicated_ all of a sudden?" He banged his head on the counter, then sat up straight and looked considerably more determined.

"But you know what, even though I have no idea what to do, I'm still gonna try," he told the camera. "I just gotta trust my instincts, just like I always do."

xxx

A sad tune began to play as the shot panned on to Ella, sitting alone in the cargo hold and singing to herself. "Why am I heeeeere? When all I've done is cause others pain? Why am I heeeeere? I don't deserve to be in this game..."

As she sang her mournful song, the silhouette of Staci looked out from behind a stack of crates in the background; she quickly slid back into hiding, however, upon hearing the sound of footsteps nearby.

"There you are!" Tyler said, entering the shot and jogging over to Ella. "I've been looking all over!"

"Why?" Ella asked. "I thought you'd be mad at me for voting for your best friend."

Tyler rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, not meeting her eyes. "Look, I'm not gonna say that I'm _happy_ about it, but it doesn't feel right being _mad_ either. Especially since you're already beating yourself up about it. Why'd you come out here anyway?"

"Oh, well," Ella told him sadly, "I just thought I'd be better off staying away from everyone so I don't make a _fool_ out of myself again."

"Don't say that," Tyler told her with an anxious look. "Nobody thinks you're a fool. Well," he considered absentmindedly, "I guess Al and Sugar do, but _I_ don't. Because...you're _not_." He put an awkward amount of emphasis on his last statement.

Ella looked at him briefly, then hung her head and sighed again. "Thank you, but I _am_. Alejandro had me _completely_ fooled, and even after I found out I still let _Sugar_ fool me too! I'm just a _joke_..."

"No, you're not," Tyler told her.

"Yes I _am_!" she replied with an unexpected fierceness. "I shouldn't even _be_ here, the only reason I'm even _in_ this season is because I got on the bus with everyone else like a _fool_ , and then got _lucky_ when the final cast was decided. And with how I've been playing, I don't _deserve_ to be in the Final Four..."

"Oh...," Tyler said, giving her and awkwardly worried look as he held out a hand, hesitant to place it on her shoulder.

/

The scene flashed back to Sugar and Alejandro, still in economy class together.

"Hmph," Sugar snorted, "those two sure have been gone an awful long time. Whaddaya think they're talkin' about?"

"Who knows?" Alejandro shrugged cockily. "Not that it _matters_ , of course. So long as the two of us stick together, the best they can do right now is force a tie!"

"And how do I know you won't just stab me in the back?" Sugar asked gruffly. "It ain't the _first_ time you've sweet-talked a pretty girl into workin' with you before dumpin' her."

"Well, it's not as if you have any _choice_ in the matter," Alejandro said with another cocky shrug, to which Sugar promptly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulled him close, and brandished her fist menacingly.

"Don't make me remind you that I _ain't_ one to mess with," she told him, the camera zooming in as their faces became close.

"But of course!" Alejandro said with a quick and placating smile. "What I meant was that _neither_ of us have a choice here. Neither Tyler nor Ella will be willing to work with us anymore, so unless we stick _together_ they'll just pick one of us off."

Sugar pursed her lips as she stared at him for a moment, then let him go. "Fine," she told him. "But you'd _better_ vote fer Ella next time, got it?"

"Got it," Alejandro smiled.

xxx

"Unless, of course, either Ella or myself win invincibility today," Alejandro told the confessional camera with a sly smile, "in which case it might just be _Sugar_ who goes home."

xxx

"Attention passengers," Chris announced over the loudspeaker as the plane was shown beginning to descend, "please prepare for landing!"

The scene cut inside the cockpit as the host hung up the microphone and looked at Chef. "C'mon, just let me fly it _once_!" he pleaded to the unflinching pilot. "What can it hurt? It's technically my plane, y'know."

He reached over for the controls, but Chef quickly turned to stop him and the two grown men engaged in a slap-fight. A dramatic tune played as the jet was shown wobbling and losing altitude dramatically, cries of "Oww, my pinkie!" and "Hey!" coming from Chris and Chef inside.

The camera moved to ground-level at an island beach, a moai statue prominently in the foreground as the plane rapidly descended towards it and the camera. "Oh no! Waaaa!" Chris screamed as the plane flew forward, clipping the moai statue with its wing as it swung stage right and knocking the giant head over.

"Gosh darn it!" Chef swore from off-screen.

/

Seagulls were crying off-camera as the scene flashed forward, showing Alejandro and Sugar walking up to the fallen statue.

"Another piece of world heritage destroyed," the charmer lamented.

"Yeah, well, that ain't the _only_ thing that's gonna be destroyed today," Sugar told him. "Assumin' she survived the landin', of course," she added, looking around the beach.

"I doubt either of our fellow contestants would have perished now," Alejandro commented, looking around as well. "Case in point..."

It was then that Tyler walked up to them with a scowl on his face. "What, did the _head thingy_ try to be nice to you guys so you knocked it over?"

"It was like that when we got here," Alejandro said calmly. "Also, you should work on your insulting accusations. And _speaking_ of things that are pathetic," he added, looking around as Tyler's scowl deepened and Sugar stifled a chuckle, "where's Ella? I don't see her."

Tyler's scowl promptly faded into a look of confusion, and he turned around scratched his head. "Wait, really? I thought she was right behind me!"

"I'm here," Ella said with a light sigh as she crested the dune the group was standing on. "I'm just...not feeling as _high-spirited_ as usual, that's all."

"Good," Sugar grunted. "Your 'high spirits' were a high _annoyance_ ," she said, causing Ella to flinch.

"I don't feel _quite_ the same way," Alejandro admitted, "but it's for the better if you don't get your hopes up since you _will_ be eliminated today."

Tyler scowled, but gave the singer a worried look when she just sighed again.

xxx

"Alejandro has a good point," Ella admitted sadly. "Why bother trying to win when I know I don't deserve it? Maybe I should just give up now and save everyone else the trouble..."

xxx

Several more moai statues were shown dotting another stretch of beach, seagulls crying as the camera panned rightward to the four tired contestants climbing up the side of a steeper hill.

"'Iorana!" Chris greeted from off-screen once they'd reached the top, startling the four with his appearance. He had once again appropriated a local costume, now nearly naked except for a small leather loincloth, furry shinguards, and a three-tiered feather headdress in blue, red, and green. He also wore a necklace of what looked like small pebbles and a curved bone in the middle of it, and had white lines running across his cheeks and down his bare chest.

"Dude, you've been working out," Tyler commented in an odd sort of disbelief that caused a frown to briefly cross Chris' face.

"And welcome to Easter Island," he continued, resuming his usual demeanor. "Aka, Rapa Nui! The place is old," he explained. "These dudes were carved so long ago," he gestured over his shoulder at another moai, "no one even remembers why anymore! Ten bucks says it started as a dare," he said with a cheeky smile.

"Did they even _have_ dares back then?" Tyler asked in confusion.

"Probably," Chris shrugged before continuing. "Today, you, our Final Four, are going on a highly traditional Easter Island egg hunt," he explained as the shot panned across the four teens.

"Ooh, are they gonna be _chocolate_ Easter eggs?" Sugar asked eagerly.

"Uhh, _no_ , I'm talkin' the old school kind of eggs," he replied, "the kind that come from _birds_ , y'know those flying things with _feathers_ and _talons_ and vicious kill-you-in-a- _second_ beaks?" The contestants gasped to varying degrees.

"Speaking of _which_ ," Chris said with a sly smile, bending over to pick up a quartet of feathered headdresses, "traditional feather Rapa Nui headdresses! Wear 'em with pride, chickens!"

He tossed them all the hands of the contestants at the same time – blue for Ella, green for Tyler, purple for Alejandro, and red for Sugar.

/

The footage skipped forward a little ways to show Chris leading the Final Four, now wearing their headdresses, past a few more stone heads that seemed to have rather...unusual shapes.

"Hidden in these head things are a bunch of colored eggs that match the color of your...head thing," the host told them.

"I can see you've maintained your _high_ standard of research," Alejandro said dryly.

"Your challenge," Chris continued, "to find _three_ eggs in your color. Then make a break for the massive underground cavern system and book it all the way to the highest point of the island." The camera panned away from the host as he gave his explanation, showing a nearby cave entrance first before quick-panning upwards to another cave on top of a high hill.

"Reach the top with all three eggs to begin the second part of today's challenge," the host explained as the shot cut back to him and the Final Four.

"What happens if we drop an egg?" Tyler asked.

"You'll have to come _all_ the way back here for a replacement," Chris answered, causing Alejandro to quickly raise his hand. "And _no_ ," Chris said in anticipation of the next question, "you can _not_ take a back-up egg." Alejandro lowered his hand in annoyance. "First to the top gets a _big_ advantage in part two," the host said, the shot zooming out to show the backs of the contestants. "Now, _scramble_!"

At his command, the four turn and ran towards the stone heads.

/

A tense challenge tune was playing as Alejandro and Sugar ran up to two of the giant heads and paused to look up at them.

"These look disturbingly familiar...," Alejandro commented, the camera panning up to show that the two they were standing in front of had been carved to look like Geoff and Staci in her original appearance.

Sugar raised an eyebrow and scratched her head, then gasped and continued looking on to the right. "Well I'll be," she commented in shock as the camera panned across statues that looked like Beardo, Shawn, and Ezekiel, "it's everyone we've voted out!"

With a few grunts of effort Alejandro began climbing up a statue of Geoff, while Sugar did the same with Staci. Luckily for the pageant queen the non-wolfish chatterbox was much lower to the ground, so it wasn't long before she managed to reach inside the statue's wide grin and pull out an egg.

"Ooh, I got one!" she said with delight, before seeing its blue color and scowling. "Aww, never mind," she said. "Who was blue again?" she asked Alejandro, now hanging from Geoff's ear.

"Ella, I believe," Alejandro answered absentmindedly, looking back upon hearing the sound of an egg cracking on the ground.

The shot cut to the smashed blue egg, then up to a smug-looking Sugar standing over it. "Oops!" she chuckled. "Looks like _somebody's_ gonna have to look a little harder."

"Just hope _she_ doesn't have the same idea," Alejandro told her before turning his attention back to Geoff's head.

Sugar, meanwhile, had moved on to Scott's head and was looking it over. "C'mon, Scott, I know you gotta be hidin' _somethin_ ',"she grunted, kicking the base of the statue.

"I don't think I can say the same for Geoff," Alejandro commented, pulling out what looked like a framed photograph of Bridgette out of the surfer's ear. He causally tossed it aside, then looked up and smiled. "Then again...," he said softly, pulling a purple egg out from Geoff's hat.

The shot cut to Sierra's statue where a green egg had replaced one of her earrings, then panned down to Tyler as he climbed it. "Almost...there..." he grunted, stretching an arm out and grabbing the egg. "Got it!" he called out in excitement, nearly fumbling the egg. He managed to save it, but ended up falling off the stone head as a result – he landed on his back with an "Oof!", but the egg was still intact.

He stood up, then dashed off to the left; the camera cut to follow him to the base of Dawn's statue, where Ella was sitting with her head in her hands. "Look at what I found! Only two left." Tyler said with an excited and proud sniff. "What about you, how many have you got so far?"

"None," Ella sighed. "But I haven't really been looking. I just don't see the point."

"Uhh, the point is to find eggs first so one of _us_ gets the advantage in the next challenge," Tyler explained to her in mild confusion. "I mean, I know you're feeling down on yourself, but you can still _try_ to beat Al and Sugar, right?"

Ella sighed again. "I _guess_ , but-"

"Great!" Tyler cut her off. "Now c'mon, I know _just_ where to look next!" He grabbed her by the wrist and ran off, forcing her to stand and follow.

/

The footage skipped ahead to show the pair arriving at the head of none other than Ezekiel, his stone visage smiling confidently. "See?" Tyler told Ella as they looked up at the head. "Zeke's _gotta_ have an egg for _one_ of us!"

"Well, I suppose it _might_ be appropriate," Ella said uncertainly before Tyler cut her off again by thrusting his egg into her hands.

"Here, hold this," he told her, eyes locked on his friend's statue. Ignoring Ella's murmurs of protest he rubbed his hands together then jumped on to the stone head, and quickly shimmied up to nose-level.

"Okay man, tell me you have _something_ ," the jock told the statue, shoving his left arm up the closest nostril. After rooting around for a few seconds he grinned, then pulled out a green egg. "Awesome!" he cheered, tucking the egg in his sweatsuit and shifting himself over to the other side of stone-Ezekiel's nose. "And now the other one," he grunted, shoving his right arm up the other nostril.

The camera cut back to Ella looking at the green egg she'd been given, the grunts of Tyler's search coming down from above. The singer smiled softly and rubbed it a little, then gasped sharply when Tyler suddenly fell behind her.

"Oh no, Tyler!" she said, rushing to the jock's side. "Are you alright?"

"Totally!" Tyler answered somewhat shakily before he triumphantly raised up two eggs – one green, the other blue.

xxx

"Even if _Ella's_ ready to call it quits," Tyler confessed with a few bruises and scrapes on his face and hands, " _I'm_ not. I'll just keep going forward for the both of us until Ella realizes that she should be in the game too!"

xxx

"It's very sweet of Tyler to help me with the challenge," Ella said in the next confessional, "even though he shouldn't be wasting his time on me." She sighed again. "I really regret not paying more attention to him after everything he's said and done for me...but I _also_ don't want to make the mistake again of falling in love with someone over how romantic they've been after what happened with Alejandro."

xxx

The evil smirk of Scarlett's stoney rendition was shown next, a purple egg tucked just behind her right ear. Alejandro was currently trying to reach it, but the position of her hair and the egg he was trying to hold on to was making it difficult.

"A thorn in my side as always, I see," Alejandro remarked under his breath, stretching out his arm enough to just barely brush the egg with his fingertips. Unfortunately, this only served to unbalance the egg; it wobbled a bit, then fell forward. Alejandro stuck an arm out to catch it, but the spin it had acquired in falling caused it to tumble out of his grasp and crack on the stone below.

"No...!" he groaned, jumping down to the ground. He huffed, then scratched his chin in thought. "This would be _much_ easier if both my hands were free...if only I had a basket, or something similar."

"Too bad you got nowhere to put yer eggs," Sugar commented as she climbed down to the base of Blaineley's statue, then tried to shove a red egg down her blouse, another just visible tucked in there. "Though I don't got much room left myself," she added, finally cramming the second egg away.

Alejandro shuddered. "Yes...although," he suddenly looked thoughtful, "you _have_ given me an idea..." To a triumphant tune he casually tossed his lone purple egg into the air, whipped off his shirt, tied it into a makeshift bag, and caught his egg in it as it came back down.

xxx

"I'm not usually one for using such _quality_ clothing for such unintended purposes," Alejandro told the confessional camera, still bare-chested and holding his shirt-pack, "but I can't afford to drop any more eggs. Winning invincibility is _crucial_ at this stage of the game, so sacrifices _must_ be made.."

xxx

The scene moved back to Ella, sitting on another rock and cradling five eggs on her lap – three green, and two blue.

"Are you _sure_ you're alright up there?" she called out in concern, the camera zooming out just in time to show Tyler falling from Lightning's statue, a blue egg clearly clutched in his hands. "Oh no, not again," Ella lamented. "You really _don't_ need to do this for me, especially not when you keep _hurting_ yourself."

"Like I keep saying, don't worry!" Tyler said with a reassuring, if bruised and battered, smile as he got back on his feet. "Sure I've fallen off every head thingy, but I haven't dropped a single egg! That's, like, a personal best! Plus, now we _both_ get to go to the next part of the challenge."

"I suppose," Ella said uncertainly as he traded the blue egg he'd just gotten for the three green ones Ella was holding. "But I really don't feel _right_ having you help me so much. It just makes me think I don't deserve to be here even more!"

Tyler stared blankly for a moment, then his face fell. "Oh..." he remained that way for a few more seconds, then put on a look of steely determination. "Well you know what? You _are_ here. Sure, maybe you've screwed up a few times, and yeah, you might not have gotten here without a lot of help from the others, but you still made it to the _Final Four_ in a competition to win a million bucks! You gotta at least _try_ to keep going, otherwise not only will the others feel worse, but _you'll_ also regret it for the rest of your life. And I don't know about you, but I am _not_ gonna do _either_ of those things. So come on!"

"But-" Ella tried to say in protest before, in a few quick motions, Tyler stuffed his three eggs into his tracksuit, grabbed Ella by the hand, and dragged her off towards the cave at a run forcing her to awkwardly try to hold her three eggs in the turned-up hem of her skirt. "Tyler, I _really_ don't feel comfortable running like this!" she cried as he led her into the nearby cave.

/

The scene flashed to the beach near where the plane had landed. Chef and a pair of interns were now trying to move the knocked-over moai back upright, with Chef pulling on a rope in front while the interns pushed from behind.

Chef groaned and grunted in exertion, but paused when the host's voice came in over a walkie-talkie in his pocket. "This is King of all Chrisdom seeking Bitty Baby, over!" Chris said as a dramatic tune rapidly rose in the background. Chef let go of his rope to pull out the communicator, and as the music peaked the moai head fell back over onto the two interns that had been trying to push it.

"When you're done slackin', think you can give me a hand?" Chris asked.

/

A flash took the focus back to Tyler and Ella, who were no longer holding hands but were looking rather tired as they trekked uphill through the underground cavern system.

"Listen," Ella panted, "I really do appreciate that you're trying to cheer me up, but I'm just going to slow you down." The far-off sound of something stone shifting echoed through the tunnel, but neither teen took notice. "I don't want you to hurt your chances just because you're in love with me!"

"Huh?" Tyler said, looking back in confusion before hearing something approaching, looking forward again, and panicking. "Look out!" he shouted, grabbing Ella and pulling her into a nook in the side of the tunnel just as a large spherical boulder barreled down the slope.

The two leaned out with shock on their faces after the boulder left, and the camera cut to Alejandro and Sugar, who had also found three eggs each and started their journey through the caverns. They quickly spotted the approaching boulder, screamed, and ducked into crannies on opposite sides of the tunnel.

"Don't tell me we gotta deal with _those_ now, too!" Sugar exclaimed, the two villains poking their heads back out into the open.

/

The scene flashed to the cave's exit at the highest point of the island, where a cackling Chris watched as Chef pushed another large, spherical boulder into the caverns. He sighed mirthfully as the camera cut in for a close-up, then as the grand title theme began to play he told it "We've got _tons_ more fun, literally," he motioned to a nearby pile of similar boulders, "right after this, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed with another shot of the pile of boulders, a tense tune playing as Chris began to speak. "Welcome back to Total Drama World Tour," he greeted as the shot panned back over to him and Chef. "We're here on beautiful Rapa Nui," the camera zoomed in on Chef as he got ready to push another stone sphere, "where _somebody_ is about to go splat-splat! Wait for it...," the host said with an eager smile.

/

"So, uh," Tyler said somewhat awkwardly as the focus returned to him and Ella, "what was that you said before that boulder nearly crushed us?"

Ella took a breath. "I...I know that you love me and all, and even though I used to think I'd love to have a prince who helped me as much as you have, I realize now that I really _don't_ ," she explained as a sad tune played. "You're getting hurt and holding yourself back because of me, and I haven't done _anything_ in return. I'm just...a _joke_."

"Oh," Tyler said blankly, and they spent the next couple seconds in silence before Tyler stopped and turned towards her. "Look," he sighed, "this is hard to admit, and you might not have even noticed, but I screw things up, like, _all the time_. In challenges, voting, other girls, heck, even _sports_! But even though I keep failing, I _always_ keep trying. Because if you _don't_ try, then you can never win."

He paused, and the camera switched perspectives to show Ella looking at him rather blankly.

Tyler scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, once again unaware of the sound of something move towards him. "Look, I think where I'm going with this is that if you think _you're_ a joke, then I'm a joke _too_. And that means we should stick together and give whatever help we can to each other, no matter _how_ we feel about each other, so that maybe we _won't_ be jokes. Am I making sense?"

"I...think so," Ella told him with a concerned look behind him, "but we should really move right now!"

"Huh?" Tyler said, raising an eyebrow and looking behind him at the stone ball that was rapidly approaching them. "Oh no!" he shouted in alarm, quickly shoving Ella to the side. She was able to brace herself against the wall of the tunnel in such a way that she escaped getting run down without harming her eggs, but Tyler wasn't as lucky.

The boulder ran right over him, leaving him behind in a roughly jock-shaped impression on the ground. Naturally, all of his eggs had been crushed.

"Oh no!" Ella cried in concern, hurrying over to his side. "This is just what I was _afraid_ of! This never would've happened if you hadn't been trying to cheer me up."

"Don't worry about it, okay?" Tyler said, pulling himself out of the ground with a grunt. " _I'm_ the one who decided not to save myself, this is on me. You go on ahead and win this part of the challenge, I'll grab some more eggs and catch up."

"But-" Ella tried to say.

"Just go!" Tyler told her sternly. "If you don't, Al or Sugar will win and get the advantage. We have to help each other, remember?"

The two looked at each other for a moment, and Ella nodded. "Okay. I'll do my best," she said before turning and darting away.

/

The music turned dramatic again as the scene flashed back to Alejandro and Sugar further back in the tunnel.

"Why can't there be an _escalator_ if we're goin' uphill all the way?" Sugar panted, lagging behind her 'partner'.

"Why would there be an _escalator_ in an ancient cavern?" Alejandro asked looking back with a bewildered expression.

"I don't know," Sugar shot back, "why would there be a buncha giant stone _mystery heads_ around here? This island is weird!"

Alejandro paused for a moment, then said "A fair point, in a way." He paused again and noticed the sound that was coming closer. "Quick, hide! Another boulder is coming!" he warned the tired pageant queen. But while he himself was able to get out of the stone ball's path without issue, Sugar was not. She tripped and stumbled into the wall, getting out of the way of the boulder but in doing so she crushed the trio of eggs held precariously in her blouse.

"Aww dang it!" she cursed, stepping away from the wall once the threat had passed and wiping the yolk off her clothes. "Now I gotta go back and do this all over again!"

"In that case, I bid you good luck," Alejandro told her. "I, of course, will go on ahead." He turned to continue forward, then heard the sound of footsteps and smiled. "Though it seems you're not alone in your predicament," he told Sugar just as Tyler ran determinedly past them.

Sugar just huffed in annoyance.

xxx

"Let me see...," Alejandro considered in the restroom confessional, still without his shirt. "If Tyler and Sugar have been forced to restart the challenge, then the only competition left for this part is _Ella_. She'll be _tragically_ easy to beat, of course," he admitted. He paused for a breath, then put on what seemed like a look of genuine remorse. "Truly, I wish things could have turned out differently between us...but she decided to turn her back on me after Sweden, and for that she will be _crushed_. I have no other choice!"

xxx

The static cut away to the beach, the shot focusing on the stone heads of Beardo and Shawn, while Sugar attempted to search the crevices of the beatboxer's hair.

"Aww dude," Tyler said as he ran past in panic, "this place is like _empty_!"

"Well _duh_ ," Sugar told him irately. "I reckon we already found or broke most of the eggs." She finally pulled something from Beardo's stone 'hair', which turned out to be an airhorn that promptly blew and knocked her off her perch.

"Okay, dude," Tyler said as he was shown shimmying up the statue of DJ, "I'm sorry I voted you out, so _please_ have an egg for me." He reached into the gentle giant's open mouth, rooted around, and excitedly pulled out a green egg. He whooped in excitement, jumped off the head, and landed with a rock between his legs – but at least the egg was okay.

"Aww, crud!" Sugar remarked, now clinging to Sammy's head and watching Tyler run past with an eager smile on his face. "I better hurry," she told herself, forcing her arm into the stone cheerleader's ear with enough for a few bits of stone to crumble away from it, and eventually pulled out one of her red egg. "Yes, still in the game!" she said, sliding back down to ground level.

The camera pulled back to show Tyler climbing Dawn's head nearby just as a piercing cry and a large winged shadow passing overhead caught the two teens' attention.

"What was that?" Tyler asked, looking up in shock and alarm.

"I don't know," Sugar said with rising panic of her own as the perspective turned upwards to show a large condor soaring overhead looking down at the two, "but it ain't no turkey!"

"Oh no, what if _these_ eggs," Tyler said in panic, looking at the green egg he'd put in his tracksuit, "are _its_ eggs?"

He looked back at the condor, which screeched and dived towards them.

"RUN!" Sugar and Tyler screamed together, the jock sliding back down to the ground and taking off with the pageant queen towards the cave, the condor screeching and swooping right behind them.

/

The scene flashed back to the tunnels, where Alejandro was running with a smile on his face. "Well well well, fancy meeting you here, chica!" he taunted as he came up alongside Ella, who was going at a slower pace and gasped when she saw her former crush.

"What do _you_ want?" she asked him in annoyance.

"To _win_ , of course," Alejandro answered immediately. "And with only _you_ as my competition right now, I'd say I have it in the bag!" He sped up, and easily passed Ella.

Ella gulped, and with her eggs cradled in her arms she did her best to speed up as well. "You...you won't beat me," she told him, unable to hide her uncertainty.

" _Please_ ," Alejandro chuckled, "we both know you don't _really_ believe that."

"ELLA, RUN!" the panicked voice of Tyler suddenly came from behind them, surprising both singer and charmer.

"Huh, he caught up sooner than I expected," Alejandro thought aloud as he and Ella turned to look back down the tunnel.

A dramatic tune played as Tyler and Sugar were shown running towards them, holding three appropriately-colored eggs each but more importantly with the giant condor flying and screeching right behind them.

"A giant condor!" Alejandro yelled in shock, turning to run alongside Ella.

Back outside the higher cave exit, Chris was measuring parts of a giant stone Chef head as the man himself prepared to push it.

"Dude," the host said as he moved his tape measure around, "we _gotta_ get back to boulders."

A quartet of screaming voices caught the attention of both men, the camera zooming out just as Alejandro ran out of the cave, followed by Ella, then Tyler, then Sugar. The four stopped together just past Chef.

"Man, you guys are _really_ competing!" Chris commented with a happy smile.

He was answered by several frantic and disjointed pleas which, overall, asked that the cave be closed off. Chef promptly complied, pushing the statue of his head over to block the cave entrance.

Moments later the condor crashed into it with a painful crunch, its feet and a few feathers jutting out between a few gaps.

"Oh man, _so close_!" Chris lamented as he looked back at the blocked cave. "Way to ruin the fun! We may as well move on to the next challenge," he said, turning back to the contestants and bending down to pick something up. "Since Alejandro was the first one out," he said before tossing the wary charmer an umpire's mask.

"I have to play...baseball?" Alejandro asked uncertainly.

"Thankfully no," Chris replied as the background music built up its tension. "You must climb this rock pillar all the way up to...," he explained, the camera showing Alejandro and Ella looking behind them before panning up a tall, thin, and craggy pillar with a large bird's nest at the very top.

"A _giant condor_ nest?" Alejandro said in horror as the music peaked and the shot zoomed in on the nest.

"You already know they can get pret-ty crabby," Chris explained. "But did you know _female_ condors are even _bigger_ than the dude birds?"

The four contestants were shown looking at him with blank shock before a loud screech turned their attention upwards, where a large condor silhouette was looking down at them. "She's _huge_!" Tyler commented in horror.

"Yup, twelve-foot wingspan," the host said matter-of-factly.

"That's like...two Alejandros wide...," Alejandro said, awe and fear still on his face.

"See, she's kinda _peeved_ 'cause you guys stole her eggs," Chris told the cast.

"What?! Dude, no, it was _him_!' Tyler frantically tried to tell the bird, pointing wildly at the host.

"So you have to try to shimmy _up_ to the nest, and give 'em back," Chris continued, "in the order in which you arrived here. Of course, Momma's got a _whole_ lot more eggs up there," the shot cut to the mother condor perched angrily on the edge of her nest, "so, she's bound to be a tad protective."

The mother condor let loose a screech that shook the camera.

"...gracias," Alejandro said, putting his umpire's mask on. "The giant condor has been known to peck the eyeballs of predators," he explained, pointing at his own eyes behind his protective gear.

"Aww, but I _like_ my eyeballs!" Sugar lamented.

"Deposit all three eggs and you win," Chris explained. "And if nobody makes it, we'll try it again! It's gonna be that much fun."

Alejandro sighed, then adjusted the pack he'd made out of his shirt that had his three purple eggs nestled inside. "Let's get this over with," he said before taking a step forward.

" _Oh_ ," Chris interrupted, causing the charmer to flinch, "and one more thing."

"Increíble," Alejandro muttered, "what else could you-"

He was answered by the familiar ding and icon that signaled a musical number. "It's for you own protection," Chris told them. "Keeps the birds calm. I'm lying," he said with a mischievous smirk, "or I'm not! You choose!"

~/~

[A Latin melody identical to what had been used a few times in the past as Alejandro's leitmotif began to play, and the mother condor screeched again from atop its nest.]

" _I'm tall, I'm tanned, I'm young, I'm handsome_!"

[Alejandro opened, the camera flashing in sequence from a close-up of his tapping feet, to his swaying hips, to his waggling butt, and lastly to a sideview of his flirtatious eyes and smirk.]

" _I'm coming to bring back your wee ones! So hush my sweet, condor let me win this one please_!"

[The condor was shown bobbing and bouncing in enjoyment of the music as Alejandro steadily climbed up the rock spire. He reached the top of the nest, and the condor screeched at him.]

" _So try, attack me! But, I won protection! I don't feel that pecking, so, save your objections_!"

[Alejandro paused for a few beats in confidence, and the condor pecked him to no avail. As the mother bird continued its fruitless assault Alejandro started placing the purple eggs he was carrying into the nest – first one, then another.]

" _Hush now condor, let me in the Final Three_!"

[Alejandro told it as he held out the third egg he'd brought. He was answered by a wing sweep that knocked him clear off the pillar.

"Aww, no!" he groaned on his back on the ground, just before the third egg splattered on his face.

"Next!" Chris said, popping into view on the right.]

" _Iiiii, oh Ii~ii~ii, think that you're a lovely condor, a lovely condor_."

[Ella sang next, looking upwards while struggling to both climb the pillar and keep her three blue eggs balanced.]

" _Whyyyy, oh whyy~yy~yy, don't you let me come, up yonder_?"

[She added as she grabbed the next handhold, the shot panning up to the nest to show the condor enjoying the song again.]

" _It's just meeee, i~it's just me~ee. I'm not a threat, and I, haven't given you back your eggs ye~et_!"

[Ella sang as she finally managed to pull herself up to the nest level. She quickly put the first two eggs into the nest under the stern gaze of their mother, but the moment she ended her line the camera cut to a close-up of her foot as the rock below it broke away a bit, causing her to slip and fall from the pillar. The mother condor watched her fall with an expression of what looked like genuine disappointment, and winced at the sound of the singing princess hitting the ground.

The shot immediately cut down to show Ella facedown on the ground, but with the last blue egg held above in both hands, intact and shaking just a little bit.

"Good news!" Chris told her as the camera panned to the left just a little bit to show him standing over her. "You can have another chance later, but first..." He looked back to the left, and the song continued over a shot of Tyler's determined face.]

" _Yeah, come on now, I'm not close to givin' up yet_!"

[Tyler called up forcefully towards the nest, climbing steadily with his three green eggs bulging inside his tracksuit.]

" _I don't care about your threat; and I won't, break a swe~eat_!"

[He reached the top, and began to place eggs in the nest just as the two before him had. The mother condor, though still bobbing to the beat, seemed to be displeased nonetheless.]

" _I'm doin' extreme! So, let me in to the Final Three~e~e_!"

[He was answered by a sudden and swift headbutt that knocked him off the pillar right before he managed to place the third egg in the nest. As he fell, he lamented "Aww, man! I was so _close_ too!"

The camera stuck to Sugar as he fell past her, and Chris called out "Sugar?" in an expectant and impish tone.]

" _Iiiii, oh Ii~ii~ii, oh I really hate this climbin', but I'm gonna rhyme with expert timin'_."

[The pageant queen sang confidently, not missing a beat even at the thud of Tyler's landing.]

" _Aaaaaand, I~i'm gonna win. I'll be here to stay; I'll find a way; so let me here ya say_...!"

[She reached the nest and immediately locked glares with the condor, all the while continuing to sing. She placed two red-colored eggs in the nest before pausing to take a deep breath, and...]

" _Sugar Hollaaaaaaa_!"

[Sugar held the note long and high, causing both the condor, and the four people listening on the ground, to wince in pain. The shot cut back to the condor as it screeched in retaliation, then headbutted Sugar and battered her with its wings until she was hanging onto the top of the spire with only one hand, the other still holding the last red egg.

The song's music did not stop, however, only transitioning to a slightly more complex instrumental sequence.

"Darn it Sugar, why'd you have to go and do _that_ for?" Chris called out in annoyance as the camera cut to him with his hands covering his ears.

Another sharp and sudden and very furious screech as the shot zoomed out caused everyone to gasp, then look skyward – another condor was circling above them, and the camera cut in close to show it had a few noticeable lumps on its very angry head.

"Aww man, and now the _male's_ back too?!" Chris cried, gripping his head in shock and fear.

"And it's coming right for us!" Tyler exclaimed in panic, pointing at it with his right hand while he cradled the last green egg with his left.

"No, it's headed for _Sugar_!" Alejandro countered, wide-eyed as he followed the off-screen condor's path.

"SOMEBODY _HELP ME_!" the pageant queen yelled, the camera violently jerking back upwards to show her still hanging on for dear life with the mother condor watching her closely; a quick-pan up and to the left showed the father watching as well.

The camera cut to Ella's face as the shock and horror drained away, replaced by mute determination. She got to her feet with the blue egg in one hand, quickly ran to Tyler and grabbed the green egg from him before he could react, then started climbing the pillar again.]

" _Iiiii, oh Ii~ii~ii, oh I know that you're angry, know that you're angry..._ "

[She sang, immediately gaining the attention of both condors and Sugar.]

" _Iiiii, and Ii~ii~ii, can really only say, that we're sorry..._ "

[She continued, climbing steadily. The shot briefly cut over to Sugar, who took her chance to put the final red egg in her blouse then grab hold of the edge of the rock pillar's top with her now-free hand. She pulled herself up, then put the egg inside the nest while the mother condor was looking down at Ella.]

" _Condors, oh co~ondors, oh we don't want your chicks; it's just, a misunderstanding that we'd like to fi~i~ix_!"

[Ella managed to reach the top again, the shot zooming out to show Sugar next to her and both condors watching her on the nest and alternating their bobbing to the music. Ella locked eyes with the birds as she pulled herself up to a standing position, then placed the two eggs she had carried with the rest of the multi-colored clutch. The condors looked down at them all in surprise, then shared a happy look.

It quickly turned to surprise, along with Ella's and Sugar's, when they noticed the eggs trembling.

A sudden and solitary guitar pluck put an end to the main melody just as the eggs hatched all at once into a large number of cute little condor chicks that immediately looked up at their parents and squeaked needfully.]

"Yes! _Congratulations condors, on yoouur new fa-mi-lyyyy~_!"

[Ella finished with a triumphant pose, the music ending with a rapid strum.]

~/~

"And congratulations to _Sugar_ for winning the challenge!" Chris announced as the shot cut back to the ground.

"Whoa, _what_?!" Tyler said in shock. "But Ella just saved our _butts_!"

"Maybe," Chris conceded, "but Sugar was the first one to return all her eggs, so! By the time Ella calmed down the birdies, the challenge was _technically_ over."

Sugar immediately turned a smug grin towards Ella, but the singer just shrugged. "I don't care. I did the right thing, and now we're all safe. That matters more to me."

The pageant queen looked stunned for a moment as Ella climbed down and out of sight, then scowled. "You just _gotta_ take this away from me, don'tcha?" Sugar muttered as she climbed down as well.

/

The plane was shown flying high over the moai statues as Chris announced "And, it's time to vote!"

The scene immediately flashed to a close-up of the host in the elimination chamber as he read through the four stamped passports. A few dramatic notes played as he smiled, and the shot zoomed out to show the four contestants waiting expectantly in the stands.

"The first person to be nominated for the Drop of Shame is... _Alejandro_!" the host announced as the music became tense, and the fully-clothed charmer was shown hanging his head in acceptance. "Next vote, _Ella_...," the camera cut to the princess and the jock, the former also hanging her head as Tyler put a hand on her shoulder.

"Next vote, _Alejandro_...," Chris continued, the shot zooming out to show Ella and Alejandro locking gazes in a split screen – the young man's narrow and forceful, and young woman's with just a spark of defiance. "And the fourth and final vote goes to... _Ella_!"

The two sides of the split screen shifted to show a nervous Tyler and an excited Sugar, who took over the whole scene as she stood and raised her arms in triumph. "Yes!" she cheered. "Bring on the tiebreaker!"

Alejandro rolled his eyes in amusement, then confidently stood as well.

xxx

"I'm a little disappointed that it has to come to this," Alejandro confessed, "but I wasn't about to _not_ vote with Sugar for this. Besides, Ella was going to be defeated by my hands _eventually_."

xxx

"Well, let's get this over with," Ella said sadly as the scene cut back to the elimination chamber as sombre ending music played, standing up to leave the seating area. "What's our tiebreaker, Chris?" she asked as she and Alejandro stepped forward, side by side.

"As much _fun_ as it would be two see you two ex-lovebirds go at it in a tiebreaker," Chris answered with an impish smile, " _you're_ all still in the Final Four, it was just a reward challenge!" he announced with glee.

"WHAT?!" Sugar yelled angrily by the other three looked shocked. "You mean she's gettin' off _again_?!"

"Sugar!" Chris replied with a hint of nervousness as he tossed the pointless votes away. "Because you won, your prize awaits you in first class. And, as usual, you can bring the loser of your choice."

The pageant queen grunted in displeasure and folded her arms. "Well, I ain't gonna give it to either of _those two_ ," she said with a glare at Ella and Tyler, "so I guess Alejandro's comin' with me."

"I appreciate your decision," Alejandro told her with his usual charming smile. "It's been far too long since I've enjoyed the comforts of first class."

"Well _duh_ ," Sugar told him, "it's the same fer me too. Besides, maybe this way we might finally figure out how to get things to go our way again," she added with another glare at Ella that caused the girl to hang her head.

xxx

"Well, how to get things to go _my_ way again," Sugar corrected in the restroom confessional, "but still."

xxx

Ella opened the next confessional with a sigh. "I guess I'm still here, at least until the next vote anyway," she said sadly. She took a breath, and forced a smile. "I'll admit that I completely messed up in the challenge today, but I've decided that since I'm here, I may as well at least _try_ to do what I can. Today, that was saving Sugar and everyone else from a couple of giant condors who only wanted their babies back. And tomorrow...," she paused a moment and looked down, "tomorrow I'll do my best to help Tyler win the competition. It's only fair, after all."

xxx

The static cut away to the cockpit, Chris trying to reach for the control again but getting his hand slapped away by Chef. "Oww!" the host whined, the series' capstone theme beginning as he turned his attention to the camera. "Come back next time, for more spills, chills, and planet-endangering thrills _right here_ , on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

The shot zoomed out as usual, and a resounding slap was heard and followed by another "Oww...!" from Chris.

The camera lingered on the plane for a longer than usual, the grandiose music used for the title drop fading first into something more ominous and then into silence as the shot rotated below the jet, then rapidly fell away back to Rapa Nui.

It panned over to the condor nest, the larger mother vomiting up a meal for the many chicks while the slightly smaller male watched the plane fly overhead. Once the mother's task was complete she turned her attention planeward as well, then shared a nod with her mate.

The male spread his massive wings, then took off as the female once again turned back to her needy chicks.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And thus ends the final reward challenge of the season. The Final Four stand as they are, with Ella still doubting herself; Tyler a little bit frustrated with things; Sugar outright angry; and Alejandro...once again thinking he's on top. I hope everyone followed everything okay, and that it all made as much sense to you as it does in my head.

This week's song is, of course, a version of 'Condor' that is both Shuffled and extended! I bet you were all surprised by that. The plan I originally had way back when was that Ella would be the last to sing and thus win the challenge, bu as she's already gotten two wins in this quarter I figured it would be better to give someone else a chance. And thus, Sugar manages to just scrape by with the win while the condor was distracted, but Ella still gets a bit of musical glory.

I'm a bit tired right now, after having answered all the reviews and done some last-minute edits to smooth out a few things. I hope everyone enjoys it, and I know that many of you will let me know how you felt.

The Final Three will be decided by this time next week, so be prepared!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (18th Place)

Lightning - (17th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (16th Place)

Geoff - (15th Place)

Scott - (14th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (13th Place)

Sierra - (12th Place)

DJ - (11th Place)

Shawn - (10th Place)

Staci - (9th Place)

Sammy - (8th Place)

Blaineley - (Tied for 7th Place)

Dawn - (Tied for 7th Place)

Ezekiel - (5th Place)


	23. Chapter 23 - Awwwwww, Drumheller

**Author's Note**

Wow...here we are already, at the end of the fourth quarter. The Final Three shall be decided by the end of this week's episode. Next week will be the final Aftermath, which is the episode I'm currently working on - I'm at the second song right now, and I've got a good start on it so it'll easily be finished on Saturday. The week after next you'll get to see the Final Three's journey to Hawaii, and the season's finale will air the week after on February 5th.

It's hard to believe that everything is coming to a close so soon...

Well, I don't want to think about that right now. There are reviews to answer.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Thanks! Although...I really can't make promises either way about who will or will not go next.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yup, pretty much. I toyed with the idea of Sugar being grateful, but ultimately decided it would be better if she wasn't, and that she could easily rationalize it as being not really saving her life anyways since Sugar managed to hang on by herself.

 **DSX62415:** Hah, yup. It seems so close, and yet still so far away...

 **Animation Adventures:** Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed last week's characterization, especially Ella - she's been a somewhat polarizing character among the readers this season, so I've been trying hard to develop her in a direction that makes sense and is satisfying. It seems like it's been working so far, so I'm really happy. I'm glad you enjoyed the stuff with the heads; for a lot of the eggs I just did whatever without having any gags or nods in mind, but it looks like the ones that I did have something in mind for came through.  
I wasn't too sure what I was going to do about carrying the eggs since I realized at the start that there wouldn't be any baskets available, but I'm glad that the methods I did come up with worked out. I'm especially proud of Alejandro's bag; as you said it really suits his ingenuity though I did have to keep reminding myself that he was shirtless afterwards.  
I'm happy you enjoyed the Shuffled version of Condor as well, I knew it was gonna be a good idea to make that song happen. And yeah, the plan right now is still to do a Shuffled version of "I'm Gonna Make It" if I can, though at the very least the song in Episode 25 will be of the same vein even if I don't reuse anything from canon.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Great to hear! I'm glad you enjoyed both Sugar and Ella last week, and I hope you enjoy what happens to them this week. Happy to hear you were a fan of last week's song too; getting the second half to work right was a bit of a pain, but it really ended up paying off I think.

 **kaijudude1000:** Honestly, I think Ella's just that nice. Even if she knows someone hates her, she doesn't want to let them get hurt if she knows she might be able to save them. So maybe Sugar didn't deserve it, but Ella didn't care - she did the right thing, and that's what matters to her. I do hope you enjoy what happens in these last few chapters as the season gets wrapped up...

 **mitchn:** I'm glad you're enjoying Ella's development! It's been pretty fun to write, and I'm glad I've been able to pull it off. Although I'm afraid by the time you made your request I'd already written this week's chapter, so you'll just have to accept what I decided on. As for your questions: Yes, I am going to write Total Shuffled ROTI, AS, and PI; but I'm not going to spoil who may or may not meet each other during those seasons, or whether there will be future focus on Topher and Sierra's eternal feud.

 **FOWLKON:** Thanks, I haven't heard that much about Tyler so far but I'm glad that you at least think I've done a good job fleshing out his character. He and Ella are both pretty odd choices to have as newbies this season since it's meant they've lasted pretty long and as such needed a good dose of development, but it looks like I've been reasonably successful on both counts. And yes, I do have plans for that condor, though I won't say what...

 **Boggie445:** Thanks. I hope you enjoy this week's episode.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Haha, yeah, but when isn't he? And yeah, I know it was a little less humorous, but that's to be expected considering all that's happened between these four this season - in canon, everyone was on mostly better terms with each other, so more humor was allowed. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what comes next!

 **VIPGuest:** As I've said before, I currently do not plan on writing 'Total Shuffled Presents: The Ridonculous Race' any time in the near future. Distressingly soon I'm going to have to actually find work for the first time in about three years, so naturally I won't have time to devote to a weekly fanfiction series.

 **bruno14:** I'm glad you enjoyed the song! It's one of my favorites, both in canon and in this series. And yeah, Tyler is doing what he thinks is right...though that doesn't mean he doesn't have his eye on the prize, too. Sometimes, you just have to try and do both at the same time.

 **Guest:** Uh...okay then...

 **The Prime Writer:** Hey, no problem with either the time or the length (though in truth you weren't quite one of the last this week, but rather at the end of the middle). The relationship between Tyler and Ella, and how they each were going to mature and develop this season, is something I've put a lot of thought into. I haven't always been sure of what I was going to go for in the end, but I'm happy with what I've done with both of them so far - even including Ella becoming rather desperately in denial for a little while. Blaineley revealing Sugar right off the bat could have worked, but I figured it would be more in her character to try and use that info to extort Sugar - it just ended up backfiring, causing Blaineley to blow Sugar's cover once she was relatively safe from retaliation. The recent eliminations...well, they each had their own difficulties, but I'm happy with where this season is at right now, and where it's headed. I'll do my best to make in an interesting road, so I hope you enjoy it to the end.

 **OMAC001:** Hah, well, it wouldn't be Total Drama World Tour if _something_ didn't explode, now would it?

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, seeing how the song uses Alejandro's theme, it didn't make sense to use it if he didn't start the song as in canon. It's a small role, perhaps, but a crucial one. As for Ella, you think she's becoming bland now? I think it's the opposite, she's finally coming in to her own in a way (not like that necessarily means anything in terms of how long she has left in the game). I am glad you've enjoyed Sugar, though; I wasn't sure about her especially with how much focus Alejandro has still been getting, but perhaps it still works for her as a villain. And as for Tyler, well, I'm glad you're enjoying him as well, not much else I can say. I do hope that you enjoy these next few episodes, though.

 **Ddynamo:** Well, you'll just have to read on and find out.

 **Knifez:** Haha, you know I can't make promises one way or the other. And I'm glad you enjoyed the suspense last week, and I hope that you enjoy this week's events as well.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Thank you! Yet again, I'm glad to hear that one of my regulars enjoyed Ella's recent development. Likewise, I absolutely agree that Tyler's determination is one of his best aspects - he may not be the coordinated or smart, but he doesn't give up easily and he's loyal to a fault. As for your concerns...well, I don't want to spoil what's coming next, so I'm afraid you'll just have to read on and know that I'll do my best to write the best ending to this season that I can.

 **Star Saber21:** Yeah, it seems like Ella is coming out of her funk. Though as for what will happen with her and Tyler once this season is over...well, that'll have to wait a few weeks. But as for whether Alejandro or Sugar will stab the other in the back first...well, perhaps you'll find that out sooner.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Fortunately, as I already said in my initial PM-based reply, the review glitch didn't last long this time. And now for the reply itself...well, for starters, I'm glad you enjoyed everyone last chapter, especially Ella even though you still don't really like her. Tyler questioning what he wants from her is something I've had in mind for him for some time now, just to show that everything that's happened is taking its toll on him too. But even through his doubts, he still decided to keep going and do what he felt was right, in true Tyler style.  
The challenge and song were fun to write, of course; and I'm glad you enjoyed what I did with Ezekiel's head. Ella winning the challenge was my first idea in the initial planning stages of the season, but since she's already won a couple individuals it was obvious that I couldn't have her win here, and setting up Sugar's win ended up being even better.  
As for your predictions...well, I won't talk about how the challenge ends, though for the song...I do want to say some things, but I don't want to spoil what I did with it so you'll just have to read on and find out.

 **wifishark:** Glad you liked it, and yeah, the song was a fun one. And as for the male condor...well, you'll find out in time.

And...that's it for the week! As always the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next. Likewise, here are the Final Four in case you've somehow forgotten since last week:

Boys \- Alejandro, Tyler

Girls \- Ella, Sugar

Who will end up making it to the Final Three, and whose chances of winning are about to blow up? Read on and find out.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 23 – Awwwwww, Drumheller**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris opened over a shot of the jumbo jet flying away from Rapa Nui. "Princess _Poutypants_ struggled with how much of a _loser_ she really is," the host said over a few clips of Ella moping, or acting hesitant or uncertain. "And while we searched for eggs on Easter Island," Sugar was shown getting blown off of stone Beardo's head by a hidden airhorn, "some old pals stopped by for a _nice visit_." Tyler was shown grabbing the green egg that had replaced an earring in the stone statue of Sierra, then falling off. "Along with a couple _seriously_ ticked-off condor parents," the host added, the male condor shown chasing Tyler and Sugar through the underground tunnel, and the female pecking at Alejandro while he sang and eventually sweeping him off the rocky perch with her wing.

"Friendships were challenged," Chris said over a clip of Tyler and Ella talking while they walked through the tunnel together. "Families were born," the host added as the final moments of the song were shown, with the eggs hatching and Ella standing triumphant despite her loss in the challenge. "And ultimately, it looked like a showdown between Alejandro and Ella was at hand," Chris said as the two in question were shown standing in preparation for a tiebreaker challenge. "'cept, some wise guy decided to make it a _reward challenge_!" he finished with a mischievous laugh as Sugar was shown reacting to the news angrily, then choosing Alejandro to stay in first class with her.

"The Final Four remain," Chris told the camera as the recap montage ended. "Which one of 'em will dig up more trouble this week? Find out right now, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

It was dawn as the camera zoomed out, and a hot air balloon was rising up nearby the plane. It collided with the wing, popped, and fell with a whimpering hiss.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode, as usual, opened with a shot of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet in flight, this time against the orange light of sunrise. The scene flashed inside to first class, where Sugar was reclining in her seat with her mouth agape, snoring as she slept.

Alejandro soon walked up carrying a plate of several round, flat, bready things and took the seat beside her. He tossed one into his mouth, waited a few moments, then cleared his throat sharply; the effect was instant, Sugar quickly waking up and returning to an upright position. She stretched her arms and yawned dramatically.

"Would you care for a delicious pupusa?" Alejandro offered.

Sugar took one from the plate, stuffed it into her mouth, and asked "That depends, what's a pupusa?"

"It's the stuffed tortilla that you're eating," Alejandro explained with a patient smile.

"Oh," Sugar said, swallowing. "Then yeah, I'll have one," she added, taking another pupusa from the plate.

"Thank you, once again, for inviting me up here with you," Alejandro told her as she ate.

"Don't read too much into it," Sugar told him after swallowing again. "I only did it 'cause of _strategy_ , and not likin' the other two."

"So you've told me," Alejandro replied. "And _speaking_ of strategy, I assume we'll still be trying to get Ella eliminated next?"

"Err, yeah," Sugar said suspiciously quickly, grabbing another pupusa and shoving it into her mouth. "No reason to change what shoulda worked last time!"

xxx

"Yeah, so, I spent a lotta time last night thinkin' about things," Sugar confessed. "Y'know, what I should be doin' next and the like? And _that_ just led to me thinkin' more about Ella. See, the reason why I don't like her is because, besides bein' _super_ annoyin', I've known girls like her all my life. They act all sweet and nice on the outside to get people to like 'em, but _inside_ they're nastier than a raccoon with a toothache. Only most girls like that woulda shown their insides by now, even if its only 'cause someone else tricked 'em into it. But as far as I can tell, Ella hasn't slipped up once!" Sugar said, spreading her arm in disbelief before crossing them again.

"So either she's better at this than anyone I've ever met before," Sugar continued, "or she really _ain't_ puttin' on an act. Yeah, hard to believe, I know," the pageant queen told the camera with a knowing look. "But hey, on this show I reckon just about _anything_ is possible! And if she really _is_ as nice as she wants us to think," Sugar continued, pausing thoughtfully.

"...then she'll be even _easier_ to beat than I thought!" Sugar grinned darkly, ending with a chuckle.

xxx

Alejandro began the next confessional with a short sigh. "At long last, I've nearly reached the finale once again. I just need to get past the next vote and the Final Three challenge, and then the million will be _all mine_ ," he said with an anticipatory grin, reaching out as if to grab his prize. "Which means, of course, that I can't afford _any_ mistakes. Ideally, I shall win invincibility in today's challenge, earning my spot in the Final Three and causing _Sugar_ to be eliminated – she'd be the most _troublesome_ opponent should the sudden death challenge be anything like season one's, and regardless she'll be the easiest target since she's obviously going to vote for Ella again."

"And after that...," he trailed off slightly as he thought, "it is a difficult decision since they're both so _pathetic_. Tyler is a nobody whose so-called 'victories' over me were caused by my _mistakes_ more than his _skills_. And dear _Ella_ , of course, will be easy to demoralize after everything that has happened to her this season. However...I expect the final challenge will involve a musical element, in which case it might not be _wise_ to give Ella a chance to use her considerable skills in that area. Decisions, decisions..." he smirked, tapping his chin in thought.

xxx

The scene flashed next to economy class, just as Tyler yawned and stretched his arms.

"Good morning, Tyler, how was your sleep?" Ella asked, the camera zooming out a little ways to show her kneeling on the bench next to him and looking his way eagerly.

"Surprisingly not that bad," the jock replied, still a little groggy.

"Good, I was little worried you wouldn't get a good night's sleep since there aren't really any pillows back here," Ella told him. "I'd hate for you to be tired on such a big day, after all."

"Heck yeah," Tyler said, pumping a fist in enthusiastic agreement. "Today's the day we're going to the Final Three, baby, _ex-treme_!" He raised his arms in an excited cheer, earning a giggle from Ella.

"Well, I don't know about _me_ going to the Final Three," she told him with a calm, sweet look, "but I promise I'll do everything I can to make sure _you_ do at least."

"Yeah!" Tyler cheered again. "I'm-" he stopped, then blinked. "Wait, huh?" he asked, giving Ella a confused look.

"I mean, I still don't think that _I_ should be the one to win the competition," Ella explained. "But instead of wasting time feeling sorry for myself, I've decided to take your advice and try my best – to repay your kindness and help _you_ win the million dollars."

Tyler gave her a bewildered look. "... _really_?"

xxx

"Okay, when I told Ella that she should keep trying even though she's messed up a bunch of times," Tyler told the restroom camera, "I meant that she should try to _win_ , y'know, for _herself_. It's not right if she only cares about helping me win," Tyler said. "I mean, don't get me wrong I still wanna win, and I'm fine with her helping me, but I think it's only fair if we help _each other_. Like, I don't want either of us to win because the other one gave up on her!"

He paused, then furrowed his brow in confusion. "Wait, or should it be because the other one gave up on _me_? Or...err...on _ourselves_?"

Tyler frowned, then shook away his confusion. "Look, the point is, she has to wanna win this for _herself_ or it isn't right."

xxx

"Look, I'm, uh, flattered that you wanna help and everything," Tyler said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Just tell me what you need and I'll be happy to do it for you!" Ella said with an odd eagerness that seemed to make Tyler more uncomfortable.

"But, don't you think, like, you should be trying to win too?" Tyler asked her.

Ella sighed and shook her head. "I don't want you to worry about me anymore. I've accepted the fact that I won't, and _shouldn't_ , win the competition. But that doesn't mean the same for _you_ ," she added, putting a hand on his shoulder and smiling softly.

Tyler just groaned, startling Ella a little bit.

/

A faint but ominous tune played as the season's world map was shown, the plane icon flying north from Chile to western Canada.

A flash took the scene to a series of rock formations baking under the sun, the Total Drama Jumbo Jet speeding past between them and knocking a precariously-balanced rock off its perch.

Down below, a small burrowing rodent of some sort was just about to complete a house of cards, unaware of the shadow growing around it. It finally paused and looked up at the whooshing sound that was approaching, just as the boulder landed on top of it, the cards, and its hole.

/

"Welcome to Drumheller, Alberta," Chris told the Final Four, who were had assembled in the barren canyon outside of the plane, its rear tail hatch visibly lowered as a boarding ramp in the background. "A World Heritage Site," the continued, the camera zooming in just enough to show a saurian skeleton imbedded in a distant cliff, "it has the _wickedest_ collection of dinosaur bones on the planet! In front of you is a giant pit with _lots_ of super ancient dino bones." The camera zoomed out to show more of the surrounding canyon, a few fossils visible in the rock walls. "Grab whatever bones you can find to make your very own life-size dino," Chris continued. "I'm calling it, ' _Design_ -a-saurus'!"

Despite the epic music that had played for it three-quarters of the cast groaned at the pun; Ella merely squirmed uncomfortably.

"I know," Chris said with a broad smile, "they should pay me just to come up with titles. I'm that good."

"I...think that one could use just a _little_ work," Ella told him cautiously.

"Yeah," Alejandro snorted, giving her a cocky side glance, "and so could a few _other_ things."

"You have two minutes to rifle through the plane's cargo hold," Chris continued, ignoring the remarks, "and grab what _ever_ you can to help build your creations. Aaaand, _go_!"

At his signal Sugar barged past Ella, knocking her to the ground. Alejandro followed behind her laughing, and Ella hummed in annoyance.

/

The scene cut to the cargo hold, the lowered boarding ramp visible on the left. Sugar and Alejandro were already searching through boxes and crates, though Sugar quickly turned around to scowl as Ella and Tyler arrived.

Ella quickly managed to find a small box of what looked like art supplies inside a larger crate, and smiled. "Ooh, glitter glue! This would be just _perfect_ , don't you think so Tyler?" As she turned to look for the jock, Sugar shoved her away from behind and snatched the box of art supplies.

"If it's glitter, it's _mine_ ," she said forcefully before walking away with the entire box.

Tyler scowled, watching her leave while he helped Ella back to her feet. "Uggh, I can't _believe_ her," he said angrily.

Ella sighed sadly, then brushed a bit of dust off her skirt. "Yes, and now you won't get to use any of that for your dinosaur."

"Uhh, well, I don't think I would've used it anyway," Tyler admitted. "But you shoulda had the chance," he added with a quick glare towards the exit.

"But...what about _your_ dinosaur?" Ella asked in concern. "I thought I could help you build it."

Tyler groaned and palmed his face. "Look, I think you should work on your _own_ dino," he told her a little bit forcefully. "I can build my own, I don't need you to help me, okay?"

"But-" Ella tried to say while Tyler darted away, opened up a cardboard box, and grinned.

"Sweet! This'll come in handy for sure," he said confidently, picking the box up with both arms and running towards the exit. "Good luck!" he called out to Ella as he ran past her.

"But...," Ella repeated, still looking stunned as she watched Tyler leave.

Alejandro, who had been watching in the background, smirked evilly.

/

The footage skipped ahead to show Ella sitting cross-legged on the ground, listlessly scooping away the dirt surrounding what looked like the tip of a larger fossil with her hands. A shadow fell on her back and she looked up and around, the camera turning with her to reveal Alejandro grinning down at her.

"Fancy seeing you out here in the dirt," he taunted. "I thought for sure you'd have stayed in the cargo hold feeling sorry for yourself."

Ella sighed in annoyance. "I promised myself I wouldn't do any of that today," she told him. "So just leave me alone so I can dig out this fossil, okay?"

Alejandro scoffed. "I don't see why you're even bothering. Nobody wants you in the competition anymore, even _Tyler_ said he doesn't want you around."

Ella stiffened. "That...that's not what he meant, and you know it!"

"Oh, I _do_ ," Alejandro replied. "But do _you_?" He turned and walked away laughing, and the camera lingered on Ella's uncertain frown.

The focus shifted to Tyler as he hauled a leg bone as long as he was tall through the barren landscape on his back, eventually collapsing to the ground next to a pile of smaller bones. He grinned and stood up, but immediately scowled again when he saw Sugar standing on the other side of the pile.

"Oh, were these yours?" she asked him. "I'm only askin' 'cause I saw a couple of these fossils that I thought might be nice to have," she continued, holding up a pair of roughly dome-shaped fossils; flat on the bottom but curved and a bit jagged on top. "You mind if I borrow 'em?"

"Yes," Tyler said bluntly. "Why would I help _you_? You're the _enemy_!"

"Well so is Ella but that didn't stop you from helpin' her before," Sugar replied.

"...that's _different_ ," Tyler frowned, kneeling down to sift through the fossils he'd collected. "Me and Ella were working _together_ , we were never really enemies."

Sugar shook her head and tutted. "How can you have made it this far in the game and not realize that _everyone_ is an enemy sooner or later? I mean, I know this is your first time and all, but still..."

Tyler looked at her in narrow-eyed disbelief. "Weren't you eliminated, like, _fourth_ the only other time you played? You _barely_ have any more experience than I do."

"Well...sure," Sugar admitted a tad nervously, "but that was just a _fluke_. I still got to experience the other seasons from up close, plus I have all my pageant wins, so I know what I'm doin' _way_ more than you do."

Tyler just rolled his eyes, and Sugar walked away.

The scene shifted again, going back to the singing princess still digging in the dirt though with the majority of the bone she'd been working on revealed – it seemed to be a sauropod skull almost as big as she was. There was dirt covering her clothes, but she was smiling and humming to herself as she worked to uncover the fossil.

She felt another shadow fall on her, and sighed again. "Hello, Sugar," she said, turning onto her knees to look at the pageant queen. "Here to try and make me miserable too, I presume?"

Sugar smiled and chuckled. "Well, if ya want me to," she shrugged, "I bet I can think of _somethin_ ' like that. Let's see...," she tapped her chin in thought, "you ever think that how since me an' Al have already tried to stab you in the back that it's only a matter of time before Tyler does too?" She grinned expectantly, but Ella just sighed in resignation and turned back to her digging.

"Yes, Alejandro already told me something like that," she told the pageant queen. "I don't really think it's _true_ , though."

"And why's that?" Sugar asked with her hands on her hips. "Didja forget that only _one person_ can win the million? The only reason to be nice to _you_ anymore is because you'd be easy to beat in the finale!"

"Well...I _suppose_ ," Ella admitted, "but unlike you and Alejandro I think _Tyler_ is actually _kind_."

Sugar stared at her in disbelief, then chuckled some more. "You really _are_ exactly what you look like, ain't ya?"

/

The scene flashed to Alejandro down on all fours, picking through a small pile of small bones. "This will never do," he said as he casually tossed one over his shoulder. "Mmm, nor this," he said to another. "Ah, perfection!" he said to a third after a short pause.

/

Ella was shown next, pushing her fully-excavated sauropod skull across the bare ground. She stopped after a few seconds, wiped the sweat from her brow but smudging it with dirt in the process, then bent over to pick up a few smaller bones – one looked like a rib, the other an arm bone.

/

Tyler adjusted one of the dome-like fossils as though it were a picture hanging on a wall, the camera zoomed in so that all that could be seen of his creation was the dome-like fossil attached to the end of a long, curved spine.

/

Sugar squeezed a tube with all her might, and grinned at the glittery pink glue that squirted out of it and onto the tip of a rib bone.

/

"Time's up!" Chris declared, the footage skipping forward one more time. "Now we'll begin the amazing tour through the ages of imaginary dinosaurs. Let's start with Alejandro."

The shot cut to Alejandro, looking smug. "I can do better than imaginary," he said confidently, turning around as the camera zoomed out to show the complete skeleton of what looked like an actual dinosaur standing behind him. "This impressive fellow is the _Allosaurus_ ," he explained, "and yes, that's his real name."

"Whoa," Tyler said in awe as he, Ella, and Sugar were shown looking at the first creation.

"That _does_ look impressive," Ella admitted with a hint of nervousness.

Sugar just snorted and crossed her arms. "Whatever, it's just a big lizard."

"It's gonna be tough to beat that right out of the gate," Chris told her.

"Pfft, I don't even gotta _try_ to beat that thing," Sugar scoffed before clearing her throat and turning to the side. "Feast yer eyes upon the most beautiful and talented of _all_ the dinosaurs," she introduced, "the magnificent _Sugarsaurus_!"

The shot zoomed out dramatically, revealing the pageant queen's creation – a mass of bones built into a humanoid form with its 'hands' on its hips and the skull of a _Triceratops_. It was covered fairly artfully with glitter, mostly from the pink glitter glue that held it together and formed a pattern that was highly reminiscent of Sugar's outfit.

"The _Sugarsaurus_ is a _born_ winner," Sugar explained. "Top of the food chain, too!"

"Cool, cool," Chris said with a few shallow nods. "Woulda preferred something more in a _Chris_ asaurus, or maybe a Chris _ceratops_ , but this works. T-man, what do you got?" he asked the jock.

"Meet the _Goalieraptor_ ," Tyler said, enthusiastically pointing to his creation – it stood about shoulder height, with a long fossil spine parallel to the ground atop mismatched hip and leg bones. The dome-like fossil formed a facemask-like 'head'; its arms, little more that a single long bone each, were lined with more of the dome-like fossil and were 'holding' a goalie's hockey stick; and it had a soccer ball under one foot. "Part of a team of _ancient dinosaur athletes_ , the _Goalieraptor_ defended his team's net with _extreme fiercenessness_ ," Tyler explained with numerous enthusiastic hand gestures.

Alejandro smirked. "Nice, ah, choice of _head_ ," he told the jock.

"Thanks," Tyler said, rubbing his nose cockily then knocking against the dome-like fossil. "These thing are light but they look pretty sturdy, so I figured they'd make _great_ protective gear."

"Ah, I doubt that," Alejandro told him. "Those are _coprolite_ fossils."

"Copra-who?" Tyler asked in confusion.

"Coprolite," Alejandro repeated. "From Ancient Greek – 'kopros' meaning dung, and 'lite' meaning stone."

Tyler looked at him blankly for a second before widening his eyes in realization. "Aww man, that makes my guy a _poo-head_!"

Sugar immediately burst out laughing.

"Ella," Chris interrupted in annoyance, " _please_ rescue us from Tyler's suckitude."

Ella nodded, and a touching tune played as she began her introduction. "My imaginary dinosaur is the _Upsidedownadon_ ," she said, the camera zooming out and panning over to her creation. Its central feature was the sauropod skull which had been turned upside down, and seemed to formed the bulk of both the 'body' and the 'head'. A short piece of spine jutted out from the 'top' of it, and quickly branched out via several giant ribs and a few other bones, forming four distinct legs that lifted the skull-body off the ground. The entire thing was somewhat disorienting to look at.

"It's form represents the confusion of having your life change so suddenly that you don't know which way is up," Ella explained. "In a _general_ sense, anyway."

"Whoa," Tyler said in awe. "That's...pretty heavy," he told Ella.

"Yes, it is," Ella replied. "I'm honestly surprised I got it all put together in time."

"No," the jock shook his head, "I mean, like, it's deep and stuff."

"Oh, well, I just tried to build what I've been feeling lately," Ella said bashfully. "You know, after finding out about Alejandro and Sugar's betrayal." The two in question were quickly shown looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Well it's _awesome_ ," Tyler said. "I'm seriously proud of you, I _knew_ you could build something cool if you just tried!" He promptly hugged her.

"Oh my," Ella said, blushing faintly. "Thank you Tyler."

"Enough mush," Chris interrupted sharply. "Iiiit's judgment day! Which dinos will survive, and which ones will be driven to extinction?" he asked the camera as he walked past the Alejandro and his creation, then Sugar and hers to stand between her, Tyler, and Ella with Alejandro walking over to join shortly after.

"Oh, and did I mention who the very special _judges_ are?" Chris asked the cast. " _You_!" he announced to a short drumroll and angelic chorus as he pointed at the Final Four. "With a pretty _shocking_ twist, of course!"

/

The scene skipped forward to a close-up of a large battery, jumper cables connecting it to an electric chair that currently had Sugar sitting in it. "What is this, some kinda truth-tellin' chair?" she asked, looking down at the device skeptically.

"Pretty much," Chris answered. "It's time to vote for your _fave_ dino," he said. "Can't vote for your own, of course, aaand ya _might_ wanna tell the truth. Just sayin'."

"Hrmm," Sugar said in displeasure before adopting a fake smile. "Well, if I can't vote fer my own than I guess Alejandro's was second best." She was promptly electrocuted, a puff of smoke coming from her mouth when it stopped.

Chris chuckled. "Yeah, might wanna tell the truth there Sugar!" he told her.

Sugar huffed. " _Fine_ , Ella's dumb upside-down thing reminded me of a buncha stuff, and I can kinda _appreciate_ the feelin' that went into it even though I don't like like who was doin' the feelin', okay?" she forcibly admitted.

"See, that wasn't so _hard_ ," Chris told her with a grin before turning around and calling out "Next!"

/

Alejandro as next in the chair. "I suppose I'll repay Sugar's attempted favor by voting for her _Sugarsaurus_ ," he said, immediately getting electrocuted. "Fine," he bitterly corrected. "I too find myself unwillingly _sympathizing_ with Ella's genuine emotion."

"Good enough," Chris told him. "Next!"

/

Ella was third in the chair. "Although I will admit that Sugar's creation has a certain glittery _charm_ to it," she began, "I find Tyler's to be the most creative, even if I'm a _teensy_ bit squeamish about the, um, coprolite."

"Hey, whatever floats your pile of fossilized dino poo," Chris said with a shrug. "Next!"

/

"Although I _do_ still think Al's _Allosaurus_ is pretty cool," Tyler admitted, "Ella's sweet upside-down bronto-thingy totally blows it away. It's not even close!"

"You...you all _really_ like my dinosaur?" Ella asked in mute awe, looking at the other contestants – Tyler grinned and gave her a thumbs-up, while Alejandro and Sugar looked away with awkward discomfort while murmuring something indecipherable.

"As the winner," Chris announced, a triumphant tune playing as the camera pulled back, "Ella gets this handy-dandy post digger!"

Chef was shown delivering the large two-handled power tool to the rather bewildered singer. "Post digger?" she said as she took hold of the thing. "What am I supposed to-" She pressed a button on the machine, turning it on and causing the drill bit to spin. She yelped and let go of it in shock, causing the digger to move around wildly under the power of its own vibrations. As chance would have it it headed straight towards Alejandro and Sugar, forcing them to scatter as Ella rushed to catch up to the machine and regain control of it. "Sorry!" she said as a dramatic tune played in the background.

"Ella versus the post digger!" Chris said, sliding in front of the camera. "See who wins next," the post digger continued along behind him, dragging Ella with it, "right here on Total Drama World Tour!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode faded back in to a close-up of the Chris logo emblazoned on the side of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet's tail fin. "Welcome back to resource rich Alberta, Canada," the host greeted as the camera panned down to him, the Final Four, and a pair of interns standing by the open rear of the plane. Ella had regained control of her post digger, and a pyramid of oil drums stood behind the host.

"The interns were _supposed_ ," the two interns looked down in shame, "to bury these barrels of maple syrup, sugar, spiders, and rattlesnakes," Chris explained, knocking on the top barrel causing it to rattle and hiss. The cast flinched in fear. "Long story short, the interns buried our reserve _fuel barrels_ instead," the host continued angrily, knocking the top barrel over onto the interns. The lid fell off immediately, and while the black intern ran screaming the white intern was quickly covered in a swarm of angry snakes and spiders.

"Since Tyler came in second," Chris said holding up a pickaxe and metal pan, "he gets this rusty old prospector kit."

"Woo! Yeah!" Tyler cheered excitedly as he caught the tools that were tossed to him.

"And Sugar takes _third_ place!" the host added, the camera panning to the pageant queen as the host approached her holding a small plastic pail and shovel, the former red and the latter yellow.

"Uh, ain't these kiddie toys?" she asked skeptically.

"You're welcome," Chris told her. "And for coming in dead last...!" he said, looking towards the final teen with empty hands.

"How am I _last_ when I created the only realistic dinosaur?" Alejandro asked in disbelief. "Aww, that has to get me _something_?"

Chris laughed, a whistle now in his hand. "Yeah, you'd think so," he told the charmer. "First one back with a barrel of my oil wins immunity! Oh, and we won't take off until all the barrels are back on the plane, so don't slack off once the first one is found."

"Huh," Tyler said blankly as he looked around, the perspective following his gaze across the wide barren landscape. "I'm thinking this is gonna take a _while_."

"There _is_ a lot of ground to cover," Alejandro added before the shot cut back to the cast.

"Oh! I forgot to mention!" Chris spoke up. "We'll be pummeling you with the occasional boulder." He laughed, then added " _Funny_ , right?"

The Final Four just glared at him, and the whistle was blown.

/

A trilling tense tune played as the scene flashed ahead to some isolated spot in the rocky badlands, the camera panning to the right onto Alejandro digging with his hands. He was looking rather annoyed, and even more so when Sugar walked up behind him with her little plastic pail and shovel in hand.

She chuckled. "Wow, never thought I'd see _you_ diggin' in the dirt like a dog!"

"Well it's not like I have much of a _choice_ ," Alejandro replied bitterly, not looking her way as he dug harder and not-quite-accidentally flung a bit of dirt her way, "since Chris apparently thinks _your_ creation was better."

"Can't really blame him fer that," Sugar said with a shrug. "Anyways, if you want you can borrow my kiddie shovel after I'm done with it," she offered.

Alejandro stopped digging to give her a look of disbelief. "Okay, first of all that would be _pointless_ as you would have already won the challenge. And second, I don't _need_ your help," he said irritably before returning to his work. "If Ella can dig up a giant dinosaur skull with _her_ bare hands, then surely _I_ can dig up a barrel of oil much _faster_."

Sugar stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. "Suit yourself," she told him before walking away.

/

The shot cut to the glaring sun, a hissing sort of tune indicating the heat as the camera panned down on to Tyler. The jock was hard at work with his pickaxe, but paused momentarily to wipe the sweat from his brow.

He lifted the pickaxe to swing again, but stopped when he heard something approaching.

"Sorry," Ella said, the shot moving to her and showing her dragging the post digger behind her. "I hope you don't mind if I dig near you. I'm not really comfortable using this when I'm alone, and I don't trust the others to really help me if I lose control of it again."

"Oh, yeah, sure," Tyler told her before completing his swing. "Just, y'know, remember that you gotta win this for your _self_."

"Right," Ella nodded, adjusting the post digger as the metallic clinks of Tyler digging were heard just off-camera. "It's funny, I never really _thought_ about what I was doing in challenges until recently. I always just...did what I thought I should, even if that wasn't always strictly following Chris' directions."

"That so?" Tyler asked idly, still digging a hole in the ground.

"Mmm," Ella said, leaning on the inactive post digger and not really looking at him. "So when everything _happened_ I think I just assumed that since I had been such a _fool_ that was the only reason I was still in the game. But between you trying to cheer me up so much and then everyone voting for the _Upsidedownadon_ to win I'm starting to think that's not the case."

"Well _yeah_ ," Tyler said, giving her a smile as she looked at him. "Just because you've messed up some thing doesn't mean you haven't done _other_ things right. Right?"

"Yes, I think so," Ella nodded. "And with any luck, one of those things will be finding a barrel of oil out here."

Tyler nodded again, but it quickly changed to shock and alarm as he noticed something approaching off-screen. "Whoa, look out!" he shouted, tackling Ella out of the way just as a boulder crashed down in the spot she'd been standing.

/

The scene flashed to Chef Hatchet, sweating heavily as he carried another boulder to the bucket of a catapult. He set it in place, then leaned against it to catch his breath in the harsh heat.

"This, is the life," Chris said, the shot zooming out to show him standing at the front of the catapult holding some kind of drink in half a coconut. He casually leaned against the siege weapon, accidentally pushing the lever and causing it to launch the boulder – and a screaming Chef – into the air.

"Uh oh...," the host said as he watched his assistant fly off.

/

The shot cut back to Tyler and Ella, focusing on the discarded pickaxe and pan before panning leftward to Tyler and Ella lying on the ground next to the boulder and post digger.

"Whoa," the jock said, holding his head as he started to pick himself up off the ground. "That was too close."

"Thank you for saving me," Ella added with a blush as the two stood back up. "I really _do_ owe you a lot, huh?"

"Don't worry about it," he told her. "Seriously, I don't want you trying to help _me_ win instead of yourself again." As he spoke, a familiar scream rose up in the background just before Chef and the boulder he was clinging to flew past behind Tyler and Ella.

"I know," Ella replied as Chef landed with a crash just out-of-sight. "Although I still don't know if I can _really_ win the entire competition, I'll at least give it a shot." In the background, Chef ran back the way he'd flown in from with a look of fierce determination on his face.

"Cool," Tyler said. "Now let's get back to digging." Ella nodded, and the two picked up their tools.

They spent a few seconds in relative silence, Tyler swinging his pickaxe while Ella finally turned the post digger back on and just managed to control it. After a bit of work, though, she looked back over at the jock and loudly asked "Tyler? Do you...want me to make the finale with you?"

"Huh?" Tyler said, looking back at her as well. "Oh, yeah, of course I do."

"...may I ask why?" Ella asked, looking concerned as he looked away.

"Well, it's not like I wanna go up against Sugar or Al," Tyler answered with a jovial smile.

Ella stopped the post digger, looking even more worried. "So...you think I'll be the easiest to beat?"

Tyler stopped as well, and gave her a look of surprise. "What? No! If we went up against each other in the finale, I really don't know if I could win. You're more, like, graceful and stuff, plus you're like the best singer I've ever heard. But I'd rather lose to _you_ than to either of the others."

"Oh," Ella said, blushing more sharply than before. "I see. Although I think you're being a little _hard_ on yourself, you'll beat me easily if the final challenge is at _all_ physical."

Tyler chuckled. "Maybe you're right. I guess we'll just have to see how things end up once we're in the finale." He extended his hand to her.

"Yes, I suppose we will," Ella replied, smiling as she took it. The two shook hands, then resumed digging.

The jock's next first swing resulted in a metallic clang beneath the dirt. "I hit something!" Tyler exclaimed excitedly, prompting Ella to stop the post digger so she could look alongside him.

A particular thick black liquid was oozing up around the spot Tyler's pickaxe has struck. "Oil!" the two teens exclaimed at once.

/

The scene skipped ahead to a close-up of the oil barrel being rolled across the ground, a trickle of oil leaking from a small hole in the side near the lid.

"Congratulations on winning, Tyler," Ella said as the shot zoomed out to show the jock rolling the barrel, "you deserve it."

"Thanks," Tyler said, taking a quick break.

"Would you like me to help you roll it back to the plane?" Ella offered.

"Naw, I got it," Tyler said with a smile and wave of dismissal. "You keep digging, we aren't gonna leave until all the barrels are found, remember?"

"Good idea," Ella said, grabbing hold of her post digger. "I suppose I'll also talk to Sugar or Alejandro if I see one of them, maybe they'll be willing to vote for each _other_ this time."

"Might as well try," Tyler shrugged, and the two parted ways.

/

The scene flashed over to another part of the canyon, currently filled with several shallow holes and accompanying mounds of dirt.

Another familiar scream was heard approaching, and Chris soon fell from the sky clinging to another boulder...which landed on top of him.

The camera quickly panned leftward to where Alejandro was frantically digging another hole. "Must...find...barrel...," he muttered to himself, flinging dirt behind him. A dramatic tune played as he suddenly stopped and grinned, the shot cutting in for a closer look and revealing the metal surface he'd just uncovered.

"Finalmente!" he exclaimed, hurriedly resuming his digging.

A shadow fell on his back a few seconds later, and the perspective changed again to reveal it as Ella. "...Fancy seeing you here, out in the dirt," she opened awkwardly.

Alejandro stopped and briefly looked back over his shoulder to glare at her. "Ha ha," he said bitterly. "I'll have you know that _I've_ just found a barrel! You might as well give up _now_ because with this your elimination is _guaranteed_!"

"Umm, _about_ that," Ella said, mashing her fingers together awkwardly.

/

Another flash took the focus to the plane, where Chef was outside tending to a grill. He looked up from the sizzling burgers and hot dogs when he heard the telltale pants of exertion, and saw Tyler approaching with the leaking barrel.

"Congratulations boy, you won the challenge!" Chef greeted as the jock rolled the fuel barrel up next to the plane.

"Thanks, guy," Tyler said, turning the barrel upright so that the leaking hole was closer to the top...and still flowing slightly. "Where's Chris?"

Chef shrugged mischievously. "He's around here _somewhere_. But anywho, now that you've won yourself immunity you get to hang out here at the Final Three Barbecue."

"Yeah," the voice of Chris McLean suddenly said, Chef and Tyler and the camera looking over to see him approaching, looking none the worse for wear. "It's gonna be a rare chance to hang with the host with the most!" he said, giving the jock a cheesy grin while pointing to himself.

"Thanks, but not right now," Tyler told them. "I still got some stuff to do. I'll see ya later."

He ran off, leaving Chris and Chef to share a confused look and shrug. "Yeah, I don't get him," Chris said idly, Chef handing him a hotdog.

/

"Oh yeah," Sugar said as the scene cut to a close-up of her digging out an oil barrel of her own with the kiddie shovel, "it's gonna be another win fer _Sugar_!"

"Hey!" The shout came from behind, causing the pageant queen to pause and turn around as Tyler ran up to her. "There you are, I was looking for you!"

"Really?" Sugar asked with a hint of skepticism. "What, did you finally realize you don't got a chance to beat me and decided to help me dig?"

"Uhh, no?" Tyler replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, so then you must be here to cut a deal so I don't vote fer you tonight, is that it?" Sugar asked next.

"No...," Tyler answered.

"Huh...," Sugar said, rubbing her chin in confusion. "Then you musta finally realized how much of a strategic genius I am and come fer advice!"

"Uhh...," Tyler began, more taken aback than ever.

It was then that Chris entered the scene, accompanied by the dings and icon that signaled a musical number. "Guess what!" he told Sugar and Tyler, grinning impishly.

~/~

[A fast-paced fiddling tune opened the song, joined after a couple seconds by a banjo, a guitar, and drums.]

" _Well then, partner, come and dance with me; do-si-do around the hole, I'll share my strategy_."

[Sugar opened in time with the quick beat, dancing a country jig and dragging Tyler by the hands over to the other side of the hole she was digging the oil barrel out of. At her lead she and her lost-looking jock of a dance partner jumped over the hole at the same time, keeping each other on their respective rights. Once they landed they took a few steps to the right, then circled backwards around the circle to their original positions.]

" _If you wanna go far, just take it from me; never trust no one, suspicion is the key_."

[Sugar closed her eyes and stuck out a finger, waggling it at Tyler in time with the beat.]

" _If you ever think that maybe you've made friends, realize that they just think they'd beat you in the end_."

[She darted over the whole suddenly, grabbing Tyler into an unwanted side-hug, still waggling her right index finger at him in time with the beat.]

" _That's just how the game is played, I don't mean to offend; 'course it doesn't mean much now so let's just allemande_."

[She shrugged, then hooked her left arm in his, spun around halfway to the left, then let go and stepped away.]

" _Thaaat's not right_!"

[Tyler sung to her in protest.]

" _Do whatever gets ya to the end_!"

[Sugar replied, leaning towards him slightly.]

" _Thaaat's not right_!"

[Tyler repeated, leaning in as well.]

" _Maybe later you can make amends_?"

[Sugar sang, leaning back away and shrugging at the jock.]

" _Do you think that if you win_...?"

[Tyler asked, brow furrowed.]

" _Well at this point the 'if's a 'when'_!"

[Sugar interrupted with a jovial and cocky smirk.]

" _Do you think that if you win that we'll forgive you_?"

[Tyler finished forcefully, startling Sugar slightly.]

"'Cause _iiit's not right_!"

[Tyler sang.]

" _Well, I don't even care though_..."

[Sugar crossed her arms and pouted.]

" _Stiiill not right_!"

[Tyler continued, leaning towards her rather forcefully.]

" _Aww, what do you know_?"

[Sugar replied with a dismissive wave, then walked a few steps away.]

" _I think that I know a lot_..."

[Tyler sang, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.]

" _I think that you're full 'a snot_!"

[Sugar retorted, putting her hands on her hips as she leaned back towards the jock.]

" _I think that I know a lot about how feelings work_."

[Tyler countered, ending the verse with a nod.]

[The focus cut over to Alejandro and Ella, the banjo taking the lead for the second verse of the fast-paced song.]

" _Well then, Ella, let me get this straight, you think I should vote for Sugar and delay your fate_?"

" _Well too bad, I will not take your bait; you'll be going home tonight so just sit back and wait_."

" _Your strategy is pa-the-tic, just like you are too; just like every other thing that you have tried to do_!"

" _You don't deserve to be here, you know that it's true! All of us have done so much more in this game than you_."

[As Alejandro sang he clapped his hands and stomped his feet in time with the beat, then hooked Ella's left arm with his own and forced her to spin with him. He let her go at the end of his second line, only to quickly grab her right hand in his and pull her in so that they were face-to-face as he delivered the third and fourth lines in a condescending tone.]

" _Thaaat's not right_!"

[Ella objected shoving herself and Alejandro apart.]

" _I don't know why you cannot see_..."

[Alejandro replied, shaking his head in disappointment.]

" _Thaaat's not right_!"

[Ella repeated, her brow creasing slightly in thought.]

" _That you're only here because of me_!"

[Alejandro shook his head, then made a proud motion to himself.]

" _Do you really think that's true_?"

[Ella asked, giving him a questioning look.]

" _You should know by now I do_ ,"

[Alejandro answered.]

" _Do you really think that's true, because if so you're wrong_."

[Ella sang, giving Alejandro an almost scolding look that seemed to amuse him more than anything else.]

" _Yeeeah, you're wrong_!"

[Ella continued defiantly.]

" _What do you think you're getting at_?"

[Alejandro asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.]

" _Cleeearly wrong_!"

[The princess added with a knowing and almost mocking smile.]

" _Because you won't convince me that_..."

[Alejandro tried to tell her, shaking his head and holding out a hand for her to stop.]

" _If I'm just here 'cause of you_...!"

[Ella sang, still smiling knowingly.]

" _Which by now is clearly true_!"

[Alejandro replied with a glare.]

" _If I'm just here 'cause of you then so is the reverse_!"

[The line gave Alejandro pause, his eyes widening slightly as the singer leaned towards him and nodded. The fiddle took an increased prominence over the banjo once again as the third verse began.]

" _Ale-jandro, here's a fact to face: if I hadn't voted Zeke then you'd be in his place_!"

[As Ella began the first line she dropped out of the scene, the background fading into a blueprint-like drawing of her, Ezekiel, and Sugar's faces with arrows pointing from one to the next to indicate how they'd voted in Tanzania. Off to the side Alejandro's face had an arrow pointing towards Ezekiel as well, and Tyler's face had an arrow pointing at the charmer. As the line progressed Ella's arrow abruptly switched over to Alejandro, whose icon looked suddenly fearful before it 'fell' off the screen.]

" _Only reason that you're here is 'cause of my mistakes; you're just lucky that I used to take you at your face_."

[The blueprint background cut away to the princess and charmer, the former leaning towards the startled latter and aggressively pointing a finger at his chest. As the line finished, the focus suddenly changed back to Tyler and Sugar in a similar position though with the jock crossing his arms instead.]

" _So then, 'partner', look me in the eyes; and tell me you really think the others won't despise_..."

[He sang to a nervous-looking pageant queen, bobbing his head and tapping his foot to the beat.]

" _You for tricking all them with all of your lies; all of them are mad at you I hope you realize_."

[As he sang the background faded into another blueprint-like drawing, this one showing the eliminated cast members glaring at Sugar with Scott, Sammy, and Ezekiel standing prominently in front; Beardo and Sierra right behind them. Sugar turned her head their way, and the camera cut to a close-up of her disbelieving face.]

" _Thaaat's not true_!"

[Alejandro sang next, the scene of him and Ella facing each other abruptly slamming down over the scene of Tyler and Sugar.]

" _And you might've lost without my love_!"

[Ella sang, motioning behind her to another blueprint-like scene, this one showing herself and Alejandro and Sammy on one side, Scarlett and Sugar on the other. The figure of Ella abruptly changed from staring adoringly at Alejandro to glaring at him, then switched to the other side as the figure of Alejandro suddenly recoiled in fear.]

" _Whaaat are you..._?"

[Sugar sang, the scene of her and Tyler slamming down into the forefront once more as she looked at the jock questioningly.]

" _And without them you'd have gotten shoved_!"

[The jock pointed out, grinning darkly and miming someone getting shoved out of an airplane.]

" _I got here all by myself_!"

[Alejandro sang, his close-up taking over the screen.]

" _No, I got here all by myself_!"

[Sugar repeated, appearing in the left half of a split-screen facing Alejandro's defiant close-up.]

" _Yes I got here all by myself, I never needed help_."

[Sugar and Alejandro sang simultaneously, their respective cameras moving away to show Tyler and Ella 'back to back' on the split screen, each looking unimpressed.]

" _Whaaat about_...?"

[Tyler sang as the right half of the split-screen disappeared and the camera readjusting so that he and Sugar could both be seen. He motioned to yet another blueprint-like background, this one depicting no more than a large image of Scott's deviously grinning head.]

" _Like our alliance mattered anyway_..."

[Sugar sang, crossing her arms and turning her back to the jock in continued defiance.]

" _Iiis that so_?"

[Ella sang, her scene moving in from the right; a blueprint-like background depicted Sammy hesitating between Staci and Alejandro on the left, and Shawn and Dawn on the right.]

" _Well I would've found a way to stay_!"

[Alejandro replied, leaning back towards the singer with his hands on his hips.]

" _Well I think that the Final Four_ ,"

[Tyler sang, a close-up of him 'swinging' down on the left-hand side of the screen.]

" _Oh I think that the Final Four_ ,"

[Ella sang, the right half of the new split-screen adjusting to show her.]

" _Yeah I think that the Final Four all made it what it is_."

[The jock and princess sang at the same time, their cameras moving back to their current singing partners to show both looking uncomfortable.]

" _Don't for-get I've won some challenges; do not try to argue that I am not talented_!"

[Ella sang, her half of the split-screen taking over. She waggled her finger at Alejandro in time with the beat, every other time causing the blueprint background to shift into a depiction of one of her challenge wins – beating Staci in Greece; the wedding challenge in Niagara Falls; the eating challenge in China; and the _Upsidedownadon_.]

" _If it isn't clear, I don't like your strategy; all it does is make us wanna vote you out with glee_!"

[Tyler sang next, his scene with Sugar sliding back in from the left. The blueprint background this time depicted the jock getting ready to vote; Sugar's passport was briefly shown before his image hammered the stamp down on it in time with the music.]

" _I deserve to be here, just as much as you; just because I didn't win you shouldn't think I'm through_!"

[Ella and Alejandro slid in from the right once again, this time without any artificial background. Ella did, however, forcibly hook left arms and spin around with him.]

" _Promenade right, and since you've hurt your friends, nobody will cheer for you if you get to the end._ "

[Tyler forced Sugar into a basic square dance promenade position at his side, then walked counterclockwise around the hole then spin her around into it at the end.]

" _Thaaat's not true_!"

[Alejandro sang, the split-screen resuming once more to show his defiance becoming a little more nervous.]

" _So what if I was a fool_?"

[Ella shrugged as the camera panned to her.]

" _Thaaat ain't true_!"

[Sugar sang, pulling herself back out of the hole.]

" _Did you think that we'd look up to you_?"

[Tyler asked her with a look of genuine disbelief.]

" _I know that I've made mistakes_ ,"

[Ella sang next, the right-side camera zooming in on her.]

" _And maybe it'll make me ache_ ,"

[Tyler added, the left-side camera zooming in on him as well.]

" _Still I think I have what it takes to win the million_!"

[The two sang together, finally ending the song.]

~/~

"Hmmph," Alejandro scoffed, a deep note playing as he and Ella took over the scene. "I will _enjoy_ crushing your newfound confidence in the tiebreaker this evening," he told her before turning his attention back to the oil barrel he'd been digging up.

"What makes you think that Tyler and I will be voting for you?" Ella asked.

"Why _wouldn't_ you?" Alejandro replied, turning back to her with a brow raised in confusion. "I'm clearly the bigger threat. Although even Sugar could easily beat _you_ in a tiebreaker."

"Then why not vote for _her_ instead of _me_?" Ella asked. Alejandro laughed and turned his back on her again, but she persisted. "I'm serious, if I'm _really_ as weak as you think I am, then why not just take me to the finale so you get an easy win?"

Alejandro paused in thought for a moment. "Well...Sugar's weak too," he finally answered. "I'll win easily no matter _who_ I eliminate."

"Really?" Ella asked skeptically. "You know how _strong_ Sugar is, in both her muscles and her stomach. I'm surprised you'd risk the final challenge playing more to _her_ strengths than to _yours_."

Alejandro gave her a haughty scoff. "Don't bother. Had I won invincibility I'd have gladly joined you, but as it is now I _know_ you're just trying to make it easier to eliminate me."

Ella sighed and let him go back to work. "Well, I tried," she said, turning her back on him and taking a step away...then pausing again. "Though I do think I've finally realized something about you, Alejandro," she said, the camera cutting to a head-on look of her face with Alejandro crouched down in the dirt behind her.

"And that is...?" the charmer asked, the perspective shifting to his face with Ella standing behind him.

"That you _truly_ don't want to face me in the finale," Ella said, causing Alejandro's eyes to go wide. "And not just because I'm _annoying_ , either. I don't know if it's guilt over how you betrayed me, or if it's something else, but...I think you're _scared_ of me, Alejandro."

The camera angle returned to its usual side-on position as Alejandro stood up and turned back to face her, and Ella walked away.

xxx

"What was _that_?!" Alejandro asked the confessional camera in alarm. "I'm not _scared_ of her, I'm not even _worried_! Even _with_ that unexpected level of determination she displayed just now..."

xxx

A longer dramatic tune played as the scene cut to Sugar and Tyler, the pageant queen also having resumed her dig.

"Look," Tyler told her with a no-nonsense expression, "I don't like you. I don't wanna _work_ with you, and I don't want you to _win_. But between you and Alejandro, I'd rather go up against _you_. He's just too good at too many things!"

Sugar stopped digging and looked back over her shoulder at him. "Yeah, and?" she said with an impatient expression.

"And I think you should vote for _him_ instead of _Ella_ ," Tyler said. "I know you don't like _her_ and you don't trust _me_ , but I'm being honest here: I'm going to vote for Alejandro tonight, and so will Ella. If you do too, then nobody will have to worry about beating him in the finale. Whaddaya say?"

Sugar paused, narrowed her eyes, then...grinned brightly. "Well sure! I was thinkin' that maybe I should try to go up against Ella in the finale anyways, just to make finally _crushin_ ' her all the more satisfyin'. Why didn't you just tell me you were gonna vote fer Al earlier?"

Tyler groaned and palmed his face. "That's what I was trying to say before the _song_..."

/

The footage flashed ahead, showing Alejandro and Sugar arriving at the plane with their barrels at the same time. Ella and Tyler followed behind them and shared a quick glance, causing Tyler to flash a grin and thumbs-up towards the singer.

"An accident, I presume?" Alejandro asked Tyler after bending down to examine the small oil slick that had formed at the base of Tyler's barrel.

"I was using a _pickaxe_ and it was on its _side_ ," Tyler explained with a shrug.

"Well, so long as we're careful it should be fine," Alejandro said as he and Sugar turned their own barrels upright near the first. "Let's go find the last one."

"Good, the sooner this day's over with the better," Sugar added as the four turned and headed back out into the badlands.

xxx

"Well, here's hoping that everything goes okay tonight," Tyler told the restroom camera. "But even if it doesn't and Ella has to go home, then at least _I'll_ still be able to win." The smile he gave the camera was considerably more determined than confident.

xxx

Crickets were chirping as the footage resumed, the camera pulling away from a close-up of a string of Chinese lanterns to show the Final Four assembled on boxes around a nighttime campfire.

"I've got a little season one _tribute treat_ here for you!" Chris told them, holding up a marshmallow. The shot moved in front to show the platter he was holding with two other marshmallows and the stack of passport votes, and he continued. "Remember, _Tyler_ has invincibility so there better not be _any_ votes against him. So, Tyler, you get tonight's _first_ marshmallow."

He tossed the bit of sugary white fluff to the jock, who caught it, fumbled, and caught it again. " _Yeah_!" he cheered, pumping his fist. "I always wanted one of these. It's a sign of things come baby, extreme!" He raised his arms to cheer once more, and briefly fumbled the marshmallow again.

"Tonight's second marshmallow goes to," Chris continued, " _Sugar_ , who _also_ had no votes against her."

He tossed the second marshmallow to Sugar, who caught it with an eager and immediately moved to eat it.

"Wait!" Tyler shouted, causing the pageant queen to pause. "I just had an awesome idea. How about I go get some sticks or something from the plane so we can all _roast_ our marshmallows?"

"Ooh, that sounds like a nice idea!" Ella said, clapping cheerfully.

"Fine with me," Chris said with a shrug. "Sugar? You wanna hold off on eating that?"

Sugar looked at her marshmallow, then pursed her lips in thought. "Yeah, I guess. Just make it snappy!" she barked at Tyler.

"But not _too_ snappy," Chris added, "I wanna draw this out a little longer."

"Works for me!" Tyler said, excitedly getting up and running back up the rear boarding ramp.

The tense elimination music continued as the camera cut from the host to the other three contestants in turn as they waited in silence. Chris was smiling slightly impishly; Sugar was growing impatient; Ella was looking nervous; and Alejandro was looking stoic; in the background of all four shot were the faint sounds of Tyler's search.

Eventually, he returned with three wooden skewers, his marshmallow already on one of them. He tossed another to Sugar as he ran past, and the pageant queen quickly slid her marshmallow into place and stuck it in the fire.

"Okay, let's do this," Tyler said confidently, holding on to the last skewer as he started toasting his own symbol of victory.

"Cool," Chris said. "Let's read the remaining votes," he said, picking up the top passport of the stack, "just for a little more suspenseful _fun_. The first vote goes to... _Ella_!"

The elimination music became more dramatic as Ella and Tyler were shown sitting next to her, the jock looking at the singer in concern while the young woman herself folded her hands on her lap, looked down, and bit her lip.

"One for _Alejandro_ ," the host continued, the shot cutting to the two villains as Alejandro let out his breath and Sugar glanced over at him, the marshmallow and stick already in her mouth.

Chris looked at the third passport, and said " _Another_ for Alejandro!"

Alejandro was starting to look a little nervous; he glanced Sugar's way, and she raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged.

Ella was shown closing her eyes and crossing her fingers, and the shot cut back to Chris. "And the last vote goes to... _Alejandro_!"

" _WHAT_?! You voted for _me_?!" the arch-villain exclaimed, standing up in shock and outrage and turning his attention towards Sugar. Ella, meanwhile, let out a relieved breath and happily accepted both the third skewer and the final marshmallow tossed her way by Tyler and Chris respectively.

"Yeah! Say goodbye, _Al_!" Tyler said, standing up victoriously and waving his skewered marshmallow towards the charmer.

It was then he noticed that both were quite a bit more on fire than he'd realized. He hollered in panic and tossed the flaming thing away, and the camera followed it as it arced ominously towards the pool of fuel near the oil barrels.

"Tyler, _no_!" Ella and Chris and even Sugar and Alejandro yelled in alarm as the wide-eyed jock leaped for the flaming skewer in slow motion.

The camera quickly panned rightward to the door at the side of the plane; it slammed open and countless animals ran out – a sasquatch, a bear, a horse, a seal, a duck, a bunch of rats and chipmunks, and Staci at the front of it, shrieking "I _knew_ I should've gotten off sooner!"

The shot cut back to the flaming marshmallow as it continued it's slow-motion descent towards the oil slick, the footage suddenly speeding up again as Tyler failed to catch it before it made contact with the fuel.

The resulting explosion was shown from about a mile away, and the light completely enveloped the once-peaceful nighttime scene.

The dust that had been blown up soon cleared, revealing that the shot had moved back towards the campfire. A tiki head had tipped over and metal debris was falling from the sky, and nobody was seen for about a second before Sugar and Alejandro leaned back out from behind the other tiki head that had been flanking them.

Ella followed shortly after, standing up from behind the tiki that had fallen over and shouting " _Tyler_!" in overwhelming concern.

"My beautiful _plane_!" Chris added, popping up in the foreground grabbing his head in panic and grief. Both he and Ella immediately dashed towards the scene of the explosion, and the camera followed them as they ran.

While Chris continued onwards to the wreckage, Ella stopped at the stunned and charred form of Tyler lying face-down on the ground. She quickly turned him over onto his back, revealing his equally-charred front but fortunately open eyes.

"Tyler, _please_ tell me you're okay!" Ella asked frantically.

"Sorry," Tyler coughed, letting Ella pull him into an upright position, "I couldn't catch it in time."

"Are you okay?" Alejandro asked as he and Sugar slid into the scene, both looking genuinely concerned.

"Dude, do I _look_ okay?" Tyler replied in annoyance as his singed hair crumbled and fell away.

"Uhh, Chris?" Sugar asked nervously, looking off in the direction the host had ran. "Chris?"

"Aww, he's _fine_ ," the host said angrily, standing in the wreckage holding what looked like a flatscreen television. "Although I guess with the whole ' _blowing up my plane' business_ ," he said, the camera zooming out dramatically to show the full extent of the wrecked Total Drama Jumbo Jet, "he's _OUTTA THE GAME_!" A suitably dramatic riff played during the announcement, and the four teens were shown looking stunned.

Alejandro's expression was the first to change, becoming one of hope. "So...the Final Three? It's Ella, Sugar, and _me_?"

"I guess it's up to you now, Ella," Tyler croaked at the stunned singer.

"Aww, fudge knuckles," Sugar muttered, snapping her fingers in defeat.

Alejandro turned a wide and almost vicious smile her way. "Looks like you won't be rid of me as easily as you expected! It's a shame, too – now you have no _chance_ of beating me."

Sugar snorted. "Get real," she told him. "I'll admit that beatin' you in the finale won't be as easy, but I'm _still_ gonna do it! Ain't _nothin_ ' can stop me from being' crowned _Queen_ of this here pageant!" She cracked her knuckles in an almost threatening manner, and smirked cockily.

"Oh yeah?" Alejandro replied defiantly.

" _Yeah_!" Sugar told him.

"Well then," Alejandro snapped, the music turning tenser and more ominous as it panned away from the arguing villains and onto the shell-shocked singer, "I guess we'll just have to wait and see since it's _obvious_ that we're who'll be in the finale!" Ella shut her eyes tight.

" _Yeah_!" Sugar repeated off-screen.

The camera zoomed in as Ella's eyes snapped back open, revealing the fire reflected in them...

/

The music abruptly cut away as the scene flashed over to a shot of the slightly-singed picture of Chris on the plane's tail fin, a soft and emotional tune soon replacing it.

"Well...," Chris began, audibly distraught, "this is not my best day...ever..." The camera panned down to show him standing amid the wreckage, eyes wide with shock and grief. "Join us next time," his voice cracked, "there... _will_ be a next time, 'm just...not...sure what kinda _show_ it will be," he said, holding back tears as he put his hands behind his back, "or _where_... It will still be called," he struggled to say, raising his right pointer finger as the usual grand music began to play, "Total! Drama! ...world tour...!"

His voice cracked again at the end, and he squeaked out the last two words before finally bursting into tears.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

I'll take a deep breath, and so should you. As is becoming usual, there's a lot to say right now.

First, the elimination. As with the last few, I did go back and forth on who I wanted to cause the plane to explode - both Ella and Alejandro were in the running for this one, as well as Tyler. Alejandro was in the running longer, simply because it would be more unexpected to get rid of him at this stage. And regardless of who I went for, I almost certainly would have kept all the ominous foreshadowing of Tyler's loss intact just to throw everyone off - get you all to think he was going home, then at the last minute have it be Ella or Alejandro instead.

So why did I go for Tyler, exactly? Well...it's hard to say right now. A lot of it has to do with how I decided I wanted episodes 25 and 26 to play out, which would require Tyler being the one who regrettably got the boot. Although I won't deny that an early inclination that Tyler, lovable klutz that he is, would be the most natural choice to unintentionally cause such a huge disaster. Maybe you agree with my choice, maybe you don't, but it is what it is.

Next up is this week's song, titled 'Drumheller Hoedown'. Despite how long it seems, it is actually about the same length as 'This is How We Will End It', just much faster. The melody is based primarily on Reg Bouvette's cover of folk song 'Whiskey Before Breakfast', which you can find on youtube by searching for 'reg bouvette whiskey before breakfast' or something like that.

This song was one of the first to earn it's title, way back before I'd even begun work on the season, since I already knew that Sugar would be the main villain and figured it would be the perfect place to have a big 'villain song' for her, mirroring Alejandro's canon song. Unfortunately, when I ended up actually writing the song I realized that i needed something a little bit different than a straight villain song, so while there are still some elements of it I ended up giving some attention to Alejandro and Ella too, making the song more of a 'heroes reject the villains' type of thing. I'm sorry if this disappointed anyone (I know StayOuttaMyShed in particular was looking forward to a smug and overconfident villain song from Sugar), but it just didn't happen. But, there may still be some room for 'villain song' elements elsewhere, since Sugar _is_ still in the game...

Oh, and despite those regrets, I am still proud of this song. It might just be my best original set of lyrics yet, and I really think I conveyed exactly what I wanted to. And considering how nervous I was to be writing it in basically a single day, and the trouble I had figuring out the rhythm of the lyrics, I just...I like it a lot, and even if it isn't what you may have been hoping for I hope all of you like it too.

Next week is the final Aftermath of the entire Shuffled series, where the ex-contestants (save Tyler and Staci) will have a chance to give their favorite member of the Final Three - Ella, Alejandro, and Sugar - an advantage in the final challenge. Who will do the competing? And who will ultimately win?

Find out next time, dear readers.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (18th Place)

Lightning - (17th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (16th Place)

Geoff - (15th Place)

Scott - (14th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (13th Place)

Sierra - (12th Place)

DJ - (11th Place)

Shawn - (10th Place)

Staci - (9th Place)

Sammy - (8th Place)

Blaineley - (Tied for 7th Place)

Dawn - (Tied for 7th Place)

Ezekiel - (5th Place)

Tyler - (4th Place | Disqualified?)


	24. Chapter 24 - Hawaiian Style

**Author's Note**

The final aftermath. Even just knowing that we're here is still...surreal to me. Like, this Saturday I'll be putting the finishing touches on next week's episode, and on Sunday I begin work on the finale of Total Shuffled World Tour. It seems like so many things are coming to a head right now, both in this fic and in my life...

But, ah, that's not too important right now. Let's focus on this week's reviews, and then the episode, okay?

 **Eternal Nexus Warrior:** Yeah, I think a lot of people figured it was going to be a newbie who left last week. I'm glad you think my choice made sense.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Yeah, kind of. I mean, it was always going to be something like that, as I couldn't just not have the plane explode.

 **Boggie445:** Hmm...well, you'll have to wait another week to see how Ella manages to make her way south to Mexico, I'm afraid. But I hope you enjoy what happens then.

 **DSX62415:** Hah, I think we're all awaiting the final two episodes...but they're still a week away, so until then i hope you enjoy the final aftermath of the Shuffled series.

 **Guest #1:** Glad to know you like Tyler so much! I hope you enjoy what happens these last few chapters.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Yeah, it would've thrown a lot of people off...but I think it would come at the cost of a less exciting Aftermath and episode 25 since there'd only be two people competing. And yeah, the 'Whose Line' hoedown song...doesn't exactly fit 'Whiskey Before Breakfast'. I'm glad you still enjoyed the episode, though.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Thanks! I'm glad I was able to do good with the character development last week, and the song as well - like you said, it had a lot to say. As for your predictions of things to come...well, you'll have to wait another week to find out what happens on that front.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you as always. And yeah, as disappointing as it was to have to eliminate Tyler, he still made the most sense to me.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yeah, I can't say that I'm surprised. Still a bit disappointed that you don't see Ella as a good finalist, but I suppose it can't really be helped that you just don't like her. I am glad you enjoyed the rest of the episode, though, and your description of how Alejandro could have caused the plane to explode is pretty much exactly what I had in mind when considering how a potential Alejandro elimination might go down as I was writing out last week's episode. And the song...yeah, I'm really happy that you and pretty much everyone else loved it so much, I really do think it was my best original song this season - though I do see your point on Ezekiel maybe fitting Tyler's role better because of his deeper connection with Sugar.  
And as for this week's songs...well, I think you're gonna like them.

 **Animation Adventures:** Well to be fair, I did seriously consider Ella as a boot-choice last week. I'm glad you enjoyed the dinosaur building challenges, and yeah I kinda heard Chet in my head when I wrote Tyler's 'poo-head' line, but I think it works for Tyler too. And honestly, even I don't have the clearest mental picture of Ella's dinosaur, but that's kind of the point I think? It's supposed to be something weird and hard to really get a grasp on, being inspired by inner turmoil and all. The oil drum I had to think a bit about, since unlike in canon the leaky one came in first rather than third, so it had been there for a longer time upright - which is why I decided to put the hole where it was, so the oil could still leak a little so it wouldn't, like, dry up or soak into the ground or something.  
I won't spoil what sort of route each contestant takes to get to Tijuana Beach, and as for who competes for which finalist in this week's challenge...well, you'll find out soon enough.

 **mitchn:** No problem! I'm glad you've enjoyed my portrayals of Ella and Tyler; they're both pretty goofy characters but I'm glad I was able to show off an develop their stronger and more noble sides. As for my favorite couples...well in canon, I think it's a tie between Sam/Dakota and Jasmine/Shawn. In the Shuffled verse...well, Sam/Dakota is still up there, and of course I have a huge soft spot for the DJ/Dawn/Sammy trio. Though I also like a couple other couples that haven't shown up yet.

 **I. M. Poik:** Hah...well, sorry to disappoint you yet again. At least there's only three more weeks of this season before Revenge of the Island starts, right? Well, stick in there for the time being. I hope you'll enjoy at least some part of these last few episodes.

 **FOWLKON:** Nah, Ella's not really a baking type, and anyway there wasn't really any special reason for her to make a cake like the one Sierra made for Cody's birthday. Even had I decided to eliminate Ella last week, she would have blown up the plane in a manner similar to what Tyler did with the marshmallow. Chris and Chef getting injured in the background was one of the best parts of the episode, though I did have to figure out the timing of things - which is why Chris wasn't already at the barbecue when Tyler arrived with his barrel. I'm glad you enjoyed Staci's line, and as for her further presence in the last couple episodes...well, you'll have to wait and see.

 **LadyEnigma888:** Yeah, even I'm a little surprised at how sympathetic I made Ezekiel this season. Eliminating him was...a necessary tragedy, I think. I'm glad you liked how I was able to capture Ella's breakdown as well; I'm really happy in general with what I've done with her character this season. And last week's song is easily my favorite as well, at least of my more original works. It really fit just about everything that I needed it to do, and it looks like my readers agree. All in all I'm glad I was able to surprise you last week, and I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the season.

 **bruno14:** Glad to hear it! And yeah, I think even Ella's money is on the post digger to beat her... And yeah, Ella is growing more confident again, which will make her showdown against Alejandro and Sugar over the next two weeks quite exciting, I think. And Sugar proves to be a little hard to predict yet again, though in the end it was for nothing. I hope you enjoy what will happen as the season comes to its end.

 **kaijudude1000:** Thanks! And...yeah, if nothing else I have quite a bit in store or everyone in the next three episodes.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Well, you're right that things last week certainly got heavy...and that Ella has quite a lot to take on if she's to win that million dollars. But this week, as you said, is a nice breather - the calm before the storm, in a way. I hope you enjoy the final Aftermath of the series!

 **Glowing Insanity:** Wow, I'm glad you found things so riveting last week. And yeah, even I wasn't entirely certain who was going to be eliminated in the end...but in the end, I'm happy with what I chose. Alejandro dodged a proverbial bullet like in canon, and things are gonna be pretty tense next week. But for now, an Aftermath that I hope you enjoy.

 **OMAC001:** Well then, I look forward to your reaction to these last three episodes.

 **Knifez:** Well, Alejandro being a canon winner is certainly a point against him, but I'm not going to spoil what happens. I do hope you enjoy these last few episodes regardless of who wins, and there's always the other three seasons to look forward to...

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks as always! And honestly, the plane was always going to blow up, it was just a question of who would do it and who would get saved by it. I'm glad you enjoyed the episode, and Ella getting under the skin of her two opponents.

 **wifishark:** Haha, yeah, always pay attention to the marshmallows you're roasting, especially when there's oil around.

 **Guest #2:** Admittedly this would probably mean more to me if you weren't labeled a guest, but I'm glad you were able to catch up with the story regardless. As for your idea...well, I'm not really planning on doing much of anything in terms of new fanfiction once the Shuffled series ends later this year, so sorry. Maybe someday I'll have the time to write a story like that, but not any time in the near future.

And that's all for now! As always the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next. Though you won't be seeing much of the Final Three in person this week, here they are:

Boys \- Alejandro

Girls \- Ella, Sugar

It's the very last Aftermath of the entire Shuffled series...I hope you're ready for it!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 24 – Hawaiian Style**

For the fourth and final time this season, the episode opened on a familiar electric guitar riff in place of the usual capstone theme. The spinning globe faded into view, and was followed one by one by the large white block-lettered words: 'TOTAL', then 'DRAMA', then a larger 'WORLD TOUR' in two lines below, and finally 'AFTERMATH' with a shower of sparks as the music reached its climax.

The unseen crowd cheered, and the glare from the title took over the screen.

xxx

"Oh, that's fine," Sammy said quickly, the clip showing her already at the reopened shoot of the giant slot machine with a dazed Dawn in her arms. "I'll just take her, if that's okay with everyone. I mean, she's _my_ girlfriend after all, so it would just be awkward to pair her up with anyone else. This way, everyone wins right?" She spoke quickly, already leading Dawn away before Sugar and the others could respond.

xxx

The music entered a low point as the title screen was shown again, the words flaring up once more to transition to the next clip.

xxx

"Err, actually," Ezekiel spoke up, "I was thinkin' that maybe me or Tyler could have those balls you stole, eh."

"What?" Alejandro said in surprise, turning his head back around. "Don't be ridicu-"

He stopped upon seeing Ezekiel pointing his slingshot at him, the borrowed ammunition fired before Alejandro could react. "Sorry, eh," Ezekiel said with his arm covering his mouth while the pink gas dispersed. "But only a little," he added as he walked up to the now-unconscious Alejandro.

xxx

A few laughs were heard and the Aftermath theme renewed itself, the title screen flaring up for a third time.

xxx

"Well then friends," Dawn proclaimed as Chef herded her and Blaineley towards the plane's exit, "before I go, I must warn you all of a great evil lurking on this plane! And I'm _not_ talking about Alejandro."

Dawn raised a finger and took a breath, but Blaineley cut her off by slapping a hand over her mouth. "Not so fast, _I'm_ getting the last words here," she said angrily.

The footage skipped forward to Chris shoving both women off the plane.

xxx

The theme music peaked again as the fourth and final clip was led in to.

xxx

"Tyler, _no_!" Ella and Chris and even Sugar and Alejandro yelled in alarm as the wide-eyed jock leaped for the flaming marshmallow skewer in slow motion.

The camera quickly panned rightward to the door at the side of the plane; it slammed open and countless animals ran out – a sasquatch, a bear, a horse, a seal, a duck, a bunch of rats and chipmunks, and Staci at the front of it though her shriek had been muted.

The shot cut back to the flaming marshmallow as it continued it's slow-motion descent towards the oil slick, the footage suddenly speeding up again as Tyler failed to catch it before it made contact with the fuel.

The resulting explosion was shown from about a mile away, and the light completely enveloped the once-peaceful nighttime scene.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The Aftermath's title sequence played once more, earning another round of applause from the unseen audience as the episode proper began.

"Hello, everyone!" Sam said, walking in to a close-up shot of what looked like the host's couch in an outdoor set. "And welcome, to Total Drama Aftermath! Today we're coming to you _live_ from the tropical shores of _Hawaii_!" he pointed at the camera, then spread his arms wide as the camera zoomed out. As he'd said the main parts of the Aftermath set had been transplanted to a beautiful white-sand beach, a smoking volcano off in the background. Two-tiered couches had been set up on either side like usual, but unlike usual both held members of the Peanut Gallery – the left had DJ and Shawn on the top row, Bridgette and Geoff, Sierra, and Scott on the bottom, and Scarlett strapped into her hand truck off to the side; the right-hand couches had Lightning and Jo on the top, Beth, Beardo, B, and Amy on the bottom.

"After traveling all around the _world_ this season," Topher said, walking in from the left to join Sam, "we had to wrap it up with a big shot of _paradise_."

"And if you think we're alone in this," Sam added, "then you'd be _wrong_ , because the Peanut Gallery is right here with us! Give 'em a hand, everybody!" He and Topher clapped along with the unseen audience, the camera cutting from one half of the gallery to the other as the former contestants there smiled and waved to varying degrees.

"There's only _two_ episodes left before we get to declare this season's million dollar winner," Sam continued.

"And right here is where it's _all_ going to go down!" Topher added enthusiastically.

The two paused for a few seconds for the applause to die down, then Sam continued. "Now first, it's time to say hello to some more friends who were given the Drop of Shame. Please welcome," he and Topher motioned to the side, the host wannabe deliberately stepping in front of Sam just a bit, "Sammy, Dawn, and Ezekiel!"

The crowd cheered again as the two girls were shoved into view by an unseen intern, followed by Ezekiel just getting tossed so he landed on his belly in the sand. "Umm, why are we all getting introed at the same time?" Sammy asked as Ezekiel stood up and brushed off the sand.

"We're doing things a bit _differently_ today," Topher answered with a cool wink at the camera.

"I can see that, eh," Ezekiel said. "Hey, does this mean I don't gotta sing? 'Cause I'm kinda tired of it, eh."

"We'll get to that soon enough," Topher told him. "But first, we've got one more _ex-contestant_ to add to the mix."

"Yeah, please welcome _Blaineley_ ," Sam said unenthusiastically, rolling his eyes and motioning halfheartedly back to the side.

The crowd gasped as another hand truck was wheeled out, this one holding Blaineley in a full body cast. The black intern set her down next to the right set of couches.

"What did you do to the mean blonde person?" Beth asked in concern.

"Nothing, technically," Sam answered.

"Yeah," Topher told her, putting his arm around the gamer's shoulder to the other boy's annoyance, "don't you remember when Blaineley and Dawn took the drop together in China? Well take a load of what happened next in this _exclusive_ clip," he said, winking at the camera again.

xxx

Static cut to a shot of an isolated building with a curved and pointed roof. "Aaaand...," Topher said as Blaineley suddenly and rapidly fell down from above, " _boom_!" She crashed through the roof, earning a few laughs from the audience.

xxx

The shot cut back to the beach where the right half of the Peanut Gallery, Ezekiel now sitting in the top row, was laughing at Blaineley as well. She narrowed her eyes angrily and looked away.

"Now as you might remember from last time," Sam said, stepping in front of Topher, "my sweet angel Dakota was nursing a wounded _bear_ over in Siberia. Fortunately, the bear's all better now!" he said brightly before frowning. " _Un_ fortunately, the airport officials wouldn't let her leave since she only had Blaineley's passport." He glared over at his former cohost, who giggled through her bandages. "Which means she's had been stuck waiting for her Dad to pull a bunch of strings and get her home. But the wait is _finally_ over!" he said brightly, pointing dramatically off into the distance as Topher hung his head in disappointment.

The crowd cheered as a bright pink helicopter was shown approaching high over the open ocean. Dakota leaned out the side door and waved at the camera, then called out "Sam! I'm _so_ happy to see you again!"

A dramatic note played as a large brown bear poked its head out as well, and the crowd gasped. "Whoa, Dakota! What's _he_ doing here?"

Dakota looked at the bear, then back at her boyfriend. "Oh, don't worry about Bruno!" She and the bear quickly ducked back into the helicopter and re-emerged shortly after wearing helmets and holding hang gliders. The heiress took the lead in jumping out, swooping down towards the beach towards where Sam was moving towards her with open arms.

He caught her as she crashed in to him, and they landed together on the sand. "Haha, oops!" Dakota giggled bashfully, discarding her helmet and glider.

"No problem," Sam said with a wide and dopey grin. "Reminds me of season one. What's important is that you're finally back!" They leaned in to kiss, only for heavy plodding footsteps to herald a strong right hook from the bear, who had apparently landed on the beach without issue.

The audience and gallery gasped and shrieked in shock. "Umm, _rude_!" Dakota said, standing up to scold the bear. "You _know_ what I said about punching, Bruno." The bear hung his head in shame.

"Hey hey, looks like _quite_ the pet you've brought back," Topher said, walking up to the pair. "Hope it doesn't cause you two any trouble. But seriously, it's great to have you back, Dakota," he said, stepping forward to shake the heiress' hand only to back off when Bruno growled at him. He laughed nervously, then continued. "Anyway, now that you're back as cohost, I guess you won't need _me_ anymore. I'll just, uh, go back to the Peanut Gallery..." He motioned back over his shoulder, then started to back away.

"Well, thanks for filling in for me," Dakota told him, "even if it _was_ only for a couple minutes. I'm sure you'll get your own hosting job _some_ day."

Topher stopped, then smiled brightly. "You really think so?" he asked before resuming his cool demeanor. "I mean, of _course_ I will, but thanks for the good faith." He shot her a wink and a couple finger pistols, then waved at the audience as they applauded. He returned to the Gallery, and took a seat next to Lightning.

"Well then, let's get back to the _hosting_ shall we?" Dakota said excitedly as the focus moved back to her and Sam, now back at center-stage.

"The Peanut Gallery will soon have their say in who wins the million," Sam said, raising an arm with Dakota as the crowd clapped.

"Is that so?" Scott spoke up, the shot cut to the left half of the gallery and revealing that Dawn and Sammy had joined the top row. "Because I got a few _words_ to pick with a couple of the finalists."

"You better not be referring to _Ella_ with that," Bridgette said sharply. "She's the only person left who's actually _nice_ , she _has_ to win!"

"Yeah, assuming she can even _make it_ here," Jo said from the other side of the gallery. "How the heck are _any_ of them going to get out of Middle-of- _Nothing_ , Alberta?"

"That's...a pretty good _question_ ," Dakota said, turning a concerned look towards Sam. "Did Chris tell you anything? Because we can't, like, have a _finale_ without _finalists_."

Sam shrugged helplessly. "Predictably, Chris hasn't told us anything that's actually _useful_. But considering that all of them made it _this_ far, I'm sure they'll find their way here _some_ how."

"Well they better," Lightning spoke up. "Lightning's _already_ annoyed that Tyler got cut, he doesn't wanna have to wait around for a buncha people he doesn't even _like_."

"As I was _saying_ ," Sam continued, "even though most of us don't like all of the Final Three, they've all shown themselves to be pretty resourceful when it comes down to it."

"So, I guess we should just trust them to get here then?" Dakota asked, receiving a nod in return and smiling. "Ooh, I like it! We'll just have to wait and see what sort of _exciting_ journey they give us, okay?" she asked the audience, receiving another applause.

"Got it," Sam said jovially. "So, who does the Peanut Gallery think will win?" he asked the camera.

~/~

[A stereotypically Hawaiian tune began to play as the camera zoomed in on the monitor set up over the hosts' couch, which was now showing an image of peanuts dancing on two sets of tiered couches with a question mark between them. The question mark enlarged as the lyrics began, transitioning the screen to something else.]

" _Who you gonna root for? Who do you prefer_?"

[Dakota and Sam sang together over an image of three slot machine windows amongst a field of question marks. The windows started on question marks as well, before they started spinning rapidly.]

" _Is it Ella? Alejandro? Or will you pick Sugar_?"

[As the hosts sang the reels stopped from left to right as each contestant was called in turn, showing stock images Ella, Alejandro, and Sugar all smiling confidently.]

" _There's Sugar, Queen of pageants; and she's been playing hard_!"

[Dakota sang, appearing on screen and doing a hula dance wearing a grass skirt, a lei around her waist, and flowers in her hair. Behind her the scene changed to black-and-white clips of Sugar, showing her hitting her disastrous high note while singing to the mother condor, then angrily slapping away Scott's hand and dunking him into the water in Jamaica.]

" _Too bad everybody hates her, she'd have! To pay! A bodyguard_!"

[Sam added, rising up on screen to join his girlfriend's hula, already wearing a similar costume. The clips continued behind them, showing Sugar as she got distracted by Sierra's disguise in New York, then tripping and causing herself, Ella, and Alejandro to tumble down the side of the pyramid in Egypt and land on Scarlett and Staci.]

" _Who you gonna root for? Who do you prefe~er_?"

[The two sang together, dropping back out of the scene as another few short clips played – Ella cheering at the appearance of the musical icon while standing at the prow of Team Universe's dory off the Newfoundland coast, a close-up of Alejandro peering in to the first class cabin and spying the 'Ripper', and Sugar grabbing Blaineley by the dress and slamming her down on a table with her arm pinned behind her back.]

" _Is it Ella? Alejandro? Or will you pick Sugar_?"

[Another trio of clips accompanied the next line, this time showing Ella blushing coyly, Alejandro dramatically taking his shirt off in Sweden, and Sugar in her half-spider half-alien monster costume having a Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtail tossed into her mouth, swallowing it, and grinning.]

" _Al's next and though he's nasty, he's had a lot of luck_!"

[Dakota said, dancing back onto the scene as the black-and-white montage became more focused on Alejandro, showing him easily slapping Tyler off their dance-battle platform and then pulling out an ornate alien screwdriver from a pile of junk while talking to Ella, both splattered with green goo.]

" _He better hope it doesn't run out, or he'll! Be face! Down in the muck_!"

[Sam added, joining the hula once again as Alejandro was shown on one knee holding a stick while watching over the rest of his battered team in the Amazon, then saying something calmly from atop a giant meat grinder only to receive a face full of unprocessed sausage meat for the trouble.]

" _Who you gonna root for? Who do you prefer_?"

[The hosts dropped out once again, and another round of short clips of each contestant played – Ella riding an emu side-saddle, Alejandro nonchalantly shoving an angry dingo into Tyler's unwitting arms, and Sugar exiting her team's giant hamster ball along with a baby panda, both so dizzy they immediately fell over.]

" _Is it Ella? Alejandro? Or will you pick Sugar_?"

[Another three clips were shown – Ella singing sadly to herself in the cargo hold, Alejandro laughing in a confessional, and Sugar cracking her knuckles as she made her last stand in London.

" _Then Ella, she's a sweetheart; her singing packs a punch_!"

[Once again Dakota rose back into view doing a hula dance; the clips behind her this time showed Ella getting led into the caverns of Rapa Nui by Tyler while struggling to carry three eggs in her skirt, then rolling forward and snatching the gold medal from the boar-bear's neck while Staci kept it pinned.]

" _Just hope that'll be enough now, because! What's next! Will hurt a bunch_!"

[And, of course, Sam joined in once more as well; in the background Ella was shown standing triumphant at the edge of the condor nest after the eggs hatched, and slapping a nervous-looking Alejandro while Sammy and Dawn watched then running away sobbing into her hands.]

" _Who you gonna root for? Who do you prefe~er_?"

[The two hosts remained on-screen this time, continuing their dance over another trio of clips – Ella leaping gracefully from the bus in the first episode, the shining off Alejandro's smile as he also walked away from the bus, and Sugar waving and blowing a kiss in her own entrance to the season.]

" _Is it Ella? Alejandro? Or will you pick Sugar_?"

[Sam and Dakota finally slid off to the sides as three last clips were shown – the fire reflecting off Ella's eyes as they snapped open, Alejandro smiling wide and viciously, and Sugar grinning darkly and chuckling in the restroom confessional.

After the clips played, the background faded back to the close up of the dancing peanuts on the widescreen, the camera zooming back out as the music ended.]

~/~

"Hey, that went great! Especially considering we didn't get to rehearse," Sam chuckled as the camera panned down to him and Dakota at the hosts' couch.

"Aww, thanks!" Dakota said sweetly, kissing him on the cheek.

The background music immediately turned intense as Bruno rose up from behind the couch, swiped down with his paw to separate the two, then smacked Sam all the way into the ocean.

The audience and gallery gasped in shock, and Dakota cried out " _Sam_!" in fear. She quickly turned a glare towards the bear, saying " _Bad_ Bruno! I told you, don't hurt my boyfriend!"

Bruno hung his head in shame under her glare, and as the music became ominous he trudged over to the right half of the gallery. Most of the contestants that had been sitting there screamed and ran away, leaving only Beth paralyzed in fear in the bottom-left corner. Bruno took the seat behind her, and leaned over to sniff her.

"Can't we, like, calm him _down_ or something?" Amy asked in quiet terror.

The camera quick-panned over to the other half of the gallery, which were watching with mostly horror. "Well," Shawn said as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "I guess we could try kava tea. It comes from a Polynesian plant with _sedative properties_."

"Is it also an appetite suppressant?" Beth asked in terror of the bear that was staring at her.

"Umm..., before the Peanut Gallery hold up their flags to show who they're rooting for," Dakota said with an anxious glance sideways as she resumed hosting and Sam rejoined her dripping wet, "let's see how our finalists stack up!"

She motioned back up to the widescreen as trading-card-like pictures of Alejandro, Sugar, and Ella appeared on screen against a yellow starburst pattern, then rapidly spun around in a circle.

"Which one of them has the best chance of taking home the million?" Sam asked, smirking in anticipation before he and Dakota looked back at the camera. "Let's see might've earned it the _hard_ way, with some...!"

xxx

A bout of static cut the scene to an image of a white man in a full-body cast lying on a stretcher with his left arm in a sling. He was suddenly sent flying as an ambulance crashed into him, a deep voice announcing "Total _Trauma_!" over the blare of the siren, the shot pulling back to show Chef sitting on top of the ambulance in a male nurse's outfit.

xxx

"Ella's managed to avoid _serious_ injury for most of the season," Dakota began over a montage of clips showing the singing princess riding Alejandro's shoulder as he climbed the side of a pyramid, leaping into the charmer's arms as they were confronted by a pair of leaf-shaped aliens, and Tyler putting himself between her and the 'Ripper'. "However, that's _mostly_ because Alejandro and Tyler have been protecting her pretty like _all_ the time."

"But since she and Al have broken up," the heiress continued over the replayed clip of Ella slapping the charmer, "and Tyler's _blown_ his chances," the jock was shown accidentally causing the plane to explode, "Ella's going to have to fend for _herself_ from here on out."

"Lucky her, she _does_ have skills to fall back on," Sam said, the montage cutting away briefly to show the gamer nodding knowingly. He motioned back up to the widescreen, which now showed a rotating model of the young woman with what looked like five rows of video game-like stats labeled 'STR', 'AGI', 'END', 'INT', and '?'. "Although she's physically the _weakest_ finalist," the gamer explained as the first row increased to two out of five bars, "her dance lessons have made her fast _and_ flexible." The second row shot up to four out of five. "She's proven she can bounce back from weird Chinese food, giant caterpillar attacks, and just about everything _else_ the show's thrown at her," 'END' increased to three out of five, "and if the last episode is anything to go by she's finally shed some of that childlike innocence that made her so easy to fool," 'INT' increased to three as well.

"And don't forget her _amazing_ singing skills," Dakota chimed in as the bottom row changed to "Singing' and quickly shot up to five out of five. "Whether it's calming a nest of condors or just cheering up her friends, Ella is easily the best singer in the entire Total Drama cast. And in a musical season like ours, that _can't_ be ignored."

"Overall," Sam said as the camera cut back to the hosts, "I'd say she's definitely a girl with a chance. But compared to our _next_ competitor, I'm afraid she's also a bit of an _underdog_."

"Like Ella, Alejandro's managed to avoid serious injury as well," Dakota said as a blank 'stats' image of the charmer was shown. "Even _with_ putting himself on the line to defend Ella a few times," clips were shown of him protecting his teammates from the caterpillars in the Amazon, then leaping dramatically towards Ella after she slipped off an ice floe and fell into the frigid water – only to get distracted and slip into the water himself.

The camera briefly returned to Dakota as she said "Plus, we all know what a _serious_ strategist he is, and he's been able to weasel out of _several_ eliminations so far." Halfway through the sentence the clips resumed, showing him surviving the eliminations in London, Niagara Falls, Tanzania, and Drumheller.

"Luckily he's not without his flaws," Sam said. "He was the first to get taken out by Staci the Were-Ripper in London," a clip was shown of his capture on the plane before the challenge had even started, "and he took this year's _biggest_ face-plant in Greece." The clip reel changed to a long-distance shot of the Acropolis, and Sam asked "Hey, can we see take another look at it?"

The feed cut to static, and the charmer was shown running into a tall hurdle while talking to someone of-screen, while his opponent Tyler managed to jump over his hurdle and keep going. The audience winced audibly at the impact.

"Overall," Sam said as the widescreen footage cut back to the stats screen, "Alejandro is _easily_ the biggest threat out there," he said as the stats filled themselves in – four for 'STR', five for 'AGI', three for 'END', and four for 'INT'. "And even though it took a _lot_ of luck to get him to where he is," the bottom row of stats changed from '?" to 'Luck' and maxed out at five out of five, "that might not matter much now."

"I hate to say it," Dakota chimed in as the focus moved back to the hosts, "but Alejandro is _so_ the one to beat right now. And as for Sugar's run this season?" she said, looking back up at the widescreen as it cut to another round of clips.

"Well _despite_ her reputation for being a terrible singer," the heiress continued as the clip of Sugar's final high note to the condors was replayed again, "Sugar's managed to show a cunning that nobody saw coming. Between her alliance with Scott to sabotage Team Chris," the alliance in question was shown being made, followed by Sugar distracting Beardo while Scott messed with Team Chris' commercial, " _betraying_ Scott to gain sympathy with the others," Sugar was shown dunking Scott and then fake crying later on, "and taking out _anyone_ who tried to say otherwise," clips of Sierra arguing with Sugar in Area 51 and Dawn pleading her case to Alejandro and Ezekiel on the plane were followed by clips of both girls being eliminated, "Sugar has been a force to be reckoned with _throughout_ the game."

"This pageant queen has a big mean streak and packs a _bigger_ punch," Sam said as the screen cut to Sugar's stats screen, 'STR' filling up to four out of five, "but on the other hand she's not so hot when it comes to running and dodging," 'AGI' scored only a two. "She's also the quickest to tire out of our three finalists, but her iron stomach and ability to keep going when it counts more than make up for it," the gamer added as Sugar's 'END' went up to three out of five. "Intelligence is harder to rank with her, though," he continued as the fourth row switched from a two out of five to a series of question marks. "She seems to be all over the place, thinking up killer strategies one minute but not understanding how trains work the next. It's hard to get a handle on exactly what's going on inside her head."

"I guess that makes her a bit of a _wild card_ , right?" Dakota asked jovially, the final row of Sugar's stats screen staying as '?' but filling up to five out of five. "She's full of surprises, and most of them are no good for the other finalists," Dakota said as the camera returned to the hosts and the audience clapped.

"And that's what makes this race too close to call right now," Sam chimed. "So how about we take a closer look at what could stop each finalist in their tracks?" He motioned back up to the widescreen, which cut to another series of clips.

xxx

"Sugar's biggest weakness, aside from her bad attitude, is probably either her _ego_ ," Sam said over a clip of the pageant queen falling for Sierra's fake pageant act in New York, and showing off her imaginary ' _Sugarsaurus_ ' in Drumheller, "or her _stamina_." the gamer added as Sugar was shown falling off her emu in exhaustion.

"If she's not careful," Dakota added as the young woman in question was shown trudging up the side of a snowy mountain in exhaustion, and stumbling forward and stepping on a mine after exhausting herself pulling Blaineley, "then she could _totally_ take on something that she can't really handle."

xxx

"And as for Al," Sam said as the clip montage moved to the Chinese eating challenge, beginning a clip of Alejandro barely making it past the first round and puking after losing the second, "the dude is a _super_ picky eater, and just can't handle gross things in general."

"He better pray there isn't anything like _that_ coming up," Dakota added, "or he'll _so_ be repeating his performance from season one."

xxx

"And Ella?" Sam continued as the recap footage shifted to Ella trying to get Alejandro to look at paintings with her in the Louvre. "Well, I'd say her biggest weakness might just be _herself_."

" _Totally_ ," Dakota chimed in. "She's had trouble focusing on challenges, like, _all season_ ," the montage continued on to show Ella sitting on a rock while Tyler collected eggs for her on Rapa Nui. "And even though she seems to be out of her post-betrayal slump, Sugar and Alejandro could _still_ find a way to psyche her out."

xxx

"And here's where it gets _interesting_ ," Dakota continued as the static cut away back to her, "because it's time for the Peanut Gallery to vote for their _fave_ finalists!"

The footage flashed ahead to a close-up of small flags bearing Alejandro's face, the camera zooming out as the audience applauded to reveal them to be in the hands of Amy, Scott, and Topher; they were now the only ex-contestants sitting on the left-side couches, though Blaineley was propped up next to them with an Alejandro flag of her own.

Cutting to the right-side couches revealed most of the rest of the cast sitting there holding Ella flags – DJ, Dawn, Sammy, Beardo, B, and Beth on the top row; Sierra, Bridgette, Geoff, Shawn, Ezekiel, and Lightning on the bottom; and Jo standing next to them looking rather annoyed before the shot zoomed out even further and she noticed Scarlett in her hand truck off to the side.

"Why are _you_ of all people are on Sugar's team?" she asked the restrained villainess, placing a Sugar flag through the straps tying Scarlett in place.

"Surprisingly enough, I genuinely believe she's played the best game this season," Scarlett explained through her face mask.

"You're just bitter that Alejandro beat you," Topher taunted. "He's been the dominant force behind most of the votes this season, and played Sugar _and_ Ella like a fiddle! How could he _not_ win?"

"Because he's totally _heinous_ maybe?" Bridgette answered with a glare. "How could _anybody_ support him after what he's done to Ella all season?"

"Yeah! Even Lightning knows that's messed up!" the uber-jock chimed in before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Though he _will_ admit he's mostly only supportin' Ella right now 'cause she's Tyler's girl."

Ezekiel looked at him, then nodded in agreement. "Ayup, same here. Shame Tyler blew up the plane, eh."

"Don't remind me," Jo grunted, crossing her arms as she walked closer to the couch. "Rooting for someone as ridiculously girly as _Ella_ just feels _wrong_ to me."

"Still, Ella's really the only one left who deserves to win," Bridgette told the two athletes.

A deep and dramatic tune suddenly welled up in the background music as Bruno walked up towards a nervous Beth with a red checkered bib around his neck. "Uhh, is the tea ready yet?" Bruno roared.

The black male intern promptly arrived with a tea kettle and cup on a tray. "I'll take care of it," Shawn volunteered, grabbing the kettle off the tray. "I have some experience in dealing with hungry bears." He cleared his throat, then turned to face Bruno.

The bear roared again, but rather than flee Shawn just shoved the kettle into his mouth, which immediately closed around the spout. Bruno blinked in confusion, then began to drink; it finished after a few seconds, took the kettle out of its mouth, and yawned contentedly.

"Aww," Dakota said sweetly before turning to her boyfriend. "I think it's _finally_ time for us to really reunite, huh?" she asked him, spreading her arms for an embrace.

"Yeah," Sam smiled as moved to meet her, only to be interrupted by a roaring Bruno once again. The bear promptly fell asleep and dropped over onto the gamer, pinning him to the ground with a shocked "Whoa!" as the audience gasped.

"No! Sam!" Dakota shrieked before noticing the camera still on her. "Umm...right," she resumed her hosting demeanor as a trendy tune started to play, "coming up next a few _lucky_ members of the Peanut Gallery will face-off in a _totally_ exciting and death-defying surf challenge," she said quickly, "for a chance to win an incredible advantage for their fave finalist!" She nervously looked down at Sam.

"All that and more," the gamer said, muffled by Bruno's sleeping head, "when we return on Total! Drama! Aftermath!"

"Would you seriously just _move_ already?!" Dakota told the sleeping bear angrily as the audience applauded, even trying to push him off Sam herself.

The show's title screen was shown again, the flaring letters leading in to the break.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The title screen was shown once again, the Aftermath theme playing as the flaring letters took the scene back to the beach where Dakota was now standing alone.

"Welcome back to Total Drama Aftermath!" she greeted. "Bruno's been led away, so now it's time to take this show to the next level of _excitement_. Here's Sam to give you the detes!"

"Thanks, Dakota!" Sam said as the scene cut to a cliff near a large waterfall, the Peanut Gallery members assembled closer to the edge and divided roughly based on who they were supporting. "So guys, tell me, have any of you missed being in the game at all?"

The camera cut closer to the eighteen former competitors, none of whom said anything – even the more competitive ones stayed silent.

"Uhh, great!" the gamer continued with an awkward smile. "'Cause you're gonna be competing to help your favorite Final Three contestants win!" he said as the camera panned over the unenthused faces of the gallery. Scarlett, on the end and immobile, promptly fell over.

"Huh...," Sam said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess someone should, y'know, look after her up here, huh?"

"Not me!" Amy said, quickly darting over to grab Blaineley's hand truck. "I did it last time, and I'm already babysitting her!" she pointed to the older woman, who glared silently at her. "Plus, like, none of us are even on the same _team_ as Scarlett, it's probably like against the _rules_ for us to help her."

"Good point," Sam said dully. "I guess I get why she's the only one supporting Sugar while four of you are on Team Al, but this challenge isn't gonna work that well because of it. Do you think maybe some of you could switch sides, just for a little bit?"

He was met with nothing but silence.

"Uggh," he groaned, pinching his nose. "You guys leave me no _choice_ then. Lightning, B, and Beth," he pointed towards the three on the end of the Team Ella mass, "you're on Team Sugar now." He punctuated his command by picking up Scarlett and shoving her towards the uber-jock.

"Sha- _what_?" Lightning said, passing the hand truck off to a reluctant Beth. "Man, why you gotta force all this on _me_ for?"

"So great to hear you're all so _passionate_ about who you're supporting," Dakota giggled as she walked up to the group. "Because one member of each team is about to risk their _lives_ for their favorite! Any volunteers?"

"I will," Jo and Bridgette immediately volunteered for Team Ella.

"Uhh, excuse me?" the jock-ette asked in mild disbelief.

"Well I _am_ a surfer," Bridgette told him. "I'm _clearly_ the best choice for a surfing challenge."

The two girls locked eyes for a few moments before Jo relented with an exasperated sigh. "Fine, you do it. I'm not that big on Ella anyways," she told the surfer.

"Good," Bridgette smiled, confidently crossing her arms. "It's about _time_ I did some real surfing on this show."

"I volunteer for my team," Topher said, raising his hand and drawing the camera's focus to Team Alejandro. "As Alejandro's _closest_ personal friend, it's my duty to help him out here."

"You realize he's _straight_ , right?" Scott asked with a smirk, earning a smile from Amy and a glare from Topher.

"And who's gonna represent Team Sugar?" Sam asked the forcibly expanded team.

"Might as well be Lightning," the uber-jock said, raising a hand and stepping forward. "He might not actually _like_ Sugar, but he _does_ like the idea of winnin' somethin'."

"Ooh, excellent!" Dakota squealed in excitement. "Let's take a look at what Bridgette, Topher, and Lightning are up against," she said with a knowing look at the camera, and the shot cut to the bottom of a lower cliff face with a staircase carved into it. "Players have to race to the top," the hostess said as the shot panned upward a little ways to another grassy area where a trio of wooden heads sat behind a simple altar, the central one large and intimidating, "and snag one of the traditional Hawaiian leis from _Lono_ , the Hawaiian god of prosperity and sporting events." The camera zoomed in close to the central wooden depiction of the god, then panned leftward to six surfboards in a variety of colors and styles standing nearby. "Then, you'll grab a surfboard and take it _back_ down the stream!" Dakota continued, the camera moving towards a rapid stream running down a fairly steep slope. "And when you get to the the bottom _watch out_! There's just a _little_ lava spray nearby," the heiress said, the camera cutting to the mouth of the stream at a waterfall situated next to a small but active lava vent that shot out a small burst of molten rock. A few yards away from the stream's mouth, floating on the ocean, were a trio of rafts that were empty save the flag each had bearing a face of one of the finalists.

Bridgette, Topher, and Lightning all gasped in shock.

"Uhh, are you _sure_ we should be making them do this?" Sam quietly asked Dakota. "Lava seems a little, I dunno, _kill_ -y."

"Hey, Lightning can _handle_ a few thousand degrees of scorching rock, thank you very much," Lightning objected.

"And...it's not like it'll be erupting _all_ the time," Bridgette said a little warily.

"Yeah, we'll be fine!" Topher chimed in.

"I guess that settles it," Sam said, shrugging at his cohost.

"Good," Dakota said. "But first," the shot zoomed out to reveal the large blackboard that had been wheeled next to them, "here are some pictures of animals you can find in Hawaii!" she said, motioning to the images on the board.

"Yeah, if you went to the Maui Zoo!" Sam added with forced enthusiasm.

"Each team must pick an animal to represent the _spirit_ of their player," Dakota explained as the camera zoomed in for a closer look at the choices – bear, dolphin, Doberman Pinscher, shark, deer, jaguar, rhinoceros, raccoon, moose, lion, and kangaroo.

"Lightning," she turned first to the uber-jock, "which animal do you think _best_ represents Sugar?"

"Hmm," Lightning said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "That's a tough call, Dakota. 'Cause at first, Lightning was _gonna_ say the moose, but then he remembered that the moose is _Lightning_. So...Lightning thinks he's gonna have to go with the, uh, the _rhinoceros_ ," he said, pointing at the blackboard.

"Ooh, looks like that means Sugar's spirit animal is a _rhino_!" Dakota said with an excited squeal. "Bridgette, can you choose for Ella?"

"Gladly," the surfer smiled. "Although with so many vicious _predators_ up there, it's hard to find one that fits her...how about the deer?" Bridgette said, the camera wandering around the blackboard before honing in on the surfer's choice.

"A deer? _Seriously_?" Jo asked skeptically. "How's that supposed to compete with a _rhino_?"

"I don't know," Bridgette responded, "but if we're going to be _working_ with these animals, I'd rather have one that's as gentle and sweet as the person I'm competing for."

Jo huffed and looked away. "Fine, point taken."

"Okay Topher, you're next. What's your choice for Alejandro?" Dakota asked the wannabe host.

"Well Dakota," Topher answered confidently, "I'm gonna have to go with the _jaguar_."

"Really? Any particular, uh, reason?" Sam asked.

"Glad you asked, Sam," Topher said, quickly hiding his eagerness behind a suave smile. "Like Alejandro, jaguars are lean, fast, smart, strong, _and_ attractive, making them the best choice by far to represent the _greatest_ of Total Drama competitors."

"Huhuh, then why are you picking one to represent _Al_?" Sam joked, immediately noticing Topher's slightly sour expression. He coughed, then continued. "Okay, moving on to the catch: assuming you can make it all the way down the stream and past the deadly lava spray with _out_ losing your leis," he explained as the camera cut to the mouth of the stream as another spurt of molten rock shot out of the vent, "you'll just have to put that lei onto your team's animal to win." The shot moved down to the three rafts, upon which the three chosen animals were now standing tethered to the posts holding up the pictures of the finalists – Ella's deer on the right; Alejandro's black jaguar in the middle; and Sugar's rhinoceros on the left. The black male intern finished adjusting a collar on the rhino's neck and the beast snorted at him, prompting the intern to fearfully turn and dive into the water.

"Yes!" Bridgette said, pumping a fist excitedly. "I _knew_ picking the deer was the right move."

"You rock, babe!" Geoff called out from the Team Ella crowd.

"Sorry boys," the surfer turned to her opponents, "but it looks like _I've_ got the easiest target."

"Lightning ain't concerned," the uber-jock replied calmly. "He'll just sha-throw the lei onto the rhino's _horn_ , like a ring toss!" He mimed throwing the flower ring, and it easily landing around his chosen animal's most prominent feature as represented by his other arm.

"And don't count _me_ out either," Topher chimed in confidently. "I'm pretty sure I can _handle_ a _jaguar_."

"Okay," Dakota continued, "whoever manages to lei their animal first will win a _major_ advantage for their fave, and whoever gets _second_ will win a _minor_ one."

"And since last place doesn't get anything," Sam added, "you should probably try _not_ to lose. Otherwise you finalist will have a pretty tough time winning, assuming they can even make it to the final challenge in the first place."

"So good luck everyone!" Dakota told them brightly. "Ready, set, _go_!"

At her command the music turned tense, and Lightning struck a pose. "Alright, time for Lightning to show you what he's got! Sha- _Lightning_!" He ran off at top speed, leaving Topher and Bridgette behind.

"And it's time for Topher to show you all a real _experience_ ," the host wannabe added, striking a few quick poses of his own before running off as well.

Bridgette shook her head and sighed, saying "Those two..." before jogging off as well.

The camera cut to the staircase, Lightning easily reaching it first. "Aww yeah," he told himself as he paused at the top, "no _way_ am I losin' this!"

"Think again!" Topher said as he ran past him to the right. "And don't forget your swim trunks!" he called out to the athlete.

"Like Lightning was gonna," the uber-jock pouted, quickly running to catch up with Topher.

Bridgette was in dead last once again, reaching the top of the stairs and sighing in exasperation as she raced after her two opponents.

/

The footage flashed ahead, showing the leis and the giant carved head of Lono as Lightning skidded up to it in his swim trunks. "Alright Lono," he said confidently, "time to lei one on Lightning!" He picked up a lei and tossed it in the air, confidently adding "Sha- _score_!" as he stuck a hand out to catch it.

It was intercepted, however, by the sudden reappearance of Topher, now changed into black racing briefs. "Sorry to steal your _thunder_ , Lightning," the host-wannabe quipped, twirling the lei around his finger as Lightning scowled.

Bridgette was the last to arrive yet again, and had changed into her usual wetsuit. "Well, guess I'm not _too_ far behind," she told herself, just before tripping on the edge of the rug that was laid out beneath the altar the leis were on. She screamed and landed face-down on the ground, earning a wince of sympathy from both of her opponents.

The trademark dings of a musical number sounded, the note icon appearing just above Bridgette on the screen.

"Sorry guys," Sam said as he walked up, "but Chris said we have to make you sing a song."

"Aww man, Lightning thought he was _done_ with the musical numbers," the uber-jock griped.

"Well _I've_ been waiting all _season_ for a chance to sing," Topher said. "So, what'll it be? Some personal reflections on our time on the show? Maybe something a little _combative_ , yet also existential?" he asked Sam with an expectant smile.

"Uhh...just stick with a challenge song, dude," Sam told him.

"Sure thing!" Topher smiled.

~/~

[A drumline opened the song, an acoustic guitar soon joining in as Topher bobbed his head to the rhythm.]

" _Rockin', it's my time to shine; takin' out this board of mine;_ "

[The waterfall and cliff were shown from a distance as he began singing, then the shot cut in close to the surfboards again as he grabbed a red-and-orange striped one, spun it around, and dipped it as though it was a dance partner.]

" _Surfin' down until the end; of one thing or another!_ "

[A quick pan showed the stream below, then returned to the clifftop as Topher looked down, smirked cockily, then jumped with his lei in one hand and his board beneath him.]

" _One last chance to prove my might; that's what keeps me up at night;_ "

[Lightning sang next, looking down thoughtfully with his lei clenched in his left fist and the white lightning bolt in his hair gleaming in the sun; he extended his right hand as if to grab something, then spun around and grabbed a bright yellow surfboard from the row.]

" _That's why I'm sha-headin' out; to dodge that lava, brother_!"

[He smiled confidently, then sang as he ran across to the cliff's edge, jumping into the air and putting his board beneath him. A splash was heard as the scene cut to the stream.]

" _I'm winning this deal_ ,"

[Topher sang confidently, Lightning soon catching up, singing "Yeah yeah!"]

" _I'm winnin' for real_ ,"

[The uber-jock shot back, pulling ahead as the host wannabe repeated "Yeah yeah!"]

" _I'm takin' the lead!_ "

[Topher countered, pulling ahead again as Lightning sang "Yeah yeah!"]

" _I'm winnin', ea-sy_!"

[Lightning countered back as he regained the lead, Topher once again repeating "Yeah yeah!" as he caught back up.]

" _Here I go, I won't need luck. For Ella's sake I'll leave them struck;_ "

[Bridgette sang as the focus moved back to her on the top of the cliff, standing up from a kneeling position in front of Lono and grabbing a lei from the stack. She quickly grabbed a blue wave-patterned surfboard and raced confidently towards the waterfall.]

" _'Cause Iii'm, the surfing queen... And! I'll show them who'll be winning!_ "

[She jumped into the air and hung briefly, landing on her board in the water on 'surfing queen'. The camera panned up to her confident smile as she narrowed her eyes and leaned forward, speeding down the stream.]

" _I'm winnin' for Al;_ "

[Topher sang, the focus cutting back to his close-up. In the background, Lightning and Bridgette sang "Yeah yeah!" together.]

" _He's always been my pa-al!_ "

[The camera pulled back to show an image of Alejandro reclining shirtless on Topher's surfboard; the phantom charmer and host wannabe exchanged finger pistols before Alejandro disappeared in a sudden puff. Once again, Lightning and Bridgette sang "Yeah yeah!" in the background.]

" _Sha-representin' Suugaar!_ "

[Lightning sang as the camera cut to him, showing an image of the pageant queen reclining on Lightning's surfboard in a similar pose as the image of Alejandro on Topher's. In the background, Bridgette and Topher sang "Yeah yeah!"]

" _Even though I don't, liiike heeer!_ "

[Lightning sang soulfully, the image of Sugar on his board scowling and disappearing with an annoyed puff.

"Whoa-oa!" Topher suddenly yelped, gaining the attention of both Lightning and the camera. "Hey, hey, hey!" he said in a slight panic as he ducked under a few burning rocks that had been ejected from the volcanic vent. "Ahh!" he finished as the tip of his board was singed by one.

"Yeow," Lightning said, the camera cutting back to him as he too tried to dodge the semi-molten rock and got his board burned in the process. "Sha- _hot_!"]

" _Gotta speed up; slip through;_ "

[Bridgette sang determinedly to a few pointed drum beats, the shot pulling back from her close-up to show her deftly swerving around every bit of lava that rained down upon her.]

" _Sorry boys I'm, past yoouuu!_ "

[She straightened up slightly to smile and wave at her opponents as she quickly sped between Lightning on the left and Topher on the right, both boys looking startled.]

" _Though you're good, I am too;_ "

[Lightning replied, speeding up and passing Topher; in the background, all three of their voices chanted "Yeah yeah!"]

" _Don't count me out so soo~oon;_ "

[The host wannabe countered, quickly catching up so that he, Lightning, and Bridgette were vying for the lead. Once again, all three of their voices chanted "Yeah yeah!" in the background.]

" _Oh yeah, I'm winning this ti~ime!_ "

[Topher continued, taking the lead briefly as the three voices chanted "Yeah yeah!" once again.]

" _Sorry dude, it's mine!_ "

[Lightning countered, taking the lead again as the three voice chanted "Yeah yeah!"]

" _Looks like you're still be-hind;_ "

[Bridgette told them, easily gaining the lead again and even widening it as their three voices chanted "Yeah yeah!" again.]

" _Oh~oh, I'm winnin' this time!_ "

[The three sang together, then camera zooming out to show Bridgette in the lead, Lightning behind her,and Topher in the rear. For one last time, their three voices sang "Yeah yeah!" in the background.]

" _Yeah, yeah, yeah!_ "

[The three sang together again, finishing out the song.]

~/~

Bridgette was still in the lead after the music faded out, and was quickly faced with another volley of burning rocks. "Whoa!" she said, quickly swerving out of the way of one after the other. She quickly looked back and wiped the sweat from her brow, but in her distraction allowed another burning rock to land on her board just as she shot off the final waterfall.

She smiled confidently, then looked down and noticed the rock burning her board. "Oh no!" she said, her panic causing her to throw her lei a little early. She splashed down safely into the ocean, but the ring of flowers didn't quite make it all the way to its intended target – it only landed on the raft, and was promptly eaten by the deer. The buck batted its wide, long-lashed eyes, earning a groan from Bridgette.

"Sha-woo~" Lightning said, striking a pose as he shot over the top of the waterfall on his board. "Sha-Lightning!" he exclaimed, giving his lei a strong toss. A dramatic tune played as the camera followed its flight; it ended up soaring right over the glaring rhino and landed on top of the flag behind it.

"Aww, sha- _what_?!" Lightning said in annoyance as he splashed down into the water.

"Sorry Lightning, you lost," Bridgette said amicably as she swam over to the uber-jock.

The two were promptly alerted by a scream overhead, and looked up to see Topher finally shooting over the waterfall on his board. The background music picked up in intensity as he flew straight for his target, and the all-black jaguar snarled in anticipation of a bit of food coming its way. The host wannabe somehow managed to splash down right in front of the raft and let the lei loose as he did so, and he just managed to hook it on the big cat's lower jaw. It stopped roaring and looked down in confusion, and Topher resurfaced behind the raft.

"D...did I win?" he said, looking around as he caught his breath. The jaguar was shown spitting own the lei as a triumphant tune played, and Topher grinned. "What am I saying? Of _course_ I won!"

"Wow, Topher _actually_ did it!" Sam said as the scene returned to the hosts and the crowd went wild.

"I know, it's so _shocking_!" Dakota added.

"Crap, I _knew_ I shouldn't have stood down so easily..." Jo muttered as the camera panned over to the remaining members of Team Ella.

"Hey, at least Bridge managed to out- _surf_ the others," Geoff told her.

"Not like it _matters_ ," Sierra huffed. "Why'd it have to be _Topher_ who won? Neither Alejandro nor _especially_ him deserve it!"

"Well I guess there's nothin' we can do about it now," DJ said.

"Yeah," Sammy chimed in. "Besides, at least Bridgette won _something_ for Ella, right?" she asked looking around at the others for confirmation.

"She _better_ ," Beardo said, "or it's gonna get" he mimicked the sound of a war zone "out here."

"Uhh, speaking of potential _danger_ ," Shawn spoke up with a hint of nervousness, "anyone see where the bear went?"

"He's over here," Scott answered from a few feet away, "enjoying his new _chew-toy_." He pointed over his shoulder, and the camera panned over to Bruno sleepily chewing on the head of a very frightened and very immobile Blaineley.

"Shouldn't we, like, _do_ something?" Beth whispered to B, the camera cutting to show them and the equally-bound Scarlett nearby. The silent genius just shrugged.

"Well then...," Sam said as the shot cut back to him and Dakota, looking a little stunned.

"At least we can finally have that hug now that Bruno's, umm, _occupied_ ," the heiress said as a touching tune played, and both lovers smiled.

They moved to hug, only for a loud a deliberate cough to interrupt them. "Excuse me, hate to interrupt," Topher said as he walked up, Bridgette and Lightning right behind him and all three still dripping wet, "but about that _advantage_ I just won?"

Dakota sighed, then resumed her smile. "Of course!" she told the young man. "I mean, you _did_ do a pretty amazing job out there."

"Yeah," Sam chuckled, "especially since nobody was _actually_ supposed to win."

" _What_?" the three challenge competitors said at once, the crowd wincing and murmuring their obvious disapproval.

"It was Chris' idea," Dakota explained as a trendy tune began to play. "But someone _did_ win, because you guys are _totally_ awesome!" She looked at the camera, and the crowd cheered. "And thanks to _Topher_ , Alejandro is going to receive a _major_ advantage to use in the final challenge!" As she spoke, the black male intern brought a wheelbarrow out center stage. "Which, umm, is good for _him_...I...guess?" she added uncertainly before resuming her usual smile. "A wheelbarrow!" she announced, the camera moving in for a close-up of the tool. "It'll make sense later, I promise," she added as and aside.

"Ooh, and Team Ella, don't be feeling left out!" she continued. "Since Bridgette got second, Ella wins the minor advantage: a _baby_ _stroller_!" A white male intern wheeled the carriage out next to the wheelbarrow.

"And since Team Sugar got _last_ ," Sam announced, "sorry dude," he added as a quick aside to a disappointed Lightning, "Sugar doesn't win anything...though I don't think anybody really wanted to see her have an advantage in the finale anyway."

"I did," Scarlett said through her face mask.

"Yeah, well, I don't think that's gonna help her much right now," Sam said.

"I guess knowin' that Sugar's hosed makes up fer the fact that Alejandro's got an advantage, eh," Ezekiel said, getting a few murmurs and nods of agreement from the others.

" _How_ will Alejandro's advantage play out?" Dakota asked the camera with a sly smile. "Can _Ella_ keep up with just a stroller? Will Sugar even be _able_ to keep up with her disadvantage?"

"And how in the name of _Lono_ will any of them even _get here_ for the finale?" Sam added.

"Find out the answers to those and a _ton_ of other questions next time," Dakota said, spreading her arms wide as the season's blaring title music played, "on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

"Yes, and hopefully we won't all perish trying to get off this island," Dawn said calmly as the music peaked, the shot already zoomed out.

"Uhh...what?" Sam asked the moonchild as the head of every former contestant present turned towards her.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And, well, there you have it. Not a whole lot to talk about here, at least not in-depth, but there are several small things to point out.

The first is that I made it a point to give everyone at least something to say, or in B's case to react to. Well, everyone except for Blaineley of course - I didn't want her stealing attention from the character that myself and all you readers like more, so I decided to just follow canon by putting her in a full body cast. In my defense, I never did show her or Dawn landing after their Drop of Shame.

Both songs are, of course, Shuffled version of their canon counterparts, with 'Who You Gonna Root For?' being the more different of the two. Without Harold, Courtney, or anybody else that was both musically inclined and willing to interrupt a song like that I just had it continue like the producers and hosts probably planned; it might get a little repetitive at times, but I really liked being able to show off more clips.

For the second song and associated challenge, Bridgette was pretty much locked in as a competitor as far back as my decision to make Dakota and Sam the Aftermath hosts way back when I was planning TSA. She's a surfer, so it was only natural that she jump at the chance to compete in a surfing challenge - and it wouldn't be hard to give her a good finalist to root for. Lightning was the second one I decided on, though I did briefly consider giving his (or Topher's) spot to Jo since she's the type to want to compete as well. But in the end, Bridgette vs Lightning was too good to pass up even if it didn't exactly play out like that in the song. And as for Topher...well, he's the only one who'd volunteer for Alejandro, and since I wanted to give him a bit of focus anyway with his very brief stint as cohost, I figured he'd make a good choice for the challenge.

The animals were easy to choose - Alejandro got his canon jaguar; the deer suits Ella even more than it suited Cody; and the rhino for Sugar both gave me an animal that wasn't used in canon, while also suiting her pretty well. And as for the winners...well, I ended up deciding that the last person to throw would have to get the major advantage for the tension to keep, and that had to be Topher. So Alejandro gets the wheelbarrow, Ella the stroller, and Sugar gets nothing...but whether or not any of that will end up mattering has yet to be written.

Next week, we'll see the Final Three's journey to Hawaii, and all the trials and tribulations that involves. I hope you all look forward to it!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (18th Place)

Lightning - (17th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (16th Place)

Geoff - (15th Place)

Scott - (14th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (13th Place)

Sierra - (12th Place)

DJ - (11th Place)

Shawn - (10th Place)

Staci - (9th Place)

Sammy - (8th Place)

Blaineley - (Tied for 7th Place)

Dawn - (Tied for 7th Place)

Ezekiel - (5th Place)

Tyler - (4th Place | Disqualified?)


	25. Chapter 25 - Planes, Trains, and

**Author's Note**

We're almost there, dear readers! All that's left to write of Total Shuffled World Tour are the endings, which of course will be completed on Saturday...the finale has turned out fairly interesting so far, despite me having a less clear image of it compared to, say, last season's battle between Jo and Scarlett. But, it still has a lot of cool moments and I'm hoping it ends up as a satisfying finish to the season, and to a lesser extent the first trilogy of Shuffled fics.

Sunday is when I should be starting work on Total Shuffled Revenge of the Island, so I hope you're all as excited for that as for this season's finale.

But for now, it's time to look at the reviews.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Thanks!

 **DSX62415:** Perhaps, perhaps, but you'll have to wait a bit to see how far Ella gets. And as for Jyuohger, I gotta say I'm a sucker for animal-themed stuff. The mecha were a bit weird at first, but they've grown on me since seeing some of the action shots of them. Oh, and I don't buy merch since I'm jobless and can't really afford to spend any money right now.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Haha, I'm glad you loved last week's songs - especially the first since, as I said, I was worried it was a little repetitive. And yeah, I was really happy giving Bridgette and Lightning another chance to shine, and I'm glad you liked seeing them. And as always, it's great to see somebody rooting for Ella.

 **Guest:** lol no. If anything I'm gonna make things even gayer just to spite you and others like you.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you, as always!

 **Animation Adventures:** I'm glad you loved what I did with Topher! I've wanted to give him a bigger role on the Aftermath for some time, and I'm glad that kind of worked out even if it didn't last for very long. But yes, now Dakota is back where she belongs, and Blaineley is pretty much out of the picture. Glad you loved the flow of everything, as well as the choices I made for the animals and with the first song. I hope this week's episode lives up to your expectations, although I'll stay out of your wager since I'm the one who ultimately decides who will be the Final Two.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Hah, yeah, I had kind of the same realization when writing - there's just nobody in the cast that would butt in and rap like Harold did. Also, thanks for the compliment on the songs. I really have no musical training so I'm unsurprised that I haven't always kept the meter of canon songs, even if I'm not entirely sure what that means exactly...  
I honestly don't recall if a 'Lei one on' line appeared in canon either, but it's a really good line and it just felt obvious to put it in.  
Rooting for Alejandro, eh? Not many are, but there's nothing wrong with preferring him I think. Though of course you'll just have to wait and find out what happens...

 **StarHeart Specials:** Thanks! And yeah, I've found myself putting in a few more season one references in these last few chapters, as relevant...and for the public record, yes I did receive the PM in question.

 **VIPGuest:** Yeah, that's one of the big drawbacks of doing a Ridonculous Race in this universe - there just aren't that many changes to be made. I have considered what I'd do to counter that if I ever do get around to covering the season, but it's still not likely to happen since I need to focus on getting some kind of stable income and such. And yeah, no more Aftermaths because the next three seasons don't have room for them.

 **I. M. Poik:** Glad you enjoyed the second challenge, even if Topher won for Alejandro. Bruno, I think, is meant to be dislikable as a character, basically little more than a nuisance causing physical comedy that tends to fall a little flat. Maybe I should've done more with him. And as for the lack of rap, while I did like it in canon I just didn't think trying to replicate it would work as nobody in the Peanut Gallery would want to butt in like that - the best choice would be Beardo, but he and Ella weren't as close as Harold and Cody were in canon.  
And hey, only two more weeks before the new cast at least!

 **bruno14:** I'm glad you enjoyed last week's episode, and Topher's role in it even if he wasn't a host for very long. I'm glad you enjoyed the song as well. And as for the Ridonculous Race...unfortunately, I don't plan on doing it any time in the near future. I need to devote my time to getting a steady job, which is going to leave me with less time to spend on writing fanfiction even after I finish the Shuffled series.

 **OMAC001:** Hah, yeah, the finales just kind of creep up on you don't they? I hope you enjoy it!

 **FOWLKON:** Yeah, I did want to have some comparisons between Cody and Ella, but I also didn't want the challenge to be over right off the bat. Bridgette's the obvious choice to get to the end first, but that doesn't mean she had to make the throw perfectly. Alejandro being like Heather was in canon...may have been a bit of an exaggeration in the end; he's certainly not set up to be as sympathetic as heather was by the end of World Tour. And Lightning just doesn't seem like the type to hold himself back from winning just because it would hurt someone he doesn't like. Sam's jabs at Topher...well, they weren't meant to be that mean-spirited (and I'm honestly having trouble remembering anything besides Sam implying that Alejandro wasn't the greatest), but maybe I'm off on that? I don't know. And as for Scarlett...well, Chris _does_ have friends in Area 51 places. Plus, he's the type who would exaggerate what would happen in the guards caught somebody just to scare the kids.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Yeah, not having anymore Aftermaths is gonna be a little weird, but I just can't bring myself to make room for them in the next few seasons. And yeah, not much longer before this season ends...and whatever happens, I hope you enjoyed it as much as you have been. And personally, I disagree with the assertion that Sugar smells that bad - at least not all the time. She seems like the type who takes washing herself seriously, as I can't imagine smelly girls win pageants.

 **Joel Connell:** Wow, thanks! And as for what happens in these final two episodes...well, your prediction is as interesting as anyone's, but you'll just have to sit back and read on to find out what happens. Oh, and unfortunately I'm not currently looking for any fanfictions to adopt - as I'm going to have to devote a lot of time to job searching in the next few months, I just don't have the time. And once Total Shuffled Pahkitew Island is eventually over, I don't intend on working on anything besides Total Drama Rebirth until my life has stabilized.

 **kaijudude1000:** Thanks! I hope you enjoy these last two episodes.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yeah, I'll admit that had Ella not gotten the spot as a World Tour newcomer she almost certainly wouldn't have done as well as she has. But I'm actually glad she was because of that, since it's allowed me to flesh her out more even if not everyone likes her.  
I'm glad you enjoyed the final Aftermath, both for the first song, Topher getting more love, and for Zeke, Lightning, and Jo's reasoning behind who they're supporting.  
And I will actually say some things about All-Stars - namely that the hero-villain ratios will be the same as canon between the two generations, simply because that's what works best for the two casts, and also that figuring out who exactly is going to be a hero is freaking tough, as there's a lot of good options and not many slots - even for the second gen cast. There are a few locks, but that doesn't necessarily include Tyler and/or Ella. I'm probably not going to finalize the cast until late into Revenge of the Island.

 **mitchn:** Thank you! As for your questions, Alejandro feels guilt over what he's done towards Ella basically because he's never actually encountered someone as pure of heart as her, and he knows that he's kind of tainting that aspect of her. Why Tyler and Ella joined the show in season three in the first place wasn't my decision, as who debuts in what Shuffled season was decided randomly. Their becoming sort of a couple is just because I thought they might be cute together. My favorite Shuffled character...I don't think I can answer that. There's just so many that I like for different reasons, and still so many who I haven't even written yet. And as for Sugar hating Ella...well, I think like in canon it's basically just an instinctual sort of thing - Sugar's so used to dealing with competitive pageant girls, and she mistakenly thought Ella was one so it was only natural that she'd grow to hate who she views as her biggest rival on the show.

And that, at last, is that for the week - and very nearly for the season. As usual the TVTropes page for this series could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what you all add next.

The Final Three are as follows:

Boys \- Alejandro

Girls \- Ella, Sugar

Today they'll have to somehow make their way from Drumheller to Tijuana to Hawaii, and it's sure to be an adventure of a lifetime. Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 25 – Planes, Trains, and Condor-mobiles**

"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris opened as the plane icon was shown flying northward from Rapa Nui to Alberta, Canada on the season's world map, and the jumbo jet itself was shown blowing past a precariously-balanced boulder and knocking it off its perch. "Alberta! It'll blow you away!" The barren pit in Drumheller they'd visited was shown, as was Sugar sitting in the electric chair. "HOW COULD THIS _HAPPEN_?!" the host asked angrily over a clip of the plane exploding in the distance.

"Well _first_ , Tyler told Ella to fend for herself this time," the jock was shown telling Ella to focus on her own dinosaur before running off with a box of parts to use for his, "causing Alejandro _and_ Sugar to rub it in in hopes of blowing them further apart." Both the charmer and the pageant queen were shown taunting Ella as she dug. "But their plans were blown _sky-high_ when Tyler's advice actually made Ella _more_ confident," Ella was shown winning the first part of the challenge and being congratulated by Tyler, "and together they _exploded_ on Alejandro and Sugar, calling them out for their heinous actions." A few pieces of the musical number were shown, focusing on Tyler calling out Sugar and Ella countering Alejandro's derision.

"This managed to _implode_ Alejandro and Sugar's alliance," the pageant queen was shown agreeing to vote for Alejandro, followed by the third and final vote against him being read, "and the dude _sooo_ would've been a goner. Except _Tyler_ ," the jock was shown trying and failing to catch the flaming marshmallow he'd accidentally flung towards a pool of oil, " _demolished_ my _plane_!" The host was shown standing in the moonlit wreckage of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet, bringing an end to the recap montage.

"Did I _mention_ we've got no ride now?" Chris asked, he and Chef now sitting in the remains of the cockpit in their usual piloting outfits, the sun now shining overhead. As the host spoke, Chef grabbed the control stick, looked shocked as it immediately detached, and threw it away with wide eyes. "HMM? BECAUSE _TYLER_ _BLEW IT UP_?!" Chris continued angrily, slamming his hands down on the broken console and standing up towards the camera.

He sat back down, pulled out a paper bag, and started to breath into it. After a few seconds he calmed down enough to stop hyperventilating, letting go of the bag and looking back at the camera. "Our Final Three are jetting to Hawaii...," he said as the series' capstone music began to play, "without a _jet_ , so...get set for some _other_ kind of race to the million, right here on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

The camera zoomed out as always, showing the morning sun over the wreckage of the plane that was now stranded in Drumheller, Alberta. The front part of the fuselage, which had been intact enough for Chris and Chef to use the cockpit, promptly fell off whatever had been supporting it leading to a pained "Ouch!" from the host.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

"The hot tub with my name spelled out in Italian tiles... _gone_...," Chris muttered despairingly, the episode opening on a pan across the wreckage of the plane to where the host stood with Alejandro and Sugar near the remains of last night's campfire pit. "My monogrammed sneakers!... _gone_...," he added, looking at the two uncaring villains. "My custom-calibrated stubble-trimmer," Alejandro and Sugar shared an odd look, " _gone_..."

"So...shall we continue the game?" Alejandro suggested.

"Yeah," Sugar chimed in, "I second that there motion."

"As usual," Chris turned to them, "you two are thinking of _nothing_ but yourselves."

He looked to the side as Ella grunted with effort, then pushed a large sheet of broken metal away from the wreckage. "Excuse me, but could somebody help me with this?" she asked the others.

"What about the _bigger_ humanitarian crisis?" Chris asked the two villains. " _How_ am I supposed to keep _this face_ fresh," he pointed at his stubbled visage, "without my hyperbolic chamber?"

With another grunt of effort, Ella leaned down and lifted a bald and scuffed Tyler out of the wreckage on her back, his arms hanging over her shoulders. "Wow, thanks," he told her woozily. "I thought it was usually the _princess_ who gets rescued like this."

"I know," Ella said as she slowly carried him away from the jet remains, "I can't say I expected I'd ever have to do this. Why were you even _in_ there?"

"Dunno," Tyler shrugged. "I musta rolled around a lot in my sleep last night, and was just in the wrong place when some more stuff fell."

"Oh," Ella said, pausing a few seconds before following up with "Well, are you okay?"

"Yeah, totally!" Tyler answered enthusiastically. "I mean, y'know, aside from the hair. Oh, and I can't really feel anything from the waist _down_ , either."

Ella gasped, and nearly dropped Tyler. "That's not good at all!" she told him. "We need to find you somewhere to sit. Maybe one of the seats survived the explosion?" She started looking around the area, but ended up collapsing under Tyler's weight.

xxx

"Now that Tyler's out of the game," Alejandro mused in the remains of the restroom confessional, its camera still surprisingly functional, "it _may_ be to my advantage to help him out a little bit. If nothing else, it may earn me some _gratitude_ from Ella – a useful asset to have at this point in the game. All I need is to have her hesitate against me just _once_ and I'll be able to knock her out of the finale."

xxx

The static cut away to show the camera focused on a wheelchair, pushed by a just-out-of-frame Alejandro. "Here," he said as he reached Tyler and Ella and the shot zoomed out, "use _this_ , amigo." He lifted the jock into the wheelchair, and even brushed a bit of dirt off his tracksuit.

"Uhh, thanks," Tyler said warily.

"That's...unexpectedly _kind_ of you, Alejandro," Ella added.

"It is no problem," Alejandro told them, turning to walk away.

A grand tune played as the shot cut to the wreckage and Chef Hatchet pushed a giant metal box out into the open, earning an excited look from Chris. "Hey! My emergency kit! We're _saved_!" he declared, running towards the giant box with a hearty laugh. "That's right, kids," he turned back with a grin, "get ready for surf, sun, and _beauties_ in grass skirts, we're going to Hawaii!" He did a few short hula moves as the same Hawaiian tune that had been used for the previous episode's first song played, and the Final Three cheered.

"I _know_ ," Chris said as he walked over to Chef, "best host ever! _Never_ doubt me." It was then that Chef pulled on the rope he'd been holding, causing the walls of the metal box to fall away and reveal the small red helicopter inside.

The four teens moved closer, and Alejandro was the first to speak. "Uh, is that a two-seater?"

"Yup!" Chris answered happily. "Chef flies, I supervise."

"And _we_?" Alejandro followed up.

"Will be competing to get to the big island _first_ , using only your wits, and whatever you find out here," Chris explained.

"Umm...aren't we in the middle of nowhere though?" Ella asked hesitantly.

"True," the host told her, "so check these fancy GPSes I'm generally giving you!" he said, a dramatic tune playing as he took a trio of walkie-talkies and GPS devices from the helicopter and tossed one each to each finalist.

Sugar raised an eyebrow as she looked down at the GPS; the screen showed a single blue dot and nothing else around. "Middle of Nowhere, Alberta," she read before looking around and shrugging. "Well, it ain't wrong."

"Set 'em for Tijuana Beach," Chris told them. "It's _right_ on the Mexican border. Now _move it_!" he commanded as the helicopter started up behind him. "Go! Go! Go!"

Alejandro, Sugar, and Ella frantically entered the destination into their devices, and the shot moved over to a confused Tyler. "Wait, what am I supposed to do?" he asked the host.

"Make like you took the Drop of Shame," Chris answered angrily, standing in the doorway of the hovering helicopter, "and figure it out yourself!"

Tyler gaped, then scowled.

xxx

"Dude, what is his _problem_?" Tyler asked in the remains of the restroom confessional, still in his wheelchair. "It's not like I _meant_ to blow up the plane! Besides, I should be at the finale _too_ , right? Everyone _else_ is gonna be there, so why not me? He could at _least_ give me directions..."

xxx

"Don't worry!" Chris called out to the Final Three, "you're all _totally_ gonna make it!" The helicopter finally took off, leaving the four teens to watch in stunned silence for a few seconds.

Ella was the first to make a move, turning and heading back into the wreckage with Tyler right behind her. "Well, if Alejandro could find something as useful as a _wheelchair_ in here," she reasoned, "then maybe _we_ can find something to help us get to Tijuana?"

"Sounds great!" Tyler told her. "And...wait, did you say 'we'?"

"Well, yes," Ella told him, looking back over a large piece of sheet metal. "I'm not going to just _leave_ you out here, not after everything we've been through together. I mean, it can't be _too_ much harder to get two people to Mexico instead of one, right?"

Tyler stared at her for a second, then smiled. "Sounds right to me!" Ella smiled as well, and the two went back into the wreckage.

The camera cut to Alejandro and Sugar, watching nearby. "So, is this the part where we team up to kick Ella's butt outta the Final Three or what?" Sugar asked.

"No," Alejandro answered coolly, "why would you think I'd team up with _you_ again?"

"Well we _did_ make a big deal about sayin' how we'd be goin' up against each other in the finale last night," Sugar explained.

Alejandro snorted in contempt. "That was _solely_ because I doubt Ella will _ever_ be able to make it there under her own power," he explained. "It does not mean I wish to team up with _you_ to make it happen, _especially_ after you _voted_ for me last night."

"Aww, are you still mad about _that_?" Sugar asked with a jovial smile, quickly wrapping an arm around the charmer's shoulder. "I've voted for lotsa people, an' so have you! It's how the game _works_ , you know that!"

" _Yes_ ," Alejandro said, forcefully brushing her arm away, "and I'm _beginning_ to see why people react so poorly to their expectations being _betrayed_."

"And what ' _expectations_ ' did I betray?" Sugar asked in an almost mocking tone.

"You were _supposed_ to vote for _Ella_ last night," Alejandro shot at her, "you know, the person you _hate_ and have been trying to _get rid of_ all season?"

"Ohhh," Sugar said in realization, " _that's_ what yer talkin' about. Yeah, see, I figured that since Ella's actually more _pathetic_ than I first thought, she'd be fun to crush in the final challenge. And with you bein' a big threat and not havin' invincibility and all, I figured why not make my life a whole lot more easy?"

"And because of _that_ , I find myself even _more_ unable to trust you than I was before," Alejandro told her. "Prepare yourself for the full force of Hurricane _Alejandro_ , next stop – _Hawaii_ ," he threatened. "And I sincerely hope you _don't_ make it," he finished before spinning on his heel and walking away.

Sugar watched him walk for a few seconds, then put her hand on her hips and huffed.

xxx

"And with that," Alejandro explained in the ruin restroom, "I am free of any excess _baggage_ going in to the finale. Sugar will no longer trouble me if she knows whats good for her, and _I_ won't have to hold myself back so she can keep up. So long as I travel alone I won't lose focus, and I will _finally_ be able to get first place as I should have two _seasons_ ago. This is my _redemption_."

xxx

"Well if that's how you're gonna be," Sugar said into her walkie talkie, "then prepare to _lose_ , pretty boy!"

"Shut _up_ , Sugar!" Alejandro retorted, the radio feed cutting off before Sugar had the chance to respond.

" _Fine_ ," Sugar said. "The jokes on him, though, 'cause I'm the only one who's gonna make it to that million dollars. All I gotta do is find some way to get there..." She looked around a bit, then started walking in the same direction Alejandro had gone.

The scene moved to the wreckage of the first class cabin, where Ella and Tyler were searching through the rubble.

"Let's see now...," the singer said before pulling out a large inflatable raft...with a hole in it. "No, I don't think this will do," she said, putting it down. "Oh, this might!" she said, pulling out a rusty bicycle...that promptly lost its front wheel. "...or not," she said. She tossed the broken bike away, then sighed sadly. "Maybe I was wrong about finding something useful in here," she said as she walked past Tyler, who was looking upward.

"Well then, I guess we'd better get going the _hard_ way," Tyler told her. "And quick, before that _vulture_ gets the wrong idea." He pointed skyward, both Ella and the camera shifted their gazes to see the silhouette of a large, broad-winged bird circling high above them.

Another scene change took the focus to a large rock formation as Alejandro hauled himself up from behind it to get a better look. "If you wanna find a thief," he smirked as he looked down at the other side of the formation, "follow his money. If you wanna find _Chris_ ," the perspective moved over his shoulder to show the plane's wreckage, and more importantly two interns with a caged baby panda outside a truck, "follow the evil beasts he _loooves_ to throw into the challenges." The camera zoomed in as the interns picked up the cage and loaded it onto the truck.

"Tijuana Beach," Alejandro told himself, "here I come!" he dropped back down behind the rock, and was heard running off.

/

A flat, ringing tune played as the camera cut to the blazing midday sun, the camera panning down onto Sugar. The pageant queen was walking through the cactus-filled desert with her eyes locked on to her GPS, until she suddenly tripped and fell over something.

"Aww, dang it!" she said, the camera moving down to show her lying on train tracks. "Who the heck left these out here where anyone could trip over 'em?"

She looked to her right, and spotted a building and windmill next to the tracks off in the distance. "Hold on," she said, brow creasing in thought, "if that's a _train station_...then maybe I can hitch a ride!" She grinned excitedly.

/

The scene flashed to a head-on view of the truck, a walkie-talkie switching on inside it. "Attention competitors," Alejandro announced, the shot cutting inside to show a monkey, baby panda, baby seal, and book-reading bear sitting in cages listening to the nearby charmer talk, "I am currently traveling _south_ at 90 kilometers per hour. So, you may as well give up."

Just as he ended his smarmy message, a caged sasquatch behind him reached out and pulled him into a kiss. He immediately pushed away and recoiled in disgust, but lost his balance as he backed up and tripped into an open crate – the lid of which promptly closed on top of him.

"On an unrelated note," he said over the walkie-talkie, "HELP!"

The camera cut back outside as he made his plea, showing the trucking driving away and honking it horn.

/

Another flash took the focus to Chris and Chef in the helicopter, the camera quickly cutting in for a close-up of the host's master GPS device. It showed three dots moving along a simple roadmap – a blue dot unmoving in the upper right; a red dot on the road approaching it, and a yellow dot further behind slowly following the same road.

"Sugar's ahead but _stalled_ ," Chris commented with a gleeful smile over his own walkie-talkie, "and the yeti's new boyfriend is quickly catching up! But Ella's still taking things _slowly_ for some reason."

/

"Well, I guess that means we're going in the right _direction_ at least," Ella said, looking from her walkie talkie to her GPS as she walked through the desert, Tyler wheeling himself along right behind her.

"Good," Tyler said. "Maybe one of the others found something we can hitch a ride on."

"I sure hope so," Ella said. "I'd hate to have gone through so _much_ only to lose because we couldn't catch a bus or something."

"Yeah...," Tyler said, an the two spent a few seconds in silence before the jock spoke up again with a guilty expression. "So, uh, I was thinkin'...uh, about _us_."

"Yes?" Ella asked, looking curiously back over her shoulder.

"And, uh, like, "Tyler continued nervously, the camera zooming in as he clenched his eyes shut, "I know I said I love you, but after everything that's happened I'm starting to doubt if I'm actually, like, _in_ love with you. And I totally get that even if I _am_ in love you probably don't feel the same way, so-"

He was stopped by a sudden finger on his lips, the camera zooming back out to show that Ella was smiling at him. "Thank you for telling me that, Tyler," she told him. "But since we're both in a bit of a stressful situation right now, I think we should probably just wait until after the finale to figure things out, okay?"

"Okay," Tyler said in a slight daze.

"Good," Ella told him just before the winged shadow passed over them again. "Also, that bird is still following us, and I'm _starting_ to doubt that it's a _vulture_..."

Tyler raised his brow, then put his hand to it and looked up; the camera quick-panned up from his squinting gaze to the bird's silhouette, and a dramatic yet grand tune played as it was finally revealed to be a giant condor. It looked downwards, screeched, and dived.

"Oh no, what's _that thing_ doing here?!" Tyler shouted in panic, hunkering down with his arms over his head while just Ella stood calmly as the condor swooped down and landed in front of them. It eyed each teen suspiciously, then shuffled about and squawked.

Ella smiled. "Oh, you're the father of that _lovely_ clutch back on Rapa Nui, aren't you?" she asked brightly, immediately earning the bird's attention again. It blinked, then nodded happily – or at least non-menacingly. "Well then, it's so nice to see you again!" Ella told it. "My friend and I are currently making our way _south_ ," she pointed first to herself and Tyler, who had tentatively raised his head, then towards the direction they'd been heading. "If you'd like to come with us, we'd be happy to have the company!"

"Uhh...," Tyler said uncertainly, immediately attracting the condor's attention again. "Uh, yeah, what she said!" he told it, wiping the sweat from his brow when it looked away again.

"Well, we'd better get going, then," Ella said, turning to walk away. The male condor immediately hopped into the air and landed in front of her, then stared at her for a bit before lowering himself closer to the ground and motioning to his back.

"You...you want me to _ride_ you?" Ella asked in growing awe. The condor stared for a second, then nodded. "Thank you so much! I'm absolutely _honored_ , and it'll make our trip much easier!" She clasped her hands in thanks, then hummed happily as she twirled over to the bird. She laid upon its back with her arms around its neck, and the condor stood up and spread its wings.

"Uh, what about me?" Tyler asked, still in his wheelchair.

/

Whoops and hollers of excitement were heard as the footage skipped forward, showing the condor in flight with Ella on its back and Tyler in its talons hanging from his shoulders, the wheelchair left behind. " _Extreme_!" he shouted giddily, and the camera panned up to a giggling Ella as she took her walkie-talkie back out.

"Hello everyone!" she said into it. "This is Ella, and I'd like to announce that Tyler and I are now _airborne_!" She and Tyler laughed again, and the condor ascended off-camera with a flap.

/

" _Airborne_?" Sugar repeated, the scene cutting to her walking down the aisle of a train's passenger car and stopping in front of a young white woman dressed in black typing on a laptop. "How the heck did they do _that_?" the pageant queen muttered as she sat down in the seat opposite the woman in black. "What're _you_ lookin' at?" Sugar asked the other woman upon noticing her stare, prompting the woman in black to roll her eyes and return to her work.

"Airborne...," Sugar muttered, slumping down with her elbows on the table she was sharing and her head in her hands.

The camera moved to the window behind them, showing a certain truck driving past. Cutting outside, the truck was shown dumping its cages and crates into a cargo car of the train, and Alejandro could be heard yelling in alarm from his wooden prison.

"Update time, kids!" Chris said over his walkie-talkie as the scene cut back to the helicopter. "Alejandro has gotten _awful_ close to Sugar, so its only a matter of time before they find each other. Fun, right?"

Back down below, the train let out a burst of steam and started moving. It blew its whistle, and the scene cut back to the car Sugar was in, now looking up and down the aisle with narrow eyes.

"Hello, passengers!" an unfamiliar male voice came over the train's intercom system, immediately gaining Sugar's attention. "And welcome to this non-stop trip to _Mexico_!"

"Well that's good," the pageant queen said to herself. "If I can just stay on here without trouble I'll win easy. But if Al's around, I gotta be _prepared_."

The woman in black gave her a questioning look, to which Sugar angrily replied "Mind yer own _beeswax_ , missy!" The woman in black wasn't impressed.

Back outside again the camera zoomed in on a boxcar, then cut inside to show the caged Total Drama animals – and the smaller wooden crate that Alejandro promptly and finally burst out of. "Ugnh, que _m_ _álo_ ," he groaned as he took in a breath of fresh air; kissy faces from the nearby sasquatch earned another groan and a quick spit and mouth-wiping.

"Now to make sure _Sugar's_ trip ends _here_ ," he declared, standing up and stepping out of the crate. "Though where here _is_ exactly, I am not sure," he added, looking around the room in concern.

He made his way to a nearby doorway, but stopped upon hearing a dog-like whine from inside another crate. He opened it, and recoiled in shock when Staci lifted her head out of the crate and flopped it up onto the side, bags under her eyes and her arms tied behind her back.

"How did you even _get_ here, chica?" Alejandro asked in wide-eyed disbelief.

"I don't know," the wolfish girl whined, "I think the interns must've drugged me or something."

Alejandro sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, a dramatic chanting score rising up in the background. "I _see_. I'll release you, but in exchange I have a little _favor_ to ask."

"I'll do whatever, just let me out of here!" Staci whined again, prompting Alejandro to bend over and work on her bonds.

/

A flash took the scene back to Ella, Tyler, and the condor, still soaring through the sky. "Are you doing alright down there?" the singer called out to her companion.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Tyler replied, the shot panning down to show his wind-whipped face. "This is probably the coolest thing I've done in my entire _life_!"

Ella giggled, then turned her attention to her mount. "And how are _you_ doing, Mr. Condor?" she asked sweetly. The condor looked back at her, then squawked in a fairly positive tone. "Great to hear it," Ella said. "Now, what kind of song would you like to hear next?"

"Uhh, can you try one to help him go _down_?" Tyler asked in rising alarm as the background music turned tense. "We gotta _move_!" He pointed ahead of them, and the viewpoint changed to show that they were quickly approaching a certain red helicopter.

Ella and Tyler screamed in alarm, then Chris and Chef screamed in the helicopter, then Ella and Tyler screamed again, then Chris and Chef, and finally the condor swooped under while the helicopter ascended, the two airborne groups safely passing each other.

"Uhh, _Ella_?" Chris asked into his walkie talkie.

"Yes?" the singer answered.

"Are you _seriously_ dragging Tyler along with you?" the host followed up, the helicopter moving to keep pace above the newly-annoyed condor.

"Well, yes," Ella replied.

"Okay, you _do_ remember that we already have a cling-on named Staci, right?" Chris continued. "We _don't_ need another one."

" _Cling-on_?!" Tyler exclaimed in outrage.

"Umm, well, you _did_ say we could use whatever we found back at the crash site," Ella hesitantly told him.

Chef nodded, and Chris smirked. "Hey, it's your funeral," he told her.

He ended his broadcast there, just as a message came over the helicopter's radio. "Attention, an extreme weather warning has been issued for all aircraft," the voice announced.

Chris shut off the radio, then turned to Chef. "I should probably warn them," the host said, holding a smile for a second or two before he and his assistant burst out in laughter.

/

"Okay," Sugar muttered to herself as she paced back and forth in the passenger car, "so once he arrives, I'm gonna say 'It's about _time_ you got here, slowpoke!', and then-"

"Tickets, please! Tickets!" an unseen man called out, quickly earning Sugar's attention.

The announcement was answered by a more familiar voice, explaining "I-I'm sorry, but my...my _dog_ is _completely_ safe and well-trained." The shot cut to Alejandro, standing before a conductor and holding Staci's ponytail like a leash.

"Oh, uh, _yah_ ," Staci added, quickly getting down on all fours, "woof woof! Bark!" The conductor gave her a suspicious look, as she had merely said the words instead of actually barking.

"See?" Alejandro said while Staci sniffed the air, then looked behind the conductor.

"Hey, Sugar's right over there," Staci told the charmer. "Just, like, fyi."

The conductor stared at the wolfish girl in shock, and it was then that Sugar stepped forward – immediately locking eyes with Alejandro in a horizontal split-screen.

"You!" the two villains exclaimed at the same time.

"It's about _time_ you got here, slowpoke!" Sugar added as the split-screen went away.

"And it's about time _you_ got out of my _way_!" Alejandro retorted, releasing his grasp on Staci and pointing at his rival. "Sick her!"

It took Staci a few seconds to catch on, but when she did she charged Sugar on all fours while growling in a rather lackluster fashion. Sugar turned and ran away, and Alejandro chased after the two girls laughing.

/

"Eighty-eight bottles of pop on the wall, eighty-eight bottles of pop," Ella and Tyler were singing as the scene cut back to them and the condor, "take one down and pass it around, eighty-seven bottles of pop on the wall!"

The camera zoomed in on the face of the condor, lazily watching the singer as she and her friend began another verse. "Eighty-seven bottles of pop on the wall, eighty-seven bottles of pop!" The music suddenly became tense as the condor looked forward again and immediately became alarmed; it screeched and stuttered its movement, causing both humans to stop singing and scream as they all flew into a very dark and ominous mass of clouds. A bolt of lightning flashed as they disappeared from view,and the shot cut down to the top of the train as Sugar slowly backed up along the roof of a car.

"Okay, I know yer _mad_ that I tried to get one up on ya last night," she said as Alejandro advanced menacingly into the shot, "but that's no reason to push a girl off a speedin' train, ya hear? Sometimes ya just gotta accept when someone is _better_ than you!"

"And how _exactly_ are you better than me?" Alejandro demanded as Sugar reached the edge of her current car and nervously looked over her shoulder at the gap to the next one.

"Well I _have_ been runnin' practically this entire game," Sugar explained. "Between all that stuff with Scott in the beginnin', then pullin' the wool over everybody's eyes when I got him disqualified, I'm _clearly_ the one that's been behind most of the strategy this season!"

"What are you _talking_ about? _I'm_ the one who's been behind everything!" Alejandro asked angrily, advancing enough for Sugar to turn and hop to the next car of the train. She nearly lost her balance on the landing, but recovered quickly enough to turn around and proudly face down her current rival over the gap.

"Nuh-uh!" Sugar told him. "I'm the reason why Beardo, Scott, Sierra, DJ, Samey, Dawn, _and_ Ezekiel were kicked off the plane! And if I'm bein' honest, I'm pretty much the reason Bridgette and Geoff are gone, too! And had Tyler not messed up, I'd also be the reason why _you'd_ be gone!"

"Don't make me laugh!" Alejandro countered. "Voting correctly _hardly_ makes you a strategic mastermind, and besides, _I'm_ the one who eliminated Ezekiel! And _I'm_ the one who ensured Team Chris lost the dancing challenge, ensuring _Bridgette_ was eliminated and _Geoff_ lost his motivation!"

"But _I'm_ the one who got Geoff into the final dancing contest against Bridgette in the _first place_ ," Sugar countered, "and you never woulda voted fer Zeke _at all_ if I hadn't told Ella to first! And even without all that, I _still_ did more than you!"

"You did not!" Alejandro said. "I eliminated _Scarlett_ , I eliminated _Shawn_ , I eliminated _Blaineley_ , I eliminated _Staci_ , I...," he faltered for a second, but quickly shook it off. "Look, none of that even _matters_ , because while _I_ have been actively fighting against my reputation as a threat, _you_ have been coasting by on people's _ignorance_! That does _not_ make you better than me!"

A clap of thunder echoed ominously, and the sky opened up in a downpour of hail. Sugar, who'd started backing away again, slipped on one of the icy pellets and fell on her butt with a pained grunt.

"See?" Alejandro exclaimed mockingly. "I even handle _hail_ better than you!" He demonstrated this by jumping the gap and landing without slipping or sliding even once. The weather offered up immediate rebuttal, however, in the form of a greater downfall of hail that made both villains wince and flinch with each tiny impact.

/

Up in the clouds, Ella and the condor and even Tyler were also being battered by the elements, the humans screaming as the bird struggled to stay aloft in the wind and ice.

/

The hail rained down upon the windshield of the helicopter as well, but it only elicited a hearty laugh from the host and pilot. "Will the game be called on account of deadly weather?" he asked the camera following him as a darkly dramatic tune played. "Will _anyone_ be left to take home the million? Find out right after this break, on Total! Drama! _World Tour_!"

Lightning flashed right outside the helicopter, earning a panicked yelp from Chris.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode faded back in to the condor and its passengers, the singer still screaming in alarm.

"Sing, Ella, _sing_!" Tyler told her. "Maybe you can get the condor to level out or something!"

"D-dive, condor, _dive_!" she shakily but quickly complied, an ominous tune rising up to match her lyrics. "Flee this storm, so we may stay alive! It's up to you if we are to survive!"

The song seemed to have an effect on the bird, causing it to narrow its eyes and shoot forward with one powerful flap; unfortunately, a sudden thunderclap interrupted Ella before she could continue.

/

The dramatic music continued as the scene flashed back to the train as the two villains stared each other down amidst the storm.

"Alright pretty boy," Sugar said, cracking her knuckles and beckoning for Alejandro to advance, "if you wanna get Sugar'ed then _come get some_!"

"Like I'd do this on _your_ terms!" Alejandro countered, pulling his belt off his pants then suddenly turning around and dropping into the gap between cars to Sugar's confusion. The camera cut to show him standing outside the door to the forward car with the buckle of his belt on the coupling pin. As he tried to pull the pin out and set the rear cars free, Sugar suddenly jumped back over the gap and grabbed the edge of the roof, to Alejandro's shock and displeasure.

"Like _I'd_ do this on _yours_!" Sugar told him as she pulled herself back up to the hail-battered roof.

Alejandro grit his teeth angrily, then began to climb the rear ladder. "Why didn't I ask _more_ of Staci?" he muttered as he got back onto the roof as well, and faced down Sugar once again.

With a few dramatic beats the two villains looked up, and the helicopter descended into view hovering above them at pace with the train.

The musical note icon promptly appeared, the two dings signaling the contestants of what was next.

"I pride myself on my timing," Chris said impishly into his walkie-talkie.

"ARE YOU _KIDDING_ ME?!" Sugar, Alejandro, Ella, and Tyler said as one as a few deep chanted notes played, the former pair on the left half of a split-screen and the latter pair on the right.

"You _know_ the answer to that by now!" Chris answered with a broad smile on his face.

~/~

[A rock and roll guitar riff kicked things off as the camera zoomed away from the helicopter, then panned down to Sugar and Alejandro as the song began.]

" _This show's a train, it's movin' fast; you were never meant to last._ "

[Alejandro sang, grabbing his foe by her hand and pulling her to his side into a close dancing position. He glared sternly at her as he sang, and she just silently flared her nostrils in annoyance.]

" _Voting for me just wasn't right, so look out now you're in my sights!_ "

[He lead them a step to his left, then back to his right, then violently shoved Sugar towards the gap between cars. As he finished the line, he put his hand to his ear to listen to the thud of the pageant queen's landing.]

" _Like I care now, and in fact! You ain't the first one, who's said that!_ "

[Sugar began as Alejandro smugly ran back along the top of the train, the camera cutting to her opening the door to the passenger car, then following along outside the windows as she charged through it.]

" _Just ask the folks who've tried before; they'll tell you what you've got in store!_ "

[The camera cut back to Alejandro as he continued his smug run, reaching the front of the car and jumping across only for Sugar's hands to reach out and grab him by the ankle, causing him to trip and slam down on the roof of the next car. She then climbed up, and finished her line with a cocky grin.]

" _I'm gonna make it! You can't stop me now, just you try!_ "

[The two villains sang together, a riff leading to an image of a GPS device lowering onto the screen. It showed two parallel train tracks, a blue train icon on the left and a red icon on the right which Sugar and Alejandro promptly jumped onto as they sang at each other, pausing between lines to bob their heads to the beat.]

" _Our fortune's waitin'! It's time for you to say, bye, bye, bye!_ "

[The two 'trains' came along a large rock on the left and a cow skull on the right, which the two villains promptly jumped off to grab and admire while they continued their song. They then turned around and threw their chosen weapons, Sugar ducking under the skull and Alejandro dodging the rock. With startled looks on their faces, they finished the line and jumped off the bottom of the GPS screen.]

" _I never thought I'd last so long; I thought I'd go out with a song._ "

[Ella sang as the scene cut to her, then zooming out to show Tyler and the condor listening to her sing.]

" _But now I'm almost at the end; but first we really should ascend!_ "

[All three bobbed and tilted their heads happily in time with the music, then Ella looked forward again and noticed a large tree they were flying right for. She promptly tugged on the condor's neck, a panicked "Aah!" from her followed by a flap from the condor that propelled them up and mostly over the tree. Tyler, still dangling, let out a sharp "Whoa!" as his legs brushed through the branches and leaves.]

" _You're gonna make it! They can't stop you now, let them try!_ "

[The jock sang as the scene switched to an almost top-down view of them flying over the GPS screen. Another tree came up in their path, but the condor easily swerved around it.]

" _Your fortune's waitin'! And they can kiss it all, bye-bye-bye!_ "

[As they continued over roads and rivers and the spaces in between, they came across an angry black bear. It growled and swiped at them, but the condor dodged easily and screeched angrily back at it while Ella looked back and waved with an awkward sort of cheer. At the end of the line, all three bobbed their heads to the music again.]

" _You're in control? Like that's ever been true!_ "

[The melody became something more tango-like as the scene cut back to Alejandro and Sugar on top of the train again, in dancing position once more and turning around at the midpoint of the line.]

" _This is my game to win, and yours to lose!_ "

[As they moved to turn around again, Sugar tripped her 'partner' so that he stumbled, then punched him in the chin hard enough to send him reeling off the train entirely, crying out "Noooooo!" as he fell. Sugar just laughed heartily under the music.]

" _I'm gonna make it! They can't stop me now, let them try!_ "

[The view switched back to the GPS screen, showing Sugar still laughing on her train while Alejandro, now on the ground, looked at a black horse standing behind him. Just as he moved off-screen Ella, Tyler, and the condor flew onto it, singing along with Sugar as the two girls instantly locked eyes. The pageant queen became nervous, however, as her train suddenly turned and took her off-screen entirely leading the flying trio to bob their heads to the music between lines.]

" _Our fortune's waitin'! It's time for you to say, bye, bye, bye!_ "

[Sugar's departure was short-lived, however, as the train soon brought her back on screen as the next line began, much to Ella and Tyler's shock. Even worse for them, the train was moving faster than the condor, so it soon managed to outpace them and Sugar waved mockingly before passing under a set of power lines and off the GPS screen. The music ended as the scene moved back to the real challenge, the eyes of Ella and the condor still closed from a few final head bobs.]

~/~

"Uhh, guys?" Tyler said in rapidly rising panic as he saw them approaching the power lines. " _Guys_?!"

Ella and the condor finally looked ahead again, and the humans screamed as the bird squawked in alarm and tried to fly over it. But with Tyler still dangling from the condor's talons the bird's efforts were not enough – his unfeeling feet brushed the lines, and electricity surged through all three.

/

"Update time!" Chris said, the background music turning tense as the scene flashed to the helicopter, now hovering in a storm-free sky. "According to the latest _da-ta_ , Sugar is the only one still moving towards _Hawaii_!"

/

The scene flashed back to the inside of a passenger car as Sugar dropped down outside the rear door and walked in. "Awesome," she said, eyes on her walkie-talkie. "Ain't _nothin_ ' gonna get in my way now!"

A furry finger tapping on her shoulder caused her to turn around, but the annoyance quickly faded when she saw Staci behind her.

"Hey, can I-" was all the wolfish girl managed to get out before Sugar turned and fled. Staci quickly gave chase, calling out "I just wanna borrow your GPS!"

The camera zoomed outside just then, and a dramatic tune played as the shot panned rightward to Alejandro on the back of a charging black steed. "Yah! Ándale!" he said, urging his horse forward as well as the herd that was following them. "Oh _Sugar_ ," he called out with a dark smile, "I'm _coming_!"

/

Another flash took the scene to the dirt road where Ella, Tyler, and the condor had crash-landed. Despite a few crackles of electricity still surging over them, Ella managed to stagger away from the others with a hand on her head.

"Unnnh...is everyone okay?" she asked in a pained voice.

Tyler managed to pull himself out from under the fallen bird with his arms, say "I think so," then flopped face-down in the dirt. The condor, however, squawked weakly.

Ella sighed. "Well, this is a _complete_ disaster," she said, walking back over to the two. "Neither of you are in _any_ shape to continue on right now, much less _fly_."

"Hey, I can keep going!" Tyler objected, pushing himself back up onto his arms.

"Not without your wheelchair you can't," Ella told him.

"Actually," Tyler said, an almost triumphant tune playing as he slowly and wobbily stood up, "I think that _zap_ got my legs working again."

"Oh," Ella said in surprise, "well as good as that _is_ , I don't think it will help us get to Tijuana Beach before the others. Not while poor Mr. _Condor_ is still hurting...," she said, turning a concern look to the large bird that had only just gotten back on its feet. It seemed to be breathing heavily, and looked generally tired.

It was then that it's stomach growled, loudly enough to stun Ella and Tyler and seemingly embarrass it.

Tyler blinked, then turned to Ella. "Uhh, maybe it's just hungry?"

/

"Don't tell me Ella wants to _give up_ again," Chris asked as the scene cut back to his master GPS, the yellow dot now stationary. "I thought she was _over_ that," he added in annoyance.

/

"Like, seriously, I just want that GPS!" Staci said angrily as she advanced on a wary Sugar inside another empty passenger car.

"Why?" Sugar said defensively, holding the device behind her back. "So you can stop me from gettin' to Hawaii like Alejandro asked you to?" She backed into the next door just then, then quickly spun around and flung it open and fled to the next car before Staci could react.

The wolfish girl growled in exasperation, then gave chase.

/

"But, where are we ever going to find enough food in time?" Ella asked in concern as the scene cut back to her and Tyler, the condor looking around behind them.

"Hmm...well...," the jock said, rubbing his chin in thought then looking towards the barn that was situated in the distance behind them "Well, there's a farm over there..."

" _No_ ," Ella told him sternly. "It doesn't feel right letting Mr. Condor loose on some poor farm animals without at _least_ a fair warning."

"Uhh, okay," Tyler said, looking around again as the condor behind them seemed to spot something and hop away, "what about that?" The camera cut to a small stand a little ways away with a large striped firecracker on its front sign and a slender white man with a hook for a hand and an eye patch manning it.

"Umm, I think that's a _fireworks_ stand," Ella said uncertainly from off-screen.

"Not _that_ ," Tyler said, "I mean the hotdog stand down the road from it!" The shot panned rightward to another stand similar to the first, except that it had a large hotdog on its sign and the man attending it had dark skin – though strangely, he still had an eye patch and a hook hand.

"Oh," Ella said blankly before smiling, "that's perfect! Okay Mr. Condor-" she turned around to address her feathered companion, only to find him missing. "Mr. Condor?"

"Uhh, I think he had the same idea," Tyler said, pointing back to the hotdog stand as the condor glided onto the counter, screeching at the stand's terrified attendant.

"Oh my," Ella said, eyes wide as she and Tyler quickly ran off towards the stand.

/

"Just give me the GPS, okay!" Staci yelled at Sugar as the two girls continued their chase, the camera showing it through the windows before cutting inside just as the pageant queen reached a dessert cart. "I don't _care_ who wins, I just wanna go back home!"

"If that's true," Sugar said, clutching the device to her chest as she and Staci circled the dessert cart, "then why the heck are you helpin' _Al_?"

"Why not? It's not like I like anyone else _more_ ," Staci explained.

"Really?" Sugar replied skeptically, dodging the wolfish young woman's pounce. "'Cause since he played Ella like _Tyler_ played _you_ , I thought you wouldn't like him at _all_!"

Staci skidded to a halt. "Wait, Alejandro was lying to Ella?" she asked in shock and confusion.

Sugar gasped in an exaggerated fashion. "What, you've been stowin' away all this time and you never _knew_?" She tutted and shook her head, saying "Girl, I got to fill you _in_ on all the stuff you missed."

/

Hotdogs were flying as the scene moved back to Ella and Tyler, both teens cringing at the display they were watching just off-screen. A condor screech was followed by the stand's attendant frantically rushing to their side, though once he realized they were there he became rather annoyed.

"Hey, is that _your_ bird that's eating all my hotdogs and destroying my stand?" he asked angrily.

"Umm, _sort of_ ," Ella answered. "But I promise it's for a good cause, or at least one that isn't _bad_."

"Yeah," Tyler added at the man's skeptical glare, "she's, like, in a race for a million dollars. When she wins she can _totally_ pay you back."

"Well," Ella said sheepishly, "it's not like me winning is a _guarantee_ or anything. Especially since Sugar and Alejandro are still kind of far _ahead_."

"Wait," the dark-skinned man said, "d'you mean the same Sugar and Alejandro from Total Drama?"

" _Totally_!" Tyler answered with a grin. "Ella's in the Final Three with them, and we gotta get to Mexico _first_ in order to beat 'em."

"Well in that case, eat up!" the man said. "I can't _stand_ Alejandro!"

"Yes!" Ella and Tyler said excitedly, exchanging a high five.

A sharp burp came from off-screen, earning the hotdog stand operator's nervous attention and causing Ella and Tyler to look at each other and nod.

/

"Yes," Alejandro whispered into his steed's ear, "you run _beautifully_!" The horses were now running alongside the train, and the charming arch-villain was smirking confidently.

That is, until the perspective changed to a head-on view and a rather wolfish figure burst out of a train window. She somehow was able to land gracelessly on the back of a rather startled horse, and Alejandro looked at her with utter shock. " _Staci_?! What are you _doing_?"

"She's gettin' her _revenge_!" another voice declared, and Alejandro looked to his other side to see Sugar standing dramatically on the roof of the train. The pageant queen jumped as well, and like Staci managed to somehow land on a horse's back, though with somehow even less grace.

"Uggh, I don't have _time_ for this," Alejandro muttered, turning his gaze forward as the two girls got into proper riding position. " _Hurry_ , caballo!" he told his mount, the camera changing back to side-view as his horse sped up.

"Yah, you _better_ run, you...you _enemy_ of _women_!" Staci yelled, her horse speeding up as well.

""Yeah!" Sugar chimed in with an impish grin, trailing behind them but still ahead of the rest of the herd. "Let's show him some _girl power_!"

/

"Wooww," Chris said as the shot cut to the screen of his GPS device, now showing the blue and red dots heading forward at an even pace. "They _just_ don't seem to really _want_ it that bad, hmm? But barring any life-ending _accidents_ ," he told the camera as it moved to show his face, "I guess they're our Final Tw-wait a sec!" he interrupted himself, his eyes going wide at something on his screen. He looked around outside, and the shot zoomed out just as a familiar pair of excited cries echoed through the air.

"Woo hoo!" Ella shouted as she and Tyler flew by clinging to their condor friend's back, the bird looking rather energetic and confident as it swooped under the helicopter.

"Ella's still in it!" Chris announced dramatically as a triumphant tune played. "Like a phoenix burnt to a crisp, before rising up _anew_!" The shot cut back to the two riding condor-back, and he corrected himself with "No wait, that's Tyler! Anyway, it's a _dead heat_ , people!" he told the camera.

"I _knew_ you could do it!" Ella told the condor excitedly. "I knew _we_ could do it!"

"Haha, and _look_!" Tyler pointed out giddily. "There's Tijuana Beach!"

"Yes!" the singing princess said excitedly. "Okay Mr. Condor, take us down!" she declared, pointing down towards the unseen beach below. The condor gave a triumphant screech, and angled downward as a grandiose theme began to play.

/

"I'm gonna roast you like a _turkey_!" Sugar shouted as the scene cut to her, Alejandro, and Staci racing along the beach on horseback.

"I'm gonna squash _you_ like an _insect_!" Alejandro retorted.

The camera changed to a head-on perspective as Sugar tried to backhand her opponent only to get her hand ducked, and an off-camera shout of "Look out!" from Chris caused both villains to look forward in shock.

"WAAAAAH!" Chris screamed, the camera inverting to show the three rapidly approaching a finish line in the sand, the host below it waving his arms. The two lead horses skidded to a halt with a panicked whinny, but the momentum caused Alejandro and Sugar to be launched forward over the banner. Chris looked back as they landed with a thud, and Staci rode up to him.

"Hey, _you're_ not supposed to be here!" Chris yelled at the wolfish girl.

"Yah, like I _care_ ," Staci said, jumping down from her horse. "You're just lucky I have something to _do_ right now, okay." With that she ran off in the direction Alejandro and Sugar had flown, and with a scowl Chris followed her.

The camera cut to the two lying on the beach next to a dock, Sugar on top of Alejandro so that the two were face-to-face. "Get _off_ of me!" Alejandro shouted, shoving the pageant queen off as Staci and Chris arrived on the dock.

"Uhh, I still have a _race_ to the _million_ going on," Chris told them as a low but tense challenge theme began to build up in the background, "ya interested? Hawaii's over there," he pointed as a few heavier notes began the music's increase in intensity. "Grab a boat, head to the big island, and-"

As he spoke, a faint whistling noise heralded the arrival of the diving condor and its passengers in the distance behind Chris. The music really picked up its pace as the bird spread its wings and leveled off for its approach, the host quickly running out of the way. The condor flew past the beach and the dock and the other stunned cast members, Ella and Tyler whooping excitedly all along the way. As the giant bird reached the boats at the end of the dock the two teens let go of its neck, dropping off as it curved back upward.

The camera cut in close as they landed, Ella gracefully on her feet and Tyler gracelessly on his face.

"We made it!" Ella said excitedly, the intense music dropping off abruptly as she helped Tyler to his feet. "Thanks Mr. Condor!" she said, turning and waving at the unseen bird.

"Alright, Hawaii here we come!" Tyler said, pumping his fist excitedly as he took a seat in back of the ship, pulling the GPS from his tracksuit as Ella took to the wheel and sped the boat off.

"And Ella plus one take the lead!" Chris announced excitedly as the tense music began to build again.

"Mala suerte, ah!" Alejandro swore as he ran down the docks alongside Sugar and Staci, heading for the last two speedboats.

"I really love this show," Chris said with a small smile as he watched the race unfold.

/

The footage skipped ahead to the three boats nearly even as they raced across the Pacific Ocean, constantly vying for the lead. Sugar and Staci's boat rammed into Ella and Tyler's from the side as it passed by, the wolfish girl shouting "Take that, heartbreaker!" at Tyler and "I don't like you but I really feel for what you went through, yah!" at Ella.

Ella and Tyler shared a bewildered shrug.

The shot cut to the pageant queen, her confident smile fading when her boat was rammed into. "What the?" she said, looking to her left, the camera zooming out to show Alejandro alongside her. "Get him, Staci!" she told her passenger.

"You'll pay for your lying ways!" she said, taking a swipe Alejandro's boat with her clawed hand, but missing entirely.

"Not likely!" Alejandro laughed as he swerved his boat away from the girls, then quickly darted in to ram them further away. He continued on for another few seconds before looking down and gaping, the perspective changing to show a small leak in his boat. "Not _now_!" he groaned in frustration, the shot zooming out again as Ella and Tyler's boat came up alongside his.

"See you at the finish line, _Al_!" Tyler said with a taunting wave as their boat took the lead, but Alejandro just grit his teeth.

"No, I'll see _you_ at the finish line!" he countered, quickly turning around to pick up a large swordfish that had somehow been in his boat, then throwing it like a spear at his foes. Ella gasped in panic and dodged away from the pointed fish, but all that meant was that it got lodged into the steering wheel instead.

The shot zoomed out again as Sugar and Staci passed the other two by. "Yeah!" Sugar cheered. "I _am_ the boating queen!"

"Like, look out!" Staci said, darting forward to point over Sugar's shoulder. The shot cut to a large naval mine floating on top of the water; a hapless seagull landed on it, causing it to explode just before Sugar's boat passed through the area, both girls screaming in fear.

Cutting back to the other two boats showed Alejandro pulling ahead again as Ella struggled to remove the swordfish and regain control of her vessel. "Haha! It appears you've finally _lost_ , Ella!"

"Not so fast!" Tyler countered, quickly lunging forward and grabbing the side of Alejandro's boat in his right hand.

"Wh-what are you _doing_?" Alejandro said frantically, the shot pulling back to show the jock suspended between the two boats, holding the side of each and keeping them from getting too far apart despite Alejandro's attempts to steer his boat away. "Let go!" he said, abandoning steering in order to try – and fail – to pry Tyler's fingers loose.

"Oh, you want me to let _go_ , do ya?" Tyler said with a wild but extremely pained smirk.

" _Yes_!" Alejandro replied frantically, still failing to budge the jock's absurdly strong digits.

"Okay!" Tyler said with a strained sort of smugness, releasing his hold on the arch-villain's boat and swinging back to Ella's.

Alejandro breathed a sigh of relief, then looked forward and screamed.

He ran straight into another naval mine, launching his boat into the air just as Ella finally removed the swordfish and the background music became triumphant.

Sugar and Staci were shown looking back with delight as they approached their destination, but a sudden spluttering from the engine caused them to look at one another with concern. "We're out of gas!" Staci exclaimed.

" _Paddle_!" Sugar demanded, and the two promptly took oars from the boat and began to row.

/

The scene moved to the beach, where the other former contestants had assembled to await the arrival of the Final Three plus two. A deep and dramatic riff played as the camera panned across them, ending on an annoyed Sam and Dakota next to Chris. The camera pulled back and panned further over to the right, and just as it hit the beach a boat arrived to a victorious tune.

"Woohoo!" Sugar cheered, eagerly rushing off to dry land with Staci hot on her heels. "I did it! I actually _won_!"

"Sugar makes it into the Final _Two_!" Chris announced with a dramatic point. "One question remains," he told the camera as the background music turned tense again, " _who_ will Sugar battle?" The pageant queen rushed in front of the camera, grinning smugly. "Ella, or Alejandro?"

As he spoke another boat was shown approaching, the camera zooming out to reveal it as Ella and Tyler. "We did it, Tyler!" the singer cheered, rushing back to hug her companion. "We made it!" A further outward zoom showed that their boat was just a few yards away from shore, drifting idly towards it...

And then came Alejandro's scream of terror, and moments after his boat. It landed bow-first on top of Ella's, splintering it and launching all three teens towards the beach. They landed off-screen with a thud, and the camera cut over...

"Oh, _wow_ ," Chris said in shock, looking over the strewn forms of Ella, Alejandro, and Tyler alongside Sugar and Staci, "that's what you call a _tie_ people! I'd go to the slow-mo to declare a winner," he said, tapping his chin in thought as the camera moved in for a close-up, "buuuttt...we'rrreee...kinda outta time," he said, deliberately extending a few syllables and shaking his hand dismissively.

"WHAT?!" Sugar, Alejandro, and Ella declared in shock, the latter two still on their backs.

"Yup!" Chris told them. "We are totally, completely," the camera zoomed out to show the entire cast, most of them staring at the host in disbelief, " _undeniably_...out..of.. _time_...aaasss..ooofff... riiigghhtt...abooouuutt... _NOW_!"

The Final Three groaned, and the series' capstone theme began to play.

"So come back _next time_ to find out who battles who," Chris said, drawing the camera's attention back off the five on the beach. "And see someone _finally_ win the million! Or die trying," he shrugged impishly. "Right here," he double-pointed at the camera, "on Total! Drama! _World Tour_!"

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And there we have it, folks. Sugar's in the Final Two, and next week Alejandro and Ella will battle it out to decide who gets to face her for the million. Who will win? Who will not? You'll have to wait and see.

As for this chapter, I rather like how it turned out. Alejandro pretty much followed his canon path, from the truck to the train to the horses, but I think it still worked. Needless to say, his relationship with Sugar is much different that his one with Heather in canon. Sugar ended up getting the Heather path, because quite honestly I feel like 'walking blindly through the desert and tripping over rails' is such a Sugar thing to do. She also ended up getting an odd ally in Staci, who I decided to give a much bigger role to than what Ezekiel had in canon - in part because I didn't want her to just show up in Hawaii out of the blue like Ezekiel, and also because Staci still has her wits about her and should be treated as a proper human character. And Ella and Tyler, meanwhile, couldn't believably build a hot air balloon like nerdy Cody, and as such got to ride the giant condor that I set up back in episode 23. I hope you all find it as awesome as I do.

The song, of course, is a shuffled version of 'I'm Gonna Make It'. I tried to bring out Sugar's boasting in her lines to give it a sort of Villain Song flavor, though I don't think it turned out that strong. Which might not be bad,since there's actually a lot going on with the song I think.

I can't think of anything else to say right now, so just let me know what you thought of the second-to-last episode of the season! I look forward to it, and to the finale next week.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (18th Place)

Lightning - (17th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (16th Place)

Geoff - (15th Place)

Scott - (14th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (13th Place)

Sierra - (12th Place)

DJ - (11th Place)

Shawn - (10th Place)

Staci - (9th Place)

Sammy - (8th Place)

Blaineley - (Tied for 7th Place)

Dawn - (Tied for 7th Place)

Ezekiel - (5th Place)

Tyler - (4th Place | Disqualified?)


	26. Chapter 26 - Hawaiian Punch

**Author's Note**

Here we are, dear readers, the end of the season. The journey around the world is about to come to its exciting conclusion, and with it the first trilogy of the Total Shuffled series will be complete.

But for now, the final batch of publicly answered reviews this season - everything else after this will, as per usual, be answered via PM if at all.

 **Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart:** Well, I suppose you'll just have to read on and find out what happens. Thank you for your review, as always!

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you once again! And yeah, Alejandro was pretty lucky with what happened to Staci. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the finale!

 **DSX62415:** Thanks. And as for Ella's treatment in comparison to Cody's in canon...well, you'll just have to read on and find out.

 **bruno14:** I'm glad you enjoyed it! Especially Ella riding on the back of a condor, it was a really fun sequence to write. I hope you enjoy the finale!

 **Animation Adventures:** Wow, high praise! I'm glad you enjoyed the Sugar-Alejandro rivalry so much. And Ella and Tyler too, of course; I'm glad so many people enjoyed them riding condor-back. Too bad real condors are neither as strong nor as people-friendly. I'm happy that you liked the song as well, of course, but even more so that you enjoyed Staci's much-expanded role both in the episode. The fact that I've been able to give everyone in the first generation cast a proper moment to make their mark, as you said, is something I'm really proud of - especially with underused characters like Staci and Beardo. I don't think I'll really be able to keep it up with the other two casts, if only because some of them will only have an episode or two to appear in, but I'm going to do my best to give underutilized characters some development.  
As for the All-Stars cast...well, I won't say I've finalized them yet, and there's many difficult decisions to make regarding them, but I hope that regardless of who I end up choosing you enjoy the season when it finally comes.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Thanks! And yeah, I agree that Alejandro needs other non-Heather villains to compete against to really bring some interesting stuff out of him. Fortunately, these past three seasons have had plenty of that, I think. And yeah, although I could have had the Final Two decided last week, that would force me to not only skip the epic tiebreaker challenge, but also to figure out something to fill that space with. And between having to write a song and two endings, it just wouldn't be worth it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the season finale!

 **Guest:** What's that? You want me to make the entire cast of Total Shuffled Pahkitew Island explicitly gay? Especially the guys? I don't know, that sounds tricky, but I'll see what I can do.

 **FOWLKON:** I know, it's hard to believe it's already been over a year since the premiere of Total Shuffled Action. We've all come so far on this. I hate to disappoint you, though, as I only have two endings to present to you - having a point-of-divergence at the tiebreaker would require me to effectively write four endings, not three, as Sugar vs Alejandro and Sugar vs Ella are rather different match-ups. In all, it would basically amount to be having to write almost an additional chapter, which I honestly just didn't want to do. TSWT is at it's end, and plenty of people including myself are itching to get on to the next season. Anyway, I do hop you enjoy the finale!

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed both the song and the condor-riding from Ella and Tyler. Based on a few reviews it definitely seems like one of the highlights of the episode. Anyway, I hope you enjoy how it all ends!

 **StarHeart Specials:** Ehh, not quite - I was trying to have it be 'Planes, Trains, and...' to keep the condor bit a secret for those not looking directly at the chapter, but the site ate the ellipsis. That aside, I'm glad you enjoyed so much this season! All the things you mentioned are things I'm really happy I was able to pull off. I know the season has it's flaws, but overall I'm really happy and really proud about how it's all turned out. And as for the Total Shuffled Revenge of the Island cast - which, I remind you, was generated randomly rather than being hand-picked - is...amazing, in several ways. I had a blast introducing them in the first chapter, and I know everyone is gonna love who got shuffled onto the season.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Ohoho, well, it's an interesting finale prediction at any rate though I won't comment on it any further. I'm glad you enjoyed the convenient hot dog stand, though; I wasn't sure exactly how to go about it - did I have them crash in a different place than in canon? Did I use the background farm? But eventually, I was just like '**** it, pan to the right, there's a hot dog stand down the road.' I think a lot of the humor of this series comes from its parallels and allusions to canon, so I'm glad I was able to make one of those even more absurd. I'm also glad you liked how Staci played her part, and I will admit than in retrospect I should have said 'tranqed' rather than 'drugged' to make it clearer that they were treating her like another animal and not, you know, just tying up a defenseless teenage girl.  
That all said, I hope you enjoy the grand finale of the season!

 **VIPGuest:** Well, I figured Ella vs Alejandro would be a better tiebreaker match than finale challenge. And as for the robot suit...you'll find out soon enough what, if anything, happens in that regard.

 **OMAC001:** Sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to read on to find out who wins the tiebreaker. That said, I do hope you enjoy the finale.

 **mitchn:** Thank you, it's been my pleasure to have written such a well-loved series with so many active reviewers. I hope you enjoy the season finale. And as for what I'll write after I've finished the Shuffled series...well, my plan right now is to write something I can actually publish and make money off of. I'm, uh, not doing well on the job front at the moment.

 **link9753:** Wow. A part of me is honestly a little surprised to see that you've caught up in time for the finale, but I'm happy you were able to. Reading your reactions to each chapter of each season in turn has been a bit of a ride, but since there's far too much to respond to here I'll just say that I'm really happy that you've enjoyed the series so much. Also, that, uh, I kinda didn't even realize the thing with the finalist's gender balance. It's just not something I pay much attention to usually. That aside, I hope you enjoy the finale and I look forward to hearing more from you in the future!

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, I'm glad you thought it was fine at least, and that you enjoyed Staci's expanded role - Ezekiel was almost criminally underused in canon, and I'm glad I was able to rectify that mistake. As for you cast review, well, it's a mixture of good and bad as expected. I'm happy you enjoyed what you were able to, even if ultimately things didn't pan out how you would have liked. Maybe you'll find some moments you like in the finale today, maybe you won't, but I'm fairly certain you'll enjoy the cast that will debut next week.

 **Joel Connell:** I know, right? A year and a half, and we're (only? already?) done with the first three seasons of the Shuffled series. The last three are much shorter, of course, so we're already past the overall halfway point in terms of writing, but still. Next week the second generation cast will debut, and I'm super excited to see everyone's reaction to it. And, of course, to what the season six cast will be... But first, the season finale. I hope you enjoy!

 **tdikrazee:** You haven't gotten caught up yet if your reviews are anything to go by, but I'm always glad to hear from a reader who loves my work so much. I'm glad you enjoyed the first four chapters of this season, and I hope that not only do you enjoy the rest, but that you enjoy the next few seasons as well.

 **Star Saber21:** No worries about not reviewing sooner! I wouldn't say that Shawn was ever really that afraid of bears to begin with, just that he really didn't want to deal with them all the time. And as for last week's episode, I'm glad you enjoyed Ella and Tyler's grand condor-back entrance to the boats, as well as Tyler's strong fingers coming into play. I hope you enjoy how everything ends!

 **wifishark:** I know. I'm proud to have gotten so far with the story, and given all of you such a fantastic ride. I hope you enjoy how everything ends!

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Thank you for the review, as always! I'm glad you enjoyed last week's song, it's one of my favorites from canon as well and I'm glad my take on it was pretty well-received. Doubly so for the condor twist, I'm almost amazed how many people mentioned liking it in their reviews and since I loved the idea of it so much I'm just really happy. As for the finalists, the helpers, the fate of the money, and the ultimate winner, you'll just have to read on and find out, but I hope you enjoy it regardless.

And at long last, the reviews for this week have been answered. The TVTropes page for this series, as usual, could always use more work, and I greatly appreciate the effort everyone has put into it so far and I look forward to what gets added next.

Today is the finale folks! First up, we have:

Alejandro vs Ella in the tiebreaker of the century!

And whoever wins that will have to face down Sugar for the million dollars.

I hope you're all excited, folks! I know I am. So get ready for the final chapter of Total! Shuffled! World Tour!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 26 – Hawaiian Punch**

"Previously, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris said, the first clip of the recap showing a pan from the wrecked plane to Alejandro, Sugar, and the host himself. "The Final Three took off like bats out of Drumheller," Chris continued as the Arch-Villain was shown ducking behind a rock with a smirk, the Fairytale Princess and the Jock took off into the air with the help of a giant condor, and the Pageant Queen cautiously looking around the train's passenger car.

"Unfortunately, not only did Ella bring Tyler the _plane_ - _wrecker_ along for the ride," Chris added was shown as the two teens and condor were shown flying into the hailstorm, "but thanks to Alejandro and _Sugar_ , Staci the were-pest was brought along too." Alejandro was shown releasing Staci from her bonds, then the footage skipped forward to show the wolfish girl and Sugar jumping onto horses in pursuit of Alejandro.

"Though at least they did make thing a _little_ bit more _interesting_ ," the host conceded as Tyler was shown holding Ella and Alejandro's boats together with his fingers. "Good times!" the host added as Alejandro's boat hit a naval mine and was blown into the air.

"In the end, Sugar the Craptry _Queen_ reached Hawaii _first_ ," he said as Sugar's triumphant arrival on the beach was shown, Staci still with her. "And Captain Ponytail and Princess Crybaby tied for second place," he added as Alejandro's boat was shown crashing into Ella's, sending both finalists and Tyler flying onto the beach at the same time. "Ouch!" Chris laughed as the Final Three reacted with shock at the tie.

"Who will Sugar face in the final challenge?" Chris asked, the recap ending with a flash to the beach, where the Final Three were lined up behind him. "And who will go home with a _million dollars_?!" he exclaimed in a dramatic emcee's voice. "Iiiiiit's _finale time_! Right here, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

 _You guys are on my mind!_

 _Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

 _And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

 _I wanna be...famous!_

 _I wanna live close to the sun!_

 _Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

 _Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

 _I'll get there one day._

 _'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

 _(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

"Welcome to the live finale of Total Drama World Tour," Chris said, a triumphant tune already playing as the camera zoomed in on him, the finalists, and the two Aftermath hosts standing on the beach. "Moments ago, these two former lovebirds tied for second in a boat sandwich," he said, the shot zooming in on the finalists before he stepped over to join them. "Tasty!" he added, rubbing his stomach with delight.

"During the break, we sent them to vent in the confessional. Check it!" Chris told the camera.

xxx

Alejandro was first, and the new Hawaiian confessional seemed to be a roofless wooden outhouse set up somewhere in the jungle, based on the vines that were drooping into it.

"Losing to that oaf Sugar is bad _enough_ ," Alejandro griped, "but how will I explain to those at home that I _tied_ with that childishly naïve Ella?" He groaned and covered his eyes, adding "My brother José will be compiling his insults already..."

xxx

Ella began her confessional by letting out a deep breath, her hands folded on her lap as she looked to the side. "Well, I've almost made it to the Final Two...unfortunately, I still have to get past Alejandro if I even want a _shot_ at winning the million. He'll be tough to beat...but I think it's time to show him who's heart he tried to _toy_ with."

xxx

"Oh yeah," Sugar said slyly, putting her arm around the charmer. "I forgot you had that _brother_ of yours..."

"Yes, well today is the day I _finally_ show him up," Alejandro said stiffly, shrugging off the pageant queen's arm.

"Yeah! You tell her, Alejandro!" Topher cheered, drawing attention to the stands just off to the side where most of the rest of the cast were seated, including Tyler and Staci. "Your team's rooting for you, buddy!" the host wannabe said, waving a small flag with the charmer's face on it.

"Uhh, what are they in teams for?" Sugar asked Chris, stepping towards him but shooting a skeptical look towards the gallery. "And why does _mine_ look so _pathetic_?"

"The Peanut Gallery's playing a _major_ role in choosing a winner," Chris explained, earning a cheer from those in the stand.

"Huh," Jo said with a sly smirk, "so are we _voting_ for the winner or something? Interesting."

"A vote, huh?" Sugar said blankly. "Well, y'all know that when I said my team was pathetic I meant just in _number_ , right?"

"That just means yer gonna _lose_ , eh!" Ezekiel shouted.

"Yeah," Beardo chimed in, "time you and _Al_ got what's comin' to ya!" Those supporting Ella began to murmur in agreement.

"We believe in you Ella!" Tyler said. "So kick their _butts_!" He raised his arms in excitement, but immediately winced in pain and lowered them again.

xxx

"Well," Sugar thought aloud in the confessional, "in this case it might be better for me if _Al_ wins the tiebreaker. At least _then_ I'll be able to fake-apologize to _Ella_ and get her team's votes."

xxx

"But first," Chris said as the music turned tense, "we gotta break a _tie_. Sugar," he turned to the pageant queen, "you won the race to Hawaii, _so_ , your reward is this advantage: you can select the tiebreaker your _self_ , or you can let Ella or Alejandro do it."

"Well, I shouldn't let either of _them_ do it," Sugar said with a chuckle and a shrug, "and since I'm the most _impartial_ I guess it's up to me!"

"I was _hoping_ you'd say that," Chris said with an ominous laugh that caused Sugar to raise an eyebrow.

/

"Ta-da!" Chris said as the footage skipped forward to a close-up of a clear glass booth with some sort of yellowish bulb filled with small balls on top. "Each ball inside our challenge booth has a different tiebreaker written on it," he said, gesturing to the bulb as the shot pulled back to show the Final Three on the left and the Aftermath hosts behind the booth on the right. "So, take your pick!"

"Huh," Sugar said blankly, looking up at the bulb before shrugging, "I always _wanted_ to try somethin' like this out." She followed the host's gesture into the booth, adding "I bet I'll grab somethin' _real_ good."

The door was closed and the machine whirred to a start, challenge music playing as Sugar was pelted with the white golf balls of the challenge booth. "Oww! What the heck is wrong with this thing, this ain't a golf course! Oww!" Sugar said, wincing with every hit and causing the Peanut Gallery to laugh.

"Whoa, hey, I know for a _fact_ that me and Dakota only put _ping pong_ balls in there," Sam said nervously, the heiress nodding in agreement.

"I know," Chris told them, "and I'm not mad. Just _disappointed_. I had to dial it up to meet my usual high standards!"

"Oww! Oww, quit it!" Sugar said, still wincing with every hit. "Alright, enough of thi-" she said, tilting her head up as she tried to reach for the bottom of the bulb – the source of the balls. She was cut off abruptly, and suddenly put a hand to her throat. Her eyes starting to bulge, she barged her way out of the booth and began to gag.

"No ball no exit," Chris told her. "Back you go!"

Sugar stayed put, grabbing her throat as she coughed and choked. Eventually she spat up a ball; it ricocheted off Chris' chest and landed in a small pool of spit in the sand.

"Eeugh, watch where you're aiming," Chris cringed, taking out a handkerchief to wipe his clothes. "Dakota, you read it, wouldja?"

" _Ewww_ ," the heiress winced, crouching down to pick up the spit-covered golf ball in two fingers. "Umm...Sugar has selected the Traditional Hawaiian Fire Dance of... _Death_?" she announced, ominous music playing as Alejandro shot a confident look at a nervous Ella.

/

The same Hawaiian tune that had been used in the past couple of episodes was playing as the footage skipped ahead to Ella and Alejandro standing on opposite ends of a wooden platform in the ocean, each dressed in coconut bras and grass skirts and holding padded jousting sticks. Between them was Sugar, tied up tightly to a pole in the center of the platform.

"I question how _traditional_ it is for a male warrior to wear a coconut _bra_ ," Alejandro commented, motioning to the odd piece of equipment.

"Who cares about _tradition_?" Sugar griped as the Hawaiian music cut out. "I'm stuck to a dang _pole_!"

Those in the gallery laughed. "Hah! Serves you _right_!" Scott taunted.

"Yeah, bein' in the Final Two _does_ serve me right!" Sugar countered. "Y'all should be showin' me some _respect_ , okay?"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that," Chris told her, the shot cutting to him and Chef on the beach – the hulking man in a floral-print skirt with a bow in his hand and a quiver of arrows on his back. "The first person to free Sugar wins the _last_ spot in the Final Two," Chris announced, "and a _shot_ at the _million_!"

"Ah, for the record," Alejandro spoke up, "if no one frees her, would that make Ella and I the Final Two?"

"Hey! Don't you even _think_ of doin' that!" Sugar said in outrage.

"Won't work, I already checked," Chris answered.

"Good to hear," Alejandro smirked.

"Chef, would you do the honors?" Chris asked his assistant, the man drawing back two flaming arrows and releasing them with a twang. They struck a darkened patch on either side of the platform, just behind each competitor, which promptly burst into blazing fires that startled Ella and Alejandro.

"Oh, and stay outta the water," Chris added. "Starting...," Chef shot off another pair of arrows, these ones tipped with steaks, " _now_!" The arrows landed in the water where a pair of shark fins were already circling; one rose up and swallowed an arrow just as it plunked into the water.

"Ahh, another reminder why I'm glad I already _won_ on this stupid show," Jo sighed with a broad smile as challenge music began to play.

The gallery began to cheer and holler as the camera zoomed in on the platform, Alejandro quickly taking the offense by swiping at Ella with his jousting stick. "Prepare to be _defeated_ , chica!" he said, slamming his stick down hard against hers as she tried to block. She grunted and strained with the effort, and though she was able to push Alejandro's stick away she had already been forced onto one knee.

"What, are you still thinking that you can beat me?" Alejandro taunted. "Surely you _realize_ that no matter how many times you tell yourself you can do it, I'm simply too much to handle. I mean, it's as clear as the water below us!"

He tried to sweep Ella off the platform, but she quickly rolled forward and got back to her feet. "Really? You know what _I_ think is clear?" she asked him, ducking another swipe as she circled around him.

"Uhh, that you two gotta untie me?" Sugar replied as she watched them dance around each other.

"A lot of things," Ella continued, blocking another swipe from Alejandro but taking a step back to do it. "How I was a fool to ever think you were anything but a _villain_ ," she said as she sidestepped another swipe. "How I've made _far_ too many terrible decisions this season," she continued, rolling around the charmer again so that she was almost back at her original position. "And yes, how you _completely_ outclass me physically." Once again, she was forced down on one knee when she tried to block another of Alejandro's powerful strikes.

"But also," Ella continued, "that you aren't _nearly_ as unbeatable as you're trying to make yourself out as." Once again, she rolled back out of the way of another sweep that would have knocked her off the platform, causing Alejandro to grunt in irritation. "Don't act like you didn't fall for Sugar's _lies_ just like the rest of us," Ella said, getting back to her feet and scrambling towards the bound pageant queen. "Not to _mention_ making the same mistake that I did of trusting her once her cover was blown."

"Uhh...," Sugar said, eying her rival who has still standing next to her, a hand behind the ropes. Sugar's eyes went wide as Ella quickly ducked, another swipe from an increasingly frustrated Alejandro just barely missing both girls. "Hey, watch it!" Sugar yelled.

"And _remind me_ ," Ella said as she blocked and dodged a flurry of weaker attacks from the fuming but silent arch-villain, "how many times did you lose because of your _own_ overconfidence?"

"Oh, I won't deny that I've made my share of _mistakes_ this season," Alejandro finally said, donning a dark smile as he forced the singer to her knees once more, keeping up the pressure so she couldn't roll away. "But not this time. You bore your heart and _soul_ to me, Ella, in the name of a love I never shared. I'll admit that you've done well to last this long, but I know what you're capable of. Pretty soon," the camera zoomed in on Ella as she was forced down and back more and more towards the open fire on her side of the platform, "you'll give out. And I'll be _done_ with you, just like I planned."

"Oh...really?" Ella said, struggling to keep away from the fire she was eying warily. " _This_ is how you imagined things would end up back then? Just you pushing me into a... _fire_ to get into the Final Two?" Her eyes narrowed as her head was forced closer and closer to the open flame. "What about the long, drawn-out _break-up_ you told Dawn about? Was that a lie too? You really always wanted to do _this_?"

Alejandro's eyes went wide. "I...that..."

His moment of hesitation was all Ella needed. She slid her jousting stick forward against his, putting him just enough off balance for her to follow up by leaning forward and shoving her stick crosswise into his gut – knocking him back a couple staggered steps. Swiftly rolling to her knees as he recovered, she jabbed the padded end of her stick at his chin, knocking him a couple inches into the air.

He landed on the platform on his back, and Ella quickly ran over to Sugar. The camera angle switched to show her hands darting to the knot on the back, already partially undone, and seconds later the ropes slid off the pageant queen as the challenge music ended.

"It's about time!" Sugar griped, rubbing her left shoulder. "Those ropes were startin' to _chafe_."

Alejandro, still lying on his back, broke down into laughter. "Uhh, it wasn't _that_ funny," Sugar told him.

"As though I'd laugh at _that_ ," Alejandro said, covering his eyes. "I'm just laughing at the sheer _absurdity_ of this. Knocked out of the competition at the Final Three, _again_?! And by _another_ deceptively strong young woman, no less."

The shot cut to the Peanut Gallery, focusing on Bridgette as Geoff elbowed her in the side, waggled his eyebrows, and whispered "He's talkin' about _you_ , babe!" Bridgette smiled and shook her head in disbelief.

"Had you shown this side of you earlier in the competition," Alejandro said as Ella gave him a hand up, "perhaps I could have come to feel something more _genuine_ for you..."

"I doubt it," Ella told him, "but you're _really_ not my type anymore anyways."

Alejandro just laughed again, Sugar rolled her eyes, and someone in a hazmat suit appeared on the platform with a fire extinguisher. As they began putting out the flame on the fallen charmer's side, the former Final Three made their way to the edge of the platform to the general cheering of the unseen gallery.

/

The scene skipped forward to Ella (back in her usual clothing) and Sugar standing on the beach with Chris, the person in the hazmat suit clinging to the burning and sinking wreckage of the platform in the background.

"Now that we have our Final Two," Chris said with a broad smile, "it's my pleasure to announce the Peanut Gallery will _not_ be voting for the winner."

"What?" Ella asked in shock and disappointment as Sugar let out a breath of relief and wiped the sweat from her brow.

"Wait," Tyler spoke up, his brow creased in confusion, "I thought we were supposed to be playing a _major_ _role_?"

"Yup," Chris told him, "just not in a _vote-y_ kinda way. Prepare to have your _minds_ blown out by the most _lethal_ challenge in Total Drama history!" he announced dramatically.

" _Ella_ ," he said as a shot of the Fairytale Princess smiling sweetly against a golden background appeared to a deep and blaring note, "versus _Sugar_ ," a shot of the Pageant Queen grinning darkly against a bluish background took over the screen as another dramatic note played, "versus the _Volcano_!" The shot changed to a distance shot of a volcano, another blaring note playing as it belched out a plume of smoke.

"Back in the day," the host said as the scene cut to him standing between the two finalists – Sugar on his left behind a light blue rug, Ella on his right behind a golden yellow rug; "human sacrifices were tossed into Kilauea volcano to appease the Gods. Sadly, the lawyers won't let me use real people as sacrifices. So! Ella and Sugar will have to _make_ sacrifice stand-ins, using the island's most _abundant_ resources."

The camera followed his point off-screen, landing on a pile of "Pineapples, and driftwood!"

"And to make it nice and symbolic," Chris continued as the shot cut back to him and the finalists, "you guys have to make dummies of each _other_ to dump in the volcano. Now, you each get to pick _two_ helpers."

"Yeah, ain't _none_ of you better pick _me_ , got that?" Scott immediately told them.

"Let's see...," Ella said, looking over the Gallery, "I'll choose _Tyler_ , obviously..."

"Yeah!" the jock cheered, standing up and raising his arms in celebration, only to immediately wince in pain again and collapse back into his seat. "Uggh...sorry, I musta dislocated my shoulders or something holding the boats together."

"That's okay," she told him with a soft smile, "you've done your part already."

"In that case," Ezekiel spoke up, "I guess I'll take his place. But just because I know Tyler wants me too, eh," he explained, gesturing to the jock who was clasping his hands and looking at the homeschooler imploringly.

"Thank you," Ella told him. "And then...oh, how about you, DJ?" she pointed to the gentle giant, who raised his brow in surprise.

"Uhh, yeah, sure!" he said, getting up from the stands.

"Well," Sugar said, scratching her head as the focus moved to her, "I guess I'll pick Staci."

"I _did_ agree to help you on the train," the wolfish girl said with a shrug and a toothy smile.

"And then...do _you_ wanna help me out, Al?" Sugar asked her fallen rival.

"Actually," Alejandro said coolly, "I think I'll stay _neutral_ for this."

"Right, you do that," Sugar said, trying to hide her growing nervousness as she looked back at the Gallery. "In that case, uhh...," she said, the camera panning across Peanut Gallery, all its members glaring at her except for the bound Scarlett. "Hey, do I have to pick two?" Sugar asked the host.

"Yup! So you're pretty much stuck with someone who _hates_ you." Chris answered with a smile. "Fun, right?"

" _Right_...," Sugar said with a nervous chuckle. "In that case, uh, uhh, how 'bout Sam?" she quickly pointed behind the host to where the gamer and heiress were standing.

"Wait, is that even allowed?" Sam asked. "I mean, technically I'm a host!"

"Not while _I'm_ around," Chris grinned, causing Sam to hang his head and groan.

/

"Okay! We have our helpers!" Chris said as the scene flashed back to the two colored rugs; Ella by the golden yellow with Ezekiel and DJ, Sugar by the light blue with Staci and a very reluctant-looking Sam. "Now, Ella and Sugar, you have to stay on your mats and direct your helpers to bring you logs, driftwood, and pineapples that resemble parts of your opponent. And to make things a little more _rhyme-y~!_ " He added with an excited smile, making jazz hands as the all-to-familiar dings sounded and the musical note icon appeared on-screen.

~/~

[A reverent, almost chanted riff opened as Ezekiel and DJ looked up and back, and the colors of the scene shifted to something more animated – the two boys in golden yellow, against a background of reddish-pink flowers. The shot changed so that it seemed to be looking up at a golden yellow volcano as it erupted against a golden yellow version of the floral background, and a golden yellow and almost larger-than-life Ella emerged from its peak wearing a shorter version of her blouse and with a lei on her head.]

" _Okay boys, please head straight; that's it, you're doing gre~eat!_ "

[She sang encouragingly as a hip-hop tune began; she waved her arms in wide, sweeping motions, calling up a wind that the camera followed down to Ezekiel and DJ. It blew behind them, hurrying them along a deep red ground set against a deep green floral background.]

" _If you, would be, so kind; grab the widest hips you can fi~ind!_ "

[Her helpers were blown to a titanic pile of neatly-stacked golden yellow logs, and the shot cut back to Ella clasping her hands and looking down at them imploringly against the same green background. The shot panned to the right to a light blue volcano as it, too, erupted; a light blue Sugar emerged from it, dressed as usual but with a laurel wreath on her head.]

" _Hurry up, don't be slow! All of her's a stick, I know!_ "

[Sugar sang commandingly, snapping her fingers to make an almost cartoonish thunderbolt appear in her hands, casting her opponent a disparaging glance then throwing the bolt over her head down at the light blue Staci and Sam below. They were forced to flee before the bolt struck where they'd been loitering, with Staci getting the lead on all fours.]

" _Start off with scraw-ny legs; all bacon and no e~eggs!_ "

[The camera continued to follow Sam and Staci as they ran past DJ, who was securing a rope to a peg on the side of a large hunk of wood. He briefly turned his head to watch them, then turned back with a smile and tugged the rope extending up off-screen.]

" _I'm gonna win it! (Yeah!) And you can't face it! (No!) I'm right here in it! (Yeah!) But you disgrace it! (Oh!)_ "

[The two girls sang, together even with the chanted words in the background. As they dueled the shot moved from Ella, her hands alternately sending gusts of wind at her helpers, to Sugar, throwing bolt after bolt of lightning, to both as they turned to one another and sent their god-like abilities at each other, resulting in an explosion of green smoke that took over the scene.]

" _Is this butt, flat enough?_ "

[Staci called out, the smoke dissipating into her close-up before the shot zoomed out to show her standing on a pale gray scaffold next to another large chunk of wood suspended by a rope tied to a peg.

"Uh-huh!" Sugar replied from off-screen.

" _O~oh!_ " Ella sang, the camera panning up to a higher level of the scaffold where Ezekiel was standing next to a rather conical piece of wood, also suspended point-down on a rope.

"Hey, are these arms thick enough?" he asked, receiving a light blue thunderbolt for his trouble.]

"Yo! _Now it's Sugar versus Ella, see, Zeke's steppin' up cause she's the enemy;_ "

[The blue smoke cleared to show the homeschooler in shades with his golden 'Z' around his neck and a mic in his hand; the beat changed slightly as he began to rap from a small pillar of rock between the two girls. The camera rotated about him as he gestured over his shoulder first at the Pageant Queen, then at the Singing Princess, and back to the Pageant Queen as he made what was almost a hand-sign then jabbed a thumb back at Sugar.]

" _Gonna show her that we can't forgive her play; time the Princess showed the world that she can sla~ay!_ "

[The camera zoomed in as he shook his head solemnly for a couple seconds, then zoomed back out as he gestured to Ella, who crossed her arms and smirked confidently.]

" _Thank you both, now let's see; how 'bout some, tiny feet?_ "

[Ella continued in a slightly sweet, slightly thoughtful tone as Ezekiel, now riding atop another cone-like piece of wood as it was carried along by the attached rope, met up with DJ who was in a similar position. The two boys low-fived, and the shot cut back to Ella.]

" _Oh right, and a head like so; to match her ego._ "

[Ella sang, holding her hands in front of her wide enough to fit a watermelon. She then quickly clasped her hands together and shot an almost taunting smile at Sugar.]

" _Go and grab a couple twigs! Arms like hers couldn't lift a pig!_ "

[Sugar retorted, leaning menacingly downwards and reaching out to her two tiny followers. Staci quickly ran away but Sam, trembling nervously, was quickly grabbed by the god-like Sugar.]

" _And don't, forget, the chest; the size of a bird ne~est!_ "

[She held the gamer close to her peering eye and pinched her fingers to indicate something small, though with the size difference it still ended up being about half of Sam's size. She promptly dropped the gamer to the ground.]

" _I'm gonna win it! (Yeah!) And you can't face it! (No!) I'm right here in it! (Yeah!) But you disgrace it! (Oh!)_ "

[The two girls repeated, once again sending their wind and lightning towards their respective helpers before turning their god-like powers on each other.]

" _Yah, these arms are unreal! Just don't forget, our deal!_ "

[Staci sang smugly, the smoke dissipating to show her on the scaffold once more next to a long, slender, and surprisingly arm-like piece of wood. The shot zoomed out to show it already affixed to her team's effigy – currently a small but properly-curved piece for the chest, a slightly bulkier piece for the waist, and two slender legs; all pieces were connected by the shorter wooden pegs the ropes had been tied to. On the other side of the scaffold was the effigy Ella's team had created – two wide, bulky pieces for the chest and waist, the two cone-like arms and a slightly larger cone-like leg; the effigy was kept upright by a rope tied around the short peg where the neck would be.

As Staci continued her line, she sent a noticeably stern look up towards Sugar.]

" _Yeah, I know what I said; now hurry up with that head!_ "

[Sugar told her, looking almost nervous before the shot cut to Sam trying to push a massive light blue pineapple across the ground.]

" _I'm gonna win it! (Yeah!) And you can't face it! (No!) I'm right here in it! (Yeah!) But you disgrace it! (Oh!)_ "

[The girls repeated a third time, sending their wind and lightning towards their helpers at a slightly faster pace than before. And still, they ended up turning their god-like powers towards one another to cause another green explosion.]

" _I'm gonna cash it! (Yeah!) You'll never get it! (No!) You should trash it! (Yeah!)_ "

[They continued as the smoke dissipated to reveal DJ and Ezekiel carrying their own massive golden yellow pineapple, before gaping in shock as Staci managed to slot her team's head down in its proper place.]

" _'Cause I just did i~it!_ "

[Sugar sang triumphantly, the shot pulling back to show Staci cheering triumphantly from the effigy's shoulder, Sam on the other side wiping the sweat from his brow. The scene finally cut to reality as the song ended, Sugar smiling smugly with Staci and Sam beside her, only the former of her two helpers looking at all enthused.]

~/~

"And _Sugar_ takes the lead!" Chris announced, a triumphant tune playing over a shot of Ella hanging her head in disappointment. "Next step, haul your sacrifice to the top of Kilauea and toss her into the volcano, like _so_!"

The shot quick-panned away from the host all the way up to the crater where the person in the hazmat suit tossed a crash test dummy into the magma below. This, however, caused molten rock to splash back up, partially coating the person in the hazmat suit. They screamed in pain as fire engulfed them, and ran away scorched.

" _Yeah_ ," Chris said as the shot cut back to him, "watch out for the _back-splash_. We'll be right back with all the hardcore lava-riffic _sizzling_ finale action," he told the camera, "here! On Total! Drama! World Tour!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed with a shot of the Final Two holding the effigies their helpers had made as Chef wheeled the person formerly in a hazmat suit by in a wheelchair, their suit traded in for a full body cast.

"Excuse me," Ella spoke up, "but are we actually going to throw our dummies into an active volcano without safety equipment? Because that sounds more _lethal_ than usual."

"As the saying goes, 'No excruciating pain, no million dollar gain'," Chris told her, pulling out a brief case as a reminder then promptly tossing it away. "To help you get those dummies to the top of the volcano, you can use the rewards your teams earned on your behalf in the Aftermath Lava Surfing challenge," he continued.

"Alejandro won a wheelbarrow, too bad he's out," he said, the camera panning over as the wheelbarrow rolled down the base of the volcano's slope near the host. "But Ella gets a stroller," the stroller rolled down next to the wheelbarrow, "and Sugar gets _diddly-squat_."

"Aww, you gotta be kiddin' me!" the pageant queen said in disbelief, her slender and small-headed dummy held easily over her shoulder. "I _demand_ a recount."

" _But_ ," Chris said, "since you _did_ win the effigy challenge, you still get a twenty-second head start. So, get goin'!"

"Well, at least this dummy's _light_ ," Sugar said, running off with the wooden statue in her arms as a tense tune began playing. "Advantage: _Sugar_!"

Ella, meanwhile, propped her larger dummy on her back, hooking her arms around its to drag it forward along the ground.

"You _sure_ I can't have that thing?" Sugar asked Chris as she came up to the foot of the volcano, running in place as she pointed to the unclaimed wheelbarrow.

"I'm sure," Chris told her.

"Aww, _biscuits_ ," Sugar grumbled, snapping her fingers and running off.

Chris watched her go with his usual bland smile, then turned to watch Ella as she walked up. "Well, at least I have _something_ to help carry this thing," the singer said.

"Uhh, yeah, sure," Chris said, watching Ella drag her Sugar-sized effigy up to the stroller, then lay it gently on top. It seemed stable, but only for a second before the stroller collapsed under the dummy's weight. "Good luck with that!" Chris laughed, earning an annoyed sigh from Ella as she moved to pick the effigy back up.

/

The music leveled off somewhat as the scene cut to Sugar running up the mountainside path at a decent rate. "Well, it's been a long time comin'," she told herself, "but I think I finally got this here pageant in the bag. Pretty soon I'm gonna be a millionaire!"

She paused when she heard the sound of humming approaching from behind, and looked back with a scowl. The camera panned down to Ella, still carrying her effigy along on her back but humming and singing in a steady, even rhythm that matched her pace. "Ev-er..on-ward..not much..lon-ger.."

"Aww, havin' trouble are ya?" Sugar called out mockingly. "Well, maybe if you try yer hardest, you can get to the top in time to see me get handed my _prize money_. But I doubt it!" she laughed, running off again.

The path soon leveled off, and the background music took an ominous turn as she passed a few bushes, then saw what was ahead and frantically skidded to a halt. She stopped right on the edge of a bubbling lava pool, and quickly stood her effigy up beside her. "What in the name of pork gravy is _this_?" she asked, the camera getting an overhead shot of the lava right before it flared up, forcing Sugar to dive away with her rather flammable dummy.

Chris chuckled off-screen, and with a dramatic musical twist the camera zoomed out to show him and Chef standing on the other side of the lava lake. "Yoo hoo, over _he~ere_!" he called in a light and airy voice, waving to the pageant queen. A series of stepping stones spanned the gap between the two sides, but hanging over it from a large wooden frame were several heavy objects – from the left to right were a log, a grand piano, a safe, a simple weight, a purple armchair, a metal cage, and a bomb. The ropes holding the objects in the air ran along the framework and down to a structure near Chris and Chef, where each individual rope was tied around a long log.

"Check out the look on her face," the host told his assistant as the camera zoomed in on them.

"Priceless," Chef smirked as the two men high-fived.

"Ev-er..on-ward..not much..lon-ger.." Ella repeated as she finally arrived at the other end of the lava pool, stopping when she saw it. "Oh _my_..." she said in awed disbelief.

"The only way to the top of the volcano," Chris said as the camera panned across a close-up of the stepping stones, "is past this _river_ of _lava_ ," he pointed down at the bubbling rock as the camera reached him again. "So I'd say the two of you are about _even_ again," he added, Sugar scowling as she and Ella stood by with their respective dummies.

"All you have to do is hop across these stepping stones," the host continued, moving over closer to the end of the path. "Easy-peasy, hot and cheesy!" he said as the lava flared up again. " _Buu~uut_ ," he added impishly as the camera panned across the hanging objects, "we've added a _few_ booby traps to, that's right!"

"Make things more interesting," the two girls finished in annoyed resignation.

"Chef," the host turned to his assistant, "a booby _demo_ , if you please!"

"Gladly," Chef replied with a sinister smirk, taking out a machete then turning around and chopping the first rope. The freed end quickly slid back through the wooden frame, and the log dropped onto the first stepping stone, broke, and fell into the lava with a burst of flame and a splatter of molten rock. Ella and Sugar gasped in surprise.

"Yeah, you _really_ don't want to get hit by those," Chris told them. "Your helpers can either keep them secure," he continued, turning around and motioning to the two pairs that were standing by the tied-up ropes, "or send them falling. It's your call. Aaaand, _go_!"

Sugar got moving first, picking up her smaller dummy and hopping to the first stepping stone. Ella lagged behind, moving to get her heavier dummy situated on her back before pausing, rubbing her chin in thought, then standing up straight with a snap for her fingers. With a smile and a hum she grabbed her dummy by the arms, and began to dance and twirl with it.

"Hah! What do you think you're gonna do, _dance_ yer way across?" Sugar looked back and laughed, still hopping from stone to stone.

"As a matter of fact," Ella said calmly, " _yes_." She twirled harder and harder, picking up enough speed to swing her dummy onto the first stepping stone, then use the momentum to swing herself onto the second. As she kept going and swung her dummy to the third stone, Sugar's brow shot up in surprise, then back down in annoyance.

"Okay helpers, time to _help_!" she commanded, and the shot cut over to Ezekiel, DJ, Staci, and Sam on the far side of the river.

"Like, finally!" Staci said, grabbing for one of the two machetes that were stuck in the log the ropes were tied to.

"Yo, we gotta stop her!" Ezekiel told DJ, and the two boys darted forward to grab their wolfish opponent.

As the three struggled, Staci looked back at Sam. "Hey, are you gonna help me or what?"

"I don't know, I'm feeling conflicted," the gamer admitted. "On one hand I wanna do my duty as a professional, but it doesn't feel right being on _Sugar's_ team. I usually root for the underdog, and either way Sugar's just so _unlikeable_."

"Ya got that right, eh," Ezekiel said as he and DJ continued to hold back Staci. "I don't get why you're even _rooting_ for her," he told Staci, "other than not likin' Ella 'cause of Tyler."

"Oh, well," the wolfish girl blushed, "she said on the train that if I helped her win she'd be super grateful and give me some of the prize money."

"And you _believed_ her?" Sam asked. "Even though she's ended up backstabbing pretty much everyone who's tried to work with her this season?"

"What?" Staci asked, her ears perking up in confusion.

"Hey, are you two gonna help me or _what_?" Sugar shouted, drawing the attention of the four and the camera back to the stepping stones. The pageant queen was still in the lead, but just barely, as Ella was still twirling from one stone to the next with her dummy – albeit more slowly and less confidently than she had before.

"Even if we _do_ ," Sam told his partner, "she might try to get out of your agreement."

Staci bit her lip uncertainly for a moment, then narrowed her eyes and growled ferociously at DJ. The gentle giant squealed in fear, drawing back just enough for Staci to barge past him and Ezekiel and chop one of the ropes. The shot cut to the stepping stones just as the simple weight crashed down on the stone that Ella had just been about to swing her dummy onto, destroying the rock and forcing the singer to pull her effigy back next to her.

"Yah, she might double-cross me," Staci told the boys at the other end of the lava, "but I _know_ I won't get anything from helping Ella."

"Yeah!" Sugar cheered as she landed on the third to last stone. "Take _that_!" she shot back at her opponent.

"I don't suppose one of you could slow her down for me? Please?" Ella asked, now struggling to hop from one stone to the next with her effigy on her back again.

"I got this, eh!" Ezekiel said, quickly standing up, grabbing the other machete stuck in the log, and chopping another rope before Staci could stop him.

It caused the cage to crash down onto on top of Ella, trapping her and her dummy.

" _Oops_ ," Ezekiel said sheepishly. "These ropes aren't labeled, eh."

"Hah, _yeah_ ," Chris said, wiping a tear from his eye as he stood nearby with Chef. "I was hoping that would come up. Which ropes belong to which teams anyway?"

"No idea," Chef answered with an impish shrug, causing both men to laugh even harder.

Sugar was laughing as well as she hopped onto solid ground again, a darkly triumphant tune in the background. "Looks like you somehow havin' more support than me didn't matter!" Sugar taunted, running off with her dummy in her arms and Staci behind her.

"Sorry, guys, I gotta go," Sam told DJ and Ezekiel. "And don't forget about the _ineapples-pay_ ," he added in a whisper, watching Chris and Chef walk past in the background.

"Right," DJ nodded.

The gamer ran off, and Ezekiel and DJ ran over to the edge of the lava river. "C'mon, eh! You gotta keep going! We're counting on you to beat her!"

"I know," Ella said, ramming against the side of her cage to no effect, "I'm _trying_." She backed up, then grabbed her dummy and ran with it against the cage, finally tipping it onto its side. The top of it fell off as it hit solid ground, and Ezekiel and DJ quickly pulled Ella and her effigy out just before a jet of fire flared through the bars of the cage.

"Thank you," Ella told her helpers as they put her and the dummy on their feet. "I just hope I can catch up with her. Maybe I can try to _distract_ her somehow...," she said, getting the effigy onto her back. She managed to run off at a surprisingly decent pace, and the camera lingered on DJ and Ezekiel as they shared a serious nod.

/

The scene flashed to Sugar, who was breathing heavily as she ran up the volcano's path with Staci a little ways ahead of her and Sam a little ways behind.

"Am I...," Sugar panted, "am I there yet?"

"Almost," Staci said. "Just a little bit more, then you can totally throw your dummy into the volcano and win!"

"Uh, _about_ that," Sam spoke up hesitantly, causing Sugar to skid to a halt and glare at him.

"What, are you gonna try and stop me too?" she asked. "I thought I'd be _fine_ pickin' a helper that wouldn't have a grudge against me, but I guess I misjudged you."

"Whoa, hold on," Sam said, waving his hands defensively. "I just wanted to warn you about the _pineapple_."

"The what now?" Sugar asked, raising an eyebrow and sharing a skeptical look with Staci.

/

"What about the pineapple?" Ella echoed, the scene cutting to her trudging along at a steady pace with DJ and Ezekiel by her side.

"This is gonna sound weird," DJ told her, "but you _can't_ throw that pineapple into the volcano."

"Yeah," Ezekiel chimed in, "unless you want it to erupt, eh."

" _Erupt_?!" Ella repeated in alarm.

"Yup," DJ told her. "Don't know _how_ it works, and I don't think I want to, but what I _do_ know is that Dawn saw some kinda bad _omen_ , and after a bit of research _Shawn_ figured out the connection."

"So...I'll take the head off before I throw the rest of the dummy in, but will that still count for the challenge?" Ella asked.

The boys shrugged. "I think it probably will if Sugar takes her off too, eh," Ezekiel said.

/

"Hold on a minute," Sugar said skeptically as the scene cut back to her, Staci, and Sam standing on the sloping path up the volcano, "you want me to waste my time takin' the dummy head off, probably makin' the whole thing not _count_ , in order to keep the volcano from blowin' up and buryin' all us in lava?"

"Uhh, yeah, pretty much," Sam said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

Sugar stared at him for a second, then burst out laughing to Staci's surprise. "Sorry, but _I_ wasn't born yesterday. I can tell a bag of manure when I see one, and I see one."

"I'm telling the truth!" Sam pleaded as Staci turned her head to him. "If you throw the pineapple into the volcano-"

"Then I will _win_ this competition, once and for all!" Sugar countered sternly, Staci looking back to her. "I have done _so much_ work gettin' this far, and overcome _so many_ odds, and I am _not_ gonna be stopped by some made-up volcano story from a bunch of people who can't be bothered to lose with grace and dignity."

"But-" Sam tried to say.

"No buts!" Sugar scolded. "I can't say I get why y'all can't just accept that I deserve to win this, but if you aren't gonna help me then _fine_. I didn't need any helpers to begin with, and you weren't doin' nothin' anyway."

"Wait, you just meant _him_ right?" Staci asked with a troubled expression.

It was then that Ella, DJ, and Ezekiel passed by, the singer breathing heavily with the dummy on her back. "Yeah! You can do it!" DJ cheered.

"See you at the top, eh!" Ezekiel taunted his former friend, who scowled.

"Aww, now look what you made me do!" she snapped at Sam. "I gotta hurry up and get movin'!" she said before chasing after her rival once more, leaving Sam and Staci behind.

"Hey, you believe me about the volcano thing, right?" Sam asked the wolfish girl. Staci looked at him uncertainly for a moment, then turned and ran off after Sugar as a few deep, ominous notes played.

/

The ominous music continued even as the scene changed to a long-distance upward shot of the volcano, soon cutting to the top as the music shifted to something more tedious and rattling. The camera panned across the other non-competitors, gathered in a sweaty and sweltering mass on the rim of the volcano's crater.

An upward pan of Chris holding the million-dollar suitcase revealed him standing happily in a cool breeze, the shot zooming out to show it being caused by a giant electric fan blowing air over a large ice cube being held on an intern's back. Several more ice cubes were stacked around the area, and were already beginning to melt.

"So...," the host said to Chef, the hulking man standing beside him, "know of any season three wrap parties?"

"Not really," Chef answered in an odd tone, averting his gaze and walking away whistling in a very suspicious manner.

Chris frowned at him, but his expression quickly changed to excitement as he looked out over the edge of the volcano. "And here they come!" he announced, a tense tune playing as Ella and Sugar were shown racing up the path with their dummies; DJ, Ezekiel, Staci, and Sam following behind them.

The shot cut to the edge of the crater as the two dummies were thrown up first, followed by the two girls climbing up side-by-side. Each was breathing hard, and just catching their dummies was enough to cause both to fall over onto their stomachs with the effigies in front of them.

"Gotta...get this...off...," Ella said, quickly scrambling forward along the ground to grab her dummy's pineapple head.

"Hah!" Sugar laughed tiredly. "Yer loss!" She dragged herself forward to her own dummy, and got to her feet.

"Wait," Ella said, grabbing onto Sugar's ankle with her free hand before the pageant queen could take a step. "Do you really think it's worth it?" she asked. "Hurting so many people just so you can win?"

Sugar smiled down at her in disbelief. "Listen here, Ella," she told her, "I guess you don't know this, but in pageants you gotta be _ruthless_ if you wanna win. Do whatever you can to make yourself look good and the other girls look bad, otherwise you'll be lucky to get on-stage with your dress in one piece and your talent un-sabotaged. Anything goes if it gets you to victory!"

"But this isn't a _pageant_ , though," Ella said, grunting in effort as she finally squeezed the fat pineapple head off her dummy with one arm.

"It's close enough," Sugar shrugged, the camera briefly moving closer to the ground to show the four helpers poking their heads up over the outer edge of the crater. "I guess I can't say it's the _only_ way to win Total Drama, but it's the way I'm best at and it's worked swell so far! So who _cares_ if I broke some promises and hurt some people's feelins' along the way? It ain't like I _owe_ anybody anything. I'm sure they'll be _fine_." Tense music began to build as the camera briefly moved closer to the ground as Ezekiel, DJ, and Sam looked at Staci, the wolfish girl's brow shooting up at her ally's remark. "And anyways it won't even _matter_ since I'll be _done_ with this show once I have my million!"

"In that case, I'll make sure you never _get it_!" Ella said sharply as the music spiked dramatically, suddenly getting to one knee and pulling Sugar's leg out from under her. The pageant queen slammed to the ground with a yelp, and Ella ran over her with the headless effigy in the fallen girl's image dragging behind.

With a heave of effort Ella threw the sacrifice into Kilauea, earning a victorious piece of music that was sadly short-lived.

" _Yeah_ ," Chris interrupted with an unamused look on his face, "hate to break it to you, but it only counts if the _entire_ dummy gets sacrificed. You still gotta throw the _pineapple_ in too if you wanna win, meaning Sugar's still in this."

Ella gasped and looked back as dramatic music resumed. "Alright!" Sugar cheered in triumph, getting back onto her feet, and reaching for her own sacrifice.

"Quick, we gotta get that pineapple from her!" Sam said, and he, DJ, and Ezekiel hauled themselves up to the top of the crater and charged.

"Sorry boys," Sugar taunted as she turned around, "but you can't stop me now!"

"Yes we can!" Ella countered, tackling her from the front. It was barely enough to force Sugar back a step, but the singer held on firm long enough for Ezekiel to catch up and grab onto the head of the Ella-shaped effigy. DJ grabbed onto him and Sam grabbed onto DJ, and the three boys pulled.

"You. Won't. _Stop me_!" Sugar yelled, trying to push against both Ella while pulling her dummy away from the boys – and in doing so, caused the neck peg to come out of the pineapple.

With that bit of resistance gone Sugar and the wooden body of her dummy toppled forward onto Ella, and the three boys fell backward. The impact caused the pineapple to fly out of Ezekiel's hands, and the background music briefly went silent as it landed, entirely in one piece, next to Ella's own discarded dummy-head.

Staci, still standing at the outer edge of the crater, looked between both with wide eyes.

"Aww, you gotta be _kiddin_ ' me!" Sugar said, standing back up and tossing her dummy's body backward into the volcano, where it burnt up with a hiss off-screen. "Now I gotta get _that_ , too..."

"Not if I get there first!" Ella said, getting back on her feet and running forward. The music quickly increased its pace as Sugar ran off as well, eyes wide with panic.

"Staci! Quick! Gimme the pineapple!" she called out to her helper.

"No! She'll just double-cross you like everyone else!" Ezekiel countered as the two girls passed him, DJ, and Sam.

"It's not worth it!" Sam added.

The shot cut to Staci, looking nervously between the two fruits she was standing between. A close-up caught her gulping, then bending down and picking the two fruits up – Sugar's smaller pineapple in her left hand, Ella's larger pineapple in her right.

The point-of-view shifted to Staci's to show the two finalists running towards her, Sugar on the left and Ella on the right. The camera looked down at the pineapple in each hand, then back up at Sugar and Ella.

"I...I'm sorry, everyone," she said sorrowfully as the shot changed back to a head-on perspective, "but I have to take the risk." She quickly tossed the pageant queen her pineapple, and Sugar promptly grinned, turned around, and threw it over her head towards the lava.

"No...!" Ella gasped in growing dread, watching the fruit fly towards fiery doom.

DJ, Sam, and Ezekiel gasped as well, the rest of the Peanut Gallery held their breaths, and Chris McLean smiled as each was shown watching the pineapple arc into the crater.

It plopped into the lava unceremoniously, and aside from a small splash-back that the Peanut Gallery quickly dodged nothing happened.

"Yahoo!" Sugar cheered as triumphant music began to play, pumping her fists and jumping up and down with glee. "I did it! I won!"

"That you did," Chris told her. "Congratulations, Sugar, on becoming the _winner_ of Total Drama World Tour!" He held up the million dollar briefcase, and Ella was shown hanging her head sadly.

"Oh, thank you, _thank you_!" Sugar sniffed, tears welling up in her eyes as she zipped over to the host and her prize money. "I don't know what to say!" She promptly pulled a piece of paper out of her blouse, unfolded it, and cleared her throat.

"I am so _proud_ to be crowned the winner of this reality competition," she read off in a rather stilted fashion. "And I am truly _honored_ to accept the entire million dollar prize for myself, and _only_ myself."

"Like, _what_?" Staci interrupted, walking up to the winner and the host, startling the former and mildly amusing the latter. "What about the share you promised me for helping you? Yah, I'm the only reason you were even _able_ to sacrifice the pineapple!"

"Ohh, you didn't throw any pineapples into the volcano, did you?" an unfamiliar voice asked, the camera panning right a little ways just as two elderly Hawaiian men in flowery skirts and leis walked up.

"Yeah, don't you know what happens when pineapples meet lava?" the other asked.

"How should _I_ know?" Chris answered in annoyance.

"Because we _told you_ as soon as we found out!" Shawn yelled at him, the rest of the peanut Gallery looking quite angry.

"But you just _ignored_ us and put us _all_ in danger!" Dawn added.

"Oh yeah," Chris said blankly. "I thought that was just, like, one of those things used to trick tourists."

"But there are signs _everywhere_!" a third old Hawaiian man spoke up, most of the Gallery parting to show him standing next to a wooden sign with a crossed-out pineapple on it. " _See_?" he added, taking a couple steps over to Blaineley, still bound in her hand truck, and kicking her over to reveal another sign behind her.

It was then that the volcano shook and rumbled, a long-distance shot of it showing a few reddish streaks forming along the outer edge of the crater.

"Well _crap_ ," Chris muttered. "Nice going, _Staci_ , your pineapple-throwing totally doomed us! I _never_ shoulda let a screw-up freak like you back on the show."

"Wh-what?" Staci said, her long ears and tail drooping in confusion.

"Yeah, this is all your fault!" Sugar chimed in, grabbing the million-dollar suitcase from Chris. "You can _forget_ about gettin' any of my prize money, the deal's off!"

The music blared ominously as Staci's brow creased with growing rage. "Oh yah, is that so?" she told the host and winner, walking towards them. "Well I'm not gonna take any of that lying _down_!" The music flared as she snarled and pounced, first at Chris to knock him on his back and then towards Sugar to grab the briefcase full of money.

Shots of Chris, Chef, Ella, the helpers, and the Peanut Gallery all gaping in shock were interspersed with clips of Staci and Sugar wrestling for the million-dollar case, drawing closer and closer to the edge of the crater. Eventually, the case slipped out of both their grasps, and fell towards the lava accompanied by a hollow, almost chanted, downward-sliding note.

" _NOOOOO_ ~!" Sugar cried in shock and horror.

Once it had disappeared into the bubbling molten rock, the perspective inverted to show Chris, Sugar, and Staci looking over the lip of the crater in shock.

"Whoa," Chris said as the volcano began to shake again, "didn't see _that_ one coming. Anywho," he chuckled before taking a deep breath and yelling " _RRRUUUUNNNNNN!_ "

The music abruptly became tenser than ever as the volcano was shown from a distance again, the smoke billowing from the top turning into a full-blown eruption of fire.

Back at the top, the three Hawaiian men went running back towards the path down, followed by Chef, the intern who'd been carrying the ice, Chris, Staci, Ella, and the three former helpers.

"Wait," Sugar said in panic as she watched the host flee, stepping away from the edge of the crater, "what about my prize money? I-I _won_! I gotta get whats _comin_ ' to me!"

She was promptly trampled by the rest of the cast as they fled for their lives as well, Scarlett and Blaineley taking up the rear in their unmanned hand trucks. Sugar recovered from it just in time to gasp in fear as lava began to cascade out of the crater towards her, quickly covering the screen.

It parted as the scene cut to the base of the volcano, the former contestants minus Sugar running and screaming across the beach as flaming rocks rained down from above.

"See you next season I guess," Chris said with an odd sort of calmness as the camera cut to him, a strangely solemn tune playing in the background as fire continued to fall. "Maybe with a whole new cast, 'cause let's face it – these guys are probably gonna melt," he laughed, pointing a thumb in the direction the cast had fled.

"Until next time," the host said, his voiced strained as the scene cut to him standing up in front of the sky, an ominous chanting note punctuating the music. "I'm Chris McLean, and this has been Total! Drama!" The camera zoomed out to reveal that him and Chef were now aboard the old Boat of Losers, but the host's outtro was interrupted by a sudden shriek. Both men looked up, and the music peaked dramatically as Sugar, now bald and entirely on fire, was shown rocketing towards the boat like just another flaming rock.

Chris and Chef ducked to either side as she landed, punching a hole in the ship with her crash. The Boat of Losers began to sink with a hollow sound, and most of the rest of the cast – revealed to be treading water nearby – laughed as the two adults went under.

Their mirth was short-lived, however, and quickly turned to terror and they swam away screaming as large flaming rocks started raining down upon them once again, and the footage cut to static.

/

/

/

[[YES, THAT IS WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN THE END OF THIS ORDEAL]]

[[BUT IN TRUTH, A DIF'RENT WIN SHOULD BE CONSIDERED REAL]]

/

/

/

"Staci! Quick! Gimme the pineapple!" Sugar called out to her helper.

"No! She'll just double-cross you like everyone else!" Ezekiel countered as the two finalists passed him, DJ, and Sam.

"It's not worth it!" Sam added.

The shot cut to Staci, looking nervously between the two fruits she was now standing between. A close-up caught her gulping, then bending down and picking the two fruits up – Sugar's smaller pineapple in her left hand, Ella's larger pineapple in her right.

The point-of-view shifted to Staci's to show the two girls running towards her, Sugar on the left and Ella on the right. Staci looked down at the pineapple in each hand, then back up at Sugar and Ella.

"I...I'm sorry, Sugar," she said sorrowfully, "I can't do it. I can't take the risk!" She closed her eyes and raised the two pineapples, the smaller in her left hand and the larger in her right, and rotated them so she could smash them together.

"Do it!" Ella told the wolfish girl, stopping in her tracks.

" _No_!" Sugar countered angrily as she continued running, tackling Staci to the ground before she could destroy the fruits. The pineapples dropped safely, and Sugar quickly stopped wrestling her former ally in order to turn around, pick up the nearest one, and throw it over her head towards the volcano.

"No...!" Ella gasped in growing dread, watching the large fruit fly towards fiery doom.

DJ, Sam, and Ezekiel gasped as well, the rest of the Peanut Gallery held their breaths, and Chris McLean smiled as each was shown watching the larger pineapple arc into the crater.

It plopped into the lava unceremoniously, and aside from a small splash-back that the Peanut Gallery quickly dodged nothing happened.

"Yahoo!" Sugar cheered, pumping her fists and jumping up and down with glee. "I did it! I won!"

"Nice throw!" Chris told her. "Too bad that wasn't the head of your dummy!" He pointed back at the ground, and Sugar looked down to see the smaller pineapple – from the Ella-shaped effigy Sugar's team had built – sitting there. "In other words," Chris grinned, "Ella _wins_!"

"I win?" Ella said in shock and growing excitement as victorious music welled up in the background once again. "I _win_!" the singer repeated, smiling at the realization. "I win, I win, I win!" she jumped up and down and clapped as she squealed in excitement.

"Yeah! I _knew_ you could do it!" Tyler cheered from the Gallery.

Beside him, Alejandro chuckled softly. "Congratulations on triumphing despite such _terrible_ odds," he added.

"Looks like the good guys win again, huh?" Bridgette told him with a sly smile that made him shake his head and chuckle a little more.

"Thank you, everyone," Ella said, now standing next to Chris. "I couldn't have done it without nearly _all_ of your help and support – that means you too, Staci," she added, the camera briefly cutting back to the wolfish girl perking up. "You did the right thing in trying to destroy...the... _pineapples_..." She trailed off into a troubled frown as she spoke.

"Oh, it was nothing," Staci said, rubbing her the back of her neck and grinning and blushing, her tail wagging vigorously. "Yah, anyone would have done the same thing."

"And because of that, Ella," Chris announced with a wide smile, "you are now the _winner_ of Total Drama World Tour!" He presented the suitcase to her...and the triumphant music ground to a halt.

"I DO NOT CONCEDE!" Sugar bellowed, drawing all attention to her as she stormed towards the host and winner. " _I_ was the one who sacrificed the pineapple, that means _I_ should win the million!" she told them in an almost pleading tone.

"Ohh, you didn't throw any pineapples into the volcano, did you?" an unfamiliar voice asked, the camera panning right a little ways just as two elderly Hawaiian men in flowery skirts and leis walked up.

"Yeah, don't you know what happens when pineapples meet lava?" the other asked.

"How should _I_ know?" Chris answered in annoyance.

"Because we _told you_ as soon as we found out!" Shawn yelled at him, the rest of the peanut Gallery looking quite angry.

"But you just _ignored_ us and put us _all_ in danger!" Dawn added.

"Oh yeah," Chris said blankly. "I thought that was just, like, one of those things used to trick tourists."

"But there are signs _everywhere_!" a third old Hawaiian man spoke up, most of the Gallery parting to show him standing next to a wooden sign with a crossed-out pineapple on it. " _See_?" he added, taking a couple steps over to Blaineley, still bound in her hand truck, and kicking her over to reveal another sign behind her.

It was then that the volcano shook and rumbled, a long-distance shot of it showing a few reddish streaks forming along the outer edge of the crater.

"Well _crap_ ," Chris muttered. "Nice going, _Staci_ , your failure to smash the freaking things totally doomed us! I _never_ shoulda let a screw-up freak like you back on the show."

"Wh-what?" Staci said, her long ears and tail drooping in confusion.

" _Hey_!" Ella said sharply, putting her hands on her hips. "Don't blame _her_ when _you're_ the reason why those pineapples were here in the _first_ place!"

"Who cares about _any_ of that?" Sugar roared, the music blaring ominously. "All that matters is that I get what I _deserve_!" The music flared as she tackled Chris, knocking him to the ground and grabbing for the suitcase.

Shots of Ella, Staci, Chef, the helpers, and the Peanut Gallery all gaping in shock were interspersed with clips of Sugar and Chris wrestling for the million-dollar case, drawing closer and closer to the edge of the crater. Eventually, the case slipped out of both their grasps, and fell towards the lava accompanied by a hollow, almost chanted, downward-sliding note.

" _NOOOOO_ ~!" Sugar cried in shock and horror.

Once it had disappeared into the bubbling molten rock, the perspective inverted to show the two looking over the lip of the crater in shock.

"Whoa," Chris said as the volcano began to shake again, "didn't see _that_ one coming. Anywho," he chuckled before taking a deep breath and yelling " _RRRUUUUNNNNNN!_ "

The music abruptly became tenser than ever as the volcano was shown from a distance again, the smoke billowing from the top turning into a full-blown eruption of fire.

The scene cut to the top of the path up the volcano as the three Hawaiian men went running back down it, followed by Chef, the intern who'd been carrying the ice, Chris, Staci, Ella and Sugar, and the rest of the cast.

"B-but, my _prize_!" Sugar stuttered in disbelieving panic as she ran. "I was supposed to _win_! It's what I _deserve_ after everything, isn't it?"

"No you _weren't_ ," Ella told her sharply, "no it _isn't_ , and _please_ get over yourself already!"

Sugar gasped at the remark, and in her shock she tripped. Ella groaned in annoyance, but stepped back and grabbed Sugar's arm just as the rest of the cast caught up with them. Ella started running again, dragging the fallen and dazed Sugar behind her over several painful-looking bumps and stones. As the cast left the screen, lava pour down the side of the volcano and covered the screen.

It parted as the scene cut to the base, the former contestants running and screaming across the beach as flaming rocks rained down from above.

"See you next season I guess," Chris said with an odd sort of calmness as the camera cut to him, a strangely solemn tune playing in the background as fire continued to fall. "Maybe with a whole new cast, 'cause let's face it – these guys are probably gonna melt," he laughed, pointing a thumb in the direction the cast had fled.

"Until next time," the host said, his voiced strained as the scene cut to him standing up in front of the sky, an ominous chanting note punctuating the music. "I'm Chris McLean, and this has been Total! Drama!" The camera zoomed out to reveal that him and Chef were now aboard the old Boat of Losers, but the host's outtro was interrupted by a sudden whistling sound. Both men looked up, and the music peaked dramatically as particularly large and deadly-looking flaming rock hurtled down towards them.

Chris and Chef ducked to either side as it landed, punching a hole in the ship with its crash. The Boat of Losers began to sink with a hollow sound, and most of the rest of the cast – revealed to be treading water nearby – laughed as the two adults went under.

Their mirth was short-lived, however, and quickly turned to terror and they swam away screaming as large flaming rocks started raining down upon them once again. Only Ella was left behind, having briefly dove underwater rather than try to swim away.

An elegant and somewhat familiar song began to play, and Ella began to sing. "This journey has ended, it really was splendid, and my heart's still very much thrumming! I think we've all grown now, I wish we could show how...," she paused briefly as a large shadow grew over her, looked up, then finished in alarm. "But alas, another rock's coming!"

She screamed musically as she swam away from another flaming rock falling towards her, and the footage cut to static.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And there you have it, folks! Ella is officially the winner of Total Shuffled World Tour. I know that not all of you like her, and quite a few were rooting for Alejandro - or even Sugar - to win, but I also know that a lot of people are gonna be really happy about this, and that I myself enjoy having the good people win.

So, let's go back through the episode and look at a few of the decisions I made. First, the tiebreaker: I had initially wanted to have the challenge be something more in Ella's favor, but I honestly just couldn't come up with anything that would be appropriately Hawaiian themed. Maybe that's my fault for not doing enough research, but it is what it is. I didn't want to spend a lot of time coming up with something for it, especially since I had the song and the extra ending to write, so I just made the canon challenge work. Alejandro kept his canon strategy of trying to knock his smaller and weaker opponent from the platform first, while Ella was forced to try and complete the actual objective as she went - which, of course, ended up working for her in the end. She cut through Alejandro's facade enough to make him hesitate, and she was able to seize the opportunity to claim victory. I hope that you all found that believable, if not satisfying.

Regarding the helpers, I knew early on that it would be Ezekiel for Ella and Staci for Sugar, with Tyler having to sit out due to injury and Alejandro deciding to remain neutral as he really didn't care to help either of them. After that, Ella's second was decided based on who she had a decent past relationship and would see as the most helpful in the challenge - this ended up being DJ, due to his strength and the bonding they did on their brief time on Team Victory together. Sugar, on the other hand, was gonna have to be what she felt was the least of a bunch of evils - someone she hadn't betrayed directly, and would at least play along with being on her team. I decided on Sam for this role, because he struck me as having a reason to stay reasonably neutral (being an Aftermath host), and because I thought forcing it on him would be amusing. Plus, I wanted a third boy.

The song, of course, is a Shuffled version of 'Versus'. I did consider having something more original in its place, but between having so much else to write - and get right - I decided to just stick with something simple. And since the first song of the season was a Shuffled version of a canon one, having the very last one be as well felt right to me. Ezekiel was really the only choice for the rapping parts (though I did briefly consider Beardo as Ella's helper for this part of the song), and I will state that his lines are faster than Harold's in canon so don't expect them to follow along with each other.

The Peanut Gallery actually knowing about the pineapple-lava thing was, I think, an interesting and believable twist since Dawn and Shawn are around. It added a bit more tension, I think, about how things would go down, though it did mean that Sugar had to be the one to throw the pineapple into the volcano in both endings.

The Point of Divergence, of course, is Staci's decision - to risk an eruption and/or Sugar's betrayal for a piece of the million, or to realize that it wasn't worth it and try to destroy the pineapples even if it meant Ella winning. It took me a while to figure out exactly how the two endings would thus play out, since I still needed the volcano to erupt and the money to be destroyed, but I'm happy with what I ended up deciding on.

Ironically, Sugar's ending turned out to be worse for her - she ended up getting scorched by molten rock much the same way that Alejandro and Ezekiel did in canon, and ultimately got nothing for her troubles but a whole world of hurt. And in the canon ending - Ella's ending - she still lost everything because of her own desperation, but made it out with only some scrapes, bruises, and a lot of wounded pride. Why did I make it this way, and not just have her burned up with lava like in her own ending? Because I honestly just didn't want her, or anybody else, to end up in the Drama Machine. I get why that little 'Revenge of the Sith' allusion was done in canon, but while it certainly worked for Alejandro's character in All-Stars it just wouldn't have been the same for Sugar. Sorry if I disappointed anyone in doing so, but that's just how I felt.

And Ella...well, she may have lost her prize money, but she did go out with a nice little reprise of the very first song she sung this season.

That's all for this season, folks! It was a blast to write, and even with its flaws I'm pretty happy with the story I've told these past several months. I wanna thank every last reviewer I've had these past three seasons (except the trolls); without your support, and the support of the other readers, I don't know if I'd have been able to get through this as quickly and as happily as I have. Thank you all so, so much.

The twenty-four contestants of the first generation are done for now. Their stories are (mostly) over, and next week thirteen new (but still familiar) faces will take their place as the stars of the show. Who are they, and how will they fare on the series' return to Camp Wawanakwa? Find out next **Friday, February 12th, 2016** , on the premiere of Total Shuffled Revenge of the Island!

Until then, let me know what you thought of the finale, and have fun!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSWT Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (RETURNED)

Beardo - (18th Place)

Lightning - (17th Place)

Dawn - (Quit Unofficially | RETURNED)

Bridgette - (16th Place)

Geoff - (15th Place)

Scott - (14th Place | Disqualified)

Scarlett - (13th Place)

Sierra - (12th Place)

DJ - (11th Place)

Shawn - (10th Place)

Staci - (9th Place)

Sammy - (8th Place)

Blaineley - (Tied for 7th Place)

Dawn - (Tied for 7th Place)

Ezekiel - (5th Place)

Tyler - (4th Place | Disqualified?)

Alejandro - (3rd Place)

Sugar (RUNNER-UP | Alternate Winner)

Ella (WINNER | Alternate Runner-Up)


End file.
